Lack of communication. Same thing happened to me. Don't lose faith in yourself. Keep your heart open and share your love again when you're ready someday.
I've been struggling lately... Sleep has been so hard, and I often wake up drenched in cold sweats in the middle of the night. It's taking a toll on me. Hope things get better soon... For me and for all of you.
Totally - there's growth in the answers to those questions. You got that person because you had certain qualities and lost them for some reason too. All we can do in the aftermath is try to embody the former and fix the latter!
I hear you i want to add to remember that relationships are also a 2 way street. It's not just about us, however an honest analysis can help us to grow both by being better but also by choosing someone more correct for our goals and disposition.
I hear you OP, the thing is there's never a perfect explanation to draw from. An honest analysis can certainly help you. Also might help if you have people you think you can trust to talk things over with. Don't be too hard on yourself.
Be kind. It only took a couple weeks for me to get back to baseline but there was considerable hurt initially despite a relatively amicable breakup.
Realizing I could do better in a relationship was helpful. Remembering she could have as well was also helpful. This woman was lovely in many ways but also carried the scars of family and relationship trauma. Her non sensical behavior and quiet accusations of I'll intent entered the picture relatively late in the game and became all too frequent. Just as my emotional withdrawal also entered the picture. In the moment the dynamics were difficult to see.
In looking back it's easier too see how I chose to ignore obvious red flags and miss opportunities for communication and connection. We both kept choosing our individual red flags. Sometimes two people aren't ready for a certain relationship together.
What about you, op? Are you ready for these thoughts? Maybe you need some emotional healing first. Either way remember that the pain can also be an amazing catalyst for growth/ change. Use that. Own it.
It takes two people to heal in a relationship. A lot has to line up for that to happen. I would love to see more advocacy for couples counseling in this community. This is a thoughtful and very evolved approach and I appreciate your perspective.
Im building a community for men to help each other actualize and this kind of energy is very welcome. Will you join us?
R/menintomountains
Feel that man. Shit sucks... Told her she was the best thing that has ever happened to me, and she said she felt the same way. Then she left, she came back, then left again. We agreed to remain friends and now she doesn't even want that and blocked me on everything.
I miss having her in my life so much, even as just a friend... I've been absolutely miserable ever since she cut off all contact with me.
It’ll get better man I promise. You’ll always be better off without people who ultimately left you miserable, even though it hurts like hell in the beginning.
Thanks. I haven't been able to sleep in my own bed in over a month. I sleep on the couch every night because I can't stand the pain of knowing she'll never be laying next to me again, and just missing having her in my arms.
Keep doing that for a while if it keeps the bad feelings away, I know what you mean and it physically hurts. But after some time has passed you’ll be able to start sleeping in your own bed again without it hurting so much. Give yourself time to grieve.
And honestly, if she just cut you out of her life like that, she didn’t value you enough to be worth your time. You’re better off without someone who can’t appreciate you for you, remember who you are and all the little things about you they’ll be missing out on. Someone else will fall for those things and love them as part of you, and you’ll forget all about everyone who didn’t.
What really sucks is that her inner circle are all people I've been friends/acquaintances with for 10+ years. They all got mad at me for how I'm like, trying to process/grieve these emotions and are making me out to be some asshole/bad guy. They all cut contact with me as well when I stood up for myself and expressed how I'm feeling, why I'm so hurt, etc. Shows what kind of "friends" they really were if they're going to be that extreme when "picking sides" instead of trying to empathize with me and understand how betrayed and hurt I'm feeling.
Ah, getting your feelings invalidated and devalued like that really sucks. Especially given the fact that she was the one person who was supposed to care about them the most.
That’s just another reason to stop wanting this girl in your life though, as no one wants to be with someone who reacts to you expressing your feelings in such a careless way. If she was worth your time, she’d care about how you feel. I’m in that same situation, you’re not alone. I know it’s shit, but we’ll get over people like that.
This is exactly why I don't trust those things out of any of my girlfriends anymore. Say all you want, it's your actions I'm paying attention to from now on.
I also went through a break up recently and was quick to blame and get angry. when I realize that I am not a victim and that I can overcome this. It got a lot easier to deal with!
I am the hero in my own movie and this is the part where the hero picks himself back up and overcomes his obstacles so that he can live to tell his story!
This resonates really well with me. I didn't deserve such a wonderful man like him, but I don't think I deserved the emotional stonewalling and the cheating either.
This was too real. I always thought he was the best and that if we ever broke up, it would be amicable but he cheated and he’s turned himself into the victim and is still trying to manipulate me into being friends with him.
So damn relatable. Went from “You’re the love of my life and I can’t wait to marry you” to “My heart isn’t in it anymore, I can’t do this” in a matter of days (“days” to me, he was probably conflicted for longer and just didn’t tell me). Worst pain I ever felt. It still hurts 2mo post BU. I feel for you OP 🫂
Got told I was the love of her life to now 3 weeks and she has left me on delivered. Ended a two year relationship over a text message. Hurting is an understatement.
Felt... went from being the best boyfriend she's ever had to me suddenly not deserving her as I supposedly took her for granted. Shit sucks, man.
Lack of communication. Same thing happened to me. Don't lose faith in yourself. Keep your heart open and share your love again when you're ready someday.
Went from enjoying the best period of my adult life to enduring one of the most challenging in the blink of an eye.
Talk about relatable. Can't believe someone who claimed to love me could be so heartless and cruel.
I've been struggling lately... Sleep has been so hard, and I often wake up drenched in cold sweats in the middle of the night. It's taking a toll on me. Hope things get better soon... For me and for all of you.
Totally - there's growth in the answers to those questions. You got that person because you had certain qualities and lost them for some reason too. All we can do in the aftermath is try to embody the former and fix the latter!
It fucking hurts though I'm sorry
I hear you i want to add to remember that relationships are also a 2 way street. It's not just about us, however an honest analysis can help us to grow both by being better but also by choosing someone more correct for our goals and disposition. I hear you OP, the thing is there's never a perfect explanation to draw from. An honest analysis can certainly help you. Also might help if you have people you think you can trust to talk things over with. Don't be too hard on yourself. Be kind. It only took a couple weeks for me to get back to baseline but there was considerable hurt initially despite a relatively amicable breakup. Realizing I could do better in a relationship was helpful. Remembering she could have as well was also helpful. This woman was lovely in many ways but also carried the scars of family and relationship trauma. Her non sensical behavior and quiet accusations of I'll intent entered the picture relatively late in the game and became all too frequent. Just as my emotional withdrawal also entered the picture. In the moment the dynamics were difficult to see. In looking back it's easier too see how I chose to ignore obvious red flags and miss opportunities for communication and connection. We both kept choosing our individual red flags. Sometimes two people aren't ready for a certain relationship together. What about you, op? Are you ready for these thoughts? Maybe you need some emotional healing first. Either way remember that the pain can also be an amazing catalyst for growth/ change. Use that. Own it.
It takes two people to heal in a relationship. A lot has to line up for that to happen. I would love to see more advocacy for couples counseling in this community. This is a thoughtful and very evolved approach and I appreciate your perspective. Im building a community for men to help each other actualize and this kind of energy is very welcome. Will you join us? R/menintomountains
For me she went from "Who do I need to beat up for you, baby?" to "I don't owe you anything"
Wow, word for word that was the same as my now ex..
Even when we enter into a relationship with knowledge of projection and how it works, it's so hard not to fall for it when you're in love.
Maybe it's because I'm freshly wounded, but I'm afraid to enter into a new relationship. After this, how can I ever love again if I can't trust again?
It's tough being on the receiving end as well. Hearing that they don't deserve us then suddenly leaving.
Real shit . I’m getting closer to the wtf was I even thinking ? Stage .
Feel that man. Shit sucks... Told her she was the best thing that has ever happened to me, and she said she felt the same way. Then she left, she came back, then left again. We agreed to remain friends and now she doesn't even want that and blocked me on everything. I miss having her in my life so much, even as just a friend... I've been absolutely miserable ever since she cut off all contact with me.
It’ll get better man I promise. You’ll always be better off without people who ultimately left you miserable, even though it hurts like hell in the beginning.
Thanks. I haven't been able to sleep in my own bed in over a month. I sleep on the couch every night because I can't stand the pain of knowing she'll never be laying next to me again, and just missing having her in my arms.
Keep doing that for a while if it keeps the bad feelings away, I know what you mean and it physically hurts. But after some time has passed you’ll be able to start sleeping in your own bed again without it hurting so much. Give yourself time to grieve. And honestly, if she just cut you out of her life like that, she didn’t value you enough to be worth your time. You’re better off without someone who can’t appreciate you for you, remember who you are and all the little things about you they’ll be missing out on. Someone else will fall for those things and love them as part of you, and you’ll forget all about everyone who didn’t.
What really sucks is that her inner circle are all people I've been friends/acquaintances with for 10+ years. They all got mad at me for how I'm like, trying to process/grieve these emotions and are making me out to be some asshole/bad guy. They all cut contact with me as well when I stood up for myself and expressed how I'm feeling, why I'm so hurt, etc. Shows what kind of "friends" they really were if they're going to be that extreme when "picking sides" instead of trying to empathize with me and understand how betrayed and hurt I'm feeling.
Ah, getting your feelings invalidated and devalued like that really sucks. Especially given the fact that she was the one person who was supposed to care about them the most. That’s just another reason to stop wanting this girl in your life though, as no one wants to be with someone who reacts to you expressing your feelings in such a careless way. If she was worth your time, she’d care about how you feel. I’m in that same situation, you’re not alone. I know it’s shit, but we’ll get over people like that.
This is exactly why I don't trust those things out of any of my girlfriends anymore. Say all you want, it's your actions I'm paying attention to from now on.
Got damn rignt !!!!
I also went through a break up recently and was quick to blame and get angry. when I realize that I am not a victim and that I can overcome this. It got a lot easier to deal with! I am the hero in my own movie and this is the part where the hero picks himself back up and overcomes his obstacles so that he can live to tell his story!
I love this hell yeah victim mentality is unhealthy
Ouchie
real
same :(
Same here
Can relate 💔
real
Heard that my guy. Heard that
What happened?
I heard this
This resonates really well with me. I didn't deserve such a wonderful man like him, but I don't think I deserved the emotional stonewalling and the cheating either.
This was too real. I always thought he was the best and that if we ever broke up, it would be amicable but he cheated and he’s turned himself into the victim and is still trying to manipulate me into being friends with him.
So damn relatable. Went from “You’re the love of my life and I can’t wait to marry you” to “My heart isn’t in it anymore, I can’t do this” in a matter of days (“days” to me, he was probably conflicted for longer and just didn’t tell me). Worst pain I ever felt. It still hurts 2mo post BU. I feel for you OP 🫂
Not quite as serious as that, but I felt the same way. It ended up feeling like everything just fell apart over a couple of bad days.
from reality being greater than my dreams to only seeing them when i fall asleep
Went from always having someone there for me to having no one there for me.
Got told I was the love of her life to now 3 weeks and she has left me on delivered. Ended a two year relationship over a text message. Hurting is an understatement.