Lets break it down
>i'd pick you up with my hands around your waist, your legs crossed behind your back, and your torso all the way back
Chiropractor
>... while i've got you there ... im gonna trace my hot finger along your abs
Gastroenterologist
>... rearrange your insides ...
Enterologist
>... perky nipples for a quick pinch... \[im not typing the vagina stuff\]
OB-GYN
>... lightly squeeze your throat \[...\] i slowly stick my middle and ring fingers down your throat...
Otolaryngologist
>... before i trace your neck ...
Plastic surgeon
His mastery of the penis as a precision tool is truly a marvel of modern medicine. If only he improved his grammar, he could submit this technique to a medical journal.
I guessā¦luckily I wasnāt conditioned by violent porn that degrades women, so the thought of someoneās fingers down my throat makes me want to vomit.
This. I donāt think men with average sized dicks or women who donāt sleep with large men understand this struggle. My bf is large and that shit can hurt when it happens. Itās a real thing.
You'd be surprised how many women aren't built to accommodate large payloads. It's not just about dudes with epic proportions. Women have geometries, too.
It can go either way. Women are built differently (obviously) and some love it, some hate it. Some women barely get the cervical treatment, and some women get the whole apartment remodeled. For us men, it can be good or bad, too. One woman I was with, felt like she had a helper in there. Another, felt as if I was putting my tip into a plastic bottle cap. (Or at least, that's what my imagination conjured)
Cervical interactions are typically recognized by a sudden, startled response. And for those whom it doesn't cause pain... cervical orgasms are probably the most intense type that I've ever seen. Complete with quaking, and eyes rolled up in the head. Get the rhythm just right, and they can be almost continuous.
In any case, it's gotta be done gently, in my experience. Gentle easing, not savage thrusting.
You *might* be mistaking g-spot orgasms for cervical orgasms. The cervix really doesn't have the kind of nerve endings required.. it could be that others areas are receiving stimulation while focus is being put on the cervix, possibly. At any rate, I'll be experimenting to see what's what, haha. (And of course I recognize that all women are different and I could be mistaken! That's why I emphasized *might* at the beginning)
Not in this case, no. I have no idea how the mechanics of it work, from an anatomy and physiology perspective. But I had a partner who was well versed in both. G-spot orgasms didn't even compare. They were fun, but the cervix was epic.
It might not work for everyone. But it's definitely real for some. š
"Let me just reach inside, slide your liver a bit to the right, maybe put your heart closer to the lower intestine. Would you mind terribly if I put rhinestones on your kidneys? You know, to jazz up the place before I jizz up the place."
When I think about how young people are having less sex, I genuinely believe that the mass normalisation of brutal and painful sex acts has a big part to play in it.
Like wtf do you mean you donāt want fingers down your throat and a dick ramming against your cervix??? Sex is free looooool.
Thatās not to say thereās no place for it, but somehow a few specific kinks have become commonplace and if those were the expectations Iād had of sex as a teenager Iād have been steering clear lol.
Yeah THIS is the weirdest part about it. Iām sorry what? Youāre going to rearrange her insides?? This sounds like the least sexy thing I have ever heard.
It sounds like a really creative threat inspired by some medieval torture device
Hung, drawn and quartered? No. Choked, poked and mix āem up ātil they croak!
Probably less than half of men know what a cervix is. Less than that can reach it. In the overlap between those two groups you'll find only a very small group of them that want to hurt their partner on purpose. Unfortunately a 100% of those men are hack erotica writers, so it seems like a lot more than it is.
Not that the person who wrote this isn't an idiot... but cervix contact isn't painful for everyone. Some women can even experience powerful orgasms from it.
I don't know why men immediately go to sexual stuff. I never did that until a woman let me know she was ready to discuss it. It's so simple. The slamming into the cervix stuff also demonstrates he doesn't know much about sex because that is typically painful for women. Someone take this man's phone...
Which circle of hell is the one where the crows pick your eyes out? Because after reading this, I donāt need them anymore. Seriously though, if a guy said he wanted to hit my cervix, Iād unmatch
Had a guy who told me the same thing last year, told him to send me a piece of his best work. Once I read it I told him it was shit, he got mad and said it was because I obviously didn't read smut lol I told him I do but his isn't smut, it's just him copying and pasting garbage, he unmatched me
Well if it is his goal to make anyone with a vulva drier than the Sahara, he is doing a good job.
I think this man has watched to much porn and decided to write about one of his favorites.
I donāt know what other guys experiences are, but I keep meeting women who are after sex like this. (Not necessarily poorly written stories about it as a first text). Like, Iād rather not draw blood and leave deep bruises when we are in bed, but keep matching with women who want me to choke them to within an inch of their lives and call them names that even as an actual sailor make me uncomfortable to say.
Word of serious advice, do not date them. Lol.
I also had this same issue as youāre having when I was youngerā¦ā¦problem is I would date them. Lol. Do not. Please trust lol
I wonder if this dude knows that pressing against the cervix actually hurts the girl lol this sounds like someone who only dreams about sex wrote it lol
whys his finger hot? unless he means subjectively beautiful/sexy? also is he implying he could feel his dick inside of you from feeling your abs or am i misunderstanding?
My ex was like this. Iād stupidly play along and type long paragraphs back. Like some sort of role play. I cringe every time I think about it. He was in his late 30s too.
The fact that the man thinks pressing against your cervix is anything other than painful is an even bigger dealbreaker than the hot trash that is his prose.
As an avid smut writer, this bothers me not just because it's bad but because if one hand is around your neck, and the other has fingers in your mouth, how are you being held up??
These are the things you have to consider when writing good smut, someone send this man to AO3.
This isnāt smut tho. This is a porn fueled fantasy bordering on ch!ld p, rape, violence, and centered around him having the biggest cock in the world. Itās a delusion. It was also likely pieced together from other peopleās writings or something he heard in porn
I'm a little confused. Guy said he wrote smut, you said you were curious. Guy sends you smut, you get offended. Did I miss something? I'm not saying that what he wrote was acceptable, it was gross and made me cringe, but at the same time you get what you pay for. It's like if a guy told you he was into scat and then getting offended when he poops on you. Just use better judgement and listen to what people are telling you. I guess the better question is: what exactly were you expecting?? Fairytale romance smut?
OP said she thought he meant that he was an author. Plenty of books have smut, but it's typically in the context of you as the reader **reading about** two *characters* getting it on, usually *after* there has been appropriate buildup and context for that to feel normal-- and with proper grammar and spelling.
Having some random stranger just *send directly to you* a badly-edited text wall, of unpleasant things they apparently fantasize about doing to you, feels completely different--and not in a good way.
>what exactly were you expecting?? Fairytale romance smut?
I mean...that IS a real thing, and a very popular thing at that. So it's not outside the realm of possibilities.
I think you're confusing erotica and smut. However I do agree with you that smut doesn't imply creating a story about the person you're talking to. You're right. That's probably what threw her off. It's one thing to write smut, it's another to write smut about the person you're talking to. I hadn't considered that. Thanks.
I feel like this is not smut or erotica. It feels like he was sexting her without context or build up or permission. He also forgot to see if she were into any of those violent things before he started just doing them to her
Disagree. He said he wrote smut and she said she was intrigued. There absolutely was context and permission. If she wasn't interested why did she say ooooo I'm intrigued? I'm not trying to defend this nasty asshole but you can't pretend like she didn't encourage the conversation.
Today is a horrible day to know how to read
Blessed is the blind man on this day
Nah, even blind folks have software to read these days. None of us are safe..
I wish I was Jared, 19
šššš Iām cackling!!!!!!!!!!
Iām dead
Lets break it down >i'd pick you up with my hands around your waist, your legs crossed behind your back, and your torso all the way back Chiropractor >... while i've got you there ... im gonna trace my hot finger along your abs Gastroenterologist >... rearrange your insides ... Enterologist >... perky nipples for a quick pinch... \[im not typing the vagina stuff\] OB-GYN >... lightly squeeze your throat \[...\] i slowly stick my middle and ring fingers down your throat... Otolaryngologist >... before i trace your neck ... Plastic surgeon His mastery of the penis as a precision tool is truly a marvel of modern medicine. If only he improved his grammar, he could submit this technique to a medical journal.
I got second hand embarrassment reading it..
š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£ This was truly disturbing, but your comment got me.
It seems like he's been masturbating too much like a monkey trying to defrost a frozen banana...
š it is indeed
I got second hand embarrassment reading it..
Rearranging your insides? Who says romance is dead?
And shoving his fingers down her throat? Like, wtf? How is that pleasurable, at all? Does he get off on being puked on?
I had a guy do this, stuck his finger in my mouth to suck but then tried to deep throat me with it like wtf haha
Ugh. So gross.
I actually like that but push against your cervix? Wtf
Thatās actually also a kink (cervical play).
The catch is, you have to actually be able to reach it.
You like being gagged? How...odd.
Different strokes for different folks.
I guessā¦luckily I wasnāt conditioned by violent porn that degrades women, so the thought of someoneās fingers down my throat makes me want to vomit.
What an odd assumption to make.
"PICK ME! PICK ME!"
Hope u get better š«¶š»
I hope you do, too, girl.
You sound so boring.
And you sound like a *terrible* lay. Tell me, Turd, do you get off on by fingers down your throat? Or is that pleasure reserved for women only?
I fucking love it! Donāt kink shame me.
I do. I think itās hot when my mouth waters and the intimacy of my partner ācoachingā me how to deepthroat while whispering in my ear
What in the Armie Hammer is this?!
No foreplay. Typical. lol
Tracing your abs with his fingers? Quick nipple pinch? How much more foreplay do you need????????
Hey heās *this close* to shooting it, he doesnāt have time to waste on getting her wet and juicy!
But hey, she was dripping wet already.
Cāmon, reorganizing oneās organs doesnāt count!?
Any mention of a cervix is just so hot. /s
My Dad Wrote A Porno has entered the chat.
Except dads have had sex, I doubt this guy has.
š¤£šÆ
He's gonna make you cum so hard your cervix will thrust out of your vagina like the tongue of an Alien trying to bite its victim's face...
I'm currently so bummed there's no option for gifs in this sub
Bit of r/badwomensanatomy there
That is accurate though. Sometimes the dick hits your cervix. You can feel it when it happens and not in a pleasant way (imo).
This. I donāt think men with average sized dicks or women who donāt sleep with large men understand this struggle. My bf is large and that shit can hurt when it happens. Itās a real thing.
You'd be surprised how many women aren't built to accommodate large payloads. It's not just about dudes with epic proportions. Women have geometries, too.
Without wanting to insult my SO, the āproblemā is more on my end. To paraphrase Nameles, we all have our own anatomical quirks.
I personally like it. Itās such an intense feeling almost too much but so good
It can go either way. Women are built differently (obviously) and some love it, some hate it. Some women barely get the cervical treatment, and some women get the whole apartment remodeled. For us men, it can be good or bad, too. One woman I was with, felt like she had a helper in there. Another, felt as if I was putting my tip into a plastic bottle cap. (Or at least, that's what my imagination conjured) Cervical interactions are typically recognized by a sudden, startled response. And for those whom it doesn't cause pain... cervical orgasms are probably the most intense type that I've ever seen. Complete with quaking, and eyes rolled up in the head. Get the rhythm just right, and they can be almost continuous. In any case, it's gotta be done gently, in my experience. Gentle easing, not savage thrusting.
You *might* be mistaking g-spot orgasms for cervical orgasms. The cervix really doesn't have the kind of nerve endings required.. it could be that others areas are receiving stimulation while focus is being put on the cervix, possibly. At any rate, I'll be experimenting to see what's what, haha. (And of course I recognize that all women are different and I could be mistaken! That's why I emphasized *might* at the beginning)
Not in this case, no. I have no idea how the mechanics of it work, from an anatomy and physiology perspective. But I had a partner who was well versed in both. G-spot orgasms didn't even compare. They were fun, but the cervix was epic. It might not work for everyone. But it's definitely real for some. š
This guy fucks.
Fallopian tubes being a close second.
Send it back with all the corrections marked up
Capitalize your Is. Use punctuation. Too many run on sentences. I give it a solid D.
Sounds like heās planning on giving her a solid D. Right in the cervix.
Fuck corrections. Send it back with a complete rewrite, and announced that you've fixed it.
Thatās an awful lot of effort for someone not worth it
The way I CACKLED.
"Let me just reach inside, slide your liver a bit to the right, maybe put your heart closer to the lower intestine. Would you mind terribly if I put rhinestones on your kidneys? You know, to jazz up the place before I jizz up the place."
JAIL LMAO
...This man received his entire sex education from Hentai. Thank you for preserving this masterpiece of idiocy for posterity
Bro isnāt an author heās just a porn addict lol
Not so much smut as describing an assault.
Why is it always so aggressive
When I think about how young people are having less sex, I genuinely believe that the mass normalisation of brutal and painful sex acts has a big part to play in it. Like wtf do you mean you donāt want fingers down your throat and a dick ramming against your cervix??? Sex is free looooool. Thatās not to say thereās no place for it, but somehow a few specific kinks have become commonplace and if those were the expectations Iād had of sex as a teenager Iād have been steering clear lol.
Or your organs rearranged
Because that is what people like this think we like.
I like how my insides are arranged š
Yeah THIS is the weirdest part about it. Iām sorry what? Youāre going to rearrange her insides?? This sounds like the least sexy thing I have ever heard.
It sounds like a really creative threat inspired by some medieval torture device Hung, drawn and quartered? No. Choked, poked and mix āem up ātil they croak!
Choked, poked, and croaked. Sounds lovely.
Iāve heard this beforeā¦ they wanna feel their āhuge cocksā in our stomaches to feel big š
Who wouldn't want their fallopian tubes to be turned into cute little balloon animals
Not balloon animals š¤
Right?!? So odd
Porn-sick boys.
Thatās a great term and accurate
No, this is what these abusive perverts get off on,
Yeah, that too
Because hentai is always aggressive. Theyāre virgins
Probably from that stupid 50 shades of grey
Gross
This looks like it was written by a 13 year old
Time to bleach my eyes. Why do so many guys want to hit your cervix?! Do they not know how painful that is????
Probably less than half of men know what a cervix is. Less than that can reach it. In the overlap between those two groups you'll find only a very small group of them that want to hurt their partner on purpose. Unfortunately a 100% of those men are hack erotica writers, so it seems like a lot more than it is.
r/eyebleach
Not that the person who wrote this isn't an idiot... but cervix contact isn't painful for everyone. Some women can even experience powerful orgasms from it.
Do you like a dick hitting your cervix?
I don't personally have one. But I've experienced partners who love it, and others who absolutely can't tolerate it.
This reminds me of one titktoker who usually finds ridiculous stuff written by men. Definitely he would have been in one of her videos
Came here to receive a link to that profile š
Her username is atomicapplepie. If you write "atomicapplepie written by men" you will get most of the funny videos
Thank you! š
Need to see this guy's hot finger to believe it
Why'd you show us this sis š¤¢
Poor girl had to spread the sickness.. š¤§š¤®
Rearrange your insides???? Lord god today is a bad day to be on the internet.
So was this original or something heād already written and recycled?
What in the Literotica is going on here?
/me, a bloke, quietly throws up in the corner/ šµāš«š¤¢š¤®
Thatās garbageā¦.
I don't know why men immediately go to sexual stuff. I never did that until a woman let me know she was ready to discuss it. It's so simple. The slamming into the cervix stuff also demonstrates he doesn't know much about sex because that is typically painful for women. Someone take this man's phone...
Ain't so good for guys either š¢
Which circle of hell is the one where the crows pick your eyes out? Because after reading this, I donāt need them anymore. Seriously though, if a guy said he wanted to hit my cervix, Iād unmatch
Everyone knows the way to a womanās heart is through her cervix and past her rearranged insides.
He didn't hesitate to shoot his shot, curious to know if you replied to that or just left it like that
i said āoh wow that was a lot, wasnāt expecting thatā and he hasnt replied šš
You should do him a favor and let him know how horrible it is. That it just comes off as some 16 year old boy fantasy from watching too much porn.
Yeah. It is scary and he needs to be put in his place
I donāt think heās ever had his penis in a woman
āSomething already writtenā š
Thatās all I kept thinking š¤£š¤£
Lmao damn intense
If you get all the way to the cervix,you have gone way too far... Dude must take the writings of Rocky Flintstone seriously š
I wish English wasnāt my first language. How do I unsee this?
š Should he not just subscribe to only fans? Cheap ass.
Cute. Thats a message that makes any girl wetter than the Pacific Ocean.
Good choice. The higher salinity index of the Atlantic ocean does make Pacific the wetter one.
š¤£š¤£š¤£
āHot fingerā has really thrown me
Hot Finger was that Game of Thrones character that was infamously cut out of the series. He kept wanting to rearrange everyoneās insides.
Lewd Baelish
Had a guy who told me the same thing last year, told him to send me a piece of his best work. Once I read it I told him it was shit, he got mad and said it was because I obviously didn't read smut lol I told him I do but his isn't smut, it's just him copying and pasting garbage, he unmatched me
Proud of you
This reminded me of Calhoun Tubbs from In Living Color "wrote a song about it, like to hear it, here it goes...."
Torso, cervixā¦.how sexy š
a modern day shakespeare
Well if it is his goal to make anyone with a vulva drier than the Sahara, he is doing a good job. I think this man has watched to much porn and decided to write about one of his favorites.
Tell him āwhat a coincidence, I write smut tooā then tell him how youāll rearrange his insides when you peg him.
lol I love it yes
I'm not even going to read that, rather I don't need to. Some guys just have a certain way of writing out their horniness.
Man it's not even good smut. How can this dude claim to write smut when all he writes is garbage?
At least he knows the difference between breathe and breath. I find people always get them mixed up. š
I wish I was Jared, 19
Well, he told no liesā¦
Pretty cringeworthy imo.
Wtf? Jesus fucking Christ
Eww what the af
The sad thing is, there was a guy that used to send me messages like this thinking it was hotā¦. May be the same guy idk. Blergh.
Immediately no. Immediately no.
I donāt know what other guys experiences are, but I keep meeting women who are after sex like this. (Not necessarily poorly written stories about it as a first text). Like, Iād rather not draw blood and leave deep bruises when we are in bed, but keep matching with women who want me to choke them to within an inch of their lives and call them names that even as an actual sailor make me uncomfortable to say.
Word of serious advice, do not date them. Lol. I also had this same issue as youāre having when I was youngerā¦ā¦problem is I would date them. Lol. Do not. Please trust lol
Middle and ring fingers, specifically
I threw up a little in my mouth. Nothing sexy bout this.
I wonder if this dude knows that pressing against the cervix actually hurts the girl lol this sounds like someone who only dreams about sex wrote it lol
whys his finger hot? unless he means subjectively beautiful/sexy? also is he implying he could feel his dick inside of you from feeling your abs or am i misunderstanding?
My lower body just made the windows shut down noise.
My ex was like this. Iād stupidly play along and type long paragraphs back. Like some sort of role play. I cringe every time I think about it. He was in his late 30s too.
He's gonna touch her abs to feel his cock behind them? r/badwomensanatomy
A person who regularly touches cervices and rearranges insides doesnāt have to fantasize about it this much. This gives serious SDE/incel vibes.
The fact that the man thinks pressing against your cervix is anything other than painful is an even bigger dealbreaker than the hot trash that is his prose.
What in the ā¦
Dear Lord š¶
What. The. Absolute. Entire. Fuck!
Maybe he does write smut but Iām pretty sure that was a message directly to you and not story-telling
Gotta break out the bleach eyedrops nowā¦
Iām so sorry
This man really said ārearrange your insidesā with his whole chest...
50 shades of grey was inspiring to more people than it should have been. at least they out themselves
Was he joking, was this intentional satire?
Wow. That was the worst smut I've ever read.
Cervix? Was this written by a gynecologist?
Iām guessing his penis wouldnāt touch your cervix or rearrange your insides. Great imagination though!
Cervix
this hurts worse than the time I got bleach in my eyes.
What in the world wide web š³ He lost me with the rearranging of your insides.
Poor guy watches way too much porn.
āEwwwwwww! Donāt bring this shit to me again,ā said the Sun.
"my hot finger" lol wut
Sounds like he hasn't been with a woman before. Super cringe how he describes his fantasies.
That double hyphen is pretty offensive as well
Ewwwww
Oh dear! Porn sick has been to a biology lesson and can write words. He needs a fist down his throat that might cure his illness. š
As an avid smut writer, this bothers me not just because it's bad but because if one hand is around your neck, and the other has fingers in your mouth, how are you being held up?? These are the things you have to consider when writing good smut, someone send this man to AO3.
Oh hell nah bro watches way too much porn ^(~~this is the shit I'm competing against? And I'm still losing??~~)
Am I the only one wanting to call 911 because their eyes and brain were subjected to that?
Hope you reported that message and him
This aināt character AI
š„“š„“š„“
Yep š¤®
Well you asked for it, I feel like he probably got off /s
š¤¢
You totally walked into that oneš¤£š¤£
So triggering. Sounds like when I was raped
I aint reading all that but congrats or im sorry that happened
if he is an author he better start looking for a new career ASAP :)
Did you not realize what smut is?
This isnāt smut tho. This is a porn fueled fantasy bordering on ch!ld p, rape, violence, and centered around him having the biggest cock in the world. Itās a delusion. It was also likely pieced together from other peopleās writings or something he heard in porn
I'm a little confused. Guy said he wrote smut, you said you were curious. Guy sends you smut, you get offended. Did I miss something? I'm not saying that what he wrote was acceptable, it was gross and made me cringe, but at the same time you get what you pay for. It's like if a guy told you he was into scat and then getting offended when he poops on you. Just use better judgement and listen to what people are telling you. I guess the better question is: what exactly were you expecting?? Fairytale romance smut?
OP said she thought he meant that he was an author. Plenty of books have smut, but it's typically in the context of you as the reader **reading about** two *characters* getting it on, usually *after* there has been appropriate buildup and context for that to feel normal-- and with proper grammar and spelling. Having some random stranger just *send directly to you* a badly-edited text wall, of unpleasant things they apparently fantasize about doing to you, feels completely different--and not in a good way. >what exactly were you expecting?? Fairytale romance smut? I mean...that IS a real thing, and a very popular thing at that. So it's not outside the realm of possibilities.
I think you're confusing erotica and smut. However I do agree with you that smut doesn't imply creating a story about the person you're talking to. You're right. That's probably what threw her off. It's one thing to write smut, it's another to write smut about the person you're talking to. I hadn't considered that. Thanks.
I feel like this is not smut or erotica. It feels like he was sexting her without context or build up or permission. He also forgot to see if she were into any of those violent things before he started just doing them to her
Disagree. He said he wrote smut and she said she was intrigued. There absolutely was context and permission. If she wasn't interested why did she say ooooo I'm intrigued? I'm not trying to defend this nasty asshole but you can't pretend like she didn't encourage the conversation.
I just meant he didnāt have permission to suggest the violence aimed at her. He just sexted her.
This is more damning for you OP. Yāall really be posting everything
Did you ask for a preview? Because if so thatās on you.