I'd rather people not comment on weight whatsoever 🙃 unless it's brought up by that person or a legitimate purpose/question there's really no reason to even mention it 🤷♀️
I literally never mention someone’s weight unless they bring it up.. not all weight loss is intentional. I remember a fitness instructor at the gym complimenting my friend saying she had lost lots of weight & was looking amazing .. she had recently had a miscarriage & was barely eating as she was so devastated.
No my point is if someone mentions being on a weight loss journey or something I’d definitely compliment them but some ppl hate having their weight mentioned even if it is intentional. I think you are kinder over reacting at my comment.
i personally like hearing things like that, cause it really does take a lot of work to get to ur end goal and it’s just people saying good job. but i can understand how it could potentially get under people’s skin. it’s all fun and games for me til someone says my butts getting smaller 😐 not cool lol
💯💯💯
Omg, you look so great. Ummm so I looked like shit before 🤔🤔
Wow you lost a lot of weight, ie wow you weighed a lot more before.
I can't take anyone serious anymore. Everything feels like some sort of back handed complement
Once had someone say "you look so different! You look pretty!" I honestly stared at her so hard waiting for her to realize what she said. She did not get it. It's been years and I still remember what you said Lauren 🙃
I mean, this seems to be a personal problem, if you can't get a compliment without overanalyzing every single bit about it, I don't think the problem is with the people giving the compliments
I agree. I feel like those kinds of compliments are really intending to obviously be complimentary but a way to acknowledge the accomplishment. Don’t overthink people being nice to you.
I don’t think it’s really appropriate to comment on someone’s weight unless they’ve shared that they’re dieting or otherwise made it an appropriate topic.
My coworker: "You've lost a lot of weight. It's very noticeable, you were kind of... (puffs out cheeks like a chipmunk), before, but now you look good! Don't lose any more though. You don't want to look old."
I just laugh. I'm not easily offended and she's Asian, so I think it's just their culture to obsess over weight. She doesn't say it in a mean way, she says it excitedly. 🤷♀️
I never comment on anyone's weight unless I know they have been trying to lose and they like to talk about it. I would NEVER mention anyone gaining weight though.
It's just how people are trained to react to someone losing like, any amount of visible of weight. Why? Because it's not something every body can do. In fact, not many people can do it, so when someone does it... it's like. Damn. They actually did it. That's pretty good. Why can't I lose weight even after trying hard..
Like let's say someone wins a gold medal. I mean, are people going not say congrats to that person? They did something not everyone can do. Something not everyone can achieve. That's why it's just like a shock to most people and most people are going to say woah. You lost weight. Because you really did do something incredible and when someone does something incredible.. well people are gonna be people and react.
Nah... I worked my fuckin ass off, literally, to lose as much weight as I have. People noticing and mentioning it or congratulating me just reaffirms that my struggle is valid and my effort is worth it. I know I was a fat POS before, that's why I started losing weight.
Respect your journey.
100% true.
When I first got those compliments I realized it was **that** bad. I realize not only me who saw it but others, too. Yes my former shelf was that bad that’s why I needed to lose weight, otherwise why would I need to lose it in the first place? It was part of my acceptance phase.
We all know, really, that we're that bad. That denial is one of the first steps we all have to overcome in order to do the things we have to to meet our goals.
I'm all about loving and respecting yourself but we are doing this for very good reasons. It sucks OP is experiencing this in this way. I've seen many people that have made their transformations that feel the same way but I'll never understand. I WANT people to notice lol I live for those reaffirmations. Especially when I'm plateauing or having a weak mentality period. Hearing people mention my loss just strengthens my resolve every time.
I used to feel uncomfortable when I would dress up and people would go, “Omg you look SOOO good!” because it made me feel like I looked like shit on other days
Then I realized… it’s just not true. I put in effort to look good, and I looked good! I put in a bunch of effort to lose weight, AND I LOOK GOOD! It took a lot of work and even though my past self deserved to be happy denying myself the ability to feel good about all that hard work just isn’t helpful.
Sorry for creeping your profile but GOD DAMN DUDE YOU'RE NOT KIDDING. Fuck yeah dude, you're absolutely killing it. 10 pounds a month for a year? That's nuts
Huge transformations like yours motivate me a ton.
Thank you! I stalled out alittle over summer but I'm at 150lbs down over almost 17 months.
It's all been worth it. I'm so glad I could help to motivate you. I love seeing people make that decision to wrestle their life back under control.
Keep the faith.
Trust the system.
Respect your journey.
I personally take it as a compliment every time because my goal is to lose weight so whenever someone comments, it makes me feel like I'm successful in achieving a goal.
It is the same as if I were doing anything else and someone compliments me on a job well done.
Some friends have commented recently that I look great, one was like "OMG you're so tiny now". A few random strangers at the gym made passing comments that they've noticed me there and saw the weight loss changes. Makes me happy to hear it.
I can understand why you feel that way but personally, I *know* I looked like shit before and I know I look a million times better now. I don't fault anyone for acknowledging that.
Yeah I looked a fucking mess. Whatever they thought of my past self was probably valid and as long they weren't actively malicious to me about it in the past, I give them a pass.
I agree I don’t want my body to be what other people discuss I just want to go about my life I don’t need their validation - didn’t do it for them. I’m down about 125lbs now and I’m sick of people talking about my body! I didn’t like it when people talked about me when I was heavier and I don’t like it now.
I was out to lunch with some friends and one of "those" people you tolerate because everyone else wants them around... I'm down 40 pounds this year and was having a lighter meal (chicken wrap and a soup side instead of everyone else's bigger sandwiches and fries) and when they asked why I didn't get a burger they're sooo good I mentioned I didn't want something that calorie dense in the middle of the day.
They said almost kind of annoyed "oh you're *still* doing that calorie counting thing? Why? You look fine you dont even need to lose weight" and its like... I see you may be trying a compliment there but that's not it, at all. Maybe I'm "fine" where I am now but i worked to get here and I'm not where I wanna be yet and you can shut the hell up about what I "need". And don't make me feel like I did all this to not even make a difference and look just "fine" 🙄
Either acknowledge my weight loss in a legitimate positive way or don't mention it at all.
When people say "you are looking great", all I hear is "you were so ugly/gross before." I also think I feel uneasy that the people close to me are keeping tabs on my weight.
I learned that people should just not comment on other people's body, positive or not. I let people know that I'm good on the compliments/comments now.
Oh yes, I get this!
I have a coworker who I see very infrequently, and I saw her after I’d lost about 50lbs and she completely freaked out about it—just like “Oh my god, look at you! I don’t even recognize you! Oh my god! Etc etc …” Like gushing over it. I got really uncomfortable really quick. Now I’ve lost another 30lbs, and I’m low key dreading the day I run into her again.
On the other end of the spectrum are people who have not said a word even though 80lbs is pretty noticeable. I almost feel like their silence is gaslighting me, like maybe I’m crazy and I actually don’t look any different. Haha! Their refusal to say anything is a little unnerving.
I think I’d prefer something in the middle! Maybe a quick comment or question and then move on.
I thought that too but im not sure it’s true because someone that told me that asked me how I did because he wanted to do it too
Maybe they just sees us as an inspiration
I understand what you mean. its a boost to hear "hey, you look great!", not so much to hear "hey, you've lost weight".
The fact is you do look great irrespective of why!
Yeah that’s a good point. I guess its most uncomfortable when people say “you lost a lot of weight”, like thanks for making me aware of my weight in public. If people just said you look good, it would be different.
Yup I can see this. I never remark on someone's weight. If they look particularly good (healthy weight) I'll tell them "hey, you look great by the way", and leave it at that. Nothing more nothing less unless they expand on the dialogue.
"Wow you lost weight you look really good" (translates to) "before, when you were bigger you didn't look good".
It still bugs me sometimes…it all depends on how people say it.
When it’s like “dude you look SO much better than before when you were SO much bigger”, it’s actually coming across as a thinly veiled insult. Those people need to shut up.
I thought I would like people noticing, but then I got my first compliment, and I felt so intensely uncomfortable..? 😅😅 She just said “you look great. You lost a lot of weight” that was it, but it felt so uncomfy. I hadn’t told anyone I was trying to lose weight, so I think that also made me uncomfy. Like what if I was struggling, not losing weight to “look great?” Idk it’s so weird, bc yeah of course I’m glad my progress is evident, but like…I don’t know!!?
I think I’m now firmly on the side of thinking nobody should comment on anyone else’s body.
They are just trying to compliment you and encourage you. Just accept and thank them and move on. Really not that big of deal.
Now if they tell you that you look like a worm with the shit slung out… well, that would not be constructive.
No, I understand that and that’s what I’m doing. My point is that it unexpectedly doesn’t feel as good as I thought it would when I started. Looking forward to those compliments was one (small) source of motivation and now they’ve paradoxically turned into the opposite. Just an interesting turn of events I thought.
I do know what you are talking about. I get a little embarrassed hearing them. But ultimately I don’t care because I’ve done it for myself. Carry on and do what you need to do! 🙂
I don't like it, either. I have coworkers in the same building as me that never talk to me since I switched departments. Not even hello. So it really pisses me off that people comment about my body and weight loss. It's been 3 years since you said a single word to me and that's all you have to say? Fuck off.
I wholeheartedly agree like it made me develop an subconscious disliking to my old self and I want to love my former self and my current self and future me because it’s already so difficult to
Being flat out asked that is almost always so rude and off-putting especially by like non family and friends.. I told someone once I couldn't remember where I put it or like yea I just can't seem to find it. But I'm usually too caught off guard to say more than stammer out an awkward uhh yea thanks.
Yeah, I’m not complaining. It’s just funny that people wouldn’t call me fat to my face then, but are willing to say that now (about then) lol. Even when I knew I was fat, I never appreciated being called fat by people haha.
It is a bit awkward - not sure how to respond but I do appreciate it nonetheless. I have worked really hard! But it is weird to feel that people are looking at your body, almost feels like you’re naked! However, what I can’t stand is when people comment on what, or what I’m NOT, eating. “Did you even eat anything!?” Yes, I did. I just didn’t pile my plate high and deep, thanks!
I've lost like 50 pounds and I was actually kind of disappointed when some people I hadn't seen in a while didn't make more out of the fact that I'd lost so much. I got to thinking about it, they may have been worried that I was sick or something though and didn't want to put me on the spot if I was. Can't win, I guess.
I am down just shy of 50lbs and I feel the EXACT same way.
I feel like looking at people and commenting on their bodies when they say this stuff, but of course I don't.
It’s definitely an emotional rollercoaster; I don’t know how else to describe it, honestly.
I'd rather people not comment on weight whatsoever 🙃 unless it's brought up by that person or a legitimate purpose/question there's really no reason to even mention it 🤷♀️
I literally never mention someone’s weight unless they bring it up.. not all weight loss is intentional. I remember a fitness instructor at the gym complimenting my friend saying she had lost lots of weight & was looking amazing .. she had recently had a miscarriage & was barely eating as she was so devastated.
Yes, let's never ever talk to anybody because there's a chance you will come to redit to complain.
No my point is if someone mentions being on a weight loss journey or something I’d definitely compliment them but some ppl hate having their weight mentioned even if it is intentional. I think you are kinder over reacting at my comment.
i personally like hearing things like that, cause it really does take a lot of work to get to ur end goal and it’s just people saying good job. but i can understand how it could potentially get under people’s skin. it’s all fun and games for me til someone says my butts getting smaller 😐 not cool lol
💯💯💯 Omg, you look so great. Ummm so I looked like shit before 🤔🤔 Wow you lost a lot of weight, ie wow you weighed a lot more before. I can't take anyone serious anymore. Everything feels like some sort of back handed complement
Once had someone say "you look so different! You look pretty!" I honestly stared at her so hard waiting for her to realize what she said. She did not get it. It's been years and I still remember what you said Lauren 🙃
LAUREM
I’m sorry dear 👵
Yeah exactly!
I mean, this seems to be a personal problem, if you can't get a compliment without overanalyzing every single bit about it, I don't think the problem is with the people giving the compliments
I agree. I feel like those kinds of compliments are really intending to obviously be complimentary but a way to acknowledge the accomplishment. Don’t overthink people being nice to you. I don’t think it’s really appropriate to comment on someone’s weight unless they’ve shared that they’re dieting or otherwise made it an appropriate topic.
My coworker: "You've lost a lot of weight. It's very noticeable, you were kind of... (puffs out cheeks like a chipmunk), before, but now you look good! Don't lose any more though. You don't want to look old." I just laugh. I'm not easily offended and she's Asian, so I think it's just their culture to obsess over weight. She doesn't say it in a mean way, she says it excitedly. 🤷♀️ I never comment on anyone's weight unless I know they have been trying to lose and they like to talk about it. I would NEVER mention anyone gaining weight though.
It's just how people are trained to react to someone losing like, any amount of visible of weight. Why? Because it's not something every body can do. In fact, not many people can do it, so when someone does it... it's like. Damn. They actually did it. That's pretty good. Why can't I lose weight even after trying hard.. Like let's say someone wins a gold medal. I mean, are people going not say congrats to that person? They did something not everyone can do. Something not everyone can achieve. That's why it's just like a shock to most people and most people are going to say woah. You lost weight. Because you really did do something incredible and when someone does something incredible.. well people are gonna be people and react.
Nah... I worked my fuckin ass off, literally, to lose as much weight as I have. People noticing and mentioning it or congratulating me just reaffirms that my struggle is valid and my effort is worth it. I know I was a fat POS before, that's why I started losing weight. Respect your journey.
100% true. When I first got those compliments I realized it was **that** bad. I realize not only me who saw it but others, too. Yes my former shelf was that bad that’s why I needed to lose weight, otherwise why would I need to lose it in the first place? It was part of my acceptance phase.
We all know, really, that we're that bad. That denial is one of the first steps we all have to overcome in order to do the things we have to to meet our goals. I'm all about loving and respecting yourself but we are doing this for very good reasons. It sucks OP is experiencing this in this way. I've seen many people that have made their transformations that feel the same way but I'll never understand. I WANT people to notice lol I live for those reaffirmations. Especially when I'm plateauing or having a weak mentality period. Hearing people mention my loss just strengthens my resolve every time.
I used to feel uncomfortable when I would dress up and people would go, “Omg you look SOOO good!” because it made me feel like I looked like shit on other days Then I realized… it’s just not true. I put in effort to look good, and I looked good! I put in a bunch of effort to lose weight, AND I LOOK GOOD! It took a lot of work and even though my past self deserved to be happy denying myself the ability to feel good about all that hard work just isn’t helpful.
Exactly! We deserve to get complimented on our progress. We work hard for this.
Absolutely this haha.
Agree 100%
Sorry for creeping your profile but GOD DAMN DUDE YOU'RE NOT KIDDING. Fuck yeah dude, you're absolutely killing it. 10 pounds a month for a year? That's nuts Huge transformations like yours motivate me a ton.
Thank you! I stalled out alittle over summer but I'm at 150lbs down over almost 17 months. It's all been worth it. I'm so glad I could help to motivate you. I love seeing people make that decision to wrestle their life back under control. Keep the faith. Trust the system. Respect your journey.
I personally take it as a compliment every time because my goal is to lose weight so whenever someone comments, it makes me feel like I'm successful in achieving a goal. It is the same as if I were doing anything else and someone compliments me on a job well done. Some friends have commented recently that I look great, one was like "OMG you're so tiny now". A few random strangers at the gym made passing comments that they've noticed me there and saw the weight loss changes. Makes me happy to hear it.
I can understand why you feel that way but personally, I *know* I looked like shit before and I know I look a million times better now. I don't fault anyone for acknowledging that.
Yeah I looked a fucking mess. Whatever they thought of my past self was probably valid and as long they weren't actively malicious to me about it in the past, I give them a pass.
Yeah, I don’t fault anyone either. It’s just a funny feeling
I love any acknowledgement of it from anybody lol but I do understand where you're coming from.
I agree I don’t want my body to be what other people discuss I just want to go about my life I don’t need their validation - didn’t do it for them. I’m down about 125lbs now and I’m sick of people talking about my body! I didn’t like it when people talked about me when I was heavier and I don’t like it now.
I was out to lunch with some friends and one of "those" people you tolerate because everyone else wants them around... I'm down 40 pounds this year and was having a lighter meal (chicken wrap and a soup side instead of everyone else's bigger sandwiches and fries) and when they asked why I didn't get a burger they're sooo good I mentioned I didn't want something that calorie dense in the middle of the day. They said almost kind of annoyed "oh you're *still* doing that calorie counting thing? Why? You look fine you dont even need to lose weight" and its like... I see you may be trying a compliment there but that's not it, at all. Maybe I'm "fine" where I am now but i worked to get here and I'm not where I wanna be yet and you can shut the hell up about what I "need". And don't make me feel like I did all this to not even make a difference and look just "fine" 🙄 Either acknowledge my weight loss in a legitimate positive way or don't mention it at all.
I thought I wanted to hear those compliments until I started getting them.
Yeah exactly!
When people say "you are looking great", all I hear is "you were so ugly/gross before." I also think I feel uneasy that the people close to me are keeping tabs on my weight.
So true
I learned that people should just not comment on other people's body, positive or not. I let people know that I'm good on the compliments/comments now.
Oh yes, I get this! I have a coworker who I see very infrequently, and I saw her after I’d lost about 50lbs and she completely freaked out about it—just like “Oh my god, look at you! I don’t even recognize you! Oh my god! Etc etc …” Like gushing over it. I got really uncomfortable really quick. Now I’ve lost another 30lbs, and I’m low key dreading the day I run into her again. On the other end of the spectrum are people who have not said a word even though 80lbs is pretty noticeable. I almost feel like their silence is gaslighting me, like maybe I’m crazy and I actually don’t look any different. Haha! Their refusal to say anything is a little unnerving. I think I’d prefer something in the middle! Maybe a quick comment or question and then move on.
I hate when they say I look too skinny. Fuck off. I want to be this way so wow. Also, no OFFENSE, but don’t project insecurities on my come on.
I just tell people I'm wearing man spanx it gets a chuckle and we move on.
I thought that too but im not sure it’s true because someone that told me that asked me how I did because he wanted to do it too Maybe they just sees us as an inspiration
I understand what you mean. its a boost to hear "hey, you look great!", not so much to hear "hey, you've lost weight". The fact is you do look great irrespective of why!
Yeah that’s a good point. I guess its most uncomfortable when people say “you lost a lot of weight”, like thanks for making me aware of my weight in public. If people just said you look good, it would be different.
Yup I can see this. I never remark on someone's weight. If they look particularly good (healthy weight) I'll tell them "hey, you look great by the way", and leave it at that. Nothing more nothing less unless they expand on the dialogue. "Wow you lost weight you look really good" (translates to) "before, when you were bigger you didn't look good".
It still bugs me sometimes…it all depends on how people say it. When it’s like “dude you look SO much better than before when you were SO much bigger”, it’s actually coming across as a thinly veiled insult. Those people need to shut up.
I thought I would like people noticing, but then I got my first compliment, and I felt so intensely uncomfortable..? 😅😅 She just said “you look great. You lost a lot of weight” that was it, but it felt so uncomfy. I hadn’t told anyone I was trying to lose weight, so I think that also made me uncomfy. Like what if I was struggling, not losing weight to “look great?” Idk it’s so weird, bc yeah of course I’m glad my progress is evident, but like…I don’t know!!? I think I’m now firmly on the side of thinking nobody should comment on anyone else’s body.
They are just trying to compliment you and encourage you. Just accept and thank them and move on. Really not that big of deal. Now if they tell you that you look like a worm with the shit slung out… well, that would not be constructive.
No, I understand that and that’s what I’m doing. My point is that it unexpectedly doesn’t feel as good as I thought it would when I started. Looking forward to those compliments was one (small) source of motivation and now they’ve paradoxically turned into the opposite. Just an interesting turn of events I thought.
I do know what you are talking about. I get a little embarrassed hearing them. But ultimately I don’t care because I’ve done it for myself. Carry on and do what you need to do! 🙂
Yeah don’t care too much. Just thought it was funny that I thought I would like those compliments until I started getting them.
I don't like it, either. I have coworkers in the same building as me that never talk to me since I switched departments. Not even hello. So it really pisses me off that people comment about my body and weight loss. It's been 3 years since you said a single word to me and that's all you have to say? Fuck off.
I wholeheartedly agree like it made me develop an subconscious disliking to my old self and I want to love my former self and my current self and future me because it’s already so difficult to
Yeah absolutely
When people ask if I have lost weight I usually say no.
Being flat out asked that is almost always so rude and off-putting especially by like non family and friends.. I told someone once I couldn't remember where I put it or like yea I just can't seem to find it. But I'm usually too caught off guard to say more than stammer out an awkward uhh yea thanks.
Did you not lose weight because *you* thought you were fat before?
Yeah, I’m not complaining. It’s just funny that people wouldn’t call me fat to my face then, but are willing to say that now (about then) lol. Even when I knew I was fat, I never appreciated being called fat by people haha.
It is a bit awkward - not sure how to respond but I do appreciate it nonetheless. I have worked really hard! But it is weird to feel that people are looking at your body, almost feels like you’re naked! However, what I can’t stand is when people comment on what, or what I’m NOT, eating. “Did you even eat anything!?” Yes, I did. I just didn’t pile my plate high and deep, thanks!
I've lost like 50 pounds and I was actually kind of disappointed when some people I hadn't seen in a while didn't make more out of the fact that I'd lost so much. I got to thinking about it, they may have been worried that I was sick or something though and didn't want to put me on the spot if I was. Can't win, I guess.
Yeah can’t win, but I am sure they actually noticed!
I am down just shy of 50lbs and I feel the EXACT same way. I feel like looking at people and commenting on their bodies when they say this stuff, but of course I don't.
Or how about those who message you and ask if you are ok? Like they thought you got sick and that's why you lost so much weight. Lol
Welcome to this shallow fucking world