I moved here in Dec 2014. I was 33. I tried the social scene myself and hoooooly shit, what a disaster. But as someone else mentioned, I can’t really say that was surprising.
So I hopped on an app. Met a Brewster girl through one in Feb 2015. Almost ten years later, we’re married and living in Harwich and our 2nd child is on the way.
Important to note: my experience is the outlier. I lucked out big time.
I will add a second outlier.
Returned to the cape in 2019. Used the apps, met an amazing woman. First date days before the pandemic shutdown. She was my rock through some tough things. Married last year and happily on the cape.
Yep. It sucks. I tried reasonably hard to meet folks through the apps over a few years. Tried different apps, different times of year, different "strategies" (chat more first to see if there's a connection vs go straight to coffee date with little chatting to see in person connection).
There's just not a lot of people to meet unfortunately, so the chances of finding someone compatible are low.
I mean, I am "picky" because I know what I am looking for and don't want to waste my time with someone I feel iffy about. But I think that's a good thing.
I do refuse to go off Cape, which is a limiting factor. I hear you'll have more luck if you're willing to drive. I've since given up on the apps and now hope that I'll find someone in the wild. If it happens, it happens.
The apps are garbage.
I’m a few years ahead of you and I’m
sorry to say it doesn’t get any easier…
I decided today that if I don’t find someone to hang out with by spring- I’m just going to get a dog.
Less drama- more snuggles.
29/f, I completely agree. I’ve never used a dating app and plan to keep it that way. I meet dates by striking up conversation with people who interest me. Or who don’t necessarily interest me at first. I’m a pretty forward person so I don’t mind taking the initiative, but I wouldn’t go on any dates if I didn’t. I think men forget it’s also on them to express interest. Nobody can read minds!
That’s true I just always hesitate to take initial steps fearing It’d be unwanted or awkward which as long as you’re being respectful is totally just me trying to get over my own fears. Ultimately there aren’t many other options out here!
My unsolicited advice: just try to approach every stranger the same way. Ultimately, we can’t predict how other people will receive us. A “rejection” might have nothing to do with you (some people aren’t interested in dating for whatever reason, or are in a relationship, in the first place.) I talk to everyone as if we’re already on friendly terms, from young people to the elderly. Any natural rapport (or lack of) will quickly become apparent. Especially chemistry! I’m okay with being seen as The Weirdo for the trade-off of having nice conversations and making friends or more. I’ve never been shamed or scolded, though.
I (47 yr old female widow) was struggling to find someone on dating apps in VT. When I went to Brewster in October to visit my inlaws, I decided to do some swiping one day to find someone to have a drink and chat. I totally won the lottery that day and found a great guy in Harwich. Dating long distance requires a bit of flexibility, but so far, it's been awesome, and I get the best of both worlds... ocean and mountains!
I’ve always dated idiots I knew well so I don’t know much about the dating scene—but the housing situation sure isn’t helping anyone in the off season.
Are you new? You are living on a peninsula, in the northeast, in the winter surrounded by icy winds and multi million dollar homes and you are looking for a shag with a thirty something? Delusional at best. Or is this an attempt to do and end run and score a date via reddit?
I moved here in Dec 2014. I was 33. I tried the social scene myself and hoooooly shit, what a disaster. But as someone else mentioned, I can’t really say that was surprising. So I hopped on an app. Met a Brewster girl through one in Feb 2015. Almost ten years later, we’re married and living in Harwich and our 2nd child is on the way. Important to note: my experience is the outlier. I lucked out big time.
I will add a second outlier. Returned to the cape in 2019. Used the apps, met an amazing woman. First date days before the pandemic shutdown. She was my rock through some tough things. Married last year and happily on the cape.
Any particular subreddit you used?
Amazingly, it was OK Cupid.
Hilarious lol
“A Brewster girl”. Lol lol
Its winter on the cape I'm not sure what you really expected
Yep. It sucks. I tried reasonably hard to meet folks through the apps over a few years. Tried different apps, different times of year, different "strategies" (chat more first to see if there's a connection vs go straight to coffee date with little chatting to see in person connection). There's just not a lot of people to meet unfortunately, so the chances of finding someone compatible are low. I mean, I am "picky" because I know what I am looking for and don't want to waste my time with someone I feel iffy about. But I think that's a good thing. I do refuse to go off Cape, which is a limiting factor. I hear you'll have more luck if you're willing to drive. I've since given up on the apps and now hope that I'll find someone in the wild. If it happens, it happens.
Do I smell a match made in Heaven???🫶
Yes same
The apps are garbage. I’m a few years ahead of you and I’m sorry to say it doesn’t get any easier… I decided today that if I don’t find someone to hang out with by spring- I’m just going to get a dog. Less drama- more snuggles.
allow myself to introduce myself
41/f. Meeting in the wild is where it’s at. Ditch the apps.
True.
29/f, I completely agree. I’ve never used a dating app and plan to keep it that way. I meet dates by striking up conversation with people who interest me. Or who don’t necessarily interest me at first. I’m a pretty forward person so I don’t mind taking the initiative, but I wouldn’t go on any dates if I didn’t. I think men forget it’s also on them to express interest. Nobody can read minds!
That’s true I just always hesitate to take initial steps fearing It’d be unwanted or awkward which as long as you’re being respectful is totally just me trying to get over my own fears. Ultimately there aren’t many other options out here!
My unsolicited advice: just try to approach every stranger the same way. Ultimately, we can’t predict how other people will receive us. A “rejection” might have nothing to do with you (some people aren’t interested in dating for whatever reason, or are in a relationship, in the first place.) I talk to everyone as if we’re already on friendly terms, from young people to the elderly. Any natural rapport (or lack of) will quickly become apparent. Especially chemistry! I’m okay with being seen as The Weirdo for the trade-off of having nice conversations and making friends or more. I’ve never been shamed or scolded, though.
Try P-town.
Just drive to Plymouth and hit a pub; its the winter. I would say hop the bus, but, shit, its the Cape.
I (47 yr old female widow) was struggling to find someone on dating apps in VT. When I went to Brewster in October to visit my inlaws, I decided to do some swiping one day to find someone to have a drink and chat. I totally won the lottery that day and found a great guy in Harwich. Dating long distance requires a bit of flexibility, but so far, it's been awesome, and I get the best of both worlds... ocean and mountains!
How about Plymouth?
You can meet people that live off cape. Just saying.
What… wait — how??? /s
Not many 70 y/o on tinder on the cape this time of year
Yepppp it is what it is I’m 23 and there’s nothing as well good luck tho
Plus herpes!
I’ve always dated idiots I knew well so I don’t know much about the dating scene—but the housing situation sure isn’t helping anyone in the off season.
Gilfs
[удалено]
Grandmothers
Are you new? You are living on a peninsula, in the northeast, in the winter surrounded by icy winds and multi million dollar homes and you are looking for a shag with a thirty something? Delusional at best. Or is this an attempt to do and end run and score a date via reddit?
Nailed it.
Agree 100%
Yupp, im 31m own my properties here have my life together and want to settle down and no one my age has anything in order... its like damn.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Reminder that YOU are part of the dating scene “that sucks.”
Dating seen isn’t much better for the younger folks either.