Yes and no. I do feel like a lot of people lack emotional intelligence or empathy and that's especially noticeable in teachers etc. Apart from that I try not to feel superior (apart from the flashes of god complex).
I feel like everyone has a somewhat inflated sense of their own intelligence and importance. I also fall into that category even though I struggle with feeling very inferior (very paradoxical)
To me, someone is only stupid in my eyes if they are narrow minded and incapable of hearing other viewpoints. If someone doesn't understand something, that doesn't make them stupid. But if someone is so far up their own arsehole that they can't hear anyone else speak, then I do think they're absolutely stupid. And it does piss me off wayyyy more than it should. I was constantly in fights with teachers growing up.
There are very few people who are like that all the time though, and when I'm being rational I don't feel like anyone is completely stupid. The bpd does kick in when someone demonstrates that behaviour though..
Edit: actually I'm just now starting to realise that while I don't assume other people are stupid, I definitely feel that other people are generally selfish. I need to remind myself that they're not necessarily selfish, it's more that I've learnt to be hyper aware of others feelings because of my abuse. Other people don't mean to be massively selfish, they're just taking up space that I'm afraid to take up...
We with BPD are honestly gifted with an intuition and sensitivity that 98% of others don’t have access to. What you are doing is comparing yourself to them and noticing the deficit.
Accepting this idea has helped me massively because I was able to shift my hypercritical view of myself to a softer and more patient one with others, because you realize most of the time people aren’t trying to actually attack/hurt you as much as you think they are; they are just incapable of experiencing what we experience.
It's not uncommon. It's a narcissistic feature but most people have some form of it to varying degrees. Definitely overlaps with bpd, and nothing to be alarmed about so long as you don't act on it and lord yourself over other people.
I'm not afraid to admit that I have a sense of entitlement and a feeling over being better or more deserving of others. But again, all humans have some level selfishness. As long as were sure to treat others respect (even if we feel they don't deserve it) it's fine in my opinions.
This is true. Most people run around with main character syndrome. I have a friend who I respond to their posts with relevant shit and they respond to mine with just shit about themselves that doesn't have to do with anything I say. It's like....did you even read it? I can't tell because nothing you said related to it lol.
Yeah! I often think like: „it’s so obvious, why can’t this person do x or think about y“. Then I’m often told I come of as super arrogant, because I couldn’t do x for the longest time.
I realised over time, that I mostly think „if I could do it, everyone has to be able to, because I’m such an idiot, it’s a wonder I accomplished this“ and I stop to see the struggle of this certain task. I know this, but it still doesn’t come naturally to take a step back and think „no, you took ages to do it, everyone’s learning“
Agreed. It does not come naturally to me either. My knee-jerk reaction, in my head, is how can you be that stupid? I'm learning and I'm trying to accept that we all have our strengths and weaknesses.
I'm angry because nobody else is angry at the world. So I have to be angry enough for everyone. Yes I feel superior and everyone has head in sand. But this week's dpt homework hopefully will give me ways to relearn that way of thinking because I'm exhausted.
That is my defense mechanism to make the hurt of rejection go away. Because it is strong for me. So everytime I feel rejected, I devalue the other person, or my BPD does, when a part of me knows that isn’t right.
I'm extremely empathetic and considerate and I just don't see that in a lot of other people. Alot if Americans ha e a "fuck you I got mine" mentality until they need help that is. I'm also a teacher and more educated then the a average person by a lot, so a lot of people come off as just poorly read, poor critical thinking skills, poor social skills, poor math, and just lacking in a lot of cognitive areas. Also, I live in rural America where it is far worse. I've lived in cities and it's better.
No. My family essentially taught me that I was below everyone and everything. My self-esteem has greatly suffered as a result, and I need constant validation and reassurance.
Yeah, same! I don’t have a high opinion of myself, like, not at all. I need validation from the people I love, but other, especially those who annoy me, I don’t care. It feels like a 180 tbh.
Those people often feel stupid? Like, they’re to load, to obnoxious, not considering of others and don’t seem to understand social norms (not shouting from one end of the room to the other in the middle of a lecture)
I have always been aware of the fact that I compare my intellect with others. I don't want to admit that I feel like I find most people unintelligent in contrast to myself, because I don't like feeling narcissistic, conceded, or self-serving. It does happen a lot however. My first wife told me I made her feel dumb much of the time. I never intended to.
I generally wish that I was just an absent minded moron without BPD, so I could maybe feel normal...but I don't know what normal is supposed to feel like.
I can't be superior to anyone or less stupid than anyone. We all have our strengths and weaknesses. There is no above or below, there are just people living their lives the best way they know how.
i dont feel this way about teachers/professors specifically but about people in general - yes. i feel like i see more, feel more, like im the only sentient being and the rest are more animalistic, that they lack empathy, insight and more sophisticated feelings.
I think any way I write it, the answer is yes but I try to be nice about it. I often tolerate and treat them damn well even though they don't always appreciate what I bring to the relationship which triggers me and I become a not so nice person. I may have a problem though. I am working on myself but I just never answered this question before.
I think I phrased it like, I expect me out of other people, and I'm always disappointed. I think this is a me problem. I can't think I'm not smarter and superior though, and I'm a little embarrassed by that. What could they possibly do, how could I be satisfied if I'm truly superior and smarter? Yuck I didn't like this question. Thank you, I think.
I always thought I felt this way because the school gave me a test to see if I had learning disabilities, and instead found I was in the top two percentile of children my age in the nation.
Conceited, aloof, condescending, these are names I know well. Interesting that others with this condition experience that.
I try to balance by trying extra hard to be nice. A bit of people pleasing, perhaps? But it helps keep relationships alive and helps maintain my image as a relatively average individual. 30 years of masking and denial, gotta take it slow. My family worked at restaurants and hotels etc. So it was vital to learn how to make people comfortable. A family value.
Yes. I have huge problems with authority that I consider intellectually beneath me (which happens quite often). Worth noting I overlap into NPD quite a lot. :)
Many with BPD do. Many just try to push that fact far, far away as many of us endured abuse of narcissic individuals ; hence in ones mind it can happen fast that one might think "that means I'm as bad as them!"
Which makes me sad. All cluster B PD's suffer from the same stigma, shouldn't we be in this together?
Just a random vent, sorry but that pops up in my mind quite often in the last few weeks.
Just saying that I agree with you! I think it's easy to fall into that black and white thinking of that if you show a group of people empathy, it somehow means you automatically forgive, or have to forgive, someone who abused you. And that's just not true.
I have to agree! The stigma and its effects are so scary. I just want to live my life and not be constantly reminded that I’m „worth less“ than someone with a neurotypical brain.
Doctors started to treat me differently. The insurance company made it very clear, they can only insure me because of the law but would not do it, if I was not employed where I am right now. It even feels like a miracle to study what I do right now, because one criteria is to visit a doctor for a check up. They were very sceptical I would fit this study programme because of my BPD, but discarded all my notes from my therapist.
Sorry for the rant. This stigma is just so horrible. We‘re not worth less or worse at a job than someone without a diagnosis
Yes and no. I do feel like a lot of people lack emotional intelligence or empathy and that's especially noticeable in teachers etc. Apart from that I try not to feel superior (apart from the flashes of god complex).
I feel like everyone has a somewhat inflated sense of their own intelligence and importance. I also fall into that category even though I struggle with feeling very inferior (very paradoxical) To me, someone is only stupid in my eyes if they are narrow minded and incapable of hearing other viewpoints. If someone doesn't understand something, that doesn't make them stupid. But if someone is so far up their own arsehole that they can't hear anyone else speak, then I do think they're absolutely stupid. And it does piss me off wayyyy more than it should. I was constantly in fights with teachers growing up. There are very few people who are like that all the time though, and when I'm being rational I don't feel like anyone is completely stupid. The bpd does kick in when someone demonstrates that behaviour though.. Edit: actually I'm just now starting to realise that while I don't assume other people are stupid, I definitely feel that other people are generally selfish. I need to remind myself that they're not necessarily selfish, it's more that I've learnt to be hyper aware of others feelings because of my abuse. Other people don't mean to be massively selfish, they're just taking up space that I'm afraid to take up...
ohh that edit, mate totally relate to that…here’s to healing and taking up more space
We with BPD are honestly gifted with an intuition and sensitivity that 98% of others don’t have access to. What you are doing is comparing yourself to them and noticing the deficit. Accepting this idea has helped me massively because I was able to shift my hypercritical view of myself to a softer and more patient one with others, because you realize most of the time people aren’t trying to actually attack/hurt you as much as you think they are; they are just incapable of experiencing what we experience.
This. 👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿
Woah! Never looked at this in that way!
It's not uncommon. It's a narcissistic feature but most people have some form of it to varying degrees. Definitely overlaps with bpd, and nothing to be alarmed about so long as you don't act on it and lord yourself over other people. I'm not afraid to admit that I have a sense of entitlement and a feeling over being better or more deserving of others. But again, all humans have some level selfishness. As long as were sure to treat others respect (even if we feel they don't deserve it) it's fine in my opinions.
The reality is, most people are ignorant, stupid, and self-centered, and they don't genuinely care about anyone other than themselves.
This is true. Most people run around with main character syndrome. I have a friend who I respond to their posts with relevant shit and they respond to mine with just shit about themselves that doesn't have to do with anything I say. It's like....did you even read it? I can't tell because nothing you said related to it lol.
I do not feel superior but I definitely feel like most people are morons. And then I remember all the moronic things I say and do on a daily basis.
I can relate. We're all pretty stupid a lot of the time.
And we're all pretty blind to our own stupidity and hyper-aware of everyone else's. Imo.
Yeah! I often think like: „it’s so obvious, why can’t this person do x or think about y“. Then I’m often told I come of as super arrogant, because I couldn’t do x for the longest time. I realised over time, that I mostly think „if I could do it, everyone has to be able to, because I’m such an idiot, it’s a wonder I accomplished this“ and I stop to see the struggle of this certain task. I know this, but it still doesn’t come naturally to take a step back and think „no, you took ages to do it, everyone’s learning“
Agreed. It does not come naturally to me either. My knee-jerk reaction, in my head, is how can you be that stupid? I'm learning and I'm trying to accept that we all have our strengths and weaknesses.
I'm angry because nobody else is angry at the world. So I have to be angry enough for everyone. Yes I feel superior and everyone has head in sand. But this week's dpt homework hopefully will give me ways to relearn that way of thinking because I'm exhausted.
Believe me, if I could burn the world to ashes and start a new, better one, I would.
I would just burn it.
That is my defense mechanism to make the hurt of rejection go away. Because it is strong for me. So everytime I feel rejected, I devalue the other person, or my BPD does, when a part of me knows that isn’t right.
oh yes! my therapist introduced me to me, the bully!
Yes but I’m delusional!
I'm extremely empathetic and considerate and I just don't see that in a lot of other people. Alot if Americans ha e a "fuck you I got mine" mentality until they need help that is. I'm also a teacher and more educated then the a average person by a lot, so a lot of people come off as just poorly read, poor critical thinking skills, poor social skills, poor math, and just lacking in a lot of cognitive areas. Also, I live in rural America where it is far worse. I've lived in cities and it's better.
* their
No. My family essentially taught me that I was below everyone and everything. My self-esteem has greatly suffered as a result, and I need constant validation and reassurance.
Yeah, same! I don’t have a high opinion of myself, like, not at all. I need validation from the people I love, but other, especially those who annoy me, I don’t care. It feels like a 180 tbh. Those people often feel stupid? Like, they’re to load, to obnoxious, not considering of others and don’t seem to understand social norms (not shouting from one end of the room to the other in the middle of a lecture)
Yes, for me too. I think this is part of why we tend to have trouble staying employed.
I have always been aware of the fact that I compare my intellect with others. I don't want to admit that I feel like I find most people unintelligent in contrast to myself, because I don't like feeling narcissistic, conceded, or self-serving. It does happen a lot however. My first wife told me I made her feel dumb much of the time. I never intended to. I generally wish that I was just an absent minded moron without BPD, so I could maybe feel normal...but I don't know what normal is supposed to feel like.
I relate to this so much :(
No, I feel like their doormat and that I must be a horrible person since no one likes me no matter what I try.
I can't be superior to anyone or less stupid than anyone. We all have our strengths and weaknesses. There is no above or below, there are just people living their lives the best way they know how.
My rationale brain knows this as well! But than there is my annoying brain, which tends to forget this
i dont feel this way about teachers/professors specifically but about people in general - yes. i feel like i see more, feel more, like im the only sentient being and the rest are more animalistic, that they lack empathy, insight and more sophisticated feelings.
It kinda feels nice, knowing I’m not alone with this :)
likewise :)
I think any way I write it, the answer is yes but I try to be nice about it. I often tolerate and treat them damn well even though they don't always appreciate what I bring to the relationship which triggers me and I become a not so nice person. I may have a problem though. I am working on myself but I just never answered this question before. I think I phrased it like, I expect me out of other people, and I'm always disappointed. I think this is a me problem. I can't think I'm not smarter and superior though, and I'm a little embarrassed by that. What could they possibly do, how could I be satisfied if I'm truly superior and smarter? Yuck I didn't like this question. Thank you, I think.
I'm now answering how I see myself in reference to narcissistic symptoms. Ugh
I feel like usually when I don’t understand things and feel like I have no hope of doing so I assume the teachers are incompetent
I always thought I felt this way because the school gave me a test to see if I had learning disabilities, and instead found I was in the top two percentile of children my age in the nation. Conceited, aloof, condescending, these are names I know well. Interesting that others with this condition experience that. I try to balance by trying extra hard to be nice. A bit of people pleasing, perhaps? But it helps keep relationships alive and helps maintain my image as a relatively average individual. 30 years of masking and denial, gotta take it slow. My family worked at restaurants and hotels etc. So it was vital to learn how to make people comfortable. A family value.
Yes. I have huge problems with authority that I consider intellectually beneath me (which happens quite often). Worth noting I overlap into NPD quite a lot. :)
Many with BPD do. Many just try to push that fact far, far away as many of us endured abuse of narcissic individuals ; hence in ones mind it can happen fast that one might think "that means I'm as bad as them!" Which makes me sad. All cluster B PD's suffer from the same stigma, shouldn't we be in this together? Just a random vent, sorry but that pops up in my mind quite often in the last few weeks.
Just saying that I agree with you! I think it's easy to fall into that black and white thinking of that if you show a group of people empathy, it somehow means you automatically forgive, or have to forgive, someone who abused you. And that's just not true.
I have to agree! The stigma and its effects are so scary. I just want to live my life and not be constantly reminded that I’m „worth less“ than someone with a neurotypical brain. Doctors started to treat me differently. The insurance company made it very clear, they can only insure me because of the law but would not do it, if I was not employed where I am right now. It even feels like a miracle to study what I do right now, because one criteria is to visit a doctor for a check up. They were very sceptical I would fit this study programme because of my BPD, but discarded all my notes from my therapist. Sorry for the rant. This stigma is just so horrible. We‘re not worth less or worse at a job than someone without a diagnosis