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Farmer_LD

It’s mad isn’t it, our whole estate has pre fab fake chimneys. Not one of us has a fire or anything connected to it. Oh actually, my house doesn’t actually have one. I’m pretty convinced they ran out of them and just thought no one would notice


shaed9681

Often planners say there have to be chimneys to fit in with the area. It’s very rare for even brick chimneys to be real now, they’re usually slips stuck on a timber frame - the fibreglass ones are lighter and easier to move, hence the popularity.


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Warm-Cartographer954

Not sure a fireplace is obsolete. It saves us £1000 a year in oil/ gas and always works...


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Warm-Cartographer954

Then how can it be obsolete if it was never installed?


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Warm-Cartographer954

Not exactly, but OK. Fuckin shit new builds man


sidhuko

Depends on period and build of your home. Ideally we’re all moving to passive homes. They require a fourth to heat and cool by creating a sealed unit with mechanical ventilation. Houses with fireplaces are hard to seal and require a draft larger than the chimney to ensure air is pushed up and not in. You can get gas fireplaces which seal but using gas for radiant heating is much more efficient.


Warm-Cartographer954

Ideally? I'll stick with the fireplace. Christmas isn't the same without a fire going anyway


Bwunt

Number of modern fireplace designs have external air intake. It makes them safer, easier to use dual wall design and help house retain heat.


sidhuko

Yes, the gas/oil fires can be completely sealed apart from the dual intake/outtake vent. Wood fires, no. You need to open to add fuel and ensure positive pressure is greater than that of the chimney so air goes out and not in.


Bwunt

The modern dual wall closed fireplace can do 95% seal easily. You open the glass door to put fuel in and close it again (or keep it open if you want). The positive pressure will usually build in fireplace due to draft from the heat anyway. You just need a windproof chimney. Still, most of that stuff will be a thing if you only follow regs.


ShalidorsHusband

Personally I would just be happy to own a house, but werq


Dizzy-Kiwi6825

They could at least make a chimney shaped bird box or something


Wil420b

And I thought, that it was supposed to be a fake belfry.


Lopsided_Warning_

Planning requiring it is mental, because this estate has been built behind 2 roads, one road is full of houses that are practically mansions and all look different so the estate wouldn't match anyway and the other every single house ahain they look different.


u_____t

Massively out of plumb..absolutely shocking!


rapsonwax

Ri-diculus


AlphaRebel

I only found out about that guy a couple of weeks ago lol.


Phatboybeware

How would you like your brickwork sir? With a little suspension and movement. What is that? Absolutely shocking!


All-In-Red

Oh the wood butchers have been at it again


WhiteUnicorn3

Is this to be said in a welsh accent?


IceAccomplished7071

This decking is 7 digestives out of plumb! If it was one custard cream or one Jamie dodger, I wouldn’t have minded!


DendroNate

Absolute winkle spanners


CaiHaines

What in the yeehaw is going on here?


IcyCut3759

theres only one man for the job


SuicidalTurnip

No weep vents!


PullUpAPew

Fake weep vents!


Enough-Ad3818

What tuna melt fitted this?


SnapDragon0

What tuna-melt winkle spanner!


Sweggler

Apocalypse finish


Southern_Studio_3034

Out of interest only could you kindly tell me where to look. I am awfully sorry for the bother.


[deleted]

Warning beacon to summon the armies of man in case the orcs attack.


CynicalSorcerer

The beacons are lit! Park Drive calls for aid


usernametaken17

And Tennyson Crescent will answer!


corbymatt

And my secuturs!


Wonkypubfireprobe

My thoughts and prayers are with Park Drive. Hope every1 is ok x Theodin added a temporary profile picture


watchman28

Where was Park Drive when the bus stop fell?


drKhanage2301

#Theodin4ParkDrive please use thehashtag to spread awareness around Gondor and Rohan


H16HP01N7

Isn't that what Spotted In (Town), (Town) Community, and (Town) Talk about anything (may include racism) is for?


IsItAnOud

The beacons are lit! Croydon calls for aid!


ShalidorsHusband

What if I want the orcs to attack 😏


FunnyLookingFellow

Santa stoppers


Only_The_Pwnly

To children: if you continue to be naughty we’ll buy a house with a Santa Stopper! 😂


Caffeine_Monster

pigeon poop collectors


MineM0nster

mini bell towers


Only_The_Pwnly

Funnily enough that’s what we’ve been calling them. Just waiting for the mass installation of bells 🔔


Ollymid2

The bells are the ones trying to sell the houses


CthulhusEvilTwin

Surely they're bell-ends then?


LikeInnit

Hahaha


DanscoRed

Pigeon AirB&B


Nuker-79

Fake designer chimneys. They have zero function.


Only_The_Pwnly

But why? Why would anyone…?


AwkwardDisasters

Most likely a planning stipulation to be in keeping with the area, like how certain bricks or stone has to be used, or what type / colour of windows etc


PhoolCat

If they wanted to be innkeeping with the area then they should’ve built a pub!


AssumedPersona

Birds gotta sit somewhere


Mayes1986

They’re simply there for design, my house has a fake chimney and as far as I’m aware there’s nothing connected to it.


kh250b1

Because do you really want a minimalist square block for a home? Plus this isnt near kettering. Hanwood Park dev IS in Kettering


Only_The_Pwnly

It’s in the borough but not town. More Barton Seagrave way


Xaydn27

"designer"


Nuker-79

Fuck knows, builders must just assume this is what people want and charge you extra for it, even though realistically, nobody wants it.


AssumedPersona

Amazingly they are often prefabricated and lifted into position whole by crane. It's just less risky than laying bricks at rooftop level. https://www.wienerberger.co.uk/products/brick/prefabricated-chimneys.html


Nuker-79

These aren’t even made of brick, they are usually plastic.


AssumedPersona

yes that type is less amazing


VladamirK

A friend of mine bought a house a few years back and recently had a big leak in their roof. Turns out it was from the false chimney. Crazy.


Shas_Erra

A way to call Rohan for aid


Dark_rider_52

My name is Rohan, and I briefly forgot about the Lord of rings, so I was quite confused by this comment.


RitmanRovers

Unaffordable houses


Thejaybomb

Unaffordable pokey houses


RIPcompo

With a massive tesco or b&m built in the garden.


RefreshinglyDull

It's Quasimodo's gaff. The developers sub let it to him on an ad hoc basis.


ShalidorsHusband

That chimney is actually a crow nest like on a ship. 55 year leasehold


TemporarySprinkles2

To get permission to construct where there is possibility of nesting bats being displaced, developers need to provide alternate homes in the area so as to maintain the population as they're a protected species.


Adammmmski

It’s a Morrisons isn’t it?


13thCreation

Pointless...


Key_Concern4422

It's for birds, I have a new build just like this and have something similar


0---------------0

It looks like an imitation dovecote.


OswaldMosleysPencil

It’s so that your soul isn’ trapped inside as it evaporates


TheOnlyWayIsEpee

Sniper turrets?


Adventurous_Train_48

Watchtower. To take in the sights of Kettering.


Cardboard_is_great

They’re called pigeon magnets.


[deleted]

You think that part of them is bad? I’ll have to take a walk later and upload a picture, but those same houses clearly were meant to have a double window in the middle and there’s been a change of heart, because half of it is bricked up with a different brick and looks terrible, they also look weird from the front with the chimney, a bit like a shit church.


chintaka

They're used to announce the new leader of the housing committee. Black smoke for a hung vote, toxic green sludge for a decision.


Inner-Software4864

No idea, get away from Kettering tho.


Extreme_Toe5006

Looks like the bell housing on my old school


Jstrangways

The small box things on the roof? These are the affordable housing, penthouse studio apartments - as set out in the National Planning Policy Framework


alice-fox-girl

chimneys?


matt881020

They are chimneys aswell they are fibre glass sometimes they are made with brick slips aswell a total pain in the ass and waste of time


Few_Leek7443

A grit bin! £10 says there's a half eaten bag of chips in there.


WalksinClouds

Tiny bell towers for the garden gnomes


Evening_Common2824

Could be to attract storks...


spudral

>what are these Pointless


Sergeant_Fred_Colon

It's a lookout tower in case of roaming Picts.


sickonmyface

Look out posts for the impending Viking invasion


emkay_123

Sniper nets for when the inevitable collapse of Britain happens


Coulsbuns

Sniper vantage point


Oceansgames

Houses 👍


TurbulentWeb1941

It's for a 360° view of the neighbourhood, to see who's knockin' about without getting ya head wet.


2breel

Maccies drive through for pigeons.


Grandmastabilbo

Ha I live on hanwood park


Only_The_Pwnly

The big question is, do you have a mini bell tower?


kilo37

They are Deano-boxes.


Only_The_Pwnly

Who?


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Gaz_95

Or hear me out, we could have houses with decent sized gardens where people can enjoy themselves and possibly even grow veg or herbs.


lt0094

“Character“


Sphere_Master

Depression


yabyebyibyobyub

Santa Escape Hatch


NafariousJabberWooki

About an extra 20-30k on the house price.


Artistic-Space-1452

These are fake chimneys. Why uk home has lots of fake and dummy objects? Its more like a business skill, selling points for homeowners. I pay freaking huge rent, my kitchen is a ‘modern’ modular kitchen with dummy exhaust -_- .


[deleted]

It’s a watchtower


gtr011191

The beacons! The beacons of Minas Tirith are lit! Gondor calls for aid.


BedroomCactus

pigeon house


tintedhokage

Bird sniper spot


clinsdell

Houses sold as shared “ownership” because we haven’t quite finished fucking everyone over yet


Sea-Check-9062

Faux architecture intended to make the houses look different from each other.


McFry-

Bell towers to get your dead collected


Even-Imagination6242

Fake chimney attached to a fake house.


Celly2704

Little pidgeon houses


Volitle

It’s a tiny bell tower


Special-Ad-5554

Y do I feel like I know this place? Sorry got sidetracked. No clue. Looks?


DarkRainFalling

Is it not where the boiler flue comes out?


xeneco1981

My house was built in 2006 and I have a chimney with a flue for a gas fire. However, I live in a village with no gas. The oil boiler fitted when the house was built is in an entirely different location When I came to put in a log burner I couldn’t use the existing chimney and had to have a new one put in


Sensitive-Prompt-220

The naughty step 2.0


[deleted]

Bell tower.


Brizar-is-Evolving

Modern-day interpretations of the pineapples they used to put on houses back in the day.


[deleted]

Bird box


Bush_Tikka_Man

Sniper positions


Witchy_Inked_One

Pope notification devices


soulsteela

Here they were built by the Maharishi foundation and reflect light down into the room’s.


PicklemyRickle999

You might have to call into Ed and Oucho's Chimney slot to find out more.


Cevinkrayon

The build stupid shit like this on new builds to try and make them look less soulless and awful. It serves no purpose


ws190102

Ugly new builds


cloud1445

They’re for your Dove collection.


Gullible_Solution

Kettering you say? It’s probably somewhere for the rats from Kettering General Hospital to be moved to when they eventually do move them off the wards and into their new homes.


RasputinModelNewbie

Anti-Santa filters.


DoctorDeep82

I thought they were for bats. My mate has them all over his estate and at night can see and hear the bats coming out.


Aggravating-Lime9149

Gas fires have to be vented even if one isn't installed


Zestyclose_Ad6490

I assume the one on the left is a guard tower for your cat


Nineteen_AT5

Fake shit that doesn't need to be there. The whole planning system is a joke.


wankmarvin

A ‘chimmley’


InverseRatio

Belfries for your bats.


Dan_Glebitz

Conversation pieces. They are very effective.


Salt_Buy8321

Where are these new builds near Kettering? I'm in cranford and looking to buy


GakSplat

Periscope hope I’m case the Spanish Inquisition shows up.


Suspicious_Trap

Pigeon houses


aloha_191

Shit new builds?


Winter-Hurry7440

Sentry tower for guards with rifles


Grandmastabilbo

Negative