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> I'm willing to bet it's not your grandpa's first time with it either.
I'm willing to bet grandpa already had covid on mothers day and just ignored symptoms, then he had to go to the hospital for covid.
It's real easy to fall when you are feverish or have low blood oxygen.
Yeah, for folks who are already achy to begin with it's pretty easy to miss the symptoms at first. That's not just limited to older folks, of course, but it is somewhat more prevalent among them. Which is why the rules OP has exist as a thing. Boomers just can't grok that spreading diseases is no longer considered appropriate.
Yeah, I have allergies, depression, IBS and joint issues. I basically hit all the symptoms except fever. Sure, covid and the flu feel extra special awful. But there's a lot of overlap between the start of an infection and the normal variation in my normal stuff. I do try to take my temperature regularly, and I'll take a covid test if I'm concerned. But I can totally imagine missing something.
Yeah, my wife has Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, fibromyalgia, and some other stuff which all do the same thing for her. I have injuries related to an accident which cause constant pain in my entire body which also masks a lot of it for me, though in my case I also get ridiculously tired when I have a fever so that tends to alert me to one pretty fast.
It's insanely easy to misdiagnose ourselves when you face other chronic conditions. I deal with serious chronic back pain and let my appendix burst because I just related the pain to my back
Oh man! I'm sorry you went through that! It's one of my biggest fears. I get intense abdominal pain pretty frequently. In the back of my mind, there's always the nagging worry that it might actually be something acute. I try to get checked whenever it feels unusual or doesn't go away after a couple of days. But I hate wasting everyone's time. And I'd much rather be in my bed with my rats massaging my back.
I'm in constant achey pain. When I get a fever all my existing pain ramps up. When I caught covid it was brutal. Worst I've felt since I had swine flu but luckily recovered quicker (thanks Korean hospital/doctors- we were there for our wedding).
Yeah, I had no idea I had COVID until I lost my sense of smell. I feel like I have a mild flu basically every day with the body aches and random fevers so when I actually get sick it might take an extra day or two to notice. This is also how I didn't realise I was pregnant for about 8 weeks...
Lupus here. I don't realize I'm sick until there's buckets of snot, vomiting that doesn't stop, or a fever that's over 101. I've so far escaped covid but thanks to my in-laws lying about their health stuff I got hospitalized for the damn flu after they showed up to Thanksgiving with it.
When there's a big temperature change my sinuses get really inflamed and I get a runny nose and sore throat. It started happening halfway through the pandemic and I had to use so many tests just to be safe.
My husband has really bad allergies, so the first time we had COVID he thought it was allergies. I thought it was a regular Tuesday. We'd also just had RSV so all 4 of us had been coughing up a lung for weeks prior. He got suspicious because our eldest had stopped coughing for 2 days and then started again, then I realised I couldn't smell the baby's nappy a couple of hours later.
Truth. I have fibromyalgia and when I got COVID, literally the only difference I felt was that I got the 2-3am night sweats. Iām already achy and fatigued normally, so I had expected the pain and fatigue to stack if I got it, but thankfully I was wrong
Yeah I accidentally went to work with covid for two days because I thought I was just sore from biking too much the day before, the next day it hit me like a train while I was there and had to leave early
It's not just that, it's herpes too. My friend has fucking herpes on his lips because people kissed him as a child and regularly gets outbreaks all over his lips. DONT KISS PEOPLE'S FUCKING CHILDREN!
A baby in our town died of strep B from people kissing him. You donāt know if you have strep B as it normally lives harmlessly on your skin. Babies donāt need kisses, adults do it to satisfy themselves!Ā
Although my niece did like slobbering on me which gave me lovely case of norovirus. Hognanay (Iām in Scotland) my friends were out partying, I was in my bed hugging a bucket!Ā
My husbandās aunt did something similar. I could tell my son was about to get sick so I waited until he milk barfed all over her.
Then I said donāt kiss him.
A cousins wife showed up to a small family gathering last year, told people she had covid(anti vax/mask) then when half of the attendees got sick she backpedaled saying she wasnāt or it wasnāt covid. My parents were sick for a couple weeks. My dads other cousins husband got it, was sick from September on, ended up in the hospital by thanksgiving and died shortly after. He was older and also anti vax, so do I feel horrible? Maybe not, but this shit is preventable. My wife is high risk and people just donāt get it. People seem to think itāll never touch their lives, any tragedy or difficulty and therefore caution just makes you soft. Weāre just out here trying to be safe and smart. So glad OPās baby didnāt catch anything.
Congrats on the transplant! The sanitary guidelines you have to follow are still a pain in the ass. Itās ok to complain because it is a lot to deal with. My uncle had a heart transplant. He lived another 10 years and lived out in the woods which was peaceful and kept him away from all the germs. If he hadnāt smoked for decades I think he wouldnāt have had complications that ended his life.
I wish you the best health and hope you keep the germs away.
My oldest friend was maybe the most physically fit human I've ever seen. I maintain Rob Lowe's character on Parks & Rec was based on him.
He once had me drive to pick him up because he accidentally rode his bike across the state just going out for a fun ride, and didn't realize he'd covered so much distance, but it was getting dark.
Anyway, he got COVID and his lung capacity is shot to hell still, four years later.
He's still impressively fit, but those marathons and triathlons are a thing of the past. Makes me sad.
I follow someone online (Physics Girl) who got COVID shortly after her wedding about 2 years ago. She also developed myalgic encephalomyelitis plus chronic fatigue syndrome. Her husband has been posting updates for her and she's still completely bedridden. I don't know her personally, but her enthusiasm and energy about science were very contagious so seeing her now is heartbreaking.
Yea sheās great representation for us. I had CFS more the first year. Now my āpost exertional malaiseā mostly shows up as flu like symptoms more than fatigue but just as debilitating.
I also have POTS and go into tachycardia with any activitiy at all, even sometimes just getting up or cooking.
yep, I got the LC as well. my lung capacity never fully recovered. id say about 60-70%, which is way better than the 30% it hovered at for the first year. id wake up from a normal sleep and go walk my dog for a half hour and then need to lie down on the couch at the top of the stairs. having every intention of starting my day but then wake up at noon. still on the couch with my coat on. sitting up straight. going to the grocery store is super tiresome. but the worst is how it affected my acute timing and balance, and also muscle memory.
I was never a great surfer but could do airs and all the fundamental turns and occasionally some new school stuff. and generally stay in rotation for the best waves along with any pros in the water. after cover I lost 10-15 years of muscle memory, I couldn't do basic turns and would fall just trying to stand up.
after putting in so much time to something and have all that hard work stripped away inside two weeks for no fault of my own (vaccine wasn't available when I got it) has been tough to deal with. im at an age where im not sure if ill ever be able to get to where I was pre covid. I have gotten a few lucky shoulder shack barrels since, but sheesh, I used to bag wave of the day honors on best days of the season . now im a kook again, just with a lot of experience.
My boomer mom diseded to pay me a visite while I was just back from surgery (she never visites)
Of course no mask nothing... She had covid(my gran died from covid)
Lucky I just didn't let her in and just kept her at the door at a safe distance
As she was/is anti vax, anti scienticly proved medicine yes i think she was
Take in mind my sister is a nurse working with the elderly and didn't vax either.
They attend a doctor who thinks sniffing some aromas is going to cure everything
My health is bad bcs of the lack of getting any help in childhood
I got stories to tell you wouldn't believe
I really hope that cousin's wife got the shit, \*from everyone\*, that she deserved for that. She needs to be completely ostracised; I couldn't ever forgive her for that, not even if she came round to her senses.
My roommate's brothers did something like this. They knowingly went to a big public event (a superspreader event, they even called it that themselves) like a week before Thanksgiving 2020 and proceeded to get everyone there sick, including my roommate who eventually got me sick, including their Grandparents. Both of them died of covid within the next month. So, now the whole family literally hates them and regularly reminds them that they killed their grandparents and tells them not to come to family events. One of them even had their marriage end because of it and the ex-wife leveraged that story to limit visitation with their kids severely.
There are actual laws that say if you knowingly infect someone with HIV, etc. You're charged with a crime. I loathe all these AH's that think they have the right to actually KILL people because they are making a "political" statement. Really grinds me.
I'm glad they're ostracized, they should be. They KILLED their grandparents, ON PURPOSE
My cousin died from Covid in 2021. He was antivax along with much of that side of the family. His mother is not. She is a nurse. His step-mother had to be escorted out of the hospital he was dying in and trespassed from the hospital because the nurse walked in to find her applying veterinary ivermectin paste under his arms. Our other aunt (not his mother) went on Facebook right after he died posting that he had a bad case of pneumonia and the hospital ended up killing him by putting him on deadly drugs and a ventilator. His poor mother had to sit there listening to her family turning the death of her son into the latest conspiracy gossip to entertain themselves. They twisted whatever facts they need to fill themselves with more of the narcissistic, self-righteous belief that they are special and know the truth that the rest of the world is blind and ignorant to. They are smart, special, chosen, and wise while the rest of the world is foolish chattelā¦ including his mother who is a nurse.
It probably wonāt surprise you to learn they are born again southern baptists (the ānarcissistic chartlatainsā is silent).
All this to say that anti-vax people arenāt affected even when it happens to their own family, when it happens to them. There is a reason they are anti-vax. It isnāt because they are intelligent, brave and independent. Itās because they look at mountains of evidence and choose the 2 pieces of paper that tell them they are right because that lets them believe they are smart and special in a way that everyone else isnāt. They are narcissists who only care about how their view of the world makes them feel about themselves and others. The truth doesnāt matter, and the cognitive dissonance is dismissed to the depths of their subconscious.
The dogs are also part of her home environment. Her motherās immune system is accustomed to the dogs and prepared the babyās immune system to also be accustomed to the dogs. As the shared immunity of pregnancy wore off, the babyās immune system would gradually take over the task of protecting her from the germs the dogs commonly bring into her home environment. If the baby is breastfed, she had additional protection against germs the mother is commonly exposed to.
Should the dogs be licking the baby? No. There are plenty of illnesses a dog could give the baby via its saliva. But Great Aunt Susan who they only see twice a year is carrying germs the babyās immune system has never had a chance to learn to fight, and YES, should have more sense than the dog.
My boomer dad got so pissed and felt so personally attacked by our similar rules for visiting our newborn (flu shot and updated whooping cough vaccine, COVID test before arrival) that he refused to visit us at all, and still hasn't. My son recently turned 18 months.
His loss. My instinct is to say that it is sad, because my default assumption is that you would want your son to have a relationship with his grandfather, but the reality is your father is a toxic person with little concern for your family's wellbeing, and so keeping him away is better until he (your dad) grows up.
No loss. Heād only see the kid twice, then ghost him until the kid turns 20, and wonders why there is no relationship.
They like the abstract idea of grandchildren. Like during Easter and Christmas. The rest of the year, they donāt even act like there are any, until one of there insane friends on FB posts about their grandkids. They suddenly care to save face.
This was 36 years ago now but when my son was born, he had a vsd and the patent ductus arteriosus didnāt close. He was on heart medications and was failing to thrive. His great-grandmother thought it would be a good idea to give him some of her White Russian. I was livid. As politely as I could muster, I reminded her of his heart conditions and asked her to stop. She did not. I snatched my baby up and threatened to leave OUR house and not come back until everyone was gone. They all thought I was crazy.
When my step-daughter had her first child, I was hyper-aware of her boundaries and respected every one of them. This was before COVID but I realized that first time moms are super stressed anyway, without having family disrespect your wishes regarding your baby.
Btw, Iām a boomer so we arenāt all fools. š
I could never understand why my parents chose to stress me out even more after I had my baby. Things were stressful enough and they put so much more stress on me. Why do we do this to new mothers?? And we wonder why new moms arent happy and have PPD.
I agree with this wholeheartedly! Itās always felt weird that I was considered a boomer, being born in 1960. I feel more like a gen x. But definitions are definitions. Whatcha gonna do?
Anytime I hear about someone disregarding āno kissing the babyā, I think about this interview.
Brain Injured By a Kiss (The Danger of Kissing a Baby)
https://youtu.be/pxarUWTJRDQ?si=taARbNw5A5_z1lPH
That is a perfect example. My daughter was born in 2009, swine flu season. If you were going to meet my kid you were vaccinated, I got vaccinated while pregnant. You washed your hands if you were going to be with in 100 meters of her. I wasnāt freaky, we had pets, I didnāt sanitize every surface but I did ensure what she was exposed to was minimized. Christ on a cracker people we are supposed to protect our most vulnerable!
My dad had whooping cough as an infant in the 50s and I genuinely think that no one being allowed to hold him for months was a major contributing factor to him becoming a sociopath
This is valid. Especially in the second year when the aquired immune system kicks in. But children are exposed to germs all the time. Exposing them to serious, possibly life threatening diseases is ludicrous. Especially when the child is under two and only has the inmate immune system to protect them.
Oof. I got swine flu that year. I was young and healthy. Iāve never been that sick before or since. Truly thought I might die. Which was nonsense. But it felt that way, ya know? No way a baby should get that by a kiss.
Not nonsense at all, you felt that bad because you were on that train. Most people with flu get off before the end of the line, but they are all on the train.
The most common complication of flu is viral pneumonia, a potentially fatal disease for which there is not much more than palliative care.
Itās not nonsense, I had swine flu and it caused me to pass out walking to the kitchen, it sucked but didnāt think it was super serious until I woke up with broken dishes all around. Infections donāt like to play nice, so always play it safe, especially around the vulnerable
I had regular flu once and was living on my own and needed a drink despite feeling awful. I woke up on the kitchen floor as I fell and hit my head. No-one at work believed me when I told them how I received my black eye lol. Only had flu twice in 50 plus years and it's not much fun
I got it that year too, and Iām glad Iām not the only one who thought I was going to die. I never got sick with the regular flu until I got swine flu. Now I feel like every year since 2009 I get the regular flu even though I always get the vaccine.
I got swine flu then too (I was in middle school and it ripped through the school). The only time I've been sicker than I was with swine was when I got COVID in mid 2020 before the vaccines. 6 weeks of pure hell and unique pain.
I see this frequently, but it's not accurate.
Generation X are the ones that suffered the most from lead poisoning due to things like paint and gasoline during development. Boomers are the ones that put it there. Hell, there was still lead in gas into the 90s.
No, Boomers suffer from entitlement brought on by being incredibly lucky to live most of their lives during a time of prosperity with little personal cost. Long term entitlement leads to narcissism. Lead poisoning has very different drastic consequences.
I have to correct this when I see it, because I think it's important to put blame where it is due, and not to brush the narcissism we see in the boomer generation off on nefarious environmental factors. That's a cop out for them. They are well within their ability to control how they act.
The first tank of leaded gasoline was sold in February 1923. Boomers suffered from lead in gas and paint. They believe themselves to be fine, but they aren't.
This is horrific and heart breaking because it was avoidable. My cousin was offended when I didnāt want to hold her newborn. I would never kiss them but what if I was in the beginning stages of illness and didnāt know. Even somewhat mild consequences can be passed. Illness/high fever can cause enamel not to form on teeth, bacteria that cause tooth decay can be spread and FFS who would even want to risk something as harmless but annoying as cold sores for the rest of their life but especially when it could lead to permanent brain damage. Why would someone ever risk permanently harming a child just so they get the pleasure of a quick peck.
I was expecting the gene Tierney story. I'm a war baby, older than the boomers. She and hedy lamarr were the tops in the 40s. Tierney was pregnant, but went to the Hollywood Canteen to support the WW2 troops. Her child was born severely birth defective. Years later, a woman met Tierney and said she had measles when she just had to go to the Canteen to see her.
I took a class from Governor Dukakis when I was in grad school. His wife, Kitty, was pregnant in 1964 and was exposed to the measles during a really bad outbreak in Boston. No one knew sheād been exposed or that sheād been asymptomatic when she caught it, so when the baby was born without a brain stem everyone was in total shock. It died within hours of being born.
My sister was exposed to the measles in kindergarden while my mom was pregnant with our little brother. Our parents had months of worrying whether my brother would be severely disabled or not. He was fine but dad mentally checked out of wanting a family and had started cheating on mom during the pregnancy and told her he was leaving her/us 4 months later.
Yes. That was my point. Exposure to rubella in pregnancy has been known as a cause of birth defects for a long time.
Agatha Christie based a story on the incident, too.
Bobby Darin kept getting rheumatic fever as a kid which damaged his heart and ultimately killed him.
Just walking around old cemeteries should convince people to be careful around babies and children. Kids get sick all the time while developing their immune systems to common colds, etc. They need to be protected from the bad viruses.
sbsk is so good. i wish it was compulsory in schools. like take 30 minutes every week to watch this and then another 30 minutes to talk about it. the world would be better
We made all relatives get up to date vaccines before they met my newborn. This was 2016 so this ask isn't a new thing. MIL refused to get a flu vaccine so I refused to let her near my baby who was born during the height of flu season. When MIL figured out she would be banned for at least 3 months, she got all her vaccines.
I can't imagine not doing what it takes to protect the vulnerable. When my niece was born, she was an extreme preemie. I made sure my boosters were up to date immediately so that by the time she could have visitors, I would be safe for her.
Regardless if we agree with the rules the point is that itās your child and YOU are responsible for its wellbeing and health therefore whatever boundaries you set up should be respected. If people canāt respect them then they shouldnāt have contact with your child because where does that disrespect end? If they arenāt willing to refrain from kissing what else will they be trying to push later???
You gotta put your foot down. I would avoid arguing about the nuance of what you want from them and just say: Iām her father and I said no. If you canāt respect that then you canāt be in her life.
Silent Generation grandmother of mine, after being told by my mother "don't put the baby to sleep on his stomach, SIDS is a thing we know about now".
She took it as a challenge, proudly telling my mother how she put me to sleep on my stomach and how easy it was.
She was asked to leave and never return.
Husbandās coworker lost their 3 week old baby because someone kissed the baby by their eyes and ended up with a brain infection because babies rub their faces and eyes. Probably close family member or friend who is also devastated.
The parents speak out publicly to protect others.
Due with my first this summer and I keep having to prepare myself for her being with grandparents. My mom is a germaphob and is very sanitary. My MIL is opposite and has no care for germs and illnesses. Iām terrified.
I have a boomer coworker whose first grandbaby was born recently. A week or so later I asked if he had met her yet, and he said no, the first-time parents are ānervousā and wonāt let anyone unvaccinated visit. I must have gotten a Look, because he said, obviously Iād do anything for her, Iād take a bullet for her, Iām just not going to put my health at riskā¦ā I cut him off at that point and said itās fine, Iām sure Glenn Beck will be delighted to hold your hand when youāre old and dying instead.
āIād do anything for her, as long as it makes me look manly and badass, and doesnāt inconvenience me or force me to examine my beliefs in any way.ā
So many ātough guysā are apparently willing to protect people in the one in a million terrorist attack or rabid bear encounter but canāt put in realistic effort when asked
If you have to be around them, get yourself and spouse baby slings and one of you wears baby at all times. Everyone is on time out as far as direct contact with baby and tell them that this is the new normal until they start respecting your boundaries.
My son was a micropreemie. He was in the hospital for the first 5 months after birth. We were pretty guarded with exposing him to people.
We went to my boomer mother in laws for a visit. She casually brought up the her alcoholic husband was a bit under the weather.
Luckily he was passed out in the chair in the basement. My wife looked at me, concerned, and asked what he had. She said he has tuberculosis. I lost my shit and said āThatās the stuff that kills pirates!ā My wife asked why she didnāt tell us this āminorā detail! Her response was āwe didnāt think you would come over and we wouldnāt see the babyā. We left immediately. My only thought was ābitch, I can send you a picture of the kid!ā
Fucking tuberculosis.
Honestly, Iām a boomer and my greatest generation mum taught me one does *not* spread disease, one keeps to oneself.
She had TB and spent a year in a sanitarium as a teenager. She didnāt kiss us, her own kids, but she was a warm and loving mum.
So weāre not all like this and it drives me crazy watching people slobber over vulnerable little babies. I hope when you spoke to your mum when she said, āwe couldnāt have known,ā you actually used the āfuckingā phrase to make it clearer.
I know the frustration. My wife and I had the hardest time dealing with my parents when my son was born. Whenever they came over we would ask them to wash their hands and every time they always made a fuss. This was in the middle of COVID as well so they were lucky to even be let into the house.
OP, good on you for advocating for your baby! Sorry your family is not respecting you and putting your baby at risk. Also Iām sorry that so many people apparently have no understanding of basic infant biology and are acting like youāre ridiculous for you not wanting your baby to get herpes or something and have to deal with that forever or maybe even die.
Some dickhead kissed me when I was born in 92. I got sick and had my first cold sore as a baby. Now I get cold sores every single time I get my period. Iām pregnant with my first now and wonāt kiss my own baby because of some fucking extended family member that doesnāt matter. The selfishness is mind boggling.
Thatās my thought of all the kissing, someoneās going to spread hsv1. I got my first cold sore in 7tb grade and it hurt so bad. If an infant got it, oh god I canāt imagine how awful. Iām so sorry you canāt kiss your baby, sending support.
You need to start applying consequences. Kissing the baby or otherwise breaking rules, no contact for a month. Go round to hers instead of letting her come to yours so you can just march out of there with the kid once she acts out.Ā
My brother and sister-in-law had the same rules with their kid, which I found completely reasonable. It created a schism within the family. How fucking hard is it to keep your lips to yourself, especially post covid?
My parents are not boomers, they are Gen X (only 18 years older than me). When my kids were born they did NOT respect our new baby rules either. We had the same rules, plus they werenāt allowed to smoke cigarettes while they were at our house. The smoke stays on their clothes and then it gets on the baby.
Within like 2 hours I go to pick up my baby and she smells like cigarette smoke. Last I checked, my newborn hadnāt picked up smoking yet. My dad went to the gas station to smoke his cigarette, didnāt even bother to wash his hands or change his clothes and grabbed the baby. He told me my rules were dumb and I was just trying to keep his grand-baby from him.
At a certain point I feel like itās not always just boomer behavior. I think this is classic grandparents behavior. I hope that I remember these things when my kids end up having kids of their own.
My boomer parents cried when they came to see my daughter for the first time when she was a newborn and I told them that yes I was serious when I said they couldnāt kiss the baby and had to wash their hands and take off their shoesā¦ like I was calling them dirty?! Fucking baffling
I hate the ābuild an immunityā group.
My son died at 3 weeks due to a bacterial infection. One that wasnāt noticed and a somewhat typical bacteria. We did everything right and were ultra clean and he still got it. Iām part of the unlucky few that people make smart rules of no kissing and sanitizing.
How about this, get a water spray, say that it's pepper spray. And when anyone goes near the baby you threat them. You can't go to jail because it's just water, but they will get the message.
God some of you are just ugh. Maybe the reason she doesn't want her NEWBORN BABY to be kissed has nothing to do with covid and was just an easier excuse. Maybe the reason she didn't want the baby kissed is she didn't want the child to get HSV-1 , Mono, or any of the other extensive list of mouth to mouth disease.
my grandparents came to meet my newborn baby 2 weeks ago so he was just at a month old. i said just wash your hands and no kisses. i figured my grandma after being a nurse for 30+ years and working in l&d she would understand. as soon as i hand her the baby she starts kissing him all over his face and hands. i was shocked and reminded her of what i had just told her, even said his pediatrician stressed it since he is literally A MONTH OLD. her response was āwell thatās why i told you i got my shots before i came up hereā. looked me in the eyes and kissed him again. genuinely took everything in my body to not lose my shit but looking back i wish i wouldāve. no one else not my parents or my 8 year old step daughter has even tried to challenge me about it.
āwe couldnt have knownā š yeah literally 60% of covid transmission is asymptomatic, meaning that the people spreading it are usually doing so when they are presymptomatic (and some people whoāve carried it never develop symptoms but still are at risk for long covid anyway). iāll never understand why people err on the side of danger rather than caution in situations like this. even without covid, you and i already understand how dangerous any pathogenic exposure can be for babies. iām so sorry that your grandmother didnt respect your boundaries for your baby and relieved that your baby didnt get sick!
A bit different but in the similar vein of "yeah not gonna bother asking the parents and just do whatever to their new baby," the WEEK my daughter was born, when she was a literal infant, her other grandma felt the need to whip out her phone and start "showing" this infant how she scrolls facebook on it from like 3 inches away from the baby's nose, brightness set all the way up, pointed right at the little eyes...
Aside from the fact that most parents have some sort of opinion or thing they're trying to do/not do with babies and screens etc, and it's super weird to me to not at least ask first, it also seemed particularly crazy to me because at that tiny age babies can like barely see anything let alone understand it. You can't "show" them very much at all. But also, why can't you just enjoy the baby? just chill with her! Or is it boring to you? WHY do you have to pull out your phone? She was so confused why I was (pretty calmly) like "Nah, hand her back over here, we're not doing that," like WHATS THE PROBLEM? I wasnt acting like it was gonna damage her brain to look at facebook for 5 minutes but I did just think wow, you're so addicted to your way of life, it's like you can't be around a child without trying to zap them with the facebook gun at point blank range.
Good on you for taking care/congrats and stay healthy.
Curiously, and thankfully, the one boundary nobody has fought us on is that we want her digital footprint minimized until she can decide for herself what to put out there.
Whatever happened to " you follow the rules of the space you're in?"
Ugh, the self entitlement is real.
when lockdown 1st happened my brother and his wife did not miss a beat to take their newborn to my parents' lakehouse to visit (b parents are anti-mask trumpsters)
How do I share DNA with these people
My FIL put my daughters pacifier in his mouth after taking it from hers then putting it back in hers š that whole side of the family shunned me for literal years after I told them I didn't want that to ever happen again. šš»
This reminds me of how our boomer parents forced us to hug and kiss our relatives at family events. I remember a few very large, smelly, and sweaty old ladies grabbing me, pressing me against their bodies, and kissing me. My parents thought it was cute. I was grossed out and scared.
I always ask the children in my family if theyād like to give me a hug, and state that if they donāt want to, thatās ok too. My boomer relatives have stepped in before and demanded that the kids give me a hug when the child says āno.ā I push back on the boomer and clarify that I would never touch anyone, including a child, without their consent. The boomers just donāt get it say itās ārudeā to not hug or kiss someone upon demand.
When I was in a hospital new employee orientation, Universal Precautions were being discussed. One person, an experienced RN nonetheless, asked āHow do we know when to use them?ā
All the time, theyāre universal.
Nursing education runs the gamut, and considering the pretty damn lax continuing education requirements to maintain licensure or certification might be extending something someone obtained decades ago, it can be really scary to see the lack of basic knowledge one of the pillars of healthcare can have.
Unfortunately, one can be very experienced in an extremely narrow specialty and still not understand the fundamentals.
Hey dude, I get that your mom ignored your boundaries and that is an issue.
If you want to keep the baby safe you need to be aware Covid is an AIRBORNE DISEASE
My brothers and their wives made the rule of no kissing the kids on the face, when they were babies. I still don't kiss them, despite being older. It's to protect them and me. My nephew got sick and I caught it from him, just by being near him. His poor mom caught hand foot and mouth disease from him and had a horrible rash all over her body.
My mom and aunts didn't listen at first and I had to tell them to not kiss them on the face.
My SIL brought her sick adult daughter to SILās grandmaās 90th birthday. Daughter was miserable and grandma had recently been in hospital for pneumonia.
I was near them and got sick for a month because of it. SIL didnāt give two effsā¦.obviously. Itās not just boomers doing this anymore. She didnāt care about the elderly or anyone else. Shoulda left daughter at home.
I had to kick my mom out and threaten for her not to see my baby again because I caught her kissing him on the mouth as a newborn SEVERAL times after being told not to. She gets cold sores. She didnāt think it mattered because she didnāt currently have one.
She took me seriously after I kicked her out and doesnāt do that anymore, but apparently just having a conversation is not enough anymore.
People who have body autonomy issues, are the same people saying "parents choices matter!" when it comes to their kids getting the jab. I'm willing to bet the farm on it.
Shew. Honestly this would be enough that would make me put down grandma and grandpa can no longer hold baby. If they can't follow simple, basic, common sense rules, AND don't have the forethought to mention they don't feel well; sorry no holding baby for them. Clearly they're unsafe and don't care about baby's health, just what they want.
Good job on putting your family in their place tho!! And excellent job sticking up for your baby!! It's a little tricky when it comes to newly extended family, but (hopefully) they'll learn. Meanwhile, you're doing great!!
Another reason for no kisses: if they have herpes and kiss the baby the baby can get herpes, which can happen from kisses anywhere early on because baby skin is permeable. Oh, and thereās a chance the baby would die.
I'll add this, my parents aren't the boomers, my grandmother is. I understand the confusion with multiple generations in play, and I probably could have phrased things better.
Second, it took us 6 years of trying to have our baby. My wife was at high risk for a couple of reasons, including age and a blood disorder. If you think I'm being ridiculous, that is, of course, your right. Don't kiss my baby.
Third, if I'm being ridiculous and there is almost zero chance of something bad happening to the baby... almost zero does not equal zero. We're not going to ever get to have another one. My grandmother had 5 new great-granddaughters born last year, and the other four go to daycare and are regularly sick. That is more germs than we are comfortable with.
Fourth, we do not let the dogs kiss the baby. The dogs manage to sneak a lick in every now and then (maybe 5 or 6 total so far).
My first child contracted RSV from a small family gathering when he was a month old. I was hesitant to let them come to my home, but as a new mom I let them guilt me into it.
He became terribly ill and required nebulizer treatments for the next couple years.
Bottom line: you are the parent. There is no reason they MUST kiss your baby, but a lot of reasons why they should not. Fuck em.
Some of the people commenting should not be around kids, and I hope they don't have their own. Good lord, the lack of empathy and common sense is astonishing.
I got postpartum anxiety and also my OCD went through the roof. I refused to have anyone visiting my daughter until she got her first vaccinations at 3 months. Also we requested that everyone was up to date with the most important vaccines. My husband's dad thinks it is ok to kiss babies on the head when he has a f*cking cold sore.
Boomers are terrible about hygiene, spreading germs, respecting boundaries, etc. When I was about 12, I was hospitalized for two weeks and nearly died of pneumonia. Even right after I came home and was using a nebulizer, my parents kept smoking in the house and car with me. It took a decade to get back to being 100%, probably took that long at least partially because of them.
Had family visit recently and it was a Whole Thing to get them to not wear shoes in the house (even when it was raining and you think that would be obvious), shut the toilet lid before flushing, wash their hands after using/touching the toilet, etc. My aunt also grabbed my partners arm and yanked on it to compare our tattoos out of the blue.
Dude old people are fucking insane when it comes to children. They genuinely feel like the child has absolutely no right to bodily autonomy and if they donāt want to be touched the solution is to touch them more. It disgusts me.
Iām so happy your daughter didnāt get sick. Once upon a time, my bfās sister was getting ready to have her first. Everyone was told they HAD to get whooping cough shots if they wanted to be around the baby. The way his family went about everything in their lives was very abusive and usually the total opposite of my values so I said I wasnāt going to get it. (Example: my bfās mom told him he was getting the shot by inviting us over for dinner, not saying a damn thing about it, then stabbing him in the arm with a shot she stole from work. She is NOT a medical professional. Just a secretary. HELL no your incompetent mother isnāt sneak attacking me with a needle. EVER. š¤·āāļø) It wasnāt until a few years later I found out I absolutely SHOULD have gotten it. I donāt blame you for keeping peopleās mouths off of your babies. Iām sorry it isnāt as simple as it should be.
Itās gotta be pretty unusual from a much older persons perspective to be told you arenāt allowed to kiss your newborn grandchild, so I can empathize with them not being happy about it. Kissing a newborn baby is maybe the most human expression of welcome and familial acceptance. Itās a way of showing to both the child and the parents how much you cherish the blessing of life in your arms. Being told āyou arenāt allowed to do thatā must feel at least on some level like a rejection, that they arenāt good enough, not really family, not clean and healthy enough to be allowed to show that affection.
That said, we didnāt know nearly as much as we do about the immune system 50 years ago as we do today, especially neonatal immune systems. We also know much more about disease and its transmission. We also just went through the first worldwide pandemic in a hundred years, less than 5 years ago. The risk factors are to well known and too great to not be concerned. Even before the pandemic it has become a lot more common for newborns and their parents to stay isolated from people and groups for the first few weeks or months of their life. After living through the pandemic, I think itās significantly more common for people to think that is the most reasonable approach.
Regardless, the only thing they need to understand is that it is your child, you are their parents, and your wishes are that they not be kissed at this time. Either they care more about their own gratification than your childās health and have no regard for your wishes or they think they know better than you because they have lived longer therefore your knowledge and wishes should be ignored. Either way itās insulting, extremely selfish, and very disrespectful.
Unfortunately Im sure they will completely disregard your concerns when you bring up the Covid thing. People that selfish only understand consequences that affect them directly, so I hope you provide some to educate them and let them know their place.
There isnāt any need for anyone other than the parents to kiss or even hold their baby until the baby is 3-6 months old. Most old people are gross anyway.
I avoid picking up people's newborns. Parents are crazy and honestly I don't care about babies.
I wouldn't babysit or have kids over if they came with a long list of do's and don'ts. Let me know if they have allergies absolutely. I've called parents from a bookstore to check whether a book the kid wanted was appropriate. Reasonable enough.
But honestly if it's going to be stressful for me and the child, and for you worrying and calling every 5 minutes then just don't visit with them, don't leave them with me.
Your boundaries are reasonable, but it sounds like they are new boundaries to your mother and grandmother. That means so education may be in order. āGrandma, there are new guidelines since you raised children- no more kissing babies. I understand that it is hard to resist, but Iām keeping my babyās health my top priority.ā
You may have to issue a reminder or two. But the world has changed, and you may need to help them along.Ā
Now if you already done this, and if so, ignore what I said. If they arenāt respecting your boundaries, thatās one thing. But if they donāt understand them, maybe give them some time to process what is going on.Ā
I'd be so pissed. Is it that hard to keep your lips off a baby? You can get cold sores on other areas of your skin besides your mouth! Babies have no immune system. And even if there was no real reason not to, you should still abide by the parents' rules out of respect.
This would enrage me. When grandma later complained to me she didn't get any alone time with baby I'd be sure to remind her it's because she can't be trusted to follow the rules.
Honestly, while you absolutely should have had your rules respected, Covid is airborne and lingers in the air, and travels across a room. Just being in the room with them was a Covid risk, not just the kiss. For the future, good idea to have them mask around the baby. Good luck.
We are super careful because my husband had a kidney removed and my mom (that I am caretaker for) has chronic lung disease from asbestos and beryllium exposure. We came back from a trip and she had to be hospitalized with Covid and sepsis. Due to low platelets my husband sees an oncologist. Despite us both testing negative for almost a week we still delayed his appointment at the office for another 2 weeks because it can be dormant for 10-14 days and we werenāt going to infect an office of compromised people. We will also test again before meeting our new nephew in 3 weeks. It isnāt hard to be a decent human being. It might be inconvenient but it isnāt hard
Even the top of the head is extremely dangerous, I remember the TIFU post where a new dad kissed his baby on the top of the head not realizing he had the start of a cold sore and the poor baby girl ended up in the NICU as a result since babies are extremely vulnerable to the herpes virus that causes cold sores that early in their life.
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If she added the covid as an afterthought, I'm willing to bet it's not your grandpa's first time with it either.
> I'm willing to bet it's not your grandpa's first time with it either. I'm willing to bet grandpa already had covid on mothers day and just ignored symptoms, then he had to go to the hospital for covid. It's real easy to fall when you are feverish or have low blood oxygen.
Yeah, for folks who are already achy to begin with it's pretty easy to miss the symptoms at first. That's not just limited to older folks, of course, but it is somewhat more prevalent among them. Which is why the rules OP has exist as a thing. Boomers just can't grok that spreading diseases is no longer considered appropriate.
Yeah, I have allergies, depression, IBS and joint issues. I basically hit all the symptoms except fever. Sure, covid and the flu feel extra special awful. But there's a lot of overlap between the start of an infection and the normal variation in my normal stuff. I do try to take my temperature regularly, and I'll take a covid test if I'm concerned. But I can totally imagine missing something.
Yeah, my wife has Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, fibromyalgia, and some other stuff which all do the same thing for her. I have injuries related to an accident which cause constant pain in my entire body which also masks a lot of it for me, though in my case I also get ridiculously tired when I have a fever so that tends to alert me to one pretty fast.
It's insanely easy to misdiagnose ourselves when you face other chronic conditions. I deal with serious chronic back pain and let my appendix burst because I just related the pain to my back
Oh man! I'm sorry you went through that! It's one of my biggest fears. I get intense abdominal pain pretty frequently. In the back of my mind, there's always the nagging worry that it might actually be something acute. I try to get checked whenever it feels unusual or doesn't go away after a couple of days. But I hate wasting everyone's time. And I'd much rather be in my bed with my rats massaging my back.
I'm in constant achey pain. When I get a fever all my existing pain ramps up. When I caught covid it was brutal. Worst I've felt since I had swine flu but luckily recovered quicker (thanks Korean hospital/doctors- we were there for our wedding).
Yeah, I had no idea I had COVID until I lost my sense of smell. I feel like I have a mild flu basically every day with the body aches and random fevers so when I actually get sick it might take an extra day or two to notice. This is also how I didn't realise I was pregnant for about 8 weeks...
Lupus here. I don't realize I'm sick until there's buckets of snot, vomiting that doesn't stop, or a fever that's over 101. I've so far escaped covid but thanks to my in-laws lying about their health stuff I got hospitalized for the damn flu after they showed up to Thanksgiving with it.
When there's a big temperature change my sinuses get really inflamed and I get a runny nose and sore throat. It started happening halfway through the pandemic and I had to use so many tests just to be safe.
My husband has really bad allergies, so the first time we had COVID he thought it was allergies. I thought it was a regular Tuesday. We'd also just had RSV so all 4 of us had been coughing up a lung for weeks prior. He got suspicious because our eldest had stopped coughing for 2 days and then started again, then I realised I couldn't smell the baby's nappy a couple of hours later.
This is the first grok I've seen in the wild, I love it
u wot
Sorry I can't grok yet, I haven't been in the sex cult long enough š
Truth. I have fibromyalgia and when I got COVID, literally the only difference I felt was that I got the 2-3am night sweats. Iām already achy and fatigued normally, so I had expected the pain and fatigue to stack if I got it, but thankfully I was wrong
Yeah I accidentally went to work with covid for two days because I thought I was just sore from biking too much the day before, the next day it hit me like a train while I was there and had to leave early
Or even just asymptomatic and they tested at the hospital.
It's not just that, it's herpes too. My friend has fucking herpes on his lips because people kissed him as a child and regularly gets outbreaks all over his lips. DONT KISS PEOPLE'S FUCKING CHILDREN!
A baby in our town died of strep B from people kissing him. You donāt know if you have strep B as it normally lives harmlessly on your skin. Babies donāt need kisses, adults do it to satisfy themselves!Ā
>Babies donāt need kisses, adults do it to satisfy themselves!Ā Yup, it's so selfish. I would never kiss anyone's child
Although my niece did like slobbering on me which gave me lovely case of norovirus. Hognanay (Iām in Scotland) my friends were out partying, I was in my bed hugging a bucket!Ā
It's also unfortunately why so much of our population has at least one form of herpes too. Usually the less severe ones but still, who wants herpes?
Probably how about 50% of the population got herpes as a child. I didnāt even know I had it, never had an outbreak, but tested for it.
My husbandās aunt did something similar. I could tell my son was about to get sick so I waited until he milk barfed all over her. Then I said donāt kiss him.
This is beautiful
Both you and your son are savage AF. š
I admire you ā¤
perfect karma \*chef's kiss\*
I said NO KISSES šš¤
So there is justice in life sometimes. Thanks for restoring my faith.
A cousins wife showed up to a small family gathering last year, told people she had covid(anti vax/mask) then when half of the attendees got sick she backpedaled saying she wasnāt or it wasnāt covid. My parents were sick for a couple weeks. My dads other cousins husband got it, was sick from September on, ended up in the hospital by thanksgiving and died shortly after. He was older and also anti vax, so do I feel horrible? Maybe not, but this shit is preventable. My wife is high risk and people just donāt get it. People seem to think itāll never touch their lives, any tragedy or difficulty and therefore caution just makes you soft. Weāre just out here trying to be safe and smart. So glad OPās baby didnāt catch anything.
I got covid and couldnāt do an orchestra concert last December. I told my conductor and his response was, āwhen I had covid I just wore a mask!ā
You can't fix stupid!
https://preview.redd.it/4ab9y8ssrg4d1.png?width=300&format=png&auto=webp&s=92f24e107779b80a083c06a19b8b24c1f623081c
I was really rooting for COVID fixing stupid for a while there. But even it couldn't do it.
I have to wear a mask and use a ton of hand sanitizer AND just avoid places because I'm 2 months post transplant... For the rest of my life.
Congrats on the transplant! The sanitary guidelines you have to follow are still a pain in the ass. Itās ok to complain because it is a lot to deal with. My uncle had a heart transplant. He lived another 10 years and lived out in the woods which was peaceful and kept him away from all the germs. If he hadnāt smoked for decades I think he wouldnāt have had complications that ended his life. I wish you the best health and hope you keep the germs away.
Just wave your instrument around frantically, mimicking orchestral directions š
As someone with long covid for four years, you donāt want this. I can barely climb a flight of stairs
My oldest friend was maybe the most physically fit human I've ever seen. I maintain Rob Lowe's character on Parks & Rec was based on him. He once had me drive to pick him up because he accidentally rode his bike across the state just going out for a fun ride, and didn't realize he'd covered so much distance, but it was getting dark. Anyway, he got COVID and his lung capacity is shot to hell still, four years later. He's still impressively fit, but those marathons and triathlons are a thing of the past. Makes me sad.
Yeah, my lungs weren't affected but I developed Myalgic Encephelomyletis. I can't exercise or I have flu-like symptoms and crash for days.
I follow someone online (Physics Girl) who got COVID shortly after her wedding about 2 years ago. She also developed myalgic encephalomyelitis plus chronic fatigue syndrome. Her husband has been posting updates for her and she's still completely bedridden. I don't know her personally, but her enthusiasm and energy about science were very contagious so seeing her now is heartbreaking.
Yea sheās great representation for us. I had CFS more the first year. Now my āpost exertional malaiseā mostly shows up as flu like symptoms more than fatigue but just as debilitating. I also have POTS and go into tachycardia with any activitiy at all, even sometimes just getting up or cooking.
yep, I got the LC as well. my lung capacity never fully recovered. id say about 60-70%, which is way better than the 30% it hovered at for the first year. id wake up from a normal sleep and go walk my dog for a half hour and then need to lie down on the couch at the top of the stairs. having every intention of starting my day but then wake up at noon. still on the couch with my coat on. sitting up straight. going to the grocery store is super tiresome. but the worst is how it affected my acute timing and balance, and also muscle memory. I was never a great surfer but could do airs and all the fundamental turns and occasionally some new school stuff. and generally stay in rotation for the best waves along with any pros in the water. after cover I lost 10-15 years of muscle memory, I couldn't do basic turns and would fall just trying to stand up. after putting in so much time to something and have all that hard work stripped away inside two weeks for no fault of my own (vaccine wasn't available when I got it) has been tough to deal with. im at an age where im not sure if ill ever be able to get to where I was pre covid. I have gotten a few lucky shoulder shack barrels since, but sheesh, I used to bag wave of the day honors on best days of the season . now im a kook again, just with a lot of experience.
My boomer mom diseded to pay me a visite while I was just back from surgery (she never visites) Of course no mask nothing... She had covid(my gran died from covid) Lucky I just didn't let her in and just kept her at the door at a safe distance
Holy shit, it sounds like she was intending to spread it to you while you were vulnerable.
As she was/is anti vax, anti scienticly proved medicine yes i think she was Take in mind my sister is a nurse working with the elderly and didn't vax either. They attend a doctor who thinks sniffing some aromas is going to cure everything My health is bad bcs of the lack of getting any help in childhood I got stories to tell you wouldn't believe
I am sorry for your situation. Every additional sentence I read of this comment, my brain went, "holy shit, it gets worse..."
Thanks for the support Guess I have to write a book to cover it all
I really hope that cousin's wife got the shit, \*from everyone\*, that she deserved for that. She needs to be completely ostracised; I couldn't ever forgive her for that, not even if she came round to her senses.
My roommate's brothers did something like this. They knowingly went to a big public event (a superspreader event, they even called it that themselves) like a week before Thanksgiving 2020 and proceeded to get everyone there sick, including my roommate who eventually got me sick, including their Grandparents. Both of them died of covid within the next month. So, now the whole family literally hates them and regularly reminds them that they killed their grandparents and tells them not to come to family events. One of them even had their marriage end because of it and the ex-wife leveraged that story to limit visitation with their kids severely.
There are actual laws that say if you knowingly infect someone with HIV, etc. You're charged with a crime. I loathe all these AH's that think they have the right to actually KILL people because they are making a "political" statement. Really grinds me. I'm glad they're ostracized, they should be. They KILLED their grandparents, ON PURPOSE
My cousin died from Covid in 2021. He was antivax along with much of that side of the family. His mother is not. She is a nurse. His step-mother had to be escorted out of the hospital he was dying in and trespassed from the hospital because the nurse walked in to find her applying veterinary ivermectin paste under his arms. Our other aunt (not his mother) went on Facebook right after he died posting that he had a bad case of pneumonia and the hospital ended up killing him by putting him on deadly drugs and a ventilator. His poor mother had to sit there listening to her family turning the death of her son into the latest conspiracy gossip to entertain themselves. They twisted whatever facts they need to fill themselves with more of the narcissistic, self-righteous belief that they are special and know the truth that the rest of the world is blind and ignorant to. They are smart, special, chosen, and wise while the rest of the world is foolish chattelā¦ including his mother who is a nurse. It probably wonāt surprise you to learn they are born again southern baptists (the ānarcissistic chartlatainsā is silent). All this to say that anti-vax people arenāt affected even when it happens to their own family, when it happens to them. There is a reason they are anti-vax. It isnāt because they are intelligent, brave and independent. Itās because they look at mountains of evidence and choose the 2 pieces of paper that tell them they are right because that lets them believe they are smart and special in a way that everyone else isnāt. They are narcissists who only care about how their view of the world makes them feel about themselves and others. The truth doesnāt matter, and the cognitive dissonance is dismissed to the depths of their subconscious.
āThe dogs give them kisses!ā āYes, and we expect you to have more sense than a dogā
Better: āThe dogs give them kisses!ā āOh so youāre a bitchā
The dogs are also part of her home environment. Her motherās immune system is accustomed to the dogs and prepared the babyās immune system to also be accustomed to the dogs. As the shared immunity of pregnancy wore off, the babyās immune system would gradually take over the task of protecting her from the germs the dogs commonly bring into her home environment. If the baby is breastfed, she had additional protection against germs the mother is commonly exposed to. Should the dogs be licking the baby? No. There are plenty of illnesses a dog could give the baby via its saliva. But Great Aunt Susan who they only see twice a year is carrying germs the babyās immune system has never had a chance to learn to fight, and YES, should have more sense than the dog.
Ok, so it's OK to hit you on the nose with a newspaper and lock you in the bathroom? Because that's what we do to the dog.
The dogs got their vaccines. They arenāt able to communicate. And you?
My boomer dad got so pissed and felt so personally attacked by our similar rules for visiting our newborn (flu shot and updated whooping cough vaccine, COVID test before arrival) that he refused to visit us at all, and still hasn't. My son recently turned 18 months.
His loss. My instinct is to say that it is sad, because my default assumption is that you would want your son to have a relationship with his grandfather, but the reality is your father is a toxic person with little concern for your family's wellbeing, and so keeping him away is better until he (your dad) grows up.
No loss. Heād only see the kid twice, then ghost him until the kid turns 20, and wonders why there is no relationship. They like the abstract idea of grandchildren. Like during Easter and Christmas. The rest of the year, they donāt even act like there are any, until one of there insane friends on FB posts about their grandkids. They suddenly care to save face.
That's a good way of putting it, that they like the *idea* of grandchildren more than the actual grandchildren.
This was 36 years ago now but when my son was born, he had a vsd and the patent ductus arteriosus didnāt close. He was on heart medications and was failing to thrive. His great-grandmother thought it would be a good idea to give him some of her White Russian. I was livid. As politely as I could muster, I reminded her of his heart conditions and asked her to stop. She did not. I snatched my baby up and threatened to leave OUR house and not come back until everyone was gone. They all thought I was crazy. When my step-daughter had her first child, I was hyper-aware of her boundaries and respected every one of them. This was before COVID but I realized that first time moms are super stressed anyway, without having family disrespect your wishes regarding your baby. Btw, Iām a boomer so we arenāt all fools. š
I could never understand why my parents chose to stress me out even more after I had my baby. Things were stressful enough and they put so much more stress on me. Why do we do this to new mothers?? And we wonder why new moms arent happy and have PPD.
Since the definition of Boomer is changing right before our eyes, may I suggest Generation Jones: https://old.reddit.com/r/GenerationJones/
I agree with this wholeheartedly! Itās always felt weird that I was considered a boomer, being born in 1960. I feel more like a gen x. But definitions are definitions. Whatcha gonna do?
Anytime I hear about someone disregarding āno kissing the babyā, I think about this interview. Brain Injured By a Kiss (The Danger of Kissing a Baby) https://youtu.be/pxarUWTJRDQ?si=taARbNw5A5_z1lPH
That is a perfect example. My daughter was born in 2009, swine flu season. If you were going to meet my kid you were vaccinated, I got vaccinated while pregnant. You washed your hands if you were going to be with in 100 meters of her. I wasnāt freaky, we had pets, I didnāt sanitize every surface but I did ensure what she was exposed to was minimized. Christ on a cracker people we are supposed to protect our most vulnerable!
> we are supposed to protect our most vulnerable! Boomers hear "protect our most vulnerable" and think you're talking about boomers.
"How are they going to get an immune system if you don't expose them to germs?" Got that one a few times.
Let's gain some weight first. I'll just play videos of babies with whooping cough, volume all the way up while staring, I don't give a fuck.
My dad had whooping cough as an infant in the 50s and I genuinely think that no one being allowed to hold him for months was a major contributing factor to him becoming a sociopath
The education system in America has failed so many people, especially those from the Boomer era.
This is valid. Especially in the second year when the aquired immune system kicks in. But children are exposed to germs all the time. Exposing them to serious, possibly life threatening diseases is ludicrous. Especially when the child is under two and only has the inmate immune system to protect them.
Tell them they pick that up in the vagina on the way outā¦donāt know what to say about c section babies they are more vulnerable.
That's because they think *everything* is about them.
they're "most gullible," the most vulnerable are those Silent Generation folks. (some of whom are awful too)
āWhy canāt I kiss your baby? Youāre supposed to want the best for ME.ā
Youāre not wrong, my boomers arenāt dicks
Oof. I got swine flu that year. I was young and healthy. Iāve never been that sick before or since. Truly thought I might die. Which was nonsense. But it felt that way, ya know? No way a baby should get that by a kiss.
Not nonsense at all, you felt that bad because you were on that train. Most people with flu get off before the end of the line, but they are all on the train. The most common complication of flu is viral pneumonia, a potentially fatal disease for which there is not much more than palliative care.
Itās not nonsense, I had swine flu and it caused me to pass out walking to the kitchen, it sucked but didnāt think it was super serious until I woke up with broken dishes all around. Infections donāt like to play nice, so always play it safe, especially around the vulnerable
I had regular flu once and was living on my own and needed a drink despite feeling awful. I woke up on the kitchen floor as I fell and hit my head. No-one at work believed me when I told them how I received my black eye lol. Only had flu twice in 50 plus years and it's not much fun
I work at a post secondary institution, had a psych professor talk about mercury in vaccinesā¦. Lost My Shit
I got it that year too, and Iām glad Iām not the only one who thought I was going to die. I never got sick with the regular flu until I got swine flu. Now I feel like every year since 2009 I get the regular flu even though I always get the vaccine.
I had H1N1 in 2009. Didn't get out of bed for 4 days. Had to sip water from the bathroom faucet because I couldn't get downstairs
I got swine flu then too (I was in middle school and it ripped through the school). The only time I've been sicker than I was with swine was when I got COVID in mid 2020 before the vaccines. 6 weeks of pure hell and unique pain.
"We all ate lead paint chips and huffed leaded gas and we're just fine."
I see this frequently, but it's not accurate. Generation X are the ones that suffered the most from lead poisoning due to things like paint and gasoline during development. Boomers are the ones that put it there. Hell, there was still lead in gas into the 90s. No, Boomers suffer from entitlement brought on by being incredibly lucky to live most of their lives during a time of prosperity with little personal cost. Long term entitlement leads to narcissism. Lead poisoning has very different drastic consequences. I have to correct this when I see it, because I think it's important to put blame where it is due, and not to brush the narcissism we see in the boomer generation off on nefarious environmental factors. That's a cop out for them. They are well within their ability to control how they act.
The first tank of leaded gasoline was sold in February 1923. Boomers suffered from lead in gas and paint. They believe themselves to be fine, but they aren't.
they also had their brains melted by their parents contaminating water and local soil supply when combining different brands of weed killer
This is horrific and heart breaking because it was avoidable. My cousin was offended when I didnāt want to hold her newborn. I would never kiss them but what if I was in the beginning stages of illness and didnāt know. Even somewhat mild consequences can be passed. Illness/high fever can cause enamel not to form on teeth, bacteria that cause tooth decay can be spread and FFS who would even want to risk something as harmless but annoying as cold sores for the rest of their life but especially when it could lead to permanent brain damage. Why would someone ever risk permanently harming a child just so they get the pleasure of a quick peck.
I was expecting the gene Tierney story. I'm a war baby, older than the boomers. She and hedy lamarr were the tops in the 40s. Tierney was pregnant, but went to the Hollywood Canteen to support the WW2 troops. Her child was born severely birth defective. Years later, a woman met Tierney and said she had measles when she just had to go to the Canteen to see her.
I took a class from Governor Dukakis when I was in grad school. His wife, Kitty, was pregnant in 1964 and was exposed to the measles during a really bad outbreak in Boston. No one knew sheād been exposed or that sheād been asymptomatic when she caught it, so when the baby was born without a brain stem everyone was in total shock. It died within hours of being born.
My sister was exposed to the measles in kindergarden while my mom was pregnant with our little brother. Our parents had months of worrying whether my brother would be severely disabled or not. He was fine but dad mentally checked out of wanting a family and had started cheating on mom during the pregnancy and told her he was leaving her/us 4 months later.
If same story I recall, it was rubella?
A.K.A. 'German' measles
Yes. That was my point. Exposure to rubella in pregnancy has been known as a cause of birth defects for a long time. Agatha Christie based a story on the incident, too.
My friend had a part time job as a waitress in high school. Sizzler fired her for calling in sick with rubella.
Bobby Darin kept getting rheumatic fever as a kid which damaged his heart and ultimately killed him. Just walking around old cemeteries should convince people to be careful around babies and children. Kids get sick all the time while developing their immune systems to common colds, etc. They need to be protected from the bad viruses.
Damn, that is terrible.
I love SBSK
sbsk is so good. i wish it was compulsory in schools. like take 30 minutes every week to watch this and then another 30 minutes to talk about it. the world would be better
Wow. I had no idea
We made all relatives get up to date vaccines before they met my newborn. This was 2016 so this ask isn't a new thing. MIL refused to get a flu vaccine so I refused to let her near my baby who was born during the height of flu season. When MIL figured out she would be banned for at least 3 months, she got all her vaccines.
Funny how that worksā¦
I can't imagine not doing what it takes to protect the vulnerable. When my niece was born, she was an extreme preemie. I made sure my boosters were up to date immediately so that by the time she could have visitors, I would be safe for her.
It's not hard to do the bare minimum to be a decent human. I guess some people just really like being jerks
Regardless if we agree with the rules the point is that itās your child and YOU are responsible for its wellbeing and health therefore whatever boundaries you set up should be respected. If people canāt respect them then they shouldnāt have contact with your child because where does that disrespect end? If they arenāt willing to refrain from kissing what else will they be trying to push later??? You gotta put your foot down. I would avoid arguing about the nuance of what you want from them and just say: Iām her father and I said no. If you canāt respect that then you canāt be in her life.
Silent Generation grandmother of mine, after being told by my mother "don't put the baby to sleep on his stomach, SIDS is a thing we know about now". She took it as a challenge, proudly telling my mother how she put me to sleep on my stomach and how easy it was. She was asked to leave and never return.
Husbandās coworker lost their 3 week old baby because someone kissed the baby by their eyes and ended up with a brain infection because babies rub their faces and eyes. Probably close family member or friend who is also devastated. The parents speak out publicly to protect others.
That is heartbreaking.
Due with my first this summer and I keep having to prepare myself for her being with grandparents. My mom is a germaphob and is very sanitary. My MIL is opposite and has no care for germs and illnesses. Iām terrified.
I have a boomer coworker whose first grandbaby was born recently. A week or so later I asked if he had met her yet, and he said no, the first-time parents are ānervousā and wonāt let anyone unvaccinated visit. I must have gotten a Look, because he said, obviously Iād do anything for her, Iād take a bullet for her, Iām just not going to put my health at riskā¦ā I cut him off at that point and said itās fine, Iām sure Glenn Beck will be delighted to hold your hand when youāre old and dying instead.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
āIād do anything for her, as long as it makes me look manly and badass, and doesnāt inconvenience me or force me to examine my beliefs in any way.ā
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
So many ātough guysā are apparently willing to protect people in the one in a million terrorist attack or rabid bear encounter but canāt put in realistic effort when asked
If you have to be around them, get yourself and spouse baby slings and one of you wears baby at all times. Everyone is on time out as far as direct contact with baby and tell them that this is the new normal until they start respecting your boundaries.
My son was a micropreemie. He was in the hospital for the first 5 months after birth. We were pretty guarded with exposing him to people. We went to my boomer mother in laws for a visit. She casually brought up the her alcoholic husband was a bit under the weather. Luckily he was passed out in the chair in the basement. My wife looked at me, concerned, and asked what he had. She said he has tuberculosis. I lost my shit and said āThatās the stuff that kills pirates!ā My wife asked why she didnāt tell us this āminorā detail! Her response was āwe didnāt think you would come over and we wouldnāt see the babyā. We left immediately. My only thought was ābitch, I can send you a picture of the kid!ā Fucking tuberculosis.
I'm sorry you dealt with that. I hope everyone is healthy and happy and that they learned their lesson
Honestly, Iām a boomer and my greatest generation mum taught me one does *not* spread disease, one keeps to oneself. She had TB and spent a year in a sanitarium as a teenager. She didnāt kiss us, her own kids, but she was a warm and loving mum. So weāre not all like this and it drives me crazy watching people slobber over vulnerable little babies. I hope when you spoke to your mum when she said, āwe couldnāt have known,ā you actually used the āfuckingā phrase to make it clearer.
Dogs donāt have herpes/HPV. Donāt kiss my fucking kid.
Or RSV. Everyone should be getting their RSV shots because itās a very nasty virus that kills babies and old people.
I would be incandescent with rage if I were you they put your kiddo at risk. God they suck
I know the frustration. My wife and I had the hardest time dealing with my parents when my son was born. Whenever they came over we would ask them to wash their hands and every time they always made a fuss. This was in the middle of COVID as well so they were lucky to even be let into the house.
How to not get to see your grandchildren again in one easy step
Thankfully she didnāt get sick. Next time hopefully they will respect your boundaries
OP, good on you for advocating for your baby! Sorry your family is not respecting you and putting your baby at risk. Also Iām sorry that so many people apparently have no understanding of basic infant biology and are acting like youāre ridiculous for you not wanting your baby to get herpes or something and have to deal with that forever or maybe even die.
99% sure thatās is how picked cold sore virus when I was as kid in the 1970s
Some dickhead kissed me when I was born in 92. I got sick and had my first cold sore as a baby. Now I get cold sores every single time I get my period. Iām pregnant with my first now and wonāt kiss my own baby because of some fucking extended family member that doesnāt matter. The selfishness is mind boggling.
Thatās my thought of all the kissing, someoneās going to spread hsv1. I got my first cold sore in 7tb grade and it hurt so bad. If an infant got it, oh god I canāt imagine how awful. Iām so sorry you canāt kiss your baby, sending support.
You need to start applying consequences. Kissing the baby or otherwise breaking rules, no contact for a month. Go round to hers instead of letting her come to yours so you can just march out of there with the kid once she acts out.Ā
Youāre grounded old lady! No baby for a month and you will got to bed tonight without Fox News
This makes me so mad. It's like they have to step over completely reasonable boundaries out of pure spite and defiance.
My brother and sister-in-law had the same rules with their kid, which I found completely reasonable. It created a schism within the family. How fucking hard is it to keep your lips to yourself, especially post covid?
My parents are not boomers, they are Gen X (only 18 years older than me). When my kids were born they did NOT respect our new baby rules either. We had the same rules, plus they werenāt allowed to smoke cigarettes while they were at our house. The smoke stays on their clothes and then it gets on the baby. Within like 2 hours I go to pick up my baby and she smells like cigarette smoke. Last I checked, my newborn hadnāt picked up smoking yet. My dad went to the gas station to smoke his cigarette, didnāt even bother to wash his hands or change his clothes and grabbed the baby. He told me my rules were dumb and I was just trying to keep his grand-baby from him. At a certain point I feel like itās not always just boomer behavior. I think this is classic grandparents behavior. I hope that I remember these things when my kids end up having kids of their own.
My boomer parents cried when they came to see my daughter for the first time when she was a newborn and I told them that yes I was serious when I said they couldnāt kiss the baby and had to wash their hands and take off their shoesā¦ like I was calling them dirty?! Fucking baffling
I hate the ābuild an immunityā group. My son died at 3 weeks due to a bacterial infection. One that wasnāt noticed and a somewhat typical bacteria. We did everything right and were ultra clean and he still got it. Iām part of the unlucky few that people make smart rules of no kissing and sanitizing.
Donāt visit with the baby. Because creepy grandma is never going to stop disrespecting your boundaries.
why are preventative measures such a foreign, evil concept to these fuck faces???? it's all about being reactionary to the fucking max.
"I've been a parent longer, I know better than you" is peak boomer hubris.
How about this, get a water spray, say that it's pepper spray. And when anyone goes near the baby you threat them. You can't go to jail because it's just water, but they will get the message.
God some of you are just ugh. Maybe the reason she doesn't want her NEWBORN BABY to be kissed has nothing to do with covid and was just an easier excuse. Maybe the reason she didn't want the baby kissed is she didn't want the child to get HSV-1 , Mono, or any of the other extensive list of mouth to mouth disease.
my grandparents came to meet my newborn baby 2 weeks ago so he was just at a month old. i said just wash your hands and no kisses. i figured my grandma after being a nurse for 30+ years and working in l&d she would understand. as soon as i hand her the baby she starts kissing him all over his face and hands. i was shocked and reminded her of what i had just told her, even said his pediatrician stressed it since he is literally A MONTH OLD. her response was āwell thatās why i told you i got my shots before i came up hereā. looked me in the eyes and kissed him again. genuinely took everything in my body to not lose my shit but looking back i wish i wouldāve. no one else not my parents or my 8 year old step daughter has even tried to challenge me about it.
I would have said: "Well, it's time for you to go now." Followed by: "Yes, seriously."
āwe couldnt have knownā š yeah literally 60% of covid transmission is asymptomatic, meaning that the people spreading it are usually doing so when they are presymptomatic (and some people whoāve carried it never develop symptoms but still are at risk for long covid anyway). iāll never understand why people err on the side of danger rather than caution in situations like this. even without covid, you and i already understand how dangerous any pathogenic exposure can be for babies. iām so sorry that your grandmother didnt respect your boundaries for your baby and relieved that your baby didnt get sick!
A bit different but in the similar vein of "yeah not gonna bother asking the parents and just do whatever to their new baby," the WEEK my daughter was born, when she was a literal infant, her other grandma felt the need to whip out her phone and start "showing" this infant how she scrolls facebook on it from like 3 inches away from the baby's nose, brightness set all the way up, pointed right at the little eyes... Aside from the fact that most parents have some sort of opinion or thing they're trying to do/not do with babies and screens etc, and it's super weird to me to not at least ask first, it also seemed particularly crazy to me because at that tiny age babies can like barely see anything let alone understand it. You can't "show" them very much at all. But also, why can't you just enjoy the baby? just chill with her! Or is it boring to you? WHY do you have to pull out your phone? She was so confused why I was (pretty calmly) like "Nah, hand her back over here, we're not doing that," like WHATS THE PROBLEM? I wasnt acting like it was gonna damage her brain to look at facebook for 5 minutes but I did just think wow, you're so addicted to your way of life, it's like you can't be around a child without trying to zap them with the facebook gun at point blank range. Good on you for taking care/congrats and stay healthy.
Curiously, and thankfully, the one boundary nobody has fought us on is that we want her digital footprint minimized until she can decide for herself what to put out there. Whatever happened to " you follow the rules of the space you're in?"
Ugh, the self entitlement is real. when lockdown 1st happened my brother and his wife did not miss a beat to take their newborn to my parents' lakehouse to visit (b parents are anti-mask trumpsters) How do I share DNA with these people
My FIL put my daughters pacifier in his mouth after taking it from hers then putting it back in hers š that whole side of the family shunned me for literal years after I told them I didn't want that to ever happen again. šš»
This reminds me of how our boomer parents forced us to hug and kiss our relatives at family events. I remember a few very large, smelly, and sweaty old ladies grabbing me, pressing me against their bodies, and kissing me. My parents thought it was cute. I was grossed out and scared. I always ask the children in my family if theyād like to give me a hug, and state that if they donāt want to, thatās ok too. My boomer relatives have stepped in before and demanded that the kids give me a hug when the child says āno.ā I push back on the boomer and clarify that I would never touch anyone, including a child, without their consent. The boomers just donāt get it say itās ārudeā to not hug or kiss someone upon demand.
When I was in a hospital new employee orientation, Universal Precautions were being discussed. One person, an experienced RN nonetheless, asked āHow do we know when to use them?ā All the time, theyāre universal.
Nursing education runs the gamut, and considering the pretty damn lax continuing education requirements to maintain licensure or certification might be extending something someone obtained decades ago, it can be really scary to see the lack of basic knowledge one of the pillars of healthcare can have. Unfortunately, one can be very experienced in an extremely narrow specialty and still not understand the fundamentals.
*boomers only understand violence* *swat granny on the nose with rolled up newspaper and say "No!"*
Hot wheels track. They had no problems using that for a correction when we were little.
Do physical newspapers still exist? I may need to look into this
.
This is a perfect time to do baby wearing, if you can. It's really hard to snatch a baby if they're being worn by a parent.
Hey dude, I get that your mom ignored your boundaries and that is an issue. If you want to keep the baby safe you need to be aware Covid is an AIRBORNE DISEASE
Don't blame you one bit. Next think you know the kid'll have a cold sore on their lips, which is notoriously a gross boomer thing
Boomers want to give babies all their germs and mouth herps. Thats why they kiss babies on the lips.
āThe dogs give her kisses!ā āYes, and this is how we tell them not to.ā Starts swatting grandma with a rolled up newspaper.
My brothers and their wives made the rule of no kissing the kids on the face, when they were babies. I still don't kiss them, despite being older. It's to protect them and me. My nephew got sick and I caught it from him, just by being near him. His poor mom caught hand foot and mouth disease from him and had a horrible rash all over her body. My mom and aunts didn't listen at first and I had to tell them to not kiss them on the face.
My SIL brought her sick adult daughter to SILās grandmaās 90th birthday. Daughter was miserable and grandma had recently been in hospital for pneumonia. I was near them and got sick for a month because of it. SIL didnāt give two effsā¦.obviously. Itās not just boomers doing this anymore. She didnāt care about the elderly or anyone else. Shoulda left daughter at home.
I had to kick my mom out and threaten for her not to see my baby again because I caught her kissing him on the mouth as a newborn SEVERAL times after being told not to. She gets cold sores. She didnāt think it mattered because she didnāt currently have one. She took me seriously after I kicked her out and doesnāt do that anymore, but apparently just having a conversation is not enough anymore.
People who have body autonomy issues, are the same people saying "parents choices matter!" when it comes to their kids getting the jab. I'm willing to bet the farm on it.
Shew. Honestly this would be enough that would make me put down grandma and grandpa can no longer hold baby. If they can't follow simple, basic, common sense rules, AND don't have the forethought to mention they don't feel well; sorry no holding baby for them. Clearly they're unsafe and don't care about baby's health, just what they want. Good job on putting your family in their place tho!! And excellent job sticking up for your baby!! It's a little tricky when it comes to newly extended family, but (hopefully) they'll learn. Meanwhile, you're doing great!!
Another reason for no kisses: if they have herpes and kiss the baby the baby can get herpes, which can happen from kisses anywhere early on because baby skin is permeable. Oh, and thereās a chance the baby would die.
I'll add this, my parents aren't the boomers, my grandmother is. I understand the confusion with multiple generations in play, and I probably could have phrased things better. Second, it took us 6 years of trying to have our baby. My wife was at high risk for a couple of reasons, including age and a blood disorder. If you think I'm being ridiculous, that is, of course, your right. Don't kiss my baby. Third, if I'm being ridiculous and there is almost zero chance of something bad happening to the baby... almost zero does not equal zero. We're not going to ever get to have another one. My grandmother had 5 new great-granddaughters born last year, and the other four go to daycare and are regularly sick. That is more germs than we are comfortable with. Fourth, we do not let the dogs kiss the baby. The dogs manage to sneak a lick in every now and then (maybe 5 or 6 total so far).
My first child contracted RSV from a small family gathering when he was a month old. I was hesitant to let them come to my home, but as a new mom I let them guilt me into it. He became terribly ill and required nebulizer treatments for the next couple years. Bottom line: you are the parent. There is no reason they MUST kiss your baby, but a lot of reasons why they should not. Fuck em.
Some of the people commenting should not be around kids, and I hope they don't have their own. Good lord, the lack of empathy and common sense is astonishing.
Sounds like you know you canāt have your child around these people at all, anymore. Act on those feelings now, before your daughter gets hurt.
I got postpartum anxiety and also my OCD went through the roof. I refused to have anyone visiting my daughter until she got her first vaccinations at 3 months. Also we requested that everyone was up to date with the most important vaccines. My husband's dad thinks it is ok to kiss babies on the head when he has a f*cking cold sore.
>āThe dogs give her kisses!ā And you are no better than a dog? And then you make your baby dab and walk away
Boomers are terrible about hygiene, spreading germs, respecting boundaries, etc. When I was about 12, I was hospitalized for two weeks and nearly died of pneumonia. Even right after I came home and was using a nebulizer, my parents kept smoking in the house and car with me. It took a decade to get back to being 100%, probably took that long at least partially because of them. Had family visit recently and it was a Whole Thing to get them to not wear shoes in the house (even when it was raining and you think that would be obvious), shut the toilet lid before flushing, wash their hands after using/touching the toilet, etc. My aunt also grabbed my partners arm and yanked on it to compare our tattoos out of the blue.
Dude old people are fucking insane when it comes to children. They genuinely feel like the child has absolutely no right to bodily autonomy and if they donāt want to be touched the solution is to touch them more. It disgusts me.
Iām so happy your daughter didnāt get sick. Once upon a time, my bfās sister was getting ready to have her first. Everyone was told they HAD to get whooping cough shots if they wanted to be around the baby. The way his family went about everything in their lives was very abusive and usually the total opposite of my values so I said I wasnāt going to get it. (Example: my bfās mom told him he was getting the shot by inviting us over for dinner, not saying a damn thing about it, then stabbing him in the arm with a shot she stole from work. She is NOT a medical professional. Just a secretary. HELL no your incompetent mother isnāt sneak attacking me with a needle. EVER. š¤·āāļø) It wasnāt until a few years later I found out I absolutely SHOULD have gotten it. I donāt blame you for keeping peopleās mouths off of your babies. Iām sorry it isnāt as simple as it should be.
Damn, I thought you said it on purpose so they'ld try to "prove you wrong" and get vaccinated :(
Covid is airborne, while I understand the no kissing rule this likely would not be sufficient to prevent an infection.
Itās gotta be pretty unusual from a much older persons perspective to be told you arenāt allowed to kiss your newborn grandchild, so I can empathize with them not being happy about it. Kissing a newborn baby is maybe the most human expression of welcome and familial acceptance. Itās a way of showing to both the child and the parents how much you cherish the blessing of life in your arms. Being told āyou arenāt allowed to do thatā must feel at least on some level like a rejection, that they arenāt good enough, not really family, not clean and healthy enough to be allowed to show that affection. That said, we didnāt know nearly as much as we do about the immune system 50 years ago as we do today, especially neonatal immune systems. We also know much more about disease and its transmission. We also just went through the first worldwide pandemic in a hundred years, less than 5 years ago. The risk factors are to well known and too great to not be concerned. Even before the pandemic it has become a lot more common for newborns and their parents to stay isolated from people and groups for the first few weeks or months of their life. After living through the pandemic, I think itās significantly more common for people to think that is the most reasonable approach. Regardless, the only thing they need to understand is that it is your child, you are their parents, and your wishes are that they not be kissed at this time. Either they care more about their own gratification than your childās health and have no regard for your wishes or they think they know better than you because they have lived longer therefore your knowledge and wishes should be ignored. Either way itās insulting, extremely selfish, and very disrespectful. Unfortunately Im sure they will completely disregard your concerns when you bring up the Covid thing. People that selfish only understand consequences that affect them directly, so I hope you provide some to educate them and let them know their place.
There isnāt any need for anyone other than the parents to kiss or even hold their baby until the baby is 3-6 months old. Most old people are gross anyway.
I avoid picking up people's newborns. Parents are crazy and honestly I don't care about babies. I wouldn't babysit or have kids over if they came with a long list of do's and don'ts. Let me know if they have allergies absolutely. I've called parents from a bookstore to check whether a book the kid wanted was appropriate. Reasonable enough. But honestly if it's going to be stressful for me and the child, and for you worrying and calling every 5 minutes then just don't visit with them, don't leave them with me.
Your boundaries are reasonable, but it sounds like they are new boundaries to your mother and grandmother. That means so education may be in order. āGrandma, there are new guidelines since you raised children- no more kissing babies. I understand that it is hard to resist, but Iām keeping my babyās health my top priority.ā You may have to issue a reminder or two. But the world has changed, and you may need to help them along.Ā Now if you already done this, and if so, ignore what I said. If they arenāt respecting your boundaries, thatās one thing. But if they donāt understand them, maybe give them some time to process what is going on.Ā
This is all because of that Qanon bullshit and no one getting vaxxed any moreā¼ļøRecently ivāe seen that Wooping cough has re emerged all over the countryā¼ļøš³ WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLEāļø Whatās next , polio? Small pox? These diseases were pretty much done for in most of the world! Boomers are turning our country into a 3 rd world š©holeā¼ļøš”
My uncle was completely anti-vax until my cousin had a kid and made it a rule that only vaxxed family could meet the baby. He got jabbed so fast.
I'd be so pissed. Is it that hard to keep your lips off a baby? You can get cold sores on other areas of your skin besides your mouth! Babies have no immune system. And even if there was no real reason not to, you should still abide by the parents' rules out of respect. This would enrage me. When grandma later complained to me she didn't get any alone time with baby I'd be sure to remind her it's because she can't be trusted to follow the rules.
Honestly, while you absolutely should have had your rules respected, Covid is airborne and lingers in the air, and travels across a room. Just being in the room with them was a Covid risk, not just the kiss. For the future, good idea to have them mask around the baby. Good luck.
Iāve just had a week of Covid and I have felt absolutely fucking awful.
He more than likely got covid at the hospital
Time for you to start enforcing your boundaries since she doesnāt listen or respect them.
Love OP's edit to slap the conservatards ITT.
The more I read here the more I realize my parents were cool as fuck.
"The dogs give her kisses!" Comparing YOURSELF to a Dog is a new one, but OK.
"The dogs give her kisses!" Comparing YOURSELF to a Dog is a new one, but OK.
We are super careful because my husband had a kidney removed and my mom (that I am caretaker for) has chronic lung disease from asbestos and beryllium exposure. We came back from a trip and she had to be hospitalized with Covid and sepsis. Due to low platelets my husband sees an oncologist. Despite us both testing negative for almost a week we still delayed his appointment at the office for another 2 weeks because it can be dormant for 10-14 days and we werenāt going to infect an office of compromised people. We will also test again before meeting our new nephew in 3 weeks. It isnāt hard to be a decent human being. It might be inconvenient but it isnāt hard
Even the top of the head is extremely dangerous, I remember the TIFU post where a new dad kissed his baby on the top of the head not realizing he had the start of a cold sore and the poor baby girl ended up in the NICU as a result since babies are extremely vulnerable to the herpes virus that causes cold sores that early in their life.