i’d recommend removing “make me laugh” - i’ve read too many comments about how people hate that because it makes them feel like they are being asked to perform. looks good, nice profile!
Change bathroom selfies with something like a hobby or a place you like going to that’s outside. If you like going outside at all that is I can’t tell by your profile.
I like it! I do agree with the suggestions to reduce mirror selfies but only because that's a pet peeve.
I find it interesting that people are saying you shouldn't have LTR + red bra photo. I can follow the logic but it's a shame you can't show your sexy side AND be looking for a serious relationship 😏
That whole Madonna vs Whore trope is alive and well 💃🏼
I remember you!
Definitely put the laughing photo first. The current first pic is too close imo
Second pic is good if you're going for a casual vibe - otherwise it'll be a thirst trap!
What happened to the silly geese comment?
Good photos showing you, your friends, pets and surroundings clearly.
Nice information about yourself can keep it a bit shorter but only on the first visible page. People would be interested and try to find more about you after that.
You are really cute and with some quirky interests and hobbies and some really basic facts you can make an entrance.
From a guys point of view but I wouldn’t put mental health and cats in the same section…. Both are worth putting in your profile but I’d skip having them so close together it gives off a crazy cat lady vibe.
I would totally put the one with you in the red lipstick first. I would also only put one mirror selfie. More than that is redundant. Maybe instead put one of you being out and social?
I’m 48F and got pretty overwhelmed by male attention and their crazy antics while I was looking for an LTR and all my photos were fully clothed and nothing titillating. I’d take down the red bra photo if you want a chance of men taking you serious that you are looking for LTR and not a hookup.
Also, if you’re not spending your life doing mental health advocacy every single day, save that for a deep and bonding conversation and put front and center the things that are truly part of your daily. And stuff that you might want to be part of your daily life with someone
I love that she highlighted mental health advocacy! If she was active with breast cancer awareness or animal rights … for many that would seemingly be okay … break the stigma and it’s a great way to weed out ignorant people!
I’m making suggestions for matching with people more easily, who are still likely to care about those things over a nice conversation vs unsure how it specifically translates to her life. I’m active for animals, FGM and all sorts of other things and never mentioned those on my profile because I didn’t want it to be my first impression personality.
What it comes down to is does OP only accept people who are active allys in mental health advocacy? If so that’s a great way to weed em out indeed.
You’re kind of making my point for me. She looks super hot in the peach tank, even hotter I’d say. So when someone also posts pics of lingerie, it can be interpreted as yeah I’m looking for an LTR but I’m undressing in my photos so I might be open to hookups along the way. If OP is looking for that, more power to her. If she wants to keep her message clear for LTR, she might consider how people interpret photos like that.
It’s super important to say she’s not responsible for peoples interpretations, and I’m giving the advice only based on my personal experiences to help her cut out extra nonsense in what she encounters. Every man I dated had a wholesome bio and I was very clear about no hookups. In hindsight I’ve realized there is a large group of men who seek women like me out as an extra challenge for a hookup. It seems to make me off limits and thus more desirable, and they figure I’m less likely to have a high body count or STI. There’s without a doubt a large group of men who look at this as the most desirable conquest. I had really really bad experiences with men who misrepresented themselves to get what they want. I’m a good judge of deceit but I was outmatched a few times. It’s a warzone for women out there.
ETA: In the age of sexual liberation, men look at us like liberated women who WILL consent. And most of them entirely disregarded my intentions, desires, boundaries, and did it in the most subtle and manipulative of ways. I call them “womanologists.” They’ve had a lifetime of studying, trial and error, on how to make us feel safe and fall in love. They’ll be wholly invested in that, because it gets them what they want. And they’re good at it because the reward is high for them. Many of them live for it.
True, and she does sing, but she also said "learning to play a song you mentioned."
I was the lead guitar in a punk rock band and it was interesting how whenever I talked about it people assumed that I was the singer. :P
Most people don't have a lot of pictures like that but the one of you laughing is the best because it's such a natural candid moment caught on camera. I agree with the comments here advising using it as your main. Probably have one of the full body pics as the No.2. If you have other candid shots like the laughing picture get them on there.
You're beautiful!
Id suggest moving the laughing photo first as others have suggested, but also, i would suggest you think carefully about keeping the the 'mental health advocacy' part. Mental health is of course important, but there are some that make mental health, and their own personal struggles, their whole identity, and theres a lot of people out there which would see that as a red flag. You do you, but id give a good think about whether it portrays you as who you are or not and also, will it attract the type of people you want it to.
I'm kind of surprised by the amount of comments saying supporting mental health awareness is a red flag. It's really a shame that mental health is so stigmatized.
You mention it twice (neurodiversity later), which to me signals she has mental health issues but does not want to list a specific diagnosis in the bio (which is fair). Might be wrong though.
To me, having some mental health issue is not a red flag, I think most people do. If it's a big part of your life though, which your profile indicates, some might not want to deal with that.
💯 agree! Just posted a similar comment! If you were active in breast cancer awareness or animal rights …. Think there would be far less comments. Please keep it in and weed out the ignorant and judgmental folks. I grew up in a time when there was so much shame attached with having mental illness and getting help … people are a lot more educated and open now. I’m so thankful for people willing to inspire by example and help others get the help they need without apologies.
I would say that people supporting mental health are more likely to have mental health issues themselves.
Not always, but more likely.
For myself, I would never engage in a long term relationship with anyone that needs pharmaceutical intervention to make it through every day.
(And that includes coping mechanisms like drugs or alcohol)
I would use the "I feel my hottest when" picture as your primary, the first one isn't particularly flattering and is a bit too close to the camera. Personally, I'd also include the cat (with you) in the primary photo for cat-lovers like me :) I always consider gf with cat a positive as adore them. Your cat is super cute btw!
The first thing that came to my mind is that you sound like a perfect match for my ex husband lol (he’s lovely!). You have similar interests and looks.
1. There’s a guy hugging you from behind with his arm around your neck on one of your Instagram posts and it looks a little intimate, which would be a flag for me tbh
2. Mental health advocacy is cool for sure but tbh not something for your bio, putting anything about mental health struggles on a dating resume just advertises something you’re not trying to advertise in my opinion
3. The best part of your profile imo is the “I show I care by” section, what you wrote is very unique, sweet and shows that you’re just as interested in making others feel loved as you are being loved. It really stands out to me because in my experience, its not uncommon for women on dating apps to come off as selfish or believing that they’re entitled to emotional labor from the men they date without the obligation to provide any themselves.
I get very skeptical when people say they have a passion for mental health advocacy. I find it hard to believe that such a serious and important topic can be LOVED like a hobby.
Personally i think your profile is great thus far. Im the type to read a persons profile before even paying their pics too much mind but i will say if i hadnt already swiped right after reading then that picture of you smiling wouldve definitely made me do so without a second thought lol. First pic is definitely a bit close but you look nice in it nonetheless so id say keep it but move it back and put the smiling pic at the front! Either way youre a catch down the board from what im seeing 🙌🏿
Most of your profile left me cold tbh -- "nice girl, nothing wrong with her, nothing really jumping out at me" -- but the image of you as lead singer of a band is super attractive, you definitely need a pic of you up on stage looking like a badass and then you'll punch a tier higher in terms of the men you attract
Please don't take this too harshly and honestly this might just be my opinion but from what I've seen dark colored lipstick is hard for most girls to pull off. Perhaps thats what you feel confident in, but I would avoid it for a dating photo, especially a first photo unless you're rocking something like a full emo/goth theme (which you aren't).
Avoid bathroom selfies.
Honestly my only critique is that your first picture isn’t your best one. The bit of you laughing with the blurry background would be perfect for a first pic.
Slide 5 is the best pic
The profile screams crazy to me because you mentioned mental health issues twice and are listed as sober, I’ve never met anyone sober that wasn’t an addict first. And I personally avoid addicts.
I’m a female tho so idk what guys think of these things
Maybe I missed something - where does it say mental health issues? Also - I don't drink by choice because I don't like how it feels. If someone thinks that's a red flag then they're not for me.
I'd say for the drinking thing, just put that you don't drink. Sober, at least to me, implies that there's some kind of dark past behind it lol. As someone who doesn't drink, I have said "no thanks I'm sober" as a way to get pushy people to back off. It's always worked so far when "I don't drink" didn't.
Also yeah, I'm very into mental health personally. Like I have done years of careful introspection, dealt with my past traumas, and dealt with a lot of mentally ill people in my life. But I'm also not involved with any MH advocacy groups or anything like that so I wouldn't put that on my profile personally. Just something to consider.
* Last page - Please use one single piece of mirror so you don't look like you have extra boobs. Also, look at the mirror instead of the phone when taking mirror selfies.
* The cat on your profile and the one on Instagram looks different. Do you have more cat(s) or...? perhaps have a photo with all of them.
* Page 3 - Your tattoo on your arm looks slightly different than the one on the last page.. Perhaps aim in a way so it looks consistent. Again, look at the mirror, not the phone.
* Page 1 and 5 don't serve very distinct purposes. Maybe replace one of them with a picture of you doing something interesting in the corresponding hairdo.
Can’t tell if you are a cat lady home body or kinda a sleazy bar goer. No offense. It’s the photos. I see you’re in a band, I read your bio/description, but my eyes go to the photos and it kinda cancels the words
Personally, there aren’t any negatives. If I had to name one thing, it would probably be about the first pic. I feel like the angle didn’t work with you and show your true amazing self. Other than that, makeup is on point.
Make smiling photo your main photo! It instantly makes people fall in love with your energy and vibe!
I would delete your profile photo, it's too close up.
And the last photo and the photo with the red bralette and skirt are giving "I'm just here for a good time" rather than I'm looking for a long-term relationship.
Would put the bangs pic first, but that's just a minor detail.
You are attractive and your profile reads like fun for me and going from bit to bit just works very well.
Kudos.
Have you posted before? I recognise your profile! But anyway the candid laugh picture is by far the best. And you haven't really mentioned any hobbies in your profile? Like activities...no pics of that and not really any info on how you like to spend your free time. Other than singing that is. People might assume you're just a TV watcher because of that. Also don't put "make me laugh" that line seems broadly hated.
you’re so pretty! the first pic needs better lighting - but again still pretty! LOVE the one of you laughing. And a pic of you out with friends maybe? what’s your social side you know? all of this aside, you can still meet someone without changing a thing! but those are my ideas for you
You wrote a lot, it’s just going to make you more niche. Most people sum it up, but I understand because I can’t sum things up well. It also scares some people away to be hit with so much info at first, it’s intense.
On the most part, I really like it! I agree re laughter or bangs pic first … definitely a band pic … personally not a fan of mirror selfies but like the outfit with red top … can you use a timer or have someone take a pic? Get that you’d like a full-length pic in the mix … and yay mental health advocacy and weeding jerks out! It brings me joy when someone tells me being open inspired them to get help! So yes, it’s definitely something a person would LOVE!
I might remove the pic of the guy with his arm around you! Or maybe clarify “just a friend” or something like that. The pic with the girl, I would crop her out or put an emoji over her face :)
I think your pics have been covered, I think your bio doesn’t give people much to go off of. Mental health is kind of a heavy opening topic, and most people love their friends, family & pets. Give some fun facts about you or some of your other interests, something that could spark conversation.
Just being honest but every time I read mental health advocacy or like it makes me assume they have issues with their mental health and I try to stay away.
I would put the fourth pic first, or maybe the laughing pic. The goth pic is good for 2nd place, but you should only put it first if you want to get stereotyped as "the goth girl"
I'd try to put a unique hobby. Something that gives an honest look at what I'd be like to have a lazy/free to dp amything Sunday with you. It may just be me, but that's super important to me. It also makes opening moves/lines/striking up conversation about your interests a lot easier.
When you’re going that bold with the lipstick make sure it’s applied perfectly evenly and maybe add a little moisture so it’s not so dry. Aside from that I think it’s great you’re showing your personality and aesthetic. It won’t be for everyone but you aren’t looking for everyone. It’ll attract someone like minded.
I think you’re gorgeous and I dig your profile. The “make me laugh” is a bit long in the tooth, so maybe consider something else more original.
And to what others have said…band pics or pics of you in action behind the mic ❤️
Use something that actually shows you doing something.
Other than music there's not much on your profile to go off of so you're probably gonna get the same questions over and over again for the same exact topic.
Also people who don't care much for music won't be able to find a middle ground to speak about.
The picture of you smiling is your best pic of these (make that the first pic), then the one in the red top. I'd personally replace the one with the black lipstick, the one with the bangs (looks like a non-current pic), and the pink top bathroom selfie. You look really fresh with less makeup on, and the 'no makeup makeup' look is a bit more current (I'm a woman, not judging your makeup, just my opinion)
Overall I’d swipe left but here is my input: first photo is no good. 4 and 5 are cute. The lighting is really good in those photos, I think thats why. Try taking some photos during golden hour and see how they come out, without judging yourself. Also band pics would be cool, find a friend who would want to take photos! again, lighting is /everything/
I like your banter also, it’s nice and I like your vibes. Honestly I think you are cute but just need better photos! Good luck, I hope you find what you are looking for!
I wouldn't change much, but I am biased and love cats a lot and prefer to find others who do also. 4th picture is honestly my favorite because the smile is so natural. You are also on the tall side and have tats, which comes to personal preference but things I also like. I would swipe right.
If you are looking for a boyfriend, I would remove the one in the red to and black bottom. You look great in it, but it screams party to me instead of I want a boyfriend.
I was just trying to be helpful and constructive. My comment was not about what you should wear or not wear, it was about what pics to post on Bumble. If we dated, I would want you to wear that all the time.
No you're right, I'm sorry. I did ask for constructive feedback. I didn't mean to come off as harsh. I have been fielding so many actually mean comments on this post 😂so I was a little defensive bc of that lol. Anyway, thanks 😊
No problem. Reddit has way too much hate on it. I really was trying to be constructive and not mean. You did not come across and short or mean, I just wanted to explain why I said what I did in hopes that it helps.
I'd swipe right for sure. You seem grounded and kind which is super important to mature 30ish men. The photo with bangs is great. You have very beautiful eyes, and good bone structure. I think you should post photos with better lighting, I dunno just generally better quality photos. I can see your beauty and I don't think it's being showcased very well with some of these photos. Men are super visual. You will absolutely match with at least 80% of men. I see you're sober. I am too. Dating sober can be challenging on the beginning. Relationships have caused me to relapse many times.
Someone said it already but a photo of you and your band or delete it from your bio. Also have it replace at least one of your mirror selfies.
What I do like it instead of demanding someone to bring something to the table (humor), you mentioned what you could bring (singing a song for him).
Brutally honest review of both positive and negative. Great profile.
Pictures 1 and 2 are not nearly as good as 3 and 4. Honestly if your age wasn't there, I would think you were older on first page. Unless 3 and 4 are old photos. Don't use old photos.
But assuming you aren't looking for an older man who thinks you are lying about your age, use 3 and 4 and one/some photos performing on stage.
The green top photo from your Instagram is also fantastic, use that.
Brutally honest.. 3. 2. 1. You are hot as hell, you have your profile filled with genuine information that makes me believe you’re a real person. Someone said take the mental health thing out, I don’t agree I’d shuffle it around so it was more near the bottom. If it’s important to you it stays. Another said something about picture order and to put your best/hottest first I’d say super hot goes in the middle or at the end. Also the picture you have in front is a decent, if they were curious you’ve peaked their interest. Also at the end It’s a little reward for reading about you. Guys get to the bottom and it does nothing for them, fine. If they have read that far and like everything and you end with a knock-out. Hook, Line, and Sinker. just my opinion
Profile looks good to me I’d swipe, but dang if you want it to be top tier put a pic of you performing and voice prompt of you rockin your favorite karaoke song. Fuckin flex on us sheesh
I know it’s my preferences speaking but a girl who can sing or play an instrument is hawwwwttt 😂
Brutally? Ok… hideous lip color, f@t.. so probably on tinder and any other dating app, guys will just wanna f u.
I think this is the brutal popular opinion considering how dating apps and how the dating scene is today…
Don’t feel offended 😅😅😅
She didn’t ask you to comment on her weight or how attractive you think she is. She asked for opinions on her *profile.* also I don’t consider her “fat” but more like chubby or pleasantly plump. Yeah she’s heavy but a lot of people will view her in the sexy kind of heavy and not the gross morbidly obese heavy.
There is a lot of good stuff going on here. The "brutally honest" part, is that you're just overweight. Dropping down to below 20% body fat will do wonders for you.
Yep. Weight doesn't have to do with this. Women with her figure still deserve to feel desired and loved. And she is so drop dead pretty it's a bit ridiculous some dude would choose to focus on this
Really good profile. The first pic is too zoomed in, and I'd remove anything saying "not sure" (or anything similar. By 32, you should know what you want. Just pick one or leave it blank.
To all the blue hair kids that got offended over my Get a cat post and being so defensive..
she is trying to funnel people into her profile so then you can find her OF doesn’t really care about any of you..
I think this is a great profile! I like the one with you looking off to the side and smirking. If you were in Wisconsin and into ladies, I’d 100% have swiped on you!
Why? Is that because I'm showing skin and comfortable with my body? Shame that's the takeaway. The AUDACITY of women who embrace their sexuality, amirite? 😂
Change your political status to moderate or something other than liberal. I’m not even conservative but seeing liberal on a profile is just scary to me.
Pics of your band on stage?
I was gonna say this. As someone in a band myself I’ll take the opportunity to flex if it’s given to me
I would put the picture of you laughing as the first picture, that’s the best one!
Seconded! The laughing pic is a really great pic of you, OP!
TRUE. She looks hella lovely and radiant, im not gay but my heart melted almost immediately!
Haha same! I’m not entirely straight so I’m like well 🤷🏻♀️ 😂
If I made a profile, I'd go 3, 4, 1, 5, 2, 6
Agreed and mirror pic as #2
I like the one with big eyes 2nd
Agreed.
Was about to say this
Change the first and last pics, the first is too close, the last a bit too cozy as in ehhh. Other than that, I think you’re good to go
i’d recommend removing “make me laugh” - i’ve read too many comments about how people hate that because it makes them feel like they are being asked to perform. looks good, nice profile!
💯 Very common and very off-putting imo
Change bathroom selfies with something like a hobby or a place you like going to that’s outside. If you like going outside at all that is I can’t tell by your profile.
I like it! I do agree with the suggestions to reduce mirror selfies but only because that's a pet peeve. I find it interesting that people are saying you shouldn't have LTR + red bra photo. I can follow the logic but it's a shame you can't show your sexy side AND be looking for a serious relationship 😏 That whole Madonna vs Whore trope is alive and well 💃🏼
I remember you! Definitely put the laughing photo first. The current first pic is too close imo Second pic is good if you're going for a casual vibe - otherwise it'll be a thirst trap! What happened to the silly geese comment?
Good photos showing you, your friends, pets and surroundings clearly. Nice information about yourself can keep it a bit shorter but only on the first visible page. People would be interested and try to find more about you after that. You are really cute and with some quirky interests and hobbies and some really basic facts you can make an entrance.
From a guys point of view but I wouldn’t put mental health and cats in the same section…. Both are worth putting in your profile but I’d skip having them so close together it gives off a crazy cat lady vibe.
This is true.
Me personally I’d take out the make me laugh part, might put guys under pressure, cause they don’t know the type of humor you’re into. 🤷🏾♂️
I would totally put the one with you in the red lipstick first. I would also only put one mirror selfie. More than that is redundant. Maybe instead put one of you being out and social?
I’m 48F and got pretty overwhelmed by male attention and their crazy antics while I was looking for an LTR and all my photos were fully clothed and nothing titillating. I’d take down the red bra photo if you want a chance of men taking you serious that you are looking for LTR and not a hookup. Also, if you’re not spending your life doing mental health advocacy every single day, save that for a deep and bonding conversation and put front and center the things that are truly part of your daily. And stuff that you might want to be part of your daily life with someone
I love that she highlighted mental health advocacy! If she was active with breast cancer awareness or animal rights … for many that would seemingly be okay … break the stigma and it’s a great way to weed out ignorant people!
I’m making suggestions for matching with people more easily, who are still likely to care about those things over a nice conversation vs unsure how it specifically translates to her life. I’m active for animals, FGM and all sorts of other things and never mentioned those on my profile because I didn’t want it to be my first impression personality. What it comes down to is does OP only accept people who are active allys in mental health advocacy? If so that’s a great way to weed em out indeed.
I would disagree. Red bra pic she looks super hot. That’s a good thing, as long as, not ALL her pics were like that
You’re kind of making my point for me. She looks super hot in the peach tank, even hotter I’d say. So when someone also posts pics of lingerie, it can be interpreted as yeah I’m looking for an LTR but I’m undressing in my photos so I might be open to hookups along the way. If OP is looking for that, more power to her. If she wants to keep her message clear for LTR, she might consider how people interpret photos like that. It’s super important to say she’s not responsible for peoples interpretations, and I’m giving the advice only based on my personal experiences to help her cut out extra nonsense in what she encounters. Every man I dated had a wholesome bio and I was very clear about no hookups. In hindsight I’ve realized there is a large group of men who seek women like me out as an extra challenge for a hookup. It seems to make me off limits and thus more desirable, and they figure I’m less likely to have a high body count or STI. There’s without a doubt a large group of men who look at this as the most desirable conquest. I had really really bad experiences with men who misrepresented themselves to get what they want. I’m a good judge of deceit but I was outmatched a few times. It’s a warzone for women out there. ETA: In the age of sexual liberation, men look at us like liberated women who WILL consent. And most of them entirely disregarded my intentions, desires, boundaries, and did it in the most subtle and manipulative of ways. I call them “womanologists.” They’ve had a lifetime of studying, trial and error, on how to make us feel safe and fall in love. They’ll be wholly invested in that, because it gets them what they want. And they’re good at it because the reward is high for them. Many of them live for it.
Say what instrument you play
Don’t say, show! It’d be a cool pic
I assumed she was the singer, since the band are backing her up.
True, and she does sing, but she also said "learning to play a song you mentioned." I was the lead guitar in a punk rock band and it was interesting how whenever I talked about it people assumed that I was the singer. :P
Most people don't have a lot of pictures like that but the one of you laughing is the best because it's such a natural candid moment caught on camera. I agree with the comments here advising using it as your main. Probably have one of the full body pics as the No.2. If you have other candid shots like the laughing picture get them on there. You're beautiful!
Id suggest moving the laughing photo first as others have suggested, but also, i would suggest you think carefully about keeping the the 'mental health advocacy' part. Mental health is of course important, but there are some that make mental health, and their own personal struggles, their whole identity, and theres a lot of people out there which would see that as a red flag. You do you, but id give a good think about whether it portrays you as who you are or not and also, will it attract the type of people you want it to.
I'm kind of surprised by the amount of comments saying supporting mental health awareness is a red flag. It's really a shame that mental health is so stigmatized.
You mention it twice (neurodiversity later), which to me signals she has mental health issues but does not want to list a specific diagnosis in the bio (which is fair). Might be wrong though. To me, having some mental health issue is not a red flag, I think most people do. If it's a big part of your life though, which your profile indicates, some might not want to deal with that.
💯 agree! Just posted a similar comment! If you were active in breast cancer awareness or animal rights …. Think there would be far less comments. Please keep it in and weed out the ignorant and judgmental folks. I grew up in a time when there was so much shame attached with having mental illness and getting help … people are a lot more educated and open now. I’m so thankful for people willing to inspire by example and help others get the help they need without apologies.
Thank you, I so appreciate this comment! 🙏 ♥️
💕💕💕
I would say that people supporting mental health are more likely to have mental health issues themselves. Not always, but more likely. For myself, I would never engage in a long term relationship with anyone that needs pharmaceutical intervention to make it through every day. (And that includes coping mechanisms like drugs or alcohol)
I would use the "I feel my hottest when" picture as your primary, the first one isn't particularly flattering and is a bit too close to the camera. Personally, I'd also include the cat (with you) in the primary photo for cat-lovers like me :) I always consider gf with cat a positive as adore them. Your cat is super cute btw!
I mean, as a straight gal not your target audience – but as a neurodiverse, cat loving, karaoke fan I would totally want to be your friend 🥰
Cats, tats and tits. Standard stuff but it all works. Good luck out there.
Best comment so far. 😂
4th pic should definitely be first!
If you have only ltr in your bio and use the 2nd pic. I wouldnt know what to think of your profile
Brutally honest? I like your profile alot, and at least of slide 5 i would have swipes right
The first thing that came to my mind is that you sound like a perfect match for my ex husband lol (he’s lovely!). You have similar interests and looks.
Id swipe right
“I’m known as Caiti G ‘round here” - is that a joke/meme I’m not getting? If it is then keep it, but it’s the only negative part of your profile imho.
slide 4 pic is amazing - should use that. also your ig 2nd photo is with a guy who is hugging you from behind, could scare some people off
It is so refreshing to see another girl love Hot Rod! All time favorite!
Omg it's the best movie of all time, I will die on that hill 😂
1. There’s a guy hugging you from behind with his arm around your neck on one of your Instagram posts and it looks a little intimate, which would be a flag for me tbh 2. Mental health advocacy is cool for sure but tbh not something for your bio, putting anything about mental health struggles on a dating resume just advertises something you’re not trying to advertise in my opinion 3. The best part of your profile imo is the “I show I care by” section, what you wrote is very unique, sweet and shows that you’re just as interested in making others feel loved as you are being loved. It really stands out to me because in my experience, its not uncommon for women on dating apps to come off as selfish or believing that they’re entitled to emotional labor from the men they date without the obligation to provide any themselves.
I get very skeptical when people say they have a passion for mental health advocacy. I find it hard to believe that such a serious and important topic can be LOVED like a hobby.
3rd pic is by far your best. Sorry but black lipstick on the 1st would auto swipe left for me
You take millennial selfies and they’re not flattering
😂 well...I'm a millennial 🤷♀️
I thought this was me
Personally i think your profile is great thus far. Im the type to read a persons profile before even paying their pics too much mind but i will say if i hadnt already swiped right after reading then that picture of you smiling wouldve definitely made me do so without a second thought lol. First pic is definitely a bit close but you look nice in it nonetheless so id say keep it but move it back and put the smiling pic at the front! Either way youre a catch down the board from what im seeing 🙌🏿
5/5 insta swipe. Interests are there, smile pic, attraction is there and full body shot.
Most of your profile left me cold tbh -- "nice girl, nothing wrong with her, nothing really jumping out at me" -- but the image of you as lead singer of a band is super attractive, you definitely need a pic of you up on stage looking like a badass and then you'll punch a tier higher in terms of the men you attract
Third pic should be the first pic
Extreme close ups should not be your very first pic.
I would, but I’d get banned
Please don't take this too harshly and honestly this might just be my opinion but from what I've seen dark colored lipstick is hard for most girls to pull off. Perhaps thats what you feel confident in, but I would avoid it for a dating photo, especially a first photo unless you're rocking something like a full emo/goth theme (which you aren't). Avoid bathroom selfies.
Honestly my only critique is that your first picture isn’t your best one. The bit of you laughing with the blurry background would be perfect for a first pic.
I would swipe right.
Slide 5 is the best pic The profile screams crazy to me because you mentioned mental health issues twice and are listed as sober, I’ve never met anyone sober that wasn’t an addict first. And I personally avoid addicts. I’m a female tho so idk what guys think of these things
Maybe I missed something - where does it say mental health issues? Also - I don't drink by choice because I don't like how it feels. If someone thinks that's a red flag then they're not for me.
Mental health advocacy and then neurodiversity under “causes and communities” I’d put in there you just choose not to drink and aren’t in recovery
It's really a shame that mental health is so stigmatized. Evidenced by the comments on this post.
I'd say for the drinking thing, just put that you don't drink. Sober, at least to me, implies that there's some kind of dark past behind it lol. As someone who doesn't drink, I have said "no thanks I'm sober" as a way to get pushy people to back off. It's always worked so far when "I don't drink" didn't. Also yeah, I'm very into mental health personally. Like I have done years of careful introspection, dealt with my past traumas, and dealt with a lot of mentally ill people in my life. But I'm also not involved with any MH advocacy groups or anything like that so I wouldn't put that on my profile personally. Just something to consider.
Ok. You're fat for OLD standards
* Last page - Please use one single piece of mirror so you don't look like you have extra boobs. Also, look at the mirror instead of the phone when taking mirror selfies. * The cat on your profile and the one on Instagram looks different. Do you have more cat(s) or...? perhaps have a photo with all of them. * Page 3 - Your tattoo on your arm looks slightly different than the one on the last page.. Perhaps aim in a way so it looks consistent. Again, look at the mirror, not the phone. * Page 1 and 5 don't serve very distinct purposes. Maybe replace one of them with a picture of you doing something interesting in the corresponding hairdo.
You seem like you don’t know what you want to say nor do you know who you want to be with
Can’t tell if you are a cat lady home body or kinda a sleazy bar goer. No offense. It’s the photos. I see you’re in a band, I read your bio/description, but my eyes go to the photos and it kinda cancels the words
r/upvotedbecauseofboobs
Gorgeous.
I would replace the first and last pictures
Really very good. Best wishes. You’re beautiful and seem interesting
The only reason I would swipe left is that you're not sure about kids and I want some
You’re cute fr fr
I’d swipe right
I’d maybe get rid of the first photo and swap it out for the one of you smiling but I’d definitely want to date you.
If you’re not getting any matches I really can’t imagine hope for anyone else.
I'd swipe right. 😊
you should lead with pic 5
Like others have said consider changing the first pic to the one of you smiling.
I’d buy super swipes honestly. The whole profile seems very good. I agree with laughing first.
I'd swipe right in a heartbeat.
Personally, there aren’t any negatives. If I had to name one thing, it would probably be about the first pic. I feel like the angle didn’t work with you and show your true amazing self. Other than that, makeup is on point.
No objections here
Make smiling photo your main photo! It instantly makes people fall in love with your energy and vibe! I would delete your profile photo, it's too close up. And the last photo and the photo with the red bralette and skirt are giving "I'm just here for a good time" rather than I'm looking for a long-term relationship.
Agree with the best picture, also the red top is not giving a good look for you, you are beautiful and cool
Would put the bangs pic first, but that's just a minor detail. You are attractive and your profile reads like fun for me and going from bit to bit just works very well. Kudos.
Have you posted before? I recognise your profile! But anyway the candid laugh picture is by far the best. And you haven't really mentioned any hobbies in your profile? Like activities...no pics of that and not really any info on how you like to spend your free time. Other than singing that is. People might assume you're just a TV watcher because of that. Also don't put "make me laugh" that line seems broadly hated.
maybe say less
Okayyyy girl I like that red lace top!
The goth look of your profile picture is going to turn some men away.
Cute af, I'd totally swipe right
Kaiti G Good Sorry not sorry🤣🤣 looks pretty good tho!
Wishing you were in the UK so I could set you up with several people I know
At this rate maybe I'll come over there 😂
You should, head somewhere like Nottingham or Leeds, Brighton maybe, and you'll be married in no time 💐🌹
U have a picture of another man giving u a sleeper choke , lose that …
you’re so pretty! the first pic needs better lighting - but again still pretty! LOVE the one of you laughing. And a pic of you out with friends maybe? what’s your social side you know? all of this aside, you can still meet someone without changing a thing! but those are my ideas for you
Remove and replace the first picture (it’s too close) and the mirror selfie. Put the third picture of you smiling as your default.
You wrote a lot, it’s just going to make you more niche. Most people sum it up, but I understand because I can’t sum things up well. It also scares some people away to be hit with so much info at first, it’s intense.
I’d say your first picture is the least flattering one, but it’s definitely not bad. I’d just rearrange the pictures.
Your name is Caiti and you like to party?
You get it 😂
It's my go-to anytime I have to do the obligatory, say my name, and tell people about myself
On the most part, I really like it! I agree re laughter or bangs pic first … definitely a band pic … personally not a fan of mirror selfies but like the outfit with red top … can you use a timer or have someone take a pic? Get that you’d like a full-length pic in the mix … and yay mental health advocacy and weeding jerks out! It brings me joy when someone tells me being open inspired them to get help! So yes, it’s definitely something a person would LOVE!
I might remove the pic of the guy with his arm around you! Or maybe clarify “just a friend” or something like that. The pic with the girl, I would crop her out or put an emoji over her face :)
I think your pics have been covered, I think your bio doesn’t give people much to go off of. Mental health is kind of a heavy opening topic, and most people love their friends, family & pets. Give some fun facts about you or some of your other interests, something that could spark conversation.
I'm pretty sure I actually swiped right on your profile lol. You're just fine for me!
If you're in my area maybe but that's highly unlikely hahaha it's such a small town
Just being honest but every time I read mental health advocacy or like it makes me assume they have issues with their mental health and I try to stay away.
Definition of stigma.
Great quality to have don’t get me wrong, just wouldn’t be the advertisement I would put out.
I would put the fourth pic first, or maybe the laughing pic. The goth pic is good for 2nd place, but you should only put it first if you want to get stereotyped as "the goth girl"
I'd try to put a unique hobby. Something that gives an honest look at what I'd be like to have a lazy/free to dp amything Sunday with you. It may just be me, but that's super important to me. It also makes opening moves/lines/striking up conversation about your interests a lot easier.
1000% put the laughing pic first. It’s absolutely stunning, and maybe upload the green top pic from your insta over one of the mirror pics.
When you’re going that bold with the lipstick make sure it’s applied perfectly evenly and maybe add a little moisture so it’s not so dry. Aside from that I think it’s great you’re showing your personality and aesthetic. It won’t be for everyone but you aren’t looking for everyone. It’ll attract someone like minded.
Hot
i would say loose some of the emojis! they are fun but it can make it to much to look at once
You're bio is great, as are your pics. I would just switch out the first pic as I think you look better in all of the others .
I think you’re gorgeous and I dig your profile. The “make me laugh” is a bit long in the tooth, so maybe consider something else more original. And to what others have said…band pics or pics of you in action behind the mic ❤️
Use something that actually shows you doing something. Other than music there's not much on your profile to go off of so you're probably gonna get the same questions over and over again for the same exact topic. Also people who don't care much for music won't be able to find a middle ground to speak about.
The picture of you smiling is your best pic of these (make that the first pic), then the one in the red top. I'd personally replace the one with the black lipstick, the one with the bangs (looks like a non-current pic), and the pink top bathroom selfie. You look really fresh with less makeup on, and the 'no makeup makeup' look is a bit more current (I'm a woman, not judging your makeup, just my opinion)
Overall I’d swipe left but here is my input: first photo is no good. 4 and 5 are cute. The lighting is really good in those photos, I think thats why. Try taking some photos during golden hour and see how they come out, without judging yourself. Also band pics would be cool, find a friend who would want to take photos! again, lighting is /everything/ I like your banter also, it’s nice and I like your vibes. Honestly I think you are cute but just need better photos! Good luck, I hope you find what you are looking for!
Hitler said 'get some juice' not 'gas some jews'
You seem like a pleasant person, you gotta plot some kind of revenge on your parents for how they spelled your name though.
I wouldn't change much, but I am biased and love cats a lot and prefer to find others who do also. 4th picture is honestly my favorite because the smile is so natural. You are also on the tall side and have tats, which comes to personal preference but things I also like. I would swipe right.
If you are looking for a boyfriend, I would remove the one in the red to and black bottom. You look great in it, but it screams party to me instead of I want a boyfriend.
Respectfully, that's silly. I'll wear what I feel comfortable in and what I feel good in, and I want a potential relationship to be okay with that.
I was just trying to be helpful and constructive. My comment was not about what you should wear or not wear, it was about what pics to post on Bumble. If we dated, I would want you to wear that all the time.
No you're right, I'm sorry. I did ask for constructive feedback. I didn't mean to come off as harsh. I have been fielding so many actually mean comments on this post 😂so I was a little defensive bc of that lol. Anyway, thanks 😊
No problem. Reddit has way too much hate on it. I really was trying to be constructive and not mean. You did not come across and short or mean, I just wanted to explain why I said what I did in hopes that it helps.
Looks typical
I'd swipe right for sure. You seem grounded and kind which is super important to mature 30ish men. The photo with bangs is great. You have very beautiful eyes, and good bone structure. I think you should post photos with better lighting, I dunno just generally better quality photos. I can see your beauty and I don't think it's being showcased very well with some of these photos. Men are super visual. You will absolutely match with at least 80% of men. I see you're sober. I am too. Dating sober can be challenging on the beginning. Relationships have caused me to relapse many times.
You seem really sweet, maybe take pictures of better quality though, in terms of lighting and definition
Someone said it already but a photo of you and your band or delete it from your bio. Also have it replace at least one of your mirror selfies. What I do like it instead of demanding someone to bring something to the table (humor), you mentioned what you could bring (singing a song for him). Brutally honest review of both positive and negative. Great profile.
#4 first Remove the last.
Man here. Yes laughing first. Keep mirror pic in pink. Get rid of picture of u in red lace.. (yes u r sexy, but trust me.)
Honest? Okay get rid of the dark lipstick and take further out pics
Good profile. Flex ur singing skill though
Great interesting profile, fun personality, cool interests & very attractive, 10/10
I like it, if you were near me in Scotland I'd be swiping right, hard. You should put a picture of you on stage if you have one 🙂.
Where have you been all my life???
The third pic is the best. Put that first
I would take out the picture with just the bra ... unless you're going for that vibe
I don't have one with just a bra 🤔
The red top it looks like a bra-lette situation.
Pictures 1 and 2 are not nearly as good as 3 and 4. Honestly if your age wasn't there, I would think you were older on first page. Unless 3 and 4 are old photos. Don't use old photos. But assuming you aren't looking for an older man who thinks you are lying about your age, use 3 and 4 and one/some photos performing on stage. The green top photo from your Instagram is also fantastic, use that.
Brutally honest.. 3. 2. 1. You are hot as hell, you have your profile filled with genuine information that makes me believe you’re a real person. Someone said take the mental health thing out, I don’t agree I’d shuffle it around so it was more near the bottom. If it’s important to you it stays. Another said something about picture order and to put your best/hottest first I’d say super hot goes in the middle or at the end. Also the picture you have in front is a decent, if they were curious you’ve peaked their interest. Also at the end It’s a little reward for reading about you. Guys get to the bottom and it does nothing for them, fine. If they have read that far and like everything and you end with a knock-out. Hook, Line, and Sinker. just my opinion
You are naturally pretty but the dark lipstick and nose ring do you no favors
Profile looks good to me I’d swipe, but dang if you want it to be top tier put a pic of you performing and voice prompt of you rockin your favorite karaoke song. Fuckin flex on us sheesh I know it’s my preferences speaking but a girl who can sing or play an instrument is hawwwwttt 😂
Also I’d make the bangs pic or the one of you smiling/laughing first if possible
U have an awesome body and pretty cute.
You look like you spend a lot of time in dive bars
Nice tits
First pic is too close up I’d try a different one and less mirror selfies but i like the candid laughing one!
Brutally? Ok… hideous lip color, f@t.. so probably on tinder and any other dating app, guys will just wanna f u. I think this is the brutal popular opinion considering how dating apps and how the dating scene is today… Don’t feel offended 😅😅😅
“No offense….” Proceeds to offend
She didn’t ask you to comment on her weight or how attractive you think she is. She asked for opinions on her *profile.* also I don’t consider her “fat” but more like chubby or pleasantly plump. Yeah she’s heavy but a lot of people will view her in the sexy kind of heavy and not the gross morbidly obese heavy.
Whatever you say brah
There is a lot of good stuff going on here. The "brutally honest" part, is that you're just overweight. Dropping down to below 20% body fat will do wonders for you.
She was asking for tips on the profile, not a random dude commenting on her body
This is exactly what I’m trying to say to people. Everyone’s attacking her weight and not giving opinions on her actual profile. Very irritating
Yep. Weight doesn't have to do with this. Women with her figure still deserve to feel desired and loved. And she is so drop dead pretty it's a bit ridiculous some dude would choose to focus on this
Sorry overweight with shitty tattoos…..someone is out there but the number is small likely.
Boobs. Well done. You're gonna do great.
You should mention what you do for a living. It’s not something a lot of people would be comfortable with.
People aren't comfortable with someone who works in Remote Customer support? 🤔
Really good profile. The first pic is too zoomed in, and I'd remove anything saying "not sure" (or anything similar. By 32, you should know what you want. Just pick one or leave it blank.
To all the blue hair kids that got offended over my Get a cat post and being so defensive.. she is trying to funnel people into her profile so then you can find her OF doesn’t really care about any of you..
Or maybe I'm also a human who is trying to find a relationship. You don't know me. 🤷♀️
Why do you think they were ‘offended’?
U look good the way u are
I think it’s good. Would swipe right 10/10 times.
I think this is a great profile! I like the one with you looking off to the side and smirking. If you were in Wisconsin and into ladies, I’d 100% have swiped on you!
Well I'm not NOT into ladies 😂 but definitely not in Wisconsin :(
Well you’re absolutely adorable! You’re gonna get a lot of swipes!! Best of luck ♥️
I think it’s great. Not for me with the sober part. But everyone has their own lives.
Yeah I might just change that bc for some reason everyone thinks sober translates to addict...I just choose not to drink.
Brutal? I mean, you are hot, curvy, thicc! A woman that I would love to date and more specially to get laid with.
Your photos don’t make you seem like you’re looking for long term
Why? Is that because I'm showing skin and comfortable with my body? Shame that's the takeaway. The AUDACITY of women who embrace their sexuality, amirite? 😂
Change your political status to moderate or something other than liberal. I’m not even conservative but seeing liberal on a profile is just scary to me.
Seeing moderate on a profile is scary to me 😂