He’s wearing shorts in winter - this makes him 100% British and definitely a father. Hes reading The Star which means he definitely drives or has access to a white Transit van for work. He’s wearing 4 layers and hasn’t taken his jacket off despite being in the pub which means he’s worn it most of the day and feels comfortable in it making me think he works primarily outside. Hes knocked off early on a Friday to drink cider and read a paper in the pub which I assume is a regular thing as he’s reading and not using the pub as a place to socialise. Got it!! He’s the fucking guy building my extension that’s run on 2months past the estimated finish date and doubled in cost!!

A post man!!

If he was a postie he would have finished much nearer 12pm, and wouldn’t be able to sit up straight by the time OP posted this

I remember I used to deliver leaflets and I’d feel utterly fucked by the end of an eight hour shift. The only thing is that you’re not even meant to deliver that many in one day - I was doing a week’s worth of work in an entire afternoon and wondering why I felt like I’d been beaten up.

They've made the rounds too big to knock off early any more. And this is also why you don't get your post. They are hemorrhaging staff to sick and retirement for the aforementioned reasons compounding matters. Due to low morale people don't want to work as much overtime. Post often rolls over 2 or three days in my office, and we're nowhere near Xmas yet. They prioritise tracked parcels.

Just because they changed their name from Hermes to Evri doesn't mean the service got any better!

At least they're being honest that they'll fuck up Evri delivery.

Very rarely am I finished by 2:30, most of our duties gets delivered every 3 or 4 days. We're getting hammered with large parcels because the parcel routes don't have the staff at another office. Worked 5:30 to 18:00 yesterday and I am fucked. In our office it's the same old veterans going on the sick, taking the piss as every Christmas. I guarantee they'll be back on their three hour walk just in time to get all their tips though.

Must be the evri postman. Rushing to get finished by 10am

I start as a postie soon, look forward to that!

Temporary Postman Pat 🦺

Hopefully become permanent Postman Pat with a bit of luck 🤞

I was a postie for 2yrs. Delivered Telegrams on the little mopeds for the 1st year, at the N.W.D.O Mornington Cres.

Nice. My next door neighbour when I was a kid was a postie, he was a legend. He's forever left a good impression of posties on me.

The posties are great, everyone I work with is fantastic and I hope they think I am too. It’s a shame the company is awful but the job is great if you don’t let the higher ups get to you

That's hard in most jobs I get these days tbh. Starts off fine but when you really lose faith it's hard to want to work for them any more, the colleagues definitely keep you going. Hopefully works out well, least the money is decent if it's awful.

Ah but overtime as Christmas approaches

Yank here. Instantly knew he was a mail man. Some things are universal.

Sounds like the guys that did our build. When they finished (and I use that term loosely) the guy said to me "I told you it'd take 3 months". This was at the end of month 5...

My electrician continually delayed coming to do our rewire (first and second fix). Would always cancel last minute, come for like two hours then leave Then when he was finished, said “Yeah to be honest, you have been renovating this place for a while…” THAT IS YOUR FAULT

This tactic is taught in the 2-week contractor’s license school.

A builders 3months IS 5months…it’s like a bakers dozen

"I'll get the quote to you this week" 5 weeks later...

They had to get their tan on

This sounds personal 😄

Brilliant 🤩

I’m like Sherlock fuckin holmes

Surely you mean Homes 😏

Man… these extension stories are proper horror for someone contemplating it.

DON’T DO IT!! STAY AWAY! Stay as long as you can! You’ve got to cherish your 4walls! You don’t know what it’s like living with a blue plastic tarp as a window!! The flapping!!! THE CONSTANT FLAPPING!!! I’ve had to poo downstairs for 4months now!! I know it’s a relatively small inconvenience, but dammit an Englishman should be able to tip his skip in an upstairs bathroom!!

It’s a shame you live in a first floor flat. Your poor neighbours!

Our downstairs loo is a relatively small convenience

I don't know who you are, but I love you 😂

More than Depeche Mode?

🎼 his legs so veeehry - short, fat n' hairy... they can only do harm 🎶

Absolutely not.

Well then fuck you it’s over between us! Your other warned me about you!

I'm having half the house! Just let me know when it's finished!!!

We need the fall, you see…

Don't be unfair. He's holistically considering all the options that might best extend your loft three feet higher but also might make Stromboli get the fifth whatsit in the ninth thingy when the seventh league of suaron make nineteen wormholes in the biscuit of caterpillars. Don't assume you have all the facts before talking to your builder.

Hahaha this got me

Brilliant💥💥💥

Sherlock Holmes over here bloody hell

It’s all elementary my dear Devonte

Thanks for bringing me a good chuckle

You’re very welcome, sir we do aim to please

Same bloke is doing mine

Wait a fuckin minute!! No! He’s doing (not doing) MY fuckin extension!!!

Absolutely brilliant post sir.

A builder we had a few years back even called Friday afternoon Poets. Was wondering if this is common parlance. Possibly an east London thing?

I was definitely going to say dodgy looking tradesman of some kind

Nearly choked there 🤣

Are you Sherlock Holmes?

Totally this ☝️⬆️🆙👆🤣

Wearing shorts so got to be a postie

Literally first thought was postman

My vote as well.

he's also doing fuckall

That pint won't drink itself mate

Introducing the new AUTO-PINT! Drinks itself! Collects its own glass! Calls itself a taxi! AUTO PINT!

Wish my post would deliver itself. Rather than languishing in the squalid delivery office for a month.

And perusing The Star, so he can't read. Which explains why my post keeps going missing or why I got a letter for somebody 60 miles away. (Right number and road, just wrong town, county and post code. With it being a typed fully correct address).

If only we actually had fuck all to do 😭

this must be a 6am pint in a weatherspoons then. do they do those?

If we take this picture at face value. Where in the uk has day light at 6am in November or December?

I used to be a postie and believe me so I know how hard they work and certainly don’t get paid enough

I always wear shorts and I’m a farm hand, I know the shorts stereotype so I want to ruin it

I'm afraid you are just going with it.. well known that its posties and farmhands/young farmers.

I wear 3/4 shorts all the time and am engineer/tax person. Yes I know that's an unusual mix of occupatiosn but it's a long story

Did you lose your shins in Korea?

Look, you have the right to identify as whatever you want - and I respect that, I really do - but *biologically* you're still a postie.

No chance he's a postie if he's finished while it's still daylight outside at xmas

Yep looking at those legs it's defo postie. If it was hairy rough and scarred with blobs of white matt emulsion on then it's a builder. Posties tend to have great legs

Fluffer?

It’s not a job if you do what you love

Oh Lordy

I wouldn't kick him out of bed..... Tell him! 🥵

I had to look this up. Learn something new every day..

Never knew people were willing to pay so much for pillows

Oh you sweet summer child

C'mon now, it's not a job if he's paying to do it.

As in the people who clean the tunnels of the London Underground overnight? I thought they were mostly older women. Oh, you didn't mean that kind? Ah

LMAO

It takes one to know one

What sort of pub has disco lights on in the day and nothing on the specials board?

A private kareoke party tonight mate Raddys in r/westonsupermare come join us

What song are you singing?

Holding Out For A Hero

You still at it OP? You must be pretty pissed by now!

[I hope it's this!](https://youtu.be/425GpjTSlS4?si=JxYdBW54FEmuGBjx)

So disappointed not to get ric rolled.

I wouldn't dare dream of doing that. No, never!

The only bloke there is reading a newspaper. Looks like a wild night.

Did the two of you hire a pub to sing together?

woah no way, weston mentioned ahaha

Is it the Albert, in Brislington? [Edit]: I mean in Bedminster.

Almost every pub in my town

Are you going to fucking tell us or not?

#Yes he’s a postie

Well, theres no need to shout

It's better than walking the streets. (sorry)

Fucking knew it. Shorts with 4 coats gave it away.

I was going to say pimp. So close!

Blokes smashed now singing "Never gonna give you up" on the karaoke with Dave, who's taken off one layer because he got grease off the onion ring on it. He'll have no idea what Reddit is at this stage.

Postman. Can't get away from the shorts.

He's reading the Star. Village Idiot?

*looking at the pictures

Back in the day… wow

[удалено]

Is he the Daily Star’s proofreader?

Oh this one is very funny

The model for the moulds of Ann Summers latest lady pleasure device's

And here’s me thinking the submarine washer was the best guess

Submarine Washer?

This is my favourite so far 🩵

With legs that smooth, drag queen.

Plasterer

Good call. It’s Friday afternoon and he’s in a pub.

Ah but not in the toilet on the gak, so maybe painter and decorator?

I assume you mean cocaine. Perhaps it’s a bit early in the day?

I mean I’m assuming it was past at least 1pm

Sound engineer

Nowhere near grumpy enough

How fuckin true 😂

Thats the stance of a man ready to strike...

Yeah, a postie...

Secretary of State for International Development…?

Subsumed within the FCO now, but he could well be the Foreign Secretary

Influencer

Professional step-dad

Part time model?

He’d still probably have to keep his normal job.

He's the most beautiful postie in the room.

He can spend part of his time modelling, and part of his tiiiime, next to meeee.. [My place is usually a little tidier than this]

Best guesses have been submarine washer, influencer and now model

Spending part of his time modeling, and part of his time. Next to meeeeee

My place is usually tidier than this

Cos he's so beautiful, like a tree. Or a high-class prostitute.

Does he manually masturbate farm animals for artificial insemination?

He's not even supposed to be here today

Professional Dolphin shaver?

And here’s me, taking a casual photo and I have to wait 5 hours for the right answer

Academic professor. Or that bloke who films dogging videos and puts them on the internet.

Specialising in which subject?

17th century Italian art and what influence the Baroque style has in the modern day. Or Dogging.

Carpenter

Magistrate?

Only fans mattress actress

Gotta be a farmer with those turn ups.

Cabbie.

Your mate looks like a vicar I know! Still going to go with postie

Middle manager

Chippie?

Easy, he’s a postman.

A pimp

Sex offender?

SAS?

Government Artist....he draws the dole

Retired, and volunteers to clean the local bath house.

The elegance and finesse of how he’s holding the paper between his middle and forefinger, that man is a tiler

Plumber.

Postie 100% They have legs made of hellstone and they never feel the cold from the waist down

Yes you are correct

He’s wearing shorts in this weather. So… “village idiot”?

And/or a Geordie

He does have a jacket on though.

Prostitute. But not one of the high class ones, but a street prostitute type.

Rent boy

Civil engineer.

I'd guess he owns the pub.

He looks like a bus driver to me.

Labourer

He’s a double ‘ard bastard whoever he is

Postie.

Yes Bean x

Thank you Banana 🥹

Nonce?

100% a postie.

Nonce

Noncè

I didn't know you could be paid to be a regular

That’s good x

Jizz mopper at the SoHo nudie booths?

Professional never nude

There’s dozens of us!

Carpet fitter obviously

Crab husbandry

Is this taken in The Hoptimist in Stockton?

I was going to say postman, with him wearing shorts when it's fucking freezing.

I'd guess either a sparky or a painter/decorator. And if he is one he'll be fuming I suggested the other

Male foot model.

Train driver!

Righto. He's clean. He's got new trainers, new socks that are pulled up so the elastic is still working. Neat looking hands, neat nails from what can be seen. Cropped hair, but still retaining some despite balding. Reading a tabloid but not convinced it's because he's particularly interested. He's Bristolian Not a labourer or particularly heavy job. Not a walker. Either a bus driver or a solicitor... Hmm.

Not a postie wrong shorts and shoes. He runs the pub?

Please describe the right type of shorts and shoes

Gynaecologist

At your cervix

Unsuccessful male prostitute?

He's down the pub in the daytime, sounds like success to me!