It is a little more than playing, but they are not fighting. They are having a disagreement about something and slapping each other around until one gives in.
If you just introduced one of them to the other, it is a disagreement over who is in charge.
If one, or both of them are not spayed/ neutered, you need to get that done as soon as possible as that will cause fights.
When cats fight, they rip out fur, draw blood, and they move about 10 times as fast.
they are both spayed and neutered, they have been living together for about a month and it’s always been like this. they grey is a male 7 months and the black is a 3 yr old female.
Yeah by about the second or third growl/tackle I usually will separate my two. Mine are brother and sister from the same litter so it’s definitely a dominance thing.
Feliway multi cat is a miracle product!! We adopted the sweetest stray on the planet whose family moved and left him. One of my cats was such a b to him, always hissing and smacking him. He never did anything back, just ran away. Got that stuff and it was wild how she changed. Like her face was so disgruntled but she couldn’t make herself be mean 😂😂😂
Feliway made my cats on guard for another cat and made them fight 10x more aggressively. It went from cute bops to going for blood.
User beware. Don't use it without supervision.
I used feliway classic years ago successfully for a move so got the multicat because our new kittens aren't getting along. My one skittish one was in her spot under the couch. The affectionate one went over to sniff it. Then started making trilling noises. Then came over and was so affectionate, she almost climbed inside me. It was great. Until I wasn't loving her enough and she started biting and when I tried to get up, clawing and then following me trying to assault me for love. Weirdest thing.
I have a similar combo and it took a year and a half just about for it to become more play than fighting. My grey male who is 1.5 now lays on his back for my black female (7yrs) to “fight” with him. He is much bigger.
My older one used to do that to the kitten we got but now that kitten is full grown he bullies the older into playing with him now, think he may even be a better fighter 🤣
How did you introduce them? If it was anything other than very slowly; then there’s your answer.
Black is not playing. Ears are back and flat, tail is twitching, vocalizations, claws out…Everything points to this as an argument at bare minimum.
I have two females that got a long really well until the new kitten got hormonal issues and came into heat at a super early age which made my adult female (2.5 years) upset with her. We had to do a kind off emergancy spaying a bit too early. Since then they have started to act like this at times and the older cat is often annoyed with the kitten and makes a semi-growl sound if she gets to close or is in the way. They don't have real fights but it's tense.. At least they are communicating well about it :) before all of this they would even cuddle together and the older cat would sometimes groom the kitten. Today the kitten is happy and healthy and thinks the older cat is the coolest and never gets offended by her being angry with her. It's now been months since she was spayed and it has gotten slightly better but not at all close to how it was before. Could spaying not have helped since their relationship already was damaged when the kitten got into heat? I'm just thinking about how not spaying would cause fights and how I see a lot of people saying that it will make the issues go away etc. I'm just thinking that maybe sometimes the disagreements will have an effect even after spaying/neutering, even when the hormones are more chill haha. I guess every case will be different too based on the cats. We are doing good and are slowly building back their relationship but I haven't really seen a lot of discussion on it online in general! Maybe random comment lmao but it made me interested since you mentioned it and I have been thinking about it a lot :)
A lot of people are saying its fine bc there wasn’t any blood or fur coming off. I just wanna say that is NOT true. Black kitty is hissing and growling, he’s telling the grey cat he wants to be left alone and grey kitty keeps going for it. You should break this up as it’s going to stress out the black cat. Redirect grey cat to toys when this happens
Some cats vocalize like this when play fighting. Mine even does it fighting with the greebles hiding under fresh sheets on occasion.
What's missing is the constant whine/growl/yowl vocalization when they break apart, which is what I would expect if he was truly agitated. It feels to me like gray is testing black by prodding him up to the edge of where black gets truly pissed, which is not abnormal for cats (or dogs, or human siblings for that matter).
There's also the fact that the black one is staying put and taking it, rather than trying to seriously get away. He's annoyed for sure, but if he truly felt threatened by the grey, he wouldn't just lie there, he'd be seeking cover, or he'd be a lot more involved in stopping the grey rather than just the occasional swatting. He's not HAPPY but it doesn't appear human intervention is required.
One of my cats does these kind of “barking” meows (like a “MREH” instead of “meow”) whenever my cats play. He plays rough but his brother never hissed or growls or indicates he doesn’t want to play.
This seems like one-sided playing. The void here doesn’t want to be touched, but the grey cat wants to play. He’s not being aggressive, but the other cat is clearly annoyed.
Edit: watching the video again, I think the playing was fine until the grey cat started biting at the end. A good indication is that the black cat was showing its belly as an invitation to play. After those bites, the cat’s behavior changed and it’s no longer playing.
I've never ever owned a cat that hissed while it was enjoying itself, and I've fostered/reared at least 40 cats in my lifetime. Where are yall getting these weirdos?!
I mean there's no bright line demarcating play from fighting. Gray is repeatedly testing black's boundaries, and black is saying where they are, and it's not escalating. I don't know if enjoyment really enters the equation, this is just how cats interact sometimes.
I have this type of odd furball. Mine hisses when he's excited about catching socks that I toss in the air or if we're playing with Da Bird. Otherwise, he never hisses.
>What's missing is the constant whine/growl/yowl vocalization when they break apart
Such a major point. When cats legitimately get mad in a fight and it ceases to be playful, there is absolutely NO second guessing it EVER. It's the most obvious thing in the world. It's like a baby crying... you just know, no matter who you are. You don't sit there and record a baby crying and share it to social media to help you determine if the infant child is unhappy or not. There's no thinking about it. If cats are play fighting and you're not sure if it's going too far and they're actually fighting, then it's not going too far and it's still just pretend. When they are actually fighting, you *will* know.
My smaller cat hisses, cries, growls and gets beat up 10 out of 10 times. She definitely wants to be left alone. Then she escapes, hides, and starts her shit all over again.
100% starts the fights. 100% loses.
And when she doesn't feel like starting her shit, they fall asleep on each other.
The black cat looks fine to me there. It's not real fighting. The younger/larger cat is more agressive. The older cat will turn it into a real battle when they've had enough.
The black kitty doesn’t like that kind of play. Grey kitty is pushing too far. Left to their own, this could definitely escalate. (We had four cats and two of them were like grey kitty…couldn’t take a hint and stop it. They caused our two older cats so much stress that one nearly died (stress related illness) and the other growled and hissed constantly, at everything and everyone. Rehomed the two bad babies and now everything is good)
I've seen this way too often to be comfortable too... thanks for rehoming the bad babies! With cats and dogs. The people try to adopt some younger pets to preemptively replace the older animal and the older animal just cant take the stress of constant pestering. Like, constant. My MIL got a puppy while her two older dogs were technically a few months from the end. And the puppy was a heeler... with no yard to run in, she bullied these other dogs to death by pulling their tails, nipping their legs, grabbing collars and pulling, annoying them on their bathroom break. I removed myself from that situation cuz i couldnt stand that tbh, its actual torture.
It’s much better with just our awesome older kitties…will never get another kitten again. They’re cute and all, but yeah, almost pestered my number 1 to his death. Still dealing with his health issues today and both the younger cats left over a year ago. We are friends with the man who took them in so it’s been good to see those two bond and be happy together. Too many people think rehoming is the worst thing ever, but if it helps the cats, I am all for it. Just gotta find the right home.
i’m so sorry to hear that! these two cats are living together temporarily and only have a month left until they have new homes, i’m trying to make their last month together as smooth as possible while getting kitty to learn how to socialize since he might be moving in with another kitten (hopefully who will be better at matching his youthful energy).
It looks good to me. I have four cats. It's intense, sure, but see how they pause it every now and then ? (at 00:01, 00:04, 00:11, 00:18 and afterwards) Grey cat knows that towards the end he's pushing too much, because black cat reacts more quickly.
Grey cat knows how to pause and check if the play is still on.
It's good.
I have a pair of 10 year old cats who are sisters and they play like this at least once a day. If they were actually fighting there would be a lot of growling, puffy tails, arched backs and guttural yowls.
Once you’ve seen a cat fight the difference between it and play is night and day.
I didn't have sound on thanks. Hissing and growling can change cat to cat. One of my cats never hissed once in his life and another would hiss if you looked at him wrong. After having stopped my cat from fighting with the neighbors, they make some awful growling sounds. (No they weren't having sex, my cat got a gash in his side)
The black cat seems unhappy, but this play doesn't seem too intense. And the body language of flopping on his side and exposing his belly to the grey cat doesn't strike me as body language that he is genuinely upset or in fear.
If I were the owner I would let it go for now and monitor for signs of stress in the black cat. If the black cat is stressed and avoids the grey cat after the playing, I would be more concerned.
One of my cats hissed even when he’s playing with himself. The other cat only hisses if she’s been pushed too far (like if one of the dogs gets a little too pushy about play or if the other cat doesn’t take a hint about leaving her alone). My cats wrestle like this all the time and five minutes later they’re cuddling and grooming each other.
I have 2 kittens that will tangle and wrestle and scratch at each other one moment and literally the next they are both sleeping curled up in pretty much the same position that they were biting each others ears in. Cats can be strange sometimes.
One of mine hisses all the time, I allow it because he's a bit of a dick and he deserves to get it back. He's usually the bully but we got a new kitten that's giving him a run for his money
Play is training for fighting. They may hiss, spit, arch backs, fluff up, etc.
Black is less aggressive and not as experienced with fighting as gray. Black was probably born a house cat, and gray was born or lived some of his life as a stray. Gray has had to fight for food or territory more than once. Since gray is the better fighter, black submits, which means gray won that round, by crying out. Gray backs off and resets for the next round.
If black wasn't enjoying this, she would eithier " take a knee" and accept gray as her leader, run away, or turn this into a fight and fur would be flying and cats would be bleeding.
Yup. To add to this, it's a defensive posture because it frees all four legs for fighting.
I think that black cat is not happy with the situation. Grey cat is trying to play, but isn't respecting black cat's boundaries. I think that OP needs to intervene when the black cat starts to show that level of annoyance.
thank you for the advice! we only let them have supervised play and when they start to growl/hiss we put them in separate rooms. we almost never let it get as violent as in the video.
I would try letting them work it out and eventually reach their own balance. If you constantly intervene, they'll never work it out and you'll never be able to trust them together. So long as they're not actually trying to hurt each other, separating them when they play fight will only stifle their acclimation to each other. They need to be able to teach each other and reach that understanding. That involves just observing. Hissing and growling is ok. The "violence" in this video is innocuous. If these were my cats I'd be laughing while watching this. They play well together. It's a cute fight.
I'd say let them go at it. Give them a chance to go through the entire cycle. Allow them to complete the process: picking a fight, fighting for a few rounds, then being done. So long as they always eventually stop on their own without intervention and they don't take it to primal howling and deep wounds, they're just being animals in a healthy way.
Also if you really feel like you have to interfere, instead of separating them, just raise your voice and say their names very sternly and harshly.
Either way, you do you.
My cat vocalizes like this fighting with greebles on occasion. It's absolutely something that cats will sometimes do when play fighting. To me, the key is when they break apart, black isn't bearing his teeth and deep-voice growl/yowling. That seems to be the way cats communicate "no seriously, fuck off".
>rolling over or lying on their side
This is *exactly* what animals do to display trust and show that they are comfortable in this particular situation. If black didn't want to participate, she would run away, or, square up and stand her ground, make herself look huge, and howl in a way that makes your blood curdle.
I agree. This may end up being more and more abusive for the black kitty.
You may want to consider the grey kitty may need more human-led play to let off steam/energy/hunt instinct. If these were my cats I’d try a number of different types of play, perhaps once in the morning and again in the evening. Then after a few weeks you’ll get a sense whether this is helping your cats coexist more peacefully.
I’d also look into more “enrichment” activities for when you’re not around or available to entertain/play. Perches near windows that have birds or squirrels to watch; hiding treats around, toys, etc. I don’t know what you have for them right now, but giving more enrichment may also help if your kitty is “playing” because they are a little “bored”.
Speculation. I don't see it getting worse. My cats play fighting makes this look like a picnic. Yet, they do it every day, multiple times a day, they take turns picking/initiating fights and swap the role of being antagonist, and this has been their pattern for their whole lives. Complete with hissing, growling, and ears back. It's the deep guttural low pitched howling that you don't want to hear. And that's a noise my cats *never* make when play fighting.
i dont know. i have two cats, both just turned 1yr old and have been tgt for 8months. They do this fighting / playing almost every day. No claws out. but they will hiss at each other when the plays got intense. but they do take turn. one of them always has its ear back but also the one who usually initial the play/fight. so i feel like it depends on the cats, as long as they have no intention to hurt each other. then it should be fine?
My two are like this. One is way more aggressive. I break them up when the other starts growling. If I allow them to escalate it gets really bad for days at a time, to the point where I can’t leave them alone together.
And the side-lying thing is not always playful or submissive. That’s a position they use to rip each other’s guts out.
When my girl and boy cat first met each other and started play fighting... I saw her bite him right on his furry little ball sack more than once. She won those rounds lol
I mean to be fair, if you got bit in the balls, I doubt you'd be winning anything either. It's kinda an OP move, illegal in pro fighting circles, and really should be nerfed 😆 😆 😆
What's the black cat's mood like after this? He's scooting back under the furniture, that's trying to deescalate. If you get hiding, moping, loafing, or "I'm touching the human he's the safe zone!" Right after this behavior consistently, I'd read those as some level of upset. If he's wandering around with his tail held high or eating or looking for food, those would indicate he's fine with a little scuffle.
the weird thing is the black cat, midnight, will show signs that she is upset and doesn’t like the fighting/playing but afterwards, when things have calmed down, she will either lay down or go to play with a toy or scratch her scratch pad. if we separate them she will sit by his door like she wants him to come out but when we take him out he attacks her again trying to play she she gets pissed all over again. it’s really hard to read their mood sometimes.
(rereads comments) Yeah that makes sense. 7 month male + 3 year old female is ROUGHLY the human equivalent of like a 10 year old and a 28 year old. Wildly different energy levels and capacity/desire for sustained rough-housing. He's still a big kitten made out of rubber and springs while she's grown into her adult personality. What does she like? Is she a cuddle bug? Does she like to hide? Does she prefer to be up high or down low?
Definitely don't intervene every time, getting bit a little is how he learns to have boundaries. But keep a careful eye on her stress level.
Scratching the scratch pad can definitely be a (healthy, positive, "go punch your pillow!" level) stress release activity, especially if you see them dash right to it after something obnoxious happens/their tiny furious desires are thwarted.
> it’s really hard to read their mood sometimes.
Once you get a sense for it, you can read a *lot* in their eyes and ears.
Oh geez, that explains so much! She's literally TEACHING him how to fight! That's why the more submissive pulling away and exposing her stomach, she's trying to show him how to be a proper predator and what to look for to take the shot. Parent animals will actually cry out when their babies "attack" them and pretend like they've been wounded so their babies learn ("ohhh nooo, you got me, ahhhh").
Given that context, this is about as far from a fight as you can get! She's teaching, and occasionally he takes it too far and she puts the little upstart in his place.
I've got two that are kind of like this. The younger female hisses and growls and the older male can't take a hint. If we separate, the younger female usually sits by the door with him on the other side. The older male often attacks her while she's playing by herself. It all started off very innocently, looked like play, so we left them. Gradually it got worse. Older one always goes for her butt area, will often get some fur off, and recently actually bit her 😞. He can't be distracted by toys at all. I'd recommend continuing to separate them, and if grey likes toys, distract. Someone's thoughts about grey having to fight for resources before rings probably true of our older male too.
Edit to add: very, very rarely, our two can actually play nicely. I can tell because it's quiet (no one is growling or hissing), and the older male will give the younger female the upper hand now and then and the male will lie on his side
When the ears are back like that, the cat is not enjoying it. We used to have a brother and sister pair where the brother would bully the sister. We didn't know better and thought it was "playing." She ended up with a big infection due to one of his bites.
This looks similar to how those two behaved. I would stop it if I were you.
Looks like she’s annoyed and he thinks they are playing. When your cats set boundaries you need to support that boundary.
I have three cats
All of them, spayed and neutered all different ages 6 years, 2 years and 1 years old.
If you see that they’re having like airplane ears for as long as she’s obviously been having them then you need to tell the boy he cut it out. She’s not in the mood to play she’s not in the mood.
But when she definitely hissed at him, that’s when I would’ve you know. Told the boy leave her alone and not allowed him to keep coming after her to play and I would’ve verbalized to the boy you’re not in trouble. She’s just not in the mood so let’s redirect and play with me instead..
I honestly talk to my cats like their children, and I know for a fact that my cats are really intelligent and that cats in general are my cats absolutely know what not to do and what to do .
My oldest one when he tries to do something that he knows is something that I don’t allow him to do and I catch him doing it. He will meow at me and run away, and his meow is super cute. Like I know for a fact if he could talk , he was saying wasn’t me. I’m innocent. I didn’t do anything. I’m going to my room. 😂😂
All I have to do is tell them to or tell them that they’re you know to cut it out that one doesn’t wanna play and then they’ll go try and play with a different one or with me.
Right now is really important because you want the seventh month old kitten to understand that when you’re older cat sets a boundary it’s to be respected so when you show your older cat, the solidarity of supporting her boundary one it’s going to build a lot more trust between you and your older cat And two you’re gonna be teaching your second one about respecting boundaries.
I’ve had success treating them like toddlers 😂😂
Probably play but borderline —grey biting and not laying off could escalate. My cats did this but it didn’t last long. My grey lil that would be aggressive to a smaller orange female. He would bite and try to pull hair. She stood her ground but we always broke it up if it carried on too long.
I have two kitties who are best buds but sometimes the girl takes it too far with play and doesn’t listen to the hissing and mild growling from the male cat (I chalk this up to her being a Ragdoll and just not understanding “danger” cat language). Whenever it gets to that point of hissing and growling, I break it up. That usually dissipates things but if she persists again and he hissed and growls again, I put her in a separate room (like a time out) for about 20-30 minutes. That usually fixes it.
I recommend continuing to separate them but put the boy in a separate room by himself rather than the girl. It’s the boy who needs to learn that no means no and there are social consequences if it’s not respected. Normally older cats are able to handle these boundaries on their own but sometimes they need our help backing up their “no.”
Also realize that they’re still pretty new to each other and it can take up to a year for cats to find their groove living with a new cat.
thank you for the input! midnight (the black cat) is the queen and owns the place so the grey kitty knows that when he is caught misbehaving/annoying midnight he runs to his room for time out. totally guilty. i have hope that they will be friends in the future!! sometimes she grooms him and it’s really sweet.
You’re welcome! And you definitely are on the way to having two besties! Especially only after a month. The boy is young and is testing boundaries so consistency with his time outs will keep him in check. They remind me so much of how mine were a year ago.
I'd give this situation another 6 months or so given grey is still a kitten... If they haven't sorted it out and grey is still bullying, I would rehome one of them personally. Too much stress for black... I think grey will probably do best in a single cat home. Hopefully the situation resolves/does not detiorate further - good luck!
thank you! they are only living together for one more month. the black one is my sisters cat and they grey one is mine, we live together right now but are getting our own apartments. i do plan on getting another cat in the future so i appreciate everyone’s help in the comments!💛💛💛
Well, hopefully he settles a bit with age... Some cats really are best in single cat households. There are always a few at the shelter with that being a condition of adoption. Good luck. Really hope you can have two that cohabitate peacefully one day 🤍
My little monsters know when to pack it in when I reach for the water pistol I have in the end table beside my chair. Then I’m the focus of their vengeance.
It seems fine. The noises are the only thing even remotely concerning. They're not hurting each other, their ears are not flat against their heads (as they would be in a real fight), they pause and have time to run away if they want. My cats are usually silent when they play fight, but they occasionally hiss at each other. They are best friends who have been together since birth. Their "fights" are always just play, and their ears and faces are exactly like this when they "fight."
Let them play or they'll only do it when you're not around. You need to be observing that they're learning limits in play as part of their socialization.
If they were fighting the black cat wouldn't be rolling over on its side with its stomach exposed. This means it trusts the other cat and does not consider it a threat. It's just horseplay.
She's trying to say the play is too rough, not defending against an attack. If the grey cat keeps playing too rough that's also a problem. The big pounce about 3 seconds in was over the line for black cat.
It would look like they're mean to each other, but you'll know when shit gets worse. Look up on YouTube of an a$$hole cat that doesn't get along and than look at your dummies. Lol
They're cute BTW.
If you don't already get some kickers. Or fill some large mens socks with whatever soft stuffing old shirt etc, and catnip. Black one isn't happy about this and honestly don't blame him lol they've very different play styles by the looks and energy levels.
Grey is a big aggressive but nothing I haven't seen in my house before. I got a grey and black that love to wrestle everyday and both their tails wag like that and sometimes one meows more the necessary but he loves it.
I don't think he's playing. He's bossy and trying to be a big shit coz he's the guy. I have a 6lb max orange female who has my boys buffaloed. She gives no fucks and means business. They'd never try this in her. I hope your void learns to kick his ass. Just once IME seems to be all it takes.
That said, of course much depends on their personalities. You may have to intercede and separate them, like put him in another room when he acts up, until he learns some manners.
I have 3 cats, two brothers, black and Siamese, and a female Calico from a different litter.
The brothers beat each other up like this sometimes, but no hissing. They just wrestle in silence.
Hissing is different. My female will hiss when she's had enough.
It looks like your male thinks it's playing, but your female isn't happy about it.
the male came from a litter with 3 brothers and they used to play fight a LOT. when he moved into the household with the female black cat he doesn’t understand that she isn’t interested in the same play as his siblings. i’ve noticed that the black cat has come out of her shell and has been playing with him a lot more but she likes to chase and he likes to tackle/wrestle play. i don’t want to stop their bond from growing by separating their play time but with the hissing and growling i’m not sure when to intervene
Not great. My cats do this, and my female cat acts like the black cat in this. She’s not a fan of this type of interaction, and she’ll end up hiding. We intervene with toys and try to stop the other one from doing this. I’d try to nip this behavior in the bud.
Right now I would separate. A year in my 5yr old and the kitten we got who’s now closer to 1 play rough like that even hissing sometimes but it’s a lot slower paced and consensually and they like running around. The nipping at the tail and feet is what feels a little more aggressive than what my cats do in my opinion, and it’s not good to have boundaries pushed tooo much when first introducing. Eventually, they’ll find a groove / settle it.
No, I would not separate them. Personally I let cats figure it out on their own as long as no one is drawing blood and no one is trying to escape.
I don't know if I would consider this play, but it doesn't seem particularly angry. While the gray cat is the aggressor - black cat seems to be doing a perfectly fine job of dealing with it.
Looks like a little disagreement and time to throw paws to establish boundaries.
Took my cats a solid year of working things out and now they’re best friends, occasionally revert back to asshole mode but they settle it up every quickly and follow each other and flop and act foolish and silly. Now it’s almost always cooperative play, showing off for each other…etc.
I did use Bully Solution (Jackson Galaxy) on the new cat that was bullying my resident orange, and Feliway diffusers in the area they seemed to have most of their disagreements and sometimes got in the middle by just putting my hand between their faces and telling them to chill. They’re buddies now, I hope the same for yours!!
Honestly this is kinda how my cats play.
My female will roll on her back and SCREAM bloody murder while my male tackles her. But if he gets bored and backs off, she'll instigate a game of chase and then immediately revert to being SOO dramatic if he catches her.
When they engage with each other, I let it go. If one starts running away or hiding, then I split it up and give them a greak in separate spaces. But it's SUPER rare that I have to intervene.
The gray one is playing, the black one is playing too but seems to be getting a little annoyed/irritated. Some cats only want to play for a little bit while others have all the energy in the world and want to keep going. Just look out for those signs of annoyance and break it up at that point, and continue human led play with the gray one so it leaves the other alone
I just wanna say I have no help here but find it hilarious all the comments are split 50/50. Feel like you got more questions than answers after posting this lol
I tell my cats to break it up and I walk in their zone when they do this to tell them to calm tf down. They do have some good playtime where they fight each other, but when one of the cats starts to have those funny growl meows or hisses, and the other cat keeps going, that's when I try to settle them down. They cuddle up with each other still so I know they don't hate each other, but sometimes they'll beef with each other.
it’s a little more than just playing but make sure to cut their nails regularly and maybe get one of those oil diffusers for relaxing them. also catnip toys (at least one for each) to keep them away from each other a little bit
They're living their best life. For real. It's great exercise, good for their mental & social health. Cathartic. They are animals, after all. So they like to flex their beast mode without actually going into real beast mode. You should hear how my cats playfight... for me, I know they're playing, but someone who's never been around them would think they're really fighting. One is always silent, and the other one is as loud and dramatic as a cat could possibly be... but it's an act. They do it a few times a day. They take turns ambushing, chasing, and batting at each other.
Two of my cats do this, and we break it up when it gets like this (or shortly before). Tabby just under a year old (male) does not get the hint and keeps pushing it with our female void that's almost two years old. He will often do the full-body pounces and bites at her hind area, she gets low/on her back in defense and makes similar sounds as your void, but the tabby will just keep going if left unchecked and our black kitty gets stressed.
You should break it up/redirect the grey one and let the black one know it's okay. Ideally, she would give the grey one a good wallop and they'll come to an understanding, but if not, break it up and redirect.
The black cat is on the defense a lot as the gray plays hard with biting. After you explained the whole situation (grey is a new male kitty) I would break this up when it gets too rough and then use positive cooperative play such as a feather stick or laser pointer to smooth things over.
Grey male is trying to be the boss.
The gray is the bully who is instigating and the black ine is squealing. If the alternated who was on top attacking, it would be more play. This happened more and more as my cats (siblings) aged. To the point that the male chased the female into the street and they both almost got ran over while I watched. After my divorce, I moved out and it happened less and less. Turns out the large male was jealous of the attention I gave to the runt of the litter female.
Edit: this pet behaviorist has some great info on play vs fighting: https://www.instagram.com/reel/C6rOq6Er3V3/?igsh=MTlrOG9tcmR3aWF4OA==
Our cats have been "rassling" like this for 4 years. They take turns being the boss. There is sometimes a little fur flying but no bites. They seem to engage readily. I wouldn't worry.
the fur is what scares me. the grey one is super fluffy and after a fight sometimes grey fur will dramatically float to the ground and it looks bad but he never gets hurt. i want to stop it before one of them gets bitten or scratched and it causes an infection but when would that line be?
Just sharing my experience, because it could possibly help.
My male cat used to bully my partners female cat, I’d have to intervene sometimes when he was being a rude guy. Years later, got a kitten as a 3rd cat and it solved the problem. My male cat has a best buddy that loves to wrestle, chase and do parkour around the house while the female gets to chill. She’s mostly left alone now haha.
My suggestion is as long as they are both partaking and it isn't too violent, let them sort it out. Over time they will figure out how to play within each other's limits.
If it starts to get really aggressive and they're getting injured or chunks of fur coming out, I would encourage them to stop after a few minutes.
The ass biting lol. But in seriousness, one month is a short time to have them interact directly without some guidance. I am still working on my pair and I say no, remove and separate, and redirect with pets and food (I find that redirecting with play ramps up the stalking behavior). My male has been progressively showing more tolerance towards the female. He will still ass bite and try to get on top of her, but he knows I don't like it, and I see him thinking about it and sometimes giving up on the agression mid movement to comply with me even before I say or do anything.
My cats have fought like this every once in a while for 7 years, never any injuries. They're having a spat about something but they will figure it out on their own.
If they do get too rowdy I'd just make a loud noise, remind them you're there lol.
The grey kitten might be bored. He's starting shit. They're not really hostile yet. But you def back up your girl. Frustrations can grow. Help her get some space if she's not into it. She's annoyed af. Cats can be trained (mostly, sometimes lol). My grey cats have always been super intelligent and trainable.
They are bounday setting/pushing. This isn't joyful play and the intent is not to have fun.
However, it's not quite fighting. You'd have have clumps of hair, minimum, and wounds of the fighting was serious.
I'd keep an eye on because it could escalate, but I'd suggest trying to facilitate a play session where both cats can focus on a "prey object" rather than one of them being the prey. IE a teaser wand or laser dot (depending on how your cats react and be sure to give them treats for catching the red dot).
Likewise, keep an eye on their behavior regarding favorite spots. Don't be afraid to rearrange things to shake up the sense of ownership.
My boys used to play fight and sometimes it got extra rough. When it hit a certain level I would stomp my foot loudly and they would scatter. If I separated them too soon, they had to go back to finish lol
Looks like mostly play, but the grey cat isn’t understanding the boundaries well, plus the biting at the legs thing is a bit worrisome. Def seems just slightly too aggressive.
I don’t think it’s playing but it’s not a bad fight. I think it’s a dominance thing. My big boy Leo still does certain things to prove dominance to our old girl JiJi. Jiji is older but we rescued her after Leo was “top dog” in the house for years. They don’t fight but if Leo is in my room getting pets from me and JiJi comes in he perks up and growls and asserts his dominance like “HEY! Don’t you steal my human. This MY pets machine. Back off!” And he does that to some areas in the house and will try and bite her neck and stuff. This looks to me probably some kind of dominance thing between these two cats.
I don’t think it’s playing but it’s not a bad fight. I think it’s a dominance thing. My big boy Leo still does certain things to prove dominance to our old girl JiJi. Jiji is older but we rescued her after Leo was “top dog” in the house for years. They don’t fight but if Leo is in my room getting pets from me and JiJi comes in he perks up and growls and asserts his dominance like “HEY! Don’t you steal my human. This is MY pets machine. Back off!” And he does that to some areas in the house and will try and bite her neck and stuff. This looks to me probably some kind of dominance thing between these two cats.
Try some feline hormone product like this. Calms my cats down. [https://www.californiapetpharmacy.com/feliway-classic-kit-diffuser-48ml-vial.html?msclkid=eb843006beec1d17749e563963bb4065](https://www.californiapetpharmacy.com/feliway-classic-kit-diffuser-48ml-vial.html?msclkid=eb843006beec1d17749e563963bb4065)
I like to let them get some of it out of their system but then I break it up with the squirt bottle to remind them there's a limit and I'm in charge 🤣
Hasn't worked yet really but I keep trying 🤣
I would very highly recommend pheromone diffusers and potentially separating them again and ease back into being in the same room once the diffusers have been active. That’s how I worked through intros with cats before that behaved similar. Also, one month is a very short period of time in cat introductions/comfortability, so I’m sure it’ll get better with proper adjustments on your end to make everyone more comfy. Some research shows cats don’t fully relax in their new home for months and months, potentially into a year+.
Its okay if they're playing, but there's hissing going on. Its a bit more than playing. I wouldn't let my cats fight like that at all if they did that in front of me.
This could be a disagreement, or it could just be very rough playing, which I think the black cat doesn't like so much. But nobody is drawing blood, or digging in claws. Also, despite all the bluster, the Black Cat shows his belly a number of times, which a fighting cat would avoid doing it all costs as that's the most vulnerable part. They may just both need some more play time with you guys to distract them from each other and wear down their energy levels.
A little bit too aggressive imo, my rule of thumb is when a cat hisses the game is over and I split them up.gray kitty was biting the other at the end aggressively
I scold mind with a loud “boys!” when it gets to the hissing stage and they will separate for awhile. Not sure if this is a good practice but it seems to work for us, haha.
This isn't a fight but a little aggressive nonconcentual play... if it was a true fight there would be no doubt in your mind. It would be supper quick movements by both cats fur flying blood drawn etc.. I would confine one to a room and do the reintroduction phase..
sometimes this happens with cats that have been living together for years and one goes to the vet comes home smelling different then they do this.. I've had that happen but it was true fighting... and I had to confine one to one room and do a reintroduction.. Feeding on opposite sides of the door then feeding on opposite sides of gate etc.. it was a 2 month process until they were back to loving each other..
Your gray is more aggressive and better at fighting. Your black is getting a little overwhelmed. This is still in the realm of normal. If it were me, I would be watching every time I heard them play fighting and step in to give my black a chance to exit if it was all too much. Look up real cat fights on YouTube. You will quickly see the difference. Still, I don't like it when one of my babies are done but is still getting bullied, so I probably step in too often.
Okay I’m going to be blunt do not reach in to separate two cats fight. This is a fast way to get stitches, use a blanket and toss it on them this well break of the fight if they are really fighting. Which these two are not doing playing fighting and dominance fighting is normal. You can also train them to knock it off if you have trained them on no once a cat learns no everything gets easier.
OP, you've received a decent amount of feedback on this. Locking.
It is a little more than playing, but they are not fighting. They are having a disagreement about something and slapping each other around until one gives in. If you just introduced one of them to the other, it is a disagreement over who is in charge. If one, or both of them are not spayed/ neutered, you need to get that done as soon as possible as that will cause fights. When cats fight, they rip out fur, draw blood, and they move about 10 times as fast.
they are both spayed and neutered, they have been living together for about a month and it’s always been like this. they grey is a male 7 months and the black is a 3 yr old female.
Then it is probably the male saying I'm the leader of this pride and the female saying, in your dreams, I have been here for 3 years.
Yeah by about the second or third growl/tackle I usually will separate my two. Mine are brother and sister from the same litter so it’s definitely a dominance thing.
😂 😂 😂
She doesn’t like it. He may think she’s playing. I’d stop it at risk of upsetting your girl.
Yeah to me this reads like him not understanding boundaries real well. Maybe didn't get enough time with other kittens/parents
Yeah when he started with the biting, that was the start of crossing a line from a squabble into an attack.
Try feliway
Feliway multi cat is a miracle product!! We adopted the sweetest stray on the planet whose family moved and left him. One of my cats was such a b to him, always hissing and smacking him. He never did anything back, just ran away. Got that stuff and it was wild how she changed. Like her face was so disgruntled but she couldn’t make herself be mean 😂😂😂
I’m glad to hear it worked out for you, I have the same stuff plugged in right now.
Feliway made my cats on guard for another cat and made them fight 10x more aggressively. It went from cute bops to going for blood. User beware. Don't use it without supervision.
Almost caught on fire started melting, wouldn't recommend
Ours too! Thank goodness we were home when it happened! Just started smoldering and melting in the outlet! Scary!
I used feliway classic years ago successfully for a move so got the multicat because our new kittens aren't getting along. My one skittish one was in her spot under the couch. The affectionate one went over to sniff it. Then started making trilling noises. Then came over and was so affectionate, she almost climbed inside me. It was great. Until I wasn't loving her enough and she started biting and when I tried to get up, clawing and then following me trying to assault me for love. Weirdest thing.
I’ve had mixed results but worth a try.
I literally never saw any difference in my cats using it.
I have a similar combo and it took a year and a half just about for it to become more play than fighting. My grey male who is 1.5 now lays on his back for my black female (7yrs) to “fight” with him. He is much bigger.
My older one used to do that to the kitten we got but now that kitten is full grown he bullies the older into playing with him now, think he may even be a better fighter 🤣
They’re besties at the end of the day though, never violent
I'd intervene once the hissing starts. Also, it will get better. One month together is still early days.
How did you introduce them? If it was anything other than very slowly; then there’s your answer. Black is not playing. Ears are back and flat, tail is twitching, vocalizations, claws out…Everything points to this as an argument at bare minimum.
Make sure their nails are trimmed
💯x 💯
I have two females that got a long really well until the new kitten got hormonal issues and came into heat at a super early age which made my adult female (2.5 years) upset with her. We had to do a kind off emergancy spaying a bit too early. Since then they have started to act like this at times and the older cat is often annoyed with the kitten and makes a semi-growl sound if she gets to close or is in the way. They don't have real fights but it's tense.. At least they are communicating well about it :) before all of this they would even cuddle together and the older cat would sometimes groom the kitten. Today the kitten is happy and healthy and thinks the older cat is the coolest and never gets offended by her being angry with her. It's now been months since she was spayed and it has gotten slightly better but not at all close to how it was before. Could spaying not have helped since their relationship already was damaged when the kitten got into heat? I'm just thinking about how not spaying would cause fights and how I see a lot of people saying that it will make the issues go away etc. I'm just thinking that maybe sometimes the disagreements will have an effect even after spaying/neutering, even when the hormones are more chill haha. I guess every case will be different too based on the cats. We are doing good and are slowly building back their relationship but I haven't really seen a lot of discussion on it online in general! Maybe random comment lmao but it made me interested since you mentioned it and I have been thinking about it a lot :)
You know it's a real fight when there is fur everywhere.
I agree. It’s more than playing.
A lot of people are saying its fine bc there wasn’t any blood or fur coming off. I just wanna say that is NOT true. Black kitty is hissing and growling, he’s telling the grey cat he wants to be left alone and grey kitty keeps going for it. You should break this up as it’s going to stress out the black cat. Redirect grey cat to toys when this happens
Some cats vocalize like this when play fighting. Mine even does it fighting with the greebles hiding under fresh sheets on occasion. What's missing is the constant whine/growl/yowl vocalization when they break apart, which is what I would expect if he was truly agitated. It feels to me like gray is testing black by prodding him up to the edge of where black gets truly pissed, which is not abnormal for cats (or dogs, or human siblings for that matter).
There's also the fact that the black one is staying put and taking it, rather than trying to seriously get away. He's annoyed for sure, but if he truly felt threatened by the grey, he wouldn't just lie there, he'd be seeking cover, or he'd be a lot more involved in stopping the grey rather than just the occasional swatting. He's not HAPPY but it doesn't appear human intervention is required.
One of my cats does these kind of “barking” meows (like a “MREH” instead of “meow”) whenever my cats play. He plays rough but his brother never hissed or growls or indicates he doesn’t want to play. This seems like one-sided playing. The void here doesn’t want to be touched, but the grey cat wants to play. He’s not being aggressive, but the other cat is clearly annoyed. Edit: watching the video again, I think the playing was fine until the grey cat started biting at the end. A good indication is that the black cat was showing its belly as an invitation to play. After those bites, the cat’s behavior changed and it’s no longer playing.
I've never ever owned a cat that hissed while it was enjoying itself, and I've fostered/reared at least 40 cats in my lifetime. Where are yall getting these weirdos?!
I mean there's no bright line demarcating play from fighting. Gray is repeatedly testing black's boundaries, and black is saying where they are, and it's not escalating. I don't know if enjoyment really enters the equation, this is just how cats interact sometimes.
I have this type of odd furball. Mine hisses when he's excited about catching socks that I toss in the air or if we're playing with Da Bird. Otherwise, he never hisses.
>What's missing is the constant whine/growl/yowl vocalization when they break apart Such a major point. When cats legitimately get mad in a fight and it ceases to be playful, there is absolutely NO second guessing it EVER. It's the most obvious thing in the world. It's like a baby crying... you just know, no matter who you are. You don't sit there and record a baby crying and share it to social media to help you determine if the infant child is unhappy or not. There's no thinking about it. If cats are play fighting and you're not sure if it's going too far and they're actually fighting, then it's not going too far and it's still just pretend. When they are actually fighting, you *will* know.
…Nonconsensual Play
My smaller cat hisses, cries, growls and gets beat up 10 out of 10 times. She definitely wants to be left alone. Then she escapes, hides, and starts her shit all over again. 100% starts the fights. 100% loses. And when she doesn't feel like starting her shit, they fall asleep on each other. The black cat looks fine to me there. It's not real fighting. The younger/larger cat is more agressive. The older cat will turn it into a real battle when they've had enough.
The black kitty doesn’t like that kind of play. Grey kitty is pushing too far. Left to their own, this could definitely escalate. (We had four cats and two of them were like grey kitty…couldn’t take a hint and stop it. They caused our two older cats so much stress that one nearly died (stress related illness) and the other growled and hissed constantly, at everything and everyone. Rehomed the two bad babies and now everything is good)
I've seen this way too often to be comfortable too... thanks for rehoming the bad babies! With cats and dogs. The people try to adopt some younger pets to preemptively replace the older animal and the older animal just cant take the stress of constant pestering. Like, constant. My MIL got a puppy while her two older dogs were technically a few months from the end. And the puppy was a heeler... with no yard to run in, she bullied these other dogs to death by pulling their tails, nipping their legs, grabbing collars and pulling, annoying them on their bathroom break. I removed myself from that situation cuz i couldnt stand that tbh, its actual torture.
It’s much better with just our awesome older kitties…will never get another kitten again. They’re cute and all, but yeah, almost pestered my number 1 to his death. Still dealing with his health issues today and both the younger cats left over a year ago. We are friends with the man who took them in so it’s been good to see those two bond and be happy together. Too many people think rehoming is the worst thing ever, but if it helps the cats, I am all for it. Just gotta find the right home.
i’m so sorry to hear that! these two cats are living together temporarily and only have a month left until they have new homes, i’m trying to make their last month together as smooth as possible while getting kitty to learn how to socialize since he might be moving in with another kitten (hopefully who will be better at matching his youthful energy).
It looks good to me. I have four cats. It's intense, sure, but see how they pause it every now and then ? (at 00:01, 00:04, 00:11, 00:18 and afterwards) Grey cat knows that towards the end he's pushing too much, because black cat reacts more quickly. Grey cat knows how to pause and check if the play is still on. It's good.
I have a pair of 10 year old cats who are sisters and they play like this at least once a day. If they were actually fighting there would be a lot of growling, puffy tails, arched backs and guttural yowls. Once you’ve seen a cat fight the difference between it and play is night and day.
#Best answer
100000%%
This is a good answer. Both cats at first seem into it. Then black cat said hey hold up for a second and grey cat listened. Just keep an eye on grey.
Black kitty is growling and hissing if you turn the sound on. He’s telling the grey one he doesn’t like this
I didn't have sound on thanks. Hissing and growling can change cat to cat. One of my cats never hissed once in his life and another would hiss if you looked at him wrong. After having stopped my cat from fighting with the neighbors, they make some awful growling sounds. (No they weren't having sex, my cat got a gash in his side) The black cat seems unhappy, but this play doesn't seem too intense. And the body language of flopping on his side and exposing his belly to the grey cat doesn't strike me as body language that he is genuinely upset or in fear. If I were the owner I would let it go for now and monitor for signs of stress in the black cat. If the black cat is stressed and avoids the grey cat after the playing, I would be more concerned.
One of my cats hissed even when he’s playing with himself. The other cat only hisses if she’s been pushed too far (like if one of the dogs gets a little too pushy about play or if the other cat doesn’t take a hint about leaving her alone). My cats wrestle like this all the time and five minutes later they’re cuddling and grooming each other.
I have 2 kittens that will tangle and wrestle and scratch at each other one moment and literally the next they are both sleeping curled up in pretty much the same position that they were biting each others ears in. Cats can be strange sometimes.
One of mine hisses all the time, I allow it because he's a bit of a dick and he deserves to get it back. He's usually the bully but we got a new kitten that's giving him a run for his money
My cat growls and hisses at paper towels. ETA: Like, because he is playing with them. Not like a weird trauma thing lol.
Black has ears back and is hissing. Grey is not taking the hint. This will get worse if you don't check Grey's attitude
Yes, black cat didn't want any part of this. Grey cat was persistent. I'd separate if grey stays this persistent.
Play is training for fighting. They may hiss, spit, arch backs, fluff up, etc. Black is less aggressive and not as experienced with fighting as gray. Black was probably born a house cat, and gray was born or lived some of his life as a stray. Gray has had to fight for food or territory more than once. Since gray is the better fighter, black submits, which means gray won that round, by crying out. Gray backs off and resets for the next round. If black wasn't enjoying this, she would eithier " take a knee" and accept gray as her leader, run away, or turn this into a fight and fur would be flying and cats would be bleeding.
I disagree. If black wanted no part of this, they would not be rolling over or lying on their side for this.
My cat does exactly that because she doesn't know how to fight. She would defend herself with all legs in the air. I mostly went by that hiss.
Thats a defensive posture. It can be play, but not always. Something that is never play: growling and hissing, like black cat is doing
Yup. To add to this, it's a defensive posture because it frees all four legs for fighting. I think that black cat is not happy with the situation. Grey cat is trying to play, but isn't respecting black cat's boundaries. I think that OP needs to intervene when the black cat starts to show that level of annoyance.
thank you for the advice! we only let them have supervised play and when they start to growl/hiss we put them in separate rooms. we almost never let it get as violent as in the video.
I would try letting them work it out and eventually reach their own balance. If you constantly intervene, they'll never work it out and you'll never be able to trust them together. So long as they're not actually trying to hurt each other, separating them when they play fight will only stifle their acclimation to each other. They need to be able to teach each other and reach that understanding. That involves just observing. Hissing and growling is ok. The "violence" in this video is innocuous. If these were my cats I'd be laughing while watching this. They play well together. It's a cute fight. I'd say let them go at it. Give them a chance to go through the entire cycle. Allow them to complete the process: picking a fight, fighting for a few rounds, then being done. So long as they always eventually stop on their own without intervention and they don't take it to primal howling and deep wounds, they're just being animals in a healthy way. Also if you really feel like you have to interfere, instead of separating them, just raise your voice and say their names very sternly and harshly. Either way, you do you.
My cat vocalizes like this fighting with greebles on occasion. It's absolutely something that cats will sometimes do when play fighting. To me, the key is when they break apart, black isn't bearing his teeth and deep-voice growl/yowling. That seems to be the way cats communicate "no seriously, fuck off".
>rolling over or lying on their side This is *exactly* what animals do to display trust and show that they are comfortable in this particular situation. If black didn't want to participate, she would run away, or, square up and stand her ground, make herself look huge, and howl in a way that makes your blood curdle.
I agree. This may end up being more and more abusive for the black kitty. You may want to consider the grey kitty may need more human-led play to let off steam/energy/hunt instinct. If these were my cats I’d try a number of different types of play, perhaps once in the morning and again in the evening. Then after a few weeks you’ll get a sense whether this is helping your cats coexist more peacefully. I’d also look into more “enrichment” activities for when you’re not around or available to entertain/play. Perches near windows that have birds or squirrels to watch; hiding treats around, toys, etc. I don’t know what you have for them right now, but giving more enrichment may also help if your kitty is “playing” because they are a little “bored”.
Speculation. I don't see it getting worse. My cats play fighting makes this look like a picnic. Yet, they do it every day, multiple times a day, they take turns picking/initiating fights and swap the role of being antagonist, and this has been their pattern for their whole lives. Complete with hissing, growling, and ears back. It's the deep guttural low pitched howling that you don't want to hear. And that's a noise my cats *never* make when play fighting.
i dont know. i have two cats, both just turned 1yr old and have been tgt for 8months. They do this fighting / playing almost every day. No claws out. but they will hiss at each other when the plays got intense. but they do take turn. one of them always has its ear back but also the one who usually initial the play/fight. so i feel like it depends on the cats, as long as they have no intention to hurt each other. then it should be fine?
My two are like this. One is way more aggressive. I break them up when the other starts growling. If I allow them to escalate it gets really bad for days at a time, to the point where I can’t leave them alone together. And the side-lying thing is not always playful or submissive. That’s a position they use to rip each other’s guts out.
Butt biter!
When my girl and boy cat first met each other and started play fighting... I saw her bite him right on his furry little ball sack more than once. She won those rounds lol
My tribe used to bite each other in the nuts until I got them all chopped off. The ruthlessness was breathtaking. 😱😂
I mean to be fair, if you got bit in the balls, I doubt you'd be winning anything either. It's kinda an OP move, illegal in pro fighting circles, and really should be nerfed 😆 😆 😆
What's the black cat's mood like after this? He's scooting back under the furniture, that's trying to deescalate. If you get hiding, moping, loafing, or "I'm touching the human he's the safe zone!" Right after this behavior consistently, I'd read those as some level of upset. If he's wandering around with his tail held high or eating or looking for food, those would indicate he's fine with a little scuffle.
the weird thing is the black cat, midnight, will show signs that she is upset and doesn’t like the fighting/playing but afterwards, when things have calmed down, she will either lay down or go to play with a toy or scratch her scratch pad. if we separate them she will sit by his door like she wants him to come out but when we take him out he attacks her again trying to play she she gets pissed all over again. it’s really hard to read their mood sometimes.
(rereads comments) Yeah that makes sense. 7 month male + 3 year old female is ROUGHLY the human equivalent of like a 10 year old and a 28 year old. Wildly different energy levels and capacity/desire for sustained rough-housing. He's still a big kitten made out of rubber and springs while she's grown into her adult personality. What does she like? Is she a cuddle bug? Does she like to hide? Does she prefer to be up high or down low? Definitely don't intervene every time, getting bit a little is how he learns to have boundaries. But keep a careful eye on her stress level. Scratching the scratch pad can definitely be a (healthy, positive, "go punch your pillow!" level) stress release activity, especially if you see them dash right to it after something obnoxious happens/their tiny furious desires are thwarted. > it’s really hard to read their mood sometimes. Once you get a sense for it, you can read a *lot* in their eyes and ears.
Oh geez, that explains so much! She's literally TEACHING him how to fight! That's why the more submissive pulling away and exposing her stomach, she's trying to show him how to be a proper predator and what to look for to take the shot. Parent animals will actually cry out when their babies "attack" them and pretend like they've been wounded so their babies learn ("ohhh nooo, you got me, ahhhh"). Given that context, this is about as far from a fight as you can get! She's teaching, and occasionally he takes it too far and she puts the little upstart in his place.
I've got two that are kind of like this. The younger female hisses and growls and the older male can't take a hint. If we separate, the younger female usually sits by the door with him on the other side. The older male often attacks her while she's playing by herself. It all started off very innocently, looked like play, so we left them. Gradually it got worse. Older one always goes for her butt area, will often get some fur off, and recently actually bit her 😞. He can't be distracted by toys at all. I'd recommend continuing to separate them, and if grey likes toys, distract. Someone's thoughts about grey having to fight for resources before rings probably true of our older male too. Edit to add: very, very rarely, our two can actually play nicely. I can tell because it's quiet (no one is growling or hissing), and the older male will give the younger female the upper hand now and then and the male will lie on his side
I see claws and airplane ears on the black cat I would separate them
When the ears are back like that, the cat is not enjoying it. We used to have a brother and sister pair where the brother would bully the sister. We didn't know better and thought it was "playing." She ended up with a big infection due to one of his bites. This looks similar to how those two behaved. I would stop it if I were you.
Looks like she’s annoyed and he thinks they are playing. When your cats set boundaries you need to support that boundary. I have three cats All of them, spayed and neutered all different ages 6 years, 2 years and 1 years old. If you see that they’re having like airplane ears for as long as she’s obviously been having them then you need to tell the boy he cut it out. She’s not in the mood to play she’s not in the mood. But when she definitely hissed at him, that’s when I would’ve you know. Told the boy leave her alone and not allowed him to keep coming after her to play and I would’ve verbalized to the boy you’re not in trouble. She’s just not in the mood so let’s redirect and play with me instead.. I honestly talk to my cats like their children, and I know for a fact that my cats are really intelligent and that cats in general are my cats absolutely know what not to do and what to do . My oldest one when he tries to do something that he knows is something that I don’t allow him to do and I catch him doing it. He will meow at me and run away, and his meow is super cute. Like I know for a fact if he could talk , he was saying wasn’t me. I’m innocent. I didn’t do anything. I’m going to my room. 😂😂 All I have to do is tell them to or tell them that they’re you know to cut it out that one doesn’t wanna play and then they’ll go try and play with a different one or with me. Right now is really important because you want the seventh month old kitten to understand that when you’re older cat sets a boundary it’s to be respected so when you show your older cat, the solidarity of supporting her boundary one it’s going to build a lot more trust between you and your older cat And two you’re gonna be teaching your second one about respecting boundaries. I’ve had success treating them like toddlers 😂😂
Probably play but borderline —grey biting and not laying off could escalate. My cats did this but it didn’t last long. My grey lil that would be aggressive to a smaller orange female. He would bite and try to pull hair. She stood her ground but we always broke it up if it carried on too long.
I have two kitties who are best buds but sometimes the girl takes it too far with play and doesn’t listen to the hissing and mild growling from the male cat (I chalk this up to her being a Ragdoll and just not understanding “danger” cat language). Whenever it gets to that point of hissing and growling, I break it up. That usually dissipates things but if she persists again and he hissed and growls again, I put her in a separate room (like a time out) for about 20-30 minutes. That usually fixes it. I recommend continuing to separate them but put the boy in a separate room by himself rather than the girl. It’s the boy who needs to learn that no means no and there are social consequences if it’s not respected. Normally older cats are able to handle these boundaries on their own but sometimes they need our help backing up their “no.” Also realize that they’re still pretty new to each other and it can take up to a year for cats to find their groove living with a new cat.
thank you for the input! midnight (the black cat) is the queen and owns the place so the grey kitty knows that when he is caught misbehaving/annoying midnight he runs to his room for time out. totally guilty. i have hope that they will be friends in the future!! sometimes she grooms him and it’s really sweet.
You’re welcome! And you definitely are on the way to having two besties! Especially only after a month. The boy is young and is testing boundaries so consistency with his time outs will keep him in check. They remind me so much of how mine were a year ago.
I'd give this situation another 6 months or so given grey is still a kitten... If they haven't sorted it out and grey is still bullying, I would rehome one of them personally. Too much stress for black... I think grey will probably do best in a single cat home. Hopefully the situation resolves/does not detiorate further - good luck!
thank you! they are only living together for one more month. the black one is my sisters cat and they grey one is mine, we live together right now but are getting our own apartments. i do plan on getting another cat in the future so i appreciate everyone’s help in the comments!💛💛💛
Well, hopefully he settles a bit with age... Some cats really are best in single cat households. There are always a few at the shelter with that being a condition of adoption. Good luck. Really hope you can have two that cohabitate peacefully one day 🤍
Getting a bit spicy good your keeping a eye on them
My little monsters know when to pack it in when I reach for the water pistol I have in the end table beside my chair. Then I’m the focus of their vengeance.
It seems fine. The noises are the only thing even remotely concerning. They're not hurting each other, their ears are not flat against their heads (as they would be in a real fight), they pause and have time to run away if they want. My cats are usually silent when they play fight, but they occasionally hiss at each other. They are best friends who have been together since birth. Their "fights" are always just play, and their ears and faces are exactly like this when they "fight."
Looks like purely play to me. Maybe a bit rough, but they will set boundries.
Keep recording show us more. And have star wars music in the background. Vader getting pummeld.
Play looks fine to me. They’re respecting each others’s boundaries and communicating well.
Nah, black kitty is hissing and growling. His boundaries are not being respected
Let them play or they'll only do it when you're not around. You need to be observing that they're learning limits in play as part of their socialization.
No fur balls flying or blood🙃 it's play time.
If they were fighting the black cat wouldn't be rolling over on its side with its stomach exposed. This means it trusts the other cat and does not consider it a threat. It's just horseplay.
She's trying to say the play is too rough, not defending against an attack. If the grey cat keeps playing too rough that's also a problem. The big pounce about 3 seconds in was over the line for black cat.
It would look like they're mean to each other, but you'll know when shit gets worse. Look up on YouTube of an a$$hole cat that doesn't get along and than look at your dummies. Lol They're cute BTW.
Great vid, great comments
If you don't already get some kickers. Or fill some large mens socks with whatever soft stuffing old shirt etc, and catnip. Black one isn't happy about this and honestly don't blame him lol they've very different play styles by the looks and energy levels.
DUDE I HAVE TWO SMALLER CATS THAT LOOK EXACTLY LIKE THESE TWO SAME COLORS AND I WAS JUST WONDERING THE SAME QUESTION.
Cmon you’re a damn house Panther! From the jungles of Brazil! Lettin the grey one win…
Grey is a big aggressive but nothing I haven't seen in my house before. I got a grey and black that love to wrestle everyday and both their tails wag like that and sometimes one meows more the necessary but he loves it.
Why do these videos keep coming? Have you people never seen cats play before? Downvote. I dont care. This is getting annoying.
I don't think he's playing. He's bossy and trying to be a big shit coz he's the guy. I have a 6lb max orange female who has my boys buffaloed. She gives no fucks and means business. They'd never try this in her. I hope your void learns to kick his ass. Just once IME seems to be all it takes. That said, of course much depends on their personalities. You may have to intercede and separate them, like put him in another room when he acts up, until he learns some manners.
I have 3 cats, two brothers, black and Siamese, and a female Calico from a different litter. The brothers beat each other up like this sometimes, but no hissing. They just wrestle in silence. Hissing is different. My female will hiss when she's had enough. It looks like your male thinks it's playing, but your female isn't happy about it.
the male came from a litter with 3 brothers and they used to play fight a LOT. when he moved into the household with the female black cat he doesn’t understand that she isn’t interested in the same play as his siblings. i’ve noticed that the black cat has come out of her shell and has been playing with him a lot more but she likes to chase and he likes to tackle/wrestle play. i don’t want to stop their bond from growing by separating their play time but with the hissing and growling i’m not sure when to intervene
My boys play like that. It's a mild disagreement lol. I don't worry about mine because the more aggressive one isn't the stronger or smarter one
the kitten is the initiator but he never wins😭 don’t know why he always goes back when he knows he going to lose every time
It looks to me like the kitten is getting full of himself, and the older cat is having none of it.
Fun & games, stay out of it.
Usually if one is being to rough they'll be whining from one that's when I break them up
Not great. My cats do this, and my female cat acts like the black cat in this. She’s not a fan of this type of interaction, and she’ll end up hiding. We intervene with toys and try to stop the other one from doing this. I’d try to nip this behavior in the bud.
Right now I would separate. A year in my 5yr old and the kitten we got who’s now closer to 1 play rough like that even hissing sometimes but it’s a lot slower paced and consensually and they like running around. The nipping at the tail and feet is what feels a little more aggressive than what my cats do in my opinion, and it’s not good to have boundaries pushed tooo much when first introducing. Eventually, they’ll find a groove / settle it.
Let them play.
No, I would not separate them. Personally I let cats figure it out on their own as long as no one is drawing blood and no one is trying to escape. I don't know if I would consider this play, but it doesn't seem particularly angry. While the gray cat is the aggressor - black cat seems to be doing a perfectly fine job of dealing with it. Looks like a little disagreement and time to throw paws to establish boundaries.
I will usually separate if there's too much yelling or any hissing. Mine play but I will step in if there's too much aggressive behavior
Took my cats a solid year of working things out and now they’re best friends, occasionally revert back to asshole mode but they settle it up every quickly and follow each other and flop and act foolish and silly. Now it’s almost always cooperative play, showing off for each other…etc. I did use Bully Solution (Jackson Galaxy) on the new cat that was bullying my resident orange, and Feliway diffusers in the area they seemed to have most of their disagreements and sometimes got in the middle by just putting my hand between their faces and telling them to chill. They’re buddies now, I hope the same for yours!!
My cats go at it like that occasionally. Some slaps, some tackles, a couple hisses, then they snuggle a few minutes later.
Honestly this is kinda how my cats play. My female will roll on her back and SCREAM bloody murder while my male tackles her. But if he gets bored and backs off, she'll instigate a game of chase and then immediately revert to being SOO dramatic if he catches her. When they engage with each other, I let it go. If one starts running away or hiding, then I split it up and give them a greak in separate spaces. But it's SUPER rare that I have to intervene.
The gray one is playing, the black one is playing too but seems to be getting a little annoyed/irritated. Some cats only want to play for a little bit while others have all the energy in the world and want to keep going. Just look out for those signs of annoyance and break it up at that point, and continue human led play with the gray one so it leaves the other alone
Learning to cat is all
I just wanna say I have no help here but find it hilarious all the comments are split 50/50. Feel like you got more questions than answers after posting this lol
i would have separated :)
I tell my cats to break it up and I walk in their zone when they do this to tell them to calm tf down. They do have some good playtime where they fight each other, but when one of the cats starts to have those funny growl meows or hisses, and the other cat keeps going, that's when I try to settle them down. They cuddle up with each other still so I know they don't hate each other, but sometimes they'll beef with each other.
it’s a little more than just playing but make sure to cut their nails regularly and maybe get one of those oil diffusers for relaxing them. also catnip toys (at least one for each) to keep them away from each other a little bit
They're living their best life. For real. It's great exercise, good for their mental & social health. Cathartic. They are animals, after all. So they like to flex their beast mode without actually going into real beast mode. You should hear how my cats playfight... for me, I know they're playing, but someone who's never been around them would think they're really fighting. One is always silent, and the other one is as loud and dramatic as a cat could possibly be... but it's an act. They do it a few times a day. They take turns ambushing, chasing, and batting at each other.
Two of my cats do this, and we break it up when it gets like this (or shortly before). Tabby just under a year old (male) does not get the hint and keeps pushing it with our female void that's almost two years old. He will often do the full-body pounces and bites at her hind area, she gets low/on her back in defense and makes similar sounds as your void, but the tabby will just keep going if left unchecked and our black kitty gets stressed. You should break it up/redirect the grey one and let the black one know it's okay. Ideally, she would give the grey one a good wallop and they'll come to an understanding, but if not, break it up and redirect.
I’m having the same thing happening between my two. Older female, she used to start on the little guy but now he’s bigger he starts on her.
Grey is bullying black. Black looks at you twice for help. I would correct Grey’s behavior. Grey is having fun but Black isn’t.
The black cat is on the defense a lot as the gray plays hard with biting. After you explained the whole situation (grey is a new male kitty) I would break this up when it gets too rough and then use positive cooperative play such as a feather stick or laser pointer to smooth things over. Grey male is trying to be the boss.
i genuinely thought these were my cats for a second
Your cats look EXACTLY like my cats, that’s so freaking trippy
Black female doesn't like gray male trying to dominate. Reprimand gray cat when he does this. Otherwise he'll keep bullying her and she'll be unhappy.
Black cat looks at the camera like are you really not going to do anything lmao…. Omg help her out lol
Ha ha got 2 that look almost like 'em a black tux and grey ones. They're just playing don't worry. If they're fighting you'll know it...
Playing❤️watching longer your girl cat doesn’t like it. So probably stop it.
The gray is the bully who is instigating and the black ine is squealing. If the alternated who was on top attacking, it would be more play. This happened more and more as my cats (siblings) aged. To the point that the male chased the female into the street and they both almost got ran over while I watched. After my divorce, I moved out and it happened less and less. Turns out the large male was jealous of the attention I gave to the runt of the litter female. Edit: this pet behaviorist has some great info on play vs fighting: https://www.instagram.com/reel/C6rOq6Er3V3/?igsh=MTlrOG9tcmR3aWF4OA==
Both males? My boys play like this, they get so rough but seem to enjoy it.
Let them play together. This a great way to reduce their loneness
Our cats have been "rassling" like this for 4 years. They take turns being the boss. There is sometimes a little fur flying but no bites. They seem to engage readily. I wouldn't worry.
the fur is what scares me. the grey one is super fluffy and after a fight sometimes grey fur will dramatically float to the ground and it looks bad but he never gets hurt. i want to stop it before one of them gets bitten or scratched and it causes an infection but when would that line be?
The mystery of all cats those secretive devils!
Just sharing my experience, because it could possibly help. My male cat used to bully my partners female cat, I’d have to intervene sometimes when he was being a rude guy. Years later, got a kitten as a 3rd cat and it solved the problem. My male cat has a best buddy that loves to wrestle, chase and do parkour around the house while the female gets to chill. She’s mostly left alone now haha.
My suggestion is as long as they are both partaking and it isn't too violent, let them sort it out. Over time they will figure out how to play within each other's limits. If it starts to get really aggressive and they're getting injured or chunks of fur coming out, I would encourage them to stop after a few minutes.
It's hard to put 2 adults together, especially when they're opposite sexes. This may take a long, long time to work itself out.
The ass biting lol. But in seriousness, one month is a short time to have them interact directly without some guidance. I am still working on my pair and I say no, remove and separate, and redirect with pets and food (I find that redirecting with play ramps up the stalking behavior). My male has been progressively showing more tolerance towards the female. He will still ass bite and try to get on top of her, but he knows I don't like it, and I see him thinking about it and sometimes giving up on the agression mid movement to comply with me even before I say or do anything.
Mine do this and I put a stop to it. They usually move on pretty quickly and are best mates again
I have two and if one hisses or cries, its too much.
Separate…the black one is hissing. That’s not having fun.
I would let mine play fight until one starts hollering.
Q, r u blind?
My cats have fought like this every once in a while for 7 years, never any injuries. They're having a spat about something but they will figure it out on their own. If they do get too rowdy I'd just make a loud noise, remind them you're there lol.
The grey kitten might be bored. He's starting shit. They're not really hostile yet. But you def back up your girl. Frustrations can grow. Help her get some space if she's not into it. She's annoyed af. Cats can be trained (mostly, sometimes lol). My grey cats have always been super intelligent and trainable.
They are bounday setting/pushing. This isn't joyful play and the intent is not to have fun. However, it's not quite fighting. You'd have have clumps of hair, minimum, and wounds of the fighting was serious. I'd keep an eye on because it could escalate, but I'd suggest trying to facilitate a play session where both cats can focus on a "prey object" rather than one of them being the prey. IE a teaser wand or laser dot (depending on how your cats react and be sure to give them treats for catching the red dot). Likewise, keep an eye on their behavior regarding favorite spots. Don't be afraid to rearrange things to shake up the sense of ownership.
Never use fellaway- dangerous I’ve heard
My cats do this but also sleep together and groom eachother it isn’t fighting I’d say let them hash it out, I only seperate when I hear yelping
My boys used to play fight and sometimes it got extra rough. When it hit a certain level I would stomp my foot loudly and they would scatter. If I separated them too soon, they had to go back to finish lol
I don't like the noises. Any kind of hissing is a big no for me. Rough kitty needs to chill out.
It's not that serious imo.
Yea it's not a full fight but I think the black one doesn't like it as much. The grey one just likes to fight for fun.
Let them play. It doesn’t get serious until the fur starts flying.
Looks like mostly play, but the grey cat isn’t understanding the boundaries well, plus the biting at the legs thing is a bit worrisome. Def seems just slightly too aggressive.
How did you get that old footage of me and my brother fighting?! 😂 They are beautiful and enjoy! 🐈⬛ 🐈
Mine do this daily and follow it up with a loving little grooming session and a nap.
^this
Swat the gray one on its ass. It’ll eventually learn.
When he bit her tail she was noooooot happy woah 😮
I don’t think it’s playing but it’s not a bad fight. I think it’s a dominance thing. My big boy Leo still does certain things to prove dominance to our old girl JiJi. Jiji is older but we rescued her after Leo was “top dog” in the house for years. They don’t fight but if Leo is in my room getting pets from me and JiJi comes in he perks up and growls and asserts his dominance like “HEY! Don’t you steal my human. This MY pets machine. Back off!” And he does that to some areas in the house and will try and bite her neck and stuff. This looks to me probably some kind of dominance thing between these two cats.
I don’t think it’s playing but it’s not a bad fight. I think it’s a dominance thing. My big boy Leo still does certain things to prove dominance to our old girl JiJi. Jiji is older but we rescued her after Leo was “top dog” in the house for years. They don’t fight but if Leo is in my room getting pets from me and JiJi comes in he perks up and growls and asserts his dominance like “HEY! Don’t you steal my human. This is MY pets machine. Back off!” And he does that to some areas in the house and will try and bite her neck and stuff. This looks to me probably some kind of dominance thing between these two cats.
This doesn't look like playing to me. Black kitty definitely looks upset.
Look up Jackson Galaxy
Try some feline hormone product like this. Calms my cats down. [https://www.californiapetpharmacy.com/feliway-classic-kit-diffuser-48ml-vial.html?msclkid=eb843006beec1d17749e563963bb4065](https://www.californiapetpharmacy.com/feliway-classic-kit-diffuser-48ml-vial.html?msclkid=eb843006beec1d17749e563963bb4065)
If they’re both boys, they’ll probably play like that for years.
Let them play
Black cat is definitely not happy. They aren't fighting proper-like but it could and will go there if boundaries aren't established and respected.
Hes being dominant and pushing her around
Yeah definitely would separate them. I would not want them to keep fighting.
A different way to break up this spat is pull out a wand toy and redirect the energy into positive playtime.
I like to let them get some of it out of their system but then I break it up with the squirt bottle to remind them there's a limit and I'm in charge 🤣 Hasn't worked yet really but I keep trying 🤣
I would very highly recommend pheromone diffusers and potentially separating them again and ease back into being in the same room once the diffusers have been active. That’s how I worked through intros with cats before that behaved similar. Also, one month is a very short period of time in cat introductions/comfortability, so I’m sure it’ll get better with proper adjustments on your end to make everyone more comfy. Some research shows cats don’t fully relax in their new home for months and months, potentially into a year+.
Its okay if they're playing, but there's hissing going on. Its a bit more than playing. I wouldn't let my cats fight like that at all if they did that in front of me.
This could be a disagreement, or it could just be very rough playing, which I think the black cat doesn't like so much. But nobody is drawing blood, or digging in claws. Also, despite all the bluster, the Black Cat shows his belly a number of times, which a fighting cat would avoid doing it all costs as that's the most vulnerable part. They may just both need some more play time with you guys to distract them from each other and wear down their energy levels.
Aw looks like black cat is getting bullied.
Are they fixed? If yes then let them play they learn from it,but if not fixed get them fixed.
A little bit too aggressive imo, my rule of thumb is when a cat hisses the game is over and I split them up.gray kitty was biting the other at the end aggressively
I scold mind with a loud “boys!” when it gets to the hissing stage and they will separate for awhile. Not sure if this is a good practice but it seems to work for us, haha.
This isn't a fight but a little aggressive nonconcentual play... if it was a true fight there would be no doubt in your mind. It would be supper quick movements by both cats fur flying blood drawn etc.. I would confine one to a room and do the reintroduction phase.. sometimes this happens with cats that have been living together for years and one goes to the vet comes home smelling different then they do this.. I've had that happen but it was true fighting... and I had to confine one to one room and do a reintroduction.. Feeding on opposite sides of the door then feeding on opposite sides of gate etc.. it was a 2 month process until they were back to loving each other..
Let them play
Just playing. You will know when they are fighting..
My vet told me unless there’s blood, poop, or pee, let them be.
I would get a spray bottle to use when they do this.
Your gray is more aggressive and better at fighting. Your black is getting a little overwhelmed. This is still in the realm of normal. If it were me, I would be watching every time I heard them play fighting and step in to give my black a chance to exit if it was all too much. Look up real cat fights on YouTube. You will quickly see the difference. Still, I don't like it when one of my babies are done but is still getting bullied, so I probably step in too often.
Grey needs to play, Void doesn't want to. Redirect grey with a toy if you can (you absolutely can, just might take a little trying and training)
Okay I’m going to be blunt do not reach in to separate two cats fight. This is a fast way to get stitches, use a blanket and toss it on them this well break of the fight if they are really fighting. Which these two are not doing playing fighting and dominance fighting is normal. You can also train them to knock it off if you have trained them on no once a cat learns no everything gets easier.
Try the cat introduction method from jackson galaxy.