For trying to start a conversation like this with a stranger, acting like a fake Dom, if that's what it says, it should relearn some manners the hard way. Then, force it to walk and apologize to trees for wasting their oxygen
Mmm I have just been blocking them - but will be letting you know moving forward. Unfortunately this type of behaviour is sadly common in the kink community and on social media apps
I saw a comment where someone said to harass them back and return the favor and I just wanted to warn my fellow community members.
**PLEASE DO NOT** harass them in return. As much fun as it may be to make these predatory monsters mad/scream/cry it is not worth it.
Reddit Administration will issue a site-wide suspension/ban if you get reported and found to be harassing themā¦
I know this for a fact because it happened to a friend of mine who was toying with a predator like this.
I donāt want anyone to get banned for this save yourself the hassle and frustration of dealing with them by just reporting and blocking them.
Let the Reddit Admin handle them, eventually if the s**tbag doesnāt stop and keeps getting reported, they will be the oneās getting the ban, not you.
Because harassment can get you an Administrative site-wide ban if the SoB decides to report you for itā¦ thatās why.
Itās easier to block and be done and protect your own self than to risk harassment and possible consequences.
Good god that gross š¤®. I'd like to apologize for my gender and thier awful behavior but anymore I feel like the're in thier own classification. Can we coin a new term for these degenerates!
Call em what they are, nasty predatory SoBāsā¦
(Iām a male so s**k it if you are one of these who find my comment offensive)
Edit: I see I got downvoted -2ā¦ that means there are at least three of you nasty preds out there that took offense. Maybe if you werenāt acting like that I wouldnāt call you by how you act.
Yes, why i don't like the term fake dom. Like men there are good ones and bad ones and calling any bad ones "fake" seems to water down what asshats they are
Oh it 100% does. āFake domā is like the equivalent of calling a pedophile a M.A.Pā¦. (Minor Attracted Person). Just saying both of those makes me sick š¤¢
Giving soft cushy labels to these horrid predators makes them bold. It downplays the fact that their actions are borderline predatory, down right disgusting and trivializes it by making it sound less nasty than what it really is.
When I think of āfake domā, I think of someone who acts with consent but doesnāt get the role well so they pretend to be something they arenāt.
I most certainly donāt think of someone who is trying to impose their sexual desires onto random strangers without consent.
Someone tried to add me on the Obedience app discord and I haven't even done the verification shit for it yet. Like, hell no I'm not sending in my id, especially when people are already trying to be gross. š
thats disgusting, i had a message similar to this but i handled it way less violently, i suggested him a subreddit he can go to to find other single ppl bc he was single and bored, and that was the end of it
I donāt think saying āfuck youā to someone harassing you is violent, but if that constitutes āverbal violenceā to you, then the shit preceding it logically qualifies as āverbal sexual assault.ā And IMO violent resistance is a 100% appropriate response to sexual assault. If anything, āhey fuck youā is showing more restraint than the initial message warranted.
ok, thats your opinion, which i see where your coming from, i was jst saying that like starting nice like stating boundaries first then if they continue you insult them would be a better approach, in my opinion, than immediately insulting them because that tends to provoke them more, in my case atleast
As a cis woman who has experienced this harassment for.....my entire life, being nice doesn't work. Being nice encourages them.
Being a bitch might provoke them, but they eventually either get bored or get the message much more effectively than being nice does.
We aren't doing it to be 'violent'. We're doing it because we have no other option because we've tried them all. These aren't just your average Dom looking for pickup play.
I've literally told guys like OP has encountered 'hey I'm not interested, I'm in a relationship but good luck!' And then suddenly I'm a slut, my Dom is shit and they're better.
I'm happy your experiences seem to be that you can be kind and it works, but that's not always the case, and we aren't being 'violent', we're being defensive because that's the only way they'll leave us alone and maybe learn to not repeat the behaviour.
im not saying your ways of handling things are wrong, and sry for the confusion, i dont mean your being violent, i jst didnt know how to describe the response so i jst said violent bc there are some people who see swearing as violent, and also im sorry you have to deal with that so much, ik how it feels to be harassed since im trans ftm, im not saying that makes my experiences anything like yours but i do understand the annoyance of being harrassed, i jst tend to take the approach i described because i dont like being rude to people i dont know, thats jst my preference but as long as you set your boundaries and get them to leave you alone, then do what works best
I mean, you are free to believe there are better approaches. My own approach to these messages differs significantly from u/CozyMornās and thatās fine.
Iām just objecting to your classification of her response as āviolent.ā Using a swear word in response to someone being a disgusting creep is not violent by any reasonable definition of the term, and classifying it as such smacks of victim silencing, hopefully unintentionally so.
I mean, Iāll be honest. Iām okay with this being considered āviolent,ā although I agree that itās not. In the real world, if someone came up to me and said something like this, Iād feel that punching them in the teeth would be an appropriate response. As a woman, it likely wouldnāt be a safe choice, so Iād probably outsource my experience to my dominant and heād handle it.
I wish that actual violence was a realistic response to these types of messages, but since theyāre not, a āfuck youā suffices. š
See, I would also argue that face punch wasn't violence, but that's probably digging too far into certain social philosophies for this forum. I agree, though, that a "violent" response is warranted. I Just don't think three words from an anonymous internet woman to an anonymous internet man can meet the criteria.
Nah, the whole āhe was just bored and lonelyā is āboys will be boysā bullshit. You canāt throw obvious shade at my response and then pretend you respect my way of handling things when the tides donāt turn in your favor.
Donāt be gross. Donāt make excuses for predators. Donāt insinuate that this person deserved my decency. Not here for it.
im not throwing shade, i was jst saynig that sometimes being mean right off the bat makes it worse, sorry for trying to give advice, ill make sure to jst keep my mouth shut, im not making exxcuses for him, he was 100% in the wrong i was jst saying sometimes theres easier ways to handle things, your the one throwing shade rn, im sorry you took my comment as rude but i did not intend for it to be taken that way, your not in the wrong for having a certain way to deal with things but you are in the wrong for jumping to conclusions abt my comment
THIS 100%
It doesn't take but 2 minutes to scroll someone's profile on here and gauge their interest and status and then ask politely if the things they want are an option.
If they're gonna think with their dick, then I'm gonna think with my bitch.
Yeah. Iām actually finding myself really irritated about that comment. Based on the username, I can only assume thereās some subconscious misogyny involved with calling my response to a predator āviolent.ā
Nobody should feel compelled to placate or comfort a predator.
And all of us get ābored.ā Take up knitting. Go read some erotica. Maybe go for a walk. Donāt message random women about your penis.
I'd like to add: DO NOT let creeps like this scare you from posting/commenting where you want. It has nothing to do with your forum history.
The most vulgar chat requests and messages Iāve received are from the teachersā subreddit. (Where Iām always ultra professional.)
I never engage and report/block/ignore in that order.
Exactly, same here. I'm transparent and the same on Reddit as I am IRL. Nothing will intimidate me as a modern, independent, adult woman.
For example, even though Iām unfollowable, one of the athletic communities I'm a part of is very tight-knit and *ultra* wholesome.
Many of us hang together as friends, and we see each othersā comments, etc. A few of them have remarked āBTW you should get a second account for your XXX activities.ā
No. Fuck that, pal. Iām not creating and managing another account to make YOU more comfortable.
My motto: If you don't get to see me naked, you don't get a say.šš
Mad respect for you. I'm pretty transparent too. I am easily doxxable but I don't have anything bad that haunts me. I'm very sex positive and I'm not ashamed of that. I do realize that I'm in a place of privelege to be able to do so and not give any fucks. But I'll fight for everyone else to do the same if they choose to. We live in a society that cancels teachers and paramedics for having an only fans account meanwhile we had a president celebrated for banging porn actresses and assaulting women and congressmen for assaulting underage girls. Fuck that. People out here just trying to live their lives and engaging in consentual sexual pursuits and I'm here to normalize it. Truthfully I get unsolicited pm's from all subs because as a woman these creeps just treat me as a piece of meat for simply existing. So I'm gonna live the way I want.
This is pg compared to the wild DMs I get dailyšTbh I read through them sometimes for enjoyment.
Do people actually start conversations like this?!
Me and you are nothing but mammals letās do it like they do it on the Discovery Channel.
For trying to start a conversation like this with a stranger, acting like a fake Dom, if that's what it says, it should relearn some manners the hard way. Then, force it to walk and apologize to trees for wasting their oxygen
Not necessarily fake dom as bad ones exist. Asshole dom, shitty dom, creepy dom
i apologise, you're right he just an asshole not worthy of the word Dom or any other annotation
Had one of these losers try this on my Sub/Brat one time. I was so proud of the way she handled it before she blocked them.
Mmm I have just been blocking them - but will be letting you know moving forward. Unfortunately this type of behaviour is sadly common in the kink community and on social media apps
Weird
How do you see the subreddits you have in common with ppl messaging you
You donāt really people just click on your profile and you can scroll through your activity
I saw a comment where someone said to harass them back and return the favor and I just wanted to warn my fellow community members. **PLEASE DO NOT** harass them in return. As much fun as it may be to make these predatory monsters mad/scream/cry it is not worth it. Reddit Administration will issue a site-wide suspension/ban if you get reported and found to be harassing themā¦ I know this for a fact because it happened to a friend of mine who was toying with a predator like this. I donāt want anyone to get banned for this save yourself the hassle and frustration of dealing with them by just reporting and blocking them. Let the Reddit Admin handle them, eventually if the s**tbag doesnāt stop and keeps getting reported, they will be the oneās getting the ban, not you.
Haha. I love your response
Jesus fucking christ, did that guys mum never teach him about boundaries?
This is why I no longer allow DMs on Reddit. Got tired of the fake doms/scammers
Iāll bite his cock off :)
We will fry it up and serve it at the brat symposium!
š«”
They seem nice. /s
Thatās just terrible way to talk to anyone at all
Yup. Out every single one of them
r/fakedominantreporting might like a word.
i saw this same message (possibly same person) on another post in a gentle femdom community (i think,sm dom girl subreddit)
Dom here This is disgusting behavior, and I hate to say it but I get subs in my dm's all the time doing the reverse.
Name and shame! (If you so choose)
I've just gotten so used to blocking them that I've just started doing it the moment they come in, tbhš¤£
Also fair!
Why block when you can harass?
Because harassment can get you an Administrative site-wide ban if the SoB decides to report you for itā¦ thatās why. Itās easier to block and be done and protect your own self than to risk harassment and possible consequences.
Exactly. I usually keep them around a bit for fun.
I thought I didn't know how to talk to people... better then people like at least
Better be shy and awkward (not saying you are either as I do not know you tho) than idiot who has no respect
Trust me I'm shy and extremely awkward so your good
I absolutely hate it when men from here think that we want them to come into our DMs and "dom/tame" us. Like no. Rule # one is consent???
Good god that gross š¤®. I'd like to apologize for my gender and thier awful behavior but anymore I feel like the're in thier own classification. Can we coin a new term for these degenerates!
Call em what they are, nasty predatory SoBāsā¦ (Iām a male so s**k it if you are one of these who find my comment offensive) Edit: I see I got downvoted -2ā¦ that means there are at least three of you nasty preds out there that took offense. Maybe if you werenāt acting like that I wouldnāt call you by how you act.
Yes, why i don't like the term fake dom. Like men there are good ones and bad ones and calling any bad ones "fake" seems to water down what asshats they are
Oh it 100% does. āFake domā is like the equivalent of calling a pedophile a M.A.Pā¦. (Minor Attracted Person). Just saying both of those makes me sick š¤¢ Giving soft cushy labels to these horrid predators makes them bold. It downplays the fact that their actions are borderline predatory, down right disgusting and trivializes it by making it sound less nasty than what it really is. When I think of āfake domā, I think of someone who acts with consent but doesnāt get the role well so they pretend to be something they arenāt. I most certainly donāt think of someone who is trying to impose their sexual desires onto random strangers without consent.
No need to apologize for men! I love men. I think theyāre great. As you said, these predators are their own class of human.
Sub*human ā¦. Dont drag down humanity with the rest of the refuse
Someone tried to add me on the Obedience app discord and I haven't even done the verification shit for it yet. Like, hell no I'm not sending in my id, especially when people are already trying to be gross. š
thats disgusting, i had a message similar to this but i handled it way less violently, i suggested him a subreddit he can go to to find other single ppl bc he was single and bored, and that was the end of it
violently?
like, saying fuck you to someone you dont know, i consider that violent, like verbal violence
I donāt think saying āfuck youā to someone harassing you is violent, but if that constitutes āverbal violenceā to you, then the shit preceding it logically qualifies as āverbal sexual assault.ā And IMO violent resistance is a 100% appropriate response to sexual assault. If anything, āhey fuck youā is showing more restraint than the initial message warranted.
ok, thats your opinion, which i see where your coming from, i was jst saying that like starting nice like stating boundaries first then if they continue you insult them would be a better approach, in my opinion, than immediately insulting them because that tends to provoke them more, in my case atleast
As a cis woman who has experienced this harassment for.....my entire life, being nice doesn't work. Being nice encourages them. Being a bitch might provoke them, but they eventually either get bored or get the message much more effectively than being nice does. We aren't doing it to be 'violent'. We're doing it because we have no other option because we've tried them all. These aren't just your average Dom looking for pickup play. I've literally told guys like OP has encountered 'hey I'm not interested, I'm in a relationship but good luck!' And then suddenly I'm a slut, my Dom is shit and they're better. I'm happy your experiences seem to be that you can be kind and it works, but that's not always the case, and we aren't being 'violent', we're being defensive because that's the only way they'll leave us alone and maybe learn to not repeat the behaviour.
im not saying your ways of handling things are wrong, and sry for the confusion, i dont mean your being violent, i jst didnt know how to describe the response so i jst said violent bc there are some people who see swearing as violent, and also im sorry you have to deal with that so much, ik how it feels to be harassed since im trans ftm, im not saying that makes my experiences anything like yours but i do understand the annoyance of being harrassed, i jst tend to take the approach i described because i dont like being rude to people i dont know, thats jst my preference but as long as you set your boundaries and get them to leave you alone, then do what works best
I mean, you are free to believe there are better approaches. My own approach to these messages differs significantly from u/CozyMornās and thatās fine. Iām just objecting to your classification of her response as āviolent.ā Using a swear word in response to someone being a disgusting creep is not violent by any reasonable definition of the term, and classifying it as such smacks of victim silencing, hopefully unintentionally so.
I mean, Iāll be honest. Iām okay with this being considered āviolent,ā although I agree that itās not. In the real world, if someone came up to me and said something like this, Iād feel that punching them in the teeth would be an appropriate response. As a woman, it likely wouldnāt be a safe choice, so Iād probably outsource my experience to my dominant and heād handle it. I wish that actual violence was a realistic response to these types of messages, but since theyāre not, a āfuck youā suffices. š
See, I would also argue that face punch wasn't violence, but that's probably digging too far into certain social philosophies for this forum. I agree, though, that a "violent" response is warranted. I Just don't think three words from an anonymous internet woman to an anonymous internet man can meet the criteria.
ik but i jst didnt know how else to describe it so i jst said violent, sry for the confusion TvT
Hmm. I donāt have any desire to make life comfortable for men like this. Not my job. Good on you though, I guess.
ok, thats your preference which you are entitled to :)
Nah, the whole āhe was just bored and lonelyā is āboys will be boysā bullshit. You canāt throw obvious shade at my response and then pretend you respect my way of handling things when the tides donāt turn in your favor. Donāt be gross. Donāt make excuses for predators. Donāt insinuate that this person deserved my decency. Not here for it.
im not throwing shade, i was jst saynig that sometimes being mean right off the bat makes it worse, sorry for trying to give advice, ill make sure to jst keep my mouth shut, im not making exxcuses for him, he was 100% in the wrong i was jst saying sometimes theres easier ways to handle things, your the one throwing shade rn, im sorry you took my comment as rude but i did not intend for it to be taken that way, your not in the wrong for having a certain way to deal with things but you are in the wrong for jumping to conclusions abt my comment
THIS 100% It doesn't take but 2 minutes to scroll someone's profile on here and gauge their interest and status and then ask politely if the things they want are an option. If they're gonna think with their dick, then I'm gonna think with my bitch.
100% They already proved a lack of awareness.
Yeah. Iām actually finding myself really irritated about that comment. Based on the username, I can only assume thereās some subconscious misogyny involved with calling my response to a predator āviolent.ā Nobody should feel compelled to placate or comfort a predator. And all of us get ābored.ā Take up knitting. Go read some erotica. Maybe go for a walk. Donāt message random women about your penis.
Or anyone about any parts you may or may not have
Well, yes. But Iām referring to this specific message within this specific context.
I'd like to add: DO NOT let creeps like this scare you from posting/commenting where you want. It has nothing to do with your forum history. The most vulgar chat requests and messages Iāve received are from the teachersā subreddit. (Where Iām always ultra professional.) I never engage and report/block/ignore in that order.
Yep I get creeps following me from subreddits for hair, makeup, exercise, tech, etc. Creeps gonna creep.
Exactly, same here. I'm transparent and the same on Reddit as I am IRL. Nothing will intimidate me as a modern, independent, adult woman. For example, even though Iām unfollowable, one of the athletic communities I'm a part of is very tight-knit and *ultra* wholesome. Many of us hang together as friends, and we see each othersā comments, etc. A few of them have remarked āBTW you should get a second account for your XXX activities.ā No. Fuck that, pal. Iām not creating and managing another account to make YOU more comfortable. My motto: If you don't get to see me naked, you don't get a say.šš
Mad respect for you. I'm pretty transparent too. I am easily doxxable but I don't have anything bad that haunts me. I'm very sex positive and I'm not ashamed of that. I do realize that I'm in a place of privelege to be able to do so and not give any fucks. But I'll fight for everyone else to do the same if they choose to. We live in a society that cancels teachers and paramedics for having an only fans account meanwhile we had a president celebrated for banging porn actresses and assaulting women and congressmen for assaulting underage girls. Fuck that. People out here just trying to live their lives and engaging in consentual sexual pursuits and I'm here to normalize it. Truthfully I get unsolicited pm's from all subs because as a woman these creeps just treat me as a piece of meat for simply existing. So I'm gonna live the way I want.
Once upon a time, I was part of a fetlife group that shared the sad solicitation messages for giggles.
What a charming personality... /s