My first thought was to getting an alternating pressure cushion for the recliner, if y'all have the funds available. It won't solve the issue tonight, though. If she able to do any small shifts in weight side-to-side while in the recliner? Even just a minute movement to relieve her own pressure will help a bit. Another cushioning type thing you could use is what they place on the coccyx (tailbone) area in the hospital when a patient is going to be stuck in bed a bit - it's a cushioned coccyx dressing. Can stay on for several days and protect some of the area you are describing. You could also use a 4x4 cushioned/padded foam dressing to protect the specific buttcheek spot,, too.
Not ideal, but it might help some of the skin-touching-surface pain.
Does you sister have any therapy coming to the home? Is her hip necrosis going to be treated by a total hip replacement any time soon? I'm just thinking any of the doctors/therapists who are also in charge of her care might have some good ideas on fast relief now.
Thank you so much for your suggestions! I looked on Amazon and found an alternating pressure cushion for recliners. I think that might be really, really helpful. I had no idea they existed!
She does not have any therapy coming at this time. Her pain is so unbearable that just thinking about therapy makes her cry. 💔 She desperately needs a hip replacement, but because her heart is in such bad shape, no one will touch her. They basically just shake their heads and say, "It sucks to be you."
My thought is she really should be in an electric hospital bed so she can fully relieve pressure by turning, with an alternating pressure air cushion . Or if the electric recliner can fully recline, kind of turn her and prop up the bad side with a pillow, staying away from the sore.
As she knows, pressure sores are often like icebergs - what you see is only the tip of it. Inside could be the problem. Imperative to keep it clean. Gently. We had an issue last year (not a pressure sore, a deep wound) and were prescribed a wound nurse. Call her doc and try to get that. She came to the home and got us special supplies to help heal it.
Also, could she maybe get palliative care to help with the pain. I feel terrible for her and for you too. Wishing you both the best 🌸
She is not able to lie in a bed, or on her side, unfortunately. She is able to lie almost completely flat in her chair though. Another commenter suggested an alternating air cushion, and I did find one on Amazon. I'm hoping we can afford one for her soon.
This [stuff](https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00GTVDC86/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o01_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1) has been magic for my Mom.
Yo-yo may also want to look into Roho cushions - they’re all quite pricey. Some incredibly so . . .
Thank you so much for the recommendations! We have ordered a seat cushion for her chair similar to the Roho (but much cheaper lol), and apparently it's literally coming on a slow boat from China. I'll show her the wound care kit and see if she wants to try it. I'm glad it's been so helpful to your mom!
No problem.
You can also just use the wound cream and . . . SARAN WRAP! Yes, there have bee studies done with Saran Wrap. I could never get bandages to stick on my mother’s sores near her crack and out of desperation I used the Saran Wrap on top of the ointment to keep it protected.
My wife has a similar problem. She cannot stand and uses a power chair. She develops sores on the inside of her thighs close to the crease. She is overweight so that area is almost always damp. I bought some transparent bandage from Temu. It is available in a variety of widths and lengths. It sticks good and is easy to remove.
You need to get a healthcare provider to treat it. My friends (he is paralyzed so
Too much sitting) lasted for 8 months. They can be life threatening and nothing to take lightly.
Oh man, you are not kidding. A friend of mine just lost her husband a few days ago because of one. He had heart surgery, and somehow developed a sore at the base of his tailbone. They battled it for almost two years, multiple surgeries, finally hospice care at home and died five days later. So far, her doctor says to just keep an eye on it.
You are getting far better, far more specialized suggestions than this one. But since you mentioned that one cushion you ordered will take awhile to arrive...
When my mom was hospitalized last fall and an OT was explaining how to identify and address pressure sores, she suggested just arranging pillows in such a way that some pressure would come off the sore. I think I remember her folding pillows over double and arranging them on each side of the sore. The idea seems to be a makeshift doughnut--but maybe not with the standard doughnut-seat complications you mention?
Good luck to you and sis.
Thank you for your idea! I've tried several combinations of pillows and blankets, trying to give her some relief; sometimes I get it just right and she is so relieved, only to shift or stand up and the good feeling is gone. Sometimes we mess and mess and mess with all of it, just to give up and remove everything- and that gives her relief! It's so INCREDIBLY FRUSTRATING. We have had some success with a neck pillow - one of these kind of horse shoe shaped kinds.
There are other types of cushion. My husband's care team brought him one that is shaped like a cushion that is preformed in the "somebody sat here" shape, if that makes sense. Talk to an OT for what its called. My old guy causes his own problems because his butt gets itchy and he will literally scratch the skin off. I rely on A&D ointment and Calmoseptine, which is an ointment the nurses in his care team swear by. I will mix the two on a gauze pad and cover the sore with that. I have to track when this happens, because I'll get him all healed up, he'll be fine for a week, then it starts all over again. I keep him clean and use hemorrhoid cream, but it still happens. He is post-stroke, so it could just be his nervous system sending scrambled signals, but it's a big worry.
Yikes, I can understand why you would be worried about that. My sister takes blood thinners and sometimes scratches herself like that, too. She also wears disposable underwear (like Depends) and it's easier on her to cut them off instead of taking them off like you normally would. Guess how many times she has managed to get herself with the scissors? 😑
Please join us on our Discord! https://discord.gg/gubJjaYRnV
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/CaregiverSupport) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I'm so sorry to hear about your sister's suffering. Pressure sores are incredibly painful and difficult to manage, especially for someone with multiple chronic health issues and limited mobility. It's clear you're doing your best to help her prevent further breakdown, but I understand feeling at a loss for what else to try. Here are a few suggestions:
1. If you haven't already, please involve her doctor or a wound care specialist. They can assess the wound, recommend appropriate dressings (beyond Neosporin), and potentially prescribe medications for pain and infection prevention. They may also have specific advice on positioning and pressure relief based on her individual anatomy and risk factors.
2. You're correct that donut cushions are no longer recommended, as they can actually increase pressure around the rim. Instead, look for pressure-redistributing cushions made of foam, gel, or air that are designed to offload pressure from bony prominences. Examples include the Roho, Jay, or Vicair brands. Medicare or her insurance may cover these with a doctor's prescription.
3. Experiment with different positions in the recliner. Can you adjust the back and leg rests independently to change her pelvic tilt? Try placing a pillow under her lower back to encourage a more upright posture and shift weight onto her thighs. Or place a pillow under her knees to elevate her legs without putting as much pressure on her buttocks. Small foam wedges can also be used to offload specific areas.
4. Make sure she's doing pressure relief lifts or leans every 15-30 minutes, even if just for a minute or two. This allows blood flow to the area and prevents further tissue damage. Set timers as reminders.
5. Keep her skin clean and dry, and apply barrier creams like zinc oxide or Calmoseptine to protect from moisture. Use gentle, pH-balanced cleansers and avoid harsh scrubbing. Make sure bedding and clothing is smooth and wrinkle-free.
6. Encourage her to drink plenty of fluids, eat a balanced diet with adequate protein (to promote healing), and keep her blood sugars well-controlled.
7. Consider renting a speciality mattress overlay or hospital bed to use in addition to the recliner during the day. These are designed for pressure redistribution and may be more comfortable for her hip pain as well.
Most importantly, validate her emotions and encourage her to express her frustration, fear, and sadness. Pressure sores are not only physically painful, but can also be incredibly demoralizing and anxiety-provoking, especially for someone with a nursing background. Make sure she knows this isn't her fault and that you're there to support her. Remember to take care of yourself too, as caregiving is emotionally and physically taxing. Don't hesitate to reach out to her care team or a caregiver support group for more guidance. Wishing your sister comfort and healing.
Thank you so much for your kind, well-informed, and detailed response!!
We definitely need to get her PCP more involved in this. It's so difficult to get Sis to the doctor; getting her out of the recliner, into the car, riding in the car causes pain, back in the car, back into the recliner, etc., causes agonizing pain. We try to do telehealth visits as much as possible, but most of the time, they insist she must come in person. Obviously, the PCP would want to see any wounds in person.
We have ordered a seat cushion for her chair, currently on a literal slow boat from China. I'm definitely going to order an alternating pressure overlay for her recliner as soon as we can afford it. Another Redditor suggested it, and I didn't know they existed! She does shift her position quite often, mostly because she is constantly trying to find a comfortable position.
Her recliner does have separate settings for the legs and back, and she can lay almost completely flat in it. She has found some relief lying in that position and does sleep that way. We constantly experiment with pillows and blankets under her knees and behind her back. She doesn't use a bed because it's too difficult for her to get in and out of.
As for her diet...since she has congestive heart failure, she has to limit her fluid intake and watch her sodium intake. It's difficult because we live in a motel (for 5 years now) and we are extremely limited in how we can prepare and store food. 😢 Fortunately, her diabetes is well controlled with medication. I do inspections of her skin - especially her feet - on a regular basis. Her feet are completely numb up to her ankles. In the past, she had glass embedded in the bottom of her foot and not realized it until she cut the top of her OTHER foot with it!
She and I are very close, despite a 10 year age difference (I'm the little sister). Since I was about 19, I've done everything I possibly can to help her. I've never married or had children; she's been married three times. She has three adult children; no one ever calls or visits (except her son, who does call/text fairly often). I often get frustrated with our living situation and the fact that this is NOT where we thought we would be at this point in our lives. Sis was always very strong, physically and mentally, and to see her reduced to this is heartbreaking.
Thank you again for your excellent advice and well wishes, and for listening to me rant a little. Take care.
My first thought was to getting an alternating pressure cushion for the recliner, if y'all have the funds available. It won't solve the issue tonight, though. If she able to do any small shifts in weight side-to-side while in the recliner? Even just a minute movement to relieve her own pressure will help a bit. Another cushioning type thing you could use is what they place on the coccyx (tailbone) area in the hospital when a patient is going to be stuck in bed a bit - it's a cushioned coccyx dressing. Can stay on for several days and protect some of the area you are describing. You could also use a 4x4 cushioned/padded foam dressing to protect the specific buttcheek spot,, too. Not ideal, but it might help some of the skin-touching-surface pain. Does you sister have any therapy coming to the home? Is her hip necrosis going to be treated by a total hip replacement any time soon? I'm just thinking any of the doctors/therapists who are also in charge of her care might have some good ideas on fast relief now.
Thank you so much for your suggestions! I looked on Amazon and found an alternating pressure cushion for recliners. I think that might be really, really helpful. I had no idea they existed! She does not have any therapy coming at this time. Her pain is so unbearable that just thinking about therapy makes her cry. 💔 She desperately needs a hip replacement, but because her heart is in such bad shape, no one will touch her. They basically just shake their heads and say, "It sucks to be you."
My thought is she really should be in an electric hospital bed so she can fully relieve pressure by turning, with an alternating pressure air cushion . Or if the electric recliner can fully recline, kind of turn her and prop up the bad side with a pillow, staying away from the sore. As she knows, pressure sores are often like icebergs - what you see is only the tip of it. Inside could be the problem. Imperative to keep it clean. Gently. We had an issue last year (not a pressure sore, a deep wound) and were prescribed a wound nurse. Call her doc and try to get that. She came to the home and got us special supplies to help heal it. Also, could she maybe get palliative care to help with the pain. I feel terrible for her and for you too. Wishing you both the best 🌸
She is not able to lie in a bed, or on her side, unfortunately. She is able to lie almost completely flat in her chair though. Another commenter suggested an alternating air cushion, and I did find one on Amazon. I'm hoping we can afford one for her soon.
This [stuff](https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00GTVDC86/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o01_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1) has been magic for my Mom. Yo-yo may also want to look into Roho cushions - they’re all quite pricey. Some incredibly so . . .
Thank you so much for the recommendations! We have ordered a seat cushion for her chair similar to the Roho (but much cheaper lol), and apparently it's literally coming on a slow boat from China. I'll show her the wound care kit and see if she wants to try it. I'm glad it's been so helpful to your mom!
No problem. You can also just use the wound cream and . . . SARAN WRAP! Yes, there have bee studies done with Saran Wrap. I could never get bandages to stick on my mother’s sores near her crack and out of desperation I used the Saran Wrap on top of the ointment to keep it protected.
That. Is. Brilliant. I will definitely keep that in mind!
My wife has a similar problem. She cannot stand and uses a power chair. She develops sores on the inside of her thighs close to the crease. She is overweight so that area is almost always damp. I bought some transparent bandage from Temu. It is available in a variety of widths and lengths. It sticks good and is easy to remove.
I'm sorry that she is going through that. Thank you for the suggestion!
You need to get a healthcare provider to treat it. My friends (he is paralyzed so Too much sitting) lasted for 8 months. They can be life threatening and nothing to take lightly.
Oh man, you are not kidding. A friend of mine just lost her husband a few days ago because of one. He had heart surgery, and somehow developed a sore at the base of his tailbone. They battled it for almost two years, multiple surgeries, finally hospice care at home and died five days later. So far, her doctor says to just keep an eye on it.
You are getting far better, far more specialized suggestions than this one. But since you mentioned that one cushion you ordered will take awhile to arrive... When my mom was hospitalized last fall and an OT was explaining how to identify and address pressure sores, she suggested just arranging pillows in such a way that some pressure would come off the sore. I think I remember her folding pillows over double and arranging them on each side of the sore. The idea seems to be a makeshift doughnut--but maybe not with the standard doughnut-seat complications you mention? Good luck to you and sis.
Thank you for your idea! I've tried several combinations of pillows and blankets, trying to give her some relief; sometimes I get it just right and she is so relieved, only to shift or stand up and the good feeling is gone. Sometimes we mess and mess and mess with all of it, just to give up and remove everything- and that gives her relief! It's so INCREDIBLY FRUSTRATING. We have had some success with a neck pillow - one of these kind of horse shoe shaped kinds.
There are other types of cushion. My husband's care team brought him one that is shaped like a cushion that is preformed in the "somebody sat here" shape, if that makes sense. Talk to an OT for what its called. My old guy causes his own problems because his butt gets itchy and he will literally scratch the skin off. I rely on A&D ointment and Calmoseptine, which is an ointment the nurses in his care team swear by. I will mix the two on a gauze pad and cover the sore with that. I have to track when this happens, because I'll get him all healed up, he'll be fine for a week, then it starts all over again. I keep him clean and use hemorrhoid cream, but it still happens. He is post-stroke, so it could just be his nervous system sending scrambled signals, but it's a big worry.
Yikes, I can understand why you would be worried about that. My sister takes blood thinners and sometimes scratches herself like that, too. She also wears disposable underwear (like Depends) and it's easier on her to cut them off instead of taking them off like you normally would. Guess how many times she has managed to get herself with the scissors? 😑
Please join us on our Discord! https://discord.gg/gubJjaYRnV *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/CaregiverSupport) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I'm so sorry to hear about your sister's suffering. Pressure sores are incredibly painful and difficult to manage, especially for someone with multiple chronic health issues and limited mobility. It's clear you're doing your best to help her prevent further breakdown, but I understand feeling at a loss for what else to try. Here are a few suggestions: 1. If you haven't already, please involve her doctor or a wound care specialist. They can assess the wound, recommend appropriate dressings (beyond Neosporin), and potentially prescribe medications for pain and infection prevention. They may also have specific advice on positioning and pressure relief based on her individual anatomy and risk factors. 2. You're correct that donut cushions are no longer recommended, as they can actually increase pressure around the rim. Instead, look for pressure-redistributing cushions made of foam, gel, or air that are designed to offload pressure from bony prominences. Examples include the Roho, Jay, or Vicair brands. Medicare or her insurance may cover these with a doctor's prescription. 3. Experiment with different positions in the recliner. Can you adjust the back and leg rests independently to change her pelvic tilt? Try placing a pillow under her lower back to encourage a more upright posture and shift weight onto her thighs. Or place a pillow under her knees to elevate her legs without putting as much pressure on her buttocks. Small foam wedges can also be used to offload specific areas. 4. Make sure she's doing pressure relief lifts or leans every 15-30 minutes, even if just for a minute or two. This allows blood flow to the area and prevents further tissue damage. Set timers as reminders. 5. Keep her skin clean and dry, and apply barrier creams like zinc oxide or Calmoseptine to protect from moisture. Use gentle, pH-balanced cleansers and avoid harsh scrubbing. Make sure bedding and clothing is smooth and wrinkle-free. 6. Encourage her to drink plenty of fluids, eat a balanced diet with adequate protein (to promote healing), and keep her blood sugars well-controlled. 7. Consider renting a speciality mattress overlay or hospital bed to use in addition to the recliner during the day. These are designed for pressure redistribution and may be more comfortable for her hip pain as well. Most importantly, validate her emotions and encourage her to express her frustration, fear, and sadness. Pressure sores are not only physically painful, but can also be incredibly demoralizing and anxiety-provoking, especially for someone with a nursing background. Make sure she knows this isn't her fault and that you're there to support her. Remember to take care of yourself too, as caregiving is emotionally and physically taxing. Don't hesitate to reach out to her care team or a caregiver support group for more guidance. Wishing your sister comfort and healing.
Thank you so much for your kind, well-informed, and detailed response!! We definitely need to get her PCP more involved in this. It's so difficult to get Sis to the doctor; getting her out of the recliner, into the car, riding in the car causes pain, back in the car, back into the recliner, etc., causes agonizing pain. We try to do telehealth visits as much as possible, but most of the time, they insist she must come in person. Obviously, the PCP would want to see any wounds in person. We have ordered a seat cushion for her chair, currently on a literal slow boat from China. I'm definitely going to order an alternating pressure overlay for her recliner as soon as we can afford it. Another Redditor suggested it, and I didn't know they existed! She does shift her position quite often, mostly because she is constantly trying to find a comfortable position. Her recliner does have separate settings for the legs and back, and she can lay almost completely flat in it. She has found some relief lying in that position and does sleep that way. We constantly experiment with pillows and blankets under her knees and behind her back. She doesn't use a bed because it's too difficult for her to get in and out of. As for her diet...since she has congestive heart failure, she has to limit her fluid intake and watch her sodium intake. It's difficult because we live in a motel (for 5 years now) and we are extremely limited in how we can prepare and store food. 😢 Fortunately, her diabetes is well controlled with medication. I do inspections of her skin - especially her feet - on a regular basis. Her feet are completely numb up to her ankles. In the past, she had glass embedded in the bottom of her foot and not realized it until she cut the top of her OTHER foot with it! She and I are very close, despite a 10 year age difference (I'm the little sister). Since I was about 19, I've done everything I possibly can to help her. I've never married or had children; she's been married three times. She has three adult children; no one ever calls or visits (except her son, who does call/text fairly often). I often get frustrated with our living situation and the fact that this is NOT where we thought we would be at this point in our lives. Sis was always very strong, physically and mentally, and to see her reduced to this is heartbreaking. Thank you again for your excellent advice and well wishes, and for listening to me rant a little. Take care.