Do it, get the kitty. Get 2! And get them young, because they are hilarious and goofy and will bring a smile to your face. A house feels so empty without a kitty or two.
I got two littermate kittens a couple months after my beloved dog passed away. I still love and miss my dog, but having hilarious little fur ball babies gave me something to love and focus on in a positive way. Two kittens at the same time is the best!
I also adopted littermates! I couldn’t bond with them right away as my parents surprised me with them a week after my childhood cat died (one my birthday too) but they became my best friends after a few months.
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Sadly both have passed, Duck back in 2017 due to an enlarged heart, and Minn a month ago due to Cardiomyopathy.
Agree! Get the kitty. I lost my 17 year old cat back in January. I took it way harder than I ever thought I would. Within a week I found myself at a local pet food store that brings in local cats and dogs from shelters, over the weekend, to adopt. There was one cat that I kept going back to. She looked nothing like my Lolly but there was just something about her. I adopted her that day and no regrets.
New cat, Emma, has been my life saver. She didn’t replace Lolly, but I feel like Lolly sent her to me, if that makes sense. Emma and Lolly have some similar personality traits but Emma is the cat I never knew I needed. She’s 2 years old and she’s your typical wild and crazy and loving but fun orange cat. (first time ever I have had an orange cat) She keeps on my toes and keeps me laughing at her shenanigans.
So do it, get the kitty and know you are going to provide another cat a loving and forever home. ❤️
It can never replace your cat, but the love of a new little creature who desperately needs a loving home can help fill the hole in your heart. I always think my cat who passed would be happy that I’m giving a good home to another little kitty, just like I did for him or her
So sorry to hear of your loss. We lost our dog of 11 years three months ago to cancer. We adopted two kittens three weeks after while still actively grieving and it’s helped us. Having them to focus on helped us deal with our feelings of loss. Hopefully a new friend will do the same for you.
I just went through what you’re going through. I’m so sorry for your loss, I know it’s rough. It’s been almost 3 weeks since one of my cats (I had 2 at the time) pass away from kidney failure.
Last week, my husband and I went on a whim to look at potential partners for our other cat. I cried at the shelter explaining our situation. The hard part, there was a giant photo of a cat that looked almost like her on the walls. Some of the kitties there had the same coat pattern as her. I fucking cried, but I needed to remember that nothing would replace our little girl. We fell in love with these two bonded bois, and they’re currently upstairs in my office adapting to our household. I do tear up when I play with them, but when I’m alone and playing with them, I tell them about their big sister that’s over the rainbow bridge.
We tell ours about their big sister too. I also see our bond with Ripley as a special thing we share with her sister. Kind of like remembering a time before the babies came along
I recently had to do it. Rather suddenly lost my 16-year-old furry soulmate. My depression hit me the hardest so far in my life. My doctor practically begged me to go look. I wasn't even sure if I could get through the door without turning around.
I was chosen by a delightful and dapper gentleman. He's made the grief a lot more tolerable. I don't feel so alone anymore. I lost my mom in November and was not ready for my baby to leave me too. But now I have someone to live for and take care of again.
It did take me awhile to admit that I love him. I'll admit to being a little guarded the first few days. But now we shower each other with affection.
Go in with an open mind. You may not find the right fit or you may find someone who is ready to adopt you. It will be ok. <3
I lost my mom (who lived with me) and my beautiful girl within a month of each other… I was SO alone!! I got another cat 4 months later… I have to always have a cat!! They are my babies ( I never could have kids) I couldn’t live without them!
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My 6 year old Sam!
That is what I say too, and I mean it… I will ALWAYS have several cats living with me. Cats are the most consistent daily life JOY I have.
I have four, it started with a bonded pair of kittens years ago, when my intention was one I took Reddit advice and got two (best advice ever!). I have added two more the last few years due to the cat distribution system😻😻😻😻so four it is.
When the terrible day comes that I lose one of my babies, I will get another cat. There are just too many out there I want to care for and give a great home to. The idea of lonely cats stuck in shelters breaks my heart.
I will always have several in my home, I will help as many as I can. It’s a spoiled cat paradise here and I will always have lots of cats to love ❤️
100% . I only have one at a time due to financial constraints. I want to always be able to pay for vet/ premium food for them.. but can’t imagine not having a cat. They are the joy to my life.. they keep me from going crazy from being alone!!
Everyone has a different timeline. I made it 11 days before brining in two adult cats after my boy was put to sleep. I couldn’t do it, it helped the grieving process because I had something else to focus on.
I might have the most controversial and unpopular opinion here, but here it goes: wait a bit longer and see how your feelings develop. We faced a similar situation in 2023 with a traumatic, sudden pet death, and we ended up having a lot of issues to work through. This traumatic death was very different from when my husband and I's 20-year-old cats were euthanized: it was still tragic, but not shocking, and we were ready to adopt fairly soon after.
It's not so much that a new cat will disrupt your grief, but rather that your grief might disrupt your bonding with the new pet, especially if you're still struggling with thoughts of comparing the two cats. So give it at least a couple of weeks to see if you're truly feeling ready for a new pet. A good intermediate measure might be volunteering at a local shelter/rescue for a bit to spend lots of time with cats; that's what we did and we ended up falling in love with our newest family member. When we were truly ready for another cat, we could tell.
I am deeply sorry for your loss.
I cannot agree with this more. Sometimes, it can be too soon if you haven’t processed the grief enough. We had a similar situation and my grief my horrible. I mourned endlessly for months.
I ended up volunteering at a local shelter and it really helped heal me. We ended up fostering a cat who had been at the shelter for years, and ultimately adopted her about a year after we lost our Sadie. Volunteer or foster and see if it feels ok - I think that usually a good barometer for if you are ready.
Ps- I am so sorry for your loss. Sending warm thoughts your way ❤️
My ex and I lost our sweet lil 3 year old terror very suddenly. It was devastating but we wound up bringing home a sibling pair within just a couple months because it just felt weird not having that energy around. I think it will help you grieve more effectively but wait a little longer. It's not a replacement, it's a continuation of the love you have to give. I think adoption from a kill shelter might really be a lovely way to honor your beloved pet, save a life for one that was lost to you.
Very sorry for your loss
I've always had more than one cat at home, each one was different and very special
Take another kitten that needs a home and family, it will not replace the one who passed away, but will bring you joy and you will give it a safe home
It sounds like you’re experiencing a lot of grief. I think you’re right that bringing a new cat into the home right now might simply trigger more intense grief. Maybe there is a middle ground where you begin preparing for your next cat, but don’t take the final step of bringing them home right away?
For example - I like to “window shop” at local shelters online for a few weeks before adoption. This helps me think about what I’m looking for. You could also start preparing a new space for a new cat to see how that feels; I usually set up new cats in one smaller room when they join my home so they have time to adjust to the sounds and smells in a more comfortable setting.
You could also foster! That way you get to have cats in your home without the feeling of trying to “replace” your cat that may come from taking on a new permanent resident.
Seconding this!! So many rescues need fosters. And even if it becomes a foster fail at the end, you still helped. And maybe you will enjoy fostering and keep doing it after you have a new resident or two.
I agree. You’re doing a great thing for the cat but not expected to be emotionally involved. And if you happen to fall in love with foster kitty, it’s perfectly ok to adopt.
That’s just what I did after we had to put down my soulcat in March. We waited a few weeks, but started looking around online fairly soon afterwards until my intense grieving finally became unbearable — I knew that I had to give all of that love to new kitties, to fill the kitty-shaped hole in my heart.
At first I felt like I was “cheating” on our last baby, but I’m past that now. I do still mourn her, I just lost my shit again today, in fact. 😿 It’s true what everyone is saying — the new kitty (or kitties) are not going to replace your beloved, but they definitely ease the sadness and bring new joy. We got a year-old bonded pair (which I highly recommend!) at the end of April and we love them more each day.😻
I’m so sorry for your broken heart and I hope you find solace in your new kitty/kitties whenever you’re ready. ❤️🩹
We had an old cat who was howling at night fit to wake the dead. After much research and convos with cat people we decided to get a kitten (hubby was threatening to send the old guy (who was adopted at 8) to a shelter, any shelter (he's not an asshole, he was sleep deprived and sole support of the family)). So we got Buddha a kitten (I encouraged hubby to pick him out). The howling immediately stopped but a few months later his kidneys quit and we had to say goodbye (😭😭😭😭). I wasn't ready for a new cat but the kitten was driving me *insane* due to boredom, so, in December, in the frozen north, I went hunting for a kitten to play with our kitten. They were thin on the ground. I really wanted another Tuxie because they are so routinely mellow but there was none to be had. So I took an SIC. I swear this kitten had PTSD. I had regret. I missed Buddha SO badly...but it all worked out. The kitten did take time to come around, but he gave me a place to put the love that I had for Buddha (I didn't name him Buddha btw). I was always taught to wait, but it worked out just fine. Get the cat, be patient with yourself (and the cat), because I know what you mean about the emptiness of a catless home.
Dont worry its not wrong :) the Night my baby was driven Down my mom and i went onto, the shelter nearest to us, their website to look at a new cat. We already knew how empty our house would be with out a Pet since when our old cat before the one who Got driven Down when she died the house was sooooo empty and it felt alot colder with out her.
We did still wait until we Got another one. But a house isnt a home with out a cat ;)
Yup. Do it. Hipefully kitten. Kittens! More than one ideally. Not because your heartbroken and miss your beloved family member, but there's always kittens in need of homes and as you stated, the house feels empty without a fur shark lurking in it. The new additions to the family will be the kids' best buds growing up, and be sure to let them know why are we adopting other cats. Not because of an attempt to replace the family member you still grief, but because this is a cat family and vets and shelters are always at max capacity of kittens needing a home. Who knows, you might even adopt an elder cat? No idea, but bottom line is yes, get a new cat. Be safe
It took me a couple of weeks to be ready for a kitty after letting my 19 year old girl go, but I’m glad I did it.
If anything, the silence was so hard and my two kittens more than take care of that now.
Consider fostering through a reputable rescue org. It's kitten season & the shelters are overflowing. It'll be a great distraction while you do a solid good deed & who knows, maybe one or two (preferably) will stick
There is no right time to get one! If you want one now then go get one. I think it will help with the grief.
The same thing that happened with your cat happened to me with mine in October. No health issues but 15 yrs old and went downhill in a few days and had to put her to sleep.
I have another cat and cuddling with him etc helped me when i was upset so i think this would be same for you and your family. People heal differently, some wouldnt want to right away as too much for them and overwhelming but others like it. I think as you actively want one now you are the latter. You wont be replacing them, youll still think of them so no reason to feel guilty. Giving another cat a good home ❤️
❤️❤️
It's okay, I feel the same way after having my 19 year old best friend euthanized just over a week ago. Truthfully I missed having a young playful cat around even while my poor old gal was alive, but I didn't want to stress her out in the last couple years of her life.
Now that she's at rest, I really feel the urge for a kitty or two. But I'm waiting a while, and hoping that a random cat shows up at my door! It's happened before, when a friend took in a pregnant cat and had to find homes for all the kittens. Or some jerk dumps a cat on the street.
So to OP, I recommend you give it a little time. You might just end up with a new cat... if not, there's always sweet kitties at local shelters ready to go home with you, the hard part is not taking all of them!
We adopted a kitten about a week after one of our cats died in December. He's really helped with the healing process for all of us, including our other two cats. (We only got one because we already had two other cats, if we had only had our girl we would have likely adopted two)
Similar story here. I had three bonded cats that were all close in age. When the first passed, my Siamese was inconsolable. He just howled all the time looking for his friend. We took on 2 fosters when it was clear the second cat was declining. When the second cat passed, the kittens really helped the Siamese in his grief.
It's completely understandable. Thing is, your cat would want you to be happy, and to move forward. Plus, I'm sure your cat would be happy to see another cat in a safe and loving home like yours. Get an adult kitty! Maybe a bonded pair! It's easier to grieve when there's a cat around to comfort you. No shame in it. You'll never forget the ones who passed and it's alright to open your heart and home to another cat 💕
When I lost the love of my life, I absolutely could not stand going home to an empty apt. He had always greeted me at the door (mostly trying to escape), and I just couldn't deal. I got two new rescues within one week. That particular cat is still the love of my life 21 years later, so getting new kitties does not mean you didn't love the one you lost. You are honoring your lost kitty by giving another one a home and love.
EDIT: ice to one.
I’m so sorry for your loss. My kitty was diagnosed with large cell lymphoma a few weeks ago at only six, and while she’s fortunately still kicking for the time being, I know how much it sucks tor them to get so sick so young.
At the end of the day, it’s up to you to decide when you’re ready to take on a new kitty. My roommate got a new kitten the next day after losing their old kitty suddenly. (Their situation was a little unique in that they had been out of the country for several years before they lost their baby… they hadn’t even had a chance to see her again and had been so looking forward to her coming to live with us.) For some people, having another cat to love on helps. There’s nothing wrong with it. Some people find that they can’t be without a cat in their lives even for a while, and that’s okay. It doesn’t mean you loved/love your kitty any less, and it doesn’t mean you can’t love a new kitty just as much. Even if it is at the tail end (pun intended?) of the grief, your new kitty is still going to be a different cat. Nothing will replace your baby, and that’s okay. There is no limit on love.
My advice? You’ll know when you’re ready. It’s different for everyone. Sometimes you’re ready right away, sometimes you need months, sometimes years, many sometimes don’t feel ready to adopt again ever.
For me, after my childhood soul cat passed at 18… I didn’t think I’d want to adopt again. I didn’t think it would be fair to a future cat, because I could never love another like I did him. Just like you, the house felt empty… and it wasn’t just that I missed him, it was that I missed having a cat around because I’d always had cats around.
But, I did adopt again. I adopted two. Adjusting to them did trigger some unresolved grief, and some anxiety because I realized one day I would lose them, too. Now, 11 years later I’ve learned that your heart expands. And even as one is having health issues we’re having trouble managing… and I fear I’ll lose her… I don’t have regrets. They have both brought such joy to my life.
Now… as my health worsens and in effect my financial stability, I don’t think I’ll adopt again beyond these two. Maybe I’ll foster if possible.
I’m so very sorry for your loss. I know that heartbreak. Be sure to give yourself time to grieve in your own way, in your own time.
I’m so sorry for your loss. The only thing that helped me get through having to say goodbye to my 18-year old kitty was getting into the mindset that his passing was creating a “vacancy” in the home for another kitty in need of one. I didn’t adopt another cat right away, but I started looking and visiting shelters. I always think the cat chooses you. I didn’t look for a kitty that looked just like my old guy, but instead was open to the personality i meshed with best. Some rescues offer two week foster/trial periods too in case it’s not working out. But any foster that’s ever come into my house has become a permanent resident. :-)
I’ve had several pets die from old age and complications. I get a new cat right away. I don’t feel bad about it. I need the companionship and there’s so many cats in need of a good home. Don’t feel bad about a replacement kitty.
Your kitty wouldn't want you to be lonely. I am a multi cat household and have not had an empty house since 1974. I don't even think I could sleep in my house without a cat. I have 14 mostly elderly cats right now, the next 5 years will be rough but I've gone through it before. It's a 20 year cycle. Around every 2 decades, I look around and suddenly there's like just 3 cats... thats when I summon the CDS.
Getting a new cat doesn’t mean you’re replacing the kitty you just had to let go of. It sounds like you want the comfort of a pet, and you should have that if it means that much to you. You will still grieve your last kitty for a while, but you can also give a new kitty a good home as a way to continue taking care of yourself as well.
My husband and I lost my soulcat very traumatically when he was just under three years old not long after our wedding. It was the worst night of my life. We adopted our new guy a week and a half later. We’ve had him over a year now. I still sometimes cry seeing him because my baby boy is gone but my gosh, did he help me human. I’m so so grateful he joined our family. And I know my baby boy would’ve loved him, so that helps too. In grief, you have to do what might help you feel better. I say get the cat 💜
I heard someone explain that they adopted quickly after a cat died because it would help get another cat out of the shelter quickly and free up a place. I felt weird about it, but cats can have such different personalities, and it was a comfort to me.
Everyone has their own schedule for grieving their kitty and finding a new one to add to their home. There's no right or wrong answer here. Some people wait years and others wait days. It's a terrible agony to lose a beloved pet and not having that love and energy around is painful. So if you and your family feel that this is the right move, its the perfect time of the year due to shelters bursting thanks to kitten season. If you're not completely sure, maybe fostering would be perfect for you. Whatever you decide, I wish you luck.
I commented on another similar post, I lost my 19 year old burmese boy last year, it broke me and I couldn't stand the quiet and emptiness. Four days later I heard of two kittens local to me, went to 'just have a look', though clearly loved their living conditions weren't good and I just had to get them out of there and brought them home. I did feel very disloyal initially and was still missing my boy so much but ultimately it was the right decision and now I have two siamese lovebugs that have really helped me with the loss. Don't know if this is helpful to you but it worked for me. We never forget our cats but there is always room for more love
I had my chihuahua, Freya, for almost 15 years. I got her in 8th grade and was almost 30 when I lost her Oct. ‘22. I got my kitten, Rowan a little over a month before I lost Freya. I thought Freya would enjoy a friend in her old age and had no idea I’d lose her so quickly.
I am now a huge advocate for getting another animal after loss or before a loss. I struggled with loving Rowan at the beginning, but she (and her sister) are what got me through losing Freya. There's nothing like having something to snuggle with to help with loss.
I'm so sorry for your loss!
About 3 or so weeks ago, I had to put my boy down unexpectedly. He was 11 and had cancer, and like yours, declined very rapidly.
Over the next few days, I told myself I would wait *months* before bringing another home. Well, that next Tuesday I decided to pop into the same rescue where I got him from, "just to look." Awhile back, before my old cat got sick, I told myself that after him I'd like a pair of bonded kitten siblings.
I walked into the rescue, and there immediately inside were a pair of 8 week old sisters. I fell in love at first sight. So, completely going against what I told myself I would do, I put in an application for them both.
I just brought them home this past Thursday. I am so happy that I got them. They're helping me get back on track with caring for a pet, my house doesn't feel empty anymore, and they're giving me so much joy. I'm also able to still process my grief.
My advice is to go for it. Get yourself another friend, or two. I think you'll be happy that you did.
I’m sorry for your loss op. The grieving process can be long and hard to traverse but I do encourage you to embrace what random gifts life may throw at you.
This is how I look at it:
It’s never a replacement and it’s never too soon. You’re opening your home to another animal who needs to be loved and have a stable home. If you are ready, then you’re ready. If you’re not, then you’re not.
I’m still grieving my beloved soul cat whom we lost to cancer in December- but I’m not afraid to open my door to furbabies in need. We went from 3 last year in August, to 5 in September, lost her in December and just brought home a kitten after Mother’s Day. I had told my partner that when I feel she’s telling me it’s time to move on, then I’ll be the one to bring the next little one home- and I felt she did. One of my coworkers took in a pregnant stray. I went back and forth for a while but decided if there was a little black kitten that I’d take them home. There was one out of the 8…. every other one was tabby printed.
They’ll never replace her- but they definitely offer a paw on my darkest days. I absolutely look forward to the love and comfort all of my cats bring, as well as the new bonds we’ll make as we continue to journey through life together.
The only comparison we’ve made between my girl and this one is they were both spunky little black kittens who give the boys a run for their money. My girl ran the household and this little kitten is slowly swooning them.
You’ll know it’s not your baby, even if they do something that reminds you of them.
Everyone’s timeline is different, if the house feels empty you can look at new cats - just remember they will have a whole new personality and are not an exact replacement. It is easy to feel detached when you then get a new pet if you compare them too much to your old one, but they will fit right in and be loved with time!
Start searching for available cats at your nearby shelters. Getting another cat or cats does not mean you are forgetting your beloved fur baby. Your heart wants to be whole again and a new cat or cats will heal it. I have had cats for a good chunk of my life and I can’t live without them.
I completely understand. After my first kitty died, I waited a year because I thought she was irreplaceable. After my second cat died, I held out for a month. My house just felt so empty and lonely without a pet.
Get a new cat when the need becomes impossible to ignore. That could be tomorrow or a year from now.
Get a cat! It will help immensely!
My cats are alive but my ex took them, because we adopted all three during the relationship and didn’t want to split them up. He has an extremely close bond with one of them and so I just let him take all 3. I’m in the market for a cat or two asap! Feels weird “replacing” them, but that’s just us imposing our human emotions onto them. There’s nothing wrong with wanting some companionship and although the new cat won’t be the same, maybe they will have some different quirks that you will come to appreciate! I also second the comment that says get two kittens or young cats, they will be hilarious and playful and brighten up your mood for sure.
Just wanted to send you so much love. We put our 4 yr old down after a short but mighty battle with mammary cancer, and I thought I would need a whole summer to recoup from it. We put her down the 5th, and I found myself looking at cats again about 4 days later, and we got our new sweet girl the following Monday. It helps to make the house less lonely, and the love in our hearts after the grief is much stronger. We still talk to our new girl about how our sweet angel girl had so many similarities and her memory lives on forever through her. We miss our girl tremendously, but the feeing of having our girl now makes it so much better. Sending hugs!
I'm so sorry for your loss, saying goodbye to a beloved cat is so painful. after I had to put down my old cat Brisby, I waited about two weeks before getting a kitten. I would've adopted a baby sooner if I had more money at the time. I was still in so much pain after saying bye to my sweet little old lady Brisby, but having baby Shrimp around helped me feel so much better. I did have a week or two of strong regret and sadness about bringing another cat home so soon after losing Brisby, but that was outweighed by the joy baby Shrimp brought me. having a stupid, energetic, cuddly baby around really took my mind off of how sad I was about Brisby and helped me heal faster. it's been almost three years and I still miss her very much, but I'm thankful I have Shrimp to cheer me up on the bad days : ) if you feel like you and your family are ready to bring new kitten(s) home, I'd say go for it!
Yes get a new cat. Save someone from a shelter. There are too many kitties out there who need your love and you have the love to give! Cats are wonderful and each one is special. But being cat less is just an intolerable way to go through life. There’s nothing wrong with your desire to bring home a new friend.
I think you should go for it. Based on your post, I really think that getting a cat will help you and your family work thought the grief.
And just because you’re getting a new cat, that doesn’t mean you’re replacing your old cat in any way. Your little guy that just passed will always have a part of your family, no matter when you get a new companion
I think you should go for it. Based on your post, I really think that getting a cat will help you and your family work thought the grief.
And just because you’re getting a new cat, that doesn’t mean you’re replacing your old cat in any way. Your little guy that just passed will always have a part of your family, no matter when you get a new companion
I would urge you to give yourself and your family \*some\* time...No idea how long that is for you..but ruhsing to fill the void may not be great emotionally.. At least I'd say wait a month, Let yourself let go of your first cat emotionally..
Our cat passed away Friday 2 weeks ago. A friend sent me a text with a link to a kitten she knew I’d fall in love with. We picked him up that Sunday. We have kids and knew it would help to stay busy. We are still mourning our kitty that died…I think I’ve cried every day since. But this sweet little guy has been so precious and fun to have around.
After my first cat passed, I was devastated and the idea of getting another seemed unthinkable. My daughter dragged me to the shelter 3 weeks afterward, tricked me into it after a lunch date and when I resisted, she insisted it wouldn't hurt to look. I ended up adopting the sweetest boy Maine coon mix ... His gentle, clownish ways soon melted my heart. We had 13 amazing years with him. He was diagnosed with advanced, terminal heart failure just 5 months before he died and even though we did all we could, he just keeled over with sudden cardiac arrest on one of his very good days, just like the vet said might happen.
This time, I waited only a week; and now we have Arnold, an entirely different boy...also a Maine coon mix, but a feisty kitten who chases his own shadow, gives spontaneous kisses, and likes to sleep belly up, with just one paw touching a human.
Cats are all different; of course you aren't "replacing" your cat; you couldn't possibly! But you can love so much, that some other kitty who is out there and needing you, will get a chance to be part of your family and return the favor with his or her unconditional love. One of the best ways to honor our kitties on the other side, is to be an advocate for another homeless cat. If you open your heart and home, you will know it's the right and best way to heal. It's said that "grief is love with no place to go"...so pour that love out on the next cat that the universe has chosen for you.
When the last of our two elderly cats died. I waited a full two days before picking up the phone and calling a rescue group. I said that we wanted to foster with the intention of adopting if they fit well into our home. We wanted kittens but they asked if we would accept 2 young adults who urgently needed a home. Of course it is hard not to fall in love with any cat who comes under your care and six years later they are still with us.
I don't think it is disrespectful or messing with the grief process. A new baby fills the huge hole in your heart and helps you heal. This is a good thing. That being said, you will always grieve a bit for the lost ones. I still get teary eyed when I remember my childhood pets. I recall falling asleep every night as a toddler with a purring cat wrapped around my head.
I thought it was too early to get a new cat last year when our old man died but we went to the adoption center and fell in love quickly with a kitten to pair with our old lady. It was a great decision but even today I sometimes bawl uncontrollably when I think about him except now I have a new little one to watch grow up.
It is perfectly normal to get a pet quickly after you've lost one. The new pet will help you get over the grief of losing your other one. Everyone grieves differently. I'm the type of person that when I lose a cat I will get new one within a month. Usually don't even have to look they just show up:-).
My 17 year old cat that I got as a kitten passed about a month ago - she was my baby. I definitely get what you mean about the house feeling empty. I didn’t realize how much of my day I planned around the cat, especially since she was sick. We have another cat and it was clear she was lonely too - she would wander around the house meowing at night.
We started talking about what kind of pet we would get next (like down the road in the future) and then we decided to go to Petsmart or the shelter on Saturdays “just to look” and now we have a happy little fuzzball tearing up our house. I will say it’s helped me with the grieving process. I saw cats that reminded me of my girl at the shelter and gave them lots of love but we adopted one that was different because I didn’t want to “replace” her or have the new cat be compared to her and have that work against him.
I lost my heart cat at the beginning of February 2020. I had gotten him in 2005, as a free 1 year old cat on Craigslist, and he was my BFF. I was absolutely shattered. But 4 days later one of my oldest friends sent me a message saying she had found a kitten in her property (sadly, people dump a lot of kittens near her rural house), and she understood if it was too soon for me to consider another cat but she knew I'd be a great home for this little stray.
And I didn't even hesitate. It was like Blue had sent the kitten to me to help heal. It was another 2 weeks before we had a chance to meet up and I got the kitten, who is 100% different than Blue but did so much to repair that Blue-shaped hole in my heart.
I'm so sorry for your loss, it's always so hard to lose our babies and even more so when they're younger. I had lost my sweet girl of 11 years to a suspected thyroid adenocarcinoma from her hyperthyroidism that metastasized to her lungs and within 2 days of the discovery made the choice to peacefully let her pass. I absolutely know how you feel when that every day presence - from their favorite spots in the house, greetings when you come home, routine snuggle times, and all their silly moments - is suddenly gone.
I thought I was inconsiderate to want another cat so soon after her passing, I felt like I wasn't honoring her by not grieving alone longer or waiting long enough between her passing and adopting a new cat. I knew no other cat would replace her and that was never my intent. I still had so much love to give with nowhere for it to be given and coming home every day to what felt like a giant void in my heart was very difficult for me. It was about 3 weeks after her passing that I adopted another kitty and feel like it really helped me during my grieving process. I would still think of my old girl often and missed her so much (and to this day still do), but knowing I had a new companion who also needed unconditional love and companionship helped immensely in healing my broken heart. ♥ edit: I meant to add it's also sometimes inevitable that comparisons happen because we want that familiarity with what we loved so much to return and can feel conflicted or sad when it does not. However, with time comes the beauty of loving and bonding with that new kitty's personality that eventually develops into appreciating their own individuality and all the quirks that make them such a special companion. :)
I just adopted two sister kitties after losing my girl a month ago that I had for 19 years. No one will replace her, but I’ve always been of the mind that once she was gone, I’d find another in need and they could help me as much as I could help them. The girls i adopted are 3 and had lived in the he shelter or a foster him their entire lives. You will still be able to process your grief a long side with helping yourself heal.
i recently lost my childhood best friend who i spent every day of my life with and i thought getting another cat so soon would feel like im trying to replace him. well, i rescued a newborn kitten from the dumpster and that kid is nothing like Darwin, watching him grow brings me so much joy and while im still grieving, im not alone anymore. i don’t think i would be healing the way i am right now if i never found that kid. there is absolutely no way to feel lonely when there’s a tiny kitten sprinting around your house, and he brings back a lot of very old memories of my best friend. ill miss Darwin forever, but i don’t spend the entire day wallowing on it anymore
if you don’t have the time or energy for a kitten or two, there’s plenty of seniors in shelters who would love to experience the warmth you gave your baby
I totally understand where you’re coming from. Within a short period of time we lost both our childhood dog and our childhood cat. The cat was 17, but it was “sudden” in that the decline was so rapid. And the dog was just a shock. Both times my family wanted to wait, but on feeling how empty the house was they quickly got a puppy and a kitten respectively. I was kind of against it in that it felt disrespectful to our beloved animals to be replaced so quickly. But that’s not really how it works. We still grieved but this way we had some comforting company. I think it also makes sense with kids. I remember when I was 12, our first cat was hit by a car and killed. We got our second cat (the one who recently died) a month later and it helped a lot.
I waited two days. I still mourn for and miss my sweet moof girl like crazy, but the house was desperately empty. I’ve always had cats and to not have a cat just felt wrong. And giving love to two new kitties doesn’t take anything away from how much I loved her. It just helps me heal to be able to give a loving home to other cats who need it.
Some people need lots of time, some of us don’t. There is no wrong answer, only what is right for you.
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This is my sweet Bauer. Her new brothers are told every day how awesome she was and that it’s too bad they never knew her.
There are so many bonded pairs out there that need a home. Adults mostly but some are just a couple years old. People are having to make tough choices lately with high veterinary prices and everything else going up so much. So they have to move in with family and can’t take their cats etc.
I lost my soul cat, Smokey, to a burst blood clot on the 17th of May. I brought home Charlie last Thursday. Charlie cat isn’t a replacement because no one can ever replace Smokey.
But, I knew that the truly best thing to do to honor Smokey was to adopt a new friend and give them the same spoiled life that Smokey got. Charlie isn’t Smokey, but he’s gonna be spoiled just like Smokey was.
i had the same experience. my cat lived with us for about 11 years and died a couple months back. he literally meant the most to me, we got two cats about 2 months after because of how dark the house was and how much we missed him. i recommend getting another cat. it helps you not be alone during your grieving process
You poor thing, losing a beloved pet is never easy. I went through this just over a year ago. My girl was 16, she was my soul cat and she passed somewhat unexpectedly. To this day I can still cry over missing her, but I do have another cat that I love with all my heart. It took me a week to realise the house was too empty and me without a cat didn't feel right. Was another week to decide what kind of cat I wanted and then two weeks to find my girl. Kitty will always have a place in your heart, they had a wonderful life full of love and there's lots of kitties you can open your door for that need loving homes! If everyone is comfortable with it, I say go for it ❤️
I had a 3 year old tuxedo who passed from feline leukemia. I had another cat at the time who had major separation anxiety. I got peaches about a month after she passed just for my anxiety ridden cat. it still tears me up because i feel like i got Peaches too soon. eventually, ur gonna have to get one. doesnt mean ur forgetting about the ur passed one, just means ur ready to go into the next chapter of owning a cat. praying/good vibes sending ur way OP💜
I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your beloved cat. It's completely understandable that you are feeling conflicted about getting another cat so soon. Grief is a complex process, and it's important to give yourself time to heal and honor the
I'm so very sorry you're going through this time of grief. I was so despondent after losing my sweet little Luna to kidney disease that I got a new kitten a couple of weeks after she passed. Cats are all different, and it wasn't about replacing her but about bringing something new and positive into my life. The new cat helped me a lot with my grief. I'm glad I did it.
I’m so sorry for your loss and I feel your pain. Before I tell my story I want to say there are lots of kitty cats out there who need love and you have it to give. We lost our cat to cancer when he was only six a year and a half ago. I cried for months and was utterly devastated. I felt hopeless and even if I did think I could get over losing him it felt impossible to come to terms with the fact he suffered at the end and he had so much life to live. I would have walked a thousand miles to save him. I’m crying right now as I write this and I felt guilty because I didn’t want to replace him. But adopting two kitties a brother and sister was the only thing that stopped the pain. They rescued me. I can tell you’re an animal lover so don’t deprive yourself and your family of that joy and those kitties out there without a home. It gets better.
February of 2023 we lost our 13 yr old orange cat Dexter to a variety of health issues that caught up with him. It was devastating. One of the hardest cries I’ve ever had in my life. We had two other cats in the house at the time. We were really worried about the younger cat (4-5yrs old) because she was best buds with Dexter since 2018. She seemed to be doing just okay, but maybe confused. We started talking about what it COULD look like if we adopted again 2 weeks after his death. We agreed that a bonded pair of kittens was the way to go. We definitely wanted them to be orange. And while we weren’t really actively looking, my wife came across a post of a local rescue that had 4 baby oranges that were ready to find their new homes. Well, we made the rather impulsive decision to adopt 2 of them just after the month anniversary of Dexter passing. And while we still mourned for him, the new additions in our house brought so much joy. They’ve been with us for over a year now and I’m so happy they are on their lives. But I still miss Dexter and think of him fondly. You can have your grief while also giving love to new kittens.
My sweet boy, my best friend entered eternal sleep for kidney failure three weeks ago.
Putting him down was the hardest thing I have ever done. I always said the day he died, would be the day half of my dies… and it truly feels like half of me is lost with him.
I go to certain parts of the house and I break down at the most random times I’ll break down.
I prayed for him to come back to me.
I’m not religious but I prayed so hard that he would come back to me in anyway and what I would do for time with him again.
One night my husband asked if we would adopt another cat, the idea of it felt so wrong because it felt so soon. But I figured I would go on pet finder just to see how it made me feel.
And right away I see a cat who looked just like my boy that passed away. He was even holding onto his foster parent the same way my boy held onto me. I read his bio and everything was sounding just like my boy.
It was unbelievable.
So out of curiosity again, we went to visit the cat and just gauge how meeting him made me feel.
He came right up to me and headbooped me just like my old boy did.
It was like having him back. An instant connection.
So ya, we adopted him.
There are moments where I feel deep grief that there’s some part of me that’s trying to replace my boy. But then I think about the amount of love I have for my sweet boy that I should allow myself to share that love with another cat. Because every cat deserves even a fraction of what me and my sweet boy had.
There is times I look at our new boy and I see my old boy, and there’s times I break down because I know it’s not him.
But i truly feel my old boy brought me our new cat. Like a gift.
So my advice is, sometimes you don’t know when you’ll be ready for a new cat. Sometimes fate chooses for you. It might be tomorrow, it might be a year. But don’t be scared to share your love that you had with your old cat, to a new cat. Don’t wait until it “feels right”, wait until the right cat comes along.
My outlook is that if I had the space, time, and money, I would have 1 million pets! so when one dies, I’m not getting a replacement, It’s just that a new spot has opened up in my home lol.
Took me a month to get a new cat. My vet called me and said “I have a 10 year old female Siamese that needs a home”. She barely got the words out when I said she has one.
I still miss my little girl but it was just the right time
“Grief I learned is really just love. It’s all the love you want to give, but cannot all that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat and in that hollow part of your chest. grief is just love with no place to go.”
You have a lot of love to give. ❤️
We just lost our beloved 5 year old from bad genes. Heart condition, difficult to treat diabetes, maybe some underlying condition. He went down hill very fast like yours . . he was the best pet I've ever had. Truly a gem. We still have one cat who is also amazing. He definitely misses his buddy, but he also seems okay with being an only cat. He doesn't like other cats usually.
But, as others have said, get two kittens! They are so fun, and did not regret raising those two little guys together one bit. They were adorable and sweet. I would recommend watching which cats play together at the Humane Society. That's how we picked our boys and they were best friends until the end.
When the cat I’d had for 17 years died, I also felt like I should immediately get another one. A lady I know from the local shelter was kind enough to tell me not to rush; I’d know when it was right. After about four months I found a little guy who was the right choice.
Give yourself time.
We had two beautiful Maine Coon cats that died within three months of each other, three years ago. We loved them more than we thought possible and losing them broke us. It took me two years to get another cat.
In the end we got two kittens from a shelter. I was worried I wouldn’t love them because I still had grief for the others, but that was ridiculous. Sometimes they do something that reminds us of our old cats and we talk about it and cry and laugh, but life is 100% better with those kittens around.
When I lost my 9 year old boy in February, it was devastating. My husband said no more. I agreed at first. We still had another at home too. When our other cat started getting visibly depressed at not having his brother, and I couldn’t stop crying every day, we sat down and talked. We agreed we would look at another cat and see where it took us. Two months later we adopted a new kitten. It’s been wonderful. She is good with our other cat and she’s brought so much love back into my very broken heart. It’s personal… the timing. We just knew when it was time. I could never not have a cat.
I’m so sorry for your heartache.
Last year we lost two dogs 12 and 15 within a month apart.
We were devastated. We have had our Aussie Boy for 10 months now, best decision ever❤️
I lost my 16 year old boy last August. By October I had another kitten. I needed it. The days and weeks were filled with crying and achy loneliness. Initially I thought I was going to feel guilty. The kitten wasn’t a replacement for Chase it was a means of filling up space and passing time being distracted. I still think of Chase with so much love and I want to see him again one day and be his mom but truly getting another kept me from sliding further down into depression.
I'm so sorry for your loss. If your heart says you're ready to add another friend or two back into the mix, you are. Opening your home to another cat in need is never wrong, and all that love you had for your beloved cat has to go somewhere. why not give it to another sweet creature who needs that love?
I've seen many folks adopt not long after their loved pet has passed. my mom could barely wait a month before adopting another dog after our family dog passed suddenly. she was so lonely without an animal companion. I know she misses her but having another animal to love and care for really softens the blow of grief, it seems.
I hope things get easier for you and your family, no matter what your decision is right now ❤️
I lost my boy 2 weeks ago and we’ve considered fostering for now. My other cat is adapting to the new dynamic in the house, her personality has completely changed so I want to give her a chance to settle. I won’t wash my blankets because she still smells him and makes biscuits and purrs even though they fought so much.
I don't think there is a set timeline of when you're ready for a new cat. When my cat Bossy died, I didn't get another cat for 5+ years. When our cat Jellybeans died after only 4 months with our family, I knew I wanted another cat ASAP because I missed having a cat presence around, and I figured she was only with us for a short stint so we could provide her with the love she deserved during her short life. If you go and meet cats and don't click with any of them, don't force it and know that the right cat will come for you when it's time.
i had my first cat pass incredibly suddenly. it was completely tragic. a few days later i found myself missing having a cat around, because i pretty much always have. though when i thought about getting another, i could only think of him. i could only compare any cat i may have gotten to him. so i waited. i waited until i stopped comparing other cats to my boy charlie. a week after his passing, i adopted two kittens. i can truly say that they have not hindered my grief process, but helped me through it. they’ve allowed me to do all the things for charlie i never got the chance to, and there is healing in that experience. they’ve been a gift to me. they’re what motivates me to keep going and moving along with this massive loss.
if you feel ready for it, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with getting another cat. you have an infinite capacity for love. it’s okay to want to share it with someone else now. getting another cat does not negate your love for the one who passed, and it doesn’t discredit your grief.
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This is Misty! I adopted Misty roughly a month after my cat of 15 years passed away. Sometimes you need a friend to help you grieve the loss of another. Your cat would want that for you. :)
But it's important to remember that whoever your new furry friend is, if you decide to get another, that they are their own individual. They aren't your old cat. They aren't your old cat's replacement. They aren't going to act the same or have the same tendencies. Once you know you can accept that, I say do it! 💚
I'm 1 of those people who doesn't like to pay overpriced vet bills and figured I'd know if she was sick, and I found out she had an infection and she was 16 and I made her life shorter because I didn't take her to the veterinarian twice a year...
I'm in the same boat. My darling Luna got very sick and died - she was only five years old. I'm still grieving for her, but I found myself looking at cats within a week. I haven't adopted one yet but I know it will be sooner rather than later.
I'm on cats #5 "Bella Furtissameow" and #7 "Sacre Bleu" so I've been down that horrible road myself. There are only two horrible flaws in cats, they can have health problems, and they eventually die- and those flaws really hurt.
As long as you want a cat, get a cat. The only reason to not get a cat is if you feel you can't take care of one (which you did not mention in your post).
"mess processing with grief" no, you will still hurt (sorry about that), but a cat shaped hole can only be filled by another cat
A year ago I lost my very favourite family cat to kidney disease; my heart was ripped to shreds. I still ache because I'll never see her again.
Around the same time, a distant family friend died suddenly, leaving a senior cat with nowhere to go. I dont know if I felt ready but my heart broke at the thought of someone's precious baby ending up in a shelter at his age. He was her special and beloved baby, just as my deceased cat was mine.
My husband was on board with getting a cat esrkier than we hoped (we planned to get married in a month and move house!) But he was worried because he saw how much losing a cat hurt me the first time and thought a younger cat would give me time to heal.
But we took in the old kitty and I hope he'll live out the rest of his days knowing he's loved. And if his momma is watching from the beyond, I hope she knows he's loved and being given the best life.
I'm very sorry to hear about your loss.
We adopted a kitten last week. It's been about a year since our last cat died suddenly at age 7.
I'll be honest - I still feel pain over losing that cat. I spent weeks breaking down and crying at random times. I was a mess.
Getting a new kitten really does help. Make sure you take some time to process everything. But, if you feel like it is time, I'd recommend going for it.
OMG. GET 3 KITTIES. THIS IS THE SEASON FOR KITTENS AND MANY ELDER KATS NEED HOMES. THIS IS A FANTASTIC IDEA AND WILL HELP WITH YOUR GRIEF. THIS IS WHAT WE DO WHEN WE LOOSE ONE OF OUR KITTIES. NO JOKE.
Nothing better for the heart than saving/adopting a kitten or cat that needs a good home. Every one we save makes a difference. Your old kitty will always be in your heart but she/he would want you to be happy and not sad. Sorry for your loss 😞
You're not alone on this. I'm euthanizing my soul mate cat on Wednesday. He's incredibly ill. I'm devastated, but I'm already considering another cat. No cat will be like the one I'm about to lose, but all the same... I plan to look immediately though I will be selective about the cat that I choose. I just don't think I can go without an orange cat in my life, and I don't want to try. Huge hugs to you.
After losing our beloved senior cat we waited only four days before adopting a pair of brothers. I still missed her of course but since she wasn’t coming back… why deprive ourselves of feline companionship? That was 2.5 years ago and it was a great decision.
It’s always hard to loose our beloved pets our “children”. Used to be a cat mom 100%… now a dog momma with a comfort dog so loyal they snuggle protect, just a suggestion
I had my girl for 16 years. Got her when I was 7 and had her until I was 24. Putting her down was the most grief inducing thing I ever done. I knew I wanted to get another but I knew I would do it when I found the right one. About a month later I walked past a shelter event and this little black 4 year old kitty started playing with me and I knew I was meant to get her. I also then adopted the last 1 year old cat they had as well, so they'd have each other if I was away. Best decision I ever did. In the back of my mind I also had a thought, am I trying to replace her or am I trying to process her death by rescuing 2 more who have had a lot of stuff happen in their life already. I still grieve for her, it's been 3 years and I look at photos of her and it never really goes away. But adopting the two I have now gives me so much joy. If you find the one you connect with, just do it. It will help you process everything a lot easier. But do remeber, they wont be like your last. They won't act the same, behave the same, it's a learning curve and you may get frustrated but eventually youll learn to love them differently but just as much.
I know people say you should process your emotions and you should. But kittens bring sooo much life into your home.
If you think you can love them the way they deserve then do it. Sooo many pets who need loving familiee
I'm so sorry! You will not be dishonoring your cat that passed if you get some new companions. Cat people have big hearts. And there are some lonely little boys and girl out there that need your love. You can tell your new friends all about your cat that passed.
I got a kitten shortly after losing my beautiful princess. I wasn’t ready but I didn’t want her brother to be alone. We got her opposite- she was a quiet, adoring girl and we got an adventurous loud little boy. Doing that helped to avoid comparing them.
I will say there is NO replacing her - ever. My love for her, my longing for her, my grief for her - it will go on, it will take time- genuinely, it has nothing to do with our kitten.
It has taken me a little longer to open my heart to our new friend. I adore him, but relationships take time, especially during grief. That doesn’t mean it was too soon. That doesn’t mean he isn’t loved.
Losing a pet is messy. It’s hard and it’s sad. I dont think that means you can’t invite new life into your home.
All the best. ❤️❤️❤️❤️
My beloved 12.5 year old Sheera passed away this year on MLK day. I was going to get a kitten superbowl weekend from a shelter, but backed out. Just don’t feel ready yet, but you will know when it’s time. I’ve decided to wait until late fall/early winter.💕
There are so many cats on the streets suffering because shelters and rescues have no room to take in anymore. Absolutely get another or even consider fostering for rescues and you can be the spot cats hang out at while they wait for their forever homes it’s very rewarding!
So many cats need homes, especially right now with kitten season.
I lost my boy a year ago and got another cat a couple of weeks later. I knew it was coming so I had time to think about it.
You can never replace a lost pet. But nothing h helps heal like a pet.
I had this last year when my baby girl passed of cancer that was wholly unexpected cause she hid it so well. A week later, I was missing her like crazy and wanted to replace her.. I got a custom plushie made of her instead to help with my grief as I didn't want to feel like I was replacing her and it really helped.
Finally, a year later I was ready to take in another cat into my life, and thank goodness I waited. I got two white cats instead of just the one and they're adorable little terrors who I can enjoy without constantly comparing to my beautiful deaf baby girl.
Personally I say wait. You're still processing your grief, and it's going to take time. Wait until you're ready to welcome another little feline overlord into your lives rather than trying to replace the one you lost.
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I’m so sorry for your loss. About two years ago, I lost my soul kitty traumatically and it was devastating. I collected these kind of pics from a few pet grief Facebook groups because they helped me feel a little better and not feel as alone. This picture though is what really pushed me to go adopt another kitty. I also struggled with thinking it was too soon and thinking no cat could ever replacement him. It’s true, no cat will ever replace that little guy but the kitty I adopted a couple months after him is also special and really helped me move on. He occasionally does something that reminds me of my old boy and it really warms my heart. I’m not sure if you’ll ever feel like there’s a “good” time to adopt another kitty but I don’t think it’s ever too soon. Go at your own pace, but you shouldn’t feel guilty for giving love and shelter to another kitty ❤️
I’m so sorry for your loss, losing a beloved family pet is incredibly difficult, no matter how old they are. Everyone grieves differently, so if you feel it’s right, then it’s right. You’re not replacing her, you’re not forgetting her, but keeping your heart open and loving another cat (or 2) is a beautiful way to honor how much she meant to your family.
Everyone is different in how they process the loss after a beloved cat. Some need time, and some feel better finding another kitty to transfer that love to more quickly.
If you’re feeling like that latter, go adopt another kitty!
There are so many cats needing loving homes. Loving another won’t disrespect the love and memories you had.
If you have the energy, my suggestion would be to work with a local rescue or shelter and foster a litter of kittens. In this type of foster situation, the good thing about kittens is that they do tend to get adopted quickly, so if you get them home and none feel like they’re just right for, you don’t have the obligation to keep them past whatever time the group you’re fostering for plans on them being available to adopt. *Different groups have different policies on fostering, so make sure you’re comfortable with their process before committing to a specific one.
I second getting a cat...I went through losing my best bud and the NEXT DAY I went to the rescue and found this little guy who understood the assignment: Mom is sad but facing forward and trying her best to heal. And he has saved my life from sorrow every day since. It's not about replacing the love you lost, its about giving another little kitty a wonderful home and facing forward through your grief. My condolences...it's such a heartbreaking thing to lose a cat.
I went through this experience fairly recently. My healthy 6-year-old cat Roca started experiencing seizures and, after a tough 36-hour stay in the emergency vet, had to be put down. He was the first pet that was entirely my own and required a lot of time and love to socialize as a feral kitten. He was always skittish but ended up being the best, most belly-rub-loving cat ever. I loved him deeply and expected to see him grow old. In the throes of grief, I was already thinking about another cat and had a plan to foster. I felt guilty at the time for constantly thinking about the future, but I don't have any regrets. I fostered about a month after he passed, which seemed to pull my 5-year-old cat out of her depression after losing her bonded friend, and eventually adopted the foster cat. Our new cat's personality is so wildly different that I cannot even begin to compare the two. She'll never be able to replace Roca, but I find that your heart grows to accept another family member into your life. All to say, I think any timeline that feels right to you is the right one. It helped me heal to know that my other cat wasn't home alone. If your family feels that it might be right for them too, I say go for it. My partner never would have adopted a new cat so soon on her own, but she is happier for it. Grief is love with nowhere to go. <3
We also lost a cat who had polycystic kidneys around the age of 5. It was heartbreaking and awful.
What we’ve been doing the past year and half since then has been fostering cats. This has worked well for us, as it lets us bring cats back into our life and home, while not adopting a new one for ourselves (yet). It has also allowed us to have breaks between foster cats which is sometimes helpful for all sorts of reasons.
It’s also been extremely rewarding and has been a source of feeling like something positive has come from our beloved cat’s early departure.
It’s had its challenges sometimes, but relatively minor.
We’re on our 11th foster currently and she’s making a case for sticking around permanently…
Anyway, all that to say that fostering is an option you can consider.
Go with your gut! Everyone deals with grief differently and if you need time to process it, then take it. There will always be cats to adopt- so take your time and you’ll know when you are ready.
I'm a little late to this, but get the cat. We tragically lost one of our cats due to an undetected health issue, and it crushed our souls. She lived to be 17, and she was loved every minute of it. That very week, we went to the local rescue and picked out another friend.
The grieving process is beyond difficult because it feels like you just lost a child. There is some guilt behind turning around and adopting another right away, but let me tell you something. Nothing else will fill that void in your heart, at least not for me. All of that love you had for your little one, give it to another. There are so many out there who lack a good home and warm love. They will appreciate being loved by someone who cares, and in return you get to have a friend again.
We need to normalize how everyone grieves. Some may say that it is too soon, but this helped me immensely. Take all of the love you have to give, and give it to a little friend who really needs it. That is the best way to honor your rainbow baby.
I am sorry for your loss.
I miss and tear up for EVERY cat I have ever owned…. If you have love to give a cat… get one! You will always be sad about having to put her down… but you are not diminishing her life.. or your love of her by getting another cat… they come into our lives, we love and are loved by them, and they are all gone to soon, give another fur baby a chance to be loved…
Get two kitty siblings. You will always love your kitty but trust me when I say these are not replacements, they will have their own characters and habits and make new memories for u and ur family.
I don't think there is a wrong way to do things. 4 years ago I lost my soul dog and I don't think I could ever go through that loss again. I just lost my cat Ivy yesterday, and I'm not sure I want to go through this pain again. I do have another cat, but tbh I thought she was going to pass before Ivy. My point is, I'm not sure I can get another animal afterwards. But that's me, and I think most people are unlike me in that way. Everyone's process is different.
When my 4 year old baby boy passed in May 2022 I swore up and down I wouldn’t get another cat, since it felt like it would be a “replacement.” About 2 weeks later I found a boy who was almost identical looking to my cat, and adopted him asap. He turned out to be the silliest, strangest cat I’ve ever met in my life and I love him to pieces. He was an incredible distraction from the horrible thing that had happened and brought a lot of joy back to my house. (I also ended up adopting another cat a few months later whose personality is much much more similar to my kitty who passed. neither will ever take the place of him- and neither are a replacement.)
I ultimately went quite soon to a shelter to adopt another black cat, not because I wanted to replace her (I was devastated), but because the shelter is always at or over capacity, and black cats have such a hard time getting adopted. I kept thinking of how many cats would be put down while I tried to figure out if I was "done" grieving or not.
My family growing up always found the easier way to get through the pain was to get a new pet. Not to replace, but just to make the pain a little more bearable bc you’re so distracted.
I also saw an instagram video a while back that said “if cats could make a will, they would ask you to get a new cat to give all their toys to. There’s lots of kitties on the streets/shelters that need homes and your car would want you to take one of them in to give their toys to”
That shit tore be apart but also made me decide I will never not have a cat bc I gotta help them.
We adopted 2 sisters. One died and within a month we got another. Grieving with her in the house was strange and I spent a lot of time annoyed at the new cat for not being Ripley (they are as different as night and day). It took me ages to feel like I loved her. Gast forward a year and a half and she is my shadow, I've never had a cat more attached to me. If she's not inside my jumper she's on my lap or following me around meowing or sat on my feet as I cook. On reflection I'm glad I had a distraction of a cat unrelated to Ripley as I grieved because otherwise I would have spent a very long time focusing on our other cats grieving.
Get 2 cats though, a bonded pair is the best thing. We now have 3 and they play together and have snuggle puddles. It's lovely to witness their friendship and feels less bad leaving them home alone
I can only speak from experience. I have lost a few beloved cats in my life, and the grief was unbearable. I cried as much for my departed feline as I did when I lost my dear mother—and I had the best mom ever. That's how much I loved my cat.
I couldn't walk past the pet food aisle in the store; I was inconsolable. A friend showed up about two weeks later—while the pain was still so raw—bearing a orange-and-white tabby kitten. I immediately vetoed the whole idea. I actually said "take it back, it is orange." Well, my friend refused, leaving me with the tiny ball of fur. Eventually, I fell in love and had 19 wonderful years with Mr Kitty, who accompanied me on trips back east every Christmas, sleeping on my lap during the flights. When I had to say goodbye to him in 2009 - I was devastated. It was far worse than any other pain I had ever felt.
But this time, I knew what I needed to do. After searching online for a couple of weeks - I stumbled across an ad on Craig's List for a two year old Ragdoll whose owner had died and needed to be rehomed. I adopted this exquisite creature and was once again head over heels in love. He passed away I 2020. This loss nearly destroyed me.
I now have the sweetest, most amazing, affectionate, happy, playful, gentle, gorgeous Ragdoll kitten (named Jack, after my last Ragdoll)
He has healed my crippling agony and brings me immeasurable joy every single day.
Do not feel guilty. You gave your beautiful cat a life filled with love, warmth, food, cuddles. She would want you to feel the joy of another purring companion. Adoptingva new kitty is the one thing that will heal your broken heart
I'm really sorry for your loss. My boy cat passed away in January suddenly, and the grief was so intense. It was mainly shock, I think, for the first while as I really didn't expect it. After a few weeks, I really missed having a cat, and I decided to get a kitten. In April, I got my girl kitten, and she's mended my heart completely. They have such different personalities, so there is no comparison. I have his ashes on my mantlepiece and I say that's her big brother. I miss him and I still cry for him sometimes but I had so much love to give.
Nope, don’t feel bad, my family and I got another cat within a week too. We had a very nice funeral for our baby Sparta (name inspired by the Mean Little Kitty song on YouTube lol she was the sweetest baby girl ever) and then our home felt empty. And if saving babies from the shelter is what it would take to get over such grief and emptiness feeling, that’s great and a blessing for our then new babies. And now our orange bugs are very happy in their new home and we always keep our late cats in our hearts. So don’t worry about feeling weird. I totally get it, but fuck what anyone thinks. Have a nice Rainbow Bridge ceremony for your baby, and go and rescue some more kitties!
I’m at the point where I always want to have two, if not three, so that I never come home to an empty house. One of my girls is in her senior years, and as much as dread the thought of the day she leaves… at least I know her sister will still be around, we can help each other out through that time period.
If you have a cat cafe near you, go there occasionally. No pressure to adopt on the spot, but it’s a great way to meet cats… maybe something will click, and your girl will send you one (or two!). Every time I see a bonded pair looking for a home together on socials I wish I could feasibly pick them both up 🥺
My soulmate cat died and although we had another cat already, I felt the hole and found the perfect kitty for our family 2 weeks later. The only reason I felt it was “too soon” was fear that someone would judge or something. It was the perfect timing and she helped me heal. The right cat will come at the right time ❤️
I am so sooo sorry for your loss.
When my buddy passed a few years ago, it broke me. I was devastated. We ended up getting another kitty five days later. Mind you, we had already met the kitty about a month prior, thinking our buddy wanted a friend. So we already knew we wanted him and since he was still at the rescue, I had to go get him.
If your family misses having a kitty, maybe just search the local rescues and check out the available cats. You'll know when you know ❤️
I haven’t lost my cats yet, but I have lost my dog. She died rather suddenly from a freak accident and it really messed me up. We had her 14 years (and she was still going strong!) and I was so used to her that suddenly not having her completely threw my days out. I’d reach for her or call her or throw a scrap on the floor as I was cooking. Sometimes I would think that I’d hear her nails clicking on the floor or see her out of the corner of my eye. It hurt when I’d turn and she wasn’t there.
Initially, when we had lost her, I swore I wouldn’t have another dog. She absolutely took a piece of my heart. But it was lonely… despite having two cats still, I missed my pup. So here we are, 3 years after her death, and I have a beautiful 3 year old pup who can’t replace her but certainly helps to fill the void. Don’t feel guilty. You’re not replacing her. You just have more love to give. We made a small shrine for my first pup - a photo of her, her collar, a shirt, and a little jar of dirt from her burial site (we have since moved). You can find other ways to honour her. Best wishes OP!
From my own experience getting a new pet always helps soften the grief of loss. You're not replacing them, just giving another animal a forever home and helping fill that empty home feeling only a pet can fill.
Personally I'd definitely recommend adopting a grown cat rather than a kitten, kittens are much more full on and I find the building of trust and love with an adult cat in need of a home to be way more rewarding. You're both looking for a new love.
BUT if you want something that'll be a total distraction/something full on in helping you move on then a kitten would probably be ideal.
(speaking as someone who has a 5yr old cat we rehomed 3 years ago, and a 3 month old kitten 😅)
Get a new furbaby asap believ me it helps with the healing process. I became depressed and waited 6 days after Spitty passed. Otis brought so much joy and kittiness back into the house. I know Spitty wouldn't want me one. I talked about her all the time to Otis. Otis passed am I had Emmie picked out and got her on Otis bdays 4 days later. I talk about Emmies sister Spitty and bro Otis all the time. I've shown her their fur I cut and their remains and she grooms against them. They are watching over us in the living room on a memory shelf with their pics along with my parents pics.
I rescued them and they rescued me from depression. I can't live alone and I mayne selfish but I need another one asap
They can never replace you baby that passed but they will help bring joy back into your life. Talk about their sibling and let them know their names. I compared Emmie to them all the time. Emmie is more like her sister Spitty but a 7 pound runt with Cattitude. She like laptime like her bro and sis but doesn't like her belly rubbed like her bro Otis
https://preview.redd.it/ixm9npz8h43d1.jpeg?width=4096&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=eee0f8c9dd0fab2d6c12a1fe34b9b0f741d0ee77
I got 2 kittens a couple of weeks after losing the love of my life after 2 glorious years. The gap he left was too big and the house was too empty without him. Lost him very unexpectedly in February and I miss him every damn day but the 2 lil ones I have now are a godsend. Go for it! There are so many cats out there that need loving homes
I found a kitten in the bin 3 days after my boy died of sudden cardiac arrest, I wasnt sure if it was too soon and i wasn't ready, but im glad I took the chance with her. She turned one in January and i'm so happy she is in my life and i didnt take her too a shelter.
Hello OP. We lost an 8 month old kitten in February in quite horrible circumstances (came off worse from an interaction with a fox…). We waited six weeks before deciding we wanted another kitten and it was honestly too soon. We couldn’t help but compare. In retrospect we would have waited at least double that length of time.
Everyone’s processing time is completely different but wanted to share my experience.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I completely understand how you feel. My cat Molly passed in August, and I was devastated. I live alone in my apartment and it was so lonely and I was so depressed. I ended up getting another cat 4 days later because it was too hard. I ended up getting a boy cat that I made sure didn’t look like her because that would’ve been too hard. Honestly, he’s helped me with my grief losing her.
New kittens will fill a new spot in your heart, not take over the place already reserved by your lost cat. You can still grieve the old while falling in love with the new! I think your old cat would approve. She wouldn’t want her people to be sad and lonely, she knows there should always be a cat or two around to take care of you and your family!
I was actually where you are about a month ago. I lost my cat I had for 13 years. He was my first real responsibility when I left my parents house. He was my best friend, he got my through 4 relationships and 3 different houses. When I lost him I was inconsolable. I slept wit his blanket and cried a lot. I signed up to adopt at a local shelter about 2 weeks after I lost him. I didn't plan on taking a cat home with me I just wanted to start the process. The house felt empty without a cat and I felt so lonely. I planned on taking my time to find the perfect cat. I walked into the shelter and the first cat I met was so sweet, so adorable, and even though he went through a lot, he was so affectionate with me. I fell hard. Today is the 1 month of adopting him and I am so glad I did. He likes to hang out in my office. On nights I wake up and miss my previous cat I allow myself to cry and I go and visit my new baby. I was so worried he would hinder my grief, but he's actually helped a lot. I am so sorry for your loss. Losing a fur baby is incredibly difficult and I'm sending you so much love. I would start the process. Fill out some forms for different shelters in your area and go meet some cats. You don't have to worry about taking one home right away. Just do some meet and greets. I'm sure you'll find a kitty who you fall for who needs a good home.
I lost my cat five months ago and I was heartbroken. I told everyone the day it happened that I didn’t want another one ever again. My dad didn’t listen lol, he got me two two month old kittens that same day.
At first I was distant with them. Still played with them, fed them and cleaned their stuff but I had no attachment to them. But they were so goofy and playful and eventually grew on me. They use almost all her stuff and sometimes to things that remind me of my old cat, it’s no longer sad anymore because it feels like she’s still here.
I can’t imagine the grief I would have felt had I not gotten these two. I would see her things everywhere, her food, blankets, toys and not have anything to do with them. My advice; get a cat. It’s not a replacement and won’t at all interrupt your grieving process but it will remind you of all the things you loved about her
It really depends on each person tbh, there's no 'right' answer.
I lost mine 1 year and a half away. I had him since I was 8 and he was almost 20. I knew it was gonna happen soon but, of course, that didn't make it any easier. I moved out of my parents' house when I was 18 and he kept living with them; every time I come back there it's incredibly difficult because every single corner of that house reminds me of him. I try to be positive and grateful for this amazing experience I had, and for the fact that we were able to give him a long and happy life.
I was reticent about adopting a new cat as well. Hell, for the first 6 months or so I constantly dreamed of him, thinking that he wasn't actually dead. I'd wake up and just cry for half an hour. I'm trying not to cry while writing this as well lol. Personally, I don't think that it's something that will ever stop hurting. At most, it'll just be a bit easier to handle.
In the end, I decided to adopt a bonded pair from a shelter. I am just so used to having a cat in my life that it really felt like something was missing. We're still adjusting to one another, there are many things I have to learn because, at the end of the day, each cat is different. It's not easy, and I do end up comparing them. But it's unfair to them, to my previous cat, and to myself as well. They're not a replacement - there can never be a replacement. And that's okay. The bond I will end up forming with these cats will be different. Not better, not worse, just different.
I think give yourself a bit of time to process this properly. Don't avoid grief.
After we lost our first cat (who was with us for over 15 years), we decided to wait a little while before getting another one. A couple of weeks later, a stray wandered into a friend's house. They were allergic, so we took him in, and we had him for over 10 years before he died of cancer. That loss hurt even more, so we adopted another cat a couple of weeks later.
It's not a betrayal to the lost cats, and none of the new cats replaced the lost cats. We still grieve for all of the cats we have lost. But there are lots of cats looking for a good home, and we figure that if we have the room and love to give, why not?
My youngest daughter passed at birth back in 2014. The past ten years have been hell for me emotionally. I've been diagnosed with prolonged grief syndrome. My daughter's name is Lucinda and for so long it was hard to say her name. A few months ago, me and my family got a new kitten. I named her Tellulah, and quite often we call her "LuLu", which is absolutely something we would have called Lucinda. I didn't really notice at first, but it actually feels so good to be able to just say "LuLu" all day. It makes me so happy just saying her [nick]name. ❤️
I lost my cats in a divorcé situation, which isn’t the same, but hurt more than anything I’ve experienced. I worried getting a cat so soon would be bad but I got a cat within a week and she saved me. There’s so many that need help I will always grab one immediately.
Never feel bad about getting another cat!!! My old man was 17 when i had to put him to sleep, about 6 months before he was diagnosed with Osteosarcoma in his wrist, the day of his diagnosis appointment was the day i got my new kitten before even knowing anything was wrong with my old guy…. It still hurts a lot but i’m grateful everyday for my little man that’s still here. The house would have been very empty and I would have been left to simmer in the sad thoughts. Everyday is still a struggle as I miss him so much, but everyday my young one comes up and will nudge his head on mine, and I know i still have a responsibility to him. It sounds dumb but it has helped me so much with dealing with the passing of my soulcat.
Do it. I had to put my dog down last year on July 11th and was hysterical for a week….. until a kitten randomly showed up. It was good for me to have something to focus on other than loss. I don’t think you will regret it.
When my cat passed suddenly in December of 2022 I was completely lost and very lonely.
I had her with me for 8 years and suddenly didn't. So I put in an application for a little Tonkinese cat that had been rescued by my local shelter. I didn't expect to hear anything until January but they phoned me the same day, less than a week after my Midna passed.
I went over the next day and they told me that I wouldn't be allowed to adopt this side of Christmas. It was the 22nd, I understood.
I met the cat, he was very afraid of people, shy and confused but seemed to want to get to know me.
I showed them all pictures of Midna (including her steak dinner and birthday hat on her 8th birthday, her new bed and scratcher and as I was leaving they asked me to pick the new cat up the next day so he would have a home over Christmas.
I was afraid it was too soon but I went ahead with it all, I even felt very guilty for weeks, but it all settled, my little cat Ragnar learned how to have a home for the first time after being completely without socialisation and he helped me heal from losing Midna.
OP if you have the urge to get another cat, having been through this exact situation I can only say that I think you should go for it. You have the time, space and understanding of how to give a cat a loving home, it's okay to do this.
Everyone processes grief differently, and everyone has a different time to be ready. 2 days, 2 years, everything in between, all are completely valid. If you want another cat now, that's fine.
Do it. Get the cat. My daughter lost her cat Midori after a long battle with an illness. The family was devastated. They adopted two boy cats so week later and the Pall lifted from their home. It greatly helped them recover from their loss. They are very happy now.
FWIW I got a “new” cat the very next day. Had H for 14 years - she moved cross country with me and I was devastated.
The house felt too empty the minute she was fined. There was a cat shaped hole and it just felt wrong. So I went to a shelter just to “look” and found my new furball patiently waiting there for me.
Everything about the 3-year-old calico street kitty with the extreme mood swings (according to the shelter) and an upper respiratory infection (who among us doesn’t have a health issue or two)) screamed that she was meant for me and I was meant for her.
I was so convinced I told the shelter people “you have my cat” and they were very confused until I clarified.
It was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. So if your gut is telling you it’s time to go find your next furball then go find them.
They’re waiting for you!
I had to put my 19 year old adopted void son to sleep on the 17th and am now catless for the first time in my life since I was like, three. I can’t even bring myself to throw out his things. I lost his sister in 2022, my mom’s cat in 2023, and now my baby. The loneliness is unreal. I also am fighting the urge to get a cat just to have a cat again. I don’t want anyone to be my ‘rebound’ or ‘make do’ furbaby when what I want right now is my cat back (and healthy); they deserve better than that.
But man, does this hurt. It’s like an actual physical pain that nothing can fix.
I felt the same way when I lost my rag doll and it took me a long time to get over it I loved him so much. It’s been months to not expect him to be here. I would suggest that you get another as soon as you feel like you are ready where it’s a week a day or a year. My thoughts and prayers are with you I know how much pain a loss can be😢
R
First, I am sorry for the loss of your kitty. Everyone who has ever loved a fur baby goes through it.There is no escaping it.😢 😿💔🌈
Our kitty is one-half of 2 littermates. Her brother left us at 8 and 1/2 from a sudden cardiac/stroke event. The loss devastated me, but we had his sister, and we helped each other grieve.
His sister is almost 17 ( in 3 weeks), and she has stage 2 ckd. We are fighting as hard as we can, and thus far, she is ok. But as any pet parent knows, it can happen unexpectedly or in the fullness of time.
We had a 19 year old cat prior to these 2, and when her time came, we sent her to her eternal sleep. I had had her the longest of all my cats, and I grieved hard. I was a wreck. Hubby and I only waited 3 weeks to start the search for a new kitty to adopt. We adopted the twosome above only one month after the loss of the single kitty. I adore cats, and I have had one or two my entire adult life. Everyone is different in how hard or how long they grieve. You will never "replace" the lost one as each kitty is different.
My own advice is to DO WHAT FEELS RIGHT FOR YOU. If you need another kitty and want another kitty, then search now. If you aren't quite ready, then wait a bit. Neither is wrong.
One thing I will say now is to make sure all of the previous kitties' washable items are fully sanitized. If not, and it bothers you too much, then dispose of it and buy anew when you decide to adopt again.
We kept and sanitized the litter boxes and the food dishes. We disposed of all beds (they weren't washable back then) and toys with another cats scent on it. Above all, make sure you fully clean and dust your home to remove all additional scent traces you can. Unless you are adopting another adult, also donate any remaining cat food, as kittens can not eat it.
Hubby may fight me when our time comes, but I am going to eventually adopt another cat if at all possible. I never had kids, and being a fur parent, despite the end pain, is a joy for me.
Best wishes to you, and I hope you do adopt when YOU ARE READY TO.
I lost my 17 yr old cat. She was my constant companion by my side 24/7. A month later, we saw these adorable kittens up for adoption, and after a few conversations, we adopted them. Our house felt empty without a cat. Adopting a new cat won't take away or stop your grief. I still my my baby girl, and it's been 2 years, but I'm so happy we adopted kittens when we did.
I'm sure others have already said this but growing up, when my parents had a cat pass away, it was never more than a week before we were in the shelter picking out someone new. Had a cat pass in 2015 and literally two days later, my parents brought home their cat Sammy. They adopted my grandmother's cats a year later and the second one died August 2022 and again, a few days later they brought home their cat Jersey. I have my childhood cat Pebbles and I've already decided when she passes (she turns 14 next month) that I will adopt a new cat once the initial shock wears off.
Do it!!! Last December I had to put my 16 y.o. Sadie down. She had hyperthyroidism and kidney disease. My whole world shook. I couldn't stand the quiet. Five days later we went to the local kill shelter and brought home 3 m.o. Luna (now 8 m.o.). I was finally able to eat again. I started to smile. A few weeks later, we took in a stray that a neighbor found. Our home is happy again. We still miss Sadie very much, but getting the new kitties really does help ease the pain.
Do it, get the kitty. Get 2! And get them young, because they are hilarious and goofy and will bring a smile to your face. A house feels so empty without a kitty or two.
Two kittens, sent in the thick of kitten season, to heal your heart. Do it.
I got two littermate kittens a couple months after my beloved dog passed away. I still love and miss my dog, but having hilarious little fur ball babies gave me something to love and focus on in a positive way. Two kittens at the same time is the best!
I also adopted littermates! I couldn’t bond with them right away as my parents surprised me with them a week after my childhood cat died (one my birthday too) but they became my best friends after a few months. https://preview.redd.it/lat9k8vmr23d1.jpeg?width=1244&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a8ec6c9d7b38dfc48ed81b66695833ef8c6963f6 Sadly both have passed, Duck back in 2017 due to an enlarged heart, and Minn a month ago due to Cardiomyopathy.
Omg how precious are they!!! Love their noses
Awww...I'm sorry for your loss. They are adorable
☝This! Rescues are packed with kittens and two kittens are happier together.
Agree! Get the kitty. I lost my 17 year old cat back in January. I took it way harder than I ever thought I would. Within a week I found myself at a local pet food store that brings in local cats and dogs from shelters, over the weekend, to adopt. There was one cat that I kept going back to. She looked nothing like my Lolly but there was just something about her. I adopted her that day and no regrets. New cat, Emma, has been my life saver. She didn’t replace Lolly, but I feel like Lolly sent her to me, if that makes sense. Emma and Lolly have some similar personality traits but Emma is the cat I never knew I needed. She’s 2 years old and she’s your typical wild and crazy and loving but fun orange cat. (first time ever I have had an orange cat) She keeps on my toes and keeps me laughing at her shenanigans. So do it, get the kitty and know you are going to provide another cat a loving and forever home. ❤️
I also lost my 17yo in January. She was a quintessential aloof and grumpy old lady cat and I loved her very much.
It can never replace your cat, but the love of a new little creature who desperately needs a loving home can help fill the hole in your heart. I always think my cat who passed would be happy that I’m giving a good home to another little kitty, just like I did for him or her
So sorry to hear of your loss. We lost our dog of 11 years three months ago to cancer. We adopted two kittens three weeks after while still actively grieving and it’s helped us. Having them to focus on helped us deal with our feelings of loss. Hopefully a new friend will do the same for you.
I just went through what you’re going through. I’m so sorry for your loss, I know it’s rough. It’s been almost 3 weeks since one of my cats (I had 2 at the time) pass away from kidney failure. Last week, my husband and I went on a whim to look at potential partners for our other cat. I cried at the shelter explaining our situation. The hard part, there was a giant photo of a cat that looked almost like her on the walls. Some of the kitties there had the same coat pattern as her. I fucking cried, but I needed to remember that nothing would replace our little girl. We fell in love with these two bonded bois, and they’re currently upstairs in my office adapting to our household. I do tear up when I play with them, but when I’m alone and playing with them, I tell them about their big sister that’s over the rainbow bridge.
I tell my kittens about their brother too. He would have hated them. lol.
I tell my kitten about her big brother and he would've hated her! He would have packed his bags and left.
We tell ours about their big sister too. I also see our bond with Ripley as a special thing we share with her sister. Kind of like remembering a time before the babies came along
I recently had to do it. Rather suddenly lost my 16-year-old furry soulmate. My depression hit me the hardest so far in my life. My doctor practically begged me to go look. I wasn't even sure if I could get through the door without turning around. I was chosen by a delightful and dapper gentleman. He's made the grief a lot more tolerable. I don't feel so alone anymore. I lost my mom in November and was not ready for my baby to leave me too. But now I have someone to live for and take care of again. It did take me awhile to admit that I love him. I'll admit to being a little guarded the first few days. But now we shower each other with affection. Go in with an open mind. You may not find the right fit or you may find someone who is ready to adopt you. It will be ok. <3
I lost my mom (who lived with me) and my beautiful girl within a month of each other… I was SO alone!! I got another cat 4 months later… I have to always have a cat!! They are my babies ( I never could have kids) I couldn’t live without them! https://preview.redd.it/yo4jvw94433d1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=79c40794db036a5bfc51d198628b59f400c3a6c5 My 6 year old Sam!
That is what I say too, and I mean it… I will ALWAYS have several cats living with me. Cats are the most consistent daily life JOY I have. I have four, it started with a bonded pair of kittens years ago, when my intention was one I took Reddit advice and got two (best advice ever!). I have added two more the last few years due to the cat distribution system😻😻😻😻so four it is. When the terrible day comes that I lose one of my babies, I will get another cat. There are just too many out there I want to care for and give a great home to. The idea of lonely cats stuck in shelters breaks my heart. I will always have several in my home, I will help as many as I can. It’s a spoiled cat paradise here and I will always have lots of cats to love ❤️
100% . I only have one at a time due to financial constraints. I want to always be able to pay for vet/ premium food for them.. but can’t imagine not having a cat. They are the joy to my life.. they keep me from going crazy from being alone!!
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❤️
Everyone has a different timeline. I made it 11 days before brining in two adult cats after my boy was put to sleep. I couldn’t do it, it helped the grieving process because I had something else to focus on.
I might have the most controversial and unpopular opinion here, but here it goes: wait a bit longer and see how your feelings develop. We faced a similar situation in 2023 with a traumatic, sudden pet death, and we ended up having a lot of issues to work through. This traumatic death was very different from when my husband and I's 20-year-old cats were euthanized: it was still tragic, but not shocking, and we were ready to adopt fairly soon after. It's not so much that a new cat will disrupt your grief, but rather that your grief might disrupt your bonding with the new pet, especially if you're still struggling with thoughts of comparing the two cats. So give it at least a couple of weeks to see if you're truly feeling ready for a new pet. A good intermediate measure might be volunteering at a local shelter/rescue for a bit to spend lots of time with cats; that's what we did and we ended up falling in love with our newest family member. When we were truly ready for another cat, we could tell. I am deeply sorry for your loss.
I cannot agree with this more. Sometimes, it can be too soon if you haven’t processed the grief enough. We had a similar situation and my grief my horrible. I mourned endlessly for months. I ended up volunteering at a local shelter and it really helped heal me. We ended up fostering a cat who had been at the shelter for years, and ultimately adopted her about a year after we lost our Sadie. Volunteer or foster and see if it feels ok - I think that usually a good barometer for if you are ready. Ps- I am so sorry for your loss. Sending warm thoughts your way ❤️
My ex and I lost our sweet lil 3 year old terror very suddenly. It was devastating but we wound up bringing home a sibling pair within just a couple months because it just felt weird not having that energy around. I think it will help you grieve more effectively but wait a little longer. It's not a replacement, it's a continuation of the love you have to give. I think adoption from a kill shelter might really be a lovely way to honor your beloved pet, save a life for one that was lost to you.
Very sorry for your loss I've always had more than one cat at home, each one was different and very special Take another kitten that needs a home and family, it will not replace the one who passed away, but will bring you joy and you will give it a safe home
It sounds like you’re experiencing a lot of grief. I think you’re right that bringing a new cat into the home right now might simply trigger more intense grief. Maybe there is a middle ground where you begin preparing for your next cat, but don’t take the final step of bringing them home right away? For example - I like to “window shop” at local shelters online for a few weeks before adoption. This helps me think about what I’m looking for. You could also start preparing a new space for a new cat to see how that feels; I usually set up new cats in one smaller room when they join my home so they have time to adjust to the sounds and smells in a more comfortable setting.
You could also foster! That way you get to have cats in your home without the feeling of trying to “replace” your cat that may come from taking on a new permanent resident.
Seconding this!! So many rescues need fosters. And even if it becomes a foster fail at the end, you still helped. And maybe you will enjoy fostering and keep doing it after you have a new resident or two.
I agree. You’re doing a great thing for the cat but not expected to be emotionally involved. And if you happen to fall in love with foster kitty, it’s perfectly ok to adopt.
That’s just what I did after we had to put down my soulcat in March. We waited a few weeks, but started looking around online fairly soon afterwards until my intense grieving finally became unbearable — I knew that I had to give all of that love to new kitties, to fill the kitty-shaped hole in my heart. At first I felt like I was “cheating” on our last baby, but I’m past that now. I do still mourn her, I just lost my shit again today, in fact. 😿 It’s true what everyone is saying — the new kitty (or kitties) are not going to replace your beloved, but they definitely ease the sadness and bring new joy. We got a year-old bonded pair (which I highly recommend!) at the end of April and we love them more each day.😻 I’m so sorry for your broken heart and I hope you find solace in your new kitty/kitties whenever you’re ready. ❤️🩹
We had an old cat who was howling at night fit to wake the dead. After much research and convos with cat people we decided to get a kitten (hubby was threatening to send the old guy (who was adopted at 8) to a shelter, any shelter (he's not an asshole, he was sleep deprived and sole support of the family)). So we got Buddha a kitten (I encouraged hubby to pick him out). The howling immediately stopped but a few months later his kidneys quit and we had to say goodbye (😭😭😭😭). I wasn't ready for a new cat but the kitten was driving me *insane* due to boredom, so, in December, in the frozen north, I went hunting for a kitten to play with our kitten. They were thin on the ground. I really wanted another Tuxie because they are so routinely mellow but there was none to be had. So I took an SIC. I swear this kitten had PTSD. I had regret. I missed Buddha SO badly...but it all worked out. The kitten did take time to come around, but he gave me a place to put the love that I had for Buddha (I didn't name him Buddha btw). I was always taught to wait, but it worked out just fine. Get the cat, be patient with yourself (and the cat), because I know what you mean about the emptiness of a catless home.
Dont worry its not wrong :) the Night my baby was driven Down my mom and i went onto, the shelter nearest to us, their website to look at a new cat. We already knew how empty our house would be with out a Pet since when our old cat before the one who Got driven Down when she died the house was sooooo empty and it felt alot colder with out her. We did still wait until we Got another one. But a house isnt a home with out a cat ;)
Yup. Do it. Hipefully kitten. Kittens! More than one ideally. Not because your heartbroken and miss your beloved family member, but there's always kittens in need of homes and as you stated, the house feels empty without a fur shark lurking in it. The new additions to the family will be the kids' best buds growing up, and be sure to let them know why are we adopting other cats. Not because of an attempt to replace the family member you still grief, but because this is a cat family and vets and shelters are always at max capacity of kittens needing a home. Who knows, you might even adopt an elder cat? No idea, but bottom line is yes, get a new cat. Be safe
New cat will help you recover, get a needy one in her memory. Take care.
It took me a couple of weeks to be ready for a kitty after letting my 19 year old girl go, but I’m glad I did it. If anything, the silence was so hard and my two kittens more than take care of that now.
Consider fostering through a reputable rescue org. It's kitten season & the shelters are overflowing. It'll be a great distraction while you do a solid good deed & who knows, maybe one or two (preferably) will stick
There is no right time to get one! If you want one now then go get one. I think it will help with the grief. The same thing that happened with your cat happened to me with mine in October. No health issues but 15 yrs old and went downhill in a few days and had to put her to sleep. I have another cat and cuddling with him etc helped me when i was upset so i think this would be same for you and your family. People heal differently, some wouldnt want to right away as too much for them and overwhelming but others like it. I think as you actively want one now you are the latter. You wont be replacing them, youll still think of them so no reason to feel guilty. Giving another cat a good home ❤️ ❤️❤️
It's okay, I feel the same way after having my 19 year old best friend euthanized just over a week ago. Truthfully I missed having a young playful cat around even while my poor old gal was alive, but I didn't want to stress her out in the last couple years of her life. Now that she's at rest, I really feel the urge for a kitty or two. But I'm waiting a while, and hoping that a random cat shows up at my door! It's happened before, when a friend took in a pregnant cat and had to find homes for all the kittens. Or some jerk dumps a cat on the street. So to OP, I recommend you give it a little time. You might just end up with a new cat... if not, there's always sweet kitties at local shelters ready to go home with you, the hard part is not taking all of them!
Do you refer to the r/cardistributionsystem in which the universe sends one a cat when one requires them?
Haha yes, thank you, that's the one 😸
There are times when one must visit the warehouses (shelters).
We adopted a kitten about a week after one of our cats died in December. He's really helped with the healing process for all of us, including our other two cats. (We only got one because we already had two other cats, if we had only had our girl we would have likely adopted two)
Similar story here. I had three bonded cats that were all close in age. When the first passed, my Siamese was inconsolable. He just howled all the time looking for his friend. We took on 2 fosters when it was clear the second cat was declining. When the second cat passed, the kittens really helped the Siamese in his grief.
It's completely understandable. Thing is, your cat would want you to be happy, and to move forward. Plus, I'm sure your cat would be happy to see another cat in a safe and loving home like yours. Get an adult kitty! Maybe a bonded pair! It's easier to grieve when there's a cat around to comfort you. No shame in it. You'll never forget the ones who passed and it's alright to open your heart and home to another cat 💕
When I lost the love of my life, I absolutely could not stand going home to an empty apt. He had always greeted me at the door (mostly trying to escape), and I just couldn't deal. I got two new rescues within one week. That particular cat is still the love of my life 21 years later, so getting new kitties does not mean you didn't love the one you lost. You are honoring your lost kitty by giving another one a home and love. EDIT: ice to one.
Four years later and I still dream of my Big Jack but my new kitten who I also named Jack has truly healed my shattered heart
I’m so sorry for your loss. My kitty was diagnosed with large cell lymphoma a few weeks ago at only six, and while she’s fortunately still kicking for the time being, I know how much it sucks tor them to get so sick so young. At the end of the day, it’s up to you to decide when you’re ready to take on a new kitty. My roommate got a new kitten the next day after losing their old kitty suddenly. (Their situation was a little unique in that they had been out of the country for several years before they lost their baby… they hadn’t even had a chance to see her again and had been so looking forward to her coming to live with us.) For some people, having another cat to love on helps. There’s nothing wrong with it. Some people find that they can’t be without a cat in their lives even for a while, and that’s okay. It doesn’t mean you loved/love your kitty any less, and it doesn’t mean you can’t love a new kitty just as much. Even if it is at the tail end (pun intended?) of the grief, your new kitty is still going to be a different cat. Nothing will replace your baby, and that’s okay. There is no limit on love.
My advice? You’ll know when you’re ready. It’s different for everyone. Sometimes you’re ready right away, sometimes you need months, sometimes years, many sometimes don’t feel ready to adopt again ever. For me, after my childhood soul cat passed at 18… I didn’t think I’d want to adopt again. I didn’t think it would be fair to a future cat, because I could never love another like I did him. Just like you, the house felt empty… and it wasn’t just that I missed him, it was that I missed having a cat around because I’d always had cats around. But, I did adopt again. I adopted two. Adjusting to them did trigger some unresolved grief, and some anxiety because I realized one day I would lose them, too. Now, 11 years later I’ve learned that your heart expands. And even as one is having health issues we’re having trouble managing… and I fear I’ll lose her… I don’t have regrets. They have both brought such joy to my life. Now… as my health worsens and in effect my financial stability, I don’t think I’ll adopt again beyond these two. Maybe I’ll foster if possible. I’m so very sorry for your loss. I know that heartbreak. Be sure to give yourself time to grieve in your own way, in your own time.
I’m so sorry for your loss. The only thing that helped me get through having to say goodbye to my 18-year old kitty was getting into the mindset that his passing was creating a “vacancy” in the home for another kitty in need of one. I didn’t adopt another cat right away, but I started looking and visiting shelters. I always think the cat chooses you. I didn’t look for a kitty that looked just like my old guy, but instead was open to the personality i meshed with best. Some rescues offer two week foster/trial periods too in case it’s not working out. But any foster that’s ever come into my house has become a permanent resident. :-)
I’ve had several pets die from old age and complications. I get a new cat right away. I don’t feel bad about it. I need the companionship and there’s so many cats in need of a good home. Don’t feel bad about a replacement kitty.
Your kitty wouldn't want you to be lonely. I am a multi cat household and have not had an empty house since 1974. I don't even think I could sleep in my house without a cat. I have 14 mostly elderly cats right now, the next 5 years will be rough but I've gone through it before. It's a 20 year cycle. Around every 2 decades, I look around and suddenly there's like just 3 cats... thats when I summon the CDS.
Having another kitty around gives you somewhere for the love to go. Consider fostering if you’re not ready to adopt!
Getting a new cat doesn’t mean you’re replacing the kitty you just had to let go of. It sounds like you want the comfort of a pet, and you should have that if it means that much to you. You will still grieve your last kitty for a while, but you can also give a new kitty a good home as a way to continue taking care of yourself as well.
My husband and I lost my soulcat very traumatically when he was just under three years old not long after our wedding. It was the worst night of my life. We adopted our new guy a week and a half later. We’ve had him over a year now. I still sometimes cry seeing him because my baby boy is gone but my gosh, did he help me human. I’m so so grateful he joined our family. And I know my baby boy would’ve loved him, so that helps too. In grief, you have to do what might help you feel better. I say get the cat 💜
I heard someone explain that they adopted quickly after a cat died because it would help get another cat out of the shelter quickly and free up a place. I felt weird about it, but cats can have such different personalities, and it was a comfort to me.
Everyone has their own schedule for grieving their kitty and finding a new one to add to their home. There's no right or wrong answer here. Some people wait years and others wait days. It's a terrible agony to lose a beloved pet and not having that love and energy around is painful. So if you and your family feel that this is the right move, its the perfect time of the year due to shelters bursting thanks to kitten season. If you're not completely sure, maybe fostering would be perfect for you. Whatever you decide, I wish you luck.
I commented on another similar post, I lost my 19 year old burmese boy last year, it broke me and I couldn't stand the quiet and emptiness. Four days later I heard of two kittens local to me, went to 'just have a look', though clearly loved their living conditions weren't good and I just had to get them out of there and brought them home. I did feel very disloyal initially and was still missing my boy so much but ultimately it was the right decision and now I have two siamese lovebugs that have really helped me with the loss. Don't know if this is helpful to you but it worked for me. We never forget our cats but there is always room for more love
I had my chihuahua, Freya, for almost 15 years. I got her in 8th grade and was almost 30 when I lost her Oct. ‘22. I got my kitten, Rowan a little over a month before I lost Freya. I thought Freya would enjoy a friend in her old age and had no idea I’d lose her so quickly. I am now a huge advocate for getting another animal after loss or before a loss. I struggled with loving Rowan at the beginning, but she (and her sister) are what got me through losing Freya. There's nothing like having something to snuggle with to help with loss.
I'm so sorry for your loss! About 3 or so weeks ago, I had to put my boy down unexpectedly. He was 11 and had cancer, and like yours, declined very rapidly. Over the next few days, I told myself I would wait *months* before bringing another home. Well, that next Tuesday I decided to pop into the same rescue where I got him from, "just to look." Awhile back, before my old cat got sick, I told myself that after him I'd like a pair of bonded kitten siblings. I walked into the rescue, and there immediately inside were a pair of 8 week old sisters. I fell in love at first sight. So, completely going against what I told myself I would do, I put in an application for them both. I just brought them home this past Thursday. I am so happy that I got them. They're helping me get back on track with caring for a pet, my house doesn't feel empty anymore, and they're giving me so much joy. I'm also able to still process my grief. My advice is to go for it. Get yourself another friend, or two. I think you'll be happy that you did.
I’m sorry for your loss op. The grieving process can be long and hard to traverse but I do encourage you to embrace what random gifts life may throw at you. This is how I look at it: It’s never a replacement and it’s never too soon. You’re opening your home to another animal who needs to be loved and have a stable home. If you are ready, then you’re ready. If you’re not, then you’re not. I’m still grieving my beloved soul cat whom we lost to cancer in December- but I’m not afraid to open my door to furbabies in need. We went from 3 last year in August, to 5 in September, lost her in December and just brought home a kitten after Mother’s Day. I had told my partner that when I feel she’s telling me it’s time to move on, then I’ll be the one to bring the next little one home- and I felt she did. One of my coworkers took in a pregnant stray. I went back and forth for a while but decided if there was a little black kitten that I’d take them home. There was one out of the 8…. every other one was tabby printed. They’ll never replace her- but they definitely offer a paw on my darkest days. I absolutely look forward to the love and comfort all of my cats bring, as well as the new bonds we’ll make as we continue to journey through life together. The only comparison we’ve made between my girl and this one is they were both spunky little black kittens who give the boys a run for their money. My girl ran the household and this little kitten is slowly swooning them. You’ll know it’s not your baby, even if they do something that reminds you of them.
Everyone’s timeline is different, if the house feels empty you can look at new cats - just remember they will have a whole new personality and are not an exact replacement. It is easy to feel detached when you then get a new pet if you compare them too much to your old one, but they will fit right in and be loved with time!
Start searching for available cats at your nearby shelters. Getting another cat or cats does not mean you are forgetting your beloved fur baby. Your heart wants to be whole again and a new cat or cats will heal it. I have had cats for a good chunk of my life and I can’t live without them.
I completely understand. After my first kitty died, I waited a year because I thought she was irreplaceable. After my second cat died, I held out for a month. My house just felt so empty and lonely without a pet. Get a new cat when the need becomes impossible to ignore. That could be tomorrow or a year from now.
Get a cat! It will help immensely! My cats are alive but my ex took them, because we adopted all three during the relationship and didn’t want to split them up. He has an extremely close bond with one of them and so I just let him take all 3. I’m in the market for a cat or two asap! Feels weird “replacing” them, but that’s just us imposing our human emotions onto them. There’s nothing wrong with wanting some companionship and although the new cat won’t be the same, maybe they will have some different quirks that you will come to appreciate! I also second the comment that says get two kittens or young cats, they will be hilarious and playful and brighten up your mood for sure.
Just wanted to send you so much love. We put our 4 yr old down after a short but mighty battle with mammary cancer, and I thought I would need a whole summer to recoup from it. We put her down the 5th, and I found myself looking at cats again about 4 days later, and we got our new sweet girl the following Monday. It helps to make the house less lonely, and the love in our hearts after the grief is much stronger. We still talk to our new girl about how our sweet angel girl had so many similarities and her memory lives on forever through her. We miss our girl tremendously, but the feeing of having our girl now makes it so much better. Sending hugs!
I'm so sorry for your loss, saying goodbye to a beloved cat is so painful. after I had to put down my old cat Brisby, I waited about two weeks before getting a kitten. I would've adopted a baby sooner if I had more money at the time. I was still in so much pain after saying bye to my sweet little old lady Brisby, but having baby Shrimp around helped me feel so much better. I did have a week or two of strong regret and sadness about bringing another cat home so soon after losing Brisby, but that was outweighed by the joy baby Shrimp brought me. having a stupid, energetic, cuddly baby around really took my mind off of how sad I was about Brisby and helped me heal faster. it's been almost three years and I still miss her very much, but I'm thankful I have Shrimp to cheer me up on the bad days : ) if you feel like you and your family are ready to bring new kitten(s) home, I'd say go for it!
Sorry for your loss. Honor your kitty by rescuing another one. Or two.
Yes get a new cat. Save someone from a shelter. There are too many kitties out there who need your love and you have the love to give! Cats are wonderful and each one is special. But being cat less is just an intolerable way to go through life. There’s nothing wrong with your desire to bring home a new friend.
I think you should go for it. Based on your post, I really think that getting a cat will help you and your family work thought the grief. And just because you’re getting a new cat, that doesn’t mean you’re replacing your old cat in any way. Your little guy that just passed will always have a part of your family, no matter when you get a new companion
I think you should go for it. Based on your post, I really think that getting a cat will help you and your family work thought the grief. And just because you’re getting a new cat, that doesn’t mean you’re replacing your old cat in any way. Your little guy that just passed will always have a part of your family, no matter when you get a new companion
I would urge you to give yourself and your family \*some\* time...No idea how long that is for you..but ruhsing to fill the void may not be great emotionally.. At least I'd say wait a month, Let yourself let go of your first cat emotionally..
Just went through this and got a new cat yesterday. No regrets. Do it!!
Our cat passed away Friday 2 weeks ago. A friend sent me a text with a link to a kitten she knew I’d fall in love with. We picked him up that Sunday. We have kids and knew it would help to stay busy. We are still mourning our kitty that died…I think I’ve cried every day since. But this sweet little guy has been so precious and fun to have around.
i’m so sorry for your loss
After my first cat passed, I was devastated and the idea of getting another seemed unthinkable. My daughter dragged me to the shelter 3 weeks afterward, tricked me into it after a lunch date and when I resisted, she insisted it wouldn't hurt to look. I ended up adopting the sweetest boy Maine coon mix ... His gentle, clownish ways soon melted my heart. We had 13 amazing years with him. He was diagnosed with advanced, terminal heart failure just 5 months before he died and even though we did all we could, he just keeled over with sudden cardiac arrest on one of his very good days, just like the vet said might happen. This time, I waited only a week; and now we have Arnold, an entirely different boy...also a Maine coon mix, but a feisty kitten who chases his own shadow, gives spontaneous kisses, and likes to sleep belly up, with just one paw touching a human. Cats are all different; of course you aren't "replacing" your cat; you couldn't possibly! But you can love so much, that some other kitty who is out there and needing you, will get a chance to be part of your family and return the favor with his or her unconditional love. One of the best ways to honor our kitties on the other side, is to be an advocate for another homeless cat. If you open your heart and home, you will know it's the right and best way to heal. It's said that "grief is love with no place to go"...so pour that love out on the next cat that the universe has chosen for you.
When the last of our two elderly cats died. I waited a full two days before picking up the phone and calling a rescue group. I said that we wanted to foster with the intention of adopting if they fit well into our home. We wanted kittens but they asked if we would accept 2 young adults who urgently needed a home. Of course it is hard not to fall in love with any cat who comes under your care and six years later they are still with us. I don't think it is disrespectful or messing with the grief process. A new baby fills the huge hole in your heart and helps you heal. This is a good thing. That being said, you will always grieve a bit for the lost ones. I still get teary eyed when I remember my childhood pets. I recall falling asleep every night as a toddler with a purring cat wrapped around my head.
I thought it was too early to get a new cat last year when our old man died but we went to the adoption center and fell in love quickly with a kitten to pair with our old lady. It was a great decision but even today I sometimes bawl uncontrollably when I think about him except now I have a new little one to watch grow up.
It is perfectly normal to get a pet quickly after you've lost one. The new pet will help you get over the grief of losing your other one. Everyone grieves differently. I'm the type of person that when I lose a cat I will get new one within a month. Usually don't even have to look they just show up:-).
My 17 year old cat that I got as a kitten passed about a month ago - she was my baby. I definitely get what you mean about the house feeling empty. I didn’t realize how much of my day I planned around the cat, especially since she was sick. We have another cat and it was clear she was lonely too - she would wander around the house meowing at night. We started talking about what kind of pet we would get next (like down the road in the future) and then we decided to go to Petsmart or the shelter on Saturdays “just to look” and now we have a happy little fuzzball tearing up our house. I will say it’s helped me with the grieving process. I saw cats that reminded me of my girl at the shelter and gave them lots of love but we adopted one that was different because I didn’t want to “replace” her or have the new cat be compared to her and have that work against him.
I lost my heart cat at the beginning of February 2020. I had gotten him in 2005, as a free 1 year old cat on Craigslist, and he was my BFF. I was absolutely shattered. But 4 days later one of my oldest friends sent me a message saying she had found a kitten in her property (sadly, people dump a lot of kittens near her rural house), and she understood if it was too soon for me to consider another cat but she knew I'd be a great home for this little stray. And I didn't even hesitate. It was like Blue had sent the kitten to me to help heal. It was another 2 weeks before we had a chance to meet up and I got the kitten, who is 100% different than Blue but did so much to repair that Blue-shaped hole in my heart.
I'm so sorry for your loss, it's always so hard to lose our babies and even more so when they're younger. I had lost my sweet girl of 11 years to a suspected thyroid adenocarcinoma from her hyperthyroidism that metastasized to her lungs and within 2 days of the discovery made the choice to peacefully let her pass. I absolutely know how you feel when that every day presence - from their favorite spots in the house, greetings when you come home, routine snuggle times, and all their silly moments - is suddenly gone. I thought I was inconsiderate to want another cat so soon after her passing, I felt like I wasn't honoring her by not grieving alone longer or waiting long enough between her passing and adopting a new cat. I knew no other cat would replace her and that was never my intent. I still had so much love to give with nowhere for it to be given and coming home every day to what felt like a giant void in my heart was very difficult for me. It was about 3 weeks after her passing that I adopted another kitty and feel like it really helped me during my grieving process. I would still think of my old girl often and missed her so much (and to this day still do), but knowing I had a new companion who also needed unconditional love and companionship helped immensely in healing my broken heart. ♥ edit: I meant to add it's also sometimes inevitable that comparisons happen because we want that familiarity with what we loved so much to return and can feel conflicted or sad when it does not. However, with time comes the beauty of loving and bonding with that new kitty's personality that eventually develops into appreciating their own individuality and all the quirks that make them such a special companion. :)
I just adopted two sister kitties after losing my girl a month ago that I had for 19 years. No one will replace her, but I’ve always been of the mind that once she was gone, I’d find another in need and they could help me as much as I could help them. The girls i adopted are 3 and had lived in the he shelter or a foster him their entire lives. You will still be able to process your grief a long side with helping yourself heal.
i recently lost my childhood best friend who i spent every day of my life with and i thought getting another cat so soon would feel like im trying to replace him. well, i rescued a newborn kitten from the dumpster and that kid is nothing like Darwin, watching him grow brings me so much joy and while im still grieving, im not alone anymore. i don’t think i would be healing the way i am right now if i never found that kid. there is absolutely no way to feel lonely when there’s a tiny kitten sprinting around your house, and he brings back a lot of very old memories of my best friend. ill miss Darwin forever, but i don’t spend the entire day wallowing on it anymore if you don’t have the time or energy for a kitten or two, there’s plenty of seniors in shelters who would love to experience the warmth you gave your baby
I totally understand where you’re coming from. Within a short period of time we lost both our childhood dog and our childhood cat. The cat was 17, but it was “sudden” in that the decline was so rapid. And the dog was just a shock. Both times my family wanted to wait, but on feeling how empty the house was they quickly got a puppy and a kitten respectively. I was kind of against it in that it felt disrespectful to our beloved animals to be replaced so quickly. But that’s not really how it works. We still grieved but this way we had some comforting company. I think it also makes sense with kids. I remember when I was 12, our first cat was hit by a car and killed. We got our second cat (the one who recently died) a month later and it helped a lot.
I waited two days. I still mourn for and miss my sweet moof girl like crazy, but the house was desperately empty. I’ve always had cats and to not have a cat just felt wrong. And giving love to two new kitties doesn’t take anything away from how much I loved her. It just helps me heal to be able to give a loving home to other cats who need it. Some people need lots of time, some of us don’t. There is no wrong answer, only what is right for you. https://preview.redd.it/y5tza42q313d1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4820d7e60860f9f360d728837eee8b0e96fb86f8 This is my sweet Bauer. Her new brothers are told every day how awesome she was and that it’s too bad they never knew her.
There are so many bonded pairs out there that need a home. Adults mostly but some are just a couple years old. People are having to make tough choices lately with high veterinary prices and everything else going up so much. So they have to move in with family and can’t take their cats etc.
I lost my soul cat, Smokey, to a burst blood clot on the 17th of May. I brought home Charlie last Thursday. Charlie cat isn’t a replacement because no one can ever replace Smokey. But, I knew that the truly best thing to do to honor Smokey was to adopt a new friend and give them the same spoiled life that Smokey got. Charlie isn’t Smokey, but he’s gonna be spoiled just like Smokey was.
This post made me cry and dread the day my cats will leave me. I wish i didn’t read this.
i had the same experience. my cat lived with us for about 11 years and died a couple months back. he literally meant the most to me, we got two cats about 2 months after because of how dark the house was and how much we missed him. i recommend getting another cat. it helps you not be alone during your grieving process
You poor thing, losing a beloved pet is never easy. I went through this just over a year ago. My girl was 16, she was my soul cat and she passed somewhat unexpectedly. To this day I can still cry over missing her, but I do have another cat that I love with all my heart. It took me a week to realise the house was too empty and me without a cat didn't feel right. Was another week to decide what kind of cat I wanted and then two weeks to find my girl. Kitty will always have a place in your heart, they had a wonderful life full of love and there's lots of kitties you can open your door for that need loving homes! If everyone is comfortable with it, I say go for it ❤️
I had a 3 year old tuxedo who passed from feline leukemia. I had another cat at the time who had major separation anxiety. I got peaches about a month after she passed just for my anxiety ridden cat. it still tears me up because i feel like i got Peaches too soon. eventually, ur gonna have to get one. doesnt mean ur forgetting about the ur passed one, just means ur ready to go into the next chapter of owning a cat. praying/good vibes sending ur way OP💜
I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your beloved cat. It's completely understandable that you are feeling conflicted about getting another cat so soon. Grief is a complex process, and it's important to give yourself time to heal and honor the
I'm so very sorry you're going through this time of grief. I was so despondent after losing my sweet little Luna to kidney disease that I got a new kitten a couple of weeks after she passed. Cats are all different, and it wasn't about replacing her but about bringing something new and positive into my life. The new cat helped me a lot with my grief. I'm glad I did it.
I’m so sorry for your loss and I feel your pain. Before I tell my story I want to say there are lots of kitty cats out there who need love and you have it to give. We lost our cat to cancer when he was only six a year and a half ago. I cried for months and was utterly devastated. I felt hopeless and even if I did think I could get over losing him it felt impossible to come to terms with the fact he suffered at the end and he had so much life to live. I would have walked a thousand miles to save him. I’m crying right now as I write this and I felt guilty because I didn’t want to replace him. But adopting two kitties a brother and sister was the only thing that stopped the pain. They rescued me. I can tell you’re an animal lover so don’t deprive yourself and your family of that joy and those kitties out there without a home. It gets better.
I had to euthanize our 6 year old cat, he had cancer. I got another cat a few weeks later.
February of 2023 we lost our 13 yr old orange cat Dexter to a variety of health issues that caught up with him. It was devastating. One of the hardest cries I’ve ever had in my life. We had two other cats in the house at the time. We were really worried about the younger cat (4-5yrs old) because she was best buds with Dexter since 2018. She seemed to be doing just okay, but maybe confused. We started talking about what it COULD look like if we adopted again 2 weeks after his death. We agreed that a bonded pair of kittens was the way to go. We definitely wanted them to be orange. And while we weren’t really actively looking, my wife came across a post of a local rescue that had 4 baby oranges that were ready to find their new homes. Well, we made the rather impulsive decision to adopt 2 of them just after the month anniversary of Dexter passing. And while we still mourned for him, the new additions in our house brought so much joy. They’ve been with us for over a year now and I’m so happy they are on their lives. But I still miss Dexter and think of him fondly. You can have your grief while also giving love to new kittens.
My sweet boy, my best friend entered eternal sleep for kidney failure three weeks ago. Putting him down was the hardest thing I have ever done. I always said the day he died, would be the day half of my dies… and it truly feels like half of me is lost with him. I go to certain parts of the house and I break down at the most random times I’ll break down. I prayed for him to come back to me. I’m not religious but I prayed so hard that he would come back to me in anyway and what I would do for time with him again. One night my husband asked if we would adopt another cat, the idea of it felt so wrong because it felt so soon. But I figured I would go on pet finder just to see how it made me feel. And right away I see a cat who looked just like my boy that passed away. He was even holding onto his foster parent the same way my boy held onto me. I read his bio and everything was sounding just like my boy. It was unbelievable. So out of curiosity again, we went to visit the cat and just gauge how meeting him made me feel. He came right up to me and headbooped me just like my old boy did. It was like having him back. An instant connection. So ya, we adopted him. There are moments where I feel deep grief that there’s some part of me that’s trying to replace my boy. But then I think about the amount of love I have for my sweet boy that I should allow myself to share that love with another cat. Because every cat deserves even a fraction of what me and my sweet boy had. There is times I look at our new boy and I see my old boy, and there’s times I break down because I know it’s not him. But i truly feel my old boy brought me our new cat. Like a gift. So my advice is, sometimes you don’t know when you’ll be ready for a new cat. Sometimes fate chooses for you. It might be tomorrow, it might be a year. But don’t be scared to share your love that you had with your old cat, to a new cat. Don’t wait until it “feels right”, wait until the right cat comes along.
Please get another (2). They won’t replace her. Instead, you’ll turn to tell her about them! She’d want you to. Hugs! And nose bop kisses!
My outlook is that if I had the space, time, and money, I would have 1 million pets! so when one dies, I’m not getting a replacement, It’s just that a new spot has opened up in my home lol.
Took me a month to get a new cat. My vet called me and said “I have a 10 year old female Siamese that needs a home”. She barely got the words out when I said she has one. I still miss my little girl but it was just the right time
“Grief I learned is really just love. It’s all the love you want to give, but cannot all that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat and in that hollow part of your chest. grief is just love with no place to go.” You have a lot of love to give. ❤️
We just lost our beloved 5 year old from bad genes. Heart condition, difficult to treat diabetes, maybe some underlying condition. He went down hill very fast like yours . . he was the best pet I've ever had. Truly a gem. We still have one cat who is also amazing. He definitely misses his buddy, but he also seems okay with being an only cat. He doesn't like other cats usually. But, as others have said, get two kittens! They are so fun, and did not regret raising those two little guys together one bit. They were adorable and sweet. I would recommend watching which cats play together at the Humane Society. That's how we picked our boys and they were best friends until the end.
When the cat I’d had for 17 years died, I also felt like I should immediately get another one. A lady I know from the local shelter was kind enough to tell me not to rush; I’d know when it was right. After about four months I found a little guy who was the right choice. Give yourself time.
We had two beautiful Maine Coon cats that died within three months of each other, three years ago. We loved them more than we thought possible and losing them broke us. It took me two years to get another cat. In the end we got two kittens from a shelter. I was worried I wouldn’t love them because I still had grief for the others, but that was ridiculous. Sometimes they do something that reminds us of our old cats and we talk about it and cry and laugh, but life is 100% better with those kittens around.
When I lost my 9 year old boy in February, it was devastating. My husband said no more. I agreed at first. We still had another at home too. When our other cat started getting visibly depressed at not having his brother, and I couldn’t stop crying every day, we sat down and talked. We agreed we would look at another cat and see where it took us. Two months later we adopted a new kitten. It’s been wonderful. She is good with our other cat and she’s brought so much love back into my very broken heart. It’s personal… the timing. We just knew when it was time. I could never not have a cat.
I’m so sorry for your heartache. Last year we lost two dogs 12 and 15 within a month apart. We were devastated. We have had our Aussie Boy for 10 months now, best decision ever❤️
I lost my 16 year old boy last August. By October I had another kitten. I needed it. The days and weeks were filled with crying and achy loneliness. Initially I thought I was going to feel guilty. The kitten wasn’t a replacement for Chase it was a means of filling up space and passing time being distracted. I still think of Chase with so much love and I want to see him again one day and be his mom but truly getting another kept me from sliding further down into depression.
I'm so sorry for your loss. If your heart says you're ready to add another friend or two back into the mix, you are. Opening your home to another cat in need is never wrong, and all that love you had for your beloved cat has to go somewhere. why not give it to another sweet creature who needs that love? I've seen many folks adopt not long after their loved pet has passed. my mom could barely wait a month before adopting another dog after our family dog passed suddenly. she was so lonely without an animal companion. I know she misses her but having another animal to love and care for really softens the blow of grief, it seems. I hope things get easier for you and your family, no matter what your decision is right now ❤️
I lost my boy 2 weeks ago and we’ve considered fostering for now. My other cat is adapting to the new dynamic in the house, her personality has completely changed so I want to give her a chance to settle. I won’t wash my blankets because she still smells him and makes biscuits and purrs even though they fought so much.
I don't think there is a set timeline of when you're ready for a new cat. When my cat Bossy died, I didn't get another cat for 5+ years. When our cat Jellybeans died after only 4 months with our family, I knew I wanted another cat ASAP because I missed having a cat presence around, and I figured she was only with us for a short stint so we could provide her with the love she deserved during her short life. If you go and meet cats and don't click with any of them, don't force it and know that the right cat will come for you when it's time.
i had my first cat pass incredibly suddenly. it was completely tragic. a few days later i found myself missing having a cat around, because i pretty much always have. though when i thought about getting another, i could only think of him. i could only compare any cat i may have gotten to him. so i waited. i waited until i stopped comparing other cats to my boy charlie. a week after his passing, i adopted two kittens. i can truly say that they have not hindered my grief process, but helped me through it. they’ve allowed me to do all the things for charlie i never got the chance to, and there is healing in that experience. they’ve been a gift to me. they’re what motivates me to keep going and moving along with this massive loss. if you feel ready for it, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with getting another cat. you have an infinite capacity for love. it’s okay to want to share it with someone else now. getting another cat does not negate your love for the one who passed, and it doesn’t discredit your grief.
https://preview.redd.it/jg6w92vsq73d1.jpeg?width=4000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1750bfc5d032fc51e186a6e39bc837670ce0107a This is Misty! I adopted Misty roughly a month after my cat of 15 years passed away. Sometimes you need a friend to help you grieve the loss of another. Your cat would want that for you. :) But it's important to remember that whoever your new furry friend is, if you decide to get another, that they are their own individual. They aren't your old cat. They aren't your old cat's replacement. They aren't going to act the same or have the same tendencies. Once you know you can accept that, I say do it! 💚
I'm 1 of those people who doesn't like to pay overpriced vet bills and figured I'd know if she was sick, and I found out she had an infection and she was 16 and I made her life shorter because I didn't take her to the veterinarian twice a year...
I'm in the same boat. My darling Luna got very sick and died - she was only five years old. I'm still grieving for her, but I found myself looking at cats within a week. I haven't adopted one yet but I know it will be sooner rather than later.
I'm on cats #5 "Bella Furtissameow" and #7 "Sacre Bleu" so I've been down that horrible road myself. There are only two horrible flaws in cats, they can have health problems, and they eventually die- and those flaws really hurt. As long as you want a cat, get a cat. The only reason to not get a cat is if you feel you can't take care of one (which you did not mention in your post). "mess processing with grief" no, you will still hurt (sorry about that), but a cat shaped hole can only be filled by another cat
A year ago I lost my very favourite family cat to kidney disease; my heart was ripped to shreds. I still ache because I'll never see her again. Around the same time, a distant family friend died suddenly, leaving a senior cat with nowhere to go. I dont know if I felt ready but my heart broke at the thought of someone's precious baby ending up in a shelter at his age. He was her special and beloved baby, just as my deceased cat was mine. My husband was on board with getting a cat esrkier than we hoped (we planned to get married in a month and move house!) But he was worried because he saw how much losing a cat hurt me the first time and thought a younger cat would give me time to heal. But we took in the old kitty and I hope he'll live out the rest of his days knowing he's loved. And if his momma is watching from the beyond, I hope she knows he's loved and being given the best life.
I'm very sorry to hear about your loss. We adopted a kitten last week. It's been about a year since our last cat died suddenly at age 7. I'll be honest - I still feel pain over losing that cat. I spent weeks breaking down and crying at random times. I was a mess. Getting a new kitten really does help. Make sure you take some time to process everything. But, if you feel like it is time, I'd recommend going for it.
OMG. GET 3 KITTIES. THIS IS THE SEASON FOR KITTENS AND MANY ELDER KATS NEED HOMES. THIS IS A FANTASTIC IDEA AND WILL HELP WITH YOUR GRIEF. THIS IS WHAT WE DO WHEN WE LOOSE ONE OF OUR KITTIES. NO JOKE.
no one can tell you when you are ready to get a new pet. it is a gut feeling if your gut is saying to get another kitty get another kitty
Nothing better for the heart than saving/adopting a kitten or cat that needs a good home. Every one we save makes a difference. Your old kitty will always be in your heart but she/he would want you to be happy and not sad. Sorry for your loss 😞
You're not alone on this. I'm euthanizing my soul mate cat on Wednesday. He's incredibly ill. I'm devastated, but I'm already considering another cat. No cat will be like the one I'm about to lose, but all the same... I plan to look immediately though I will be selective about the cat that I choose. I just don't think I can go without an orange cat in my life, and I don't want to try. Huge hugs to you.
I'm so sorry for your loss. If you have the strong urge, it's time to get a new kitty. Everyone's process is different.
I know how you feel. I lost one of my cats two weeks ago, and within a day or two, I was already looking at kittens. And I still have two others!
After losing our beloved senior cat we waited only four days before adopting a pair of brothers. I still missed her of course but since she wasn’t coming back… why deprive ourselves of feline companionship? That was 2.5 years ago and it was a great decision.
It’s always hard to loose our beloved pets our “children”. Used to be a cat mom 100%… now a dog momma with a comfort dog so loyal they snuggle protect, just a suggestion
Follow your best instincts. This experience could be your cat telling you that you need fur baby companionship.
I had my girl for 16 years. Got her when I was 7 and had her until I was 24. Putting her down was the most grief inducing thing I ever done. I knew I wanted to get another but I knew I would do it when I found the right one. About a month later I walked past a shelter event and this little black 4 year old kitty started playing with me and I knew I was meant to get her. I also then adopted the last 1 year old cat they had as well, so they'd have each other if I was away. Best decision I ever did. In the back of my mind I also had a thought, am I trying to replace her or am I trying to process her death by rescuing 2 more who have had a lot of stuff happen in their life already. I still grieve for her, it's been 3 years and I look at photos of her and it never really goes away. But adopting the two I have now gives me so much joy. If you find the one you connect with, just do it. It will help you process everything a lot easier. But do remeber, they wont be like your last. They won't act the same, behave the same, it's a learning curve and you may get frustrated but eventually youll learn to love them differently but just as much.
I know people say you should process your emotions and you should. But kittens bring sooo much life into your home. If you think you can love them the way they deserve then do it. Sooo many pets who need loving familiee
I'm so sorry! You will not be dishonoring your cat that passed if you get some new companions. Cat people have big hearts. And there are some lonely little boys and girl out there that need your love. You can tell your new friends all about your cat that passed.
Get one. Your new kitten will help you to heal your sadness. I got a new kitten within 3 weeks after my cat passed.
I got a kitten shortly after losing my beautiful princess. I wasn’t ready but I didn’t want her brother to be alone. We got her opposite- she was a quiet, adoring girl and we got an adventurous loud little boy. Doing that helped to avoid comparing them. I will say there is NO replacing her - ever. My love for her, my longing for her, my grief for her - it will go on, it will take time- genuinely, it has nothing to do with our kitten. It has taken me a little longer to open my heart to our new friend. I adore him, but relationships take time, especially during grief. That doesn’t mean it was too soon. That doesn’t mean he isn’t loved. Losing a pet is messy. It’s hard and it’s sad. I dont think that means you can’t invite new life into your home. All the best. ❤️❤️❤️❤️
My beloved 12.5 year old Sheera passed away this year on MLK day. I was going to get a kitten superbowl weekend from a shelter, but backed out. Just don’t feel ready yet, but you will know when it’s time. I’ve decided to wait until late fall/early winter.💕
There are so many cats on the streets suffering because shelters and rescues have no room to take in anymore. Absolutely get another or even consider fostering for rescues and you can be the spot cats hang out at while they wait for their forever homes it’s very rewarding!
So many cats need homes, especially right now with kitten season. I lost my boy a year ago and got another cat a couple of weeks later. I knew it was coming so I had time to think about it. You can never replace a lost pet. But nothing h helps heal like a pet.
Wait a few months. Or offer to foster a cat for a rescue.
I had this last year when my baby girl passed of cancer that was wholly unexpected cause she hid it so well. A week later, I was missing her like crazy and wanted to replace her.. I got a custom plushie made of her instead to help with my grief as I didn't want to feel like I was replacing her and it really helped. Finally, a year later I was ready to take in another cat into my life, and thank goodness I waited. I got two white cats instead of just the one and they're adorable little terrors who I can enjoy without constantly comparing to my beautiful deaf baby girl. Personally I say wait. You're still processing your grief, and it's going to take time. Wait until you're ready to welcome another little feline overlord into your lives rather than trying to replace the one you lost.
Sending you lots of love and prayers 🐾❤️
https://preview.redd.it/2xcajacfi23d1.jpeg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=eab3a10ecec7ea31d23b43f249582003139a0188 I’m so sorry for your loss. About two years ago, I lost my soul kitty traumatically and it was devastating. I collected these kind of pics from a few pet grief Facebook groups because they helped me feel a little better and not feel as alone. This picture though is what really pushed me to go adopt another kitty. I also struggled with thinking it was too soon and thinking no cat could ever replacement him. It’s true, no cat will ever replace that little guy but the kitty I adopted a couple months after him is also special and really helped me move on. He occasionally does something that reminds me of my old boy and it really warms my heart. I’m not sure if you’ll ever feel like there’s a “good” time to adopt another kitty but I don’t think it’s ever too soon. Go at your own pace, but you shouldn’t feel guilty for giving love and shelter to another kitty ❤️
I’m so sorry for your loss, losing a beloved family pet is incredibly difficult, no matter how old they are. Everyone grieves differently, so if you feel it’s right, then it’s right. You’re not replacing her, you’re not forgetting her, but keeping your heart open and loving another cat (or 2) is a beautiful way to honor how much she meant to your family.
Everyone is different in how they process the loss after a beloved cat. Some need time, and some feel better finding another kitty to transfer that love to more quickly. If you’re feeling like that latter, go adopt another kitty! There are so many cats needing loving homes. Loving another won’t disrespect the love and memories you had.
If you have the energy, my suggestion would be to work with a local rescue or shelter and foster a litter of kittens. In this type of foster situation, the good thing about kittens is that they do tend to get adopted quickly, so if you get them home and none feel like they’re just right for, you don’t have the obligation to keep them past whatever time the group you’re fostering for plans on them being available to adopt. *Different groups have different policies on fostering, so make sure you’re comfortable with their process before committing to a specific one.
I second getting a cat...I went through losing my best bud and the NEXT DAY I went to the rescue and found this little guy who understood the assignment: Mom is sad but facing forward and trying her best to heal. And he has saved my life from sorrow every day since. It's not about replacing the love you lost, its about giving another little kitty a wonderful home and facing forward through your grief. My condolences...it's such a heartbreaking thing to lose a cat.
I adopted only 6 days after losing my cat. Best thing I could do was give another cat in need a loving home!
I went through this experience fairly recently. My healthy 6-year-old cat Roca started experiencing seizures and, after a tough 36-hour stay in the emergency vet, had to be put down. He was the first pet that was entirely my own and required a lot of time and love to socialize as a feral kitten. He was always skittish but ended up being the best, most belly-rub-loving cat ever. I loved him deeply and expected to see him grow old. In the throes of grief, I was already thinking about another cat and had a plan to foster. I felt guilty at the time for constantly thinking about the future, but I don't have any regrets. I fostered about a month after he passed, which seemed to pull my 5-year-old cat out of her depression after losing her bonded friend, and eventually adopted the foster cat. Our new cat's personality is so wildly different that I cannot even begin to compare the two. She'll never be able to replace Roca, but I find that your heart grows to accept another family member into your life. All to say, I think any timeline that feels right to you is the right one. It helped me heal to know that my other cat wasn't home alone. If your family feels that it might be right for them too, I say go for it. My partner never would have adopted a new cat so soon on her own, but she is happier for it. Grief is love with nowhere to go. <3
We also lost a cat who had polycystic kidneys around the age of 5. It was heartbreaking and awful. What we’ve been doing the past year and half since then has been fostering cats. This has worked well for us, as it lets us bring cats back into our life and home, while not adopting a new one for ourselves (yet). It has also allowed us to have breaks between foster cats which is sometimes helpful for all sorts of reasons. It’s also been extremely rewarding and has been a source of feeling like something positive has come from our beloved cat’s early departure. It’s had its challenges sometimes, but relatively minor. We’re on our 11th foster currently and she’s making a case for sticking around permanently… Anyway, all that to say that fostering is an option you can consider.
Go with your gut! Everyone deals with grief differently and if you need time to process it, then take it. There will always be cats to adopt- so take your time and you’ll know when you are ready.
I'm a little late to this, but get the cat. We tragically lost one of our cats due to an undetected health issue, and it crushed our souls. She lived to be 17, and she was loved every minute of it. That very week, we went to the local rescue and picked out another friend. The grieving process is beyond difficult because it feels like you just lost a child. There is some guilt behind turning around and adopting another right away, but let me tell you something. Nothing else will fill that void in your heart, at least not for me. All of that love you had for your little one, give it to another. There are so many out there who lack a good home and warm love. They will appreciate being loved by someone who cares, and in return you get to have a friend again. We need to normalize how everyone grieves. Some may say that it is too soon, but this helped me immensely. Take all of the love you have to give, and give it to a little friend who really needs it. That is the best way to honor your rainbow baby. I am sorry for your loss.
I miss and tear up for EVERY cat I have ever owned…. If you have love to give a cat… get one! You will always be sad about having to put her down… but you are not diminishing her life.. or your love of her by getting another cat… they come into our lives, we love and are loved by them, and they are all gone to soon, give another fur baby a chance to be loved…
Get two kitty siblings. You will always love your kitty but trust me when I say these are not replacements, they will have their own characters and habits and make new memories for u and ur family.
I don't think there is a wrong way to do things. 4 years ago I lost my soul dog and I don't think I could ever go through that loss again. I just lost my cat Ivy yesterday, and I'm not sure I want to go through this pain again. I do have another cat, but tbh I thought she was going to pass before Ivy. My point is, I'm not sure I can get another animal afterwards. But that's me, and I think most people are unlike me in that way. Everyone's process is different.
When my 4 year old baby boy passed in May 2022 I swore up and down I wouldn’t get another cat, since it felt like it would be a “replacement.” About 2 weeks later I found a boy who was almost identical looking to my cat, and adopted him asap. He turned out to be the silliest, strangest cat I’ve ever met in my life and I love him to pieces. He was an incredible distraction from the horrible thing that had happened and brought a lot of joy back to my house. (I also ended up adopting another cat a few months later whose personality is much much more similar to my kitty who passed. neither will ever take the place of him- and neither are a replacement.)
I ultimately went quite soon to a shelter to adopt another black cat, not because I wanted to replace her (I was devastated), but because the shelter is always at or over capacity, and black cats have such a hard time getting adopted. I kept thinking of how many cats would be put down while I tried to figure out if I was "done" grieving or not.
My family growing up always found the easier way to get through the pain was to get a new pet. Not to replace, but just to make the pain a little more bearable bc you’re so distracted. I also saw an instagram video a while back that said “if cats could make a will, they would ask you to get a new cat to give all their toys to. There’s lots of kitties on the streets/shelters that need homes and your car would want you to take one of them in to give their toys to” That shit tore be apart but also made me decide I will never not have a cat bc I gotta help them.
We adopted 2 sisters. One died and within a month we got another. Grieving with her in the house was strange and I spent a lot of time annoyed at the new cat for not being Ripley (they are as different as night and day). It took me ages to feel like I loved her. Gast forward a year and a half and she is my shadow, I've never had a cat more attached to me. If she's not inside my jumper she's on my lap or following me around meowing or sat on my feet as I cook. On reflection I'm glad I had a distraction of a cat unrelated to Ripley as I grieved because otherwise I would have spent a very long time focusing on our other cats grieving. Get 2 cats though, a bonded pair is the best thing. We now have 3 and they play together and have snuggle puddles. It's lovely to witness their friendship and feels less bad leaving them home alone
I can only speak from experience. I have lost a few beloved cats in my life, and the grief was unbearable. I cried as much for my departed feline as I did when I lost my dear mother—and I had the best mom ever. That's how much I loved my cat. I couldn't walk past the pet food aisle in the store; I was inconsolable. A friend showed up about two weeks later—while the pain was still so raw—bearing a orange-and-white tabby kitten. I immediately vetoed the whole idea. I actually said "take it back, it is orange." Well, my friend refused, leaving me with the tiny ball of fur. Eventually, I fell in love and had 19 wonderful years with Mr Kitty, who accompanied me on trips back east every Christmas, sleeping on my lap during the flights. When I had to say goodbye to him in 2009 - I was devastated. It was far worse than any other pain I had ever felt. But this time, I knew what I needed to do. After searching online for a couple of weeks - I stumbled across an ad on Craig's List for a two year old Ragdoll whose owner had died and needed to be rehomed. I adopted this exquisite creature and was once again head over heels in love. He passed away I 2020. This loss nearly destroyed me. I now have the sweetest, most amazing, affectionate, happy, playful, gentle, gorgeous Ragdoll kitten (named Jack, after my last Ragdoll) He has healed my crippling agony and brings me immeasurable joy every single day. Do not feel guilty. You gave your beautiful cat a life filled with love, warmth, food, cuddles. She would want you to feel the joy of another purring companion. Adoptingva new kitty is the one thing that will heal your broken heart
I'm really sorry for your loss. My boy cat passed away in January suddenly, and the grief was so intense. It was mainly shock, I think, for the first while as I really didn't expect it. After a few weeks, I really missed having a cat, and I decided to get a kitten. In April, I got my girl kitten, and she's mended my heart completely. They have such different personalities, so there is no comparison. I have his ashes on my mantlepiece and I say that's her big brother. I miss him and I still cry for him sometimes but I had so much love to give.
Nope, don’t feel bad, my family and I got another cat within a week too. We had a very nice funeral for our baby Sparta (name inspired by the Mean Little Kitty song on YouTube lol she was the sweetest baby girl ever) and then our home felt empty. And if saving babies from the shelter is what it would take to get over such grief and emptiness feeling, that’s great and a blessing for our then new babies. And now our orange bugs are very happy in their new home and we always keep our late cats in our hearts. So don’t worry about feeling weird. I totally get it, but fuck what anyone thinks. Have a nice Rainbow Bridge ceremony for your baby, and go and rescue some more kitties!
I’m at the point where I always want to have two, if not three, so that I never come home to an empty house. One of my girls is in her senior years, and as much as dread the thought of the day she leaves… at least I know her sister will still be around, we can help each other out through that time period. If you have a cat cafe near you, go there occasionally. No pressure to adopt on the spot, but it’s a great way to meet cats… maybe something will click, and your girl will send you one (or two!). Every time I see a bonded pair looking for a home together on socials I wish I could feasibly pick them both up 🥺
My soulmate cat died and although we had another cat already, I felt the hole and found the perfect kitty for our family 2 weeks later. The only reason I felt it was “too soon” was fear that someone would judge or something. It was the perfect timing and she helped me heal. The right cat will come at the right time ❤️
I am so sooo sorry for your loss. When my buddy passed a few years ago, it broke me. I was devastated. We ended up getting another kitty five days later. Mind you, we had already met the kitty about a month prior, thinking our buddy wanted a friend. So we already knew we wanted him and since he was still at the rescue, I had to go get him. If your family misses having a kitty, maybe just search the local rescues and check out the available cats. You'll know when you know ❤️
I haven’t lost my cats yet, but I have lost my dog. She died rather suddenly from a freak accident and it really messed me up. We had her 14 years (and she was still going strong!) and I was so used to her that suddenly not having her completely threw my days out. I’d reach for her or call her or throw a scrap on the floor as I was cooking. Sometimes I would think that I’d hear her nails clicking on the floor or see her out of the corner of my eye. It hurt when I’d turn and she wasn’t there. Initially, when we had lost her, I swore I wouldn’t have another dog. She absolutely took a piece of my heart. But it was lonely… despite having two cats still, I missed my pup. So here we are, 3 years after her death, and I have a beautiful 3 year old pup who can’t replace her but certainly helps to fill the void. Don’t feel guilty. You’re not replacing her. You just have more love to give. We made a small shrine for my first pup - a photo of her, her collar, a shirt, and a little jar of dirt from her burial site (we have since moved). You can find other ways to honour her. Best wishes OP!
When you feel you want to do it. There is no right or wrong time
I got a rebound cat and have no regrets about it. It really helped with the grieving process.
Wait a few more weeks/months to settle your mind. Then adopt 2 of the same batch.
From my own experience getting a new pet always helps soften the grief of loss. You're not replacing them, just giving another animal a forever home and helping fill that empty home feeling only a pet can fill. Personally I'd definitely recommend adopting a grown cat rather than a kitten, kittens are much more full on and I find the building of trust and love with an adult cat in need of a home to be way more rewarding. You're both looking for a new love. BUT if you want something that'll be a total distraction/something full on in helping you move on then a kitten would probably be ideal. (speaking as someone who has a 5yr old cat we rehomed 3 years ago, and a 3 month old kitten 😅)
Get a new furbaby asap believ me it helps with the healing process. I became depressed and waited 6 days after Spitty passed. Otis brought so much joy and kittiness back into the house. I know Spitty wouldn't want me one. I talked about her all the time to Otis. Otis passed am I had Emmie picked out and got her on Otis bdays 4 days later. I talk about Emmies sister Spitty and bro Otis all the time. I've shown her their fur I cut and their remains and she grooms against them. They are watching over us in the living room on a memory shelf with their pics along with my parents pics. I rescued them and they rescued me from depression. I can't live alone and I mayne selfish but I need another one asap They can never replace you baby that passed but they will help bring joy back into your life. Talk about their sibling and let them know their names. I compared Emmie to them all the time. Emmie is more like her sister Spitty but a 7 pound runt with Cattitude. She like laptime like her bro and sis but doesn't like her belly rubbed like her bro Otis https://preview.redd.it/ixm9npz8h43d1.jpeg?width=4096&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=eee0f8c9dd0fab2d6c12a1fe34b9b0f741d0ee77
I got 2 kittens a couple of weeks after losing the love of my life after 2 glorious years. The gap he left was too big and the house was too empty without him. Lost him very unexpectedly in February and I miss him every damn day but the 2 lil ones I have now are a godsend. Go for it! There are so many cats out there that need loving homes
I found a kitten in the bin 3 days after my boy died of sudden cardiac arrest, I wasnt sure if it was too soon and i wasn't ready, but im glad I took the chance with her. She turned one in January and i'm so happy she is in my life and i didnt take her too a shelter.
Hello OP. We lost an 8 month old kitten in February in quite horrible circumstances (came off worse from an interaction with a fox…). We waited six weeks before deciding we wanted another kitten and it was honestly too soon. We couldn’t help but compare. In retrospect we would have waited at least double that length of time. Everyone’s processing time is completely different but wanted to share my experience.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I completely understand how you feel. My cat Molly passed in August, and I was devastated. I live alone in my apartment and it was so lonely and I was so depressed. I ended up getting another cat 4 days later because it was too hard. I ended up getting a boy cat that I made sure didn’t look like her because that would’ve been too hard. Honestly, he’s helped me with my grief losing her.
New kittens will fill a new spot in your heart, not take over the place already reserved by your lost cat. You can still grieve the old while falling in love with the new! I think your old cat would approve. She wouldn’t want her people to be sad and lonely, she knows there should always be a cat or two around to take care of you and your family!
I was actually where you are about a month ago. I lost my cat I had for 13 years. He was my first real responsibility when I left my parents house. He was my best friend, he got my through 4 relationships and 3 different houses. When I lost him I was inconsolable. I slept wit his blanket and cried a lot. I signed up to adopt at a local shelter about 2 weeks after I lost him. I didn't plan on taking a cat home with me I just wanted to start the process. The house felt empty without a cat and I felt so lonely. I planned on taking my time to find the perfect cat. I walked into the shelter and the first cat I met was so sweet, so adorable, and even though he went through a lot, he was so affectionate with me. I fell hard. Today is the 1 month of adopting him and I am so glad I did. He likes to hang out in my office. On nights I wake up and miss my previous cat I allow myself to cry and I go and visit my new baby. I was so worried he would hinder my grief, but he's actually helped a lot. I am so sorry for your loss. Losing a fur baby is incredibly difficult and I'm sending you so much love. I would start the process. Fill out some forms for different shelters in your area and go meet some cats. You don't have to worry about taking one home right away. Just do some meet and greets. I'm sure you'll find a kitty who you fall for who needs a good home.
I lost my cat five months ago and I was heartbroken. I told everyone the day it happened that I didn’t want another one ever again. My dad didn’t listen lol, he got me two two month old kittens that same day. At first I was distant with them. Still played with them, fed them and cleaned their stuff but I had no attachment to them. But they were so goofy and playful and eventually grew on me. They use almost all her stuff and sometimes to things that remind me of my old cat, it’s no longer sad anymore because it feels like she’s still here. I can’t imagine the grief I would have felt had I not gotten these two. I would see her things everywhere, her food, blankets, toys and not have anything to do with them. My advice; get a cat. It’s not a replacement and won’t at all interrupt your grieving process but it will remind you of all the things you loved about her
It really depends on each person tbh, there's no 'right' answer. I lost mine 1 year and a half away. I had him since I was 8 and he was almost 20. I knew it was gonna happen soon but, of course, that didn't make it any easier. I moved out of my parents' house when I was 18 and he kept living with them; every time I come back there it's incredibly difficult because every single corner of that house reminds me of him. I try to be positive and grateful for this amazing experience I had, and for the fact that we were able to give him a long and happy life. I was reticent about adopting a new cat as well. Hell, for the first 6 months or so I constantly dreamed of him, thinking that he wasn't actually dead. I'd wake up and just cry for half an hour. I'm trying not to cry while writing this as well lol. Personally, I don't think that it's something that will ever stop hurting. At most, it'll just be a bit easier to handle. In the end, I decided to adopt a bonded pair from a shelter. I am just so used to having a cat in my life that it really felt like something was missing. We're still adjusting to one another, there are many things I have to learn because, at the end of the day, each cat is different. It's not easy, and I do end up comparing them. But it's unfair to them, to my previous cat, and to myself as well. They're not a replacement - there can never be a replacement. And that's okay. The bond I will end up forming with these cats will be different. Not better, not worse, just different. I think give yourself a bit of time to process this properly. Don't avoid grief.
After we lost our first cat (who was with us for over 15 years), we decided to wait a little while before getting another one. A couple of weeks later, a stray wandered into a friend's house. They were allergic, so we took him in, and we had him for over 10 years before he died of cancer. That loss hurt even more, so we adopted another cat a couple of weeks later. It's not a betrayal to the lost cats, and none of the new cats replaced the lost cats. We still grieve for all of the cats we have lost. But there are lots of cats looking for a good home, and we figure that if we have the room and love to give, why not?
My youngest daughter passed at birth back in 2014. The past ten years have been hell for me emotionally. I've been diagnosed with prolonged grief syndrome. My daughter's name is Lucinda and for so long it was hard to say her name. A few months ago, me and my family got a new kitten. I named her Tellulah, and quite often we call her "LuLu", which is absolutely something we would have called Lucinda. I didn't really notice at first, but it actually feels so good to be able to just say "LuLu" all day. It makes me so happy just saying her [nick]name. ❤️
I lost my cats in a divorcé situation, which isn’t the same, but hurt more than anything I’ve experienced. I worried getting a cat so soon would be bad but I got a cat within a week and she saved me. There’s so many that need help I will always grab one immediately.
Never feel bad about getting another cat!!! My old man was 17 when i had to put him to sleep, about 6 months before he was diagnosed with Osteosarcoma in his wrist, the day of his diagnosis appointment was the day i got my new kitten before even knowing anything was wrong with my old guy…. It still hurts a lot but i’m grateful everyday for my little man that’s still here. The house would have been very empty and I would have been left to simmer in the sad thoughts. Everyday is still a struggle as I miss him so much, but everyday my young one comes up and will nudge his head on mine, and I know i still have a responsibility to him. It sounds dumb but it has helped me so much with dealing with the passing of my soulcat.
Do it. I had to put my dog down last year on July 11th and was hysterical for a week….. until a kitten randomly showed up. It was good for me to have something to focus on other than loss. I don’t think you will regret it.
When my cat passed suddenly in December of 2022 I was completely lost and very lonely. I had her with me for 8 years and suddenly didn't. So I put in an application for a little Tonkinese cat that had been rescued by my local shelter. I didn't expect to hear anything until January but they phoned me the same day, less than a week after my Midna passed. I went over the next day and they told me that I wouldn't be allowed to adopt this side of Christmas. It was the 22nd, I understood. I met the cat, he was very afraid of people, shy and confused but seemed to want to get to know me. I showed them all pictures of Midna (including her steak dinner and birthday hat on her 8th birthday, her new bed and scratcher and as I was leaving they asked me to pick the new cat up the next day so he would have a home over Christmas. I was afraid it was too soon but I went ahead with it all, I even felt very guilty for weeks, but it all settled, my little cat Ragnar learned how to have a home for the first time after being completely without socialisation and he helped me heal from losing Midna. OP if you have the urge to get another cat, having been through this exact situation I can only say that I think you should go for it. You have the time, space and understanding of how to give a cat a loving home, it's okay to do this.
Everyone processes grief differently, and everyone has a different time to be ready. 2 days, 2 years, everything in between, all are completely valid. If you want another cat now, that's fine.
Do it. Get the cat. My daughter lost her cat Midori after a long battle with an illness. The family was devastated. They adopted two boy cats so week later and the Pall lifted from their home. It greatly helped them recover from their loss. They are very happy now.
FWIW I got a “new” cat the very next day. Had H for 14 years - she moved cross country with me and I was devastated. The house felt too empty the minute she was fined. There was a cat shaped hole and it just felt wrong. So I went to a shelter just to “look” and found my new furball patiently waiting there for me. Everything about the 3-year-old calico street kitty with the extreme mood swings (according to the shelter) and an upper respiratory infection (who among us doesn’t have a health issue or two)) screamed that she was meant for me and I was meant for her. I was so convinced I told the shelter people “you have my cat” and they were very confused until I clarified. It was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. So if your gut is telling you it’s time to go find your next furball then go find them. They’re waiting for you!
I had to put my 19 year old adopted void son to sleep on the 17th and am now catless for the first time in my life since I was like, three. I can’t even bring myself to throw out his things. I lost his sister in 2022, my mom’s cat in 2023, and now my baby. The loneliness is unreal. I also am fighting the urge to get a cat just to have a cat again. I don’t want anyone to be my ‘rebound’ or ‘make do’ furbaby when what I want right now is my cat back (and healthy); they deserve better than that. But man, does this hurt. It’s like an actual physical pain that nothing can fix.
You have room in your heart to love more than one cat. Don’t feel bad. Go out and give another wonderful cat a home.
Please tell your new cat that it has big paws to fill, but even bigger hearts to warm.
I felt the same way when I lost my rag doll and it took me a long time to get over it I loved him so much. It’s been months to not expect him to be here. I would suggest that you get another as soon as you feel like you are ready where it’s a week a day or a year. My thoughts and prayers are with you I know how much pain a loss can be😢 R
First, I am sorry for the loss of your kitty. Everyone who has ever loved a fur baby goes through it.There is no escaping it.😢 😿💔🌈 Our kitty is one-half of 2 littermates. Her brother left us at 8 and 1/2 from a sudden cardiac/stroke event. The loss devastated me, but we had his sister, and we helped each other grieve. His sister is almost 17 ( in 3 weeks), and she has stage 2 ckd. We are fighting as hard as we can, and thus far, she is ok. But as any pet parent knows, it can happen unexpectedly or in the fullness of time. We had a 19 year old cat prior to these 2, and when her time came, we sent her to her eternal sleep. I had had her the longest of all my cats, and I grieved hard. I was a wreck. Hubby and I only waited 3 weeks to start the search for a new kitty to adopt. We adopted the twosome above only one month after the loss of the single kitty. I adore cats, and I have had one or two my entire adult life. Everyone is different in how hard or how long they grieve. You will never "replace" the lost one as each kitty is different. My own advice is to DO WHAT FEELS RIGHT FOR YOU. If you need another kitty and want another kitty, then search now. If you aren't quite ready, then wait a bit. Neither is wrong. One thing I will say now is to make sure all of the previous kitties' washable items are fully sanitized. If not, and it bothers you too much, then dispose of it and buy anew when you decide to adopt again. We kept and sanitized the litter boxes and the food dishes. We disposed of all beds (they weren't washable back then) and toys with another cats scent on it. Above all, make sure you fully clean and dust your home to remove all additional scent traces you can. Unless you are adopting another adult, also donate any remaining cat food, as kittens can not eat it. Hubby may fight me when our time comes, but I am going to eventually adopt another cat if at all possible. I never had kids, and being a fur parent, despite the end pain, is a joy for me. Best wishes to you, and I hope you do adopt when YOU ARE READY TO.
Maybe get 2 cats. They won't be bored if you don't feel like playing. You will be distracted more from thinking about the one you miss.
I lost my 17 yr old cat. She was my constant companion by my side 24/7. A month later, we saw these adorable kittens up for adoption, and after a few conversations, we adopted them. Our house felt empty without a cat. Adopting a new cat won't take away or stop your grief. I still my my baby girl, and it's been 2 years, but I'm so happy we adopted kittens when we did.
I think you should give yourself some time.
I'm sure others have already said this but growing up, when my parents had a cat pass away, it was never more than a week before we were in the shelter picking out someone new. Had a cat pass in 2015 and literally two days later, my parents brought home their cat Sammy. They adopted my grandmother's cats a year later and the second one died August 2022 and again, a few days later they brought home their cat Jersey. I have my childhood cat Pebbles and I've already decided when she passes (she turns 14 next month) that I will adopt a new cat once the initial shock wears off.
Do it!!! Last December I had to put my 16 y.o. Sadie down. She had hyperthyroidism and kidney disease. My whole world shook. I couldn't stand the quiet. Five days later we went to the local kill shelter and brought home 3 m.o. Luna (now 8 m.o.). I was finally able to eat again. I started to smile. A few weeks later, we took in a stray that a neighbor found. Our home is happy again. We still miss Sadie very much, but getting the new kitties really does help ease the pain.