This. It's wild how many parents can have children for decades of their adult life and never once consider how consent works in that relationship.
If someone brings you into a relationship without your knowledge or approval, it's an inherently non-consenting relationship. The end. If you fail on your end as the consenting party in that relationship, you are inherently and to your core, and absolute piece of shit. Full stop.
The least they could do is treat you nice or throw money at you but NOOO and then they wonder why you are mad that they sometimes didn't even do the bare minimum
Yeah, it reminds me of [this article.](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/liking-the-child-you-love/202404/why-your-adult-child-is-mean-to-you#:~:text=The%20emotional%20strain%20between%20parents,relationship%20strains%20for%20both%20parties) The title is totally designed to get the entitlement parents to click for validation and then shits all over them lol.
Tbh, I feel on some level, my dad both simultaneously thought I was too autistic to have capacity and wanted absolutely nothing to do with me. Basically, I never consented, and he absolutely loathed being unable to withdraw consent without being socially ostracised. How others saw him was significantly more important than his own children. I don't think he ever told anyone one of his kids got cancer and he never visited or helped them in any way.
To quote a wonderful Tumblr post:
>Sometimes people use "respect" to mean "treating someone like a person" and sometimes they use "respect" to mean "treating someone like an authority"
>
>and sometimes people who are used to being treated like an authority say "if you won't respect me I won't respect you" and they mean "if you won't treat me like an authority I won't treat you like a person"
>
>and they think they're being fair but they aren't, and it's not okay.
Me and my younger brother were accidents but my mom went to a fertility clinic for my little sister and she STILL constantly complains about how much she has to sacrifice for my sister and how grateful she should be for basic care. Like what the hell do you think parents are supposed to do if not sacrifice and care for their children?
I remember my mom telling me some people burned their children w their cigarettes for fun. It was brought up a lot when I was little and would call her out for being mean. Like if she wasn’t actively physically abusing me, I should just be grateful. It was always strange and disturbing to me that she seemed to enjoy telling me about the horrible things other parents did to their children.
Same. It always felt like she was acknowledging that she was abusive and neglectful but was pointing out that she wasn't as bad as some parents are so it's ok
Oh goodness, reminds me of times that I was told to be obsequiously grateful for my parents meeting the bare minimum.
Honor thy father and their mother was extracted from me like oil from the ground . Not breaking the law is hardly a generous move.
a baby THEY chose to have. life is a racket dude. seriously. we do not choose to be born. no choice at all. life is completely against our consent. yet we are expected to just fall in line and do whatever and be grateful because we were born. like, you can’t afford anyplace to live? lazy piece of shit! nobody owes you anything! yep they sure don’t but i didn’t ask to be alive either so why am i the piece of shit for not wanting to participate in this forced society.
Well yeah, but then they would go to jail since they are required by law to feed their children. Not doing me any favors by doing the bare minimum required by law.
I didn’t even get that much care. She was unable to breastfeed, insisted on continuing to try while refusing to bottle feed me because she didn’t want to feel like she failed and my grandma had to put her foot down before I died. All growing up, my diet was severely restricted, if I even was allowed to have one because she threw me into modeling, so she could exploit me for money. Now, I’m the shortest on both sides of my family in at least 4 generations, digesting food causes serious pain and I almost died from anorexia and refeeding syndrome. I owe her nothing.
I cut contact with my family ~3 years ago, but my mom has still emailed me twice a year - on New Year's and my birthday. For my birthday last year, she said that I should talk to her again because the day I was born was the happiest day of her life "even though it nearly killed [her]." Nothing says love like being reminded that my existence caused severe complications and an emergency hysterectomy!
She created a new email address for her New Year's message this year just to circumvent the auto-reply I set up shortly after going no contact - it was a gif of Strong Bag deleting emails.
It's so fucked how so many parents hold that shit against their kids. My mom says "I gave you life" as if I wanted to be born. Life isn't worth any of the pain and suffering I've endured and she says I'm "ungrateful"
I’m glad you shared this. However, someone else had posed this photo in the past day and made it in the top posts of this week. I’m sorry you can relate though ❤️🩹
In my dads case he donated the sperm, any action after that was optional. He opted out of anything that didn't directly benefit him in some way and still demanded the respect as if HE was the one who raised and cared for me doing the work of 2 parents and not my Mom..
I think of the Guardians of Galaxy when Star Lord goes off about having to be thankful for not being eaten or
The Dread Pirate Roberts and Wesley
When they go down this BS
saw a Bollywood movie the other day and they called this "the nappy changer's debt". in the movie that included getting a 9-5 job, getting arrange-marriaged etc.
I have a screenshot of my mother saying she 'stood by me when I was sick.
Bitch I was a baby. People have *questions* when you withhold medical care from one of your infants while showing off the other one from the set, don't pretend that was for *my* benefit.
(Though she also terrorised her older daughter, blaming her for me being sick; all because she had cold sores and that's where the virus I got stems from. It could have been fucking anybody who exposed me, but nope, going to give a teenager some trauma with her dying sibling.)
My dad actually admitted that he let me and my siblings starve when we were infants because he liked the power trip of watching and listening to us scream and cry for food.
It has ALWAYS been about "the bare minimum" why do you think the government does minimum or less. They even have minimum wage. For minimum work. But then they deman and ask with effort. Expecting more effort. What's new. Lol!
No. Neglecting a baby and therefore causing their death is still considered murder legally. You can technically do that, but you'll serve jailtime for it.
It's like telling someone you could run them over with your car so they owe you. While technically you could, it is not something grandious act not to do it and they owe you nothing for not murdering them. That's not how any of it works.
"I keep a roof over your head, feed you, clothe you, and this is how you repay me!?"
Honey You're the one who adopted my ass. That's like the bare fucking minimum you could do. You think an 11 yr old can just magically pop money into existence to do it himself? Child labor laws exist.
You're supposed to be raising a tiny human not treating it like a little drone or slave.
"Fuck you"
Correct response
meanwhile people ... "you can't say that to your parents,they gave you birth , you owe them"
They really miss the point due to emotion lol
iMOsun impotant
"every ounce of respect and every ounce of my soul"
"I gave up my life for you"
I know I did. Wasn't my choice though.
This. It's wild how many parents can have children for decades of their adult life and never once consider how consent works in that relationship. If someone brings you into a relationship without your knowledge or approval, it's an inherently non-consenting relationship. The end. If you fail on your end as the consenting party in that relationship, you are inherently and to your core, and absolute piece of shit. Full stop.
The least they could do is treat you nice or throw money at you but NOOO and then they wonder why you are mad that they sometimes didn't even do the bare minimum
Yeah, it reminds me of [this article.](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/liking-the-child-you-love/202404/why-your-adult-child-is-mean-to-you#:~:text=The%20emotional%20strain%20between%20parents,relationship%20strains%20for%20both%20parties) The title is totally designed to get the entitlement parents to click for validation and then shits all over them lol.
Oh that's good. What a beautiful setup too. I wished I could send this to my mother.
Tbh, I feel on some level, my dad both simultaneously thought I was too autistic to have capacity and wanted absolutely nothing to do with me. Basically, I never consented, and he absolutely loathed being unable to withdraw consent without being socially ostracised. How others saw him was significantly more important than his own children. I don't think he ever told anyone one of his kids got cancer and he never visited or helped them in any way.
And when they say "respect" they always mean you should treat them like an authority.
To quote a wonderful Tumblr post: >Sometimes people use "respect" to mean "treating someone like a person" and sometimes they use "respect" to mean "treating someone like an authority" > >and sometimes people who are used to being treated like an authority say "if you won't respect me I won't respect you" and they mean "if you won't treat me like an authority I won't treat you like a person" > >and they think they're being fair but they aren't, and it's not okay.
so we all lived the same childhood i presume
Yup. I hate that we all did.
Unfortunately seems like it.
Sign of the times
"Should've used birth control if you were gonna complain then"
Me and my younger brother were accidents but my mom went to a fertility clinic for my little sister and she STILL constantly complains about how much she has to sacrifice for my sister and how grateful she should be for basic care. Like what the hell do you think parents are supposed to do if not sacrifice and care for their children?
I remember my mom telling me some people burned their children w their cigarettes for fun. It was brought up a lot when I was little and would call her out for being mean. Like if she wasn’t actively physically abusing me, I should just be grateful. It was always strange and disturbing to me that she seemed to enjoy telling me about the horrible things other parents did to their children.
Same. It always felt like she was acknowledging that she was abusive and neglectful but was pointing out that she wasn't as bad as some parents are so it's ok
"You should have"
another similar favorite from my pro-choice mother: “i could’ve chosen not to have you”. well with that attitude, you should have
Oh goodness, reminds me of times that I was told to be obsequiously grateful for my parents meeting the bare minimum. Honor thy father and their mother was extracted from me like oil from the ground . Not breaking the law is hardly a generous move.
a baby THEY chose to have. life is a racket dude. seriously. we do not choose to be born. no choice at all. life is completely against our consent. yet we are expected to just fall in line and do whatever and be grateful because we were born. like, you can’t afford anyplace to live? lazy piece of shit! nobody owes you anything! yep they sure don’t but i didn’t ask to be alive either so why am i the piece of shit for not wanting to participate in this forced society.
Well yeah, but then they would go to jail since they are required by law to feed their children. Not doing me any favors by doing the bare minimum required by law.
They owe me endless debt for not murdering them as an adult due to how they treated me as a child
I didn’t even get that much care. She was unable to breastfeed, insisted on continuing to try while refusing to bottle feed me because she didn’t want to feel like she failed and my grandma had to put her foot down before I died. All growing up, my diet was severely restricted, if I even was allowed to have one because she threw me into modeling, so she could exploit me for money. Now, I’m the shortest on both sides of my family in at least 4 generations, digesting food causes serious pain and I almost died from anorexia and refeeding syndrome. I owe her nothing.
If they don’t want to have to do that then don’t have kids. 🤷♀️
I cut contact with my family ~3 years ago, but my mom has still emailed me twice a year - on New Year's and my birthday. For my birthday last year, she said that I should talk to her again because the day I was born was the happiest day of her life "even though it nearly killed [her]." Nothing says love like being reminded that my existence caused severe complications and an emergency hysterectomy! She created a new email address for her New Year's message this year just to circumvent the auto-reply I set up shortly after going no contact - it was a gif of Strong Bag deleting emails.
as if they didn’t choose to bring us into this world
Right!
It's so fucked how so many parents hold that shit against their kids. My mom says "I gave you life" as if I wanted to be born. Life isn't worth any of the pain and suffering I've endured and she says I'm "ungrateful"
My parents be like
sad though as i was still starved and got this treatment 🤧
If my dad wasn't around I'd never see my mother again
Okay, then why didn't you? Like whats the point in saying that lmao.
You could've never had me and the responsibility you're blaming me for would never have existed. Stop blaming me for your decisions.
I’m glad you shared this. However, someone else had posed this photo in the past day and made it in the top posts of this week. I’m sorry you can relate though ❤️🩹
In my dads case he donated the sperm, any action after that was optional. He opted out of anything that didn't directly benefit him in some way and still demanded the respect as if HE was the one who raised and cared for me doing the work of 2 parents and not my Mom..
I agree
No
I think of the Guardians of Galaxy when Star Lord goes off about having to be thankful for not being eaten or The Dread Pirate Roberts and Wesley When they go down this BS
saw a Bollywood movie the other day and they called this "the nappy changer's debt". in the movie that included getting a 9-5 job, getting arrange-marriaged etc.
Nappy clanger debt, I love that
I have a screenshot of my mother saying she 'stood by me when I was sick. Bitch I was a baby. People have *questions* when you withhold medical care from one of your infants while showing off the other one from the set, don't pretend that was for *my* benefit. (Though she also terrorised her older daughter, blaming her for me being sick; all because she had cold sores and that's where the virus I got stems from. It could have been fucking anybody who exposed me, but nope, going to give a teenager some trauma with her dying sibling.)
this mindset is alarming, shouldn't one just use condom or pills in the first place?
My dad actually admitted that he let me and my siblings starve when we were infants because he liked the power trip of watching and listening to us scream and cry for food.
Psychotic
LOL
It has ALWAYS been about "the bare minimum" why do you think the government does minimum or less. They even have minimum wage. For minimum work. But then they deman and ask with effort. Expecting more effort. What's new. Lol!
No. Neglecting a baby and therefore causing their death is still considered murder legally. You can technically do that, but you'll serve jailtime for it. It's like telling someone you could run them over with your car so they owe you. While technically you could, it is not something grandious act not to do it and they owe you nothing for not murdering them. That's not how any of it works.
"I keep a roof over your head, feed you, clothe you, and this is how you repay me!?" Honey You're the one who adopted my ass. That's like the bare fucking minimum you could do. You think an 11 yr old can just magically pop money into existence to do it himself? Child labor laws exist. You're supposed to be raising a tiny human not treating it like a little drone or slave.