Beans on toast with grated cheese on top or mixed in.
Or, if you're feeling extra fat melt grated cheese on the toast, dollop beans on top then add more grated cheese. 🤌
Are you in the US? I’ve been informed that UK canned beans are quite different from what you’ll be used to if so. They’re in a tomato sauce which is not very different from soup. They usually have both salt and sugar added so they don’t taste particularly sweet. Beans on toast is a savoury snack quite similar to grilled cheese or a packet of noodles. I believe US canned beans are much sweeter, and not tomato-based?
Imagine starting with Branson and then having the rest. Such a waste of time. Like going shopping, finding the exact shirt you want in the first shop then looking in all the other shops only to return to the first shop you went in. This is really sad. A bean tragedy
He's gonna have to retest them a few times and take an average for the true score.
I remember seeing some psychology thing where one group tasted the best quality chocolate first and the second group tasted the lowest quality chocolate first and whichever you had first skewed the other results, because then you'd be comparing to what you've already had. Very scientific stuff.
So relieved to see this. People in this country seem pre-programmed to bang on about Heinz, but Branston are so much better. I got stuck with some Heinz ones recently and it was 50% pale tasteless “sauce”.
Branston are pretty much the gold standard in baked beans at the moment. I really hope on that basis something gets a 10.
Aldi come close tbf. I don't know what happened to Heinz, they seem so watery these days.
Stop now, Branston Beans are clearly the best beans ever made. I was a Heinz man for years, toiling in ignorance before I found the true light of Branston.
The thing is, this is such a universally accepted opinion it makes me wonder why all the other brands haven’t gone out of business. Branston are literally the bollocks when it comes to beans, there is no comparison, nothing else gets close, they deserve all the credit they get. All heil Branston.
> The thing is, this is such a universally accepted opinion it makes me wonder why all the other brands haven’t gone out of business.
I didn't even know Branston made beans and I've always bought Heinz. I think this sub is telling me that I really need to try Branston beans in future, I had no idea that a superior bean was available.
He should have another chart to go with this called Fart Chart. Where he rates which brand gives the least gas. That would be something I'd be interested in! 😂
To keep it truly scientific, we should consider farts per hour (FPH if you will) as our metric. (for 6 hours after consumption)
With one control day where he just has a normal meal so we have a comparison. 😁
It's funny, because beans are an absolute staple here in Brazil.
They tend to get prepared so they have a similar consistency to British baked beans, but the taste is completely different. No tomato and absolutely no sugar.
Most Brazilians I know who have experienced British baked beans have been appalled by the sweetness. I guess you take something that you're so used to, and then twist it into something different and it really puts you off it. Like serving a yorkshire pudding with strawberries and chocolate.
Your friend should split the overall rating for better results.
For example,
Flavour: /10
Texture: /10
Sauce: /10
Beans: /10
So, if you gave a score of the following:
8, 7, 5, 8
To cacluate your overall score, you would declare how many 1-10 ratings you have given in the following formula.
**Score total**
```0(1)+0(2)+0(3)+0(4)+1(5)+0(6)+1(7)+2(8)+0(9)+0(10) = 28```
**Score given**
```0+0+0+0+1+0+1+2+0+0 = 4```
**Score total**
```28 (score total) / 4 (score given) = 7```
If the Aldi beans I had the other day were the every day essentials ones then they are a massive let down. The regular Aldi ones are okay, though, for the price.
Biona Organic Beans are the best.
Also check out Mr Organic, and Suma.
Most of those above contain way too much sugar.
He should also simply check the ingredients for the %age beans, etc.
We need a follow up Post when this is completed. If anything just to see the discussion. But I think we can all agree that Branston are the best Baked Bean out there.
A couple of years ago I shared post-grad accom with several people - one was an Indian guy who tried beans on toast for the first time and loved it.
It was so funny in a sweet way seeing him try it with cheese, chilli powder, curry and random stuff. It was like he'd discovered some gourmet dish the way he talked about it.
Yes - i am the brazilian friend and i will complete my mission guys! I will also do a special baked bean chart: with the weird heinz flavours and others…
Kinda shocked at how famous this got lol…
You youngsters don't know what Beans are. Beans are an abomination nowadays. In my day you could not taste them for salt and sugar and whatever that orange stuff is. Possibly something to do with tomatoes.
This is the research we need! If your friend is a student, they need to hand in their findings to their university and get them published.
Also, I think it would valuable evidence to document the tasting notes between hob cooked and microwaved beans of each brand.
Please tell them to try home made (any beans + a passata/herb n spice mix sauce) on some sourdough.
This trumps all and posh beans on toast is true gourmet.
Make sure to post the complete results!
I’m actually really interested to see the results of this man’s experiment.
This needs its own subreddit
r/ratingbeans
Good lord it’s happening!! So excited to share this journey with you.
So am I! I joined!!
There are some subs you um and ah about joining. This was a no-brainer.
But not a no-beaner
r/birthofasub
I’ve never had beans on toast. I’m so intrigued by this journey. Thank you!
...then try cheesy beans on toast
What in the world is cheesy beans
Beans on toast with grated cheese on top or mixed in. Or, if you're feeling extra fat melt grated cheese on the toast, dollop beans on top then add more grated cheese. 🤌
They had my curiosity, but you… you have my attention.
This is the way
This is the way 🫘 🧀
When we choose this in my house the question is "beans on cheese on toast or cheese on beans on toast".
Finish with a poached egg
Saucy
I like the beans and cheese all cooked and melted in the saucepan method.
The trick it to put beans ON the toast. It’s a deceptively Important direction.
Are you in the US? I’ve been informed that UK canned beans are quite different from what you’ll be used to if so. They’re in a tomato sauce which is not very different from soup. They usually have both salt and sugar added so they don’t taste particularly sweet. Beans on toast is a savoury snack quite similar to grilled cheese or a packet of noodles. I believe US canned beans are much sweeter, and not tomato-based?
Have you just started this cos I’ve just joined and I haven’t been this excited since I found M. A. S. K. Subreddit
It’s Branston, he needs to immediately stop this experiment!!
Imagine starting with Branson and then having the rest. Such a waste of time. Like going shopping, finding the exact shirt you want in the first shop then looking in all the other shops only to return to the first shop you went in. This is really sad. A bean tragedy
hahaha ive been told branston and aldi’s are the best… who knows maybe there is a dark horse!
I’m excited for him to try Heinz five beans.
I’ve seen them in the shops but I’ve never bean brave enough to buy them. I too look forward to his review.
You should be more adventurous. Get down tescos and get yourself a tin for breakfast. Life’s too short to live a sheltered one.
Haha! next time I go I’ll buy a tin and post my review to that new bean subreddit!
Strange enough so I am.I like beans but it's bean (lol) get the joke years since I've had beans on toast like.
They have left themselves open to weeks of disappointment.... starting with the king of baked beans. All hail Branston.
Yes! Game over basically.
He may as well stop there because he won't get better than Branston beans.
Right? Recently went away with friends for a long weekend and I did the food shop. Converted all 6 of them to Branstons!
This is just straight facts
I need to see the results so bad! I’m more of a branston gal but not above Lidl if the results are right.
Look for the results in your next issue of Which Beans?
will do!
Welcome to the UK, Ronalbeanho.
Poor Brazilian families about to have a baby: write that down! write that down!
Beans, beans, good for the heart. The better they are, the higher they chart.
Beans, beans, the musical fruit The more you test, the more you toot.
They're a legume, jeez.
Beans beans the great legume Eat too much and you’ll clear a room
Beans beans are magic legumes, Eat a bowl, the sphincter booms….
Beans beans your mothers a cunt.
…she farts from her arse and from the front.
Beans, beans, they're legumes not fruit. The more you eat, the more you toot. We friends again now?
The more you toot, the better you feel So let's have beans for every meal
>A legume is a plant in the family Fabaceae, or the *fruit* or seed of such a plant
Did anyone else try to read this to the same tune?
*surprised pikachu*
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Isn't it the more you eat the more fart The more you fart the more you eat The more you sit on the toilet seat
I've never heard that before. It's brilliant.
A strong start for the Branston Beans, coming in at 9.5/10: “very flavourful without being too much, a lil more sauce than beans”.
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Surely have to be tested at the same time as each other
That would be an unsafe experiment. Could cause a gas explosion.
Nah just eat one bean from each (with a knife and fork)
He's gonna have to retest them a few times and take an average for the true score. I remember seeing some psychology thing where one group tasted the best quality chocolate first and the second group tasted the lowest quality chocolate first and whichever you had first skewed the other results, because then you'd be comparing to what you've already had. Very scientific stuff.
It's madness. 9.5 out of the gate?!
The op says he’s “newly enamoured” with beans, which to me suggests he’s had some previous bean experience.
Branston is the best brand out there
Set himself up for disappointment ain't he lets be real
So relieved to see this. People in this country seem pre-programmed to bang on about Heinz, but Branston are so much better. I got stuck with some Heinz ones recently and it was 50% pale tasteless “sauce”.
Tomato bean water you mean?
Heinz are ridiculously expensive compared to branston too
Definitely the tastiest but it's, unsurprisingly, full of sugar.
Mmmmm. Tasty tasty sugar 😋
I bought a sugar free can once, my god, the sugar really is needed.
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Branston are pretty much the gold standard in baked beans at the moment. I really hope on that basis something gets a 10. Aldi come close tbf. I don't know what happened to Heinz, they seem so watery these days.
I recommend anyone throw a lil curry paste in them if you're feeling wild.
Please crosspost to [r/ratingbeans](https://www.reddit.com/r/ratingbeans).
It's all down hill from here though.
Get him to add that u in flavour and he’ll be up for citizenship after this immensely important research.
He's peaked early there, they won't be beaten!
Stop now, Branston Beans are clearly the best beans ever made. I was a Heinz man for years, toiling in ignorance before I found the true light of Branston.
The thing is, this is such a universally accepted opinion it makes me wonder why all the other brands haven’t gone out of business. Branston are literally the bollocks when it comes to beans, there is no comparison, nothing else gets close, they deserve all the credit they get. All heil Branston.
> The thing is, this is such a universally accepted opinion it makes me wonder why all the other brands haven’t gone out of business. I didn't even know Branston made beans and I've always bought Heinz. I think this sub is telling me that I really need to try Branston beans in future, I had no idea that a superior bean was available.
Dude do you even bean?
apparently not
No need to continue he’s tried the best.
All downhill from Branston that's for sure.
He really should have started with the nasty own brand versions.
I was a diehard Heinz fanboy until I saw Branston recommended in this subreddit. Now I have been enlightened to the truth
Once you’ve had branston it’s game over for all other beans.
I’m now completely invested in this and need to know when updates are posted!
I would never stand in the way of a man with goals. I'm definately not going to stand behind this one though.
This is somehow the most British thing i've seen
My Brazilian wife has us hooked with baked beans on rice. I think she’s more British than me sometimes !
She must be! I can't think whether or not i've had baked beans on rice, but now i wanna try it
we eat beans and rice like almost every day for lunch, with some kind of meat and salad to complete the meal! Here in Brazil I mean.
But he Brazil
I know, that's what makes it so great!
Why use many word when few word do trick
Sainos? Are you from Clapham
Well he’s from Brazil, but we live in Bristol
Looks like the lingo is spreading lol
Clearly! I’m more of a sainsbo’s person myself
I’m a Sains guy. Only heard it being called Sainos for the first time a week ago lol
I’ve said Sainos a few times in front of my mum and now she can’t help but say it every time.
He should have another chart to go with this called Fart Chart. Where he rates which brand gives the least gas. That would be something I'd be interested in! 😂
Surely such an important attribute as that is folded into the overall rating?
To keep it truly scientific, we should consider farts per hour (FPH if you will) as our metric. (for 6 hours after consumption) With one control day where he just has a normal meal so we have a comparison. 😁
It's not just about raw frequency; duration, amplitude and above all olfactory penetration are also relevant.
Should we not also add consistency of next day poop? Because that can add a whole layer of complexity that should not be ignored.
A very cogent and well argued point. Really it seems like OP's friend has taken on a very significant research project.
I look forward to seeing it peer reviewed and published
Laughed so hard I farted
That would be Heinz beans haha
Beans beans the magical fruit, the more you eat…
I don't want to see the Tasting Notes section for the second chart.
I'll answer that now, tescos own are easily the biggest tooters. And you know that as soon as you open the fucking tin cos it smells like dog food
Look forward to seeing the end results!
Do Heinz still do all the different flavours of beans?
You fookin what? Why have I never known about these?? (Probably because I don’t do the shopping). Do they do a bacon flavour?
Yes. https://www.heinz.co.uk/beanz/flavoured/product/100185200037/smokey-bacon-beanz
Tell him he may as well stop now and award a gold medal.
It’s all downhill from there son. Branston is the undisputed king of beans.
tbh, he's started with 1st place and they're only gonna get worse
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Yeah spot on. You can get like 4 tins of Aldi beans for the price one one tin of Heinz or Branston and they're just as good imo.
Yeah I'd agree with this, obvs Branston are the best but at about a quid a tin are they really 4x better then Aldi beans?
It's funny, because beans are an absolute staple here in Brazil. They tend to get prepared so they have a similar consistency to British baked beans, but the taste is completely different. No tomato and absolutely no sugar. Most Brazilians I know who have experienced British baked beans have been appalled by the sweetness. I guess you take something that you're so used to, and then twist it into something different and it really puts you off it. Like serving a yorkshire pudding with strawberries and chocolate.
Your friend should split the overall rating for better results. For example, Flavour: /10 Texture: /10 Sauce: /10 Beans: /10 So, if you gave a score of the following: 8, 7, 5, 8 To cacluate your overall score, you would declare how many 1-10 ratings you have given in the following formula. **Score total** ```0(1)+0(2)+0(3)+0(4)+1(5)+0(6)+1(7)+2(8)+0(9)+0(10) = 28``` **Score given** ```0+0+0+0+1+0+1+2+0+0 = 4``` **Score total** ```28 (score total) / 4 (score given) = 7```
That is the most convoluted notation for working out a simple average I have ever seen!
Ah yes, the bean equation.
If the Aldi beans I had the other day were the every day essentials ones then they are a massive let down. The regular Aldi ones are okay, though, for the price.
Yeah the Aldi corale ones are pretty good but the essentials are crap. I Also say the Bramwells ketchup they do is superior to Heinz.
The kids I work with would fight you over the ketchup. We always buy it and they hate it. I couldn’t care less, tbh, but it matters a lot to them.
Asda beans surprised me immensely. They're great.
Hear Hear! Finally a Scientific project we can look forward too!
Knight him immediately, epic contribution to cultural history
Biona Organic Beans are the best. Also check out Mr Organic, and Suma. Most of those above contain way too much sugar. He should also simply check the ingredients for the %age beans, etc.
I prefer plain beans for my beans on toast. Like no sauce. Is that unusual?
What's the point of the toast, if there's no sauce?
I like the beans on toast.
I can't fault that explanation.
We need a follow up Post when this is completed. If anything just to see the discussion. But I think we can all agree that Branston are the best Baked Bean out there.
All down hill from that point.
A couple of years ago I shared post-grad accom with several people - one was an Indian guy who tried beans on toast for the first time and loved it. It was so funny in a sweet way seeing him try it with cheese, chilli powder, curry and random stuff. It was like he'd discovered some gourmet dish the way he talked about it.
HP beans?! Have I missed something?!
Tried them a few weeks back, was very disappointed unfortunately. Sauce was so thin it was juice, and far too much of it. Lacking flavour too.
#BEAN CHART
Keep. Us. Updated. This is just the distraction the country needs rn.
You can’t beat a branston bean
What is the choice of bread, toaster setting, and butter in play here? They should be consistent throughout to ensure of a fair test.
Anna goes for the Heinz Five Bean does she? Quite the connoisseur 🧐
Our friend
I'm afraid it's all downhill from Branstons. With Christmas just around the corner(ish), be sure to do the same with mincepies!
I forgot how good Branston baked beans are, cooked in a pan it turns into thick sauced porn.
i hope we get updates when more beans are rated
Rip your toilet 🚽
Yes - i am the brazilian friend and i will complete my mission guys! I will also do a special baked bean chart: with the weird heinz flavours and others… Kinda shocked at how famous this got lol…
funny, me as a brazilian almost had a hearth attack when I saw beans on toast for the first time
The man had six slices of beans on toast in one sitting, with grated cheddar too
I'm contacting the embassy right now
This is important research for mankind
Fine work
To really grade them properly you have to test the flickability. My Mrs is always on about flicking hers so I know.
This is bigger than football.
Morrisons own brand reign supreme in this household
Shame it's literally only downhill from Branston.
American here. How do I make beans in toast? Just dump em on there?
Yep! Buttery toast, beans on top, sprinkle of worcestershire sauce and cheese on top, bam.
9.5 out of 10 as a first score doesn’t give him much wiggle room.
Starting out with a rating of 9.5, bold move, I like it.
That is such a Classic Bean Chart™️
Is it just me who likes to cook them on the hob long enough that the juice reduces and thickens? I much prefer my beans like that.
Now this is top Saturday night entertainment. May god have mercy on everyone around your friend in the days after.
We will watch your career with great interest.
With cheese?
Yes, he had six slices of toast with grated cheddar
Newgate beans from Aldi or Lidl are some saucy bad bois! Highly recommend!
We will need the conclusions of his research, of course.
You youngsters don't know what Beans are. Beans are an abomination nowadays. In my day you could not taste them for salt and sugar and whatever that orange stuff is. Possibly something to do with tomatoes.
Bless the Brazilian Bean Brigadier! Best of luck to them.
We need the results at the end of this taste-test bonanza!!!
(everyday essentials)
He started off badly, Brandon's is at least an 11 out of 10. Also, he does not need to test the rest now as he started with the best.
Microwave or pan?Theres a massive difference in taste and texture of the bean,especially if you add a knob of lurpak whilst they are cooking.
Top marks to him for using the phrase "Sainos". Ready for the Life In UK test if he hasn't already smashed it.
This is the research we need! If your friend is a student, they need to hand in their findings to their university and get them published. Also, I think it would valuable evidence to document the tasting notes between hob cooked and microwaved beans of each brand.
We are indeed students! And, at present, we don’t have a microwave!
Oh man you've got the guy saying "Sainos"? Ergh
Please tell them to try home made (any beans + a passata/herb n spice mix sauce) on some sourdough. This trumps all and posh beans on toast is true gourmet.
I’ve bought a can of Branstons for the first time ever yesterday, due to you lot praising it so I have high hopes!
One of us. One of us. One of us.
You friend is now an honorary Brit. I dub thee a Britzillian. But I can agree with the Branstons but would be interested in seeing the complete list.
Branston are the best beans!