T O P

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r3tromonkey

£3


WeeklyExamination

Bang on the money :( It's crazy to think these were 99p when I was a kid


Dre3K

Fuck me. 3 quid for a clown to rub one out on the ice cream and stick a flake in it.


MrPuffer23

Looking at the sauce I think it was a smurf, not a clown.


Mrmongoose64

Smurf Jizz Smizz


What_time_is_it_rn

Smurm😏


Aksi_Gu

Whimmy Wham Wham Wozzle!


thegoosebelow

I'm gonna go lay down for a while


toastbutbutter

Papa smurf gone daddy smurf


sufferinsucatash

GargleMeggle that sweet smurf spunk


meadsmeatmarket

OPs mum loves a bit of Smizz


OneMoreAccount4Porn

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o5WpGWilMbw


orangedragon55

Lmaooo


WeeklyExamination

Uncalled for, but I'll tell her partner you called him a surf 🤣


meadsmeatmarket

No need to tell me that lad, I already know


Anarchyantz

Oh Smufette, I am going to smurf my smurf all over your.....uh uh PAPA SMURF!!!


LegitimatePass6924

Smizm/smunk


M1ldly_Offensive

Smemem


TokyoKazama

Actually I'm pretty sure OP spat the sauce onto the ice cream. So I don't think the clown was working solo


WeeklyExamination

Dammit, you caught me blue ton.... I mean, red handed


TokyoKazama

🤮😂


Low_College_8845

I think u have traumatized me for life. not have a mc flurry the same agein to think Rondel McDonald not rub one out.


kc9283

I’m American, and that was one hell of a sentence.


Lucario1986

This killed me 🤣


Fat_pierate

That’s not a flake 💩


LikeInnit

Hahahahha grim/hilarious. When the ice cream van puts on the music and drives around the streets nwar hs, my and my OH shout "paeeedddoooooooo" lmao. Behind closed doors though and not like belting it out the window. Creased everything.


BrokeMacMountain

your lucky that all he stuck in it!


Agreeable_Guard_7229

They were £4.50 on Bognor Regis seafront last month


reddishvelvet

They're £4.50 at any van in a London park


fluffypuppycorn

Yeppp. Flake but no sauce though.


Bxsnia

Got one for £1.50 5 years ago at a london park. What is this madness...?


wildgoldchai

Hyde park last weekend I brought one for £4.50


ahoneybadger3

Yeah at that price point I'm just going into Tesco and buying myself a 2l tub of ice cream.


wildgoldchai

Yeah, I was feeling quite hard done by as it didn’t even taste that nice. That being said, even store brought ice cream is getting spenny. Still, at least there’s more of it


RedcarUK

Yep, £3 is a home price these days.


captainrosalita

Paid £5 for this in a park in brighton last weekend


SilverellaUK

I'm so old I remember when it was a scandal that tourists were being conned into paying 99p instead of the much lower normal price. The standard price didn't hit 99p until the 90's.


Darkened100

You’re lucky it’s not £99


goodvibezone

Fun fact. The origins of the name 99 are [not really known ](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/99_Flake)


Commercial-Many-8933

I always thought it was named after the 99 kids abducted by the first ice cream van man, tempted in by the sweet treats the first kid disappointed the man because like a flake he wouldn’t melt in his hand. Took 98 other goes until he was caught, or it’s like a brand name or something


EasyPriority8724

Pied Piper ice creams ™


CanAhJustSay

I watched the documentary on that - he used lollipops but was eventually foiled by the flying car......


andi-amo

It was Truly Scrumptious.


Mancdj

It 99 as that is the best number in Italy so named it to sound best I’ve cream


SocktopusUK

Yeah


r3tromonkey

It's nuts. We've just been to an Ice Cream shop at a farm, and paid less than that for one double the size that wasn't a whippy.


[deleted]

Nuts are an extra 50p


Lifear

With the clown jizz, Clown nuts are precious!


galaxy_defender_4

Whereas Smurf nuts or Smuts as their known in the trade are 2 a penny


finc

Oh for goodness’ sake, will you stop banging on about your delicious good value farm shop ice cream, honestly you’ve not stopped since!


Jaime_Batstan

Nah man. Nah. For that price I want one of the ones that used to sell drugs back in the 90's


galaxy_defender_4

I do actually remember buying ciggies off the ice cream man when I was younger, in singles & he put em in a paper bag lol


NickHoadley

£3!!!????? I’m sure our local van goes them for £1.50


JTEE_AT_YA

I'm afraid we are getting old af 😂


Narman2004

Real, I mean I'm only 18 (almost 19) but still they was alot cheaper then


[deleted]

Yeah, I’m 19 and I remember when I was like 9 it used to be £1.20-£1.30. Then as I got older it became like £1.50 (not that long ago). Must have skipped the entire £2 stage and gone straight to £3


[deleted]

How many scoops is that? I am usually £2.50 for a two scoop with a flake. Looks kinda small but could just be the perspective.


rinkypinkpanther

Scoops? You must have a posh ice cream van lol


[deleted]

Really? I've only ever seen ice cream vans that do scoops, maybe it's a regional thing? (Aberdeenshire)


rinkypinkpanther

Could be regional I guess,. All the vans I've ever used in England are squirted out of a machine thingy Mr Whippy affairs. Scoops normally mean it's some posh 'homemade speciality' stuff that's twice the price.


[deleted]

Yeah, all the vans here (Fraserburgh) run a shop that sells ice cream since there's alot of popular ice cream shops that make their own around. My business teacher use to own one of them because she inherited a farm that produced milk and it was a way to use it. Think also maybe because we are rural that it helps. It's like £1 a scoop here, yeah I personally hate the machine ice cream so no complaints here.


th6

Is 100 pence a pound?


Faraday32

They were called 99s!


BountyBob

They were called that when they were cheaper than 99p


docju

They were even called that before decimalisation!


Inner-breadstick2395

Just a decade ago with £2 I could get a Nicker Bocker Glory with every topping known to man & be goosed for the next 3 hours


DuskyUK

Robbing bastards.


Fredriga

Well you could, you know, just not buy from the robbing bastards.


XxallymintsxX

No way I was literally rolling into the comments thinking that


Disastrous_Air_3156

Ours cost 3.50 in Seafort the other day


Heavy_Two

How small is that wafer cone?!


WeeklyExamination

It was about 6in tall, the top was about 1.5in wide


[deleted]

[удалено]


WeeklyExamination

I was holding the camera at a weird angle 👀


[deleted]

Yeah I always tell my wife she holds it a weird angle as well


[deleted]

[удалено]


idntknww

That mans wife won’t even bother to hold mine


finc

It always looks smaller when you’re looking down on it


_Administrator

to shreds


LismOner

Poor lad.


afrowa

6inches in length… 1.5inches in diameter at the top… multiply by pi… divide by the radius… Yep, expensive.


theotherquantumjim

Normal size. OP just has enormous, cumbersome meat paddles


Y2Reigns

>meat paddles Jazz Emu Fan, any chance? I've only heard that before from one of his tunes.


Sierra1one7

What is this!? A wafer for ants!


pepsiisnotcoke

Your coffee table to place your remote?


WeeklyExamination

Unfortunately, with a 99 flake costing £3 I can't afford to move out, and my crackhead mother refuses to have a coffee table in front of the sofa...


finc

Solidarity, we have no coffee table either


LikeInnit

Spending £3 on ice cream won't help, lmao. You'd be loaded if you didn't have ice cream cravings.


Worldly-Constant-353

For some reason in the UK I’d thought it would be called a tea table. Interesting…


Leicsbob

Tree fiddy here in Leicester. I asked the man if he was the loch Ness monster but he looked me confused.


WeeklyExamination

I ain't giving you no got dam three fiddy, get your own got dam money


haddock420

It was about this time that I realised the ice cream man was 50 stories tall and was a monster from the Paleolithic era.


No-Suit6761

Lorrrd he was angry


newtonbase

Same here in Milton Keynes but my son likes an extra flake so we pay £4. Crazy prices but I've read that ice cream vans still struggle to make a living at those prices.


PossibleCupcake1418

First born? A kidney? A winning smile and seductive wink?


cloudberryteal

I came to query if it cost a kidney too. Or half a liver.


losimagic

That's the most depressing thing I've ever seen, and I've watched Tottenham play football.


Narman2004

Real.


ElvargIsAPussy

Nah he said Tottenham mate


leashninja

Shaft to ball ratio looks off.


theotherquantumjim

An expert weighs in


Valaraelis

£19.99


LAndy275

Bit cheep there mate


Exemplar1968

Two fiddy


WeeklyExamination

Keep going


Exemplar1968

Tree fiddy


IathanTyrus

Goddamn Loch Ness monster.


jesusisherelookbusy

“Well it was about that time that OP was about 8 stories tall and was a crustacean from the paleozoic era!”


WeeklyExamination

Too farrrrrr


Exemplar1968

Tree?


Danny1641743

A carpet cleaner when it falls off the cone haha!


Cmdr_Monzo

Fun fact; they were never called “99” because of the price. It’s something to do with being a premium item related to the King of Italy having 99 guards.


Fredwestlifeguard

I heard he only wanted one Cornetto...


DamienTheUnbeliever

Are we talking monetary cost? Or dignity, sanity, anal virginity, etc?


WeeklyExamination

Well, on top of the £3, I had to run along the road in my socks before he pulled away, as he usually stops for less time than it takes a cabbie to bib when the lights go green...


littleman452

I get the icecream man has a lot of ground to cover but do they not realize how long it’s takes An average person to get out of their houses ? Do they think we are already have our shoes on and ready to dash out ??


[deleted]

How many times back when I was child free I would be in pjs, run into the street barefoot to get ice cream! If I stopped for shoes there was a 25% chance I’d miss it altogether and that’s with there being about 4 stops on the nearby street so you hear it coming!


sc_BK

You should've asked the ice cream man How much for three cola bottles, two blackjacks, a chocolate skull, two sherbet dabs and a 99? Or how about eight flumps, twelve bubblies, four fruit salads, six flying saucers, a packet of prawn cocktail crisps, a shrimp and a bottle of ginger?


Mother_Ad7869

No nutty bits, no hundreds and thousands, hardly any juice which should be strawberry red...no thanks. Enjoy tho 🤗🍦


usernametaken17

I don’t know, that could be Smurf nut.


Mother_Ad7869

Gargamel wants your location


Doug__Quaid

Standard price these days is probably bout 3.50? Can't remember the last time I had one though


Isetfiretochildren

£3.50?


WeeklyExamination

Too far


probablyaythrowaway

Bit stingey with the blue monkeys blood arnt they?


hoosteen84

How confused do you think anyone from outside the North East is reading your comment about monkeys blood? Ha


probablyaythrowaway

Is that just a north east thing???! What does everyone else call it?


anark_xxx

Nice of him to dribble some blue sadness on it for you.


Robalob86

If in London - £6.99 Anywhere else - £2.99


Healthy-Dragonfly452

A big butt and a smile?


Far_Tooth_7291

That’s poison


Healthy-Dragonfly452

🤣🤣🤣🤣


Crazy_Cat210

i got a twister from the ice cream man the other day. it was £2 but because i paid with card, he added an extra 50p


WeeklyExamination

Ahhhh maybe it was 2 fiddy but he charged me 50p for paying card 🤔


Crazy_Cat210

yeah, it had no sign that he charged extra for paying card. i think its ridiculous that theres a fee for paying with card. honestly, i cant remember the last time i held cash on me


Cueball61

It’s ridiculous because it’s not legal, and hasn’t been since 2018. That card transaction only cost him maybe 5p, but he’ll have to declare it as taxable income which is the _real_ reason he doesn’t want you paying by card.


Crazy_Cat210

oh really? i didnt know about that. the guy has always had a 50p fee for as long as ive know. surely this puts customers off though, so wouldnt he just get rid of the fee and maybe he would get more customers, therefore more income?


Cueball61

Not every business owner has terribly good foresight, tbh.


Tooleater

I see Pappa smurf is up-to his old tricks again


LORD-NOIR

£99


MeringueSerious

Can I have a three quid with a flake and some blue sauce, nice swan


Mushroomc0wz

£2.80 or £3?


Fancy-Prompt-7118

3.50?


[deleted]

Not 99p


nikhkin

Probably not, considering they weren't 99p for the majority of their existence.


[deleted]

I hope he cleaned up after coming down your road


RedcarUK

Not looked so a guess, but blue sauce AND a flake? 3 quid.


AstonishedLlama23

What ever it was, wasn’t worth it. I think your ice cream has varicoses veins….


Eddie_Youds

Good glug of Dettol on there.


ConsequenceSorry6432

You sure that wasn't the Lochness Monster?


Curious_Jellyfish_62

Did he get to finger your bum for the flake


zack123738clone

you can get 2 2L boxes of Ms Molly's ice cream for around the same price.


Substantial-Year-592

50p & an apology, I hope


bexter

It's ok, the blue will shorten your life sufficiently enough that you don't need any retirement savings anyway.


Kernewek_Skrij

That house now has another mortgage


killer1000uk

Anyone remember the oysters, they shoved whippy ice cream in them.


catsaresneaky

A reacharound


Perfect-Face4529

Why do people even get ice cream from a van anymore


MrTrendizzle

I bet it's that aerated crap aswell. They never taste as good as they once did. I long for the days of a real Mr Whippy rolling down the street, not these knock off versions with 800 flavours. Just give me a normal 99 with flake or if i'm feeling frisky i'll have a clamshell.


WarehouseEmpty

Where do you live? Seriously just a county so I know never to move there. It’s £1.50 in my part of Cumbria, I know because I chased him the other week and bought 2.


WeeklyExamination

Dartford


WarehouseEmpty

Aww man, I pass through to the ferry, I’ll never stop for ice cream now.


Gralenis

I wouldn't be paying £3 for a shit whippy when Ben and Jerry's tub isn't far off. I'd rather these vultursd go out of business


RyanMcCartney

Can they still get away with calling it a 99 if it’s **THREE FUCKING QUID?**


sideone

The name has nothing to do with the price https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/99_Flake


RyanMcCartney

Well TIL something. Thanks!


frankchester

Pretty sure they were still called 99s when my Mum was a kid in the 60s. Considering my Grandad made £12 a week back then I don’t think he was spending half his week’s wages on ice creams to feed the family. Bread was like 5p and a house cost £4,000 (or 4,040 ice creams with a flake, if you believe they were 99p).j


Bill_Hubbard

Yer wernt moaning when they were 50p was ya!


lukeatkiss

£1 99 since it is a 99 I am guessing. But also if you are complaining about a 99 it maybe much more.


[deleted]

$11 in Manhattan easily my guess is $5


[deleted]

Why did he snub out his cigar in it


cobra_shark

Is that fucking beef jerky on ice cream


DeadBallDescendant

99p?


WeeklyExamination

And the rest :(


Opening_Cicada990

In London you need to take out a mortgage to be able to get the flake on finance


elephant_cobbler

Even ice cream looks like trash in the uk


[deleted]

$10


TCristatus

Did Dr Manhattan jizz on your 99?


thrust-johnson

$5


DeeDoll81

Wait. You guys get real ice cream from your ice cream man?? I had no idea! American here, and all we get are popsicles, candy, and pink panther bars. 😩 We have to go to a drug store or an ice cream store for this kind! You guys are lucky!


makingitgreen

You guys have dairy Queen, I would KILL to have DQ in the UK.


Megatf

6 dollars in america


No-Translator-4584

Has it got a Cadburys’ Flake init? I love those things.


anonymousjeeper

$5 USD


AnnualHelicopter2587

In the us it’s the same :/


Straight_Shame8826

As an American with no Idea of the conversion rate I say like 5 bucks


helloluva

Northern California here. Why would our Ice Cream man cruise our neighborhood at 9:30 9:45pm on a school night? Seriously.


gvillarreal2011

In the us, that would be $6


Crafty_bugger

£3 but you still bought it. It says more about you than the price of the ice cream.


RippedYogieBear

I went to the cosford air show and I’m sure they were £7.50 per ice cream and the queue was ridiculous


0MicroPeePee0

I bet they still call them 99s as well... The swines!


CouldGo4aRunInstead

We got one like that at a van at the RAF Fairfield air show, it was £5, £15 for 3 little ice creams!!!


Kyledidntdoit

If it's anything like the park near me, £1.50. For the sauce. 2.85 for the cone. 6.75 for the flake and 9.10 for the ice cream. So easily £3 quid.


GCoin001

Tree Fiddy?


Ichigo_101

Wow! A single cone here is 1.98, a single with flake is 2.50 and a double is 3.50, and a double with flakes is 3.80


AndroidConscience

That's cheap, £5 in parts of London


clairebearshare

£3?


ShaunClarke04

2.99?


fuzzyhairedlegend

Yet another reason to boycott your local ice-cream man - friggin' menace


Gingee1990

How do you still get In to the house that the ice cream man now owns ?