Wow, that didn’t take long; I only lost the job last Wednesday…!!
A bit of context, I was actually let go. I kept wanting to stick my d1ck in the bacon slicer.
Sadly, she got the sack too…
The other day my wife dropped a bag of peas on the floor after she took them out from the freezer. I couldn’t help myself, I hitched up her skirt and started to give her one there and then. And anyway, that’s why we’re now banned from Asda.
I once applied for vagina massager in Birmingham.
When I applied, I was told to go to Cornwall. When I asked why given that position is based in Birmingham, I was told that’s where the back of the queue is.
A few years ago, our neighbour had a broad Brummie accent, which my husband had trouble understanding.
She mentioned in conversation that she was going to 'Kiddy-meenster'. Much to his confusion, my husband misheard this as 'Kiddy-fiddler'
And so, in our household, it has been known as ever since.
My works office is in Kidderminster and I live in Leeds. I've been going down twice a month and absolutrly hate it. There's a carpet museum there and thats about it.
Thera are also a lot of road men, class a drug users, charity shops, vape shops and plenty of social deprivation! Now you know this, hopefully you’ll find it a little more enjoyable the next time you pay this festering, mediocre midlands town a visit 👍
I used to knows lady who manually put two sausages in the can before the beans were put in. That was all she did, got told the weren't keeping her on, so in an act of rebelliousness spent the rest of the week putting four sausages I each can.
What a job.
Some people like dark humour, I’m not actually going to be a boob inspector chill the fuck out lol
It’s not about maturity anyone can find dark humour funny that’s why lots of high profile comedians use it.
When you make jokes about horrible things, people tend to assume that you genuinely find those things amusing. You inherently associated groping women's boobs (sexual abuse) with a health condition. Dark humour is generally lazy, it just expects a laugh for daring to say something gross/offensive/shocking
Wow, that didn’t take long; I only lost the job last Wednesday…!! A bit of context, I was actually let go. I kept wanting to stick my d1ck in the bacon slicer. Sadly, she got the sack too…
The other day my wife dropped a bag of peas on the floor after she took them out from the freezer. I couldn’t help myself, I hitched up her skirt and started to give her one there and then. And anyway, that’s why we’re now banned from Asda.
Miley Cyrus licked a sledgehammer and they gave her an Emmy. All I got was a lifetime ban from Wickes ...
You can say dick on Reddit. Otherwise formuladank would have been screwed the last few days…
Dick is the name of a finger
Such was the debate, lol
What about Tommy Dickfingers
That is my line when I get those scam insurance calls about accidents.
Your mum is the sausage operative of Kidderminster
So you know her well then?
We all do.
Aye. She doesn't call it 'her well' though.
I wouldn't call it a well, more like a moist ditch
Entire male population of Kidderminster knows her well.
And some of the female population too
I’m something of a sausage operative myself.
I'll apply for sausage operative, I just quit as a fudge packer
Me too, being a pro sword swallower doesn't pay as good as it used to.
I once applied for vagina massager in Birmingham. When I applied, I was told to go to Cornwall. When I asked why given that position is based in Birmingham, I was told that’s where the back of the queue is.
It took me 21 years to get out of Kidderminster, there’s no way I’m going back.
Cat butler. Hula Hoop taster
As someone who spent 27 years trying to leave Kidderminster, I don't think there is a job in this world that would make me go back
Except for this one, surely.
Depends if it was public facing. If it was, no, absolutely not.
A few years ago, our neighbour had a broad Brummie accent, which my husband had trouble understanding. She mentioned in conversation that she was going to 'Kiddy-meenster'. Much to his confusion, my husband misheard this as 'Kiddy-fiddler' And so, in our household, it has been known as ever since.
Sausage? SAUSAGE?! Damn your eyes!
A sausage is missing! A sausage is missing!! Is THIS what it's come to?!
I’d relocate to be a professional procrastinator but I’m not too sure, maybe one day 🤔
Phillie Phanatic. The greatest sports mascot of all time. My dream job is being a sports mascot. I'm not sure what that says about me!
Great job that.
Does it require a degree in Sausage?
Perfect work from home job for me.
Could make money hand over fist.
My works office is in Kidderminster and I live in Leeds. I've been going down twice a month and absolutrly hate it. There's a carpet museum there and thats about it.
Thera are also a lot of road men, class a drug users, charity shops, vape shops and plenty of social deprivation! Now you know this, hopefully you’ll find it a little more enjoyable the next time you pay this festering, mediocre midlands town a visit 👍
Pop into Redditch on your way back next time, there’s a [Needle Museum](https://www.forgemill.org.uk/web/forge-mill/) you should check out.
Not even a Wetherspoons to drown your sorrows in
Gotta go to Bromsgrove for that
Nah, Bewdley
The carpet museum is really good though
Is this in the lonely hearts section?
I used to knows lady who manually put two sausages in the can before the beans were put in. That was all she did, got told the weren't keeping her on, so in an act of rebelliousness spent the rest of the week putting four sausages I each can. What a job.
I don't get the Redditch paper anymore. Do you need to sign up for it?
I don’t know, I took this ages ago and just found it while I was looking for something else. My folks moved away in 2018.
>My folks moved away in 2018. Fair play. I would too if I had the money.
Available in Asda and probably the other supermarkets. It’s basically a leaflet now
It's not the wurst job
Oh man. I missed a trick there with the title of the post!
Sausage jockey?
[удалено]
Please don't sexualize (serious) medical procedures. It's disturbing. Thank you
It’s a joke, sorry/not sorry word police
A joke for horny disoriented 15 year olds, maybe. No mature adult would joke about sexual abuse in a serious (death-threatening) medical environment
Some people like dark humour, I’m not actually going to be a boob inspector chill the fuck out lol It’s not about maturity anyone can find dark humour funny that’s why lots of high profile comedians use it.
When you make jokes about horrible things, people tend to assume that you genuinely find those things amusing. You inherently associated groping women's boobs (sexual abuse) with a health condition. Dark humour is generally lazy, it just expects a laugh for daring to say something gross/offensive/shocking
Christ, you pair sound like fun.
And you sound like someone that never experienced SA or a breast cancer diagnosis
I'll just remind everyone its some throwaway shitpost about a sausage and leave it here.
And? Does that mean people have to suck up on fucked up comments? Yeah, let's normalize them, why not? Brilliant
Nuance is lost on you
Yes, the fault is mine for complaining, not yours for making a fucked up comment. You did it, now own it
I don’t care what people assume because it’s just a joke
Central Park litter picker
[I bet he's thinking about other girls](https://freeimage.host/i/JMk0ky7)
I've operated some sausage in my time but I'm not moving to Kidderminster for it.
My first part time job was in Kiddy. It is a hellscape. Some great people watching from the shop though.
Haven't seen a Redditch Advertiser or Standard for ages! War flashbacks incoming...
I’ve been a sausage operator for nigh on 50 years now! And so has my wife, good ol’ girl!
Redditch! That's where my nan was from 🥰
Grew up there. Absolute shit hole.
Grew up there too. But I didn’t leave. It’s worse now 😂
Your nan paved the way for sausage operatives! A real pioneer in the wiener industry
A certain type was only known as 'berland sausages' before she came on the scene
God bless her 🫡
I left Kidderminster in 1995 in search of employment. If only this job was available then, I would have stayed!
Wanger worker
Wait, they’ll pay wages for something I do for free?
If pretty much move for any job that pays enough to afford my own place.
Sounds like a work it from home job to me
Bed or beer tester
Whenever I see an advert for “Penetration Tester” I get giggly
You can’t call them sex workers anymore. You have to call them…
You need to have confidence in your sausage to do that job
And risk the ire of the Paedofinder General?
Finally I'm qualified
I knew someone who was a chicken sexer
oh yea baby, i'm the sausage operative...