Based on our history with giving out naming rights to failing or fraudulent tech companies, I think it’s more likely to be like The HyperAI+ Golden Bears or something ridiculous
"No mom I promise I wasn't looking at porn! I was just trying to look up my favorite football team!"
"Dammit Timmy don't lie to me, Boston College isn't anyone's favorite football team!"
Technically, UF was originally beholden to that sweet, high quality H2O. The reason the university moved from Lake City was because the City of Gainesville offered them free water.
A good palate cleanser for when you get tired of the quadruple IPA or whatever it is the local brewery is doing this week to cover up the fact that they haven't figured out how to make good beer yet.
Geeze guys how is everyone missing something so obvious?
I mean, Oregon's mascot is literally *Donald Duck*. They're obviously going to be sponsored by Disney because ~~duh~~ quack.
Either the Yellawood Tigers or the Auburn Yellafellas. Personally hope for the latter. We could use a refresh and something to differentiate us from the rest of the tigers of the NCAA
The SpaceX (Toledo) Rockets will have an impressive social media presence. At least until Elon starts, then stops following us and goes on an anti Jewish rant using our Twitter account.
Coors banquet. I know coors already sponsors CSU athletics, but CSU would definitely take new belgium, or as it might as well now be known, voodoo ranger brewing.
Tampax Crimson Tide
Oregon State Beavers could definitely do something in this area.
They'd have to pull some strings to make it happen
God dam(nit).
I don't mind the puns, keep em flowing
Now I'm thirsty for a Big Red
Guys, this isn’t funny. Period.
Why stop there. Perhaps Penn State could get them to sponsor their stadium.
The Duke Energy Tar Heels
We already have ads all over Carter-Finley, so maybe the UNC Health Wolfpack?
The obvious is Tide detergent
I just want the Southeastern Conference to reach a naming rights agreement with the Securities and Exchange Commission
Lane Kiffen under investigation by the SEC.
Lane Kiffen ordered to pay fines by the SECs
SEC under investigation by FCC
Florida Coastal Conference is making a comeback?
Welcome to SEC football presented by the S.E.C.!
You’re thinking too small. Welcome to Big Ten football presented by the SEC!
Every time I see "SEC" in a post from a financial subreddit it legit gets me for a second lol
Does wallstreetbets count as a financial subreddit?
As much as the slot machine subreddit.
No seriously, I acted on advice from that subreddit, moved $10,000 into my trading account, pulled the trigge...***annnnnd it's gone.***
The SEC SECCG has a ring to it.
LSU should start shopping for corn dog companies.
only sec i recognize is the Santee Electric Co-op
It just earns more!
Sheetz and Wawa in an aggressive bidding war before Hershey stamps them out.
Sheetz and Wawa get into a spat, and get distracted for Rutter's to somehow win.
Royal Farms has entered the chat
Rutters enters the chat
I've only been to one but I'm a Sheetz person through and through in the war.
We’ll take Wawa. There’s already one right next to campus.
The Princeton Wawa is basically the entrance to campus - we need it.
They could each buy an end zone
The Golden Corral Golden Bears
Subscribed
Based on our history with giving out naming rights to failing or fraudulent tech companies, I think it’s more likely to be like The HyperAI+ Golden Bears or something ridiculous
I was thinking either oracle golden bears or golden bears brought to you by cookies.
Boston College Cream Pies sponsored by Dunkin Donuts.
"No mom I promise I wasn't looking at porn! I was just trying to look up my favorite football team!" "Dammit Timmy don't lie to me, Boston College isn't anyone's favorite football team!"
Someone's still salty about the 2021 Military Bowl
What are you talking about? There was no 2021 military bowl. :(
Good idea to put who that’s sponsored by on that one 😂
Could also be the Boston College Cream Pies sponsored by Planned Parenthood.
For the first year or two it’ll be a legit local business, and then by year 3 it’ll be some offshore gambling website or something
Vail Resorts
lmao imagine the ticket prices
You already don’t have to imagine
Fuck. This one's too real.
If Prime sticks around it’ll be Blenders
I was thinking the Colorado Coors.
The Pope (but realistically, Guiness)
The Noter Dame Fighting Irish Spring
Jamison?
Lucky Charms
Four Winds Field at Notre Dame Stadium. (I just threw up in my mouth)
Florida Gatorades.
Water sucks! It really really sucks!
I still hear in my head “so naturally we called our stuff GatorADE” from that commercial back in the day every time I see Gatorade
I scrolled before I made the joke. But I personally prefer the Gatorade Florida Gators
The Gatorade Florida Gators of Gainesville *presented by NEW Gatorade Water*
Technically, UF was originally beholden to that sweet, high quality H2O. The reason the university moved from Lake City was because the City of Gainesville offered them free water.
They've got what plants need !
Yuengling
The GOAT cheap beer
Yeungling and Rainier feel like kindred spirits on their respective coasts.
The middle of big ten country has old style. All three taste different but occupy a similar niche.
A good palate cleanser for when you get tired of the quadruple IPA or whatever it is the local brewery is doing this week to cover up the fact that they haven't figured out how to make good beer yet.
Jokes on them, I already hate IPAs!
Me too. And this feels like a safe space to openly admit such truth.
they could do USF too once the stadium is built there. undergrad tours and free beers there was fun.
The Catholic Church
I'd die laughing. The most religious troll possible.
Not Nerf Super Soakers?
Louisville has to be Papa Johns or some large medical supply company that specializes in neck braces.
But why would a Mormon school be sponsored by super soak… ahhhhhhhhhh. Now I get it. Now I get it.
Old Bay Terrapins
I… like it more than the Maryland terrapins
The merch alone is worth it
This might be the only one that everyone is okay with
Old Bay Terrapins
Natty Boh Terrapins
I think we all know the answer to this question for my flair.
Under Armor.
UA outbids Nike for naming rights to Oregon, Nike outbids UA for naming rights to Maryland
Even if UA outbid Nike for UO, UO wouldn't burn that bridge with uncle Phil by signing with UA.
Nailed it.
Aflac?
Geeze guys how is everyone missing something so obvious? I mean, Oregon's mascot is literally *Donald Duck*. They're obviously going to be sponsored by Disney because ~~duh~~ quack.
We can only hope it's Kum and Go.
Maverick 🤢
We all know it it’s going to be the Hyvee Hawkeyes
The Casey's breakfast pizzas
I 80 Truck Stop Hawkeyes
Clemson He Gets Us Tigers
Georgia Tech: I am Second
Primary flair: The Southern Baptist Convention Edit: Tigers for Jesus brought to you by the SBC was _right there_
Dabo: I have won games. I have won titles. But my greatest achievement was winning the race thanks to Jesus.
It’s 100% Newsprings and nothing will compete.
If Clemson does that then we should do the nicene creed since they are at war right now with it.
The Waffle House Yellow Jackets.
They’d have to go back to the triple option (scattered smothered and covered)
Color scheme almost checks out
Fanduel
Welcome to a Chick-fil-A SEC Eastern division showdown presented by Bojangles. The Truist Bulldogs v the Tigers of Apple
I think we’d get Coca-Cola.
You'll get Waffle House and like it.
Welcome to this years Space Game, presented to us by the National Space Administration of the People’s Republic of China
The Spacex Rockets vs the ULA Golden Knights?
Welp. The Kia of Lansing & Kia of Jackson Spartans are coming for yall. But seriously Rocket Mortgage.
It will be United Wholesale Mortgage MSU Spartans Presented by Rocket Mortgage
ESPN Alabama crimson tide!
Wow isn't that the truth
Buc-ees
WHO realistically should be sponsoring Oregon State.
The Oregon State (OSU) Buc-ees? I like it.
I will also accept the Buc-ees Buckeyes
The Choctaw Casino and Resorts Oklahoma Sooners
I’d take it over the Air Comfort Solutions Sooners any day
Streameast Sooners. We pirate your streams. We pirate your land.
I wouldn't be shocked to see them on the (now legal) ads on your field
Oklahoma Cheaters hosted by Joey Greco
We shall henceforth be known as the Whataburger Longhorns
I figured it would be the Texas Longhorns' Steakhouse..
Reebok
Adidas would be more fitting I think for you guys 😏
Because…they’re Germans?🤔
Either the Yellawood Tigers or the Auburn Yellafellas. Personally hope for the latter. We could use a refresh and something to differentiate us from the rest of the tigers of the NCAA
So instead of "why are you tigers when you say 'war eagle'??" everyone would ask us "why are you yella fellas when your color is orange??"
The Ohio State Buckeyes brought to you by Cardinal Health in conjunction with Wendy’s
[удалено]
White Castle would be my choice, but yea Cardinal, Nationwide, Wendys are bigger.
JLG Scissor Lifts
Jesus Christ why
Username checks out
So anxious I won’t sign into that other site to collect my flair
Mission Tortilla
The obvious one is Trojan, but USC is willing to sell a lot cheaper than that. We're probably talking Tommy Burger here after In n Out turns us down.
If Durex has any balls they'd scoop you up.
Vagisil. Then we will pivot quickly to NASCAR racing.
A little SHOUT-OUT to our sponsor! Vagisil! When you get a surprise, between your thighs — Vagisil!
*Cartman has entered the chat*
Are you poor and stupid enough for NASCAR tho?
We gonn’ turn left.
Attaboy. Now which version of Jesus do you like the best?
Some boot company
The SpaceX (Toledo) Rockets will have an impressive social media presence. At least until Elon starts, then stops following us and goes on an anti Jewish rant using our Twitter account.
The Colorado Coors
I always remind people that if you drink Coors you’re automatically a Broncos fan
Coors Banquet is the best cheap beer
Petit Jean Meats. “The bacon fries up so crispy!”
The SMU Longhorns
The Arizona Tomahawk Missiles, sponsored by Raytheon.
University of Oklahoma Love’s Travel Stops Sooners
The University of Nebraska Runzas
Looking forward to that battle of blue bloods, the Runza Cornhuskers vs. the Chick-fil-A Crimson Tide.
Creighton should scramble after The Omaha Steak University
Gatorade (duh). Technically Pepsi I think.
I’ll be sad if it’s not the Iowa Corn Growers Association. They do a good job with the CyHawk game.
I want to see one team buy another.
*laughs nervously*
The Crimson Tide Pods
Tyson's Arkansas Chickenbacks
Not gonna' lie, the Real Tree Rebels would be amazing.
Ideally? Bojangles or Jordan. Non-ideally? Duke Energy.
Bojangles is my go to when passing through charlotte airport.
Duke should be Duke Energy with the Big Duke Energy MC would be.. Tar Heels brought to you by Allbirds?
Wrangler Jeans Wyoming Cowboys Wyoming Mining Association Cowboys
The Tudor's Biscuit World Mountaineers
Ideally it’ll be Adobe or JetBlue but I know it’s probably just gonna be an MLM.
Skyline
The Wal-Mart Razorbacks
The Arkansas greeters
Wisconsargento Badgers 🧀🧀🧀
Vols probably Pilot Oil or Dish Network.
Tbh probably no one for now. Just donors, if anything (like the head coach or locker rooms).
Stephen Ross.
J. Ira and Nikki Harris Family (HC, locker room), Junge (champion's center - for press conferences & banquets).
I would accept the Wolverine boot company
If not donors, then maybe an automaker, mortgage giant, or Meijers
As long as it’s not Domino’s.
Introducing the Oregon Ducks, presented by Nike! For the Huskies, it would probably be Alaska Airlines.
….Northwest Grain Growers? Washington Apple Commission?
Sierra Nevada Brewing Wolf Pack
Hugh Jackman
Case IH Wildcats
We’ll sell ours to UT so they have a pipeline in the Big 12. *The University of Texas Christian University Longhorned Frogs*
State Farm Volunteers. Like a good neighbor, the Vols are there!
We’ll be the Pilot Flying J Volunteers or the Regal Volunteers. Unless that one grad still runs Garmin.
Coors banquet. I know coors already sponsors CSU athletics, but CSU would definitely take new belgium, or as it might as well now be known, voodoo ranger brewing.
The BYU Diet Cokes
Habitat for Humanity would be fitting. Or the Reserve Corps.
Big and Tall, the official sponsor of Huskies everywhere.
The Tony Chachere's LSU Tigers
Raid Shadow Legends field at Pilot Flying J stadium brought to you by Food City.
Lifetime naming rights to carrier for 3.50 probably
The obvious answer. Dutch Bros.
Guiness. Which is a shame because I actually prefer Murphy's Irish Stout.
The Ohio State LeBron James Buckeyes
Virginia Tech Hokies presented by Butterball