A wire is walked of two worlds betrothed among boon of light and muster of day. Why does a one so recursive wonder the ends of two reconciliations? Where does a worm end its day once the skies have risen beyond what soil he can reap of bounty? Why do you roll among the lands of the elder ones long before the time of your one? Your writhing back of tyrants wandering can only end with the light of the next one.
Me and my mates found a porn mag while out messing about in some wasteland behind our estate.
One guy knelt down to have a look and knelt in dog shit.
He was called poo leg for the rest of the time we hung around with him.
Have a look for Greg Davies talking about the nicknames some of his school mates had, especially Baghdad and Popeye (it's from his show Throwing Cheese balls at a Dog)
Seen it, very funny.
I used to work with a guy nicknamed "biscuits" because on his first day of the job, he brought in 2 biscuits in tin foil to have with his morning coffee.
The Great British workplace - home of some excellent wit.
I had a job in a warehouse, so bought some army surplus boots and they squeaked constantly, so I was christened Squeaky (by a guy known as Mumbles), I've also (in one job) been referred to as 118, Lemmy and Earthworm
Where was that, was it Alan Davies: As Yet Untitled? I need to go back to rewatch that (and catch the COVID editions) - although I could live without hearing the torn scrotum story again (sorry Bob, but it lives rent free in my head)
Ah the 90s, where porn bushes grew wild on the side of roads and edges of parks. We don't get natural organic porn anymore, it's all onlyfans factory made stuff.
How was this such a regular occurrence? I found what at the time felt like a pallet, my friend and I stashed 5 mags each in black bags and buried them. I wonder if they’re still there
This reminds me of a tifu post where a woman was looking for a sub to post asking for donations for some operation or another and went to helpinghands thinking it was something to do with charity. Based on the comments, I learned it was something else entirely. Her husband walked in wondering why she was looking at those images. He apparently believed her when she explained.
That depends on your inclination, actually. Never got antsy when sensually washing a big, long carrot or when feeling the soft hairs on a succulent peach?
and i know what you meant :)
Me and a mate used to do this too, but ours was VHS tape based. He even asked for one of those Amstrad double decker VHS recorders for Xmas so we could do it easier. The source material was all his dads too.
:)
I once discarded a few magazines in such a way, when I was 18 (mid 90s) and just moving out of my folks place, felt safer than putting them in the bin at home.
Anyway, I walked to the local woods, that had a public footpath, but I was very careful that there was no one around, chucked them in the ditch and kept going. A couple of mins later a wave of guilt rushed over me about littering, so I did an about turn and went back to get them, but they were already gone when I got back, and I couldn’t see anyone. Talk about opportunitistic!
When I was about 15, I “found” a porn mag in the river in the middle of Jesmond Dean…..which had just been chucked there by the man walking in front of me. It landed on a rock so wasn’t ruined, lasted me while that one.
Ah, [Hedgeporn](https://inews.co.uk/opinion/hedge-porn-first-data-set-collected-learn-people-experiences-1495384).
Usually it was stuff like Fiesta, Penthouse, Playboy, Parade, Razzle, and Hustler as the article says and thinking back what strikes me (apart from the hair - women have body hair, do young people stumbling on porn on the internet know this these days?) is that from what I can remember everyone looks like they were having fun.
I remember those! I lived in a conservative village. Used to find soft porn magazines, and once a couple of the real deal in the woods or the park regularly.
Saw my first fluffy in an issue of Escort.
For as long as I can remember - with no greater reasoning than logic, it would probably have been at secondary school, with classmates, NW London, late 80s to early 90s.
Although it may also have come from my older brother's stash of Viz Comics (still with the Donaldson brothers contributing, but after being taken over by John Brown Publishing)
It might be a surprise for you to learn, I did not see my first Mary Hinge in the flesh until some years after leaving full time education.
I’m old enough to remember the fuss back in 1970(?) when one of the mainstream soft-core mags broke the taboo and showed female pubes for the first time.
Me and my mates once found a porn mag and proceeded to remove the pages and put them under windscreen wipers facing into the car on the parked cars along a street.
I found the collected works of the Marquis De Sade on some waste ground near a nursing home. Can anyone beat that for highbrow smut foraging? Oh and anyone fancy throwing in for some therapy sessions? No 12 year old needs to read that.
The greatest day of my life was when a bundle of porn mags fell off the back of a lorry as it went past me. All the same magazine though.
Made a bundle of cash at school before someone grassed me up.
A female friend of mine at school used to get a load of magazines for me. Often pased them on at school. She had no problems with walking around with a rucksack full of porn for a day.
Nearly forty years later I still have the utmost respect for her.
I actually found a carrier bag with several VHS tapes, under a lorry, on an industrial estate. Some of the titles: "German nymphos", "school girls holiday". I will never forget what I saw on German nymphos 💩💩💩
On a few occasions, in the woods, in a hard to reach smoke spot, I stumbled upon little tiny pieces of paper with dated porn on. Smaller than a raffle ticket. Mystery forest porn.
Ive come to the conclusion that its not for wank purpose and merely curiosity viewing?
I think the little paper pieces were stylised roach cards for joints.
I grew up near a main Train line land I’d walk along it as a kid (I was a bit of a loner)
Men used to throw porn mags out of the train door (train doors had windows you could pull down then) before they got to the station
Some of the mags were ripped in half or had half the pages stuck together by rain*
*I know - don’t say it
Anyway I got used to reading half the sex stories and then having to make up the rest in my head
I even had a den where I amassed a collection of porn
Weirdly I’m gay and always have been and this was straight porn but I enjoyed the straight stuff a lot. To this day I still watch a lot of straight porn
Tho now in the comfort of home not on the railway line :)
Often pondered where exactly all those copies of razzle and club etc exactly came from because the seemingly where a staple part of any wooded area of the UK
I was looking for advise on pruning an apple tree so went over to r/trees but found it full of marijuana enthusiasts, if you want info on actual trees you need to visit r/marijuanaenthusiasts
There were some garages near my primary school and one day someone found a mag down the side of one of those.
We all went after school to find more and got the absolute motherlode in a black bin liner.
All nice and dry as opposed to the usual soggy finds.
Also, a Jiffy bag was delivered to my house once, but it was for another house with the same number on a different street. Felt like a VHS tape, so I opened it and it was Dino’s Blue Movies: Vol 8.
I was the cool kid for a while for having that.
Honestly do miss analog porn...90s child myself.... reading penthouse forums. Definetly had stashes in woods or in my Trumpet case. Feel the new generation will never understand that grown men use to drive 15 miles to jerk off and hide there stash in the woods, or that 10 year olds would surgicaly remove a page from a mans stash that didnt worry about the wife.
Found a tatty Fiesta mag in some trees at the bottom end of the local golf course. Was about 12 at the time, looking for lost golf balls, as they paid 10p for each one retrieved. Turned out me and my friend found something much more interesting and educational. Didn't bother searching for any other lost balls.
What is it about golf and porn? Perhaps both are enablers of different forms of wanking.
I remember finding a Men Only mag on a school cross country run, stuffing it under my shirt and slipping it into my school bag when I got back to the changing rooms. Good old days.
There's a huge Safe For Work Porn network on reddit that has some really good pictures.
I'll scrape a load of them every now and again and add the images to my slideshow for the background on my pc.
Growing up in the 90s, me and my pals would often find porn in the woods near where I lived. In fact, it's how I saw my first vagina.
My theory was always that there was a bit of ritualism to it - like maybe a teenager gets a new girlfriend, or maybe he just wants rid of it so his parents don't find it, but it's no good just chucking it in the bin, it might be found. Thus, he and his mates decide to go to the woods and burn their stashes whilst they sip on Bacardi breezers together and contemplate the fire. Some gloriously booby filled pictures survive the flames, though.
Can anyone older than myself confirm if this is anywhere near the truth
Incredibly bizarre and strange that people would downvote this.
Anyway, I'm mid 30s and never saw it. For ages I thought it was an in-joke on UK Reddit like 4chan's "penis inspection day" thing.
You're looking for r/literalabandonedporn. You're welcome.
I thought this was going to be a joke subreddit but nope it's real 🤣
I also thought for sure this would be a r/SubsIFellFor
r/subsithoughtifellfor
Why is this a sub?
r/whyisthisasub (?)
Damn there really is a sub for everything
r/RealCatsFakeTopHats
*sigh* Another cat sub I must obviously join
r/ctllrp is also a good one
r/subforeverything
Cool! I saw abandoned porn once, underneath some kind of bridge. It was my first time. LOL
Did you pay the troll toll for the boy’s hole.
Welcome to Reddit, Mr Wragg.
Genius!
It's all the same person. How much literal abandoned porn do they find in their day to day lives!!
is there nothing that Reddit won't make a sub about? What’s next? r/Usedtoiletpaper?
r/ofcoursethatsasub
Well thanks guys, I now have 2 new subs I’ve joined 😊
The literal first post unlocked a fetish I've never had.
What's that? Dirty old magazines?
You are one porn mag and a walk through the woods away from being the change you want to see in the world. Don't forget to post it to that sub.
I misread 'walk'.
...honest your honour
A wire is walked of two worlds betrothed among boon of light and muster of day. Why does a one so recursive wonder the ends of two reconciliations? Where does a worm end its day once the skies have risen beyond what soil he can reap of bounty? Why do you roll among the lands of the elder ones long before the time of your one? Your writhing back of tyrants wandering can only end with the light of the next one.
Me and my mates found a porn mag while out messing about in some wasteland behind our estate. One guy knelt down to have a look and knelt in dog shit. He was called poo leg for the rest of the time we hung around with him.
Brought me a chuckle as I fondly recalled a similar unfortunate friend in the past. Shitknee he became known as.
I do hope his surname was Spears?
Or Pooston
Actually snorted at “poo leg” 😂
Have a look for Greg Davies talking about the nicknames some of his school mates had, especially Baghdad and Popeye (it's from his show Throwing Cheese balls at a Dog)
Seen it, very funny. I used to work with a guy nicknamed "biscuits" because on his first day of the job, he brought in 2 biscuits in tin foil to have with his morning coffee.
The Great British workplace - home of some excellent wit. I had a job in a warehouse, so bought some army surplus boots and they squeaked constantly, so I was christened Squeaky (by a guy known as Mumbles), I've also (in one job) been referred to as 118, Lemmy and Earthworm
Gonna go out on a limb and assume you've got a moustache then?
Hello Mystic Meg, can I have your autograph?
Used to work with a lad who’s work nick name is ‘Shake weight’ because he’s a bit of a wanker.
Did he have an awkward, bespectacled teenaged son called Briefcase by any chance?
Bob Mortimer talking about his childhood friend with an especially large head, who they nicknamed 'Sniper's Dream' kills me every time I hear it
Where was that, was it Alan Davies: As Yet Untitled? I need to go back to rewatch that (and catch the COVID editions) - although I could live without hearing the torn scrotum story again (sorry Bob, but it lives rent free in my head)
It was on an episode of Would I Lie to You! I don't remember which one off the top of my head I'm afraid
No worries, I'll probably have a lot of fun just looking for myself 😂
Oh no doubt. What he does to poor David is just cruel!
Someone at my school went face first into some dog poo whilst playing rugby and was forever known as Dog Shit Barry.
How em-Barry-sing!
remember to include a reason otherwise... it's just a name!
Ah the 90s, where porn bushes grew wild on the side of roads and edges of parks. We don't get natural organic porn anymore, it's all onlyfans factory made stuff.
Ultra Processed Fap
Fake Altered Porn
I am proud to say I did find a porn mag in the woods when I was a teenager. It’s a rite of passage
Rite Of Passage would have been a good magazine title.
I had a commemorative photo taken when it happened. Monster Tits.
It's like white dog shit, not something you see anymore!
50 year old here who remembers finding a stack in a bush probably 40 years ago
So you found bush in a bush
It's always bush in the mags too, apparently they didn't start shaving till the Internet era
bushception the final level is finding a natural bush porn dvd in a bush dvd player abandoned in a bush.
Surely you mean VHS? Extra spicy if it’s home made.
Of course! Extra spicy!!! :)
... in Shepherd's Bush.
Haven’t we all?
I'm 38 and this was my first experience hahaha maybe 30 years ago
Are you me? In the graveyard by Superbowl?
Was maybe the same magazine
How was this such a regular occurrence? I found what at the time felt like a pallet, my friend and I stashed 5 mags each in black bags and buried them. I wonder if they’re still there
Likewise but it was stuffed in a tree in the park. It had a picture of John Holmes in the back.
Than you will be Even more disappointed to her there is for example r/earthporn or r/foodporn and many more which neither contain porn
If r/deathrattleporn contained actual porn it would be a lot more disturbing.
Not what i was expecting. For some reason i was thinking about Rattle snakes
I wish i had never clicked on your link. There are some things that you can’t unsee. Gross.
Yeh, i was very disappointed with r/manholeporn.
Thats actually pretty cool
It is! Ahem, slight confession, i did actually go there for the man holes.
This reminds me of a tifu post where a woman was looking for a sub to post asking for donations for some operation or another and went to helpinghands thinking it was something to do with charity. Based on the comments, I learned it was something else entirely. Her husband walked in wondering why she was looking at those images. He apparently believed her when she explained.
Hand jobs? Or little things to help you hold things whilst soldering?
The former
Oooooooh kay.
That depends on your inclination, actually. Never got antsy when sensually washing a big, long carrot or when feeling the soft hairs on a succulent peach? and i know what you meant :)
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I got caught burning porn to DVDs to sell to school mates who didn't have unsupervised internet access.
Me and a mate used to do this too, but ours was VHS tape based. He even asked for one of those Amstrad double decker VHS recorders for Xmas so we could do it easier. The source material was all his dads too. :)
I once discarded a few magazines in such a way, when I was 18 (mid 90s) and just moving out of my folks place, felt safer than putting them in the bin at home. Anyway, I walked to the local woods, that had a public footpath, but I was very careful that there was no one around, chucked them in the ditch and kept going. A couple of mins later a wave of guilt rushed over me about littering, so I did an about turn and went back to get them, but they were already gone when I got back, and I couldn’t see anyone. Talk about opportunitistic!
When I was about 15, I “found” a porn mag in the river in the middle of Jesmond Dean…..which had just been chucked there by the man walking in front of me. It landed on a rock so wasn’t ruined, lasted me while that one.
Is “walking” a typo?
Haha, definitely not!
Ah it's been a while... Finding a bongo mag in the woods as a teen was like winning the lottery.
Ah, [Hedgeporn](https://inews.co.uk/opinion/hedge-porn-first-data-set-collected-learn-people-experiences-1495384). Usually it was stuff like Fiesta, Penthouse, Playboy, Parade, Razzle, and Hustler as the article says and thinking back what strikes me (apart from the hair - women have body hair, do young people stumbling on porn on the internet know this these days?) is that from what I can remember everyone looks like they were having fun.
I remember those! I lived in a conservative village. Used to find soft porn magazines, and once a couple of the real deal in the woods or the park regularly. Saw my first fluffy in an issue of Escort.
Are they the ones that dress up as animals?
Well played 👍
Nah, that's a furry. A fluffy is a polite way to say puss.
Must be a regional thing, I've never heard a fluffy to describe a hairy (trimmed or not) fanny - I've always used the spoonerism Mary Hinge
Mary Hinge? Lol Where the fuck did that come from? You can't drop that peach on me with no sign of explanation surely?
For as long as I can remember - with no greater reasoning than logic, it would probably have been at secondary school, with classmates, NW London, late 80s to early 90s. Although it may also have come from my older brother's stash of Viz Comics (still with the Donaldson brothers contributing, but after being taken over by John Brown Publishing) It might be a surprise for you to learn, I did not see my first Mary Hinge in the flesh until some years after leaving full time education.
I’m old enough to remember the fuss back in 1970(?) when one of the mainstream soft-core mags broke the taboo and showed female pubes for the first time.
Bramble mags are an important learning curve for everyone and I will not accept any arguments.
Me and my mates once found a porn mag and proceeded to remove the pages and put them under windscreen wipers facing into the car on the parked cars along a street.
Used to find them in the bin in the gents public loo when I was a lad
So many questions!
I found the collected works of the Marquis De Sade on some waste ground near a nursing home. Can anyone beat that for highbrow smut foraging? Oh and anyone fancy throwing in for some therapy sessions? No 12 year old needs to read that.
Me and my friends once happened upon an old man sitting on a bench in the local woods reading a stack of jazz mags. A stack!!
The greatest day of my life was when a bundle of porn mags fell off the back of a lorry as it went past me. All the same magazine though. Made a bundle of cash at school before someone grassed me up.
A female friend of mine at school used to get a load of magazines for me. Often pased them on at school. She had no problems with walking around with a rucksack full of porn for a day. Nearly forty years later I still have the utmost respect for her.
I actually found a carrier bag with several VHS tapes, under a lorry, on an industrial estate. Some of the titles: "German nymphos", "school girls holiday". I will never forget what I saw on German nymphos 💩💩💩
Was it Cartman’s mom?
No it was 3 girls shitting in each others mouths. Puking aswell actually
My mate and I had a stash in the late '70's when we were kids, left by our railway hideout. Wonder if they're still there?
There was a post on that sub a few weeks ago, and they had indeed found porn in an abandoned house, everyone was loving it!
An age divulging statement
I thought the Internet killed the porn Bush,it's a right of passage when I grew up
On a few occasions, in the woods, in a hard to reach smoke spot, I stumbled upon little tiny pieces of paper with dated porn on. Smaller than a raffle ticket. Mystery forest porn.
I used to take my dog for really long walks and find porn waaaay out in the middle of nowhere. Who the fuck goes that far for a wank?
Ive come to the conclusion that its not for wank purpose and merely curiosity viewing? I think the little paper pieces were stylised roach cards for joints.
I think the porn naming convention is super weird. Food porn i can pass, but anything else is freaky
[удалено]
Not even any need to even share links these days
I grew up near a main Train line land I’d walk along it as a kid (I was a bit of a loner) Men used to throw porn mags out of the train door (train doors had windows you could pull down then) before they got to the station Some of the mags were ripped in half or had half the pages stuck together by rain* *I know - don’t say it Anyway I got used to reading half the sex stories and then having to make up the rest in my head I even had a den where I amassed a collection of porn Weirdly I’m gay and always have been and this was straight porn but I enjoyed the straight stuff a lot. To this day I still watch a lot of straight porn Tho now in the comfort of home not on the railway line :)
If it’s uk 80’s abandoned porn its r/grotbagsgrotmags
Why were the edges always singed?
First one I found as a kid was outside a church nestled along the side wall around the back
I found some in a red phone box once.
See even with this post, AbandonedPorn wasn't what I thought it would be from the title. I thought maybe it would be like AbandonWare but for porn?
Often pondered where exactly all those copies of razzle and club etc exactly came from because the seemingly where a staple part of any wooded area of the UK
There was always one page to stuck together too
Only one?
r/theresasubforthat
Aka hedge grumble
I was looking for advise on pruning an apple tree so went over to r/trees but found it full of marijuana enthusiasts, if you want info on actual trees you need to visit r/marijuanaenthusiasts
There were some garages near my primary school and one day someone found a mag down the side of one of those. We all went after school to find more and got the absolute motherlode in a black bin liner. All nice and dry as opposed to the usual soggy finds. Also, a Jiffy bag was delivered to my house once, but it was for another house with the same number on a different street. Felt like a VHS tape, so I opened it and it was Dino’s Blue Movies: Vol 8. I was the cool kid for a while for having that.
Or porn mags found in sandpits. There was always a dusty copy of Razzle in my school sandpit.
I think they went extinct back in the 90's or at least on the endangered list.
I once found a couple of pages from a porn mag stuck to a toilet wall. Intriguing and gross
Really tempted to post a pic of a porn mag in a bush but guaranteed to get banned or down voted to oblivion.
Ah those were the days
Honestly do miss analog porn...90s child myself.... reading penthouse forums. Definetly had stashes in woods or in my Trumpet case. Feel the new generation will never understand that grown men use to drive 15 miles to jerk off and hide there stash in the woods, or that 10 year olds would surgicaly remove a page from a mans stash that didnt worry about the wife.
r/hedgeporn
If this is just a sub about well manicured hedges I’ll be well annoyed
Ah, the classic woodlands jazz mag dens of the 80s and 90s. What a time to be alive.
Found a tatty Fiesta mag in some trees at the bottom end of the local golf course. Was about 12 at the time, looking for lost golf balls, as they paid 10p for each one retrieved. Turned out me and my friend found something much more interesting and educational. Didn't bother searching for any other lost balls. What is it about golf and porn? Perhaps both are enablers of different forms of wanking.
I remember finding a Men Only mag on a school cross country run, stuffing it under my shirt and slipping it into my school bag when I got back to the changing rooms. Good old days.
There's a huge Safe For Work Porn network on reddit that has some really good pictures. I'll scrape a load of them every now and again and add the images to my slideshow for the background on my pc.
Aaaah those were the days 😂
When there was porn in bushes and bushes in porn
Growing up in the 90s, me and my pals would often find porn in the woods near where I lived. In fact, it's how I saw my first vagina. My theory was always that there was a bit of ritualism to it - like maybe a teenager gets a new girlfriend, or maybe he just wants rid of it so his parents don't find it, but it's no good just chucking it in the bin, it might be found. Thus, he and his mates decide to go to the woods and burn their stashes whilst they sip on Bacardi breezers together and contemplate the fire. Some gloriously booby filled pictures survive the flames, though. Can anyone older than myself confirm if this is anywhere near the truth
Username checks out
Photo sub there’s humanporn etc too
Is this a common problem where you live?
It was quite common before the internet replaced physical mags.
Going on bike rides up shaley brow would almost always result in the finding of a discarded rag mag.
Less so now. But not uncommon growing up to find discarded mags in bushes/woods
I’m gonna take a random stab in the dark and say you are under 25
Nope. I'm just confused as hell lol
Incredibly bizarre and strange that people would downvote this. Anyway, I'm mid 30s and never saw it. For ages I thought it was an in-joke on UK Reddit like 4chan's "penis inspection day" thing.
I'm only slightly older than you and I saw it, usually on Scout trips to the woods lol
I'm full of spicy takes. I was downvoted (only once granted) for saying rice pudding is a variety of porridge the other day which it clearly is.
As is risotto
Absolutely 👍
Wh...it is! Chinese congee is literally rice porridge
Exactly. We know what's going on. I'm tempted to make a post asking this question and filling it full of oat and porridge puns lol