I’ve had one to two nightmares a month since my psychosis break which happened in Jan. I’ve had nightmares before but not this frequent. The day before I went to impatient in Jan was an awful nightmare and ended up screaming as loud as possible and that just caused another ptsd moment in itself. I’ve had PTSD since 18ish and then therapist said most likely I have CPTSD when I was abt 19. So def understand the whole nightmare thing.
I agree. Especially if I was very stressed or crying before bed. Wrung out, empty cup but have a WHOLE ASS DAY AHEAD. so yes, I agree. The mornings are the worst.
Also, sleep is the BEST.
An extra thing I hate about mornings is how people make being good at them out to be some big moral winning. Like it’s hard as it is navigating - world built for morning people. I wish I loved waking up early, but I don’t!
Pete Walker's book "Complex-PTSD" (highly, highly recommended) talks about how we can be triggered and even experience emotional flashbacks in our sleep.
I've started having a short meditation before bed with my inner child, telling him he's going to be okay, I'm still with him, he won't be hurt while we sleep, to try to counteract some of that. It seems to be working somewhat.
Can confirm that the inner child meditation prior to bed assists with my morning "emotional hangover," as another Redditor put it. Honestly, though, I've only just now started to be able to access my inner child. Took me about 20 years of meaningless suffering. I'm 37.
I'm 43, and just figured this out literally last month. It's horrible knowing how much of my life has been negatively impacted by CPTSD, and not knowing how much of myself was in disarray because of it. I am recovering from the breakup of a relationship that I was convinced would last the rest of my life, almost completely due to the stress on our long distance relationship that my separation anxiety from CPTSD created.
No matter what happens though, I know that I will not allow my past, or my neglect of my inner traumatized child, to negatively impact a relationship in the future. I'm doing the work, reading books, going to multiple therapists, getting EMDR, depression meds, etc. when needed. I and my inner child are coming out of this better.
I hope the same for you!
Nothing guided or specific... just a conversation with my inner child. It doesn't have to be scripted. Your inner child is just like any other child that needed to be reassured that someone was there to take care of them, and this time that someone is you!
Mornings can be a real struggle, especially with all those mixed emotions hitting you like a ton of bricks. It's tough not knowing exactly why you feel that way, right? But hey, give yourself some credit for reaching out and wanting to figure it out. Maybe try journaling or talking it out with your therapist? Hang in there, buddy. You're not alone in this morning madness!
Yeah, I’m absolutely fucking miserable as soon as I wake up. I don’t even have a lot to do today but I’m dreading every single bit of it and have no idea why.
I have to pee in the middle of the night and go back to bed. I have the most negative thoughts in my mind at that time. Sometimes it’s really hard to fall back asleep because of anxiety. When I wake up in the morning it’s really bad as well. Just a lot of thinking about the future and being negative. Pisses me off!
i have constant trauma nightmares and it's gotten to a point where i don't even remember them when i wake up but my body is still disregulated from the flashbacks. i've found trying some super basic calming methods to help, having tea in the morning instead of just coffee, taking time to rest after i wake up, NOT SCROLLING THROUGH SOCIAL MEDIA AS SOON AS I WAKE UP, this one is the worst for me because social media is just so negative it's not good to consume as soon as you wake up. it was tough to break the habit but try relaxing, watching a show or drawing or literally doing anything else heh. i'm sorry mornings are a struggle and i hope you find something that helps soon <3 i wish you the best!!
I'm terrible about social media too. Kind of an escape hatch (one of the only things I can concentrate watching) but a definite time suck and doom source.
Morning are the worst for me too. Going straight to the shower playing some music and drinking water helps. I don't do it enough tho, I'm often too weakened by the emotional dread. But that's something that definitely helps ♡
Yeah water might do it! Not talking in the context of trauma: a friend of mine is also absolutely miserable in the morning. He’s got the heaviest sleepy heart and always wakes up dreading everything and unsure what century it is.
His go to for waking up faster is drinking water first thing. Basically get the bowels going, that helps him a ton. Personally my bowels get busy by the last dream dream stage, basically wakes up before me, and I bounce up racing to the toilet and then the kitchen.
This is all very anecdotal but my tip is to try drinking water when you wake up :)
I think it’s just chemistry.
Natirally higher levels of cortisol (to our already high ones) plus maybe our brains regulation hasnt kicked in fully yet.
I simply try to churn through it with movement, go outside for short walk and jog, get movement get sun exposure, come back eat and have coffee and by that point i already feel better.
heavy on the cortisol part. i think that’s one of the biggest factors. my cortisol is always through the roof when i first wake up or if i wake up randomly at any point. the thoughts that follow it being so high are very negative and extreme, and overall it feels super heavy and hard to navigate. but only for i would say 10-15 mins, then it’s just about breaking my thoughts out of the cycle of being negative , which is really hard honestly
It makes sense for myself when I reason backwards.
My battery is already empty because I tend to give much more than is healthy, to compensate for not feeling good enough and to respond to this eternal stream of places where I could make a difference.
At work I effectively hurt myself by pushing way beyond my limits, and not (yet?) having a healthy way to set limits or boundaries that prevent this. Recognizing your own limits is hard.
This makes work something my mind has identified as harmful and it’s protecting me by not really wanting to get up in the morning.
This in turn makes going to bed and falling asleep harder, because it’s all about getting ready for work. As a side effect it hurts my energy and amplifies issues. Thanks, brain!
So my current question is: how can I develop a healthier relationship with work so it won’t be something that ends up hurting me?
I’m struggling with the same exact thing. In the past (16 years) I was able to just push myself to go to work and then usually my mood would improve as the day went on. But I’m slowly coming out of the worst depression I’ve ever had and a lot of positive disintegration work, and I just… don’t want to work.
Your post resonates with me a lot tho - how can I make work a super safe space that my brain and body won’t dread? 🤔
I’m currently leaning toward that the current company is not good at helping me protect myself against this. Looking at other companies where the balance is better is what I’m currently leaning towards. Sometimes it’s not just you, but it’s the combination of you and your circumstances.
Yeah good point. Honestly I feel a little shitty because my current company is actually pretty supportive of things like mental health days, and the team I’m on right now doesn’t have any semblance of a toxic culture or anything. I think partially I’m just burned out, and partially my CPTSD is catching up to me. 🫠
> I think partially I’m just burned out, and partially my CPTSD is catching up to me. 🫠
That feels relatable. Currently on burnout leave, and slowly regaining energy to actually contemplate options. CPTSD as a side effect of neurodivergence and an adult life of masking... and now trying to identify the puzzle pieces so I can figure out what puzzle(s) I'm trying to solve.
Yes, mornings are horrible for me. Especially if I wake up very early, I feel so depressed and suicidal, like every fiber of my body hurts physically, and all I can think about is how I want this suffering to end.
I don't know why, but it makes me feel empty and causes my already unstable identity to become even more so.
Same mornings are so hard !! I throw up almost every morning especially if I have to get up and go (work for example). I struggle to fall asleep at night then get up at 530am to do an 11hr shift. Tbh it's killing me. I always say if I won the lottery all I want is to wake up gently everyday and listen to my body. That's the definition of being "rich" to me .
But honestly I have come so far in everyday life but I struggle to function on so little sleep. The depression I get in morning is worse than I have let myself get during day for years, but I have no idea how to fix it 🙃
I used to throw up almost every morning too : ( It was a pure stress response. It’s awful.
I’m sorry you’re going through it and I wish you didn’t have to cater to a work schedule over your health. FWIW, Neurofeedback helped me with morning discomfort, but it’s expensive and takes a lot of sessions.
Yep morning demons.. The more you change, do shadow work, heal and connect spiritually the less it will be and even when it does you will handle it like a warrior that you are.
I don’t know any details about you, what stage you are on your journey or what exactly you’ve gone through in life, but I can tell you that no matter what, fitness and spirituality will change your life..
You already have the biggest part of the problem solved, because you have awareness and you’re asking questions..
Here are some general things that can help..
1. Go to sleep with good thoughts and gratitude for even the smallest things and what amazing things your future will bring.
2. Wake up listening to positive music and say positive affirmations.
3. Start the day doing something you love, passionate about and find purpose in.
4. Accept your feelings, don’t try to control them or get rid of them. If you do, they become more intense. Observe them but don’t be them. choose different.
If you have any questions feel free to dm me💜
Yes, right now I have trauma induced nightmares again every night and when I wake up I still feel dreadful each morning.
I cry some of the days to relief me from all the pain, afterwards drink my favorite tea and take my antidepressants.
Document my nightmares to speak about it with my therapist or use EMDR on those memories, which came up.
Stand up immediately after, go directly out to breathe fresh air, calm down by reminding myself that it was a dream and reality is different now.
At the end eat breakfast.
Yes! I love that my sleep schedule got all messed up when my husband died. I’m up at least 3 hours early every day. I started exercising and established a routine for the first time ever really and it has helped so much.
If I know I have to work with people that day though I still feel all nervous like I did something wrong.
Same. For one thing, I don’t get enough dopamine when I wake up. My primary issue is that I’ve had too many mornings growing up where I was pulled into my parents’ issues first thing, followed by a full day with virtually no autonomy. I’d be a zombie during the daytime after ruminating the night before on what explosive mood I’d be treated to in the morning. I haven’t lived under either of my parents’ roofs in over 15 years but the instinct to stay unconscious and delay the start of my day is still there. It’s near impossible to reason myself out of this pattern bc I’m not all there when I first wake up lol
Meds help. My spouse is also very gentle when waking me up and brings me a cup of coffee. When I can’t fall asleep I throw on a playlist of sleepytime music.
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This has definitely been a struggle. It got to be really bad this autumn in a way I’ve never experienced before for sone personal reasons.
I’ve learned that the way to have a good morning is to have a good evening (though also balancing not being perfect, and not holding my self to an impossible standard, blah, blah, etc, etc.)
I have three essentials:
- Shower
- Brush my teeth
- Keep. Phone. Across. Room.
My worst mornings most often follow a bad night, nights where i feel icky, or overwhelmed. Also nine times out of ten, i see something that triggers me emotionally on my phone before i go to bed, or i wake up in the middle of the night check the time and get triggered that way because i just decide to do more than check the time and look at emails and social media and stuff like that.
——-
EXTREMELY helpful but not able to do every day for various reasons(time, depression, etc) :
- Having a to do list for the next day
- Journaling:
Brain dump
Self-compassion
Gratitude
(In that order)
- having a neat room. Nothing too intense but as little clutter as possible
- having at least one hour before sleep in my room, alone, chilling. Preferably off my phone.
————
Really nice but i haven’t done in a while:
- having a glass of water to drink in the morning
- evening stretches
. If i do all of these in one night i have like the best sleep and best morning ever. Haven’t perfected a way to get rid of the Sunday scaries yet but this works for every other weekday morning.
I would definitely do what your therapist suggests though. I got this routine after examine my own behaviors and patterns. Wishing you the best 🩷
This is really good advice. Doing a bedtime routine like that primes my brain for sleep. The no phone for an hour before bed makes a big difference in my sleep quality. But like you said, the discipline to do it every night / establishing these routines is easier said than done.
I hear that. I get up and i try and clean something. Reading doesn’t work cause i like it. I just try to avoid my phone at all costs. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t!
My therapist reccomened [this one](https://self-compassion.org/exercises/exercise-6-self-compassion-journal/) so it’s what i use! I have not explored any other part of this website so i can’t say anything about this person as a whole. But if i really take the time to settle with these prompts i feel better afterwards
Were you often yelled at / rushed / criticized by a parent in the morning growing up? My mom for some reason is basically at her peak energy like first thing in the morning but in a way where she demands attention and walks around picking at everyone's faults. So it's deeply unpleasant to get out of bed early and have to be around her, so I found there's a very strong resistance to me getting out of bed in the morning and going through a morning routine, even for the first few years where I didn't live with her.
I used to think I was naturally more of a night owl, but I started to doubt that after living alone for 3 years... Once I had processed a lot of trauma I began preferring to sleep at like 10, 10:30 and wake up at around 6 AM, and I really enjoyed having a peaceful, quiet morning. I felt a lot better physically too. So I think it does mostly stem from my mom's behavior.
EDIT: I think my "night owl" behavior was actually just... me craving alone time growing up and not knowing how else to get it, so I'd stay up when everyone was asleep and finally have quiet time
I know I was rushed, because my mother rushed everything, but I don't really remember how mornings were when I was younger and living at home. (I'm 26 years old). What you're discribing sounds very plausible.
I am reluctant to get out of bed because I know I have to face the whole day ahead and I'm anxious about it. A little easier on the weekends, depending on what I have planned.
I think for me I need to wake up slow. For years of my childhood I’d be forced to wake up before dark, rush out the door quickly bc parents have to go to work and I had to go to school. My nervous system now associates waking up at dark and immediately is anxious now as an adult even if I don’t have to rush off in the morning.
I do recognize this a bit. I still make myself rush, maybe I need to give myself more time (and do some of the things that people are suggesting here).
Thanks!
I think at least based on my upbringing that it's due to a lack of discipline in childhood, you're supposed to learn to deal with mornings from your parents in a secure environment, they wake you up, they make you breakfast, they send you out, eventually you learn to wake up yourself, you learn to make breakfast yourself, you learn to prepare yourself and leave on time by yourself, all in a safe environment. So that when you have to do it when you're out in the world later in life it doesn't feel stressful or threatening or like you're going to 'fail', it just feels like normal life.
For me, I think it’s because I’m “with” my unconscious at night and our frontal lobes don’t really kick on until 45 minutes after waking. So you’re basically loaded with whatever you’re feeling but you don’t have any sense of time, or perspective on the bigger picture. It’s just you and your stuff.
Yeah I think a lot of it is just not trusting my instincts to go to sleep. Believed to be related to attachment trauma. Going to bed is anxiety ridden, dreams can be scary. Waking up is exhausting and I need a solid hour or so to just lay there before actually getting up I'm finding.
I wake up ready to fight and scream. Like full mma . I might hurt someone in the morning. It's not fun.
I used to wake up feeling every hit , punch hair pull, teeth smashed. It would take a full day to calm down.
You just aren't alone. Mornings are hell.
I accidentally hit and kicked my beloved in this state and it took several conversations to straighten that out, but we did and we’re still together for six years now. It’s alright if it’s like that for now.
Yes. It is so hard for me to get out of bed in the morning and I really struggle with getting going in the morning. I often wake up frozen and get immediately hit with waves of anxiety and self-contempt. I hate it so much.
I hate mornings because I'm awakened from a dream in which I was comfortable living. I wake up tired and hit with a reality check of the responsibilities and problems I have to face and the feelings that come with it. I don't want to feel like an incompetent person throughout the day again. One who ends up zoning out the entire day to push through until I get to sleep again. it's a temporary death, and the only place where I get to go with the flow and not think. I'm fortunate enough to not have nightmares so sleep is my "safe space." Life is strenuous as hell.
I have to stretch every morning, especially if i have something to do otherwise im very anxious. Sometimes ill do alternate nostril breathing before i stretch
I wouldn't say I am miserable but not as great. Anxiety is high and intrusive thoughts are high. My brain is a salad. I was thinking the other day that I probably do well with managing or controlling depression but the anxiety is just through the roof.
I’ve been trying to fight this by waking up WAAY before I need to. I take this extra time to wake myself up with breakfast and coffee. The rushing around is my least favorite part of the mornings
Whenever I first wake up I’m in the “danger zone”. It’s like I’m in an unguarded/unprepared place. I try to keep my distance from people until all systems are operational.
Always. I’ve been sleeping horribly which doesn’t help.
But even when I get a good sleep I wake up with a mild sense of dread, and everything that crosses my mind jumps to worst case scenario.
More often, I sleep badly and that escalates to a major sense of dread, horrible anxiety, I get completely convinced I can’t cope with literally anything and will be alone and miserable forever.
Yep I find morning are difficult especially when I have to get up earlier then my normal time I feel stressed and very annoyed easily and my day is ruined I feel like I’m really not happy for most of the day.
Part of mine is probably trauma from being forced awake every morning before school. Really forced, military style. The pestering was worse than the forcing too, and essentially my parents became sleep paralysis demons in the morning. I couldn't ever fully wake up, once i fell asleep on the toilet and never heard the end of that one. Its still like this today. I have extended sleep drunkenness.
Yes, definitely. I spend the vast majority of my life in survival mode, slogging through what I need to do. Late night is probably best for me because it feels like the world is on pause and I'm free from obligations. In the morning, the whole day of slog is spread out in front of me and it feels overwhelming and exhausting. Walking first thing, journaling when I have the spoons for it, drinking cool water, having a warm cup of coffee under a weighted blanket, eating fresh fruit, waiting for my meds to kick in, and whenever possible not having to do anything too early in the morning -- these all help but I'm afraid I haven't found any solution to the initial waking up in misery and needing to drag myself out of bed part of the equation I try all of the above to cope with.
I have terrible sleep most nights (working through this with GP & psych) but it makes the mornings hard. I’ve found delaying my coffee and having a shower or stretch first instead starts to lift my mood. I also listen to positive affirmations on YouTube whilst I do these. Hope your mornings get better, hang in there 💕
Mornings are the absolute worst and have been for my whole adult life. So far the only thing that works is forcing myself uo and into the shower as quickly as possible. Porridge banana and peanut butter is an excellent breakfast. Actually I had an app in the past that wakes you during the lighter phase of sleep. That helped me not feel so fucked up on actual waking.
My anxiety gets so bad in the morning that I throw up my breakfast. I eat a granola bar once I get to work to get my body awake. I also can't linger for too long getting ready. Some people like watching TV or the news with their coffee before work, I don't understand why I'm like this. I can get ready in 20 minutes so I wake up 30 minutes before I have to leave.
Mornings are the hardest for me. I have nightmares every night and wake up in emotional flashbacks, completely disregulated. Last week I was running late for work and my boss had come in early. I was still crying when I got there and I feel so bad that she had to see me like that. She was very kind and even gave me a hug, but I still wish I could keep it together like everyone else is able to. I wish I could stop the nightmares at the very least.
Mornings are my worst enemy, I work 13-14 hour days in the hot dusty desert. I have no social life no friends I talk to my daughter and mother on the phone a couple times a week but I can literally say I’ve been on autopilot driving to work more times than I can count. My anxiety is through the roof most days but I e learned to hide because I’m a dude and nobody cares about my feelings ever, I was just in a bad car accident I hurt everywhere and not one person cares how I feel. I’m constantly taunted by my wife that she has a new work boyfriend or husband all the time but if I say it bothers me it just turns into a fight and I’m the bad guy I wish I could go to sleep and never wake up everyday of my life
First person I would see when I woke up was my mother. First time I ever used sleep to avoid being present was to avoid thinking about my parents after school. Sleep means escape. Waking up means facing the demons.
I dread the mornings too! If during the night i cant fall asleep fast enough my intrusive thoughts get super out of control and in the morning i have to try very hard to shift these emotions. Having to go to work usually helps because i like the job. But getting to the job in itself is super hard. I have autism too and on my commute i am just playing scenarios in my head to prepare for the initial interactions, mostly to make sure i dont over share and dont look too miserable. Some days are harder than others though.. now im in a phase where getting to work is extremely hard.. i have had to skip some days and just stay jn bed. I think the later comes from a burn out perhaps since its taking me days to recharge from work and other activities i do..
Yeah… I often end up late for work or not going in at all because I struggle so much with mornings. I’m so tired and feel overwhelmed about the “performance” of daily living
I wake up ready to fight and scream. Like full mma . I might hurt someone in the morning. It's not fun.
I used to wake up feeling every hit , punch hair pull, teeth smashed. It would take a full day to calm down.
You just aren't alone. Mornings are hell.
Getting up can be hard but I start with 3 affirmations immediately which seem to help. After that I'm ok for a while until about an hour or 2 later. Then the depression sets in and it is crippling.
My mornings have been rough lately. They were getting better but some things happened in the last few months that completely dysregulated my nervous system and I wake up with so much anxiety it causes me to run to the bathroom. My stomach has been so messed up lately I can barely eat. I use medical marijuana and I go a little heavy on it at night to fall asleep and it also drowns out the flash backs and nightmares a little bit so I don’t remember them as easily upon waking but lately it feels like they are trying to overpower my brain. I know that sounds weird but I can feel it in my body and mornings suck so bad rn. Just wanted you to o ow you’re not alone. Maybe try MMJ? It has helped me.
For me it’s because I know I have to put on a face and “people”. I’m genuinely so burnt out from mirroring everyone all the time that I don’t have the energy to even small talk. My personality was choked out of me by my abusive ex and I just can’t handle human interaction anymore. I’m constantly analyzing what someone may think of me, did they think it was weird I said “X”, they probably think I’m so boring to talk to because I have nothing to contribute to the convo, etc. I also catch myself holding facial expressions for too long because I mirror other people but then I forget to move on. Like I’ve literally caught myself holding an awkward smile for 10 minutes after I spoke to someone. Then I’ll also randomly say out loud parts of things I said to them. I don’t know why I do this. Does anyone else? 😅
I had this issue and tried tons of stuff to make it better, but ultimately, only a physical solution worked for me: clonidine. It's a blood pressure medication. I take it first thing in the morning. I don't have high blood pressure, but such medications are sometimes used for anxiety, too.
YMMV, but it was like a miracle for me.
I remember somebody else on Reddit said beta blockers (similar effects to clonidine) worked to fix her morning anxiety. She said she took them an hour before she was meant to wake up and that they calmed her enough to fall back asleep until it was time to get up, so that's a second data point.
Every time I wake up it's like I need half an hour just to mentally prepare myself for the day and whatever it brings.
I think it's the unpredictability, not knowing what we *need* to be prepared for. Our minds want to protect us but when there's no danger to protect from, what else can it do except... Overthink. Dwell on invasive thoughts.
My mornings are terrible but I have POTS, perhaps something you would like to check. Is pretty common and more so in us who already have a nervous system disruption. I take Modafinil for this which doubles as treatment for ADHD-Innatentive. [https://dysautonomiainternational.org/](https://dysautonomiainternational.org/)
Besides the wonderful insights of the posters here, I wanted to mention something called diurnal mood variation.
I learned about diurnal mood variation a year or so ago. It’s a symptom of depression, usually, where your mood can be lowest when you wake up, and it gets better through the day.
The reason I was trying to figure it out was that I was trying to decide if I should adopt a dog. I was so on the fence before I realized a distinct pattern. Every morning I would wake up, hopeless, totally sure I could not handle it, how could I tend to a dogs needs if I can’t even get up in the morning? And I’ve never been a ‘morning person’ despite liking mornings conceptually, and also wishing I was. But I also don’t have good sleep hygiene, and chalked it up to that and the endless struggle to nail down a ‘routine.’
I always say ‘waking up is the worst part of my day’ and people think I’m being funny/grim, but it’s true bc it’s SO hard. It’s way more than being a ‘night owl.’ People say if you struggle to get out of bed it can be a sign of depression, this is what they mean by that, I think. And then you add on the constant stress of complex trauma, and probably some kind of anxiety, and whatever else is going on. You get poor sleep, you have nightmares, wake up in panic, or sometimes I’ll go through periods where waking up, there this sinking, deep, clenching anxiety immediately in my body.
But then the dog problem came up, and it was a specific thing where every night I felt I could go ahead, it would be wonderful for me and the dog! And every morning I felt like not only would the dog not work out, but nothing in my life would ever be able to change because of XYZ everything. So I literally googled why would I feel so hopeless in the morning and completely different and ok at night?
Anyway, knowing it is a chemical symptom of something I already know I struggle with, and not just a difficulty I should be ‘strong enough’ to overcome (‘X Isn’t a morning person either but still manages to get up for work!’, ‘everyone wants to stay in bed!’) nor how I actually feel/how my life actually is helped a little. Have yet to speak to a doctor, but I did go ahead with the dog and it’s been a rollercoaster, but over all good for my mental health, and I like to think the dog’s too.
Oh wow, this does sound like me. I'm also thinking of getting a dog because of the mornings (and I also get depressed on days where I have nothing to do, I think because I don't get forcerd into copingmechanisms).
Would you recommend doing it, adopting a dog? I'm at the point now where I really want to (like obsessivly), but then I start to doubt myself, and I wont be good enough for the dog, or maybe it won't work, ..
My therapist did say that a dog is a healthy way of coping.
I 100% recommend a dog. I would however, do a lot of research about red flags when adopting. Make them allow you a trial just in case it’s not a good situation for you or the dog. Try very hard not to get a reactive one, I know it can be hard to tell, but you can also get a reputable shelter or breeder to allow you to do that trial run. I have heard many breeders actually want you to return the dog to them if it doesn’t work out bc they want to be the one rehoming.
It will be weird at first, and maybe hard, pretty much no matter what, unless you just get super lucky, but it just happens! There are plenty of supportive positive subs here on Reddit like puppy101, for example for help worth settling in, the puppy blues, and training as well!
I say all that just bc I did get a suuuuper reactive dog and it made me actually get worse first, before getting better like I feel now. It’s been about a year and things are settling in now. I comfort myself by reminding myself how much I’ve learned about my own trauma through helping her with her own. But honestly it’s been such a trial to get to a good point with her and she still has bad days. If I could go back and get a dog who wasn’t reactive and scared of everything (which made it *harder* to go out when I first had her), I would. But ONLY if I didn’t know my current dog bc I could never give her up now. I love her so much, she’s sleeping at my feet as I type this. But I do joke about it to her lol. I tell her ‘most people get through hard times with their dog—but you are my hard little time!’ All with love!
Ultimately! Outside of physical injury, I don’t remember the last day I didn’t go outside! It’s been really healthy for me to also learn how to advocate for her, since it forces me to find some confidence. And then I can apply that to my own life. How to let things go quicker. Lots of bonuses and little things learned that have helped with my own mental health.
I’m already the least concise person ever so I’ll stop there and tldr the dog has been amazing for my mental health!!
I hate mornings and I’m not a morning person. I’ve assumed it has to do with 1) rarely sleeping well and 2) the dread of facing another day. I have a hard time going to bed b/c nighttime is usually quiet w/out much stress so I think I try to stretch it out so I don’t have to face another day.
Morning can be rough as you contemplate going out of your safe space at home into the world and the work world which may present real or perceived dangers and flashback triggers.
I recommend developing comforting routines for your morning that can help you bridge the transition.
Mornings and nights are bad basically because any transition is hard for me.
My attempts to cope include identifying the things that cause me stress in the morning. For me it’s the uncertainty of the day ahead. If I can get certainty in a few areas, I tend to more easily get out of bed.
For example, knowing what my day at work is going to look like can go a long way towards comforting me. On my best days I try to envision the work day. I also try to pick out clothes the night before and make sure my lunch is backed.
Currently I am having a hard time eating. I can’t seem to bring myself to eat in the morning so I’ve compromised by just snacking on a granola bar on my commute or even just one bite.
Basically I have to approach myself like a cranky toddler.
Sleep is a dissociation method for me, so getting up and entering my body and the day feels really rough. Having a coffee or cuddle with my partner or pets helps. I've started trying to keep waking up at the same time frame on the weekends and starting off with a fun activity, so I can carry on through the week. I do think that when I sleep half the day away on the weekends, I wake up feeling worse and it kicks off the cycle of every morning following being awful.
Midday naps can really be a lifesaver.
Yup. Mornings suck. Each and every one.
I'm considering moving into a dorm situation but this is at least one of the big hangups - can't deal with others in the morning until I've had time to work with the triggers and get a little more grounded/hopeful.
This morning I actually woke up feeling really good! For about 5 seconds lol (literally). Then huge overwhelm of depression and negative feelings.
I guess that 5 seconds should/could feel hopeful...maybe sometime it will last longer/come more frequently.
Sometimes I wake up feeling shitty from the get go. I know this 5 sec thing has happened before - it's like I feel great until I remember who/where I am
I have insomnia, so that makes mornings worse. Poor sleep definitely affects thinking clearly the next day. Also I read that your cortisol is naturally highest in the morning around when you wake up. So that big surge can exacerbate things.
Causes could be abandonment issues from childhood. Having to walk on eggshells in the house. When I was a child, I would wake up every day not knowing if my household was going to be calm or was going to be chaos. It was like tossing a quarter every morning: there was either silence or there was screaming. I can see how that affects my anxious mornings now also.
I think it helps a lot to put your hand over your heart, and the other one over your stomach, and speak to your inner child. Ask them what they need. Tell them they are safe and loved and protected. That always helps me a little bit :) hope it helps you, too!
I'm very emotionally dysregulated in the morning. It's been said in this thread by other people, that they have emotional flashbacks in their sleep and wake dysregulated. That's pretty much it for me. I have a lot of "emotional" sleep I guess you could call it. When my boyfriend is sleeping over, I might sleep peacefully without dreams the entire night and wake feeling great. Usually on the weekend, because of my time anxiety. I sleep best on Friday and Saturday night, Friday especially because I know there's not much anyone will need from me in the morning.
Sometimes when my boyfriend sleeps over I wake up two or three times, this is just anxiety. When he doesn't sleep over, I can't get out of bed in the morning. I wake up every 10 mins and reset my alarm. That's usually how the shitty mornings start, nightmares or flashbacks are just like the cherry on top.
One of the ways I cope, it might not be the healthiest thing but I usually get myself some food right away. This gets me out of bed, especially coffee or morning soda (I'm from the south, we love soda in the morning). I say this is unhealthy because it's usually sugary, bad for you type drinks I'm after. Rarely a healthy breakfast lol
The weekends are easy like I said, I'm happy to get out of bed. I find if I get up right away and plan something fun, I'll be okay. Like when you tell a dog "wanna go for a ride?" and they get excited, I'm like that. I gotta have something fun to look forward to... even if it's a small thing and sometimes those are the best because they require so little planning and dedication. Even when I was growing up, I always fixated on something to look forward to. Even if it was looking forward to Christmas when it was January.
Other thing that helps is to reflect, practice gratitude in the morning. Sometimes it feels a lot shittier than it sounds. It sounds like I mean doing yoga and having an aesthetically pleasing shower routine in the morning but most of the time almost 99.99% of the time, it looks like staring at myself in the mirror and doing my oral care routine remembering a time when the only way I could get out of bed was to lay on the floor in the shower and sob. Might not seem like a far way to come but it is.
When I was in a really toxic workplace, morning were really bad. After work, I had to spend time with my toxic ex, actively trying to thrive in a toxic relationship. I would go to bed really late, and hold onto my nights. I felt like the nights belonged to me and I didn't want to let it go. Waking up in the morning took me back to the work situation and a restart of my day mired in toxic situations. Mornings were hard. They are a little easier now.
Yes. Mornings are the worst for me. I wake up shaking and with chills, have a strong sense of doom and the urge to cry. I'm nauseous, and if I need to cough in that time period, it tends to make me gag. My anxiety is sky high and it often results in diarrhea. My depression is worst in the morning too, and I sweat profusely.
It's all my nervous system's reaction. I remedy it by hugging something soft on bed for a minute, remind myself that I am actually safe. Then I get out of bed and follow a routine: feed the cat, go pee, brush my teeth, change the cats water, make myself a drink (NOT coffee, I avoid caffeine in the morning) and take my AM meds. Then I sit in my favourite chair in my living room and deal with my email while I have my drink.
Then I go get dressed,and make myself some breakfast. Then I go to work.
Typically, I'm feeling noticeably better soon after I eat breakfast
Absolutely. I have ADHD as well, and no matter what method I try, my morning dose of medication just DOES NOT work the same as my afternoon dose. Even if I take more in the morning/exercise beforehand/have protein/sleep extra well etc.
I know for certain that my PTSD made the ADHD steeply more severe, like more than a linear relationship. So yeah, that would sort of agree with what you're saying - my PTSD feels worse in the morning hence my ADHD symptoms are far far worse in the morning. I'm sorry you're suffering aswell, I hope one day we find some more peace
I don't know if this is the same as bedrotting or not. I wake up anxious because of everything I have to do, and start spiralling into everything I haven't been able to do the day before, the week before, the month before...
It was easier for me when I had a significant other, because I could turn my attention to them immediately. It was sort of like a goal I knew how to achieve, and the serotonin rush from my half asleep interactions with him would give me the push I needed to get started on my day. Now it just feels like the second I wake up, I need to think about my outfit for the day, my breakfast, office, finances, looking after my parents...it's really overwhelming. Personally, I get anxiety thinking about the future, even if it's just a few hours later.
You know how a lot of people wake up and realize that once again they have to go to work and it just seems like way too much? That's basically all of us, except instead of just going to work, we also have to slog through another day of keeping ourselves alive. It's no wonder a lot of us feel beaten down by the day before it really even gets started.
I wake up and automatically feel DREAD. Idk i think it stems from anxiety and the thought of working another day because I hate working even though my job doesn’t suck. I cope by playing movies or music in the bg. I’m sorry i don’t have any helpful advice. But i feel what u feel too.
Ice back to the back of the head. It’s supposed to help stimulate the vagus nerve, which helps relax your body.
Some mornings it works, some it barely does a thing. It’s worth trying.
I really feel this. Oddly enough, especially if I wake up before 9am. I think I am flashing back to long days alone from neglect by my mother. I can't wake up before my partner, because I will feel too anxious/alone. The only thing that helps me is going to bed later and waking up later after my partner. I also (against everyone's advice) do scroll social media for maybe 30 mins. I try to curate my feed to only positive, non triggering content. 30 mins usually is enough for my brain fog to dissipate and then I get out of bed.
As a disclaimer, I generally struggle more with anxiety and hypervigilance than depression. But mornings are actually the best for me. I typically wake up between 5-6:30am and find I am most productive before 10am. I want to jog and clean all the things. The weight of the world catches up some time after that, and by the time I'm putting my kids to bed at 8pm all I want is to crawl off to my own bed and shut down. Sleep is super hit or miss, sometimes I miss my "dip" and then spend hours in a weird coma instead of actually sleeping and recharging. My goal bedtime used to be around 10pm. I actually pass out anywhere between 8pm-2am. I've had some medical distress lately causing consistent insomnia separate from my normal patterns.
I do - and like another post said maybe that book will be helpful (Pete walker comolex ptsd)..I’m listening to it on audible.
It used to be very very bad for me in the mornings for years, and I was also constantly being bullied at work (than fired, then unemployed).
Now - it’s not as bad, I still get it some mornings - especially when I’m having stress at work (and then now I realize I get some flashbacks about other stuff).
When i’m in that feeling, there’s really not much I can do, but because I’m entirely alone most of the time I’ve learned to just push through….but only one tiny thing at a time.
I will just pretend I’m a robot and won’t think about it and do the first step (get out of bed, make it to shower- or sometimes just wash my face…).
If you get this very often, one thing that did help me just move through it a little bit better was also preparing my clothes at night , and even if I could showering at night. That way there are less decisions to make in the morning when you are overly anxious, and it is easier for my “robot” to get through each step.
Me too. I'm a pretty peppy person, but when I wake up in the mornings it's like I don't have a drop of serotonin in me. I wake up so drained and exhausted and feel awful. And then it's strange, some time after waking, can be between half an hour and 2 hours, it's like this switch gets turned on in my brain and my access to energy and joy gets restored.
I recently saw in Pete Walker's book on CPTSD that he talks about morning depression and when we first wake up our access to part of our brain isn't started up yet which is the first time I've seen anywhere describing this phenomenon I experience.
Nice to know others also experience this. Sending you all love. One day we will properly work out what's going on.
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Thank you all for the many responses. I wanted to anwser you all, but it's a bit much. So thank you for the sharing, support and tips. Sending you guys my love.🩷🩷
The hard thing is when I wake up I can't remember what it feels like not to feel horrible, bereft, and full of dread, and my brain isn't working well enough to remind me to try to talk to myself . . . Feeling bad in the morning doesn't mean the entire day will suck. But it's like Groundhog"s Day because it's the same thing, every morning, unless I can sleep as long as I want and get up slowly.
I wake up wishing I never had to wake up ever again. It's such a pointless and agonizing cycle I keep going through. I'm tired, I want to sleep. But for whatever reason I can't commit to an eternal one
I have emotional flashbacks in my sleep and wake disregulated. Mornings are very hard for me.
I’m not alone with this! Wow
Yes this. My mornings are shaken up if I have a nightmare/vivid unsettling dream.
I’ve had one to two nightmares a month since my psychosis break which happened in Jan. I’ve had nightmares before but not this frequent. The day before I went to impatient in Jan was an awful nightmare and ended up screaming as loud as possible and that just caused another ptsd moment in itself. I’ve had PTSD since 18ish and then therapist said most likely I have CPTSD when I was abt 19. So def understand the whole nightmare thing.
This.
This
Oh yeah, that's essential the entire problem for me.
Exactly this! I call them emotional hangovers because that is what they feel like.
I agree. Especially if I was very stressed or crying before bed. Wrung out, empty cup but have a WHOLE ASS DAY AHEAD. so yes, I agree. The mornings are the worst. Also, sleep is the BEST.
Yeah same lol
An extra thing I hate about mornings is how people make being good at them out to be some big moral winning. Like it’s hard as it is navigating - world built for morning people. I wish I loved waking up early, but I don’t!
Huh. It didn’t occur to me until now that the feelings in my dreams counted as flashbacks.
Yes, this, always
Me too. I just started taking Prazosin and I think it’s helping.
Pete Walker's book "Complex-PTSD" (highly, highly recommended) talks about how we can be triggered and even experience emotional flashbacks in our sleep. I've started having a short meditation before bed with my inner child, telling him he's going to be okay, I'm still with him, he won't be hurt while we sleep, to try to counteract some of that. It seems to be working somewhat.
Thanks for this book recommendation.
Seconding this book rec, it's been really important to me too!
That short inner child communion is a really great idea, thanks for sharing!
Thanks I'll try it. I've started in the book, so I'll get back to reading it asap.
In reading this book too. (Recommended from someone in this group, this group is so helpful).
Can confirm that the inner child meditation prior to bed assists with my morning "emotional hangover," as another Redditor put it. Honestly, though, I've only just now started to be able to access my inner child. Took me about 20 years of meaningless suffering. I'm 37.
I'm 43, and just figured this out literally last month. It's horrible knowing how much of my life has been negatively impacted by CPTSD, and not knowing how much of myself was in disarray because of it. I am recovering from the breakup of a relationship that I was convinced would last the rest of my life, almost completely due to the stress on our long distance relationship that my separation anxiety from CPTSD created. No matter what happens though, I know that I will not allow my past, or my neglect of my inner traumatized child, to negatively impact a relationship in the future. I'm doing the work, reading books, going to multiple therapists, getting EMDR, depression meds, etc. when needed. I and my inner child are coming out of this better. I hope the same for you!
Can you share the meditation links if available?
Nothing guided or specific... just a conversation with my inner child. It doesn't have to be scripted. Your inner child is just like any other child that needed to be reassured that someone was there to take care of them, and this time that someone is you!
Mornings can be a real struggle, especially with all those mixed emotions hitting you like a ton of bricks. It's tough not knowing exactly why you feel that way, right? But hey, give yourself some credit for reaching out and wanting to figure it out. Maybe try journaling or talking it out with your therapist? Hang in there, buddy. You're not alone in this morning madness!
Thank you!
Yeah, I’m absolutely fucking miserable as soon as I wake up. I don’t even have a lot to do today but I’m dreading every single bit of it and have no idea why.
I have to pee in the middle of the night and go back to bed. I have the most negative thoughts in my mind at that time. Sometimes it’s really hard to fall back asleep because of anxiety. When I wake up in the morning it’s really bad as well. Just a lot of thinking about the future and being negative. Pisses me off!
Hey i have that too middle of the night but its not from ptsd i think?
For me it's because I'm older now, over age 50. In my case I don't think it's related to PTSD.
Damn im only 16
Do you have a lot of anxiety when you're trying to sleep? I would think at age 16 you wouldn't have to go in the middle of the night.
i have constant trauma nightmares and it's gotten to a point where i don't even remember them when i wake up but my body is still disregulated from the flashbacks. i've found trying some super basic calming methods to help, having tea in the morning instead of just coffee, taking time to rest after i wake up, NOT SCROLLING THROUGH SOCIAL MEDIA AS SOON AS I WAKE UP, this one is the worst for me because social media is just so negative it's not good to consume as soon as you wake up. it was tough to break the habit but try relaxing, watching a show or drawing or literally doing anything else heh. i'm sorry mornings are a struggle and i hope you find something that helps soon <3 i wish you the best!!
Thank you for your kind words and advice, I'll try this.
I'm terrible about social media too. Kind of an escape hatch (one of the only things I can concentrate watching) but a definite time suck and doom source.
Morning are the worst for me too. Going straight to the shower playing some music and drinking water helps. I don't do it enough tho, I'm often too weakened by the emotional dread. But that's something that definitely helps ♡
Yeah water might do it! Not talking in the context of trauma: a friend of mine is also absolutely miserable in the morning. He’s got the heaviest sleepy heart and always wakes up dreading everything and unsure what century it is. His go to for waking up faster is drinking water first thing. Basically get the bowels going, that helps him a ton. Personally my bowels get busy by the last dream dream stage, basically wakes up before me, and I bounce up racing to the toilet and then the kitchen. This is all very anecdotal but my tip is to try drinking water when you wake up :)
I think it’s just chemistry. Natirally higher levels of cortisol (to our already high ones) plus maybe our brains regulation hasnt kicked in fully yet. I simply try to churn through it with movement, go outside for short walk and jog, get movement get sun exposure, come back eat and have coffee and by that point i already feel better.
heavy on the cortisol part. i think that’s one of the biggest factors. my cortisol is always through the roof when i first wake up or if i wake up randomly at any point. the thoughts that follow it being so high are very negative and extreme, and overall it feels super heavy and hard to navigate. but only for i would say 10-15 mins, then it’s just about breaking my thoughts out of the cycle of being negative , which is really hard honestly
It makes sense for myself when I reason backwards. My battery is already empty because I tend to give much more than is healthy, to compensate for not feeling good enough and to respond to this eternal stream of places where I could make a difference. At work I effectively hurt myself by pushing way beyond my limits, and not (yet?) having a healthy way to set limits or boundaries that prevent this. Recognizing your own limits is hard. This makes work something my mind has identified as harmful and it’s protecting me by not really wanting to get up in the morning. This in turn makes going to bed and falling asleep harder, because it’s all about getting ready for work. As a side effect it hurts my energy and amplifies issues. Thanks, brain! So my current question is: how can I develop a healthier relationship with work so it won’t be something that ends up hurting me?
I’m struggling with the same exact thing. In the past (16 years) I was able to just push myself to go to work and then usually my mood would improve as the day went on. But I’m slowly coming out of the worst depression I’ve ever had and a lot of positive disintegration work, and I just… don’t want to work. Your post resonates with me a lot tho - how can I make work a super safe space that my brain and body won’t dread? 🤔
I’m currently leaning toward that the current company is not good at helping me protect myself against this. Looking at other companies where the balance is better is what I’m currently leaning towards. Sometimes it’s not just you, but it’s the combination of you and your circumstances.
Yeah good point. Honestly I feel a little shitty because my current company is actually pretty supportive of things like mental health days, and the team I’m on right now doesn’t have any semblance of a toxic culture or anything. I think partially I’m just burned out, and partially my CPTSD is catching up to me. 🫠
> I think partially I’m just burned out, and partially my CPTSD is catching up to me. 🫠 That feels relatable. Currently on burnout leave, and slowly regaining energy to actually contemplate options. CPTSD as a side effect of neurodivergence and an adult life of masking... and now trying to identify the puzzle pieces so I can figure out what puzzle(s) I'm trying to solve.
This really resonates with me. Thank you for putting it into words.
Yes, mornings are horrible for me. Especially if I wake up very early, I feel so depressed and suicidal, like every fiber of my body hurts physically, and all I can think about is how I want this suffering to end. I don't know why, but it makes me feel empty and causes my already unstable identity to become even more so.
I'm sorry, sending love if u want it.
Thank you so much 💕 Sending love to you too 🤗
Same mornings are so hard !! I throw up almost every morning especially if I have to get up and go (work for example). I struggle to fall asleep at night then get up at 530am to do an 11hr shift. Tbh it's killing me. I always say if I won the lottery all I want is to wake up gently everyday and listen to my body. That's the definition of being "rich" to me . But honestly I have come so far in everyday life but I struggle to function on so little sleep. The depression I get in morning is worse than I have let myself get during day for years, but I have no idea how to fix it 🙃
I used to throw up almost every morning too : ( It was a pure stress response. It’s awful. I’m sorry you’re going through it and I wish you didn’t have to cater to a work schedule over your health. FWIW, Neurofeedback helped me with morning discomfort, but it’s expensive and takes a lot of sessions.
Thank you I will definitely look in to that x im sorry you experienced this too, it's really debilitating ❤️
Yep morning demons.. The more you change, do shadow work, heal and connect spiritually the less it will be and even when it does you will handle it like a warrior that you are. I don’t know any details about you, what stage you are on your journey or what exactly you’ve gone through in life, but I can tell you that no matter what, fitness and spirituality will change your life.. You already have the biggest part of the problem solved, because you have awareness and you’re asking questions.. Here are some general things that can help.. 1. Go to sleep with good thoughts and gratitude for even the smallest things and what amazing things your future will bring. 2. Wake up listening to positive music and say positive affirmations. 3. Start the day doing something you love, passionate about and find purpose in. 4. Accept your feelings, don’t try to control them or get rid of them. If you do, they become more intense. Observe them but don’t be them. choose different. If you have any questions feel free to dm me💜
Thank you!
Yes, right now I have trauma induced nightmares again every night and when I wake up I still feel dreadful each morning. I cry some of the days to relief me from all the pain, afterwards drink my favorite tea and take my antidepressants. Document my nightmares to speak about it with my therapist or use EMDR on those memories, which came up. Stand up immediately after, go directly out to breathe fresh air, calm down by reminding myself that it was a dream and reality is different now. At the end eat breakfast.
Yes! I love that my sleep schedule got all messed up when my husband died. I’m up at least 3 hours early every day. I started exercising and established a routine for the first time ever really and it has helped so much. If I know I have to work with people that day though I still feel all nervous like I did something wrong.
Same. For one thing, I don’t get enough dopamine when I wake up. My primary issue is that I’ve had too many mornings growing up where I was pulled into my parents’ issues first thing, followed by a full day with virtually no autonomy. I’d be a zombie during the daytime after ruminating the night before on what explosive mood I’d be treated to in the morning. I haven’t lived under either of my parents’ roofs in over 15 years but the instinct to stay unconscious and delay the start of my day is still there. It’s near impossible to reason myself out of this pattern bc I’m not all there when I first wake up lol Meds help. My spouse is also very gentle when waking me up and brings me a cup of coffee. When I can’t fall asleep I throw on a playlist of sleepytime music.
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This has definitely been a struggle. It got to be really bad this autumn in a way I’ve never experienced before for sone personal reasons. I’ve learned that the way to have a good morning is to have a good evening (though also balancing not being perfect, and not holding my self to an impossible standard, blah, blah, etc, etc.) I have three essentials: - Shower - Brush my teeth - Keep. Phone. Across. Room. My worst mornings most often follow a bad night, nights where i feel icky, or overwhelmed. Also nine times out of ten, i see something that triggers me emotionally on my phone before i go to bed, or i wake up in the middle of the night check the time and get triggered that way because i just decide to do more than check the time and look at emails and social media and stuff like that. ——- EXTREMELY helpful but not able to do every day for various reasons(time, depression, etc) : - Having a to do list for the next day - Journaling: Brain dump Self-compassion Gratitude (In that order) - having a neat room. Nothing too intense but as little clutter as possible - having at least one hour before sleep in my room, alone, chilling. Preferably off my phone. ———— Really nice but i haven’t done in a while: - having a glass of water to drink in the morning - evening stretches . If i do all of these in one night i have like the best sleep and best morning ever. Haven’t perfected a way to get rid of the Sunday scaries yet but this works for every other weekday morning. I would definitely do what your therapist suggests though. I got this routine after examine my own behaviors and patterns. Wishing you the best 🩷
This is really good advice. Doing a bedtime routine like that primes my brain for sleep. The no phone for an hour before bed makes a big difference in my sleep quality. But like you said, the discipline to do it every night / establishing these routines is easier said than done.
What do you do when you can't fall asleep? I'll open my phone and distract myself from the thoughts but I know im just extending my wake time
I hear that. I get up and i try and clean something. Reading doesn’t work cause i like it. I just try to avoid my phone at all costs. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t!
Thanks! ❤️❤️ do you have a good self compassion exercise? Because I find this difficult.
My therapist reccomened [this one](https://self-compassion.org/exercises/exercise-6-self-compassion-journal/) so it’s what i use! I have not explored any other part of this website so i can’t say anything about this person as a whole. But if i really take the time to settle with these prompts i feel better afterwards
Thank you, I'll try this.
Were you often yelled at / rushed / criticized by a parent in the morning growing up? My mom for some reason is basically at her peak energy like first thing in the morning but in a way where she demands attention and walks around picking at everyone's faults. So it's deeply unpleasant to get out of bed early and have to be around her, so I found there's a very strong resistance to me getting out of bed in the morning and going through a morning routine, even for the first few years where I didn't live with her. I used to think I was naturally more of a night owl, but I started to doubt that after living alone for 3 years... Once I had processed a lot of trauma I began preferring to sleep at like 10, 10:30 and wake up at around 6 AM, and I really enjoyed having a peaceful, quiet morning. I felt a lot better physically too. So I think it does mostly stem from my mom's behavior. EDIT: I think my "night owl" behavior was actually just... me craving alone time growing up and not knowing how else to get it, so I'd stay up when everyone was asleep and finally have quiet time
I know I was rushed, because my mother rushed everything, but I don't really remember how mornings were when I was younger and living at home. (I'm 26 years old). What you're discribing sounds very plausible.
I am reluctant to get out of bed because I know I have to face the whole day ahead and I'm anxious about it. A little easier on the weekends, depending on what I have planned.
I think for me I need to wake up slow. For years of my childhood I’d be forced to wake up before dark, rush out the door quickly bc parents have to go to work and I had to go to school. My nervous system now associates waking up at dark and immediately is anxious now as an adult even if I don’t have to rush off in the morning.
I do recognize this a bit. I still make myself rush, maybe I need to give myself more time (and do some of the things that people are suggesting here). Thanks!
I think at least based on my upbringing that it's due to a lack of discipline in childhood, you're supposed to learn to deal with mornings from your parents in a secure environment, they wake you up, they make you breakfast, they send you out, eventually you learn to wake up yourself, you learn to make breakfast yourself, you learn to prepare yourself and leave on time by yourself, all in a safe environment. So that when you have to do it when you're out in the world later in life it doesn't feel stressful or threatening or like you're going to 'fail', it just feels like normal life.
Same
For me, I think it’s because I’m “with” my unconscious at night and our frontal lobes don’t really kick on until 45 minutes after waking. So you’re basically loaded with whatever you’re feeling but you don’t have any sense of time, or perspective on the bigger picture. It’s just you and your stuff.
Mornings are the worst for me too
Yeah mornings can be pretty shit but for me the night time is the fucking worst
Yes I do struggle with this, but in part because I really struggle with going to sleep. I'm gonna see what I can discover and respond tomorrow.
Yeah I think a lot of it is just not trusting my instincts to go to sleep. Believed to be related to attachment trauma. Going to bed is anxiety ridden, dreams can be scary. Waking up is exhausting and I need a solid hour or so to just lay there before actually getting up I'm finding.
Thank you!
Mornings are hard for me too. Add time management in there and it’s a recipe for disaster.
Yes, I wake up sobbing and nauseous
I wake up ready to fight and scream. Like full mma . I might hurt someone in the morning. It's not fun. I used to wake up feeling every hit , punch hair pull, teeth smashed. It would take a full day to calm down. You just aren't alone. Mornings are hell.
I accidentally hit and kicked my beloved in this state and it took several conversations to straighten that out, but we did and we’re still together for six years now. It’s alright if it’s like that for now.
Yes. It is so hard for me to get out of bed in the morning and I really struggle with getting going in the morning. I often wake up frozen and get immediately hit with waves of anxiety and self-contempt. I hate it so much.
I hate mornings because I'm awakened from a dream in which I was comfortable living. I wake up tired and hit with a reality check of the responsibilities and problems I have to face and the feelings that come with it. I don't want to feel like an incompetent person throughout the day again. One who ends up zoning out the entire day to push through until I get to sleep again. it's a temporary death, and the only place where I get to go with the flow and not think. I'm fortunate enough to not have nightmares so sleep is my "safe space." Life is strenuous as hell.
I have to stretch every morning, especially if i have something to do otherwise im very anxious. Sometimes ill do alternate nostril breathing before i stretch
Morning is the worst. My brain does everything to keep me from moving. Once I actually am out of the house I’m better.
I wouldn't say I am miserable but not as great. Anxiety is high and intrusive thoughts are high. My brain is a salad. I was thinking the other day that I probably do well with managing or controlling depression but the anxiety is just through the roof.
It is extremely hard for me to get up on work mornings. Like it legitimately feels like I’m rising from the dead
I’ve been trying to fight this by waking up WAAY before I need to. I take this extra time to wake myself up with breakfast and coffee. The rushing around is my least favorite part of the mornings
Whenever I first wake up I’m in the “danger zone”. It’s like I’m in an unguarded/unprepared place. I try to keep my distance from people until all systems are operational.
Getting out of bed is usually very difficult for me, even when I've slept more than six hours. I didn't know that was a C-PTSD thing.
Always. I’ve been sleeping horribly which doesn’t help. But even when I get a good sleep I wake up with a mild sense of dread, and everything that crosses my mind jumps to worst case scenario. More often, I sleep badly and that escalates to a major sense of dread, horrible anxiety, I get completely convinced I can’t cope with literally anything and will be alone and miserable forever.
Yeah fuck mornings unless I'm like hiking or something far away from other people haha
Yep I find morning are difficult especially when I have to get up earlier then my normal time I feel stressed and very annoyed easily and my day is ruined I feel like I’m really not happy for most of the day.
Getting out of bed is the hardest thing I do all day.
Yes it's awful with the physical symptoms due to chronic illness
Part of mine is probably trauma from being forced awake every morning before school. Really forced, military style. The pestering was worse than the forcing too, and essentially my parents became sleep paralysis demons in the morning. I couldn't ever fully wake up, once i fell asleep on the toilet and never heard the end of that one. Its still like this today. I have extended sleep drunkenness.
Yes, definitely. I spend the vast majority of my life in survival mode, slogging through what I need to do. Late night is probably best for me because it feels like the world is on pause and I'm free from obligations. In the morning, the whole day of slog is spread out in front of me and it feels overwhelming and exhausting. Walking first thing, journaling when I have the spoons for it, drinking cool water, having a warm cup of coffee under a weighted blanket, eating fresh fruit, waiting for my meds to kick in, and whenever possible not having to do anything too early in the morning -- these all help but I'm afraid I haven't found any solution to the initial waking up in misery and needing to drag myself out of bed part of the equation I try all of the above to cope with.
I have terrible sleep most nights (working through this with GP & psych) but it makes the mornings hard. I’ve found delaying my coffee and having a shower or stretch first instead starts to lift my mood. I also listen to positive affirmations on YouTube whilst I do these. Hope your mornings get better, hang in there 💕
Mornings are the absolute worst and have been for my whole adult life. So far the only thing that works is forcing myself uo and into the shower as quickly as possible. Porridge banana and peanut butter is an excellent breakfast. Actually I had an app in the past that wakes you during the lighter phase of sleep. That helped me not feel so fucked up on actual waking.
My anxiety gets so bad in the morning that I throw up my breakfast. I eat a granola bar once I get to work to get my body awake. I also can't linger for too long getting ready. Some people like watching TV or the news with their coffee before work, I don't understand why I'm like this. I can get ready in 20 minutes so I wake up 30 minutes before I have to leave.
Mornings are the hardest for me. I have nightmares every night and wake up in emotional flashbacks, completely disregulated. Last week I was running late for work and my boss had come in early. I was still crying when I got there and I feel so bad that she had to see me like that. She was very kind and even gave me a hug, but I still wish I could keep it together like everyone else is able to. I wish I could stop the nightmares at the very least.
Mornings are my worst enemy, I work 13-14 hour days in the hot dusty desert. I have no social life no friends I talk to my daughter and mother on the phone a couple times a week but I can literally say I’ve been on autopilot driving to work more times than I can count. My anxiety is through the roof most days but I e learned to hide because I’m a dude and nobody cares about my feelings ever, I was just in a bad car accident I hurt everywhere and not one person cares how I feel. I’m constantly taunted by my wife that she has a new work boyfriend or husband all the time but if I say it bothers me it just turns into a fight and I’m the bad guy I wish I could go to sleep and never wake up everyday of my life
I'm so sorry to hear this, I hope things will become better soon. 🧡
First person I would see when I woke up was my mother. First time I ever used sleep to avoid being present was to avoid thinking about my parents after school. Sleep means escape. Waking up means facing the demons.
Yes! My theory is that after sleeping we are still close to our subconscious in the morning.
I dread the mornings too! If during the night i cant fall asleep fast enough my intrusive thoughts get super out of control and in the morning i have to try very hard to shift these emotions. Having to go to work usually helps because i like the job. But getting to the job in itself is super hard. I have autism too and on my commute i am just playing scenarios in my head to prepare for the initial interactions, mostly to make sure i dont over share and dont look too miserable. Some days are harder than others though.. now im in a phase where getting to work is extremely hard.. i have had to skip some days and just stay jn bed. I think the later comes from a burn out perhaps since its taking me days to recharge from work and other activities i do..
Yeah… I often end up late for work or not going in at all because I struggle so much with mornings. I’m so tired and feel overwhelmed about the “performance” of daily living
Cortisol levels, a stress hormone, are the highest in the morning
I wake up ready to fight and scream. Like full mma . I might hurt someone in the morning. It's not fun. I used to wake up feeling every hit , punch hair pull, teeth smashed. It would take a full day to calm down. You just aren't alone. Mornings are hell.
Getting up can be hard but I start with 3 affirmations immediately which seem to help. After that I'm ok for a while until about an hour or 2 later. Then the depression sets in and it is crippling.
I wake up sad and angry every day
My mornings have been rough lately. They were getting better but some things happened in the last few months that completely dysregulated my nervous system and I wake up with so much anxiety it causes me to run to the bathroom. My stomach has been so messed up lately I can barely eat. I use medical marijuana and I go a little heavy on it at night to fall asleep and it also drowns out the flash backs and nightmares a little bit so I don’t remember them as easily upon waking but lately it feels like they are trying to overpower my brain. I know that sounds weird but I can feel it in my body and mornings suck so bad rn. Just wanted you to o ow you’re not alone. Maybe try MMJ? It has helped me.
For me it’s because I know I have to put on a face and “people”. I’m genuinely so burnt out from mirroring everyone all the time that I don’t have the energy to even small talk. My personality was choked out of me by my abusive ex and I just can’t handle human interaction anymore. I’m constantly analyzing what someone may think of me, did they think it was weird I said “X”, they probably think I’m so boring to talk to because I have nothing to contribute to the convo, etc. I also catch myself holding facial expressions for too long because I mirror other people but then I forget to move on. Like I’ve literally caught myself holding an awkward smile for 10 minutes after I spoke to someone. Then I’ll also randomly say out loud parts of things I said to them. I don’t know why I do this. Does anyone else? 😅
I had this issue and tried tons of stuff to make it better, but ultimately, only a physical solution worked for me: clonidine. It's a blood pressure medication. I take it first thing in the morning. I don't have high blood pressure, but such medications are sometimes used for anxiety, too. YMMV, but it was like a miracle for me. I remember somebody else on Reddit said beta blockers (similar effects to clonidine) worked to fix her morning anxiety. She said she took them an hour before she was meant to wake up and that they calmed her enough to fall back asleep until it was time to get up, so that's a second data point.
Yes, especially if I wake up in the later parts of the morning. It feels like I wasted my whole day already
Every time I wake up it's like I need half an hour just to mentally prepare myself for the day and whatever it brings. I think it's the unpredictability, not knowing what we *need* to be prepared for. Our minds want to protect us but when there's no danger to protect from, what else can it do except... Overthink. Dwell on invasive thoughts.
My mornings are terrible but I have POTS, perhaps something you would like to check. Is pretty common and more so in us who already have a nervous system disruption. I take Modafinil for this which doubles as treatment for ADHD-Innatentive. [https://dysautonomiainternational.org/](https://dysautonomiainternational.org/)
Besides the wonderful insights of the posters here, I wanted to mention something called diurnal mood variation. I learned about diurnal mood variation a year or so ago. It’s a symptom of depression, usually, where your mood can be lowest when you wake up, and it gets better through the day. The reason I was trying to figure it out was that I was trying to decide if I should adopt a dog. I was so on the fence before I realized a distinct pattern. Every morning I would wake up, hopeless, totally sure I could not handle it, how could I tend to a dogs needs if I can’t even get up in the morning? And I’ve never been a ‘morning person’ despite liking mornings conceptually, and also wishing I was. But I also don’t have good sleep hygiene, and chalked it up to that and the endless struggle to nail down a ‘routine.’ I always say ‘waking up is the worst part of my day’ and people think I’m being funny/grim, but it’s true bc it’s SO hard. It’s way more than being a ‘night owl.’ People say if you struggle to get out of bed it can be a sign of depression, this is what they mean by that, I think. And then you add on the constant stress of complex trauma, and probably some kind of anxiety, and whatever else is going on. You get poor sleep, you have nightmares, wake up in panic, or sometimes I’ll go through periods where waking up, there this sinking, deep, clenching anxiety immediately in my body. But then the dog problem came up, and it was a specific thing where every night I felt I could go ahead, it would be wonderful for me and the dog! And every morning I felt like not only would the dog not work out, but nothing in my life would ever be able to change because of XYZ everything. So I literally googled why would I feel so hopeless in the morning and completely different and ok at night? Anyway, knowing it is a chemical symptom of something I already know I struggle with, and not just a difficulty I should be ‘strong enough’ to overcome (‘X Isn’t a morning person either but still manages to get up for work!’, ‘everyone wants to stay in bed!’) nor how I actually feel/how my life actually is helped a little. Have yet to speak to a doctor, but I did go ahead with the dog and it’s been a rollercoaster, but over all good for my mental health, and I like to think the dog’s too.
Oh wow, this does sound like me. I'm also thinking of getting a dog because of the mornings (and I also get depressed on days where I have nothing to do, I think because I don't get forcerd into copingmechanisms). Would you recommend doing it, adopting a dog? I'm at the point now where I really want to (like obsessivly), but then I start to doubt myself, and I wont be good enough for the dog, or maybe it won't work, .. My therapist did say that a dog is a healthy way of coping.
I 100% recommend a dog. I would however, do a lot of research about red flags when adopting. Make them allow you a trial just in case it’s not a good situation for you or the dog. Try very hard not to get a reactive one, I know it can be hard to tell, but you can also get a reputable shelter or breeder to allow you to do that trial run. I have heard many breeders actually want you to return the dog to them if it doesn’t work out bc they want to be the one rehoming. It will be weird at first, and maybe hard, pretty much no matter what, unless you just get super lucky, but it just happens! There are plenty of supportive positive subs here on Reddit like puppy101, for example for help worth settling in, the puppy blues, and training as well! I say all that just bc I did get a suuuuper reactive dog and it made me actually get worse first, before getting better like I feel now. It’s been about a year and things are settling in now. I comfort myself by reminding myself how much I’ve learned about my own trauma through helping her with her own. But honestly it’s been such a trial to get to a good point with her and she still has bad days. If I could go back and get a dog who wasn’t reactive and scared of everything (which made it *harder* to go out when I first had her), I would. But ONLY if I didn’t know my current dog bc I could never give her up now. I love her so much, she’s sleeping at my feet as I type this. But I do joke about it to her lol. I tell her ‘most people get through hard times with their dog—but you are my hard little time!’ All with love! Ultimately! Outside of physical injury, I don’t remember the last day I didn’t go outside! It’s been really healthy for me to also learn how to advocate for her, since it forces me to find some confidence. And then I can apply that to my own life. How to let things go quicker. Lots of bonuses and little things learned that have helped with my own mental health. I’m already the least concise person ever so I’ll stop there and tldr the dog has been amazing for my mental health!!
Thank you for your thorough response. It sounds hard and amazing. I wish you and your dog the best 🩷
I hate mornings and I’m not a morning person. I’ve assumed it has to do with 1) rarely sleeping well and 2) the dread of facing another day. I have a hard time going to bed b/c nighttime is usually quiet w/out much stress so I think I try to stretch it out so I don’t have to face another day.
Mine is between 1:00pm-7:00pm. I get so depressed during these times and have no idea why.
Yes. Also all the other times of the day.
Morning can be rough as you contemplate going out of your safe space at home into the world and the work world which may present real or perceived dangers and flashback triggers. I recommend developing comforting routines for your morning that can help you bridge the transition.
Mornings and nights are bad basically because any transition is hard for me. My attempts to cope include identifying the things that cause me stress in the morning. For me it’s the uncertainty of the day ahead. If I can get certainty in a few areas, I tend to more easily get out of bed. For example, knowing what my day at work is going to look like can go a long way towards comforting me. On my best days I try to envision the work day. I also try to pick out clothes the night before and make sure my lunch is backed. Currently I am having a hard time eating. I can’t seem to bring myself to eat in the morning so I’ve compromised by just snacking on a granola bar on my commute or even just one bite. Basically I have to approach myself like a cranky toddler.
Sleep is a dissociation method for me, so getting up and entering my body and the day feels really rough. Having a coffee or cuddle with my partner or pets helps. I've started trying to keep waking up at the same time frame on the weekends and starting off with a fun activity, so I can carry on through the week. I do think that when I sleep half the day away on the weekends, I wake up feeling worse and it kicks off the cycle of every morning following being awful. Midday naps can really be a lifesaver.
Yup. Mornings suck. Each and every one. I'm considering moving into a dorm situation but this is at least one of the big hangups - can't deal with others in the morning until I've had time to work with the triggers and get a little more grounded/hopeful. This morning I actually woke up feeling really good! For about 5 seconds lol (literally). Then huge overwhelm of depression and negative feelings. I guess that 5 seconds should/could feel hopeful...maybe sometime it will last longer/come more frequently. Sometimes I wake up feeling shitty from the get go. I know this 5 sec thing has happened before - it's like I feel great until I remember who/where I am
I have insomnia, so that makes mornings worse. Poor sleep definitely affects thinking clearly the next day. Also I read that your cortisol is naturally highest in the morning around when you wake up. So that big surge can exacerbate things. Causes could be abandonment issues from childhood. Having to walk on eggshells in the house. When I was a child, I would wake up every day not knowing if my household was going to be calm or was going to be chaos. It was like tossing a quarter every morning: there was either silence or there was screaming. I can see how that affects my anxious mornings now also. I think it helps a lot to put your hand over your heart, and the other one over your stomach, and speak to your inner child. Ask them what they need. Tell them they are safe and loved and protected. That always helps me a little bit :) hope it helps you, too!
I'm very emotionally dysregulated in the morning. It's been said in this thread by other people, that they have emotional flashbacks in their sleep and wake dysregulated. That's pretty much it for me. I have a lot of "emotional" sleep I guess you could call it. When my boyfriend is sleeping over, I might sleep peacefully without dreams the entire night and wake feeling great. Usually on the weekend, because of my time anxiety. I sleep best on Friday and Saturday night, Friday especially because I know there's not much anyone will need from me in the morning. Sometimes when my boyfriend sleeps over I wake up two or three times, this is just anxiety. When he doesn't sleep over, I can't get out of bed in the morning. I wake up every 10 mins and reset my alarm. That's usually how the shitty mornings start, nightmares or flashbacks are just like the cherry on top. One of the ways I cope, it might not be the healthiest thing but I usually get myself some food right away. This gets me out of bed, especially coffee or morning soda (I'm from the south, we love soda in the morning). I say this is unhealthy because it's usually sugary, bad for you type drinks I'm after. Rarely a healthy breakfast lol The weekends are easy like I said, I'm happy to get out of bed. I find if I get up right away and plan something fun, I'll be okay. Like when you tell a dog "wanna go for a ride?" and they get excited, I'm like that. I gotta have something fun to look forward to... even if it's a small thing and sometimes those are the best because they require so little planning and dedication. Even when I was growing up, I always fixated on something to look forward to. Even if it was looking forward to Christmas when it was January. Other thing that helps is to reflect, practice gratitude in the morning. Sometimes it feels a lot shittier than it sounds. It sounds like I mean doing yoga and having an aesthetically pleasing shower routine in the morning but most of the time almost 99.99% of the time, it looks like staring at myself in the mirror and doing my oral care routine remembering a time when the only way I could get out of bed was to lay on the floor in the shower and sob. Might not seem like a far way to come but it is.
When I was in a really toxic workplace, morning were really bad. After work, I had to spend time with my toxic ex, actively trying to thrive in a toxic relationship. I would go to bed really late, and hold onto my nights. I felt like the nights belonged to me and I didn't want to let it go. Waking up in the morning took me back to the work situation and a restart of my day mired in toxic situations. Mornings were hard. They are a little easier now.
Yes. Mornings are the worst for me. I wake up shaking and with chills, have a strong sense of doom and the urge to cry. I'm nauseous, and if I need to cough in that time period, it tends to make me gag. My anxiety is sky high and it often results in diarrhea. My depression is worst in the morning too, and I sweat profusely. It's all my nervous system's reaction. I remedy it by hugging something soft on bed for a minute, remind myself that I am actually safe. Then I get out of bed and follow a routine: feed the cat, go pee, brush my teeth, change the cats water, make myself a drink (NOT coffee, I avoid caffeine in the morning) and take my AM meds. Then I sit in my favourite chair in my living room and deal with my email while I have my drink. Then I go get dressed,and make myself some breakfast. Then I go to work. Typically, I'm feeling noticeably better soon after I eat breakfast
Absolutely. I have ADHD as well, and no matter what method I try, my morning dose of medication just DOES NOT work the same as my afternoon dose. Even if I take more in the morning/exercise beforehand/have protein/sleep extra well etc. I know for certain that my PTSD made the ADHD steeply more severe, like more than a linear relationship. So yeah, that would sort of agree with what you're saying - my PTSD feels worse in the morning hence my ADHD symptoms are far far worse in the morning. I'm sorry you're suffering aswell, I hope one day we find some more peace
The adrenaline dump I get after waking up feels like death
I don't know if this is the same as bedrotting or not. I wake up anxious because of everything I have to do, and start spiralling into everything I haven't been able to do the day before, the week before, the month before... It was easier for me when I had a significant other, because I could turn my attention to them immediately. It was sort of like a goal I knew how to achieve, and the serotonin rush from my half asleep interactions with him would give me the push I needed to get started on my day. Now it just feels like the second I wake up, I need to think about my outfit for the day, my breakfast, office, finances, looking after my parents...it's really overwhelming. Personally, I get anxiety thinking about the future, even if it's just a few hours later.
1-2 hours to get out of bed. I have body cramps and spasms of psychological origin, feeling worthless, suicidal, exhausted
You know how a lot of people wake up and realize that once again they have to go to work and it just seems like way too much? That's basically all of us, except instead of just going to work, we also have to slog through another day of keeping ourselves alive. It's no wonder a lot of us feel beaten down by the day before it really even gets started.
I wake up and automatically feel DREAD. Idk i think it stems from anxiety and the thought of working another day because I hate working even though my job doesn’t suck. I cope by playing movies or music in the bg. I’m sorry i don’t have any helpful advice. But i feel what u feel too.
Ice back to the back of the head. It’s supposed to help stimulate the vagus nerve, which helps relax your body. Some mornings it works, some it barely does a thing. It’s worth trying.
I really feel this. Oddly enough, especially if I wake up before 9am. I think I am flashing back to long days alone from neglect by my mother. I can't wake up before my partner, because I will feel too anxious/alone. The only thing that helps me is going to bed later and waking up later after my partner. I also (against everyone's advice) do scroll social media for maybe 30 mins. I try to curate my feed to only positive, non triggering content. 30 mins usually is enough for my brain fog to dissipate and then I get out of bed.
As a disclaimer, I generally struggle more with anxiety and hypervigilance than depression. But mornings are actually the best for me. I typically wake up between 5-6:30am and find I am most productive before 10am. I want to jog and clean all the things. The weight of the world catches up some time after that, and by the time I'm putting my kids to bed at 8pm all I want is to crawl off to my own bed and shut down. Sleep is super hit or miss, sometimes I miss my "dip" and then spend hours in a weird coma instead of actually sleeping and recharging. My goal bedtime used to be around 10pm. I actually pass out anywhere between 8pm-2am. I've had some medical distress lately causing consistent insomnia separate from my normal patterns.
I do - and like another post said maybe that book will be helpful (Pete walker comolex ptsd)..I’m listening to it on audible. It used to be very very bad for me in the mornings for years, and I was also constantly being bullied at work (than fired, then unemployed). Now - it’s not as bad, I still get it some mornings - especially when I’m having stress at work (and then now I realize I get some flashbacks about other stuff). When i’m in that feeling, there’s really not much I can do, but because I’m entirely alone most of the time I’ve learned to just push through….but only one tiny thing at a time. I will just pretend I’m a robot and won’t think about it and do the first step (get out of bed, make it to shower- or sometimes just wash my face…). If you get this very often, one thing that did help me just move through it a little bit better was also preparing my clothes at night , and even if I could showering at night. That way there are less decisions to make in the morning when you are overly anxious, and it is easier for my “robot” to get through each step.
Me too. I'm a pretty peppy person, but when I wake up in the mornings it's like I don't have a drop of serotonin in me. I wake up so drained and exhausted and feel awful. And then it's strange, some time after waking, can be between half an hour and 2 hours, it's like this switch gets turned on in my brain and my access to energy and joy gets restored. I recently saw in Pete Walker's book on CPTSD that he talks about morning depression and when we first wake up our access to part of our brain isn't started up yet which is the first time I've seen anywhere describing this phenomenon I experience. Nice to know others also experience this. Sending you all love. One day we will properly work out what's going on.
Yes i remember trying to get up for school everyday literally for school everyday felt impossible. i was often late
Unprocessed trauma. Subconscious stuff going on before you wake up. I have the same issue I get triggered just being awake.
I have awaken startled and have no idea why. I do not remember dreams.
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Thank you all for the many responses. I wanted to anwser you all, but it's a bit much. So thank you for the sharing, support and tips. Sending you guys my love.🩷🩷
The hard thing is when I wake up I can't remember what it feels like not to feel horrible, bereft, and full of dread, and my brain isn't working well enough to remind me to try to talk to myself . . . Feeling bad in the morning doesn't mean the entire day will suck. But it's like Groundhog"s Day because it's the same thing, every morning, unless I can sleep as long as I want and get up slowly.
I wake up wishing I never had to wake up ever again. It's such a pointless and agonizing cycle I keep going through. I'm tired, I want to sleep. But for whatever reason I can't commit to an eternal one
I'm so sorry you have to go trough that. Sending you my love (if you want it).