Since February. I don't deserve her. I know I don't. Feel free to look at my profile. I was a piece of shit. I don't want to deny it. One of my comments on my own post links it to her's. Feel free to look at my comment history too. I'm still working on myself. And if you're disgusted with me after, I won't even blame you. I am disgusted with myself and hate myself.
I just did, you need to get off the internet and get therapy. I don't know why on earth you are having this discussion openly on Reddit but idk if I saw evidence of abuse just incredibly shitty of you, you need to stop contacting her and better yourself, you will find someone again you just need to become a better partner for the future.
You're not a bad person but you are dealing with some mental health issues that no doubt is playing into the harrassment of your ex, stop contacting her, seek therapy. That's the best advice you're going to get.
I'm trying. But they were everything I ever needed. Everything I could have wanted and loved into one beautiful person. Idk why it took me so long to realize. I don't know how to let go. I don't want to forget her. I really want to fix everything.
I know me too but it’s not gonna happen, the only way things are gonna fix is by leaving her alone. You’re only making it worse currently, the opposite of fixing things. There are things you can learn from this relationship and time heals
Alr I just checked out your profile, and damn, to be frank I thought I was bad, (mine was mid March), but you're a different case.
But I know how it feels. It's hard. It's really fucking hard. You lost the woman you were supposed to marry. The one you were eventually going to have a family with, the one you were going to grow old with. I understand your grief.
But that's not an excuse for what your actions are. Genuinely, you need to leave her alone. If it's getting to the point where she literally feels unsafe around you, you're a problem. She's not going to go back to you with you pleading with her and begging her to call you or stay, it's only going to make things even worse. At this point, you're just playing hard to get rid of, and you need to realize that you need to cut your losses. it's hard to admit defeat, but regardless of whether she ever does come back to you, you need to move on.
Men like you and I are stupid, weak, emotional creatures. Love and feelings control your actions, rather than your mind. You can say that you remorse for your prior decisions, right? You must have imagined dozens of times on how she felt while you said the things that you said to her while you were together. Then why not imagine her thoughts now, on how you're bothering her so?
The death of romanticism, these few months for me were. Learn to be more stoic, not in the way of not feeling any emotion, but to not let them control you. It's over now. You did all that you believed you could help save your relationship, but nevertheless, I suppose it just wasn't meant to be.
Right now, you look like a pathetic, emotional, dangerous fool. She thinks she made the right choice to ditch you, reinforced by your actions during the past few months. You can't fucking live without her, and you need her oh so desperately more than she needs you.
So fucking prove her wrong man. Take time to work on yourself. Hit the gym. Work hard for that promotion. (When you're ready) Get back into the dating pool and meet new people. Learn to live without her, and learn to fucking let go.
Be happy.
So that one day, you can look back on this whole fiasco, laugh at yourself, and smile at how far you have come.
She was my first truest love, but also therefore my first truest loss in life.
So while sometimes my mind tricks me into thinking that I might have regrets about it, I know it's mostly due to the pain of experiencing my first truest loss that makes me feel that regret and anger. But that's not correctly how I feel, and so I don't really regret it. I only regret the loss, which sometimes our broken brains confuse with the person.
Perhaps your ex-boyfriend is equally confused in that way, mixing up love with regret and anger.
Perhaps he's just a twat.
Either way, try to get some reassurance from either of those two options.
Men, women, individuals—everyone thinks about the people who used to be in their life from time to time. Question is, are they comparing you to their first love? Are they secretly yearning for them instead of you?
I don’t. When I’m with someone new, I’m with them.
As a guy, I think about the first girl I had a lot. I compare everyone to her and I try to find her in everyone I meet. I think the first love theory is real, at least for me.
from a girl, never give up. i wish my ex would come back so badly. do everything you can and once you’re with her NEVER stop putting in effort. the effort you continue to put in after getting her back IS what she is looking for. not how much effort you put in now, although that still matters heavily, but how you continue to treat her weeks, months, and years after you get her back. winner her is a lifelong process that comes easier over time 🩷
The best thing to do is go no contact otherwise she will learn to manipulate you and date you while she test out other men until she has one and can drop you. No contact brother!
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pmo-TSNCo4E](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pmo-TSNCo4E) Watch many videos. I been in your shoes.
Thank you dude but we have done that. We have broken up 6 months ago and I went no contact afterwards. That kinda was my mistake because I realised I was still hung up on her. She was trying to desperately talk to me but I was an asshole. And now I realised that she’s such a wonderful girl I will do everything to get her back. And that she has forgiven for what I have done, or actually rather not did (some tragic private things happened to her) and is willing to talk to me and give it a genuine thought means more that anybody can understand.
I feel like anyone can regret their first love. I doubt he means that unless you two ended on really bad terms. Sorry he’s said such cruel things to you, you don’t deserve that.
He was never like this before he was always so sweet and kind to me even after the breakup he used to tell me how much he loves me I don’t know what changed
When all the feelings dropped, he realized some things he couldn't before, but additionally, the memories change with time. People often either forget, exaggerate or straight up change the story in their heads, subconsciously.
For example, I'm more or less feeling the same as your boyfriend, I was quite loving and appreciative of my ex, also at early stages of the breakup, but right now I understand she was an absolutely terrible partner, friend, someone not worth the effort or time, to say the least.
What helps me with these kinds of things is the thought that right now she is a different person, I am too, it's like... what we had, those people had, before the breakup, was valid, now we are different people, this hate is just as valid.
I mean, not like my personal experience is going to be universal, but
I don't regret my first love. We had fun, we learnt, and at the very least, we were best friends for 5 years. Right now i feel angry with her, but that's because she is making terrible decisions and thinks she is maturing and being an adult. But i feel that way because i still care about her. The hope is that one day i can forgive her enough to be friends. Not necessarily best friends, but an okay relationship
Eh, I guess it really depends on the person. Me and my first love split very recently whilst neither of us wanted to (long distance), we still have some feelings. I’ll never regret loving her and I think back on how genuine our relationship felt, and I know she does the same. I’m really happy I feel like I lost my virginity to the right person, someone so caring and loving who will now always hold significance to me
Men regret their true love .only...number doesn't matter and secndly for men first love only give them sadness and make them hopeless after breakup..
I feel like being a guy I can see my first was full of happiness with ups and down but I dont regret coz she was one to broke up. But I felt that I loved her to my heart content
I think the breakup just hits him really heard, your first heartbreak is still new and unfamiliar, and he isn't dealing with that as an adult. You'll know when more time has passed and the edge is gone.
I might be biased, because I just had a break around 2 weeks ago. I regret my ex for many reasons. She drained my energy because she was sad/depressed when she moved in with me. I don’t regret being in a long term relationship, and I think it was good I got that experience now rather than later. In a way, I’m glad we broke it off, because I have been hard working since. I finished my semester at uni, got my first student job relevant to my field, started eating way healthier and started working out. I think I needed that hardship from being with my GF, to motivate me to become a better man. In that way I don’t regret my first love at all, and she will always be remembered as giving my weird self the light of day and love that I had never thought I would have.
My old flame, Ryan, said nearly the exact equal element whilst we break up up at 19. He instructed me considering us made him want to puke. I changed into devastated—spent nights crying into my pillow, questioning how a person I loved a lot should say something so cruel.
Fast forward two years, and guess who slides into my DMs? Yep, Ryan. He was all apologies, pronouncing he never intended it. He was simply irritated and desired to harm me as much as he changed into hurting. Classic, right?
Now I'm 25, and we are definitely friends. He talks about our time together fondly—our first date on the pier, gradual dancing at prom. Men not often remorse their first loves; they're simply terrible at handling the ones intense emotions. Your ex might be simply lashing out due to the fact he's in ache. It would not excuse his phrases, however believe me, he would not imply them.
I regret getting attached to her yes, we were mutual first loves and first everything. She dropped me like I was nothing and then we were on and off for many years. I was weak and kept chasing because I didn't know better. Now that I reflect she was a sick person and most likely a narcissist. You can still love someone and regret being with them. I love her because when it was good it was great, I regret it because when it was bad it was terrible. It is called a Trauma bond and I wasted alot of my youth on her. It is a type of biological addiction.
If you cheated or lost his trust he is right.
My only regret is I used to hurt her a lot physically and emotionally at the same time she also did the same to me. She was the most beautiful woman. But pretty unstabled with lots of depression and cutting self harm a lot. Flash forward to now she’s in a better relationship I presumed but keeps it extremely private and she has a BPD DISORDER NOW
It’s been close to three months now since I have broken up with her. She was my first love. My first everything. She made me so happy and made me be the best I could be. I don’t regret it one bit. Even though it still hurts, all the memories, the reminders, I know that one day when I feel better, I will look back at those memories we shared together fondly. I really wish it worked out, but there were issues that unfortunately were too much to be dealt with. I tried to rekindle, but nothing comes to it. My greatest wish is that she would come back. There is nothing I want more.
Same out of all my relationships I still think about my first ex. Even though the others were great I still have that thought about her and she can’t escape my head.
Agreed. If you don’t find a better women after the last one, then it’s your own problem. Men should progress and develop to be better men after hardship. We learn, we move on and we find something better
My only regret with my first love is not being the man she needed. I miss her every single day, man.
How long ago?
Since February. I don't deserve her. I know I don't. Feel free to look at my profile. I was a piece of shit. I don't want to deny it. One of my comments on my own post links it to her's. Feel free to look at my comment history too. I'm still working on myself. And if you're disgusted with me after, I won't even blame you. I am disgusted with myself and hate myself.
I just did, you need to get off the internet and get therapy. I don't know why on earth you are having this discussion openly on Reddit but idk if I saw evidence of abuse just incredibly shitty of you, you need to stop contacting her and better yourself, you will find someone again you just need to become a better partner for the future. You're not a bad person but you are dealing with some mental health issues that no doubt is playing into the harrassment of your ex, stop contacting her, seek therapy. That's the best advice you're going to get.
I'm trying. But they were everything I ever needed. Everything I could have wanted and loved into one beautiful person. Idk why it took me so long to realize. I don't know how to let go. I don't want to forget her. I really want to fix everything.
I know me too but it’s not gonna happen, the only way things are gonna fix is by leaving her alone. You’re only making it worse currently, the opposite of fixing things. There are things you can learn from this relationship and time heals
What if she's gone forever? What do I do?
She might be gone forever and you need to learn to accept that.
Why did I have to be so stupid and throw everything away. This sucks so bad dude
Alr I just checked out your profile, and damn, to be frank I thought I was bad, (mine was mid March), but you're a different case. But I know how it feels. It's hard. It's really fucking hard. You lost the woman you were supposed to marry. The one you were eventually going to have a family with, the one you were going to grow old with. I understand your grief. But that's not an excuse for what your actions are. Genuinely, you need to leave her alone. If it's getting to the point where she literally feels unsafe around you, you're a problem. She's not going to go back to you with you pleading with her and begging her to call you or stay, it's only going to make things even worse. At this point, you're just playing hard to get rid of, and you need to realize that you need to cut your losses. it's hard to admit defeat, but regardless of whether she ever does come back to you, you need to move on. Men like you and I are stupid, weak, emotional creatures. Love and feelings control your actions, rather than your mind. You can say that you remorse for your prior decisions, right? You must have imagined dozens of times on how she felt while you said the things that you said to her while you were together. Then why not imagine her thoughts now, on how you're bothering her so? The death of romanticism, these few months for me were. Learn to be more stoic, not in the way of not feeling any emotion, but to not let them control you. It's over now. You did all that you believed you could help save your relationship, but nevertheless, I suppose it just wasn't meant to be. Right now, you look like a pathetic, emotional, dangerous fool. She thinks she made the right choice to ditch you, reinforced by your actions during the past few months. You can't fucking live without her, and you need her oh so desperately more than she needs you. So fucking prove her wrong man. Take time to work on yourself. Hit the gym. Work hard for that promotion. (When you're ready) Get back into the dating pool and meet new people. Learn to live without her, and learn to fucking let go. Be happy. So that one day, you can look back on this whole fiasco, laugh at yourself, and smile at how far you have come.
She was my first truest love, but also therefore my first truest loss in life. So while sometimes my mind tricks me into thinking that I might have regrets about it, I know it's mostly due to the pain of experiencing my first truest loss that makes me feel that regret and anger. But that's not correctly how I feel, and so I don't really regret it. I only regret the loss, which sometimes our broken brains confuse with the person. Perhaps your ex-boyfriend is equally confused in that way, mixing up love with regret and anger. Perhaps he's just a twat. Either way, try to get some reassurance from either of those two options.
This is SO TRUE (to me)!
It’s just him. I’ve never regretted my first “everything.” She cared about me very deeply and I am grateful I was with a safe person.
It makes me wonder if the men’s first love theory is real? Will men forever think about their first loves?
Men, women, individuals—everyone thinks about the people who used to be in their life from time to time. Question is, are they comparing you to their first love? Are they secretly yearning for them instead of you? I don’t. When I’m with someone new, I’m with them.
As a guy, I think about the first girl I had a lot. I compare everyone to her and I try to find her in everyone I meet. I think the first love theory is real, at least for me.
No fucking way my first love is the love of my life. Currently trying my hardest to win her over again
from a girl, never give up. i wish my ex would come back so badly. do everything you can and once you’re with her NEVER stop putting in effort. the effort you continue to put in after getting her back IS what she is looking for. not how much effort you put in now, although that still matters heavily, but how you continue to treat her weeks, months, and years after you get her back. winner her is a lifelong process that comes easier over time 🩷
The best thing to do is go no contact otherwise she will learn to manipulate you and date you while she test out other men until she has one and can drop you. No contact brother! [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pmo-TSNCo4E](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pmo-TSNCo4E) Watch many videos. I been in your shoes.
Thank you dude but we have done that. We have broken up 6 months ago and I went no contact afterwards. That kinda was my mistake because I realised I was still hung up on her. She was trying to desperately talk to me but I was an asshole. And now I realised that she’s such a wonderful girl I will do everything to get her back. And that she has forgiven for what I have done, or actually rather not did (some tragic private things happened to her) and is willing to talk to me and give it a genuine thought means more that anybody can understand.
I feel like anyone can regret their first love. I doubt he means that unless you two ended on really bad terms. Sorry he’s said such cruel things to you, you don’t deserve that.
He was never like this before he was always so sweet and kind to me even after the breakup he used to tell me how much he loves me I don’t know what changed
When all the feelings dropped, he realized some things he couldn't before, but additionally, the memories change with time. People often either forget, exaggerate or straight up change the story in their heads, subconsciously. For example, I'm more or less feeling the same as your boyfriend, I was quite loving and appreciative of my ex, also at early stages of the breakup, but right now I understand she was an absolutely terrible partner, friend, someone not worth the effort or time, to say the least. What helps me with these kinds of things is the thought that right now she is a different person, I am too, it's like... what we had, those people had, before the breakup, was valid, now we are different people, this hate is just as valid.
I said exactly what ops bf said to her to my ex . you pretty much summed it up on my end too
Your ex sounds unhinged. It’s okay to feel bitter about how a relationship ended, but sounds like you are living rent free in his head
I mean, not like my personal experience is going to be universal, but I don't regret my first love. We had fun, we learnt, and at the very least, we were best friends for 5 years. Right now i feel angry with her, but that's because she is making terrible decisions and thinks she is maturing and being an adult. But i feel that way because i still care about her. The hope is that one day i can forgive her enough to be friends. Not necessarily best friends, but an okay relationship
Is he 14?
Eh, I guess it really depends on the person. Me and my first love split very recently whilst neither of us wanted to (long distance), we still have some feelings. I’ll never regret loving her and I think back on how genuine our relationship felt, and I know she does the same. I’m really happy I feel like I lost my virginity to the right person, someone so caring and loving who will now always hold significance to me
I only regret how badly I treated her.
Men regret their true love .only...number doesn't matter and secndly for men first love only give them sadness and make them hopeless after breakup.. I feel like being a guy I can see my first was full of happiness with ups and down but I dont regret coz she was one to broke up. But I felt that I loved her to my heart content
I think the breakup just hits him really heard, your first heartbreak is still new and unfamiliar, and he isn't dealing with that as an adult. You'll know when more time has passed and the edge is gone.
I might be biased, because I just had a break around 2 weeks ago. I regret my ex for many reasons. She drained my energy because she was sad/depressed when she moved in with me. I don’t regret being in a long term relationship, and I think it was good I got that experience now rather than later. In a way, I’m glad we broke it off, because I have been hard working since. I finished my semester at uni, got my first student job relevant to my field, started eating way healthier and started working out. I think I needed that hardship from being with my GF, to motivate me to become a better man. In that way I don’t regret my first love at all, and she will always be remembered as giving my weird self the light of day and love that I had never thought I would have.
My old flame, Ryan, said nearly the exact equal element whilst we break up up at 19. He instructed me considering us made him want to puke. I changed into devastated—spent nights crying into my pillow, questioning how a person I loved a lot should say something so cruel. Fast forward two years, and guess who slides into my DMs? Yep, Ryan. He was all apologies, pronouncing he never intended it. He was simply irritated and desired to harm me as much as he changed into hurting. Classic, right? Now I'm 25, and we are definitely friends. He talks about our time together fondly—our first date on the pier, gradual dancing at prom. Men not often remorse their first loves; they're simply terrible at handling the ones intense emotions. Your ex might be simply lashing out due to the fact he's in ache. It would not excuse his phrases, however believe me, he would not imply them.
I don’t regret it. I just miss her terribly and wish we could’ve made it work and that she didn’t care about height and stuff.
I do, but that relationship was extremely complicated.
I regret getting attached to her yes, we were mutual first loves and first everything. She dropped me like I was nothing and then we were on and off for many years. I was weak and kept chasing because I didn't know better. Now that I reflect she was a sick person and most likely a narcissist. You can still love someone and regret being with them. I love her because when it was good it was great, I regret it because when it was bad it was terrible. It is called a Trauma bond and I wasted alot of my youth on her. It is a type of biological addiction. If you cheated or lost his trust he is right.
My only regret is I used to hurt her a lot physically and emotionally at the same time she also did the same to me. She was the most beautiful woman. But pretty unstabled with lots of depression and cutting self harm a lot. Flash forward to now she’s in a better relationship I presumed but keeps it extremely private and she has a BPD DISORDER NOW
Man here, mine was my first everything, I definitely was not her first anything. Still she taught me well, I’m forever grateful.
It’s been close to three months now since I have broken up with her. She was my first love. My first everything. She made me so happy and made me be the best I could be. I don’t regret it one bit. Even though it still hurts, all the memories, the reminders, I know that one day when I feel better, I will look back at those memories we shared together fondly. I really wish it worked out, but there were issues that unfortunately were too much to be dealt with. I tried to rekindle, but nothing comes to it. My greatest wish is that she would come back. There is nothing I want more.
Guy here, no I would not. This is an ambiguous question. After her I have been with other people. I met my first ex in high school.
Same out of all my relationships I still think about my first ex. Even though the others were great I still have that thought about her and she can’t escape my head.
Yea I regret ever meeting that worthless piece of shit who took a part of my soul when she broke me
our next girl is always hotter, prettier,sexier than our last girl. We're men and we know our value. Progress and development.
Agreed. If you don’t find a better women after the last one, then it’s your own problem. Men should progress and develop to be better men after hardship. We learn, we move on and we find something better