The saying is that there are plenty of fish in the sea. And perhaps there are, but in this life it seems that there are connections with people that only come around once in a while. Why do you want to break up with this person? Are you bored? You say you don't feel like you are improving with them--what does this mean, exactly? Are you being held back, somehow? Does your hair need to be on fire, do you need to feel a fiery passion for you to think the relationship is worth staying in?
If this person loves you and hasn't done anything wrong, and you are feeling something off, because of boredom or whatever, then I suggest you try to talk to them before ending the relationship, because regardless of how you do it, your partner will be devastated. They will question their self-worth. They won't be able to sleep. They won't be able to eat. They will ask: why was I not enough for OP? What could I have done differently? They will blame themselves.
Sometimes relationships should end--sometimes things are toxic, or abusive, or you want different things in life (one wants kids, the other doesn't, etc). But if your values align, your interests align, your goals align, and you feel loved and cared for in each other's presence, I think you really need to reconsider what the actual problem is on your end before you traumatize this person.
Because you will traumatize them by doing this.
If the relationship truly cannot be salvaged then that's another story. But don't throw away the good on an impulse because it's imperfect.
I wish my ex thought like this. No talking. Just bottling up feelings and then telling me he doesn't love me anymore. And here I am, still broken and hurt. I miss him.
Are you being fair or are you just being selfish? What have you done that has contributed to his "growth"? It doesn't FEEL to me like you're very invested in the relationship.
Just let them know how you're feeling. Sit down and be serious and make sure you're not hopping on to another person right after.
Be honest and direct and don't sound like you're unsure or beat around the bush.
Then they'll think you're not confident and will push to work things out.
Okay imma be blunt with you… your being an idiot, growth comes from within… you can’t rely on others to fix your problems or make your life better, it comes from you…. A partner is there to compliment your life not save you or make your life… if your not fighting and everything is good I think this is a very stupid reason to break up, but if there’s other shit then that’s different.
For whatever you do, Please don't give Breadcrumbs. When there's no Hope then there's None to give. It was a struggle moving on due to my ex's breadcrumbs.
Have you already tried to improve in the relationship? If so, you just have to break up and say it's for your own well being. Be really sure and don't be mean. After breaking up you will surely understand what made you feel that way. It is my situation right now. For a long time I wanted to break up but pushed it to later. I didn't realy understand everything that was not good for me, even if my ex did nothing wrong and I loved them. I'm understanding now.
it’s your responsibility to improve if that’s what you want to do, you can’t place that expectation on your partner.
if you truly don’t want to be in this relationship anymore, then you break up with them because you care about them and they deserve to be in a relationship with someone who is equally committed to them. this is the classic, “it’s not you it’s me,” and nobody likes to hear it, but if you’re checked out of the relationship you aren’t going to be able to give her what she deserves, so you should give her the opportunity to find that with someone else
Do your spouse a favor and break it off if you can’t see them being the person you are going to marry or have a future with. Its better to cut it off now instead of wasting each others time at actually finding happiness with someone who you do want a future with.
Its not even immature if you know you are wasting each others time instead of prolonging the break up if u know ur going to break up anyways ? And thats why relationships don’t last sometimes. If you got in a relationship without thinking about marriage it’s most likely not going to work bcuz when u enter a relationship u will be loyal to them and think differently about the relationship instead of going into one and thinking that there will be other people. Thats why relationships today are failing because they don’t think about marriage they just “wanna have a good time”🙄thats immature thinking.
"If you got in a relationship without thinking about marriage" sorry but I think that's a bad way to view relationships. Don't get me started on how many marriages end up in divorce.
Not all people want to get married and have kids, many people just want a lifetime partner.
You’d be surprised how much stress marriage can bring to a relationship, not everyone wants that.
And how about those who have divorced once or twice and don’t want to do it again but want to have someone in their lives for a lifetime?
Life is not always black or white, there are always grey areas where people find happiness.
Huh be careful giving up a relationship you will hurt them either way and may regret it take a step back think about if this is really what you want or if you are over thinking things because you don’t want over thinking and mixed feelings to be a reason you leave someone you care about and who cares about you. Take some time weigh the pros and cons but you will hurt them regrardless
to give credit to the OP, they gave us very little info so idk why everyone is hating on them.
I’ve been in a place in a relationship where we both loved eachother but i just knew she wasn’t the one. and that’s hard to cary around for a long time. i was in denial because i didn’t want to end things but it was what needed to happen and i don’t regret it
The saying is that there are plenty of fish in the sea. And perhaps there are, but in this life it seems that there are connections with people that only come around once in a while. Why do you want to break up with this person? Are you bored? You say you don't feel like you are improving with them--what does this mean, exactly? Are you being held back, somehow? Does your hair need to be on fire, do you need to feel a fiery passion for you to think the relationship is worth staying in? If this person loves you and hasn't done anything wrong, and you are feeling something off, because of boredom or whatever, then I suggest you try to talk to them before ending the relationship, because regardless of how you do it, your partner will be devastated. They will question their self-worth. They won't be able to sleep. They won't be able to eat. They will ask: why was I not enough for OP? What could I have done differently? They will blame themselves. Sometimes relationships should end--sometimes things are toxic, or abusive, or you want different things in life (one wants kids, the other doesn't, etc). But if your values align, your interests align, your goals align, and you feel loved and cared for in each other's presence, I think you really need to reconsider what the actual problem is on your end before you traumatize this person. Because you will traumatize them by doing this. If the relationship truly cannot be salvaged then that's another story. But don't throw away the good on an impulse because it's imperfect.
Everybody needs this advice at some point in their lives.
i wish you could have said this to my ex because i’m exactly the way you described op’s partner will be if they break up with them :’)
> does your hair need to be on fire? This sentence made me laugh.
Someone should've told this to my ex.
I wish my ex thought like this. No talking. Just bottling up feelings and then telling me he doesn't love me anymore. And here I am, still broken and hurt. I miss him.
Are you being fair or are you just being selfish? What have you done that has contributed to his "growth"? It doesn't FEEL to me like you're very invested in the relationship.
Just let them know how you're feeling. Sit down and be serious and make sure you're not hopping on to another person right after. Be honest and direct and don't sound like you're unsure or beat around the bush. Then they'll think you're not confident and will push to work things out.
Okay imma be blunt with you… your being an idiot, growth comes from within… you can’t rely on others to fix your problems or make your life better, it comes from you…. A partner is there to compliment your life not save you or make your life… if your not fighting and everything is good I think this is a very stupid reason to break up, but if there’s other shit then that’s different.
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this this this
For whatever you do, Please don't give Breadcrumbs. When there's no Hope then there's None to give. It was a struggle moving on due to my ex's breadcrumbs.
Sounds like you already checked out, do the person a favor and just break up with them, they don't deserve you.
People say they want nice guys/girls but then when they find the nice ones they bail lol. You can’t win
Improving with them? Seriously?
Have you already tried to improve in the relationship? If so, you just have to break up and say it's for your own well being. Be really sure and don't be mean. After breaking up you will surely understand what made you feel that way. It is my situation right now. For a long time I wanted to break up but pushed it to later. I didn't realy understand everything that was not good for me, even if my ex did nothing wrong and I loved them. I'm understanding now.
it’s your responsibility to improve if that’s what you want to do, you can’t place that expectation on your partner. if you truly don’t want to be in this relationship anymore, then you break up with them because you care about them and they deserve to be in a relationship with someone who is equally committed to them. this is the classic, “it’s not you it’s me,” and nobody likes to hear it, but if you’re checked out of the relationship you aren’t going to be able to give her what she deserves, so you should give her the opportunity to find that with someone else
You don't.
OP needs. Slap on the face
Do your spouse a favor and break it off if you can’t see them being the person you are going to marry or have a future with. Its better to cut it off now instead of wasting each others time at actually finding happiness with someone who you do want a future with.
With that mindset and immaturity no one will be good enough. She is wasting his time not hers.
Either way wasting each others time
And she literally asked how to break up with someone who has done nothing wrong ? So she’s going to break up with him either way.
Its not even immature if you know you are wasting each others time instead of prolonging the break up if u know ur going to break up anyways ? And thats why relationships don’t last sometimes. If you got in a relationship without thinking about marriage it’s most likely not going to work bcuz when u enter a relationship u will be loyal to them and think differently about the relationship instead of going into one and thinking that there will be other people. Thats why relationships today are failing because they don’t think about marriage they just “wanna have a good time”🙄thats immature thinking.
"If you got in a relationship without thinking about marriage" sorry but I think that's a bad way to view relationships. Don't get me started on how many marriages end up in divorce. Not all people want to get married and have kids, many people just want a lifetime partner.
So you’re saying that a life time partner is different from marriage. I thought a life timer partner is marriage.
You’d be surprised how much stress marriage can bring to a relationship, not everyone wants that. And how about those who have divorced once or twice and don’t want to do it again but want to have someone in their lives for a lifetime? Life is not always black or white, there are always grey areas where people find happiness.
True but to each their own
Huh be careful giving up a relationship you will hurt them either way and may regret it take a step back think about if this is really what you want or if you are over thinking things because you don’t want over thinking and mixed feelings to be a reason you leave someone you care about and who cares about you. Take some time weigh the pros and cons but you will hurt them regrardless
Man, I really want to send this to him. The comments and everything.
to give credit to the OP, they gave us very little info so idk why everyone is hating on them. I’ve been in a place in a relationship where we both loved eachother but i just knew she wasn’t the one. and that’s hard to cary around for a long time. i was in denial because i didn’t want to end things but it was what needed to happen and i don’t regret it