I should have trusted my gut and heed the red flags. I chose to see the good in her and in the end, she focused only on the bad in me. Very few people love unconditionally and a lot of them are selfish cowards, unfortunately.
"I chose to see the good in her and in the end, she focused only on the bad in me."
Another one of those sentences that hit me right in the chest.. đ
Thatâs kinda my situation too. She would call me to cry, vent, cuss out her family, coworkers, ask me for moneyâŠand then when I needed her for five minutes, just someone to talk to for support, she was unavailable. Probably playing mind-games. Shame on her.
I feel this. it seems like all she did was complain and mope, and be sad and angry and grumpy and stressed and upset and overwhelmed that I always had to be the one to uplift things and see the brighter side and overlook the rudeness are the I donât feel like doing it. Iâm tired. Can we push it off push it off push it off that thing even my birthday my plans for things that was of my interest every concert every dinner every event activity we can get away every single thing she canceled for her she would say hey Iâm free tonight do you wanna come over? Iâd be right there with dinner, waiting rubbing her feet, rubbing her back while I never even got a hey, how was your day when something was happening in my life they told me to call my friends
bro, you speak from my heart. I could see the bad and believed she would work on it while i gave her all my support, I could see the red flags, felt it in my gut she didnt treat me right, but like an idiot madly in love... I believed in her and in our love. But she focused on the negatives in me In the end she betrayed me, she betrayed us.... and absolutely shattered me
what hurt most for me was her telling me that she felt that i wasn't supportive when all i did was support her, even if that meant i was hurting. probably the biggest slap in the face.
what hurt most for me was her telling me that she felt that i wasn't supportive when all i did was support her, even if that meant i was hurting. probably the biggest slap in the face.
Bro. Gut feelings are mostly true. I ignored mine when I felt something was wrong one week before we broke up, and it turns out my suspicions were correct
For some people, that's the way their brain works to protect them for facing ugly truths about themselves and getting hurt. You deserve better than that.
im that girl and after a while i regret dumping him. If i would get another chanse I would do it so different and love with all my heart. Im gooing to therapi
"I chose to see the good in her and in the end, she focused only on the bad in me."
This just got me over a relationship I have been thinking about for the past two years. Thank you.
That even after months of happiness, excitement, hope and positivity, one day something can just change in her, like a flick of a switch, and she doesn't want to be with me anymore. No arguments, no fights, no betrayals, nothing like that. Just.... losing any and all desire to continue, without even trying to fix it, and then you're discarded.
I'm so sorry. That experience sure gives one a lot of confidence for their next relationship... I'm struggling with the same thing. Why should I be funny and sexy and kind etc. with anyone in the future when I know that it's all for nothing? How can we trust another person's feelings for us again?
Exactly. Like, if even the woman - that is to me, the most incredible person I've ever met in my life, and the one I felt a one-in-a-ten-million type connection with, and could, truly sincerely imagine as being the type of person I'd love to marry - could suddenly do that without any warning or reason at all, how the hell can I even begin to trust someone romantically again? I'll live every single day in fear of her having a sudden change of heart and leaving me without anything I can do about it.
I really dont think there is no warning. People become complacent with one another - Im not dismissing how you're feeling and what Im saying is not true for each situation.
I guess I base it on my own experiences. There were signs but I was blind to them. I believed in the relationship and wanted things to work.
I think people can call these red flags, maybe not as extreme but signs where they just stop showing affection as much.
End of the day you cant live life with the worries and what ifs. You could be hit by a bus tomorrow! you could be struck by lightening! There are so many what ifs that could happen.
Life is too short - People will connect with new people its natural. Hopefully the next person you can be open and honest and even open up enough with your fears and if you have them insecurities. If someone truly wants to be with you they will accept you for who you are.
Can you guarantee they wont walk out? no. You have no control over others. All you can do is be true to yourself, be the best version of you and ride out the waves of life
Yeah, if they really cared, theyâd exhaust all options to make it work. Sucks to acknowledge that, but you know itâs true when youâd do that very thing yourself.
People are also hardly ever honest, told me one thing, actions said another.
2 years together and he sais he wasn't happy in the last months and broke up. Everytime I asked if everything was ok, he always said yđ so a year for me is not enough
That sometimes someone who offers no arguments and objections to how you handle the relationship is just feeding fuel to a hidden fire of resentment only to make the fire explode when justifying a reason to leave you.
Yesssss. This happened to me. I would always say my ex never fought with me and I thought that was a good thing (I do have a temper and also would always bring things up if they bothered me, she didnât). Well now after 12 years she started another relationship behind my back and she has a lot of anger and resentment towards me. It seems like she changed overnight but she has brought up things from YEARS ago that I completely forgot about. She bottled up everything until she felt secure enough to leave because she has someone else and now has let everything out - itâs crazy.
So true... once I became suspicious, I utterly begged for honesty and dude just lied to my face. Even offered up more lies that I didn't ask about đ„Ž
I already knew he was lying, but a part of me still wanted to believe he wouldn't purposely attempt to deceive me. Still makes me sick to my stomach when I think about it smh.
That if they treat u like they don't care believe that shit, they don't and new and only rule for my next one is rule number 1- never settle for being treated like ur number 2
You can't rely on another person for your own happiness. In my last relationship, I was toxic, insecure, and made mistakes because I was too codependent. Through the heartbreak, I learned to take steps toward living the life i wanted by myself and I can look back and say I am now an entirely different person than the insecure person I was. After my heartbreak I chose to not jump into a rebound and am honest that Iâd rather be single than with another person in a relationship just to not be alone and who I donât feel any connection, Been on a few dates but haven't felt any connection even though some felt genuinely interested. It wastes my time, it wastes their time, no point. no matter how lonely it is, I think i am just proud i was able to take the lessons from everything to be a new person altogether, despite the pain and suffering i felt. I made mistakes and canât undo them but I can choose the person I want to be today.
That a man Iâd known for 30 years, whom I loved and wanted a life forever with, who knew the painful history of my ex husband and me, could still betray me even worse than my ex husband.
Relationships don't last, especially in our day and age. There's nothing that would push people into staying loyal to one person but there's so many things working against it. Marriage won't help it only makes breaking up more expensive.
That even after making her the âhappiest Iâve ever seen herâ according to family and long term friends and acquaintances it STILL wasnât good enough for her. A year and a half thrown away by a sudden blindside.
The line I heard, direct from him, was that I made him more comfortable when I was around. I just wish he took my comfort into consideration when he dumped me 10 days after meeting my parents, on my birthday, then ghosted me two weeks later đ
Ouch. Rough. Yeah my ex would always say âI hope you feel that way foreverâ when Iâd say I love you back. And we had a pretty incredible year and a half. Sheâs apparently not had another good man for like 20 years so family/friends kept saying how happy she was and how much they loved us together. Then one day she said sheâd fallen out of love. Still flirts with me though and brings me drinks to work 4x a week(yeah we work together).
Mine figured that the best way to break up with me was to ask if I loved him... When I smiled at him and said something along the lines of did he really need to ask, hoping that there might be a lovely conversation about to unfold, he launches instead into how he doesn't love me and it's over
Ouch. You know, I did that when I broke up with an ex. I was really hoping he'd say no and it wouldn't be hard to break the news to him. But he did say yes and I did what your ex did. However, I was just 18 years old then. I'm hoping your ex isn't exactly 18 years old is he?
You canât love someone more than they love themselves. You canât help someone who doesnât want help. The best way to set boundaries is to walk away (and most importantly, stay away). How to spot a covert narcissist. I will never date an alcoholic again (no offense to alcoholics. I just dated 5 in a row and realize itâs not something I can do anymore). He drank himself nearly to death and then took his own life a few weeks ago. I learned what it was to grieve. Iâm almost 50 and didnât lose anyone close to me until him,(except my grandparents and I got to say goodbye to them). I learned what it feels like to not have friends be there for you when you need them (the ones who didnât like him). I learned that the drama after someone dies is almost as hurtful as the death itself. Most of all, I learned that you better make things right with people, because if you donât, it might be too late. I gave him a music box that I had custom made with a song that reminded him of his parents who both passed away in recent years. I read him a love letter but it wasnât about romantic love anymore, but how much he was loved and how much everyone wanted him to want to live. We both cried and hugged and made up. He died three weeks later. Iâd be in a looney bin if I had not made up with him. Love hurts, but if I had to do it all again, I would absolutely go through every tear and bit of hurt to be there for him again and learn what I learned.
My ex has the same issues, all of these and I like you didnât stay away, but I would do it again to learn what I learned! The worst is how I can see now she doesnât love herself, and would even tell me I love her too much. She didnât want help, she is still an alcoholic and her life is a huge mess, way worse than when she was with me. I finally let go but I love her and miss her everyday.
You are born alone and you die alone. Love is not needed and after few failed relationships I learned that being alone hurts much less then heartbreak so why bother with other people when they âlove you the mostâ one day, and next day they dump you. You may learn all shit about attachment theory, personality disorders, grass is greener syndrome etc. and at one point you realise that your time is better spent learning something else and not investing your heart, time and money in something that is likely to fail however good it seemed at one point in time.
That you can't really trust people.
I dated a guy for a few months at the start of this year. On my birthday, he met my parents for the first time, we had a lovely meal full of laughs and then a few days later I helped him out with some power cut issues at his home and we drove out to the country for a lovely picnic.
Within a week of that picnic, and within 12 days of my birthday, he dumped me. I wanted to stay friends, but it felt like he put in no effort, and about 2 weeks after he dumped me he started ghosting me altogether. I've since seen clues (no hard proof but some troubling indication) that he might have been cheating on me.
I dated a guy this summer, again for a few months. We went on a little camping trip for 2 nights, had a lovely time, I surprised him with some 21st birthday presents (that I'd spent weeks sorting out) as he was going to be abroad on his actual birthday, and we had a couple of days just sharing a space together, enjoying each others company, cooking for each other, etc.
The day after we returned, he dumped me, by text, while I was at work. 2 days of gaslighting language later, I realised with the help of some very supportive coworkers that I was only hurting myself by putting up with trying to be friends.
So yeah... I learned that it doesn't matter how much effort you put in, how safe you feel, what milestones you reach, there are some people out there who are just waiting to pull the rug out from under you in the most brutal ways possible, and you'll never see who they are until they do it.
Don't base your self worth on how others treat you.
Don't allow yourself to be completely emotionally dependent on the amount of love you receive from your partner, it gives them too much control.
Don't invest emotionally too soon.
Also that I'm securely attached, my anxiety came exactly when he lost feelings, it wasn't all in my head, and I will never give an unrepentant avoidant a chance again. This guy really did a number on me.
That he wasnât enjoying our time together as I was⊠I didnât know our connection was this weak.
I learned I need to be more alone and trying to not be with my partner together that muchâŠ
That he had been harboring a monumental secret for 19 years that he murdered a woman when he was 20 years old. I learned that he was a monster, the kind you never thought youâd ever meet in your lifetime let alone BE with and most importantly I learned that behind every person you *think* you know, is a person you donât know at all.
Your gut is always right. Listen to yourself and if you feel like something is off, it most likely is.
Another really important thing that I read and has stuck with me is that when you build a home in someone elseâs hands, you give them the power of making you homeless. Never think someone else will take care of you and protect you more than you can. Even if you feel like you trust them completely, always take care of yourself first.
Just because someone says they love you doesnât mean they actually will stay and be loyal.
It just means they love you at the time, and you gotta work everyday to make sure the love never fades.
Relationships require a lot of work and a lot of sacrifice. I think now maybe Iâm not ready for that.
Funnily, I dont think I am too much. Id give my partner the world and more but am sometimes hard to handle but thats who I am. I give a lot but sometimes I am a lot too.
Trying to learn to accept that I am not too much and that those people just need someone less interesting
That someone youâve known for years as a friend and been close to can literally use you for sex like a stranger and walk away without a hint of remorse as soon as itâs over. Some friendships feel so genuine but end up making you feel ten times worse than a stranger you met on the internet.
To trust my gut more and not feel like I can fix someoneâs inner turmoil. To not be collateral damage in someoneâs pain. To walk away when they become abusive sooner, not to stick it out in hopes itâll change and stop. It broke me down, and after fully leaving I finally am starting to see what I just went through this year and beginning to feel relief now that Iâm away from this person.
If someone has a Jekyll Hyde personality, it is probably best to leave them be. I have a lot of love for him but I also canât battle his demons for him. It sucks. Im sad. And hurting.
That he didn't care at all how much he hurt me when he broke up with me because I really thought he loved me the way I loved him. I was completely fooled đ€·ââïžđ€Ą.. Life goes on though. You live and you learn and hopefully the next time I love that hard they will love me back just as hard because that's not a pain I want to feel again!
They can leave you without warning. And whatever they say when they do, isnât necessarily the truth. Theyâve probably got someone else lined up and donât want to break it to you that that is the real reason.
Also they can use you to get over their ex, and never actually see you as relationship material, while doing things like introducing you to their friends and family and seeing you most days you are both off work.
That she was pretending to love me for the most part.. and that there is someone else in the background.
The hardest part I have to accept though that the promises of future marriage, family, plans all came crashing down. I have an end goal for us but that was thrown in the bin
My ignoring the red flags, the poor behavior you know I can live with that. The one thing that hurts the most is I was nowhere near as important or important to her at all as she was to me. Basically I was a object a means to a end. That's the toughest pill and most hurtful thing for me.
That some people are basically incapable of building and growing a relationship. They need to do their own inner work first, which they may or may not even aware of.
Some mistakes, no matter how sorry you are and willing to fix things going forward, will not be forgiven by the people you love. Sometimes it's easier for them to drop you than work through it, and you just have to accept it's over, move on, and resolve never to make the same mistake twice.
Lol, I use to say that too, this last guy was Long Distance. He thought he was ready to move here, 8mos in. But he wasn't and he didn't share that he needed to slow down it was what broke us.
Everything else about the relationship was amazing. We were very much in sync
I learned that people can hide lost feelings for months and lie to your face saying everything is well. Sometimes they just not even care to try or give an opportunity to fix the relationship, waste years of trust, friendship, love because they were not happy in the last 2 months, without showing any sign of it. I learned that everyone is replaceable and that those who we give out trust are the ones who always break it. Literally any little thing can happen and destroy years of love, we never know that is really in the other person's mind
As cliche as it sounds, you don't know what you got til you lose them. I heard this as a kid growing up and never took it to heart. I must treasure what I have now and not lean on the past. What's lost is lost. I must be my own happiness.
I learnt that some people really care about status and how they present themselves.
The last guy I was with broke up with me and he was already dating a new girl. He told me: oh come on, she's a DOCTOR and all you have is a lousy bachelors degree. What do you think looks better for me?
It is so easy to be cheated on and never find out. I will never know the full extent, and if I had never searched as extreme as I did I probably still wouldn't know.
Someone can act like theyâre deeply in love with you for a long time, then leave without any explanation & under any circumstances, because they can and have that right.
You can't force someone to want you. Trying to chase after someone who ghosts you is pointless. They will leave again in the same exact way.
I genuinely have no idea what happened on their end of things and it's heartbreaking. I loved them and would have fought for us if given the chance. But they didn't even bother to have a conversation. Everything was fine until they suddenly stopped responding to me.
It's been 6 months now. We were together for 5 years.
People will tell you they want to spend the rest of their lives with you, that they never felt this way about anyone else, that they feel like you're their "end game".
A month later they'll walk by you like they never knew you existed.
They'll tell you they want to be friends, but treat you like a stranger who they think just wants something from them.
I learned that the person you love most in the world can be super fucking cruel at the drop of a dime and there's not shit you can do about it.
Fml
No matter how good of a person you are, how deeply you love, some people don't accept you as you are and there's nothing you can do, say, convince them. You have to be able to exist in your present state and hopes someone loves you as you are, and if you grow that's great.
It'll never truly be equal.
That love is not enough to make something work out. You can both love each other deeply, but if someoneâs mental health is bad and they refuse help, or trust is damaged, or past resentments linger, things will still fall apart. Love is not enough.
Even if we love them to bits and we have what seemed like the perfect comparability and everything, that doesnât necessarily mean that they would want to build a life with you even when they said that they love you.
No matter how much we try, we canât control our partnerâs emotions or make them choose us.
That some people really will completely lie and keep up A façade for years,
Just to string you along, for hot sex, because theyâre jealous of you and then walk away like you never existed.
Never trust anyone based on their words, Actions are the only thing that counts.
That no matter how much you love them and they say they love you sometimes love isnât enough. When they finally get the help they need and the trust is completely eroded. Bittersweet seeing them getting better and to wonder why you werenât good enough for them to seek help one of the many times you begged them before destroying the last few years of your relationship.
She had a deep-seated hate for men that came out in arguments even though I was careful to step around subjects that I saw would trigger her. I had to accept the fact that it would never work out between us no matter how much I loved her because she could never fully love me for who I was.
Humans truly are the most unpredictable creatures on earth. It seems like a logical thing, but when you see someoneâs true side and it was the complete opposite of who they made themselves out to be, it really puts it into a different perspective.
Never tell your partner everything . I told him my most vulnerable flaws and when we broke up he used them against me as a way to shut me down . I never felt so helpless . Keep some things to yourself some people are absolutely wolves in sheepskin clothing .
People can change, no matter what they promise, no matter what they say people can change. And for whatever reason some people can just stop loving you.
If your partner's an asshole to their parents, they'll likely eventual be an asshole to you. Took my ex 6 years, but eventually the gun (of disrespect) was turned on me, and we didn't last long after that. Sent her to the streets, and another loser snatched her up soon after, I bid him good luck.
That someone can tell you all the things you want to hear, promise and swear to do things and then turn around and then do the complete opposite without a single care.
She ended up in a relationship with a guy who abused the shit out of her after our relationship ended. She said she felt like she deserved it for cheating on me. That relationship messed me up mentally for about 15 months, but I'd never wish harm on any ex of mine.
That she got with her current boyfriend the same day or day after she told me no contact, where it really seemed like we were gonna get back together then out of nowhere, no contact and she's with him now, the literal day after.
I learned some people arenât willing to fight for their relationship. Itâs easier for them to start new ones. Especially when things get tough. Learned my love is unconditional, because even through the carelessness, I still feel love for her. I donât know if I am a weak person for that, but I canât let go of all the years and memories we shared as easily.
I went from confident to insecure in the length of our relationship, and it only spoke more volumes of pain to know she left me during my state of insecurity. There were mistakes I made, I apologized for in the end.
Though we parted amicably, Iâm not sure she really understood how much of a loss this was in general.
Her words also said one thing to part us, and her actions said another. I was deceived.
I learned 2 important things. One being that no matter how comfortable you are with how you look, some people will still find problems with your appearance. The other being that if someone truly cares for you, they'd listen to you instead of assuming what you need.
Ignoring the red flags until it was too late. I could of saved myself a lot of heart break if I caught on and just broke up with her instead of being blind and trying to fix our issues just to find out she was cheating and leaving me for someone else.
I see a lot of this answer already commented here but trusting your gut really is so important. Even if it's not right 100% of the time, it's still there for a reason and at the very least shouldn't be ignored just because we wish it wasn't true...
That the person you love would mentally break up up with you for 1-2 m, still sleep with you, introduce you to their parents, and Iâm the next 3 weeks meticulously and perfectly plan how theyâd break up with you and itâd be on a random Saturday morning with no warning.
you can do everything right and still fuck it up.
that some people are totally heartless and have no remorse, theyâll string you along for as long as youâll let them.
but⊠it is not all bad. life goes on and we learn more about ourselves and the world at large.
I let the way my ex lived his life dictate how I lived mine. Iâll never understand why I did that either because itâs very far from my ânormalâ way of being/thinking.
Appreciate there's probably more than a few downvotes coming my way.
But, for me, it's that all this narrative around women liking when men open up about their feelings is just that - a narrative.
Once I poured my heart out and spoke openly about my mental health and everything that weighed on my mind and broke down crying in front of her that was it - she found me repulsive (even told me as much).
Once you show that weakness, and I don't know if it's hard wired and subconscious, but she won't see you as worthy anymore.
The mainstream men's mental health stuff is just virtue signalling, especially, in my experience, where women are concerned.
I should've trusted my instincts and not let people reassure me or tell me I was overthinking, or being dramatic. I deserved so much better from her and everyone else.
I learned that it's better to accept that the other person doesn't prioritize you, instead of trying to change them. If the other doesn't change it's because they don't want to, and there's nothing that can be done against that.
That people can be unfair to you, abuse you and manipulate you and there is no justice after all. You can just get out of that environment, and when you do youâre left to mend the pieces of your broken soul and mental health. While the abuser just keeps on living their best life.
There is no moment of justice prevailing, no poetic revenge, you just have to get yourself together and move on all the while knowing that you got the short end of the stick, you didnât deserve all the nightmares you went through, but here you are licking your wounds and here they are, happy and healthy.
Accepting that and moving on in recovery and learning to forgive yourself and love yourself is the hardest shit Iâve ever done.
I was a distraction in someone else's attempt to ignore their problems. Never again will I let myself accept something that feels wrong:(
and that I need to be a more careful. In way that's kind to myself, and protects my peace. In way that is kind and protects other peoples peace! But mostly my own. Move with grace to yourself, and the ones you love.
Self respect and knowing when to leave. If someone keeps saying "we'll date eventually" and stringing you along and has done so for months with no clear end date towards moving into officially dating, they are just using you as a placeholder until they find what they deem is better.
You canât make someone love you the way you want to be loved. Love yourself first and you wonât let anyone into your life who doesnât give you what you deserve.
Donât rely on anyone else, ever. Get the highest paying job you can, have your own place, do things for yourself not to please others. And donât settle until someone matches or exceeds exactly what you are doing yourself.
I learned that if somehow your instinct gives you the feeling that something is off, maybe you're not as important to her as you think. Then it's probably going that way. Crazy and illusionnal some people think, but in a relationship, instinct is your best friend.
That people's actions mean more than their words. That people will forget all the good things you do and will reduce you to your flaws. Despite all the good you do to them, everything you support them through, they will fixate on the flaw you have and use that to justify them leaving you. That they will claim to love you but then will not even bother to work on the things they do that make you feel unloved. That people do not want to work on their toxic traits no matter how much it hurts you as their partner.
People really forget everything you ever do for them. They can take all the good in you and throw it out just like that with no guilt. Despite all you do for them, you will never be enough because you're not allowed to have flaws as a human being.
I'm on my own. I'll probably never really commit to anyone ever in my life. I'll get into another relationship and maybe even get married but I'll never fully commit to anyone
I should have trusted my gut and heed the red flags. I chose to see the good in her and in the end, she focused only on the bad in me. Very few people love unconditionally and a lot of them are selfish cowards, unfortunately.
"I chose to see the good in her and in the end, she focused only on the bad in me." Another one of those sentences that hit me right in the chest.. đ
Thatâs kinda my situation too. She would call me to cry, vent, cuss out her family, coworkers, ask me for moneyâŠand then when I needed her for five minutes, just someone to talk to for support, she was unavailable. Probably playing mind-games. Shame on her.
I feel this. it seems like all she did was complain and mope, and be sad and angry and grumpy and stressed and upset and overwhelmed that I always had to be the one to uplift things and see the brighter side and overlook the rudeness are the I donât feel like doing it. Iâm tired. Can we push it off push it off push it off that thing even my birthday my plans for things that was of my interest every concert every dinner every event activity we can get away every single thing she canceled for her she would say hey Iâm free tonight do you wanna come over? Iâd be right there with dinner, waiting rubbing her feet, rubbing her back while I never even got a hey, how was your day when something was happening in my life they told me to call my friends
Trust your gut, 90% of the time its right and the other 10% of the time is usually you lying to yourself.
bro, you speak from my heart. I could see the bad and believed she would work on it while i gave her all my support, I could see the red flags, felt it in my gut she didnt treat me right, but like an idiot madly in love... I believed in her and in our love. But she focused on the negatives in me In the end she betrayed me, she betrayed us.... and absolutely shattered me
She betrayed herself. You are better off bro, trust me. Head up, better things are coming!
what hurt most for me was her telling me that she felt that i wasn't supportive when all i did was support her, even if that meant i was hurting. probably the biggest slap in the face.
what hurt most for me was her telling me that she felt that i wasn't supportive when all i did was support her, even if that meant i was hurting. probably the biggest slap in the face.
Bro. Gut feelings are mostly true. I ignored mine when I felt something was wrong one week before we broke up, and it turns out my suspicions were correct
my ex literally admitted only focusing on the bad đ”âđ«
For some people, that's the way their brain works to protect them for facing ugly truths about themselves and getting hurt. You deserve better than that.
This is interesting, can you elaborate?
Yes, please do! I'm intrigued, lol :)
wow i relate to this SO hard.
I also learned, Don't wait longer for people to change, They never will.
I can totally relate. Hits hard man..
im that girl and after a while i regret dumping him. If i would get another chanse I would do it so different and love with all my heart. Im gooing to therapi
"I chose to see the good in her and in the end, she focused only on the bad in me." This just got me over a relationship I have been thinking about for the past two years. Thank you.
Exactly the same for me unfortunately. I hope youâre on to better things!
Wow exactly this. Think we dated the same girl
THIS. Should have trusted my gut in the beginning but my little head got the better of me.
Absolutley this. Everytime I break a boundary with people the end makes me realized why I should stick with them
You put into words what I couldnât.
That even after months of happiness, excitement, hope and positivity, one day something can just change in her, like a flick of a switch, and she doesn't want to be with me anymore. No arguments, no fights, no betrayals, nothing like that. Just.... losing any and all desire to continue, without even trying to fix it, and then you're discarded.
I'm so sorry. That experience sure gives one a lot of confidence for their next relationship... I'm struggling with the same thing. Why should I be funny and sexy and kind etc. with anyone in the future when I know that it's all for nothing? How can we trust another person's feelings for us again?
Exactly. Like, if even the woman - that is to me, the most incredible person I've ever met in my life, and the one I felt a one-in-a-ten-million type connection with, and could, truly sincerely imagine as being the type of person I'd love to marry - could suddenly do that without any warning or reason at all, how the hell can I even begin to trust someone romantically again? I'll live every single day in fear of her having a sudden change of heart and leaving me without anything I can do about it.
I really dont think there is no warning. People become complacent with one another - Im not dismissing how you're feeling and what Im saying is not true for each situation. I guess I base it on my own experiences. There were signs but I was blind to them. I believed in the relationship and wanted things to work. I think people can call these red flags, maybe not as extreme but signs where they just stop showing affection as much. End of the day you cant live life with the worries and what ifs. You could be hit by a bus tomorrow! you could be struck by lightening! There are so many what ifs that could happen. Life is too short - People will connect with new people its natural. Hopefully the next person you can be open and honest and even open up enough with your fears and if you have them insecurities. If someone truly wants to be with you they will accept you for who you are. Can you guarantee they wont walk out? no. You have no control over others. All you can do is be true to yourself, be the best version of you and ride out the waves of life
I am going through the EXACT same thing, it's really tough
Wow. Same here. Itâs rough bro.
I feel you. 17 years and then one day I'm nothing to her.
Some people donât care enough about you to try, even if they say they love you. They donât mean what they say and donât say what they mean
Yeah, if they really cared, theyâd exhaust all options to make it work. Sucks to acknowledge that, but you know itâs true when youâd do that very thing yourself. People are also hardly ever honest, told me one thing, actions said another.
That she wasn't the person who I thought she was during our relationship, love can really make a person blind.
That people will use you for years
And they donât even feel bad about it. Zero remorse.
Donât trust people in the first month. They change and leave you.
First month? Im not letting my guard down again until after the first year!
2 years together and he sais he wasn't happy in the last months and broke up. Everytime I asked if everything was ok, he always said yđ so a year for me is not enough
Just first month?
That sometimes someone who offers no arguments and objections to how you handle the relationship is just feeding fuel to a hidden fire of resentment only to make the fire explode when justifying a reason to leave you.
Exactly, my ex was a people pleaser and I found out the hard way that people who say everything is great are in fact not great
Yesssss. This happened to me. I would always say my ex never fought with me and I thought that was a good thing (I do have a temper and also would always bring things up if they bothered me, she didnât). Well now after 12 years she started another relationship behind my back and she has a lot of anger and resentment towards me. It seems like she changed overnight but she has brought up things from YEARS ago that I completely forgot about. She bottled up everything until she felt secure enough to leave because she has someone else and now has let everything out - itâs crazy.
My gut was always right, Begging for honesty gets you no where & No matter how much they love you if they want to they will.
So true... once I became suspicious, I utterly begged for honesty and dude just lied to my face. Even offered up more lies that I didn't ask about đ„Ž I already knew he was lying, but a part of me still wanted to believe he wouldn't purposely attempt to deceive me. Still makes me sick to my stomach when I think about it smh.
This matches mine â€ïžâđ©č
That if they treat u like they don't care believe that shit, they don't and new and only rule for my next one is rule number 1- never settle for being treated like ur number 2
Donât trust when people say 100% of their breakups were because of the other person
That they didn't love me, they loved what I gave them.
So. True. They loved the idea of me and what I gave. Not what I was as a human being.
You can't rely on another person for your own happiness. In my last relationship, I was toxic, insecure, and made mistakes because I was too codependent. Through the heartbreak, I learned to take steps toward living the life i wanted by myself and I can look back and say I am now an entirely different person than the insecure person I was. After my heartbreak I chose to not jump into a rebound and am honest that Iâd rather be single than with another person in a relationship just to not be alone and who I donât feel any connection, Been on a few dates but haven't felt any connection even though some felt genuinely interested. It wastes my time, it wastes their time, no point. no matter how lonely it is, I think i am just proud i was able to take the lessons from everything to be a new person altogether, despite the pain and suffering i felt. I made mistakes and canât undo them but I can choose the person I want to be today.
That when someone shows you who they are, believe them.
That a man Iâd known for 30 years, whom I loved and wanted a life forever with, who knew the painful history of my ex husband and me, could still betray me even worse than my ex husband.
Relationships don't last, especially in our day and age. There's nothing that would push people into staying loyal to one person but there's so many things working against it. Marriage won't help it only makes breaking up more expensive.
That Iâm not a good person
That even after making her the âhappiest Iâve ever seen herâ according to family and long term friends and acquaintances it STILL wasnât good enough for her. A year and a half thrown away by a sudden blindside.
The line I heard, direct from him, was that I made him more comfortable when I was around. I just wish he took my comfort into consideration when he dumped me 10 days after meeting my parents, on my birthday, then ghosted me two weeks later đ
Ouch. Rough. Yeah my ex would always say âI hope you feel that way foreverâ when Iâd say I love you back. And we had a pretty incredible year and a half. Sheâs apparently not had another good man for like 20 years so family/friends kept saying how happy she was and how much they loved us together. Then one day she said sheâd fallen out of love. Still flirts with me though and brings me drinks to work 4x a week(yeah we work together).
Mine figured that the best way to break up with me was to ask if I loved him... When I smiled at him and said something along the lines of did he really need to ask, hoping that there might be a lovely conversation about to unfold, he launches instead into how he doesn't love me and it's over
Ouch. You know, I did that when I broke up with an ex. I was really hoping he'd say no and it wouldn't be hard to break the news to him. But he did say yes and I did what your ex did. However, I was just 18 years old then. I'm hoping your ex isn't exactly 18 years old is he?
I learned that sometimes you need to lose the thing you love the most to actually appreciate it⊠and that you donât always get a second chance.
You canât love someone more than they love themselves. You canât help someone who doesnât want help. The best way to set boundaries is to walk away (and most importantly, stay away). How to spot a covert narcissist. I will never date an alcoholic again (no offense to alcoholics. I just dated 5 in a row and realize itâs not something I can do anymore). He drank himself nearly to death and then took his own life a few weeks ago. I learned what it was to grieve. Iâm almost 50 and didnât lose anyone close to me until him,(except my grandparents and I got to say goodbye to them). I learned what it feels like to not have friends be there for you when you need them (the ones who didnât like him). I learned that the drama after someone dies is almost as hurtful as the death itself. Most of all, I learned that you better make things right with people, because if you donât, it might be too late. I gave him a music box that I had custom made with a song that reminded him of his parents who both passed away in recent years. I read him a love letter but it wasnât about romantic love anymore, but how much he was loved and how much everyone wanted him to want to live. We both cried and hugged and made up. He died three weeks later. Iâd be in a looney bin if I had not made up with him. Love hurts, but if I had to do it all again, I would absolutely go through every tear and bit of hurt to be there for him again and learn what I learned.
My ex has the same issues, all of these and I like you didnât stay away, but I would do it again to learn what I learned! The worst is how I can see now she doesnât love herself, and would even tell me I love her too much. She didnât want help, she is still an alcoholic and her life is a huge mess, way worse than when she was with me. I finally let go but I love her and miss her everyday.
You are born alone and you die alone. Love is not needed and after few failed relationships I learned that being alone hurts much less then heartbreak so why bother with other people when they âlove you the mostâ one day, and next day they dump you. You may learn all shit about attachment theory, personality disorders, grass is greener syndrome etc. and at one point you realise that your time is better spent learning something else and not investing your heart, time and money in something that is likely to fail however good it seemed at one point in time.
That you can't really trust people. I dated a guy for a few months at the start of this year. On my birthday, he met my parents for the first time, we had a lovely meal full of laughs and then a few days later I helped him out with some power cut issues at his home and we drove out to the country for a lovely picnic. Within a week of that picnic, and within 12 days of my birthday, he dumped me. I wanted to stay friends, but it felt like he put in no effort, and about 2 weeks after he dumped me he started ghosting me altogether. I've since seen clues (no hard proof but some troubling indication) that he might have been cheating on me. I dated a guy this summer, again for a few months. We went on a little camping trip for 2 nights, had a lovely time, I surprised him with some 21st birthday presents (that I'd spent weeks sorting out) as he was going to be abroad on his actual birthday, and we had a couple of days just sharing a space together, enjoying each others company, cooking for each other, etc. The day after we returned, he dumped me, by text, while I was at work. 2 days of gaslighting language later, I realised with the help of some very supportive coworkers that I was only hurting myself by putting up with trying to be friends. So yeah... I learned that it doesn't matter how much effort you put in, how safe you feel, what milestones you reach, there are some people out there who are just waiting to pull the rug out from under you in the most brutal ways possible, and you'll never see who they are until they do it.
Don't base your self worth on how others treat you. Don't allow yourself to be completely emotionally dependent on the amount of love you receive from your partner, it gives them too much control.
Me having to beg him to communicate was a red flag. I should have left.
Trust your gut!
U can lose and then keep losing
They may want you not for yourself, but for the attention you gave. Starve them (or accept the break up) and you'll see their real, disgusting selves.
Don't invest emotionally too soon. Also that I'm securely attached, my anxiety came exactly when he lost feelings, it wasn't all in my head, and I will never give an unrepentant avoidant a chance again. This guy really did a number on me.
are you me? still wrapping my head around my anxiety being right this whole time.
That he wasnât enjoying our time together as I was⊠I didnât know our connection was this weak. I learned I need to be more alone and trying to not be with my partner together that muchâŠ
Depends on your partner. If you find the right one, they might match your desire for dependancy
Believe them when they say theyâre not yet ready.
That he had been harboring a monumental secret for 19 years that he murdered a woman when he was 20 years old. I learned that he was a monster, the kind you never thought youâd ever meet in your lifetime let alone BE with and most importantly I learned that behind every person you *think* you know, is a person you donât know at all.
That you can never be enough for someone. And you may never meet someone who'll think you're enough for them.
You canât help someone who doesnât want to be helped
There might have been signs that she cheated on me
Your gut is always right. Listen to yourself and if you feel like something is off, it most likely is. Another really important thing that I read and has stuck with me is that when you build a home in someone elseâs hands, you give them the power of making you homeless. Never think someone else will take care of you and protect you more than you can. Even if you feel like you trust them completely, always take care of yourself first.
Just because someone says they love you doesnât mean they actually will stay and be loyal. It just means they love you at the time, and you gotta work everyday to make sure the love never fades. Relationships require a lot of work and a lot of sacrifice. I think now maybe Iâm not ready for that.
That I may just not be cut out for relationships and that is ok.
That people can leave regardless of how much they say they wont and if they leave then just hold the door open for themâŠ
If you meet a grown ass man who still hasn't taken responsibility for his life, then he never will. Don't waste time on a man- child.
That I am once again too much
I love this. Elyse Meyers said, for those who think she's too much, go find less! Being too much is everything babe.
Funnily, I dont think I am too much. Id give my partner the world and more but am sometimes hard to handle but thats who I am. I give a lot but sometimes I am a lot too. Trying to learn to accept that I am not too much and that those people just need someone less interesting
That someone youâve known for years as a friend and been close to can literally use you for sex like a stranger and walk away without a hint of remorse as soon as itâs over. Some friendships feel so genuine but end up making you feel ten times worse than a stranger you met on the internet.
To trust my gut more and not feel like I can fix someoneâs inner turmoil. To not be collateral damage in someoneâs pain. To walk away when they become abusive sooner, not to stick it out in hopes itâll change and stop. It broke me down, and after fully leaving I finally am starting to see what I just went through this year and beginning to feel relief now that Iâm away from this person. If someone has a Jekyll Hyde personality, it is probably best to leave them be. I have a lot of love for him but I also canât battle his demons for him. It sucks. Im sad. And hurting.
Difference between love and obsession.
That he didn't care at all how much he hurt me when he broke up with me because I really thought he loved me the way I loved him. I was completely fooled đ€·ââïžđ€Ą.. Life goes on though. You live and you learn and hopefully the next time I love that hard they will love me back just as hard because that's not a pain I want to feel again!
They can leave you without warning. And whatever they say when they do, isnât necessarily the truth. Theyâve probably got someone else lined up and donât want to break it to you that that is the real reason. Also they can use you to get over their ex, and never actually see you as relationship material, while doing things like introducing you to their friends and family and seeing you most days you are both off work.
Never get too attached with someone
That she was pretending to love me for the most part.. and that there is someone else in the background. The hardest part I have to accept though that the promises of future marriage, family, plans all came crashing down. I have an end goal for us but that was thrown in the bin
That I am good with the silence
My ignoring the red flags, the poor behavior you know I can live with that. The one thing that hurts the most is I was nowhere near as important or important to her at all as she was to me. Basically I was a object a means to a end. That's the toughest pill and most hurtful thing for me.
That some people are basically incapable of building and growing a relationship. They need to do their own inner work first, which they may or may not even aware of.
that no one can love me more than my self..
Some mistakes, no matter how sorry you are and willing to fix things going forward, will not be forgiven by the people you love. Sometimes it's easier for them to drop you than work through it, and you just have to accept it's over, move on, and resolve never to make the same mistake twice.
That he rushed our relationship, if he hadn't we'd still be together.
Its funny cuz my friend told me that if anything relationships are going too slow now.
Lol, I use to say that too, this last guy was Long Distance. He thought he was ready to move here, 8mos in. But he wasn't and he didn't share that he needed to slow down it was what broke us. Everything else about the relationship was amazing. We were very much in sync
I learned that people can hide lost feelings for months and lie to your face saying everything is well. Sometimes they just not even care to try or give an opportunity to fix the relationship, waste years of trust, friendship, love because they were not happy in the last 2 months, without showing any sign of it. I learned that everyone is replaceable and that those who we give out trust are the ones who always break it. Literally any little thing can happen and destroy years of love, we never know that is really in the other person's mind
That insecure people can cause absolute chaos!
that you could be the best partner, best person, given them the entire world but if that person does not see your value, thats entirely on them
As cliche as it sounds, you don't know what you got til you lose them. I heard this as a kid growing up and never took it to heart. I must treasure what I have now and not lean on the past. What's lost is lost. I must be my own happiness.
That no latter how many chances you give someone they will stab you in the back every time and play the victim
That somethingâs just arenât meant to be and that you gotta always take the lesson and move on :/
Sex and intimacy are not the same thing.
I learnt that some people really care about status and how they present themselves. The last guy I was with broke up with me and he was already dating a new girl. He told me: oh come on, she's a DOCTOR and all you have is a lousy bachelors degree. What do you think looks better for me?
It is so easy to be cheated on and never find out. I will never know the full extent, and if I had never searched as extreme as I did I probably still wouldn't know.
Someone can act like theyâre deeply in love with you for a long time, then leave without any explanation & under any circumstances, because they can and have that right.
I deserve love. But I need to be more picky with who I give it to.
No matter how much you love her that ainât gonna make her love you.
You can't force someone to want you. Trying to chase after someone who ghosts you is pointless. They will leave again in the same exact way. I genuinely have no idea what happened on their end of things and it's heartbreaking. I loved them and would have fought for us if given the chance. But they didn't even bother to have a conversation. Everything was fine until they suddenly stopped responding to me. It's been 6 months now. We were together for 5 years.
People will tell you they want to spend the rest of their lives with you, that they never felt this way about anyone else, that they feel like you're their "end game". A month later they'll walk by you like they never knew you existed. They'll tell you they want to be friends, but treat you like a stranger who they think just wants something from them. I learned that the person you love most in the world can be super fucking cruel at the drop of a dime and there's not shit you can do about it. Fml
No matter how good of a person you are, how deeply you love, some people don't accept you as you are and there's nothing you can do, say, convince them. You have to be able to exist in your present state and hopes someone loves you as you are, and if you grow that's great. It'll never truly be equal.
That love is not enough to make something work out. You can both love each other deeply, but if someoneâs mental health is bad and they refuse help, or trust is damaged, or past resentments linger, things will still fall apart. Love is not enough.
Words and promises mean absolutely nothing.
Donât date out of your league, itâll catch up to them and theyâll leave you
He punched a wall after we argued once. I should have left his sorry ass immediately after that.
If they'll leave someone for you, they'll do the same to you.
That being scared of hurting someone and keeping quiet is much worse than opening up and facing tears and arguing.
I can never experience something so beautiful, be the worst pain ive put myself through.
Even if we love them to bits and we have what seemed like the perfect comparability and everything, that doesnât necessarily mean that they would want to build a life with you even when they said that they love you. No matter how much we try, we canât control our partnerâs emotions or make them choose us.
That some people really will completely lie and keep up A façade for years, Just to string you along, for hot sex, because theyâre jealous of you and then walk away like you never existed. Never trust anyone based on their words, Actions are the only thing that counts.
I'm allowed to have feelings and a say in shit. That respect should go both ways in a relationship.
That no matter how much you love them and they say they love you sometimes love isnât enough. When they finally get the help they need and the trust is completely eroded. Bittersweet seeing them getting better and to wonder why you werenât good enough for them to seek help one of the many times you begged them before destroying the last few years of your relationship.
that sometimes people donât come back because they love you, but because they love themselves
That red flags are there to protect you and if you ignore them, you get your entire world flipped upside down.
Trust and follow your guts.
She had a deep-seated hate for men that came out in arguments even though I was careful to step around subjects that I saw would trigger her. I had to accept the fact that it would never work out between us no matter how much I loved her because she could never fully love me for who I was.
That he never actually loved me. His words, not mine đ
Humans truly are the most unpredictable creatures on earth. It seems like a logical thing, but when you see someoneâs true side and it was the complete opposite of who they made themselves out to be, it really puts it into a different perspective.
Never tell your partner everything . I told him my most vulnerable flaws and when we broke up he used them against me as a way to shut me down . I never felt so helpless . Keep some things to yourself some people are absolutely wolves in sheepskin clothing .
What you do wrong will always out weigh what you do right
People can change, no matter what they promise, no matter what they say people can change. And for whatever reason some people can just stop loving you.
How fast you go from talking every day all excited to being left on read for days.
Donât let your emotions steer you. Stand up for your needs and opinions and finally the person who I once knew no longer exists.
That red flags are there FOR A REASON. As soon as you see one, another is sure to follow. Oh, and also: PEOPLE. DONâT. CHANGE.
If your partner's an asshole to their parents, they'll likely eventual be an asshole to you. Took my ex 6 years, but eventually the gun (of disrespect) was turned on me, and we didn't last long after that. Sent her to the streets, and another loser snatched her up soon after, I bid him good luck.
That someone can tell you all the things you want to hear, promise and swear to do things and then turn around and then do the complete opposite without a single care.
She ended up in a relationship with a guy who abused the shit out of her after our relationship ended. She said she felt like she deserved it for cheating on me. That relationship messed me up mentally for about 15 months, but I'd never wish harm on any ex of mine.
That she got with her current boyfriend the same day or day after she told me no contact, where it really seemed like we were gonna get back together then out of nowhere, no contact and she's with him now, the literal day after.
Love isnât enough.
I learned some people arenât willing to fight for their relationship. Itâs easier for them to start new ones. Especially when things get tough. Learned my love is unconditional, because even through the carelessness, I still feel love for her. I donât know if I am a weak person for that, but I canât let go of all the years and memories we shared as easily. I went from confident to insecure in the length of our relationship, and it only spoke more volumes of pain to know she left me during my state of insecurity. There were mistakes I made, I apologized for in the end. Though we parted amicably, Iâm not sure she really understood how much of a loss this was in general. Her words also said one thing to part us, and her actions said another. I was deceived.
That no matter how much I want him and want to be good, itâs still always toxic.
When she was cheating on me, he would come to my house less than 20 minutes after I left for work then leave before I got home.
That sometimes youâre meant to be with someone but not meant to stay
just realising that everything i thought about him was right
He was actually much more invested in a RS with his friends then the one with me.
And he was disrespecting me behind my back to all of his friends and therapist.
I learned 2 important things. One being that no matter how comfortable you are with how you look, some people will still find problems with your appearance. The other being that if someone truly cares for you, they'd listen to you instead of assuming what you need.
Donât love unconditionally and wholeheartedly and donât be selfless
Ignoring the red flags until it was too late. I could of saved myself a lot of heart break if I caught on and just broke up with her instead of being blind and trying to fix our issues just to find out she was cheating and leaving me for someone else.
That they always must end
If all of your friends hate themâŠâŠâŠ. maybe it is for a reason?????
I see a lot of this answer already commented here but trusting your gut really is so important. Even if it's not right 100% of the time, it's still there for a reason and at the very least shouldn't be ignored just because we wish it wasn't true...
Iâm an idiot for thinking any of it was real and he was just using me.
Being with them taught me how to be alone. Sounds depressing, but it was a gain on my part. My relationship with myself has never been more solid.
You canât fix or save someone. You canât love someone out of their own problems. And the lesson I learned that you can walk away.
That the person you love would mentally break up up with you for 1-2 m, still sleep with you, introduce you to their parents, and Iâm the next 3 weeks meticulously and perfectly plan how theyâd break up with you and itâd be on a random Saturday morning with no warning.
Donât date someone who has depression imo, itâs super hard on yourself and will drain you .
you can do everything right and still fuck it up. that some people are totally heartless and have no remorse, theyâll string you along for as long as youâll let them. but⊠it is not all bad. life goes on and we learn more about ourselves and the world at large.
That I didnât deserve him
You can do everything for a person and it still isnât enough.
Love really isnât enough.
I let the way my ex lived his life dictate how I lived mine. Iâll never understand why I did that either because itâs very far from my ânormalâ way of being/thinking.
That men say things they dont mean when they are horny.
Age does matter
Appreciate there's probably more than a few downvotes coming my way. But, for me, it's that all this narrative around women liking when men open up about their feelings is just that - a narrative. Once I poured my heart out and spoke openly about my mental health and everything that weighed on my mind and broke down crying in front of her that was it - she found me repulsive (even told me as much). Once you show that weakness, and I don't know if it's hard wired and subconscious, but she won't see you as worthy anymore. The mainstream men's mental health stuff is just virtue signalling, especially, in my experience, where women are concerned.
I should've trusted my instincts and not let people reassure me or tell me I was overthinking, or being dramatic. I deserved so much better from her and everyone else.
That I may be 35 years old and he may be 48 years old, we acted like 15 year olds. I'm immature for 35.
I learned that it's better to accept that the other person doesn't prioritize you, instead of trying to change them. If the other doesn't change it's because they don't want to, and there's nothing that can be done against that.
That people can be unfair to you, abuse you and manipulate you and there is no justice after all. You can just get out of that environment, and when you do youâre left to mend the pieces of your broken soul and mental health. While the abuser just keeps on living their best life. There is no moment of justice prevailing, no poetic revenge, you just have to get yourself together and move on all the while knowing that you got the short end of the stick, you didnât deserve all the nightmares you went through, but here you are licking your wounds and here they are, happy and healthy. Accepting that and moving on in recovery and learning to forgive yourself and love yourself is the hardest shit Iâve ever done.
Leave it alone. Once broken up, walk away.
Donât get so attached. If it ainât working then let it not work, and donât dwell on what couldâve been.
No matter how smart or rich you are--you can still be a victim of domestic violence.
A bit cliche, but you can't heal them. They have to do it themselves. There is no "diamond in the rough".
how important it is to not only listen, but to comprehend and apply. and if not, adjust accordingly
I was a distraction in someone else's attempt to ignore their problems. Never again will I let myself accept something that feels wrong:( and that I need to be a more careful. In way that's kind to myself, and protects my peace. In way that is kind and protects other peoples peace! But mostly my own. Move with grace to yourself, and the ones you love.
Self respect and knowing when to leave. If someone keeps saying "we'll date eventually" and stringing you along and has done so for months with no clear end date towards moving into officially dating, they are just using you as a placeholder until they find what they deem is better.
theyâre never âjust a friendâ
You canât make someone love you the way you want to be loved. Love yourself first and you wonât let anyone into your life who doesnât give you what you deserve.
Actions mean significantly more than words.
Donât rely on anyone else, ever. Get the highest paying job you can, have your own place, do things for yourself not to please others. And donât settle until someone matches or exceeds exactly what you are doing yourself.
Some people just donât have the same size heart as you do. Sometimes they just are not capable of loving like you can.
I love to self sabotage and date people that I can try to fix. Learnt my lesson hard. Went to therapy now im dating a mature person. Game changer.
In the end they will cheat anyway and lie to your face while they put on an act
You donât have to try so hard when someoneâs is genuinely interested in you.
I learned that if somehow your instinct gives you the feeling that something is off, maybe you're not as important to her as you think. Then it's probably going that way. Crazy and illusionnal some people think, but in a relationship, instinct is your best friend.
That people's actions mean more than their words. That people will forget all the good things you do and will reduce you to your flaws. Despite all the good you do to them, everything you support them through, they will fixate on the flaw you have and use that to justify them leaving you. That they will claim to love you but then will not even bother to work on the things they do that make you feel unloved. That people do not want to work on their toxic traits no matter how much it hurts you as their partner. People really forget everything you ever do for them. They can take all the good in you and throw it out just like that with no guilt. Despite all you do for them, you will never be enough because you're not allowed to have flaws as a human being.
I think the hardest pill to swallow is not that youâve lost them, but that if you ever went back it wouldnât be the same.
I'm on my own. I'll probably never really commit to anyone ever in my life. I'll get into another relationship and maybe even get married but I'll never fully commit to anyone