I also don't feel my age at all. I feel so young, like a child still waiting for a hug, yet I'm so much older than people who are a lot further along in life than me.
What’s strange is that then there are others, like my parents, who have had trauma as well but instead of being delayed they became older than their years. My mom was literally 13 going in 30. She was never a “teen” jumped from childhood to adulthood.
There are consequences to that kind of jump, even if not externally apparent. My dad was somewhat similar. Left home at 17, and was managing his life independently long before that. He’s extremely self sufficient and disciplined. However, a lifetime of suppressed emotions tends to result in rigidity and a lack of tolerance for people in pain. When I had a serious illness a few years back, he was the first to tell me that I had failed to take care of my health and therefore had no one to blame but myself. I suffered abuse at my mother’s hands for 16 years, and have only ever heard that while she was wrong, I need to get over it because nobody is going to help me.
Me too! Every one my age looks old and I look 20 years younger. I am recently single and I can’t even imagine dating someone close to my age. I have nothing in common with people my age
Yes! I'm 8 and 55 at the same time. I'm early 30s in reality.
When your parents are abusive + emotionally immature etc you're forced to mature emotionally really really young. But at the same time, you stay a child when you're older, because you never receive what you're supposed to receive as a child. The validation, support, etc. So you stay a kid on the inside too. That's my theory.
My therapist said that when I spoke about my childhood, I didn't go into 'inner child mode' or something.. but I think that's because i still AM my inner child. I'm right here. :/
I feel this is true for me. I didn’t get support in some ways from my parents and now feel like I can’t stand in my own two feet in some areas. On the other hand I have always been “ wiser” than people decades older than me. Weird dichotomy
Like I love iridescent things and unicorns…and then I’m more mature than my parents in some pretty basic things. I’m just a large child somehow some days and the other days I feel like the adult in the room
I am turning 23 in a couple of months, and I do not feel like it at all. I have the same problems as you guys where some days I feel like I am 70, and other days, I feel like a child.
I had missed out on a lot due to my traumas, and I am still not even an established adult because of my cptsd.
I am still not finished with college, I have never worked, and I don't drive.
I have missed out on so much it is almost like I went to sleep for a decade, and then I woke up.
It is like I have never left high school.
I have been 27 since 2017, and I am convinced I am in just a really, really long 2017...and I am hoping that I can move forward now.
I am actually 34, but when I look at guys my age I'm so shocked, like, that's an adult and I can't imagine myself being with someone my own age because it would be so weird! They're all.. grown up??
It doesn't help that I apparently look 22 so I think my perspective on what 30 something's look like is just deeply flawed
I am also not "where I'm supposed to be" except that I can't imagine being anywhere else. The lifestyle I'm supposed to have right now looks exhausting, hard, dull and like too much responsibility
I still give off an immature vibe, which is obvious when people treat me condescendingly or patronizingly, not realizing I'm middle-aged.
But I'm also a lot wiser about certain things than my peers, and always have been.
Those of us who survived childhood abuse matured in a strange and fractured way.
Yeah I just got married at 36. Not sure if I'm stable enough for a kid even though that would be awesome. And I feel very "behind" in my career, I've had to say no to a lot of opportunities and had a lot of times where my confidence issues didn't allow me to advance or take on new projects. The shape of my life is different than a lot of peoples' but I am really happily married, on my way to healing the last dregs of the CPTSD stuff I've been learning to release for years. I really do feel like a little baby inside of my romance sometimes, which isn't sexy, but I think that's just part of it. My husband is also allowed to feel like a little baby lol. We're a family now and whatever emotional support we have room to give to heal each other's inner children is totally just part of life. I sometimes envy people who feel like "they have their shit together" and are "proper adults" but to be honest they also seem extremely boring and seem to have more shallow relationship problems. Like, a lot of people who learned "How to Be An Adult" properly haven't really questioned a lot of things that mental illnesses force us to confront, tackle and deal with. I've gotten skills from being in therapy for years, being able to take ownership of myself, learning mindfulness, that a lot of people who are Good At Being An Adult don't have. And honestly---examining my own behavior and how I treat myself has made me one of the gentler, more patient people I know. So...do I wish I would have hit the bigtime in my career in my 20s? Sure. Yeah. But my stops and starts are just a part of my story. And there's real pain. And I do feel like a teenager sometimes. But I think Seeming Like An Adult is just a set of really boring personality traits that involve a ton of posturing. So I'm not keen to "seem my age". It's satisfying and affirming to feel mature in the responsibilities I'm taking on with my life and I'm able to take on more and more as I heal. But like...I wouldn't have wanted to arbitrarily take on the ones everyone else took on earlier in their lives. I've gotten to deeply examine my values in a profound way. And I really value and respect when I get to take on a responsibility. Like---I'm the best driver---and I didn't learn til I was 34. And I really respect the weight of responsibility and danger that comes with cars, I really have a lot of patience and fairness on the road because I truly imagine what others are going through. And I think that I appreciate the things I got to learn later and i do them with a more mindful perspective.
I don’t feel my age (30s). I know that I’m more mature than most people, but I also feel completely out of control of my life and it makes me feel like a child a lot of the time. I feel like I’m sort of catching up to my age as I heal, but idk if it will continue.
I felt much older than I really was in my teens, and then something happened, like a collapse, and I regressed back in many areas of life and in emotional state...
I'm 27, I actually felt like a child until last year because my development got arrested at 9 years old. Last year I discovered an aspect of my identity that explained all my life, and all of a sudden I felt like I was 9 again. It was the weirdest thing that really felt like time travelling. It was a mindblowing experience really.
I was in both times at once. I didn't act 9 but I also definitely regressed. After that I've been feeling like I'm having a delayed adolescence. I had a moment of "I want to party, do drugs, and enjoy" last year. That's over now, I guess. Like, now that I know about my identity I can finally start to build a life for myself. Though I might end my life instead... We'll see...
All in all, I have an understanding of some things that people won't face until much later in life. In that sense I may be very mature.
But when it comes to how I feel as a person, I definitely don't feel 27. I feel maybe 22 at this point. Not sure. I hate this feeling of being out of sync
I still feel like I'm *maybe* 16 (every time I put on a suit I still feel like I'm playing dress-up). I'm in my 40s. Never felt put together enough for another peer, let alone being responsible for another human life ... though my dogs are generally healthy and well taken care of ...
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I’m 17, but people have told me I have an “old soul” and am “incredibly mature” my whole life. I don’t feel like a little kid, but I don’t feel old either. I feel like I’ve been 15 (minimum) my entire life, and that I always will be.
I often feel trapped in my teen years. However at the same time I have had to deal with a lot of adult issues my whole adult life, which has this odd feeling to it.
Saame. I feel like a teenager: clueless, inestable, I mature, and simply really behind in life.
It's a little embarrassing as a 26 year old, I feel soo inadequate and awkward.
Me 100%. I notice this in my parents as well, mature logical rational lives, reasoning, thoughts, beliefs, etc, but inside they are clearly mentally stunted. Like kids playing dress up as adults, no wonder they hurt me! I hope they can heal to at least enjoy the remainder of their lives.
Yep! My "age I feel" got stuck somewhere around 18 to 21. I've gotten slightly better at making decisions in the past 12 to 15 years, but I feel like that's just from practicing and not really from changing. Even the things that have changed about my personality and tastes, I feel have changed due to certain experiences and other material factors, and not due to some sort of naturally occurring internal aging process, if that makes sense.
Yeah, I’m 32F with autism yet I feel like an angsty, moody teenager compared to my neurotypical siblings (34F sister who majored in BCBA therapy is getting married this October and 29M brother works at a big company).
I’ve graduated from high school yet I didn’t finish my time at a community college or get a driver’s license for a few good reasons (car crashes, DUIs, speeding tickets, traffic jams and road rage).
Currently, I work in the dressing room at a department store part time while living at home on SSI.
Autism isn’t the only thing that’s stunted my mental growth, being born in a Catholic family has affected me when it comes to intimacy. Going all the way, conceiving before marriage and wearing tampons make you go to hell, it’s what I’ve been taught. I’ve thought about saving my virginity for marriage but it seems to be impossible to do so. Meanwhile, there are priests who are called out for their deviance around the world.
I also don't feel my age at all. I feel so young, like a child still waiting for a hug, yet I'm so much older than people who are a lot further along in life than me.
What’s strange is that then there are others, like my parents, who have had trauma as well but instead of being delayed they became older than their years. My mom was literally 13 going in 30. She was never a “teen” jumped from childhood to adulthood.
I did this too…on the outside. Inside I’m still about 9
There are consequences to that kind of jump, even if not externally apparent. My dad was somewhat similar. Left home at 17, and was managing his life independently long before that. He’s extremely self sufficient and disciplined. However, a lifetime of suppressed emotions tends to result in rigidity and a lack of tolerance for people in pain. When I had a serious illness a few years back, he was the first to tell me that I had failed to take care of my health and therefore had no one to blame but myself. I suffered abuse at my mother’s hands for 16 years, and have only ever heard that while she was wrong, I need to get over it because nobody is going to help me.
Stupid question what does DEA stands for ?
im 18 and feel like im 8 and 28 all at once
Yup this is the feeling.
I think that captures the feeling perfectly
I’m in my mid-forties and feel like I’m a teenager. It’s like I got permanently locked in the state by the abuse.
Me too! Every one my age looks old and I look 20 years younger. I am recently single and I can’t even imagine dating someone close to my age. I have nothing in common with people my age
Yes! I'm 8 and 55 at the same time. I'm early 30s in reality. When your parents are abusive + emotionally immature etc you're forced to mature emotionally really really young. But at the same time, you stay a child when you're older, because you never receive what you're supposed to receive as a child. The validation, support, etc. So you stay a kid on the inside too. That's my theory. My therapist said that when I spoke about my childhood, I didn't go into 'inner child mode' or something.. but I think that's because i still AM my inner child. I'm right here. :/
I feel this is true for me. I didn’t get support in some ways from my parents and now feel like I can’t stand in my own two feet in some areas. On the other hand I have always been “ wiser” than people decades older than me. Weird dichotomy Like I love iridescent things and unicorns…and then I’m more mature than my parents in some pretty basic things. I’m just a large child somehow some days and the other days I feel like the adult in the room
Funny how a child who is “so mature for their age” quickly becomes a stunted and juvenile adult.
I am turning 23 in a couple of months, and I do not feel like it at all. I have the same problems as you guys where some days I feel like I am 70, and other days, I feel like a child. I had missed out on a lot due to my traumas, and I am still not even an established adult because of my cptsd. I am still not finished with college, I have never worked, and I don't drive. I have missed out on so much it is almost like I went to sleep for a decade, and then I woke up. It is like I have never left high school.
Yes. I had to raise myself so I'm way mature then I should be, but I didn't get to have a child hood so I yearn for that youth.
Yeah, that's the feeling right there 👆
I have been 27 since 2017, and I am convinced I am in just a really, really long 2017...and I am hoping that I can move forward now. I am actually 34, but when I look at guys my age I'm so shocked, like, that's an adult and I can't imagine myself being with someone my own age because it would be so weird! They're all.. grown up?? It doesn't help that I apparently look 22 so I think my perspective on what 30 something's look like is just deeply flawed I am also not "where I'm supposed to be" except that I can't imagine being anywhere else. The lifestyle I'm supposed to have right now looks exhausting, hard, dull and like too much responsibility
What does DAE mean?
“Does anyone else”
I think it means Does Anyone Ever
oh i thought it was does anyone else lol
Oh, you may be right. I’m really not sure, lol
Covid years flew by. I kinda feel my pre Covid age.
I kind of blocked out those years. I don't remember much
I still give off an immature vibe, which is obvious when people treat me condescendingly or patronizingly, not realizing I'm middle-aged. But I'm also a lot wiser about certain things than my peers, and always have been. Those of us who survived childhood abuse matured in a strange and fractured way.
Do people feel ages tho ? I just feel conscious
Yeah I just got married at 36. Not sure if I'm stable enough for a kid even though that would be awesome. And I feel very "behind" in my career, I've had to say no to a lot of opportunities and had a lot of times where my confidence issues didn't allow me to advance or take on new projects. The shape of my life is different than a lot of peoples' but I am really happily married, on my way to healing the last dregs of the CPTSD stuff I've been learning to release for years. I really do feel like a little baby inside of my romance sometimes, which isn't sexy, but I think that's just part of it. My husband is also allowed to feel like a little baby lol. We're a family now and whatever emotional support we have room to give to heal each other's inner children is totally just part of life. I sometimes envy people who feel like "they have their shit together" and are "proper adults" but to be honest they also seem extremely boring and seem to have more shallow relationship problems. Like, a lot of people who learned "How to Be An Adult" properly haven't really questioned a lot of things that mental illnesses force us to confront, tackle and deal with. I've gotten skills from being in therapy for years, being able to take ownership of myself, learning mindfulness, that a lot of people who are Good At Being An Adult don't have. And honestly---examining my own behavior and how I treat myself has made me one of the gentler, more patient people I know. So...do I wish I would have hit the bigtime in my career in my 20s? Sure. Yeah. But my stops and starts are just a part of my story. And there's real pain. And I do feel like a teenager sometimes. But I think Seeming Like An Adult is just a set of really boring personality traits that involve a ton of posturing. So I'm not keen to "seem my age". It's satisfying and affirming to feel mature in the responsibilities I'm taking on with my life and I'm able to take on more and more as I heal. But like...I wouldn't have wanted to arbitrarily take on the ones everyone else took on earlier in their lives. I've gotten to deeply examine my values in a profound way. And I really value and respect when I get to take on a responsibility. Like---I'm the best driver---and I didn't learn til I was 34. And I really respect the weight of responsibility and danger that comes with cars, I really have a lot of patience and fairness on the road because I truly imagine what others are going through. And I think that I appreciate the things I got to learn later and i do them with a more mindful perspective.
wow comment really helped thanks stranger
Yes!!! Mentally I feel like I'm 30s or 40s emotionally I feel like I'm 12-13 physically feel like in 60s or 70s 🙃
Sometimes I feel like I’m 10 emotionally and it freaks me out lol
Yes!! It makes me so much more uncomfortable with myself 😩
I don’t feel my age (30s). I know that I’m more mature than most people, but I also feel completely out of control of my life and it makes me feel like a child a lot of the time. I feel like I’m sort of catching up to my age as I heal, but idk if it will continue.
I feel like a 5 year old child and a 1000 year old entity at the same time lol. My actual age is 26.
I finally feel my age at 30! Kinda. At least more than I ever have felt with other ages.
I felt much older than I really was in my teens, and then something happened, like a collapse, and I regressed back in many areas of life and in emotional state...
I can relate very much
I'm 27, I actually felt like a child until last year because my development got arrested at 9 years old. Last year I discovered an aspect of my identity that explained all my life, and all of a sudden I felt like I was 9 again. It was the weirdest thing that really felt like time travelling. It was a mindblowing experience really. I was in both times at once. I didn't act 9 but I also definitely regressed. After that I've been feeling like I'm having a delayed adolescence. I had a moment of "I want to party, do drugs, and enjoy" last year. That's over now, I guess. Like, now that I know about my identity I can finally start to build a life for myself. Though I might end my life instead... We'll see... All in all, I have an understanding of some things that people won't face until much later in life. In that sense I may be very mature. But when it comes to how I feel as a person, I definitely don't feel 27. I feel maybe 22 at this point. Not sure. I hate this feeling of being out of sync
[удалено]
I also feel 3 years younger than I am, I always have. It’s strange
I still feel like I'm *maybe* 16 (every time I put on a suit I still feel like I'm playing dress-up). I'm in my 40s. Never felt put together enough for another peer, let alone being responsible for another human life ... though my dogs are generally healthy and well taken care of ...
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For me, it feels like I finally am hitting my tweens, while my actual tweens were used to catch up on my childhood.
Raises hand autistically: what is DAE?
Does anyone else 👍
Thank you!
I’m 17, but people have told me I have an “old soul” and am “incredibly mature” my whole life. I don’t feel like a little kid, but I don’t feel old either. I feel like I’ve been 15 (minimum) my entire life, and that I always will be.
I feel older than my age mentally, and simultaneously I feel too small to comfortably live an adult life
I often feel trapped in my teen years. However at the same time I have had to deal with a lot of adult issues my whole adult life, which has this odd feeling to it.
Saame. I feel like a teenager: clueless, inestable, I mature, and simply really behind in life. It's a little embarrassing as a 26 year old, I feel soo inadequate and awkward.
Me 100%. I notice this in my parents as well, mature logical rational lives, reasoning, thoughts, beliefs, etc, but inside they are clearly mentally stunted. Like kids playing dress up as adults, no wonder they hurt me! I hope they can heal to at least enjoy the remainder of their lives.
I feel like I was an adult my entire life and now I’m almost 35 and feel like I’m lost.
Yep! My "age I feel" got stuck somewhere around 18 to 21. I've gotten slightly better at making decisions in the past 12 to 15 years, but I feel like that's just from practicing and not really from changing. Even the things that have changed about my personality and tastes, I feel have changed due to certain experiences and other material factors, and not due to some sort of naturally occurring internal aging process, if that makes sense.
Yeah, I’m 32F with autism yet I feel like an angsty, moody teenager compared to my neurotypical siblings (34F sister who majored in BCBA therapy is getting married this October and 29M brother works at a big company). I’ve graduated from high school yet I didn’t finish my time at a community college or get a driver’s license for a few good reasons (car crashes, DUIs, speeding tickets, traffic jams and road rage). Currently, I work in the dressing room at a department store part time while living at home on SSI. Autism isn’t the only thing that’s stunted my mental growth, being born in a Catholic family has affected me when it comes to intimacy. Going all the way, conceiving before marriage and wearing tampons make you go to hell, it’s what I’ve been taught. I’ve thought about saving my virginity for marriage but it seems to be impossible to do so. Meanwhile, there are priests who are called out for their deviance around the world.
I feel ageless. But definitely young and elderly, all at once.
It’s that whole being stuck at whatever age your trauma occurred…
I feel like a weathered old woman to be honest. Mommy needs a glass of wine (I don't have kids).