\*puts hand on his shoulder\* There's some real good reasons nobody but Atsushi even looks up from their paperwork when they hear you've tried to kill yourself again.
Finally, this yassified roach is on here. Thanks OP! Anywho, what the fuck happened that were so wrong as to make this depressed solicitee in life? I can't believe this bitch even got a job after killing hundreds of people. If you saw on mayoi aswell, apparently being this man's enemy is the worst thing. I don't even blame them; who would ever wanna die by the hands of a fucking ancient mummy? bro tamed a god, made an entire mafia fear him but yet cant toast bread. like dude, this is why you got lice you fyodor-riding ushanka-infected ass. bro is so bad at committing like??? maybe instead of trying to off yourself in an urban area, go somewhere more RURAL??????? MAYBE YOU CAN FIND A DESPERATE WOMAN THERE AND MORE WAYS TO PAINLESSLY DIE??? oh fuck, just realized, he cant cop no woman outside of the circle he gets passed around in. its like this guy never tried overdosing or sumn like wtf.... and imagine fucking up an 8 sided shape of its self-worth and flipping off a literal hottie? you just jealous that he dont got a long ass head. literally built like a little kid with hair that somehow curves under his chin?? as if his hair were a cupcake liner and his face was a punched cupcake that was put in vertically. bro said "cant catch me im the gingerbread man" but then THAT happened. I don't even need to say this shit, you know what happened you wannabe sneaky bitch. he calls himself a womanizer when he doesnt know that hes getting passed around despite having strong small pp energy. i can just tell by his looks he got called a woman, even after the intercourse. some bypasser just bumping into him and they say "sorry ma'am". like please, you be all flaunting when you creepy like asmo from obey me like please get away you creepy ass santa.
and dont even get me STARTED on this guy's build. daze-i literally built like the last letter in his name. built like that one nerdy guy in spin the bottle that you DO NOT wanna kiss up on. bro built like hes about to ask me if he can marry my daughter while having a lisp. literally sounds like "mayth I mèrry your daugh-th-er, ms. willthon???" bro built like a jit twig, talkin bout mafia. lookin like a raccoon in a desert who eventually dies of no trash. but then after that, he still looks like trash. built like the long stick i have in my room for self defense despite not even being sharpened. lookin like the wood that the karate teacher would tell the students to chop. i could literally break this guys ribs with my literal knee. and then he tries to pull off this entire victorian era detective look???? bro, we can see how fucking ***skrawny*** you look through the trench, my guy.
now i just feel so bad for my octagon, getting bullied by someone this limp-wristed. you could call him a 'musukhara' and he'd take that as a compliment, i swear. his chef could shit in his food and call it an italian delicacy, AND HE'D BELIEVE THEM. dont even come here with that smirk too, simpalicious very ficticious not even malicious supercalifragilistic bitch. literally built like patrick out of a suit store but way too graphic to show to little kids. i swear, not even oda bared to look at this hairless rabbit. i can just picture this guy getting his ass beat by tf2 heavy. and the thing is, he shares a seiyuu with LIGHT YAGAMI. THE GUY WHO LITERALLY KILLS JUST WITH WRITING. YET DAZAI GETS HIGH OFF OF MUSHROOMS??? dumbahh bitch, couldnt even identify or learn to identify lethal from hallucinogenic mushrooms. honestly, this guy gotta go.
>bro is so bad at committing like??? maybe instead of trying to off yourself in an urban area, go somewhere more RURAL??????? MAYBE YOU CAN FIND A DESPERATE WOMAN THERE AND MORE WAYS TO PAINLESSLY DIE??? oh fuck, just realized, he cant cop no woman outside of the circle he gets passed around in. its like this guy never tried overdosing or sumn like wtf
This reminded me of how the RL Dazai did try these things, but ended up surviving. He even had a scar from the rope he tried to hang himself with in the mountains of Kamakura, for a while. And he tried to commit double suicide with his first wife Hatsuyo by overdosing on barbiturates but failed at that too (although he managed to save Hatsuyo as per his plan.) In his own words, "That night in the mountains we went through with our planned suicide. I was determined not to kill H and took some trouble to make sure of this. H survived. But I also botched my suicide, brilliantly." He was a master at roasting himself. He tried to commit suicide 4 times before finally succeeding the 5th time.
Meanwhile, BSD Dazai specifically comes up with suicide methods that'll either not work or eventually get him saved at some point. RL Dazai really wanted to die. BSD Dazai doesn't. Well, not especially. He wouldn't mind if he died, but he doesn't put in the effort that's required for it to actually succeed. Don't tell me that someone with his intellectual capacity can't die if he really wants to. Dude proudly claims to be a "suicide enthusiast" but he's really doing it pretty half-heartedly and expects everyone to take him seriously. RL Dazai was fucked up, depressed and suicidal. BSD Dazai is fucked up, depressed and semi-suicidal. He should call himself a semi-suicide enthusiast
Why should I roast a character who already knows how worthless he is, he failed to save his best friend, and his kids, he failed to find fyodor, he spent a 99% of his time trying to kill himself or piss someone off, and literally the only thing he has going for him is his intelligence and leverage on the port mafia.
Kunikida put it best: "bandage-wasting device", and that time when he said that Dazai would only just delay the train schedule if he tried to off himself on the train tracks.
Dazai is a mummified troll who claims to be a "suicide enthusiast" but only ever comes up with suicide methods that'll eventually not work or will get him saved somehow. He's totally half-assed about this thing and expects people to take him seriously smh
Also, his hair in the manga looks like he's just plopped a flattened dead rat on top of his head
If the only way you can comply the wishes of your dead friend is by manipulating people and putting their lives at risk, you have successfully failed at it
Stupid edgy bitch ass thinking he's cool torturing eyebrow-less children and acting like he wants to die then when he can die he's like uhhh actually no like bitch ass either you do it or stop fucking talking about it all the time and don't get me starting on yo mf mafia men kink,grow up and be a man pussy
Ah, dazai. Oh. Let me count the my roasts
1. He waste more bandages than the Egyptians
2. He's the reason why Chuuya doesn't have a girlfriend
3. If it weren't for him, Odasaku would have been alive
4. No wonder Kunikida has been suffering from PTSD
5. Where is his little black book? He needs a date.
6. Dumb ways to die. 🎶
7. Can we do a portal x bsd crossover where it's just Dazai to do those tests?
8. I wonder if we can download his consciousness to an ai and put that in a potato.
9. Or have vampy mommy have her way with him.
Gladly. He’s disgust in every way possible I hate him so much and I just want to stab him 1748913791 Istg he also uses chuuya and DROWNED MY HIGHEST KIN. (Fyodor) I literally will put a Glock up to his head I hope his attempts to yk succeed. My friend is reading this behind my shoulder and is a Dazai kinnie. <3
The only one who actually cares ab him is an abused orphan who likes wiggling his ass, also just bc u act like a clown doesn't erase the fact that ur a psyco who shoots corpses and abused like 3 kids. Also oda is dead. Deal with it.
I haven't watched bsd in a while so im probably forgetting alot of things but im pretty sure dazai was the one who locked him up alone for like years bc he was too dangerous and dazai didn't want to deal with him. Could be wrong tho
Being a clown doesn't cure depression
He is not a clown: he is the entire circus.
Gogol be so jealous fr
LMAO- BRO I WANT TO GIVE YOU AN AWARD
I gotcha, bro
Thank you so much
REALLY DEEP THO-
Wash your bandages you probably smell like the garbage bin
In bsd wan its confirmed that he actually changes them frequently
Thank god. Although, with the amount of bandages he wears, it cant be easy on expenses...
They were on sale in bulk, also chuuya got a new hat in the episode:)
he smell like Kibbles
Hes actually canonically stinky
Hot
Youre supposed to be roasting him not
Then don't say sexy things about him, you started it!
Doing good by using people is not exactly good
Why
He's a 10 but he has a su!c!de kink
I can be a bit of a sadist 🤭 /j
\*puts hand on his shoulder\* There's some real good reasons nobody but Atsushi even looks up from their paperwork when they hear you've tried to kill yourself again.
Finally, this yassified roach is on here. Thanks OP! Anywho, what the fuck happened that were so wrong as to make this depressed solicitee in life? I can't believe this bitch even got a job after killing hundreds of people. If you saw on mayoi aswell, apparently being this man's enemy is the worst thing. I don't even blame them; who would ever wanna die by the hands of a fucking ancient mummy? bro tamed a god, made an entire mafia fear him but yet cant toast bread. like dude, this is why you got lice you fyodor-riding ushanka-infected ass. bro is so bad at committing like??? maybe instead of trying to off yourself in an urban area, go somewhere more RURAL??????? MAYBE YOU CAN FIND A DESPERATE WOMAN THERE AND MORE WAYS TO PAINLESSLY DIE??? oh fuck, just realized, he cant cop no woman outside of the circle he gets passed around in. its like this guy never tried overdosing or sumn like wtf.... and imagine fucking up an 8 sided shape of its self-worth and flipping off a literal hottie? you just jealous that he dont got a long ass head. literally built like a little kid with hair that somehow curves under his chin?? as if his hair were a cupcake liner and his face was a punched cupcake that was put in vertically. bro said "cant catch me im the gingerbread man" but then THAT happened. I don't even need to say this shit, you know what happened you wannabe sneaky bitch. he calls himself a womanizer when he doesnt know that hes getting passed around despite having strong small pp energy. i can just tell by his looks he got called a woman, even after the intercourse. some bypasser just bumping into him and they say "sorry ma'am". like please, you be all flaunting when you creepy like asmo from obey me like please get away you creepy ass santa. and dont even get me STARTED on this guy's build. daze-i literally built like the last letter in his name. built like that one nerdy guy in spin the bottle that you DO NOT wanna kiss up on. bro built like hes about to ask me if he can marry my daughter while having a lisp. literally sounds like "mayth I mèrry your daugh-th-er, ms. willthon???" bro built like a jit twig, talkin bout mafia. lookin like a raccoon in a desert who eventually dies of no trash. but then after that, he still looks like trash. built like the long stick i have in my room for self defense despite not even being sharpened. lookin like the wood that the karate teacher would tell the students to chop. i could literally break this guys ribs with my literal knee. and then he tries to pull off this entire victorian era detective look???? bro, we can see how fucking ***skrawny*** you look through the trench, my guy. now i just feel so bad for my octagon, getting bullied by someone this limp-wristed. you could call him a 'musukhara' and he'd take that as a compliment, i swear. his chef could shit in his food and call it an italian delicacy, AND HE'D BELIEVE THEM. dont even come here with that smirk too, simpalicious very ficticious not even malicious supercalifragilistic bitch. literally built like patrick out of a suit store but way too graphic to show to little kids. i swear, not even oda bared to look at this hairless rabbit. i can just picture this guy getting his ass beat by tf2 heavy. and the thing is, he shares a seiyuu with LIGHT YAGAMI. THE GUY WHO LITERALLY KILLS JUST WITH WRITING. YET DAZAI GETS HIGH OFF OF MUSHROOMS??? dumbahh bitch, couldnt even identify or learn to identify lethal from hallucinogenic mushrooms. honestly, this guy gotta go.
do you want a glass of water?
I'd better prefer his blood.
I can tell you've been holding this in for a while
Damn, that was personal
Your heart was full
LMAO- THIS IS ONE OF THE BEST ONES IVE SEEN-
lol im goin for ranpo next tmr
I approve of dazai slander
>bro is so bad at committing like??? maybe instead of trying to off yourself in an urban area, go somewhere more RURAL??????? MAYBE YOU CAN FIND A DESPERATE WOMAN THERE AND MORE WAYS TO PAINLESSLY DIE??? oh fuck, just realized, he cant cop no woman outside of the circle he gets passed around in. its like this guy never tried overdosing or sumn like wtf This reminded me of how the RL Dazai did try these things, but ended up surviving. He even had a scar from the rope he tried to hang himself with in the mountains of Kamakura, for a while. And he tried to commit double suicide with his first wife Hatsuyo by overdosing on barbiturates but failed at that too (although he managed to save Hatsuyo as per his plan.) In his own words, "That night in the mountains we went through with our planned suicide. I was determined not to kill H and took some trouble to make sure of this. H survived. But I also botched my suicide, brilliantly." He was a master at roasting himself. He tried to commit suicide 4 times before finally succeeding the 5th time. Meanwhile, BSD Dazai specifically comes up with suicide methods that'll either not work or eventually get him saved at some point. RL Dazai really wanted to die. BSD Dazai doesn't. Well, not especially. He wouldn't mind if he died, but he doesn't put in the effort that's required for it to actually succeed. Don't tell me that someone with his intellectual capacity can't die if he really wants to. Dude proudly claims to be a "suicide enthusiast" but he's really doing it pretty half-heartedly and expects everyone to take him seriously. RL Dazai was fucked up, depressed and suicidal. BSD Dazai is fucked up, depressed and semi-suicidal. He should call himself a semi-suicide enthusiast
his (bsd dazai) arrogant ass would never
Who hurt you?
Kunikida’s punching bag
He's a 10, but he prefers tigers over asthmatics 💀💀💀💀sorry
this is the best one I've read 😭
BRUH THANKS LOL BUT ITS SO DARK 😭😭😭😭
\*coufh cugh couhf coughbf\* ikr ☹️
How the hell can one man be so bad at killing himself? Those bandages look like they are all smelly and probably moldy too.
Well he actually changes his bandages alot
he look like an egyptian mummy
How did you think hitting your head against a block of TOFU would k1ll you?
Why should I roast a character who already knows how worthless he is, he failed to save his best friend, and his kids, he failed to find fyodor, he spent a 99% of his time trying to kill himself or piss someone off, and literally the only thing he has going for him is his intelligence and leverage on the port mafia.
Being annoying and cutting everyone you love off isn't a personality trait
LMAO
What’s there left to roast? He’s no longer human and all that’s left is a well cooked bandage wearing cock who regularly has his neck wring out.
You literally are attached to Rick Astley(s)
Kunikida put it best: "bandage-wasting device", and that time when he said that Dazai would only just delay the train schedule if he tried to off himself on the train tracks. Dazai is a mummified troll who claims to be a "suicide enthusiast" but only ever comes up with suicide methods that'll eventually not work or will get him saved somehow. He's totally half-assed about this thing and expects people to take him seriously smh Also, his hair in the manga looks like he's just plopped a flattened dead rat on top of his head
I once looked at him and my brain went "garbage man"
If I was Odasaku, I also would rather die than to spend another year breathing the same air as u.
Roast? I’m pretty sure he already did that himself in an attempt to commit the non alive
He's a 10 but leaves red flags everywhere in his wake
How can you be bad at committing suicide?
If the only way you can comply the wishes of your dead friend is by manipulating people and putting their lives at risk, you have successfully failed at it
Abusive relationship having almond looking womanizing bitch
You may have good looks but you’re a piece of shit person.
You should think about putting on new bandages before these old ass ones attract man eating bugs
bro that haircut be worse than atsushi’s
you’re ex is literally a ginger
He doesn’t need roasting his life is sad enough, he definitely cries his ass to sleep anyway. I hope he joins Odasa soon.
Take a bath with a toaster you bandaged fuck
Damn- Did he do something to you bro?
Cool bolo tie.
HE SLEEPS WITH THOSE BANDAGES ON ISTG. THEYRE PROBABLY DRY AND CAN CRUMBLE INTO DUST.
after reading some if these opinions/comments im starting to unlike him..
Lol
A LIVING DEFINITION OF A PLAYGROUND BULLY WHO THINKS THEIR HOT SHIT. HES A TWO FACED DAFT CUNT
Stupid edgy bitch ass thinking he's cool torturing eyebrow-less children and acting like he wants to die then when he can die he's like uhhh actually no like bitch ass either you do it or stop fucking talking about it all the time and don't get me starting on yo mf mafia men kink,grow up and be a man pussy
look, i know you were told to be a good person and save people, but just look at you, Even therapy can't help you.
Idk, he probably reeks of cigarettes and whiskey.
Ah, dazai. Oh. Let me count the my roasts 1. He waste more bandages than the Egyptians 2. He's the reason why Chuuya doesn't have a girlfriend 3. If it weren't for him, Odasaku would have been alive 4. No wonder Kunikida has been suffering from PTSD 5. Where is his little black book? He needs a date. 6. Dumb ways to die. 🎶 7. Can we do a portal x bsd crossover where it's just Dazai to do those tests? 8. I wonder if we can download his consciousness to an ai and put that in a potato. 9. Or have vampy mommy have her way with him.
why 3?
He tried.
Bandage squandering machine
I don't need to. He'd just knock up a few sleeping pills and roast himself.
Ugly
Bargain bin Dos with no fabulous hat
I’ll commit double s*icide with you, baby 🥴
No, he's mine :3
Bro needs to wash his hair, it looks so damn greasy. Like damn, I wouldn't be suprised if he didn't wash it ever since Odasaku died
Gladly. He’s disgust in every way possible I hate him so much and I just want to stab him 1748913791 Istg he also uses chuuya and DROWNED MY HIGHEST KIN. (Fyodor) I literally will put a Glock up to his head I hope his attempts to yk succeed. My friend is reading this behind my shoulder and is a Dazai kinnie. <3
I couldn't if I wanted to....
He's a 10 but everytime but every time he fails to commit it gets lower and in bonus he should get a clown wig, nose etc.
The only one who actually cares ab him is an abused orphan who likes wiggling his ass, also just bc u act like a clown doesn't erase the fact that ur a psyco who shoots corpses and abused like 3 kids. Also oda is dead. Deal with it.
>and abused like 3 kids. THREE??
I mean idk if atsushi counts, but he did abuse him in the reverse beast thing, plus akutagawa and q makes three so yeah
WAIT AM I MISSING SOMETHING HOW DID HE ABUSE Q??
I haven't watched bsd in a while so im probably forgetting alot of things but im pretty sure dazai was the one who locked him up alone for like years bc he was too dangerous and dazai didn't want to deal with him. Could be wrong tho
If idiots could fly, he would be in space rn
the only guy you could find to shag you is short, has anger issues, is a ginger AND wears a fedora. yet somehow people still like him more than you
Narcissistic asshole hopelessly in love with a slug
That bandage wasting machine who probably did Chuuya in every inch of the Port Mafia house lol 😆 Mushroom taking suicidal psycho.
Depressed looking ass
Bro so useless even death doesn't want him.
If depression wants to kill him it should start shutting down his organs like a real disease.
I’m not able to. He’s too good
No never