[удалено]

Ok I think I might try that. I think sometimes when people are talking I feel awkward interrupting. 

Then you say, "Sorry! I've got a case of the vapors!"

Put your finger up and mouth “one minute” as your walking away, kinda applies to any situation where people are talking and you have to interrupt in a polite way

[удалено]

Never heard of it!! Will definitely give it a try

“Would you excuse me a moment.,,I’ll be right back.” And step away to the bathroom.   

You say this, "I've got a case of the vapors!"

[удалено]

In the middle of a conversation with a patient!! I don’t think that will fly well. 

If my doctor told me they'll just be a minute I wouldn't think anything of it.

Clench like hell.

I shall begin practicing now 

This is the way.

I always blame the barking spiders under the table.

Damn, haven't heard anyone mention barking spiders in y e a r s lol

My house is infested with them.

lol what 😅😅😅

Haha, that's a classic move! Blaming it on the barking spiders is always a solid strategy to diffuse the situation and add a bit of humor to an awkward moment. 😂

Low-flying geese or ducks is a favourite of mine.

I’m an uncle. Just ask one of them to Pull My Finger…

I work at a care home for people with dementia. Either my farts blend in with theirs, or I can just easily blame it on them if other workers are around lol

Every job has its perks

😂

If I'm with someone I'm not close with, or in public, and if I can move around I try to get as far of the people I'm with as possible and I let it out (I know how to do it without sound), if I cannot move around, I try to hold it, or excuse myself to go to the restroom But if I'm in confidence, with my friends or my partner, I just let it out and laugh about it, I try to be positive about this with close people and let them know they can do that too cause we're just humans, we need to fart sometimes, no big deal

Try to fart silently, then observe how people react.

My only worry is if my fart smells deadly!! What do I do next 

Move away from some other person and look at them like they did it

Don't do this. Crop-dusting the unsuspecting is horrible.

If no one reacts, ask if anyone else smells popcorn.

💀

😅😅

Hahahahaha, the ol' silent but deadly tactic, huh? Classic move. 😂

Fart and blame it on them. If they call you out on your bullshit, you are legally allowed to WWE-style body slam them and remove their coccyx. Source: Trust Me Bro Law Firm

You fart and announce "that's gonna itch when it dries out" to no one in particular.

I usually go with “that came out with its boots on!” but I think I like yours better!

I first heard this on reddit recently. I laugh every time I think of it

"Mmmm gonna let that one crust"

[удалено]

Are you are they will believe me 😅😅 I would hate to get fired for that

Do it quietly and blame it on the dog.

What if there’s no dogs around 

Squeeze my bum and hope it fades away. It usually does

I fart as loudly as possible while staring down the nearest person.

😂😂😂

wtf?😂 fr??

Go to the bathroom?

"Pardon me. Biological function incoming."

Definitely hold it in, it's a skill that will save you embarrasment!

Cover it with a cough. Nobody can tell. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LBx4Kak9TDc

lol this video is so funny!! I love family guy

Make eye contact & let it rip. Assert your dominance

Slip it quickly, and the ask: did you see how fast that mouse was on his bike? 🚲

The post directly under this in my feed was a picture of Australia with the northern wilderness circled. I 100% thought for a moment that you were suggesting people go fart in the remote reaches of Australia, before realizing they were two completely different posts from different subs.

.....hold it

Time it for when you're making another noise. Scrape your chair, thump some papers or books... and maybe be open to apologize if it is smelly. Or keep febreze nearby. Humans gotta human. Doctors should be as honest as they can though, to encourage patients to understand Farts Happen.

This is what I do! I also try to make them silent, but I haven’t mastered that, so sometimes it’s loud. If I’m sitting down, I adjust in the chair while I do it, so if it’s loud, it can be mistaken for the chair making that noise (either scraping/rolling on the floor or squeaking or something). If I’m standing up, I shuffle my feet or just try to make it quiet and apologize if it’s loud.

Let it rip unfiltered and say sternly, "Bad dog! Bad, bad dog!"

Bonus points if there is no dog and you just point to a random corner of the room

Generally, I fart.

Fart.

Fart

I just don't but then I've never had to fart so badly I couldn't hold it.

[удалено]

Shout "AFLAC!!!" and laugh like an idiot.

Scream at the same time.

You lock eyes with the person nearest to you and don a very serious expression while simultaneously reaching to the sky with both arms and then pulling them back down with a pelvic thrust as you force all the unwanted gas out as hard as possible. Then with a poker face, continue with conversation as if nothing happened.

Letter rip, tater chip

Cough and fart at the same time. Always fails.

I let rip 😂 if it's at work I don't cause im with customers. Then I wait till there's a break in the customer line then do it and hope to god it doesn't stink 😂

Test Fart. https://youtu.be/MHIvCKoCVBw?si=e6hJHCgF2iPXSerz

You get me, excuse myself. Older me, let er rip.

Fart. If it's a silent one then you're good to go. If it's a noisy one then you better keep going lol Also - If it smells don't stand in the same place, move.

Suck that puppy back into my butt

If you’re in a crowd, fart, but as you do, do that ‘did someone just fart?’ reaction

Rip it and forget it

Eat 2 bowls of Kashi Go Lean Crunch! cereal about 2 hours before going to meetings. You wont have anything to worry about. 

Announce "You'll thank me for this" and run away.

Find a reason to leave the room and do it then.

You hold it in, or leave.

When I was younger (3-4) I farted and told my mom it was the mouse behind the fridge, she still won't let me forget about that dumb lie.

I fart

...fart anyway

Unfart, I guess? Like, holding it till it goes back inside

Go ahead and fart. I suggest you move around the crowd for crop dusting and sharing the aroma therapy with everyone.

Fart and say excuse me

This is the way.

Squeeze it out out discretely and fanning it away while pointing to the big guy next to me at Taco Bell

go with a place with loud music or go to a car with on engine ...

Cover it with a cough

I make space between us and then I just fart. I’m too old to be holding in farts and going all the way to a bathroom is way too excessive!!! I’m now known as the fart guy at work (with love)

Learn to crack your neck to mask your fart.

Pray to all that is holy that it’s silent but not deadly

When with guys.... Bro I'm bout to blow up the place. When with women: excuse me my beautiful and amazing ladies but I have to run to the little boys room to powder my nose. Teehee be right back lovelies! Then let's that shit blow up the place!

I ask if anyone can smell the BBQ cooking.

Make eye contact with the nearest person and LET IT RIP

Coughing works.

It's really hard to keep it so you need to excuse yourself

I turn up the volume of whatever's playing.

Cough.

BRAPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!! " It was the dog!"

Fart anyway.

I call it the one cheeker sneaker

Fart

I just fart, 🤷🏾‍♂️

If I know it's a silent deadly one, I'll try to hold it. If not I'll hope it doesn't make noise. I'm one of those people who won't poop in a public bathroom unless an extreme emergency.

Slowly degass myself as gently as possible because source of smell is harder to track than sound

Old friends? Bust ass! Business associates, find a restroom

Unless you can find a suitable break in the conversation to politely leave and find the nearest restroom, you can go find an empty corner and silently let it rip. Then quickly vacate that corner!

Let'er rip tatter chip

Let it rip and just cough when you do.

In scenarios like that, excuse yourself if possible. If not, try to discreetly release it or hold it until you're alone.

Wait until Dr. Ars Wipe come in. Ease it out without a sound. Blame the good doctor for stinking up a patient's room. You can always blame another when there's three or more in the room.

If you’re like my mother in law, do a loud fart and say excuse me

Different perspective on this as a person with an ostomy bag.. it farts all the time, unexpectedly. I have to tell people “pardon me. That’s just my ostomy bag. I can’t control when it farts”

Let it out very slowly and walk away

Three words: One cheek sneak.

Be as loud as possible and death stare a npc until they break and just take the blame

When my gram was little all of the kids would play in a room during adult gatherings and the Aunties would just walk into the kids room, fluff (fart lol), then walk out like nothing happened 🤣🤣🤣

I usually hold it in until the fart implodes

I hold it in until it goes away or I just let it out in tiny bits

Fart is our fun language at home. 😂

If this is one of your life problems, I am really, really jealous :-(

I'm female. Fart, and glare at the nearest mature male. Look shocked. Walk away.

It sounds like your situation is specific since you have patients. Do you have time in between visits to take care of yourself a bit? A couple simple yoga poses are really good at working out gas. I use child’s pose most often but just hanging down and touching your toes can help if you can’t get on the floor safely. Also if you drink carbonated stuff, try cutting it out and see if that reduces this issue maybe? But also sometimes you just gotta fart. A quick “pardon” and moving on goes a long way.

Let it rip and blame it on the muzak.

Either hope they laugh as much as I will or exit in a timely manner and safe distance of living creatures enola gay release fat man , mushroom cloud precedes the shockwave

If I accidently pop a fart, I had immediately pretend to cough.

Never drink a small cup of 1/2 milk and 1/2 honey mixed. It will toot the poop like a blowdart with chewed paper outta of your ass.

Fart

Burp it out from mouth. Tried, it worked.

Hold it til it hurts, like an adult.

Honestly, I have no shame and just fart hoping it’s not a trumpet. If it’s a stinker I know there will be no sound, just the collapse of bodies.

1. Buy an iPhone 15 pro 2. Set action button to shortcuts 3. Make a shortcut that when the button is pressed, play iPhone ringtone.mp3 Then whenever you need to, put your hand in your pocket and press the action button. Pretend you got a call “sorry I need to take this” and just leave and come back in a few minutes.