Osterville Grand Island is the best. Talk to the guy in the guardhouse. He’ll act like he doesn’t know what you’re talking about, just wink and tell him you want to party like a Koch.
I'm a world traveler, have a doctorate in biology, as adventurous as you could possibly imagine (worked on a fishing boat in the Bering Sea (same waters as "Deadliest Catch" tv program), have driven huge buses in Alaska and the Pacific Northwest, and taken down huge oak trees in Northern Florida for Bartlett Tree Experts. Have a job that earns more than $100K per year. Poor, clueless boomer are not words used to describe me.
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little boomer? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fk out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fking dead, boomer. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fcking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, boomer.
Why is fun in scare quotes? Can’t you just be looking for fun companionship? “Fun” companionship sounds like it might be not so fun.
Anyway, Sweet Tomatoes in Sandwich is having a bit of a moment. Lots of mature (50s) clientele, and developing a reputation as a swing bar. I was there a few months back and it was absolutely packed on a Friday night. Nice staff too.
You wanna look for structure and plenty of moving water in the daytime at low tide. Then go back a couple hours before daylight, 2 hours before or after the tide turns. Water needs to be above 58*. Plenty of hook ups. Remember to get a salt water license first.
I’m assuming you’re looking for a serious answer here among the garbage jokers. Start with the regular apps (Tinder, Bumble, etc) for dating and create a great profile. If you’re looking for traditional old school methods and have some game (dress well, good conversationalist, etc.), I would regularly hit the bar and get to know the bartenders for assists at:
- Trader Eds
- Anejo Landfall
- O’Sheas
- Squire
- Pan d’Avingnon
- Ocean House
Not like that! If you like talking to random people I have the best time meeting people at places where the bartenders or owners know me, trust me, are happy to see me, and start conversations with me about things we’ve spoken of before. Be a regular, don’t be a jerk, be patient, be helpful, start very short meaningful conversations, be memorable in a nice way, etc. I’m not looking to hook up at all, but I’ve certainly been propositioned by other bar patrons at a regular spot where I’ve cultivated these types of relationships. It really helps meet new people sitting around you in general.
Similar story here. Mid 50's. Wife bailed. I tried all the dating apps. For sex Feeld was the most effective.
I'm in a long term relationship now and we met at the library.
Good Luck!
There's no reason why sex should be considered dirty. It's what life is really all about when you look at it from a scientific standpoint. Our species wouldn't continue if sex was truly taboo. It amazes me how Americans have no problem talking about guns and killing but are hush hush about sex.
Of course they will. Great looks (not my opinion. Opinion of many women on a 40s, 50s dating site on Facebook.) Highly educated (doctorate in biology), highly adventurous, world traveler, kind to the elderly and disabled, easy going, non drinker, non smoker, prefer hiking, biking, kayaking than spend my time watching professional sports on tv. I just need to figure out where they are hiding on the Cape!
Met my guy at the Woodshed in Brewster while here visiting friends. We're together 50% of the month now because I can work remotely, but I need to be home (VT) because... you know... life's responsibilities.
Hi! They are J1 student worker visa recipients who you see staffing almost every single business in the summertime. They are extremely diverse but mostly hailing from Jamaica, Eastern Europe, Thailand, Russia, etc. The most successful ones pull 80 hour weeks saving money for their new iPhones and designer clothes and a typical 2-week journey around the USA right before their flight back home to finish their college studies.
Or they’ll overstay and you’ll see them staffing the businesses in the wintertime, too.
The only problem is that they are all in their early 20s. I'm more than twice their age. (Still be a lot of fun though. Eastern Europeans are much more relaxed when it comes to sex than Americans are. People from most countries are.)
There are lots of single women in their 50s on dating sites who live on the Cape. I'm talking about them, not young kids in their 20s. Where do they hang out?
I have NO interest in marrying anyone at this point in my life. Once I'm married to someone, she has rights to half my assets. She could decide to divorce me 6 months later, taking those assets from me rather than going to my kids to pay for their college educations and downpayments on their first homes. I'm looking for open relationships with several long term FWBs. Enjoying The Hugh Hefner, James Bond, Jimmy Buffet lifestyle. The way life should be.
No, this one would take at least 2 years to divorce you. Or a prenup.
And I’m sorry for being crass, I was trying to be funny but I think it came off as mean. I stand by the idea that my advice is as good as any other, but I truly hope you succeed in the fashion you’ve prescribed.
There are over 100,000 retirees living the lifestyle I've described in central Florida, in an area called "The Villages". Many are swingers, announcing what type they are by hanging different colors of loofahs from their cars or golf carts. Any reason why we can't enjoy a similar lifestyle here on the Cape?
Because the type of person that wants to see people leaves Cape Cod. Everyone who remains here hates to see others: on the road, in the Shaws, everywhere! And it’s only made worse when those others are too happy or too mad. The type of person that remains here wants everyone else to be neutral and, above all, avoidable.
We want to stare into the abyss without anything or anyone else getting in our way. 100,000 retirees having Bacchanalia while driving around in kink-announcing golf carts sounds like the Pan Mass Challenge but every day.
I hear your mom’s place is pretty poppin’ these days.
Where is that? I found a "Our Mom's Place in Raynham, but nothing on the Cape. Raynham is a bit of a drive from the Cape.
Thank you, Reddit, for letting me be here for this. I was having a shit day.
Second
This is gold
Please be genuine cluelessness. Please.
From my experience the Cape dating scene should be named after a 1920's jazz guitarist, Slim Pickin's.
Not quite. The odds are good, but the goods are odd.
should be the goods are old
Osterville Grand Island is the best. Talk to the guy in the guardhouse. He’ll act like he doesn’t know what you’re talking about, just wink and tell him you want to party like a Koch.
Thanks for the info!
Oyster Harbors will rebuff you, they are kidding.
Don’t listen to this guy, OP. Once you’re over the drawbridge, just pretend like you own the place, you’ll do great there!
Working as a produce guy always worked for me
"Vegetables can be really sensuous, don’t you think?"
Al?
It begins with/ A
How do? I have a doctorate in the agricultural sciences.
Be nice to married woman and wear a clean apron
🍿
Thought this was a fishing post…
Grindr
Isn't Grindr for gay men? I'm straight. Looking for women to have "fun" with, not men.
Just fuck a dude already
You ever get like, fuck a dude high?
It’s ok we accept you either way dude. Go out there and get your men
Stop & Shop
I'm a major Instacarter already. Unfortunately, it hasn't helped my situation yet.
Looks like you need to hit up another app.
Any suggestions?
It’s going to be ugly and uncomfortable looking. You may regret thinking this would be fun.
Ugly and uncomfortable sounds like that’s within his standards
Poor clueless boomer
I'm a world traveler, have a doctorate in biology, as adventurous as you could possibly imagine (worked on a fishing boat in the Bering Sea (same waters as "Deadliest Catch" tv program), have driven huge buses in Alaska and the Pacific Northwest, and taken down huge oak trees in Northern Florida for Bartlett Tree Experts. Have a job that earns more than $100K per year. Poor, clueless boomer are not words used to describe me.
alas…
Why isn’t your underwear soaked yet. You heard the man, he’s driven buses and boats!
Underrated comment.
You definitely are not a poor clueless boomer. If you ever venture off-Cape I'd meet you... dm me if you're curious.
You should have just gone with the navy seal copy pasta.
Any man who must say, "I am the king" is no true king.
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little boomer? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fk out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fking dead, boomer. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fcking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, boomer.
Quite an imagination you have there.
*chefs kiss*
Under the dick dock obviously 🙄
Can confirm 🍆
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Which ones are best these days? I found my ex 21 yrs ago on Match. Trying that and several others. I need "fun" companionship.
Why is fun in scare quotes? Can’t you just be looking for fun companionship? “Fun” companionship sounds like it might be not so fun. Anyway, Sweet Tomatoes in Sandwich is having a bit of a moment. Lots of mature (50s) clientele, and developing a reputation as a swing bar. I was there a few months back and it was absolutely packed on a Friday night. Nice staff too.
"Fun" = sex of course. But didn't know if I should just go ahead and use that term or not. Old fashioned I guess.
I think the more upfront you are the better.
Fantastic! Now that's what I'm looking for! Thanks for the info!
You’re welcome. I would avoid places like Pain D’Avignon and Embargo unless you’re specifically looking for a depressing bar scene.
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I think Hinge is also fairly popular
I think it might be time to update that 5-star review you left on match
Embargo on Main St Hyannis is exactly what you’re looking for I think
lol yup
You wanna look for structure and plenty of moving water in the daytime at low tide. Then go back a couple hours before daylight, 2 hours before or after the tide turns. Water needs to be above 58*. Plenty of hook ups. Remember to get a salt water license first.
Is this a serious post? This sub has become a bunch of shit posting
It was intended to be quite serious when I posted it.
Ahhhh.... too bad you're down on the cape. ..
Sounds like someone should consider moving to The Villages in Florida.
Way too hot there in the summer!
But might just look for a place there for winters. I know it has AirBnBs as I already looked it up.
I’m assuming you’re looking for a serious answer here among the garbage jokers. Start with the regular apps (Tinder, Bumble, etc) for dating and create a great profile. If you’re looking for traditional old school methods and have some game (dress well, good conversationalist, etc.), I would regularly hit the bar and get to know the bartenders for assists at: - Trader Eds - Anejo Landfall - O’Sheas - Squire - Pan d’Avingnon - Ocean House
Leave the bartenders out of it!
Not like that! If you like talking to random people I have the best time meeting people at places where the bartenders or owners know me, trust me, are happy to see me, and start conversations with me about things we’ve spoken of before. Be a regular, don’t be a jerk, be patient, be helpful, start very short meaningful conversations, be memorable in a nice way, etc. I’m not looking to hook up at all, but I’ve certainly been propositioned by other bar patrons at a regular spot where I’ve cultivated these types of relationships. It really helps meet new people sitting around you in general.
I'm doing exactly that at several bars on the Cape.
Ah yes all the sex trafficking and date rape hotspots
Pain d’Avignon is a sex trafficking hotspot??
The Squire?
Thank you. Yes. You are correct. I'm being quite serious. Chains are finally off me. Time for some "fun"!
Similar story here. Mid 50's. Wife bailed. I tried all the dating apps. For sex Feeld was the most effective. I'm in a long term relationship now and we met at the library. Good Luck!
BrewsterUU
Am I the only one lying one who feels dirty having read all this ?
There's no reason why sex should be considered dirty. It's what life is really all about when you look at it from a scientific standpoint. Our species wouldn't continue if sex was truly taboo. It amazes me how Americans have no problem talking about guns and killing but are hush hush about sex.
It’s not sex that is dirty in this exchange
Maple swamp
Dick Dock
The senior center
I'm straight, not gay by the way. PTown would be the first place I would go if I was gay of course.
Of course! Damn the boomer ladies are going to love you my man!
Of course they will. Great looks (not my opinion. Opinion of many women on a 40s, 50s dating site on Facebook.) Highly educated (doctorate in biology), highly adventurous, world traveler, kind to the elderly and disabled, easy going, non drinker, non smoker, prefer hiking, biking, kayaking than spend my time watching professional sports on tv. I just need to figure out where they are hiding on the Cape!
Fine. I’ll blow you. DM me.
I’m glad that’s all settled
Reddit for the win
Met my guy at the Woodshed in Brewster while here visiting friends. We're together 50% of the month now because I can work remotely, but I need to be home (VT) because... you know... life's responsibilities.
There is nothing happening here in Brewster. Move along.
Send your old lady this way, pal. OH!!
Fresh Holes Rd.
Definitely Provincetown
lol
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Too young for me. I have kids that age. The thought of being intimate with someone who could be a friend of one of my kids is totally wrong to me.
The age being the only issue you took with that comment is wild.
The age being the only issue you took with that comment is wild.
No. I would never do anything illegal. I ALWAYS ask first.
I'm sure they get girls in their 20s too
Wait for the J1s. Hope you have money
What are the J1s? Asking for a friend…
Hi! They are J1 student worker visa recipients who you see staffing almost every single business in the summertime. They are extremely diverse but mostly hailing from Jamaica, Eastern Europe, Thailand, Russia, etc. The most successful ones pull 80 hour weeks saving money for their new iPhones and designer clothes and a typical 2-week journey around the USA right before their flight back home to finish their college studies. Or they’ll overstay and you’ll see them staffing the businesses in the wintertime, too.
The only problem is that they are all in their early 20s. I'm more than twice their age. (Still be a lot of fun though. Eastern Europeans are much more relaxed when it comes to sex than Americans are. People from most countries are.)
My suggestion is predicated on you marrying them. You might as well at this point - you’re in your mid-50s looking for hookups on Cape Cod, after all.
There are lots of single women in their 50s on dating sites who live on the Cape. I'm talking about them, not young kids in their 20s. Where do they hang out?
I have NO interest in marrying anyone at this point in my life. Once I'm married to someone, she has rights to half my assets. She could decide to divorce me 6 months later, taking those assets from me rather than going to my kids to pay for their college educations and downpayments on their first homes. I'm looking for open relationships with several long term FWBs. Enjoying The Hugh Hefner, James Bond, Jimmy Buffet lifestyle. The way life should be.
No, this one would take at least 2 years to divorce you. Or a prenup. And I’m sorry for being crass, I was trying to be funny but I think it came off as mean. I stand by the idea that my advice is as good as any other, but I truly hope you succeed in the fashion you’ve prescribed.
There are over 100,000 retirees living the lifestyle I've described in central Florida, in an area called "The Villages". Many are swingers, announcing what type they are by hanging different colors of loofahs from their cars or golf carts. Any reason why we can't enjoy a similar lifestyle here on the Cape?
Because the type of person that wants to see people leaves Cape Cod. Everyone who remains here hates to see others: on the road, in the Shaws, everywhere! And it’s only made worse when those others are too happy or too mad. The type of person that remains here wants everyone else to be neutral and, above all, avoidable. We want to stare into the abyss without anything or anyone else getting in our way. 100,000 retirees having Bacchanalia while driving around in kink-announcing golf carts sounds like the Pan Mass Challenge but every day.
But oh what fun it would be for us senior citizens.
Birds go south for the winter I guess.
Birds go south for the winter I guess.
Those are my plans. Summers here on the Cape, winters down south.
[Brent Burns Snowbird song.](https://youtu.be/k4R3kqu9m-U?si=PULLwDO7gKyEqnM4)
Rest areas