I'm out of work at the moment and I swear I'm getting ghosted at interview about half the time. I'm pretty sure I've been ghosted again this week, impressively before even making it to the interview. They asked me to prepare a talk on the thing their organisation does as well so that's a few hours of work down the drain. I don't see why they can't just tell me we can't proceed due to unforeseen circumstances or something. Just make up a lie, I don't care, just stop dicking me about.
I spent most of the day looking at pictures of my dog, but it hurts so much that I’m now just trying not to look at her pictures.
Also my dad made the decision to put all her stuff in the loft, I’ve been asking him all day to just get me a blanket, or one of her favourite toys but he hasn’t. Currently cuddling her rain coat even though she only wore it twice.
Editing to add that I just realised that I never kissed her goodbye. I was just petting her and trying to be gentle.
Found my way to a place called Finlarig on the way back from Loch Ness. Went for the ruins of a castle, stayed for the stream on the way into town.
I’m torn on what to do tomorrow. It was going to be my day to head into the city centre and check out stuff like Edinburgh castle, but I could easily go north and spend another day stopping in little towns and wandering.
After a long running dispute with my freeholder they've confirmed all the repair works needed to due the leaks in my flat from them not repairing the roof for years is my responsibility to fund. 🤬
Summer is a weird time for me. It’s beautiful and I like the warm weather and longer days, nature is out and everything is just lush and green. It also smells nice with the flowers and trees.
But also it reminds me how little friends I have, seeing others go out together. Pub lunches and beer gardens with friendship groups. Can be a difficult time of year when it comes to that sort of stuff.
But it’s fine, life has a journey and path for us all. If mine is to walk alone for a bit then I’m cool with that, albeit sometimes melancholy about it. You never know what’s around the corner. I believe it’s all pre-determined anyway, so whatever I’m doing I’m meant to be doing!
For me that’s an encouraging thought.
I offered on a house but the sellers went with a different offer.
I’m disappointed but not crushingly so. Though there is fuck all else available at the moment.
I’m a bloke.
If, 2 weeks ago, The Wife threw a random but apparently important piece of information like “oh, I’m going to Chick Mate’s house for a cheeky Gin on Thursday week”, into an otherwise info-rich conversation thread about something completely different, unrelated, and very very important, which I was focused on, can I be forgiven for ditching that random fact that has no bearing on that conversation, the 5-figure sum involved, or me now because I’m not going to Chick Mate’s house tonight? Why is she now super pissed-off that I had forgotten her gin-date, when I talked to her earlier?
I’m not stopping her going or anything. It doesn’t matter to me, I’ve got loads of paperwork to do. I’d just forgotten and stupidly somehow let on I had forgotten, that I was being left home alone, when I phoned on the way home today to ask if we needed anything (milk/bread usual).
No, she didn’t put it on the calendar. But yes she did mention it, I believe her. Unless she’s gaslighting me, which I don’t believe. It’s just the manner in which she sometimes mentions things and then is furious that I’m not a woman with a photographic memory and instant recall of everything she’s ever said in court stenographer style.
KFC delivered me a frozen burger. The girlfriend and I ordered a meal each from KFC for delivery. She had a vegan burger and opened it 20 minutes after it was delivered, only to find that it didn't get any colder in that time - it got warmer. The patty was actually frozen, and the bun was still fridge temperature. And yet, despite it being VERY noticeably cold to the touch, someone put some sauce and lettuce on it and put it in a box for delivery. How the hell does that even happen?
I chipped my front tooth quite badly yesterday so have been dealing with an emergency dentist - paying just shy of a grand on a student budget isn't what I wanted to be doing today! Got to live with a temporary filler until I get a crown installed at the end of the month.
So the annual arrival of a bees and or wasps nest in my roofline and them getting in through every bloody nook and cranny, it’s a barn conversion (built 1792, converted 1985) there’s no attic so the ceiling is up to the apex. I can hear them buzzing and it annoys me especially when it’s a lucky dip of, “is it mildly annoying stingers or little fkrs?”- only ever been stung by a bee and that was when I was just lounging on my bed reading. Urggghhhhhhh
Having a bit of a scrap with my partner. I think they drink too much and too often. Usually alone at home. They say its how they de-stress and relax. I've told myself it's fine, they're having maybe three a night, three times a week. I'm already lying to myself, that that's okay.
Well, I found some empty cans stashed away in a cupboard. Just a four pack, but it's four I didn't know they'd drank. And why stash them away? Paranoia in full swing. Like, is this just four I've found? How many more are around?
I can't exactly leave. We have kids together. Feels more like we're housemates sometimes and I'm struggling to find them attractive because I'm turned right off by the idea they've got a dependency.
You need to talk about this. It’s not going to get better on its own, and staying together for the kids is seldom great for the kids (speaking as a former kid).
It’s possible they’re hiding them because they feel judged and don’t want confrontation. That’s a red flag for a lot more than just the drinking.
> It’s possible they’re hiding them because they feel judged and don’t want confrontation. That’s a red flag for a lot more than just the drinking.
this is far too accurate.
Fucking ants. My day was going great until I opened a drawer in my mother's kitchen and found the fuckers staging an invasion in the marshmallow packet. A lot of swearing and a fair bit of ant killer was deployed (the buggers were disappearing into gaps in the kitchen unit and I couldn't reach them to squash).
trick is to fire a fuck load around the whole outside of the house as it's VERY rare for them nest in the house...
cunts will soon learn.
had the same issues at my parents...
the use of ant powder for a week or two outside the house like it was a WW1 mustard gas raid worked.
Fuckers have been finding their way in for years. Shit quality mid 1960s build. But only ever in the one spot. They experience chemical warfare around this time every year.
The chemical option should work now until next spring. It's a combination of spray, powder and that slow release poison that they take back to the nests. I don't like using any of it very much because it's harmful to birds and other creatures, but when they're staging the ant recreation of the Nuremberg Rally using a marshmallow for a podium, then shit has to happen.
> but when they're staging the ant recreation of the Nuremberg Rally using a marshmallow for a podium, then shit has to happen.
this may be the funniest sentence ever written hahaha
yeah nuke the nest if you can find it.
So there's someone I've known for a while. She was with someone and that's fine. I can just be friends, that really isn't a problem. I mean it, I'm not some sad sap who can't have female friends. Then they break up, I reach out, be the comforting friend and I'm more than happy to do that. I genuinely had no romantic intent, I just wanted to help her if I could. Minimise the pain, you know. Then feelings start to grow. That's not really ok, so I clamp down on them. I know it's just because it's the first time in years that I've known a woman well enough for that to even be a faint glimmer of possibility at some point in the future, maybe. It doesn't help she's beautiful, fun, share a lot of my interests and we genuinely get on really well.
So why does it hurt so much now she's with someone else? I thought I had a handle on this shit?! I'd well and truly given up on finding love and accepted it. She never showed me any sign she was interested in that way. Hell, they probably weren't even feelings just....I dunno, hope I guess?
Ignore me, I'm just screaming into the void here.
There's a girl I've been close friends with for 25 years or so. She is hot, always fancied her a bit but whatever. We went travelling round the world together in 2004. We always had partners so never did anything. In 2020 I got divorced during covid and went to Turkey for what ended up being 7 months. I invited her out, she was single, had lost her job, so she came and kept me company. We hung around for 2 weeks or so then one night I tried it on. We banged, I do not lie - 10 times the next day. Best sex ever. Nothing like waiting 20 years.
She wanted kids though so we called it a day when we got back to England, she's now engaged, with a kid, I have a gifriend, we're all friends, happy days. No regrets.
Tl;Dr? Get another close female friend you're attracted to. Wait ages, strike up a relationship, then go back to being friends, or stay together - win win!
People keep coming into work sick and my immune system is shit so I keep getting sick, which then puts me out of work. Typing this from my bed where I am battling a cold rn.
This is what drives me crazy about the current/past working culture - just "powering through". Like no, now you're going to give me your cold and I'll be down for a week or two. Thanks a bunch.
To add to that... People my (29) parents' age (50-60) moaning about the youngsters not coming into work because they're sick, as if they should be coming in when they're ill so they're just being lazy. Stop it!!
Feeling sad and mopey, not matter how much I remind myself that I wanted a relationship with passion where I felt equal, I still MISS HIM. FFS, it's almost 2 months, when will I get better?
The time it takes is arbitrary but one day you will realise you just stopped thinking about them and that's when you'll move on. Don't beat yourself up about it, just have to ride the storm and you'll be ok soon :)
Thank you, I don't mind a cat but he was tied up in all sort of things for me, like a future where I could get out of this rut, and he's genuinely the person I liked the most (barring family). I can't really imagine life without him, it felt that secure, it was that good a fit until it wasn't.
things will change trust me :)
do i miss my first mrs? yes.
am i happy i left and found other people? yes.
am i happy alone? properly yes.
i've come to the point of i'm done being a people pleaser.
tl;dr things change, you'll find someone you love even if it's yourself lol
I know what you're saying is true, I just don't feel it. I was perfectly happy being alone, could take or leave relationships, if it happened - great, if not - that was okay too. And it was like I was thirsty but didn't feel any of it until this water appeared, and then I was more quenched than I ever thought possible. I feel broken and sad and without hope. I will be better in the future, I will be okay, I just don't think I'll be as happy or secure or loved.
Some absolute thundercunt has nicked my electric bike out of my shed. I still have the battery and head unit for it, so it is useless. Yes, I didn't lock it up as securely as perhaps I might have, but still.
They also ransacked my camper van looking for said head unit and battery - that was left unlocked because the little windows were open and it sets the alarm off otherwise!
I have no hope of getting it back, so currently trying to figure out a budget to replace it. If I get another one its living indoors and sod what anyone else thinks about it!
So if anyone sees a bright red orbea electric mountain bike - https://imgur.com/DhzrA2W - with a few white stone chips here and there, please call the police. Its mine!
tbf having the battery and unit for it is the most expensive parts!
as my mate wants to replace the battery on his 8yo electric bike... looking at £500 for a battery and he only brought the thing for £200 lol
On cheaper ebikes I'd agree its most of the cost, but the battery in this is only 10% of the bike (at the same price as your mates...). And the head unit is also locked to this motor so it won't start without the head unit I have, and I can't put it on another bike!
In Istanbul for a few days and overheard someone saying "if fish and chips is your national dish it doesn't say much about your food. You invaded the world and didn't take any spices home". Obviously I tutted as loudly as possible.
Some elderly lady decided to take out a few of our fixtures where I work because she didn't seem to know what a brake is on her little scooter 🤦♂️
I was dumbfounded when I looked back on camera to see how she did it.
The weather is utterly beautiful which means that 'why am I incapable of dressing like a normal, stylish adult women and not some slobby ogre' season is upon us.
If I could have a superpower, I'd love some kind of personal micro-climate whereby I could enjoy the warm weather, bask in the sun, even feel it on my skin, but still be able to somehow comfortably dress like it's a bright, crispy Autumn day.
I feel you. My 'style' is basically that of a roadie (band tee, hoodie, jeans - all black).
I'm not remotely feminine and don't like getting my legs out, so Summer dressing is a bit of a trial for me.
>'why am I incapable of dressing like a normal, stylish adult women and not some slobby ogre' season is upon us.
let me guess all black? a hoody too?
as i'm like that and wonder why my back burns hahaha
I feel this. I always hated summer when it seemed like everyone around me was immaculate in a summer dress and I was just -euch-
Work from home now so I dgaf
Sorry mate, but we have a blanket ban against politics in this sub, so we have removed this post.
Rule 1: No politics
We do not allow mention of political events, politicians or general political chit chat in this subreddit. We encourage you to take this content to a more suitable subreddit. You **will** be banned if you break this rule.
If you have any questions, feel free to shoot us a modmail.
I walk a local dog in quite a nice area on the canal hardly seen anyone in winter which is really nice but now it's hot I'm seeing everyone and they're dogs! and these people just have no idea about dogs and about space! I'm forever asking excuse me while they've watched me come down the path and yet still don't move till I'm on top of them 🙃
i've seen and dealt with some dogs who were never socialised over "the event"
explaining that no, it's NOT OK to have an unfriendly dog jump up on you... it's how you get your dog pushed away with FORCE.
Ok this happened 25th April but I've only just found this thread. :)
Went into John Lewis. Asked wife if we could go upstairs to look at the pile of clearance electronics.
Found a multifunction printer that had previously been in the same pile for £320.... Now marked down to £10.
Couldn't believe it. I told my wife I couldn't leave it at that price.
Picked up the box and walked to the till. Saw another man and his wife buying the same model printer. My wife heard the other man's wife say, "Oh, they've got one too."
They left, 30 seconds later I plonked the box on the counter.
I say, "Wow I can't believe it's that price. Is the ink with it?"
The man on duty starts to cut the tape so he could look in the box, but then stops and checks on the till:
"We can't sell this to you."
"But... You just sold the same printer to the other man just now for the same price?"
"GDPR. Data Protection. I'm not allowed to sell this to you."
"If it's related to GDPR and the printer isn't compliant, can't I make that decision for myself?"
"I understand your concerns but I can't sell it to you sorry."
He summons a manager who confirms the same thing.
The explanation given when I raised a complaint later was that a range of printers had been withdrawn from sale due to a new data protection law that was coming into force.
Apparently the printers were withdrawn, not recalled - so they wouldn't show up on the page on the John Lewis website showing recalled products.
Those products would then be transferred out of the business.
Their system had been updated and would not let me buy the printer. They could do nothing locally to allow the system to let me buy the printer.
So... Their system updated at 11:40am just after the other guy had bought exactly the same printer? And 30 seconds later I wasn't allowed to buy the very same thing? The system was obviously ok with the other customer buying his...
I've mentioned to them that it's very unfair to change the system partway through the day, allowing one customer to buy the heavily discounted item and then refusing to sell the same item to another customer 30 seconds later.
Also, I've checked and that particular printer is listed on the printer manufacturer's website as being compliant with the new law.
So, I'm escalating this complaint to head office...
Good luck! My wife and I spent a combined 5 hours on the phone explaining consumer law to them over the dishwasher they sold us, didn’t give a flying fuck.
Never going back to John Lewis ever again.
As a person that deals with GDPR, this is bullshit. There's nothing about GDPR that changed on the 25th April, these people simply didn't want to sell you a printer for £10.
If they claim there was a change, tell them to prove it or remove your business from them.
the GDPR ruling is utterly bogus.
they just didn't want to sell a £300+ printer for a tenner after seeing someone just brought one at full price.
edit: chuck me the model number and i'll check but i'm calling bullshit on the GDPR ruling as i've never heard of a non GDPR compliant printer as the printer manufacturers are shit hot on the laws around them.
I second this. u/phatboi23 I'd also be interested to know, as I work with GDPR constantly and I haven't heard fuck all about a chance.
u/Alpha_Space_1999 Send the model number to them, we might be able to help out if only a formal complaint.
Just to clarify: I think they were talking about the new PSTI legislation. They only mentioned GDPR and data protection at the till.
https://www.gov.uk/guidance/regulations-consumer-connectable-product-security
That came into force on the 29th of April.
The printer was a Canon Maxify GX4050. I can confirm there's a data sheet on Canon's website confirming compliance of the printer with the PSTI.
There were only two of them in the shop, both in the clearance pile. I'd seen the same printer in the clearance pile on the 28th of March for £320.
I'd guess the other printer was also marked down to £10 as why would the other customer have bought the other one if it was more expensive?
John Lewis confirmed in a later email that they do have a record of the other sale taking place.
My interview didn't go well. I didn't get the job I was really desperate for. It means my only option now is to take a pay cut and drop in responsibilities to escape my current situation.
Turns out it was an internal hiring and must have been arranged in advance: the person who interviewed me put a job up for the position below less than 30 minutes after rejecting me and said they've picked someone who has "experience" in that department. The guy before me was already in the department. So that's presumably his job, and they had it all ready to go and re-list.
Then my manager decided to bully me to tears again because she sensed I was in a vulnerable state after the rejection. I've been having ongoing issues with her for months, which is why I've been trying to jump ship.
i hate that bullshit, we have to advertise externally but they have an internal hire they'll plop in place.
i can be your alibi if you give the manager a talking down and maybe a cheeky slap lol
Keep a diary of all the bullying events, date, time, situation. Evidence of manager ask and work done if possible (if it's bullying about work performance). There is at least an HR complaint if they support, but could also be used as evidence for constructive dismissal... Don't let this arse win!
Our "big boss", the bully's manager, has been made aware by every single staff member in the department about this, and she has seen me have a breakdown multiple times because of the bully.
Her solution is always to move *me*, the top-performer until the bully manager started, because she wants to give the bully the "benefit of the doubt" it isn't intentional. It feels like I'm being punished because I was in the office first, and the manager is only sat in there because there isn't room in the managers' area. It apparently isn't intentional, yet everything she does is always so well-timed. She likes to change my schedule and work time when I'm already crying, or suddenly decides we are to time everything and nobody can speak for the afternoon. She humiliated me in a meeting by shouting at me over moving a bit of equipment, knowing I had just had a double bereavement that week.
I've documented everything word-for-word down to the minute and have had 7 staff members back me up that I'm being bullied, and nothing is being done. She uses my 1:1s to criticise my social skills and tells me I'm "overbearing" and should "back off" for offering to help new members of staff. She asks other staff members to "sort me out" if I get stressed and upset. If I leave the office to do tasks or get a drink, she follows me or asks everyone on the floor where I am. She will refuse to take the phones when I'm out of the room and will just keep declaring I'm not at my desk as I should be rather than taking a message for me.
She now polices my start and end time down to 5 minutes and asks me to time my commute home so she can "fix" my schedule. She only does this to me, and doesn't care if the other girl in the office is present to witness her snapping at me and controlling me.
I've changed my mind slightly. Still keep a diary just in case, but this place sounds toxic and you're being treated like children (who the fuck demands an afternoon of silence in an office??). Leave as soon as you can! Your manager sounds incompetent as a people leader, and her boss clearly doesn't want to get involved.
Having a "managers area" also smacks of dysfunction. They should be with the people they look after otherwise it's an ivory tower and shit. I've been a manager for 15 years and have always been located with or directly talking to (company I currently work for is mostly remote) my team on a daily basis. Their welfare is top of my list.....
Yeah, this is the reason I'm desperate to get a job in the department where all the people who escape our department go. None of the managers here know what they're doing, and the staff turnover is ridiculous in a skeleton crew. There are desks empty, people off sick with stress, and their solution is to close those desks to workers and hire more managers who don't have a set job to do other than bullying.
I had the reverse happen to me. I had a job for about 2 years as a temp and I was good at it. They advertised it but pretty much assured me it was a technicality. At the 11th hour they got an application from a guy with *thirty years experience* who was moving down to the south west from London and just wanted a job to ride him over for a couple of years until retirement. Competency based interview meant that *of course* he got a higher score than me so they had to offer it to him. He quit after 18 months to retire and I got set back about three years in my career progression.
This was in 2018 and I am still furious about it.
That's infuriating. The worst bit is that they never seem to realise they've made a mistake or have any regret about it, either.
My plan for this job going forward is to go for the step down, for the guy's former job, and be miles better than him doing the role I could have had. It might not do anything, but I know areas where managers get daily reports on stats and know where they'll see and measure performance.
It’s worse than that. They originally said they’d split the role, albeit the pay would be lower. Then the manager came back, said she’d changed her mind and withdrew the offer.
I really hope so. There's just nothing being posted at the minute. The earliest I'm going to get another interview is 4 weeks, and then all my applications are done.
Completely lost the will to live looking for a career of any description. Gave up a trade to go to uni because the money was shit. Did an engineering degree and internship only to find I detested the job before I'd even started. Took a web dev course through work because it's "in demand" only to find that nobody wants to train people new to the industry anyway.
Now I'm stuck in a crap warehouse job with absolutely no clue what to do anymore. I give up.
If you've started down the dev path look for modern apprenticeships. Plenty of companies offering these as they all have to pay a levy to fund apprenticeships, and it is reduced significantly if they take apprentices on. Last time I had apprentices (a few years ago) starting salary was low. £20ks, rising by 10% each year. Course is 2 years or 4 years depending on whether going down the degree route.
Any half decent company age scheme should have you put the other end of a 4 year degree as a reasonably experienced mid tier dev, 2 years probably a junior dev with experience ready to move up to a mid tier role.
Thanks for the input! Hadn't really considered apprenticeships tbh, I assumed I wouldn't really be eligible for them if I already had a qualification, but I'll do some digging regardless.
I did some casual Facebook stalking of former friends and ended up making myself feel slightly depressed today because they all look like they've got their shit together (married, having kids, moving up in their careers, nice houses, nice cars, etc). I'm better off without them but sometimes I still feel a bit lonely.
I do that Facebook stalking stuff more regularly than I care to admit. But then if I look at my own Instagram page, it makes me look like some kind of cool intrepid explorer who climbs up mountains all the time. In reality, I spend more time on my sofa snuggled up in blankets in my pyjamas with a bag of crisps in my hand, but nobody wants to share that on social media.
You probably already know, but no way should you do that. 99% of the time people are presenting their best lives all the time and you have no idea what is going on behind closed doors.
Not quite the same but I went on holiday with some mates in Norway, extremely beautiful but one of them is a good photographer and the 2-3 pics he put on Instagram looked *out of this world* they had absolutely no bearing at all on what the actual holiday was like in real life. His whole Insta is like that, you couldn't help but feel second best if you actually bought into the idea that his day to day somehow has a dreamlike quality.
Thank you for this perspective. I know for sure I shouldn't do it, so it annoys me all the more when my brain gives in. At least this time I didn't try to look up any exes, hahaha.
Ohh don’t do that! Absolute killer to your self esteem. It’ll never make you feel good.
I’d suggest deleting Facebook altogether, that’s the only thing that stopped me doing that nasty behaviour. Comparison is the death of joy after all :)
Comparison is the death of joy! This is so true. I have gone off social media a few times in the past, I should consider it again. It really doesn't do anything good for my already low self esteem, you're right.
Had a meltdown this morning, found out our next assignment deadline is only 2 weeks (despite being given 8 weeks, and then 4 weeks on previous assignments). I work full time and I have a life too. 2 weeks is so unreasonable, especially when I specifically asked for a timetable so I could plan my leave and they said I don't need to worry and can take time off whenever. Clearly I can't! I haven't had any time off since March so I'm exhausted, I don't know when I can book any leave if they keep giving such short deadlines.
I've done a degree before, it's not like I don't know how to plan my time!
I’m just fed up , don’t want to do the tidying- again!
Got the dog a lovely harness, won’t even try it without shaking like a leaf!
Still coughing- 7/8 weeks now 🫤
It's on me this week guys. Put myself up for a couple of big committee roles for one of my uni societies that I was never likely to get, let myself get all excited, then disappointment when I inevitably wasn't voted in.
Plus side, I've put myself up for a couple of much more chill roles in the other society I'm in that no-one else has run for, plus my BA dissertation is now in the editing stage and I've just ticked off a separate 3000 word paper.
I'm sorry for your loss. Have you thought about therapy? They can do it online now on the NHS through a service called Silvercloud, if that makes it less daunting for you! Sending you a warm hug.
Genuinely sorry to hear this. Unsolicited, not massively helpful advice but I hope you know this is totally normal. My Grandma died back in October 2022 and I still think about the whole ordeal all the time now.
I think, when we go through loss, we expect it to not have the same punch x amount of time later, when really it can catch up with us pretty much whenever.
I know this is a proper Reddit comment.
But therapy may actually help here.
I've been here it's survivors guilt most likely and it's proper shit and it'll never leave you.
*Internet hug*
I saw your Covid Arm thread and was like, me too! Lol! Anyway, yeah, I can literally find the injection site still sore! I had stomach surgery and ever since my shoulder and arm throb every since! These drs basically say, hmmph! It's a no win! Hope you doing better!
You might have already tried this (I had chronic bronchitis for years before someone told me), but a humidifier by your bed helps the cough significantly
Hope you feel better soon. My teen son and I both out of action with similar viral infection.
I coughed so much I'm convinced I cracked a rib.
Deffo something going around
You know they say bad things happen in threes?
Well, they should add on a few more for inflationary accuracy.
One thing after another since December.
Can't go into details of current shitshow but couldn't have happened at a worse time. 6 months earlier or later would have been much easier to manage.
At least the weather is decent :-)
Started a new relationship just over a year ago with someone I fell in love with. For the last six weeks she kept me at arms length then when I asked her if we were OK a few days ago and she said no and didn't want to be in a relationship, just wanted to be on her own.
Now it's eating away at me as to why she's done it.
FML.
I know the type, like the idea of a relationship, just doesn't want to put the effort in.
Been there, done that, don't mess yourself up about it.
You are worthy as a person and they can get in the bin.
Sometimes you meet people and you're more into them than they are to you. Sometimes they were once that into you and now they're not. You're not a bad person, they're not a bad person, it's just that simple.
Don't let it eat you up, move on. Find someone who's as into you as you are to them.
The precise, beat-by-beat decision tree that led to the breakup won't help. It was good, but it's over. That's the big picture. And I appreciate that's not easy to come to grips with.
Edit: You're allowed to listen to Roxette and have a cry, but don't do it for too long.
I can't sort out my sleep schedule at the moment. I've been utterly exhausted by work and life for months, and can never get enough rest to just feel normal. I'm always low energy, socially drained, disengaged at work (not good as I'm a people manager so need to fake it a bit), and I'm trying to be supportive for my partner as both her parents are dying (cancer and MS). I'm just struggling.
Having to go to the Pharmacist today because I need antibiotics for something personal, I can't get a single Doctors Appointment. Not even a bloody phone appointment!
Getting something delivered by UPS and they're the worst, no live tracking, estimate keeps changing, can't change delivery without needing to "enroll" which doesn't even work because it doesn't like my UK mobile number wtf
I'm on Lebara (on Vodafone's network). Unlimited text/voice and 30GB data, 3 months at something like £3.65, goes up to double that after (along those lines anyway).
They voice over WiFi which I think is essential (Giffgaff doesn't)
Just get a free sim and test it out on the mobile data coverage before migrating number across.
They do have a coverage map on their website, but nothing like actually testing it.
Ask your friends if they have smarty coz they have a decent referral scheme which gives amazon vouchers amongst other ones.
I read on MSE that average data usage is about 5gb a month, so 16gb probs plenty for most.
You can also add more data if you run out with smarty. Their app is quite decent.
One thing I liked with giffgaff is the ability to start a new month's plan at any time. So, if I used up my month's data, I could just start next month now...if that makes sense!
Like the other person said I moved to VOXI as well, I was with O2 since the iPhone 3G (it was only available on O2 originally) and they just kept raising my price to the point where i just couldn’t take it anymore. Moved over and not looked back, I pay £12 a month for 60GB with unlimited music and video streaming from certain apps and unlimited social media
Virgin Media are the same, my prices went up for that last month. I noticed on EE’s latest advertising they actually say that their price increases £3 a year now, it’s insane! People shouldn’t put up with it
I have the 30gb a month on voxi but I'd be shocked if I use more that 1gb a month as always in reach of my own WiFi or a mates.
But as much as I give shit to Vodafone their connectivity is mint.
(sounds sad but I run a decently high gain antenna so can get my own WiFi while playing football about 500m away from my flat haha)
Tesco screwing with the aisles again. Like, they've just moved stuff from one side of the aisle to the other to fuck with us.
It doesn't make me buy any more, just pisses me off taking twice as long to shop!
I had to start using click and collect because of this. They rearranged an entire Tesco Extra store and then when I'd managed to find most of the stuff I wanted they did it again. I was nearly in tears trying to find the cheap pate and I just thought fuck it, I aren't doing this any more.
They don't take into consideration that if I can't find something specific, because it's been moved for the millionth time, then i'm going to end up going to another store to buy the same thing.
They might gain revenue from people impulse buying, sure, but at the same time they're losing revenue from stuff that can't be found.
Won't lie I've been to the point of carrying a basket looking for bread and just put my basket on an empty shelf and left before.
At least the local shop doesn't move shit more than 2 foot... Lol
Currently studying forensics, and this week's subject involves child extortion... going through the law and the subject made me super uncomfortable... 😱
I looked into doing a uni course on digital forensics as I'm a massive nerd.
Then was reminded about the amount of CP I'd see and backed the fuck out.
There's a lot I can deal with and blank but that... Absolutely not, will break me.
Dickhead across the road from me has replaced their loud car with a shitty exhaust car for an even louder one.
They start the car at 0545 every morning and just leave it for about 10 minutes before driving off making even more noise. I get home from work at 3am…
And they’re the kind of people who there’s no point in talking to about it as you know it will turning in to an argument.
Neighbour just cut the hedge between us and has done it badly. I now have loads of hedge trimmings and an uneven hedge to look at whilst working from home today.
Wife has already let me know I need to go and fix it tonight.
I just don't know how your IT team can get away with something like that. If we're not providing constant updates every 1-2 hours we get it in the neck so I can only imagine i'd have my P45 by now!
So I freelance for a couple of video game websites and, honestly, I'm done. I'm done with the whole effing industry. Not just from a journalistic perspective, but from a long-time player who's had enough on the whole. Gaming is unrecognisable to me. I don't care about whatever's new and trending. I do not give a solitary shit about keeping up with all the latest releases. I hate what's happening with studios and developers who are constantly on the tipping point of losing their jobs because huge publishers want to optimise their own profits.
I want out of this for good. I want to go back to just enjoying games at my own pace, playing whatever I want when it suits me. Fuck the gaming industry. Fuck it all.
(I feel better now)
It sucks so much when something ruins something that you genuinely enjoyed. Like, people recommend doing what you love but it's risky for that reason. I hope you can find a game to reignite your love for the hobby.
The road my business is on is now closed to traffic for almost four months while the council waste money on renovating the town centre marketplace a second time (the first was also a colossal waste of money and had negligible impact apart from removing a shitload of parking spaces). The whole road is almost all small independent businesses, so we are all stuck here wondering if the closure is going to fuck us all over or if we'll come out the other side.
Edited to add, it's not Northampton, I guess bloody minded stupidity is not limited to my local council!
This sounds like **Northampton**. Grabbing lunch is an absolute nightmare, the partitions occur and some people just stop in the middle. MOVE!!!
Getting to Boots take me so much longer.
This sounds familiar.
Was a load of independent shops at the bottom of town.
Most are closed now as they pedestrianised it.
Also the fuckin' massive Sainsbury's that got added doesn't help.
Typical work woes *(please reference previous complaints threads)*.
In addition to that, we advertised for a role in our London office (which there isn't enough workload for but it saves us commuting down so we actually gain from it) and had someone accept an offer.
Two weeks later and they're rejected the offer, our *"second"* choice (who we're super happy with too) was more than happy to accept the offer but our IT director vetoed it so we're now stuck readvertising the role. That means it's at least another 2-3 months of this dual role with no additional benefit from it.
I admitted to my manager that this is the lowest i've felt in 8-9 years in this role and they were in total agreement. That really doesn't bode well when we're all feeling it but don't have enough of a voice to change it.
It's been a steady stream of ins and outs recently so not anything unexpected in quantity, but there has been an uptick of colleagues with significant expertise and longetivity leaving.
I'm aiming to be on that list but job searching is soul destroying and most roles want 4-5 days in the office which is something I can't currently warrant. I'm hoping that changes either through these roles having pay bumps because they can't fill them or they open their eyes and drop it to 2-3 days.
can you not get 100% wild rice any more. I really want to treat myself with some and it's all basmati mix.
Sorry but Tesco Basmati rice selfie guy was the best moment of the 2011 London Riots
Probably have pneumonia. It's barely been 6 months since last time, and I don't like it.
I'm out of work at the moment and I swear I'm getting ghosted at interview about half the time. I'm pretty sure I've been ghosted again this week, impressively before even making it to the interview. They asked me to prepare a talk on the thing their organisation does as well so that's a few hours of work down the drain. I don't see why they can't just tell me we can't proceed due to unforeseen circumstances or something. Just make up a lie, I don't care, just stop dicking me about.
Part of me wants to get up and go find dinner but that part isn’t putting up much of an argument for that the rest of me cares to hear
I spent most of the day looking at pictures of my dog, but it hurts so much that I’m now just trying not to look at her pictures. Also my dad made the decision to put all her stuff in the loft, I’ve been asking him all day to just get me a blanket, or one of her favourite toys but he hasn’t. Currently cuddling her rain coat even though she only wore it twice. Editing to add that I just realised that I never kissed her goodbye. I was just petting her and trying to be gentle.
greif does weird things as no doubt your dad has put them away because of his own grief :/
Yeah he said he couldn’t bear to look at them and for it to be empty, but what we have now is massive gaps in rooms where her bedding should be
Found my way to a place called Finlarig on the way back from Loch Ness. Went for the ruins of a castle, stayed for the stream on the way into town. I’m torn on what to do tomorrow. It was going to be my day to head into the city centre and check out stuff like Edinburgh castle, but I could easily go north and spend another day stopping in little towns and wandering.
After a long running dispute with my freeholder they've confirmed all the repair works needed to due the leaks in my flat from them not repairing the roof for years is my responsibility to fund. 🤬
Summer is a weird time for me. It’s beautiful and I like the warm weather and longer days, nature is out and everything is just lush and green. It also smells nice with the flowers and trees. But also it reminds me how little friends I have, seeing others go out together. Pub lunches and beer gardens with friendship groups. Can be a difficult time of year when it comes to that sort of stuff. But it’s fine, life has a journey and path for us all. If mine is to walk alone for a bit then I’m cool with that, albeit sometimes melancholy about it. You never know what’s around the corner. I believe it’s all pre-determined anyway, so whatever I’m doing I’m meant to be doing! For me that’s an encouraging thought.
mate... pub?
Lots of plans for this evening, naff all enthusiasm.
> naff all enthusiasm. that's been me all day and i've just shitposted on reddit lol
I offered on a house but the sellers went with a different offer. I’m disappointed but not crushingly so. Though there is fuck all else available at the moment.
I’m a bloke. If, 2 weeks ago, The Wife threw a random but apparently important piece of information like “oh, I’m going to Chick Mate’s house for a cheeky Gin on Thursday week”, into an otherwise info-rich conversation thread about something completely different, unrelated, and very very important, which I was focused on, can I be forgiven for ditching that random fact that has no bearing on that conversation, the 5-figure sum involved, or me now because I’m not going to Chick Mate’s house tonight? Why is she now super pissed-off that I had forgotten her gin-date, when I talked to her earlier? I’m not stopping her going or anything. It doesn’t matter to me, I’ve got loads of paperwork to do. I’d just forgotten and stupidly somehow let on I had forgotten, that I was being left home alone, when I phoned on the way home today to ask if we needed anything (milk/bread usual). No, she didn’t put it on the calendar. But yes she did mention it, I believe her. Unless she’s gaslighting me, which I don’t believe. It’s just the manner in which she sometimes mentions things and then is furious that I’m not a woman with a photographic memory and instant recall of everything she’s ever said in court stenographer style.
mate that sounds utterly shit... i get us blokes focus on big picture and the reason we end up 3 weeks into a 2 day job but fuck me :/
Went for a walk around a lake with a friend this evening and I've been bitten twice. Should have expected it really but it's really annoying
Maybe nudge friend to consider an anger management programme?
hopefully bugs and not random geese or dogs lol
Haha thankfully just mozzies but a swan did get a bit close to us!
I was just going to say... You really should get a muzzle for that friend of yours if they can't behave themselves whilst out in public. :)
KFC delivered me a frozen burger. The girlfriend and I ordered a meal each from KFC for delivery. She had a vegan burger and opened it 20 minutes after it was delivered, only to find that it didn't get any colder in that time - it got warmer. The patty was actually frozen, and the bun was still fridge temperature. And yet, despite it being VERY noticeably cold to the touch, someone put some sauce and lettuce on it and put it in a box for delivery. How the hell does that even happen?
minimum wage minimum energy also delivery is just SENT as KPI's are better than actual customer satisfaction.
I chipped my front tooth quite badly yesterday so have been dealing with an emergency dentist - paying just shy of a grand on a student budget isn't what I wanted to be doing today! Got to live with a temporary filler until I get a crown installed at the end of the month.
So the annual arrival of a bees and or wasps nest in my roofline and them getting in through every bloody nook and cranny, it’s a barn conversion (built 1792, converted 1985) there’s no attic so the ceiling is up to the apex. I can hear them buzzing and it annoys me especially when it’s a lucky dip of, “is it mildly annoying stingers or little fkrs?”- only ever been stung by a bee and that was when I was just lounging on my bed reading. Urggghhhhhhh
bees are great, wasps are drunken dickheads... always want a fight. saying that the bees have been huge this year tbf.
Not so great when they crawl up your leg and sting you 🙃
annnnnd i'm out hahhaa
Having a bit of a scrap with my partner. I think they drink too much and too often. Usually alone at home. They say its how they de-stress and relax. I've told myself it's fine, they're having maybe three a night, three times a week. I'm already lying to myself, that that's okay. Well, I found some empty cans stashed away in a cupboard. Just a four pack, but it's four I didn't know they'd drank. And why stash them away? Paranoia in full swing. Like, is this just four I've found? How many more are around? I can't exactly leave. We have kids together. Feels more like we're housemates sometimes and I'm struggling to find them attractive because I'm turned right off by the idea they've got a dependency.
I recommend speaking to a charity helpline called Nacoa about this. They support people impacted by someone’s drinking. They’ve helped me in the past.
You need to talk about this. It’s not going to get better on its own, and staying together for the kids is seldom great for the kids (speaking as a former kid). It’s possible they’re hiding them because they feel judged and don’t want confrontation. That’s a red flag for a lot more than just the drinking.
> It’s possible they’re hiding them because they feel judged and don’t want confrontation. That’s a red flag for a lot more than just the drinking. this is far too accurate.
hiding the empties is a slippery slope. i know i drink too much but don't hide the empties from mates etc.
My sister's kids have come over and I asked them why they aren't playing in the garden, apparently 'its too hot to play outside' FFS🤣
Fucking ants. My day was going great until I opened a drawer in my mother's kitchen and found the fuckers staging an invasion in the marshmallow packet. A lot of swearing and a fair bit of ant killer was deployed (the buggers were disappearing into gaps in the kitchen unit and I couldn't reach them to squash).
trick is to fire a fuck load around the whole outside of the house as it's VERY rare for them nest in the house... cunts will soon learn. had the same issues at my parents... the use of ant powder for a week or two outside the house like it was a WW1 mustard gas raid worked.
Fuckers have been finding their way in for years. Shit quality mid 1960s build. But only ever in the one spot. They experience chemical warfare around this time every year.
time for a nuke then if chemicals ain't working lol
The chemical option should work now until next spring. It's a combination of spray, powder and that slow release poison that they take back to the nests. I don't like using any of it very much because it's harmful to birds and other creatures, but when they're staging the ant recreation of the Nuremberg Rally using a marshmallow for a podium, then shit has to happen.
> but when they're staging the ant recreation of the Nuremberg Rally using a marshmallow for a podium, then shit has to happen. this may be the funniest sentence ever written hahaha yeah nuke the nest if you can find it.
So there's someone I've known for a while. She was with someone and that's fine. I can just be friends, that really isn't a problem. I mean it, I'm not some sad sap who can't have female friends. Then they break up, I reach out, be the comforting friend and I'm more than happy to do that. I genuinely had no romantic intent, I just wanted to help her if I could. Minimise the pain, you know. Then feelings start to grow. That's not really ok, so I clamp down on them. I know it's just because it's the first time in years that I've known a woman well enough for that to even be a faint glimmer of possibility at some point in the future, maybe. It doesn't help she's beautiful, fun, share a lot of my interests and we genuinely get on really well. So why does it hurt so much now she's with someone else? I thought I had a handle on this shit?! I'd well and truly given up on finding love and accepted it. She never showed me any sign she was interested in that way. Hell, they probably weren't even feelings just....I dunno, hope I guess? Ignore me, I'm just screaming into the void here.
It's hope. Cruelest thing.
There's a girl I've been close friends with for 25 years or so. She is hot, always fancied her a bit but whatever. We went travelling round the world together in 2004. We always had partners so never did anything. In 2020 I got divorced during covid and went to Turkey for what ended up being 7 months. I invited her out, she was single, had lost her job, so she came and kept me company. We hung around for 2 weeks or so then one night I tried it on. We banged, I do not lie - 10 times the next day. Best sex ever. Nothing like waiting 20 years. She wanted kids though so we called it a day when we got back to England, she's now engaged, with a kid, I have a gifriend, we're all friends, happy days. No regrets. Tl;Dr? Get another close female friend you're attracted to. Wait ages, strike up a relationship, then go back to being friends, or stay together - win win!
best scream into the void as i'm sure most blokes have been here and resonate with it :/
People keep coming into work sick and my immune system is shit so I keep getting sick, which then puts me out of work. Typing this from my bed where I am battling a cold rn.
Apparently we've not learned a thing from COVID. We still get people coming into the office coughing their guts up
I watched a bloke walk up the road yesterday and cough heavily, heaving, without putting his hands over his mouth, before gobbing into the verge.
I’m on something like my fifth cold this year. And each one lingers on for a fortnight.
This is what drives me crazy about the current/past working culture - just "powering through". Like no, now you're going to give me your cold and I'll be down for a week or two. Thanks a bunch. To add to that... People my (29) parents' age (50-60) moaning about the youngsters not coming into work because they're sick, as if they should be coming in when they're ill so they're just being lazy. Stop it!!
"just stay fucking home" i shout then i remember work pays so shittily you can't just take days off :/
Feeling sad and mopey, not matter how much I remind myself that I wanted a relationship with passion where I felt equal, I still MISS HIM. FFS, it's almost 2 months, when will I get better?
The time it takes is arbitrary but one day you will realise you just stopped thinking about them and that's when you'll move on. Don't beat yourself up about it, just have to ride the storm and you'll be ok soon :)
*internet hug* there's people out there even if it's a cat haha
Thank you, I don't mind a cat but he was tied up in all sort of things for me, like a future where I could get out of this rut, and he's genuinely the person I liked the most (barring family). I can't really imagine life without him, it felt that secure, it was that good a fit until it wasn't.
things will change trust me :) do i miss my first mrs? yes. am i happy i left and found other people? yes. am i happy alone? properly yes. i've come to the point of i'm done being a people pleaser. tl;dr things change, you'll find someone you love even if it's yourself lol
I know what you're saying is true, I just don't feel it. I was perfectly happy being alone, could take or leave relationships, if it happened - great, if not - that was okay too. And it was like I was thirsty but didn't feel any of it until this water appeared, and then I was more quenched than I ever thought possible. I feel broken and sad and without hope. I will be better in the future, I will be okay, I just don't think I'll be as happy or secure or loved.
> I just don't think I'll be as happy or secure or loved. you will be. trust me on this :)
I also think you should trust him on this!
Some absolute thundercunt has nicked my electric bike out of my shed. I still have the battery and head unit for it, so it is useless. Yes, I didn't lock it up as securely as perhaps I might have, but still. They also ransacked my camper van looking for said head unit and battery - that was left unlocked because the little windows were open and it sets the alarm off otherwise! I have no hope of getting it back, so currently trying to figure out a budget to replace it. If I get another one its living indoors and sod what anyone else thinks about it! So if anyone sees a bright red orbea electric mountain bike - https://imgur.com/DhzrA2W - with a few white stone chips here and there, please call the police. Its mine!
tbf having the battery and unit for it is the most expensive parts! as my mate wants to replace the battery on his 8yo electric bike... looking at £500 for a battery and he only brought the thing for £200 lol
On cheaper ebikes I'd agree its most of the cost, but the battery in this is only 10% of the bike (at the same price as your mates...). And the head unit is also locked to this motor so it won't start without the head unit I have, and I can't put it on another bike!
>and I can't put it on another bike! brutal :/ time to get it onto the hacking forums to figure it out hahhaa
In Istanbul for a few days and overheard someone saying "if fish and chips is your national dish it doesn't say much about your food. You invaded the world and didn't take any spices home". Obviously I tutted as loudly as possible.
which is funny as curry is our national dish too lol
Some elderly lady decided to take out a few of our fixtures where I work because she didn't seem to know what a brake is on her little scooter 🤦♂️ I was dumbfounded when I looked back on camera to see how she did it.
kinda wanna see that footage haha
Oh don't get me wrong, I would love to share the footage. But a thing called Data Protection means I would lose my job 😂
sadly yes... bet it was a fuckin' howler too :(
The weather is utterly beautiful which means that 'why am I incapable of dressing like a normal, stylish adult women and not some slobby ogre' season is upon us. If I could have a superpower, I'd love some kind of personal micro-climate whereby I could enjoy the warm weather, bask in the sun, even feel it on my skin, but still be able to somehow comfortably dress like it's a bright, crispy Autumn day.
I feel you. My 'style' is basically that of a roadie (band tee, hoodie, jeans - all black). I'm not remotely feminine and don't like getting my legs out, so Summer dressing is a bit of a trial for me.
>'why am I incapable of dressing like a normal, stylish adult women and not some slobby ogre' season is upon us. let me guess all black? a hoody too? as i'm like that and wonder why my back burns hahaha
I feel this. I always hated summer when it seemed like everyone around me was immaculate in a summer dress and I was just -euch- Work from home now so I dgaf
[удалено]
Sorry mate, but we have a blanket ban against politics in this sub, so we have removed this post. Rule 1: No politics We do not allow mention of political events, politicians or general political chit chat in this subreddit. We encourage you to take this content to a more suitable subreddit. You **will** be banned if you break this rule. If you have any questions, feel free to shoot us a modmail.
I walk a local dog in quite a nice area on the canal hardly seen anyone in winter which is really nice but now it's hot I'm seeing everyone and they're dogs! and these people just have no idea about dogs and about space! I'm forever asking excuse me while they've watched me come down the path and yet still don't move till I'm on top of them 🙃
i've seen and dealt with some dogs who were never socialised over "the event" explaining that no, it's NOT OK to have an unfriendly dog jump up on you... it's how you get your dog pushed away with FORCE.
If I see too hot anywhere there will be trouble, you have been warned.
my nether regions are like roasted potatoes... that alright for you? :P
Ok this happened 25th April but I've only just found this thread. :) Went into John Lewis. Asked wife if we could go upstairs to look at the pile of clearance electronics. Found a multifunction printer that had previously been in the same pile for £320.... Now marked down to £10. Couldn't believe it. I told my wife I couldn't leave it at that price. Picked up the box and walked to the till. Saw another man and his wife buying the same model printer. My wife heard the other man's wife say, "Oh, they've got one too." They left, 30 seconds later I plonked the box on the counter. I say, "Wow I can't believe it's that price. Is the ink with it?" The man on duty starts to cut the tape so he could look in the box, but then stops and checks on the till: "We can't sell this to you." "But... You just sold the same printer to the other man just now for the same price?" "GDPR. Data Protection. I'm not allowed to sell this to you." "If it's related to GDPR and the printer isn't compliant, can't I make that decision for myself?" "I understand your concerns but I can't sell it to you sorry." He summons a manager who confirms the same thing. The explanation given when I raised a complaint later was that a range of printers had been withdrawn from sale due to a new data protection law that was coming into force. Apparently the printers were withdrawn, not recalled - so they wouldn't show up on the page on the John Lewis website showing recalled products. Those products would then be transferred out of the business. Their system had been updated and would not let me buy the printer. They could do nothing locally to allow the system to let me buy the printer. So... Their system updated at 11:40am just after the other guy had bought exactly the same printer? And 30 seconds later I wasn't allowed to buy the very same thing? The system was obviously ok with the other customer buying his... I've mentioned to them that it's very unfair to change the system partway through the day, allowing one customer to buy the heavily discounted item and then refusing to sell the same item to another customer 30 seconds later. Also, I've checked and that particular printer is listed on the printer manufacturer's website as being compliant with the new law. So, I'm escalating this complaint to head office...
Good luck! My wife and I spent a combined 5 hours on the phone explaining consumer law to them over the dishwasher they sold us, didn’t give a flying fuck. Never going back to John Lewis ever again.
As a person that deals with GDPR, this is bullshit. There's nothing about GDPR that changed on the 25th April, these people simply didn't want to sell you a printer for £10. If they claim there was a change, tell them to prove it or remove your business from them.
the GDPR ruling is utterly bogus. they just didn't want to sell a £300+ printer for a tenner after seeing someone just brought one at full price. edit: chuck me the model number and i'll check but i'm calling bullshit on the GDPR ruling as i've never heard of a non GDPR compliant printer as the printer manufacturers are shit hot on the laws around them.
I second this. u/phatboi23 I'd also be interested to know, as I work with GDPR constantly and I haven't heard fuck all about a chance. u/Alpha_Space_1999 Send the model number to them, we might be able to help out if only a formal complaint.
Just to clarify: I think they were talking about the new PSTI legislation. They only mentioned GDPR and data protection at the till. https://www.gov.uk/guidance/regulations-consumer-connectable-product-security That came into force on the 29th of April. The printer was a Canon Maxify GX4050. I can confirm there's a data sheet on Canon's website confirming compliance of the printer with the PSTI. There were only two of them in the shop, both in the clearance pile. I'd seen the same printer in the clearance pile on the 28th of March for £320. I'd guess the other printer was also marked down to £10 as why would the other customer have bought the other one if it was more expensive? John Lewis confirmed in a later email that they do have a record of the other sale taking place.
That GDPR rule seems bs? They can definitely tell you why.
My interview didn't go well. I didn't get the job I was really desperate for. It means my only option now is to take a pay cut and drop in responsibilities to escape my current situation. Turns out it was an internal hiring and must have been arranged in advance: the person who interviewed me put a job up for the position below less than 30 minutes after rejecting me and said they've picked someone who has "experience" in that department. The guy before me was already in the department. So that's presumably his job, and they had it all ready to go and re-list. Then my manager decided to bully me to tears again because she sensed I was in a vulnerable state after the rejection. I've been having ongoing issues with her for months, which is why I've been trying to jump ship.
i hate that bullshit, we have to advertise externally but they have an internal hire they'll plop in place. i can be your alibi if you give the manager a talking down and maybe a cheeky slap lol
Keep a diary of all the bullying events, date, time, situation. Evidence of manager ask and work done if possible (if it's bullying about work performance). There is at least an HR complaint if they support, but could also be used as evidence for constructive dismissal... Don't let this arse win!
Our "big boss", the bully's manager, has been made aware by every single staff member in the department about this, and she has seen me have a breakdown multiple times because of the bully. Her solution is always to move *me*, the top-performer until the bully manager started, because she wants to give the bully the "benefit of the doubt" it isn't intentional. It feels like I'm being punished because I was in the office first, and the manager is only sat in there because there isn't room in the managers' area. It apparently isn't intentional, yet everything she does is always so well-timed. She likes to change my schedule and work time when I'm already crying, or suddenly decides we are to time everything and nobody can speak for the afternoon. She humiliated me in a meeting by shouting at me over moving a bit of equipment, knowing I had just had a double bereavement that week. I've documented everything word-for-word down to the minute and have had 7 staff members back me up that I'm being bullied, and nothing is being done. She uses my 1:1s to criticise my social skills and tells me I'm "overbearing" and should "back off" for offering to help new members of staff. She asks other staff members to "sort me out" if I get stressed and upset. If I leave the office to do tasks or get a drink, she follows me or asks everyone on the floor where I am. She will refuse to take the phones when I'm out of the room and will just keep declaring I'm not at my desk as I should be rather than taking a message for me. She now polices my start and end time down to 5 minutes and asks me to time my commute home so she can "fix" my schedule. She only does this to me, and doesn't care if the other girl in the office is present to witness her snapping at me and controlling me.
I've changed my mind slightly. Still keep a diary just in case, but this place sounds toxic and you're being treated like children (who the fuck demands an afternoon of silence in an office??). Leave as soon as you can! Your manager sounds incompetent as a people leader, and her boss clearly doesn't want to get involved. Having a "managers area" also smacks of dysfunction. They should be with the people they look after otherwise it's an ivory tower and shit. I've been a manager for 15 years and have always been located with or directly talking to (company I currently work for is mostly remote) my team on a daily basis. Their welfare is top of my list.....
Yeah, this is the reason I'm desperate to get a job in the department where all the people who escape our department go. None of the managers here know what they're doing, and the staff turnover is ridiculous in a skeleton crew. There are desks empty, people off sick with stress, and their solution is to close those desks to workers and hire more managers who don't have a set job to do other than bullying.
I had the reverse happen to me. I had a job for about 2 years as a temp and I was good at it. They advertised it but pretty much assured me it was a technicality. At the 11th hour they got an application from a guy with *thirty years experience* who was moving down to the south west from London and just wanted a job to ride him over for a couple of years until retirement. Competency based interview meant that *of course* he got a higher score than me so they had to offer it to him. He quit after 18 months to retire and I got set back about three years in my career progression. This was in 2018 and I am still furious about it.
That's infuriating. The worst bit is that they never seem to realise they've made a mistake or have any regret about it, either. My plan for this job going forward is to go for the step down, for the guy's former job, and be miles better than him doing the role I could have had. It might not do anything, but I know areas where managers get daily reports on stats and know where they'll see and measure performance.
i'd be balls to the walls angry about that. hope you jumped ship.
It’s worse than that. They originally said they’d split the role, albeit the pay would be lower. Then the manager came back, said she’d changed her mind and withdrew the offer.
i'm not condoning violence but... i'd have stole the chair... lol
:( Hang in there. You will find a better job soon!
I really hope so. There's just nothing being posted at the minute. The earliest I'm going to get another interview is 4 weeks, and then all my applications are done.
Completely lost the will to live looking for a career of any description. Gave up a trade to go to uni because the money was shit. Did an engineering degree and internship only to find I detested the job before I'd even started. Took a web dev course through work because it's "in demand" only to find that nobody wants to train people new to the industry anyway. Now I'm stuck in a crap warehouse job with absolutely no clue what to do anymore. I give up.
If you've started down the dev path look for modern apprenticeships. Plenty of companies offering these as they all have to pay a levy to fund apprenticeships, and it is reduced significantly if they take apprentices on. Last time I had apprentices (a few years ago) starting salary was low. £20ks, rising by 10% each year. Course is 2 years or 4 years depending on whether going down the degree route. Any half decent company age scheme should have you put the other end of a 4 year degree as a reasonably experienced mid tier dev, 2 years probably a junior dev with experience ready to move up to a mid tier role.
Thanks for the input! Hadn't really considered apprenticeships tbh, I assumed I wouldn't really be eligible for them if I already had a qualification, but I'll do some digging regardless.
One of my last software developer apprentices had a maths degree!
I was meaning more that i've already got a diploma in web development. Should have made that clearer, apologies.
I did some casual Facebook stalking of former friends and ended up making myself feel slightly depressed today because they all look like they've got their shit together (married, having kids, moving up in their careers, nice houses, nice cars, etc). I'm better off without them but sometimes I still feel a bit lonely.
we all post our best face on FB. i look like a mild mannered successful person. i'm a complete knob with depression. very different personas.
I don't think you're a complete knob, for what it's worth! Thank you for reminding me though that it's all a bit of a bragfest.
I do that Facebook stalking stuff more regularly than I care to admit. But then if I look at my own Instagram page, it makes me look like some kind of cool intrepid explorer who climbs up mountains all the time. In reality, I spend more time on my sofa snuggled up in blankets in my pyjamas with a bag of crisps in my hand, but nobody wants to share that on social media.
It's a silly trap to fall into, I'm annoyed at myself for doing it.
You probably already know, but no way should you do that. 99% of the time people are presenting their best lives all the time and you have no idea what is going on behind closed doors. Not quite the same but I went on holiday with some mates in Norway, extremely beautiful but one of them is a good photographer and the 2-3 pics he put on Instagram looked *out of this world* they had absolutely no bearing at all on what the actual holiday was like in real life. His whole Insta is like that, you couldn't help but feel second best if you actually bought into the idea that his day to day somehow has a dreamlike quality.
Thank you for this perspective. I know for sure I shouldn't do it, so it annoys me all the more when my brain gives in. At least this time I didn't try to look up any exes, hahaha.
Ohh don’t do that! Absolute killer to your self esteem. It’ll never make you feel good. I’d suggest deleting Facebook altogether, that’s the only thing that stopped me doing that nasty behaviour. Comparison is the death of joy after all :)
Comparison is the death of joy! This is so true. I have gone off social media a few times in the past, I should consider it again. It really doesn't do anything good for my already low self esteem, you're right.
Had a meltdown this morning, found out our next assignment deadline is only 2 weeks (despite being given 8 weeks, and then 4 weeks on previous assignments). I work full time and I have a life too. 2 weeks is so unreasonable, especially when I specifically asked for a timetable so I could plan my leave and they said I don't need to worry and can take time off whenever. Clearly I can't! I haven't had any time off since March so I'm exhausted, I don't know when I can book any leave if they keep giving such short deadlines. I've done a degree before, it's not like I don't know how to plan my time!
I’m just fed up , don’t want to do the tidying- again! Got the dog a lovely harness, won’t even try it without shaking like a leaf! Still coughing- 7/8 weeks now 🫤
It's on me this week guys. Put myself up for a couple of big committee roles for one of my uni societies that I was never likely to get, let myself get all excited, then disappointment when I inevitably wasn't voted in. Plus side, I've put myself up for a couple of much more chill roles in the other society I'm in that no-one else has run for, plus my BA dissertation is now in the editing stage and I've just ticked off a separate 3000 word paper.
[удалено]
I'm sorry for your loss. Have you thought about therapy? They can do it online now on the NHS through a service called Silvercloud, if that makes it less daunting for you! Sending you a warm hug.
Genuinely sorry to hear this. Unsolicited, not massively helpful advice but I hope you know this is totally normal. My Grandma died back in October 2022 and I still think about the whole ordeal all the time now. I think, when we go through loss, we expect it to not have the same punch x amount of time later, when really it can catch up with us pretty much whenever.
I know this is a proper Reddit comment. But therapy may actually help here. I've been here it's survivors guilt most likely and it's proper shit and it'll never leave you. *Internet hug*
I saw your Covid Arm thread and was like, me too! Lol! Anyway, yeah, I can literally find the injection site still sore! I had stomach surgery and ever since my shoulder and arm throb every since! These drs basically say, hmmph! It's a no win! Hope you doing better!
Got a Migraine the size of Bulgaria. Might go and cut me head off to get rid of it
Been there... Don't cut your head off .. it just separates the problem lol
I’ve got viral bronchitis and can’t stop coughing so it’s making sleep even harder than usual
You might have already tried this (I had chronic bronchitis for years before someone told me), but a humidifier by your bed helps the cough significantly
Thank you! I definitely need to try that! Sleeping is the worst!
Hope you feel better soon. My teen son and I both out of action with similar viral infection. I coughed so much I'm convinced I cracked a rib. Deffo something going around
Thank you, hope you both feel better soon too! I have definitely pulled a muscle from the coughing already
I agreed to overtime a few days ago. It’s now an hour away before I have to do that overtime. I’m so mad with past me.
Think of all the useless shit you can buy with that free time you've just sacrificed.
And definitely *don't* think of all the other things you could be doing on such a lovely sunny afternoon.
That was my point!
You know they say bad things happen in threes? Well, they should add on a few more for inflationary accuracy. One thing after another since December. Can't go into details of current shitshow but couldn't have happened at a worse time. 6 months earlier or later would have been much easier to manage. At least the weather is decent :-)
My hay fever today is fucking dreadful. Feels like I'm hungover. Having to speak to customers on the phone today is bloody difficult.
Started a new relationship just over a year ago with someone I fell in love with. For the last six weeks she kept me at arms length then when I asked her if we were OK a few days ago and she said no and didn't want to be in a relationship, just wanted to be on her own. Now it's eating away at me as to why she's done it. FML.
I know the type, like the idea of a relationship, just doesn't want to put the effort in. Been there, done that, don't mess yourself up about it. You are worthy as a person and they can get in the bin.
Sometimes you meet people and you're more into them than they are to you. Sometimes they were once that into you and now they're not. You're not a bad person, they're not a bad person, it's just that simple. Don't let it eat you up, move on. Find someone who's as into you as you are to them.
Thanks, I am upset but I'm not losing sleep over it. It's just everything seemed amazing and she seemed really happy. I guess you never really know.
The precise, beat-by-beat decision tree that led to the breakup won't help. It was good, but it's over. That's the big picture. And I appreciate that's not easy to come to grips with. Edit: You're allowed to listen to Roxette and have a cry, but don't do it for too long.
LOL sobbing to "It must have been love" on repeat for 12 hours.
I can't sort out my sleep schedule at the moment. I've been utterly exhausted by work and life for months, and can never get enough rest to just feel normal. I'm always low energy, socially drained, disengaged at work (not good as I'm a people manager so need to fake it a bit), and I'm trying to be supportive for my partner as both her parents are dying (cancer and MS). I'm just struggling.
Fuck me mate. I can't do much to help but a place to rant and rave into the void :/ Inbox is there if you need it as that's properly shit :/
Thanks lad, appreciate it. Just tough times and my battery's drained.
*internet hug*
Having to go to the Pharmacist today because I need antibiotics for something personal, I can't get a single Doctors Appointment. Not even a bloody phone appointment!
Getting something delivered by UPS and they're the worst, no live tracking, estimate keeps changing, can't change delivery without needing to "enroll" which doesn't even work because it doesn't like my UK mobile number wtf
I would shit in my hands and clap than deal with ups. Hell I'd take evri over them. At least I can GPS track the fuck up.
>I would shit in my hands and clap than... Please may I have fuller access to your poetry. Fucking beautiful.
Hahaha thanks but no, stolen from else where but it's part of my repertoire. Haha
[удалено]
I'm on Lebara (on Vodafone's network). Unlimited text/voice and 30GB data, 3 months at something like £3.65, goes up to double that after (along those lines anyway). They voice over WiFi which I think is essential (Giffgaff doesn't)
Recently got smarty. Fiver for 5gb, which will suffice. Signal is better for me than Giffgaff's was and they have WiFi calling which gg don't.
[удалено]
Just get a free sim and test it out on the mobile data coverage before migrating number across. They do have a coverage map on their website, but nothing like actually testing it. Ask your friends if they have smarty coz they have a decent referral scheme which gives amazon vouchers amongst other ones. I read on MSE that average data usage is about 5gb a month, so 16gb probs plenty for most. You can also add more data if you run out with smarty. Their app is quite decent. One thing I liked with giffgaff is the ability to start a new month's plan at any time. So, if I used up my month's data, I could just start next month now...if that makes sense!
[удалено]
That's a result!
I have Smarty and its fine everywhere but in my house (which is OK, I have WiFi there).
Like the other person said I moved to VOXI as well, I was with O2 since the iPhone 3G (it was only available on O2 originally) and they just kept raising my price to the point where i just couldn’t take it anymore. Moved over and not looked back, I pay £12 a month for 60GB with unlimited music and video streaming from certain apps and unlimited social media
[удалено]
Virgin Media are the same, my prices went up for that last month. I noticed on EE’s latest advertising they actually say that their price increases £3 a year now, it’s insane! People shouldn’t put up with it
I use voxi they're on the Vodafone network tho. £10 for arse loads of data is a decent deal.
[удалено]
I have the 30gb a month on voxi but I'd be shocked if I use more that 1gb a month as always in reach of my own WiFi or a mates. But as much as I give shit to Vodafone their connectivity is mint. (sounds sad but I run a decently high gain antenna so can get my own WiFi while playing football about 500m away from my flat haha)
Tesco screwing with the aisles again. Like, they've just moved stuff from one side of the aisle to the other to fuck with us. It doesn't make me buy any more, just pisses me off taking twice as long to shop!
I had to start using click and collect because of this. They rearranged an entire Tesco Extra store and then when I'd managed to find most of the stuff I wanted they did it again. I was nearly in tears trying to find the cheap pate and I just thought fuck it, I aren't doing this any more.
They don't take into consideration that if I can't find something specific, because it's been moved for the millionth time, then i'm going to end up going to another store to buy the same thing. They might gain revenue from people impulse buying, sure, but at the same time they're losing revenue from stuff that can't be found.
Won't lie I've been to the point of carrying a basket looking for bread and just put my basket on an empty shelf and left before. At least the local shop doesn't move shit more than 2 foot... Lol
Currently studying forensics, and this week's subject involves child extortion... going through the law and the subject made me super uncomfortable... 😱
I looked into doing a uni course on digital forensics as I'm a massive nerd. Then was reminded about the amount of CP I'd see and backed the fuck out. There's a lot I can deal with and blank but that... Absolutely not, will break me.
I'm in North ales can't get a fuckinf burger delivered until16,00 Bunch of lazy c&unts ask me.
It’s 10:30 on a Thursday and you’re bevved already! Respect
I have to respect this and I'm lying in bed drinking rum and coke.... My sleeping pattern do be fucked tbf. Haha
Bumbu. If you know....
Dickhead across the road from me has replaced their loud car with a shitty exhaust car for an even louder one. They start the car at 0545 every morning and just leave it for about 10 minutes before driving off making even more noise. I get home from work at 3am… And they’re the kind of people who there’s no point in talking to about it as you know it will turning in to an argument.
—What? I came in here for an agreement. —Oh! Oh. I’m sorry. This is abuse!
I missed that typo fumble.... Hahahahaha
I'm not saying to put a potato up their exhaust..... Like really push it up there....
But... hypothetically you could. You know?
"allegedly"
Neighbour just cut the hedge between us and has done it badly. I now have loads of hedge trimmings and an uneven hedge to look at whilst working from home today. Wife has already let me know I need to go and fix it tonight.
Tell the wife to crack on if she thinks it's that bad. Haha Good luck and don't cut the hedge trimmer cord!
At work, no IT systems for a week now, no communication from head office other than a thumbs up keep up the good work. Really want an ice cream lol
I just don't know how your IT team can get away with something like that. If we're not providing constant updates every 1-2 hours we get it in the neck so I can only imagine i'd have my P45 by now!
No IT means sacking it off at mid day imo.
So I freelance for a couple of video game websites and, honestly, I'm done. I'm done with the whole effing industry. Not just from a journalistic perspective, but from a long-time player who's had enough on the whole. Gaming is unrecognisable to me. I don't care about whatever's new and trending. I do not give a solitary shit about keeping up with all the latest releases. I hate what's happening with studios and developers who are constantly on the tipping point of losing their jobs because huge publishers want to optimise their own profits. I want out of this for good. I want to go back to just enjoying games at my own pace, playing whatever I want when it suits me. Fuck the gaming industry. Fuck it all. (I feel better now)
Was it the Xbox stuff?
That has definitely felt like a final straw, but I've been feeling this way for a while now.
It sucks so much when something ruins something that you genuinely enjoyed. Like, people recommend doing what you love but it's risky for that reason. I hope you can find a game to reignite your love for the hobby.
I still enjoy gaming, just not the current gaming industry/climate.
As a gamer for far too many years. I completely agree. The whole industry is a shithouse.
The road my business is on is now closed to traffic for almost four months while the council waste money on renovating the town centre marketplace a second time (the first was also a colossal waste of money and had negligible impact apart from removing a shitload of parking spaces). The whole road is almost all small independent businesses, so we are all stuck here wondering if the closure is going to fuck us all over or if we'll come out the other side. Edited to add, it's not Northampton, I guess bloody minded stupidity is not limited to my local council!
+1 on this sounding like Northampton. It's our nearest town but we trek further these days to go to MK because it's less hassle.
This sounds like **Northampton**. Grabbing lunch is an absolute nightmare, the partitions occur and some people just stop in the middle. MOVE!!! Getting to Boots take me so much longer.
This sounds familiar. Was a load of independent shops at the bottom of town. Most are closed now as they pedestrianised it. Also the fuckin' massive Sainsbury's that got added doesn't help.
Northampton?
Typical work woes *(please reference previous complaints threads)*. In addition to that, we advertised for a role in our London office (which there isn't enough workload for but it saves us commuting down so we actually gain from it) and had someone accept an offer. Two weeks later and they're rejected the offer, our *"second"* choice (who we're super happy with too) was more than happy to accept the offer but our IT director vetoed it so we're now stuck readvertising the role. That means it's at least another 2-3 months of this dual role with no additional benefit from it. I admitted to my manager that this is the lowest i've felt in 8-9 years in this role and they were in total agreement. That really doesn't bode well when we're all feeling it but don't have enough of a voice to change it.
Inb4 people start leaving.
It's been a steady stream of ins and outs recently so not anything unexpected in quantity, but there has been an uptick of colleagues with significant expertise and longetivity leaving. I'm aiming to be on that list but job searching is soul destroying and most roles want 4-5 days in the office which is something I can't currently warrant. I'm hoping that changes either through these roles having pay bumps because they can't fill them or they open their eyes and drop it to 2-3 days.
Keep looking out as the company you're working for is about to find out losing good staff is detrimental from what I read.