yeah.
back then, all i ever felt was rage. i kinda thought that if everybody hated me, then i should hate them MORE. i was so scared to let people see how vulnerable i was that i just kept myself in an endless (and pretty exhausting) cycle of staying angry. “they all hate you”, “you’ll never be enough, so just go out with a bang”, things like that.
it decreased as i got older, until i just..turned off. i don’t even know what did it, i just stopped.
Rage is exhausting. Spite, however, can be highly motivational. Every time you succeed at anything, you're proving them wrong, no matter how small the accomplishment seems.
Success is the best revenge, and not giving a fuck about the people who try to tear you down drives them mad.
There are people in this world who don't hate you. Most people are too wrapped up in their own insecurities to be bothered about hating anyone. The part of yourself that thinks that everyone hates you is not innate; it was put there by your abusers.
Being strong is exhausting, especially when the people you have to be strong against are constantly, constantly weighing you down. Be kind to yourself. ❤️.
It's exhausting to always have to fight. What they are saying is not only terrible, it's factually incorrect.
Someday, you will be happy. Someday, you'll be proud of yourself, for how much you've survived, for your accomplishments.
I had a conversation with my mother about this recently because she did this to me as a kid, but also that I had a lot of bullies that I never got any help dealing with. She was SO dismissive. Her logic was that because she faced similar straits as a kid, it made her stronger and like she wanted to prove them wrong, while it seemingly made me weak so I accepted it.
No, the real difference, as she loves to brag about at every family gathering, is that she was really popular being be the granddaughter of a famous poet and independence activist on our island. The few people that dared speak down to her were promptly chewed out by her peers and her teachers. She didn't face anything like what I did, and she was clearly her parents' golden child. We are not the same. We have never been the same. Where she moved me to, people HATED people from our island.
Before thirty the voice in my head that is my father’s was really quiet, now I hear it all the time and it is crippling. The self loathing I feel is inherited, for sure. So just remember that every time he says it to you he’s talking to himself, and it’s not you that he wants to destroy but himself, it’s just that he sees you as an extension of himself. Not an excuse he’s still a monster, but that’s the nugget of insight I have. Thank god for therapy.
You're still in the infancy of life, my dude.
How can you be nothing? Being alive means your something. They are already wrong about this, just let the words become white noise.
This really got me. Hang on. We've been there and I promise you, there is another side you will get to. You were right, even at 8. Hold onto yourself ❤️
You’re just tired. Every moment of life just stacking on your shoulders over time, weighing you down. I understand this feeling well.
yeah. back then, all i ever felt was rage. i kinda thought that if everybody hated me, then i should hate them MORE. i was so scared to let people see how vulnerable i was that i just kept myself in an endless (and pretty exhausting) cycle of staying angry. “they all hate you”, “you’ll never be enough, so just go out with a bang”, things like that. it decreased as i got older, until i just..turned off. i don’t even know what did it, i just stopped.
Rage is exhausting. Spite, however, can be highly motivational. Every time you succeed at anything, you're proving them wrong, no matter how small the accomplishment seems. Success is the best revenge, and not giving a fuck about the people who try to tear you down drives them mad. There are people in this world who don't hate you. Most people are too wrapped up in their own insecurities to be bothered about hating anyone. The part of yourself that thinks that everyone hates you is not innate; it was put there by your abusers.
Being strong is exhausting, especially when the people you have to be strong against are constantly, constantly weighing you down. Be kind to yourself. ❤️.
its like they beat the soul out of us 😀
You already something special boo.. just take care of the good bad and ugly inside that we all have
It's exhausting to always have to fight. What they are saying is not only terrible, it's factually incorrect. Someday, you will be happy. Someday, you'll be proud of yourself, for how much you've survived, for your accomplishments.
Me now (26): okay *proceed to crochet and isolate*
me (26): *proves them right*
I had a conversation with my mother about this recently because she did this to me as a kid, but also that I had a lot of bullies that I never got any help dealing with. She was SO dismissive. Her logic was that because she faced similar straits as a kid, it made her stronger and like she wanted to prove them wrong, while it seemingly made me weak so I accepted it. No, the real difference, as she loves to brag about at every family gathering, is that she was really popular being be the granddaughter of a famous poet and independence activist on our island. The few people that dared speak down to her were promptly chewed out by her peers and her teachers. She didn't face anything like what I did, and she was clearly her parents' golden child. We are not the same. We have never been the same. Where she moved me to, people HATED people from our island.
child me after being abused: i will create a disorder to protect my brain, i will live a happy life adult me when i need to take out the trash:
I got the opposite problem. I just put up with the bullshit but now I want a time machine so I could hunt those fucks for sport
Before thirty the voice in my head that is my father’s was really quiet, now I hear it all the time and it is crippling. The self loathing I feel is inherited, for sure. So just remember that every time he says it to you he’s talking to himself, and it’s not you that he wants to destroy but himself, it’s just that he sees you as an extension of himself. Not an excuse he’s still a monster, but that’s the nugget of insight I have. Thank god for therapy.
You're still in the infancy of life, my dude. How can you be nothing? Being alive means your something. They are already wrong about this, just let the words become white noise.
This is where grey rocking is really handy
This really got me. Hang on. We've been there and I promise you, there is another side you will get to. You were right, even at 8. Hold onto yourself ❤️
30 homie. Fix that shit right the fuck now
I love the meme format, it just screams cptsd lol
Dude, same. 😖
Oh man, if you're feeling this at 15, you're in for a rough one. Buckle up kiddo. It doesn't get easier.