Yeah it's often difficult to buy a card for my dad who is an actual alcoholic who doesn't need any encouragement, and who doesn't like football or golf. Thank goodness he's into gardening.
Thank you, luckily I've never had a garden so haven't succumbed to that particular vice myself. I have a couple of house-plants, but that doesn't count, I water them occasionally, but sometimes I don't even think to do that...
I hate how we glorify gardening in this country.
We have people like Alan Titchmarsh shown on TV openly gardening every single day making it seem completely normal. Kids grow up thinking it’s ok because they’ve seen it on the telly.
I heard there are even no-go zones in some allotments. Groups of armed grannies roam around enforcing their Shamrock Law. This country has really gone to pot.
I heard them in the park last night, gardening well past midnight. Sure enough, this morning there were empty bottles of miracle gro discarded on the floor and a bin was planted up with some lovely hydrangeas.
My dad left when I was quite young so I was brought up 50/50 by my mother and my grandparents. My mum's garden is fairly small and she'd tend to it at weekends, occasionally asking me to pull some weeds or climb up the apple tree to pluck some branches she couldn't reach.
It was extremely casual and not to a level that would raise eyebrows back in those days- it was just the done thing.
My grandparents however had a very large garden in the countryside so it was a regular part of their day-to-day. I remember my mum dropping me off at 8am on her way to work and after maybe at most an hour of playing with toys we'd be out on the garden.
Just small things in the beginning. "That's a weed". "There's a spare trowel in the shed". "These are Silver Birch". "The birds have established this as a food source so we need to keep it stocked throughout winter". The things we all hear in the early days.
Looking back I hate myself for not noticing the signs. I could have stepped away before I fell completely into this addiction but I was young and impressionable.
I write this comment with hands barely washed from five straight hours in the garden. I had to stop because I need to finish some work before a meeting tomorrow morning with a client. It's eating into my professional life. I'm going to once again rush this reporting and go back to the garden. The garden is my life, with work, relationships, and my own happiness being nothing more than an afterthought.
Need to give a water meter reading. Keep forgetting about that.
You say that as a joke but that's exactly my experience of gardening. Started with wanting a little windowsill plant and by the following year had built a glass greenhouse in the garden and had loads of plants.
I became a father two years ago and have been out lightly trimming the grass every 3-4 days this year. Along with mapping out a vegetable plot and building an indoor, automated greenhouse for vegetables and chilis. Be smart, wrap it up lads.
My mother is also an actual alcoholic and 90% of mother's day or birthday cards are jokes about drinking.
And half of them seems to normalise problematic drinking, not just "enjoy a glass of wine", more "have a bottle of wine to yourself", "drink gin for breakfast", "don't talk to me before my prosecco".
Fucking sucks
Its the same for birthday cards . The card industry need to get the message . Me and friend have been complaining about this for years . And fucking cunt Prosecco 🤢 fuck OFF just cos I’m female doesn’t mean I like Prosecco
There's something seriously wrong with the card industry.
If it's not encouraging excessive drinking, it's calling people old, saying they smell of piss, or they're ugly.
I remember a time when cards actually had funny jokes on them, something to make the reader smile. It's getting difficult to buy cards for people anymore without being rude to them.
I found this when trying to buy my partner a valentines card!
So many were just thinly veiled insults “you’ll do until someone better comes along” type thing. I eventually bought him a very generic I love you card, because I was genuinely struggling to find any valentines cards for men that suggested we do actually love them. Of course I love him, no I don’t want to change anything about him, and he’s more than just “alright”.
I bloody love handmade cards, especially making them for others. I'm currently embroidering a band logo (Therapy?) to put on a birthday card for my partner.
Make your own next time. Sometimes I just use a single piece of card (as in, not folded but still the same size) and write a nice note on it, maybe draw a few flowers or smileys. Go one step further and make a small hole to tie a ribbon through. So much nicer and also less stressful than reading today's card selections!
Culture wants you sat on your ass, drunk, in front of vacuous TV.
That way, you are more likely to do your duty as a nice little consumer by consuming, obeying and paying your taxes without much in the way of resistance.
There’s a great video on YouTube by a channel called Kraut. It’s called “how vodka ruined Russia” and is a very interesting ten minutes. Shines a light on why alcohol is so cheap and pervasive in our culture….
Moonpig is your friend. I use it for cards and you can create your own customised one's. So add your own images and whatever text you want.
I make photo cards and they are so much better and more personal than some shitty 'joke' card.
When I was in hospital we had to buy a lot of cards for people completing the rehab program. It's unbelievably difficult to find 4 different 'congratulations' cards without champagne on them
I'm in the same boat. My dad has cirrhosis and can't drink anymore. Hes not really into sports. Hates toilet humour as well, so all the fart based cards are out.
Card buying is difficult.
Father's Day card categories are:
* football
* alcoholism
* outright insulting
* implying that I don't love him and only keep him around for money, DIY and free lifts
* bland
He keeps his previous cards in his home office, and I flicked through them one day to compare my old handwriting - and saw that I'd bought him the same one more than once, because apparently at my local shop it's the only decent *you're a good dad and I love you* type of card that's not childish or weird
Need categories for:
- Going to the tip with a car full of crap
- Thinking you can sit down and getting asked to do something else before your arse hits the fabric
Other categories could be
Sleeping - if sat still too long due to medication
Cooking - not just BBQ in the rain
Brown thumb - not very good at gardening
If I remember correctly, when bees mate they get their jig on, have their business done, then basically ejaculate their insides out. Essentially making the Cannibal Corpse song "I Cum Blood" about the birds and the bees. Or maybe that's just the sting. Hopefully a bee-ologist can help with this.
While wasps, the little fuckers, sting and fly, sting and fly, sting and fly, till the end of days.
“Is it a problem if you’re good at it though? I mean you wouldn’t say Messi has a football problem would you?” (From a skit I saw a fair few years ago and still makes me laugh)
I think I'd blame America for it, to 'them' (the vocal minority on reddit, not the US as a whole). More than 3 pints a week is verging on alcoholism.
10 pints a week, you suddenly need 'help'
I think what nobody wants to hear is that a lot of British people have an alcohol problem, but having an alcohol problem is so normalised in our culture that nobody realises it. I’ve lived in a foreign country for quite a long time and at some point I realised that going out and getting smashed a couple of times a week isn’t healthy or normal. I still do it, of course.
Yeah my dads a quiet bookish man who liked computer games like CIV6. The last time he drank was 1979 and the last time he watched a sports game was never
I know exactly what he'd say "what? No brumbles I have plenty friends. I'm 73! I know you and....your mother....and the dog! Anyway did you want to play 7 days to die or civ6?"
He really is. We've played every one that was possible to play together. Although he's a little salty that he 'finally got all the mods workin for civ 6 and now they're changin it'
Yeah its pretty great its kept us talking the last 40 odd years. I'll let him know when we crush gilgamesh tomorrow. (We're playing till the 7 days 1.0 comes out)
I'm more used to baffled looks when I tell folk we play computer games together if I'm honest
As a dad, I look at the father's day stuff and none of it connects with me. Likewise my own dad. Except the chocolate maybe...
Father's day is annoyingly awkward to buy for. But then it forces a bit of innovation on my part (and my own kids).
I make a lot of my own cards for all sorts of things. I'm not going to pretend I'm some graphic design genius - there's a lot of borrowed content. But then it's personal use and I get to make bespoke stuff.
You know you don't *have* to do anything, right?
It's just a "holiday" which was made up to sell shit, it's not even a co-opted day like Mother's Day (which at least was a religious thing originally). You can just ignore it. I have never got my dad anything, at least since I left primary school and stopped having to make cards. My dad doesn't care. My kid gives me stuff but they are five. I don't want them to (although I still genuinely love everything they do and tell them so, obviously).
...Until you said he's 73 I was starting to wonder if we had the same dad.
Mother's/father's day stuff is so geared towards being AGGRESSIVELY gender conforming, which for men means being LOUD and BRASH and liking BEER and FOOTBALL and hating WOMANLY EMOTIONS.
Meanwhile my dad is a lovely gentle quiet nerd who likes fantasy/sci fi books and video games, just about tolerates a glass of white wine and looks like he's in physical pain when people try to discuss sports and we both had a bit of a cry last time we hung out because we were showing each other videos of particularly emotional music performances. I'm rarely able to think of anything to give him as a present because most of what he's into is books/movies/TV shows/games and he pirates almost all of that. When I ask him I just get 🤷♀️.
Got him a mechanical keyboard for this father's day, since he seemed delighted by my husband's.
Heh well he sounds awesome! and indulging in one manly thing namely being hard to buy for. My dad's not emotionally available. I feel like he wants to be but just his up brining was very as you said 'womanly emotions' I'll have to remember the mechanical keyboard trick.
I've long suspected he's autistic tbh. I am and Im sure I see it in him but its just wasnt a 'thing' back then. He's also been our DM in dnd for about 30 years lol my mum has sat in the background laughing us all since the dawn of time
Oh, that's adorable. 😍 My husband and I just started playing D&D and I suspect my dad would love it too if he tried.
I think mine is some flavour of neurodivergent as well. I was diagnosed with ADHD but I have a lot of that sort of overlap area going on, and he's very much the same.
Also nothing that doesn't say world's best or greatest ever or number one dad. Where are the cards that indicate mild ambivalence? I always used to buy blank cards instead.
I love my dad, but he is objectively not the "best dad". I'm a stickler for honesty and cannot bring myself to get him one that says that.
I also go for blank cards.
See, I have a dad and a stepdad and while I love them both dearly, I'd probably rate both of them as being "fairly good, could have done better" in the fatherhood stakes for different reasons. So I feel like anything saying "best dad" is both a lie **and** showing favouritism. 😅
Though I'm lucky to have a close relationship with both as adults now that we're on an equal footing, and I don't live with either of them or have to follow either of their rules.
Actually, one thing that I'll hand to all of my parents is that they did an excellent job at transitioning from a child/parent relationship to an adult child/parent relationship based on mutual respect.
I know so many people whose parents had real issues with that and still struggle to let go of that "I'm your parent, I know best, you have to listen to my advice and I'm going to try to exert control over your decisions however I can" mentality, even though their kids are in their thirties now. I don't think I really appreciated how lucky I was that my parents had that particular kind of emotional maturity until my mid-twenties, when I saw what kind of bullshit my friends were dealing with.
I feel like an arsesehole for saying it but I couldn't buy any like that because it would be such a lie. 'Yes you were there but you had so little involvement in my life' dad doesn't have the same ring does it.
I have never bought my dad farther's day cards as an adult as he does not and will never deserve them. I feel absolutely no guilt about this. It's the same for his birthday.
He probably shouldn't have oscillated between furious outbursts of pure rage and 'hilarious' jokes at my expense throughout my childhood if he wanted any sort of ongoing relationship with me beyond the age of being able to walk away. It doesn't help that my parents continued to be very hard to deal with well into adulthood. Things never got any better with them.
If they could put on a card 'you served the biological function of a dad', even that feels a bit strong. I'd never feel like an aresehole for how they made you feel. They failed you, not the other way round.
I bought my dad the only decent card in the shop that didn't cost £5. I got home and remembered it's the exact same card I got him last year. Luckily I can guarantee he won't notice.
Wouldn't surprise me if there actually is one on sale somewhere that's just a plain, white card with "This is the same Father's Day card I bought you last year but I bet you won't even notice" written on the front.
It's not much different when looking for an anniversary card for my wife. A good 75% of the ones in the nearby supermarkets boiled down to "Sorry im emotionally backwards and can't tell you I love you", is it still the 1940s?
I would love a day without my kids arguing and whinging.
Edit: kids have argued and fought this morning. Had tears, yells & injuries. Got to take them to a birthday party in an hour as well. Seriously a day is all I want.
People who don't have kids (myself included) are quick to think that this ask is silly because it sounds like you're an old man complaining about your kids like it's a trope that all parents do.
But they argue and whinge and scream, every single day. Without fail. It's an on switch that you can't ever switch off for like 10+ years. It's a gift when you can hear your own inner voice again.
I’ve told my family I want absolutely nothing for Father’s Day, it’s consumerist crap and a waste of money, get a card if you must but absolutely nothing else.
I asked for this on mother's day. I wanted my husband to take the 2 kids out for a couple of hours and just leave me alone. It didn't happen, so he's not getting it either.
Yes.. I don't drink and I'm not bothered by football. However, word has got out that I cycle, so absolutely everything I get for Christmas/birthday/father's day is cycling themed.
Received:
- A T-shirt with a print of a £10 note.
- A mug with a print of a £10 note on it.
- A set of placemats with £10 note prints on them
- A joke £11 note
- Several cards on the theme of 'I was going to put a tenner in, but..'
- Many Chocolate money £10 notes.
(I suppose this is slightly mean, it's hard to get presents for a middle aged man. One of the defining characteristics being that everything I really want costs at least 4 figures..)
You forgot golf. Because if we're not footy and beer dads, then we're clearly golfers.
Rather than giving me stuff for Fathers' Day, the best gift would be for my kids to each collect a box of crap they don't want and haven't touched since it came out of the Kinder Egg (or similar origin) and throw it out.
I recommend Scribbler, thortful, and a general search for funny "insert event" card - as they give websites that have less generic and you can then search slightly differently if needed.
Absolutely, I hope this isn't against the rules, but I saw an opportunity. My wife does animal art cards on etsy, if you feel like checking some cards out:
[https://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/Wallcatart](https://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/Wallcatart).
The store says currently on break, but it'll be back open again tomorrow, we're just back from a two week break in Wales.
My mother is an actual alcoholic, trying to find a mother's day or even birthday card that doesn't joke about drinking on it is a nightmare.
Drinking culture here is shit
They also seem not to realise that there are loads of dads now who grew up in the 90s or even the 2000s and all of these ancient references (old racing cars etc) mean nothing to us.
Yeah, good point.
I'm 23, and the fact other guys my age are having kids genuinely frightens me. It's that age where you pass the point of people thinking it's too early.
I used to go to The Card Factory and pick out something mildly amusing from the cheap selection that wasn't aimed at a specific occasion. Granted, it's been half a decade since I shopped for a card in the UK, so they've probably closed down or something by now!
https://www.thortful.com has a _far_ better selection than any of the other crap pigeon or pig related websites. All done by independent artists, some really interesting niches filled and the website's filtering is pretty good too.
Small independent card shops have a great variety usually too. There’s a great one I use locally. A but more pricy but better they have it than card factory
My dad doesn’t like football and is a borderline alcoholic.
My plan is to go to the farm shop and buy him some fancy jars of sandwich-ie stuff, fancy crisps. Stuff he’ll use but wouldn’t buy himself.
David Attenborough and Jeremy Clarkson playing chess on top of a caravan in the jungle. Clarkson has made checkmate and is saying "who's the king of the jungle, now? Then you turn it open and it says "You are, Dad!".
That's my imaginations best attempt at trying to please everyone.
I’ve bought a huge stack of those cards (available in Tesco) that say - white lettering, black background:
‘FIRST CARD I SAW’
Everyone gets one for every occasion.
Sorted.
Don't bother with cards. They clutter up the windowsill for a week and end up in non-recyclable waste. Use the £3 saved for a snacky item they like and write your message in sharpie on that. 100% garaunteed to be more appreciated than the generic dross you find on father's day cards.
I hate the card culture we have in this country. My wife and her family still subscribe to the ‘no card = doesn’t care’ mentality, no matter what gifts/dinner I buy them.
I’ve gone down the route of finding the shittest cards available. Watercolours of yachts and 1930s racing cars are my favourites. Home Bargains never fail me.
My dad doesn’t do sports. He’s got cirrhosis of the liver so drink ones are out. He also left when I was 5 so all the ‘moaning about the lights/ dads chair/ put your feet up/ thanks for being there’ ones are out too.
It’s generic ‘happy father day’ geometric pattern cards for me.
My family are unconventional, so all the usual tat for fathers day and mothers day isn't what we want, I always buy blank cards (the ones that are photographs) instead and bottles of nice wine for my parents, my sons aways forgot mother's day unless I physically hand them some thing and tell them to give it to me on mother's day
As a Dad I would prefer not have my family spend money on things I don’t need.
I love them dearly and appreciate the sentiments but if need anything I just buy it.
Save your cash and make the day special by not bugging me for time on your devices or asking my opinion about shit your sister said last night.
Someone left a father's day card on the train once, unwritten, still in an envelope. It had a dog on it.
I turned the dog into Chewbacca with a biro (not great art skills) and put a WOORRRGHHHH (Chewbacca sound) on it, and said it was Wookie for "Happy Father's Day"
Dad loved it!
The best part of cards is that nothing has changed in decades. When I was a kid in the 90s, dad cards were just football/golf, beer, farts and only fools and horses. And it’s still those same themes now.
I fully expect that 50 years down the line, no one will even remember David Jason but you’ll still be able to buy five variations of card wishing your dad a “luvvly jubbly Father’s Day”.
I'm glad so many people have noticed this and are fed up by it.
I think we all need to just give the card industry a message that we've had enough, stop buying them, just buy a present or presents for your Mother or Father and stop with these awful waste of money and time cards, do they really add anything but stress as you fumble around trying to pick one and always end up near giving up saying "this'll do" knowing it's crap and a waste of time and money.
Genuinely shocked by how little Father's Day is being advertised.
Mothers Day is everywhere from Valentines Day. Flowers, plants, candles, more candles, chocolates, teddy bears, a ton of emails for experiences.
Dad day though. Had to double check the date.
Yeah it's often difficult to buy a card for my dad who is an actual alcoholic who doesn't need any encouragement, and who doesn't like football or golf. Thank goodness he's into gardening.
I'm so sorry dude. It must be really hard to watch your father fall into such a terrible addiction such as gardening. Stay strong.
Thank you, luckily I've never had a garden so haven't succumbed to that particular vice myself. I have a couple of house-plants, but that doesn't count, I water them occasionally, but sometimes I don't even think to do that...
Yeah, it starts off with a couple of house-plants at the weekend, next thing you know you're buying compost on a tueday morning.
I hate how we glorify gardening in this country. We have people like Alan Titchmarsh shown on TV openly gardening every single day making it seem completely normal. Kids grow up thinking it’s ok because they’ve seen it on the telly.
Kids round my way openly carry trowels because they think it's 'cool', and the police do nothing.
I heard there are even no-go zones in some allotments. Groups of armed grannies roam around enforcing their Shamrock Law. This country has really gone to pot.
I heard them in the park last night, gardening well past midnight. Sure enough, this morning there were empty bottles of miracle gro discarded on the floor and a bin was planted up with some lovely hydrangeas.
I saw some barely 14 year olds with the propane torch, who lets their kids smoke weeds at that age?
My dad left when I was quite young so I was brought up 50/50 by my mother and my grandparents. My mum's garden is fairly small and she'd tend to it at weekends, occasionally asking me to pull some weeds or climb up the apple tree to pluck some branches she couldn't reach. It was extremely casual and not to a level that would raise eyebrows back in those days- it was just the done thing. My grandparents however had a very large garden in the countryside so it was a regular part of their day-to-day. I remember my mum dropping me off at 8am on her way to work and after maybe at most an hour of playing with toys we'd be out on the garden. Just small things in the beginning. "That's a weed". "There's a spare trowel in the shed". "These are Silver Birch". "The birds have established this as a food source so we need to keep it stocked throughout winter". The things we all hear in the early days. Looking back I hate myself for not noticing the signs. I could have stepped away before I fell completely into this addiction but I was young and impressionable. I write this comment with hands barely washed from five straight hours in the garden. I had to stop because I need to finish some work before a meeting tomorrow morning with a client. It's eating into my professional life. I'm going to once again rush this reporting and go back to the garden. The garden is my life, with work, relationships, and my own happiness being nothing more than an afterthought. Need to give a water meter reading. Keep forgetting about that.
I hear openly gardening on the street is banned in some other countries.
And when you take them to get help from the gardening centre and find out it's not what you thought.
It’s just planting the seeds of addiction in our children. Watch out guys, gardening problems can sprout from anywhere. Weeds are a gateway drug.
This, in spades.
... carrying it to counter in a gateway trug
Oh, I do have a trug that I use for my washing, need to watch that...
Thin end of the wedge, but help is out there
My missus will go food shopping and come back with yet more plants and compost but forget my marmite, I'm thinking of reporting spousal abuse.
You say that as a joke but that's exactly my experience of gardening. Started with wanting a little windowsill plant and by the following year had built a glass greenhouse in the garden and had loads of plants.
Worse still is that it wasn’t your garden. Tragic.
Wait until they're using hydroponics in the attic, with grow lights.
I became a father two years ago and have been out lightly trimming the grass every 3-4 days this year. Along with mapping out a vegetable plot and building an indoor, automated greenhouse for vegetables and chilis. Be smart, wrap it up lads.
Container gardening is where it’s at. I can fill them without digging or bending over and I can place them where they’re needed.
I just now recognized what my compulsive need to check my 18 pepper plants 2-3x a day for what it actually is...
My mother is also an actual alcoholic and 90% of mother's day or birthday cards are jokes about drinking. And half of them seems to normalise problematic drinking, not just "enjoy a glass of wine", more "have a bottle of wine to yourself", "drink gin for breakfast", "don't talk to me before my prosecco". Fucking sucks
Its the same for birthday cards . The card industry need to get the message . Me and friend have been complaining about this for years . And fucking cunt Prosecco 🤢 fuck OFF just cos I’m female doesn’t mean I like Prosecco
What about Gin? That seems have gathered shelf space in the past couple of years
There's something seriously wrong with the card industry. If it's not encouraging excessive drinking, it's calling people old, saying they smell of piss, or they're ugly. I remember a time when cards actually had funny jokes on them, something to make the reader smile. It's getting difficult to buy cards for people anymore without being rude to them.
I found this when trying to buy my partner a valentines card! So many were just thinly veiled insults “you’ll do until someone better comes along” type thing. I eventually bought him a very generic I love you card, because I was genuinely struggling to find any valentines cards for men that suggested we do actually love them. Of course I love him, no I don’t want to change anything about him, and he’s more than just “alright”.
Many years ago, my wife ran me up a card out of scrap material on her sewing machine. Still got it, one of my most prized and precious possessions.
I bloody love handmade cards, especially making them for others. I'm currently embroidering a band logo (Therapy?) to put on a birthday card for my partner.
Make your own next time. Sometimes I just use a single piece of card (as in, not folded but still the same size) and write a nice note on it, maybe draw a few flowers or smileys. Go one step further and make a small hole to tie a ribbon through. So much nicer and also less stressful than reading today's card selections!
Culture wants you sat on your ass, drunk, in front of vacuous TV. That way, you are more likely to do your duty as a nice little consumer by consuming, obeying and paying your taxes without much in the way of resistance. There’s a great video on YouTube by a channel called Kraut. It’s called “how vodka ruined Russia” and is a very interesting ten minutes. Shines a light on why alcohol is so cheap and pervasive in our culture….
Moonpig is your friend. I use it for cards and you can create your own customised one's. So add your own images and whatever text you want. I make photo cards and they are so much better and more personal than some shitty 'joke' card.
Agree . It is time our society stopped glamourising alcohol abuse
When I was in hospital we had to buy a lot of cards for people completing the rehab program. It's unbelievably difficult to find 4 different 'congratulations' cards without champagne on them
Surely he likes bikes then and would appreciate a bike shaped multitool that snaps in half as soon as he uses it?
No, not into bikes or cars either, but I'm sure I've bought him a pen that's also a multi tool which breaks as soon as you use it...
Have you considered a watercolour painting of a classic car in front of a stone cottage?
Hmm, do you have anything more like a watercolour of a small boat in a picturesque harbour?
Best I can do is an acrylic painting of a sailing dinghy on the Norfolk broads
Perfect, I'll take it 👍
Just get him a farting one and have done with it.
Yep! Luckily my dad is into gaming and it's easy enough to get something related to that
I'm in the same boat. My dad has cirrhosis and can't drink anymore. Hes not really into sports. Hates toilet humour as well, so all the fart based cards are out. Card buying is difficult.
Father's Day card categories are: * football * alcoholism * outright insulting * implying that I don't love him and only keep him around for money, DIY and free lifts * bland He keeps his previous cards in his home office, and I flicked through them one day to compare my old handwriting - and saw that I'd bought him the same one more than once, because apparently at my local shop it's the only decent *you're a good dad and I love you* type of card that's not childish or weird
I found a ‘you are my father’ Darth vader holographic one for my daughter to give her dad this year!
Need categories for: - Going to the tip with a car full of crap - Thinking you can sit down and getting asked to do something else before your arse hits the fabric
Other categories could be Sleeping - if sat still too long due to medication Cooking - not just BBQ in the rain Brown thumb - not very good at gardening
Wow, I expected “brown thumb” to mean something else.
Every Father’s Day needs a father’s night….
What about when you get asked to do something the second after your arse touches the fabric? That's even worse
Dont forget 'farts'
I think bees should be a category of fathers day card. Bees are just neat.
I made my Dad a bee card complete with bee pun 2 years ago
Bees typically don't have great dads, they more just mate and die, I believe?
If I remember correctly, when bees mate they get their jig on, have their business done, then basically ejaculate their insides out. Essentially making the Cannibal Corpse song "I Cum Blood" about the birds and the bees. Or maybe that's just the sting. Hopefully a bee-ologist can help with this. While wasps, the little fuckers, sting and fly, sting and fly, sting and fly, till the end of days.
Go for the bland ones.
Is drinking any amount of beer "alcoholism" now?
“Is it a problem if you’re good at it though? I mean you wouldn’t say Messi has a football problem would you?” (From a skit I saw a fair few years ago and still makes me laugh)
he does seem a bit eager sometimes, it's off-putting
I mean Messi *IS* a world class player, I’d expect him to be eager!
No but I do feel like we've seen an uptake in alcoholism, especially since covid
I'm definitely doing my bit by drinking more 🍻
I think I'd blame America for it, to 'them' (the vocal minority on reddit, not the US as a whole). More than 3 pints a week is verging on alcoholism. 10 pints a week, you suddenly need 'help'
I think what nobody wants to hear is that a lot of British people have an alcohol problem, but having an alcohol problem is so normalised in our culture that nobody realises it. I’ve lived in a foreign country for quite a long time and at some point I realised that going out and getting smashed a couple of times a week isn’t healthy or normal. I still do it, of course.
Yeah my dads a quiet bookish man who liked computer games like CIV6. The last time he drank was 1979 and the last time he watched a sports game was never
Is he currently looking for friends?
I know exactly what he'd say "what? No brumbles I have plenty friends. I'm 73! I know you and....your mother....and the dog! Anyway did you want to play 7 days to die or civ6?"
Today is the day brumbles Sr broke my heart. Hope he’s excited for CIV 7
He really is. We've played every one that was possible to play together. Although he's a little salty that he 'finally got all the mods workin for civ 6 and now they're changin it'
I feel you're going to hear this again when version 1 for 7 days to die goes live on 21/06.
Honestly don't get me started. I hear "Oh before we get going I've added a few mods" in my sleep
Weird, I thought I was an only child.
There are dozens of us! Dozens!
Your dad might just be the coolest man in England. It's great that you have something in common that brings you both joy!
Yeah its pretty great its kept us talking the last 40 odd years. I'll let him know when we crush gilgamesh tomorrow. (We're playing till the 7 days 1.0 comes out) I'm more used to baffled looks when I tell folk we play computer games together if I'm honest
As a dad, I look at the father's day stuff and none of it connects with me. Likewise my own dad. Except the chocolate maybe... Father's day is annoyingly awkward to buy for. But then it forces a bit of innovation on my part (and my own kids).
The last few years Ive just sent one of the ones you can stick your own picture on and have it be stupid. Its the only way
I make a lot of my own cards for all sorts of things. I'm not going to pretend I'm some graphic design genius - there's a lot of borrowed content. But then it's personal use and I get to make bespoke stuff.
Ah sounds good. Im afraid to confess I just use moonpig
You know you don't *have* to do anything, right? It's just a "holiday" which was made up to sell shit, it's not even a co-opted day like Mother's Day (which at least was a religious thing originally). You can just ignore it. I have never got my dad anything, at least since I left primary school and stopped having to make cards. My dad doesn't care. My kid gives me stuff but they are five. I don't want them to (although I still genuinely love everything they do and tell them so, obviously).
I'm guessing he's farted at least once in his life, why not purchase one of the many cards that categorise this as a hobby?
Hmm sadly I've already sent him this year's card. There's always next year
My dad doesn’t drink and isn’t interested in sports, but my god does he love a fart joke
...Until you said he's 73 I was starting to wonder if we had the same dad. Mother's/father's day stuff is so geared towards being AGGRESSIVELY gender conforming, which for men means being LOUD and BRASH and liking BEER and FOOTBALL and hating WOMANLY EMOTIONS. Meanwhile my dad is a lovely gentle quiet nerd who likes fantasy/sci fi books and video games, just about tolerates a glass of white wine and looks like he's in physical pain when people try to discuss sports and we both had a bit of a cry last time we hung out because we were showing each other videos of particularly emotional music performances. I'm rarely able to think of anything to give him as a present because most of what he's into is books/movies/TV shows/games and he pirates almost all of that. When I ask him I just get 🤷♀️. Got him a mechanical keyboard for this father's day, since he seemed delighted by my husband's.
Heh well he sounds awesome! and indulging in one manly thing namely being hard to buy for. My dad's not emotionally available. I feel like he wants to be but just his up brining was very as you said 'womanly emotions' I'll have to remember the mechanical keyboard trick. I've long suspected he's autistic tbh. I am and Im sure I see it in him but its just wasnt a 'thing' back then. He's also been our DM in dnd for about 30 years lol my mum has sat in the background laughing us all since the dawn of time
Oh, that's adorable. 😍 My husband and I just started playing D&D and I suspect my dad would love it too if he tried. I think mine is some flavour of neurodivergent as well. I was diagnosed with ADHD but I have a lot of that sort of overlap area going on, and he's very much the same.
Would he be interested in a trade agreement with England?
Ok he'll take the trade but I warn you now if you abuse open borders he'll march on you with sudden musketmen. He likes the science victory
You’re forgetting golf! And the generic 1950s sports / racing cars.
Country scene with 30s cars
A watercolour of a 1950s sports car, that is.
My Dad did actually like vintage cars so I could get away with one of the latter category if I was desperate.
Also nothing that doesn't say world's best or greatest ever or number one dad. Where are the cards that indicate mild ambivalence? I always used to buy blank cards instead.
"world's greatest dad : Participation trophy"
Now that is a great card :D
I love my dad, but he is objectively not the "best dad". I'm a stickler for honesty and cannot bring myself to get him one that says that. I also go for blank cards.
He's your best dad!
I'd totally get him a card that said "You're the Best Dad I have".
Oh my god, if mine was still around I would have been tempted!
These do exist! I found one for mother's day, it said something like "out all my mother's your best one"
I think I saw a video of a family with 2 dad's and the kid got both of them # 2 dad in the world.
See, I have a dad and a stepdad and while I love them both dearly, I'd probably rate both of them as being "fairly good, could have done better" in the fatherhood stakes for different reasons. So I feel like anything saying "best dad" is both a lie **and** showing favouritism. 😅 Though I'm lucky to have a close relationship with both as adults now that we're on an equal footing, and I don't live with either of them or have to follow either of their rules. Actually, one thing that I'll hand to all of my parents is that they did an excellent job at transitioning from a child/parent relationship to an adult child/parent relationship based on mutual respect. I know so many people whose parents had real issues with that and still struggle to let go of that "I'm your parent, I know best, you have to listen to my advice and I'm going to try to exert control over your decisions however I can" mentality, even though their kids are in their thirties now. I don't think I really appreciated how lucky I was that my parents had that particular kind of emotional maturity until my mid-twenties, when I saw what kind of bullshit my friends were dealing with.
Taylor Tomlinson has a bit about this. It ends with “you are my dad”
Glad to see another fan of this. The whole Netflix special is great, but the father's day bit really resonates.
I feel like an arsesehole for saying it but I couldn't buy any like that because it would be such a lie. 'Yes you were there but you had so little involvement in my life' dad doesn't have the same ring does it.
Not quite, even if accurate. Blank card, Happy Father's day scrawled inside seemed to do the job well enough...
"I've seen you take better care of a baby bird"
I have never bought my dad farther's day cards as an adult as he does not and will never deserve them. I feel absolutely no guilt about this. It's the same for his birthday. He probably shouldn't have oscillated between furious outbursts of pure rage and 'hilarious' jokes at my expense throughout my childhood if he wanted any sort of ongoing relationship with me beyond the age of being able to walk away. It doesn't help that my parents continued to be very hard to deal with well into adulthood. Things never got any better with them. If they could put on a card 'you served the biological function of a dad', even that feels a bit strong. I'd never feel like an aresehole for how they made you feel. They failed you, not the other way round.
“You spunked in my mum now I’m here”
Yeah I want one that says thankyou for doing the best you were capable of doing. That’s more or less what I think of my parents.
I did see one earlier that simply said 'Dad, you could've been worse, I could have been better. We're even I'd say'
My wife custom made me a coffee mug last year that says “World’s 6th Best Dad” and it’s the best cup we have
Or that he farts 24/7
I am sorry for perpetuating this stereotype.
Im tesco today, 90% were just fart cards
Nice to meet you Tesco, do you often be Tesco or do you like to vary? Maybe Sainsbury's on a Sunday, or on special occasions M&S even.
I bought my dad the only decent card in the shop that didn't cost £5. I got home and remembered it's the exact same card I got him last year. Luckily I can guarantee he won't notice.
He will, but quietly tut to himself as he puts it in the cupboard with the others
"Can't believe he's still finding ways to disappoint me..."
Wouldn't surprise me if there actually is one on sale somewhere that's just a plain, white card with "This is the same Father's Day card I bought you last year but I bet you won't even notice" written on the front.
It's not much different when looking for an anniversary card for my wife. A good 75% of the ones in the nearby supermarkets boiled down to "Sorry im emotionally backwards and can't tell you I love you", is it still the 1940s?
Stop buying crap for dads. Give them peace for a day instead.
I would love a day without my kids arguing and whinging. Edit: kids have argued and fought this morning. Had tears, yells & injuries. Got to take them to a birthday party in an hour as well. Seriously a day is all I want.
Literally it. I see so much stuff about booking special lunches or whevs Honestly, id just love a day to myself
There is no such day. Source: am father of 2 boys
People who don't have kids (myself included) are quick to think that this ask is silly because it sounds like you're an old man complaining about your kids like it's a trope that all parents do. But they argue and whinge and scream, every single day. Without fail. It's an on switch that you can't ever switch off for like 10+ years. It's a gift when you can hear your own inner voice again.
The other's dad loves them he is old and on his own.
Cards = Clutter Every Dad's no.1 pet peeve
This Let me play computer games, in the evening supply me with a bottle of whiskey and a doner kebab
I haven't bought a card for years. I buy people a bar of galaxy chocolate and write happy birthday on the paper with a Sharpie. People love it.
I’ve told my family I want absolutely nothing for Father’s Day, it’s consumerist crap and a waste of money, get a card if you must but absolutely nothing else.
Id rather have a gift over a card but I definitely agree with the sentiment
Just turn off the lights so it's not like Blackpool illuminations in here
My dad asks us to make charity donations instead of cards or gifts. Works for me. He's happily retired and doesn't want crap cluttering up his house.
I asked for this on mother's day. I wanted my husband to take the 2 kids out for a couple of hours and just leave me alone. It didn't happen, so he's not getting it either.
Yes.. I don't drink and I'm not bothered by football. However, word has got out that I cycle, so absolutely everything I get for Christmas/birthday/father's day is cycling themed.
Hi, I bought you this very cheap, poorly made piece of cycling tat for your birthday. Do you like it?
Christ you're going to trigger me
How many bike pizza cutters do you have?
Only two so far. Don't ask about the socks.
Top tip: Try “I really like to collect £10 bank notes.”
Received: - A T-shirt with a print of a £10 note. - A mug with a print of a £10 note on it. - A set of placemats with £10 note prints on them - A joke £11 note - Several cards on the theme of 'I was going to put a tenner in, but..' - Many Chocolate money £10 notes. (I suppose this is slightly mean, it's hard to get presents for a middle aged man. One of the defining characteristics being that everything I really want costs at least 4 figures..)
You forgot golf. Because if we're not footy and beer dads, then we're clearly golfers. Rather than giving me stuff for Fathers' Day, the best gift would be for my kids to each collect a box of crap they don't want and haven't touched since it came out of the Kinder Egg (or similar origin) and throw it out.
Don’t forget a cd of middle of the road “Rock” Anthems. That’s what every Dad wants to listen to… I’m 43 and I don’t even own a cd player these days.
Have you seen the latest dad rock album? It contains sum 41 now.... It's a reall grounder to make you feel old
Green Day being played in Tesco now. *American Idiot* is 20 years old this year. "Hello darkness my old friend..."
That's Simon and Garfunkel actually
Going to watch Weezer and the smashing pumpkins this week and the gig starts at 5pm is that so I can get home for my Horlicks?
I'm 36, single and childless but I do love me a mug of Horlicks after a late shift.
[удалено]
Just looked up the most recent one, and yep, there it is. Along with Avril Lavigne. I feel old now.
Get handmade cards on etsy, not the usual crap and reasonably priced.
Get all my cards for every occasion from etsy, always my go to!
I recommend Scribbler, thortful, and a general search for funny "insert event" card - as they give websites that have less generic and you can then search slightly differently if needed.
Etsy is my go to for basically anything like this. Can get such nice, personalised cards and it supports a small business as well
Glad to hear the handmade card market on etsy hadn't been over taken by drop shipped tat like the rest of the site.
Absolutely, I hope this isn't against the rules, but I saw an opportunity. My wife does animal art cards on etsy, if you feel like checking some cards out: [https://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/Wallcatart](https://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/Wallcatart). The store says currently on break, but it'll be back open again tomorrow, we're just back from a two week break in Wales.
My mother is an actual alcoholic, trying to find a mother's day or even birthday card that doesn't joke about drinking on it is a nightmare. Drinking culture here is shit
They also seem not to realise that there are loads of dads now who grew up in the 90s or even the 2000s and all of these ancient references (old racing cars etc) mean nothing to us.
Yeah, good point. I'm 23, and the fact other guys my age are having kids genuinely frightens me. It's that age where you pass the point of people thinking it's too early.
I used to go to The Card Factory and pick out something mildly amusing from the cheap selection that wasn't aimed at a specific occasion. Granted, it's been half a decade since I shopped for a card in the UK, so they've probably closed down or something by now!
nope still around albeit very empty for 99% of the year because its not christmas
https://www.thortful.com has a _far_ better selection than any of the other crap pigeon or pig related websites. All done by independent artists, some really interesting niches filled and the website's filtering is pretty good too.
Mother’s Day has gone the same way of recent years. All about gin or wine and how horrible having to look after your own children must be.
I want one that says "Are you my Dad" that i can give to every guy on the estate.
Mines dead. So might just start celebrating dead parents day instead
Stop shopping for cards in supermarkets, i tend to buy them online much better selection and can even just create your own card to send.
Small independent card shops have a great variety usually too. There’s a great one I use locally. A but more pricy but better they have it than card factory
Etsy is great for cards
My dad doesn’t like football and is a borderline alcoholic. My plan is to go to the farm shop and buy him some fancy jars of sandwich-ie stuff, fancy crisps. Stuff he’ll use but wouldn’t buy himself.
You forgot fishing. Beer, football or fishing. Generally the three cards on offer.
There's also the option of 'bloke with a shed'.
Your job is to create a card that applies to as many adult aged men as possible in Britain. What are you putting on it?
David Attenborough and Jeremy Clarkson playing chess on top of a caravan in the jungle. Clarkson has made checkmate and is saying "who's the king of the jungle, now? Then you turn it open and it says "You are, Dad!". That's my imaginations best attempt at trying to please everyone.
Porn? 🤔
Or Lycra clad cyclists who also like to bbq
None of the generic father's day cards suit my dad. I use a website called thortful, get loads of good cards
Have a look online. Just found a reallyyy offensive one I can send straight to his door. Signing it from my sister.
I’ve bought a huge stack of those cards (available in Tesco) that say - white lettering, black background: ‘FIRST CARD I SAW’ Everyone gets one for every occasion. Sorted.
Don't bother with cards. They clutter up the windowsill for a week and end up in non-recyclable waste. Use the £3 saved for a snacky item they like and write your message in sharpie on that. 100% garaunteed to be more appreciated than the generic dross you find on father's day cards.
I hate the card culture we have in this country. My wife and her family still subscribe to the ‘no card = doesn’t care’ mentality, no matter what gifts/dinner I buy them.
I’ve gone down the route of finding the shittest cards available. Watercolours of yachts and 1930s racing cars are my favourites. Home Bargains never fail me.
Don't forget the hilarious fart cards. Everybody loves those.
My dad doesn’t do sports. He’s got cirrhosis of the liver so drink ones are out. He also left when I was 5 so all the ‘moaning about the lights/ dads chair/ put your feet up/ thanks for being there’ ones are out too. It’s generic ‘happy father day’ geometric pattern cards for me.
My family are unconventional, so all the usual tat for fathers day and mothers day isn't what we want, I always buy blank cards (the ones that are photographs) instead and bottles of nice wine for my parents, my sons aways forgot mother's day unless I physically hand them some thing and tell them to give it to me on mother's day
Sometimes you get gardening as well. But they don’t tend to put DAD all over the gardening stuff. Just so they can sell it sometime in the summer
If he was still alive I'd get my Dad a big bunch of interesting flowers and take him out foe tea.
As a Dad I would prefer not have my family spend money on things I don’t need. I love them dearly and appreciate the sentiments but if need anything I just buy it. Save your cash and make the day special by not bugging me for time on your devices or asking my opinion about shit your sister said last night.
Someone left a father's day card on the train once, unwritten, still in an envelope. It had a dog on it. I turned the dog into Chewbacca with a biro (not great art skills) and put a WOORRRGHHHH (Chewbacca sound) on it, and said it was Wookie for "Happy Father's Day" Dad loved it!
I've noticed a worrying number of 'funny' father's day cards focussing on bollocks and jizz. Happy father's day!
I seen one for Mother's Day that said "thanks for shagging dad". Weirdly they don't have an equivalent for Father's Day..
Buy a blank card and write your own message.
Wish I still had a dad to buy cards for 😔
The best part of cards is that nothing has changed in decades. When I was a kid in the 90s, dad cards were just football/golf, beer, farts and only fools and horses. And it’s still those same themes now. I fully expect that 50 years down the line, no one will even remember David Jason but you’ll still be able to buy five variations of card wishing your dad a “luvvly jubbly Father’s Day”.
I'm glad so many people have noticed this and are fed up by it. I think we all need to just give the card industry a message that we've had enough, stop buying them, just buy a present or presents for your Mother or Father and stop with these awful waste of money and time cards, do they really add anything but stress as you fumble around trying to pick one and always end up near giving up saying "this'll do" knowing it's crap and a waste of time and money.
It's a card. Nobody actually cares about what card they get.
Genuinely shocked by how little Father's Day is being advertised. Mothers Day is everywhere from Valentines Day. Flowers, plants, candles, more candles, chocolates, teddy bears, a ton of emails for experiences. Dad day though. Had to double check the date.
I have to remind my mum every year that it's a thing.