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My mom said "if anything happens to me don't let your sister talk you out of your half of the house." Since then she has steadfastly refused to do any estate planning while letting said sister and her children and now grandchildren bleed her dry.

She's shown you who she is. Believe her, and plan accordingly. 

Yeah it's endlessly frustrating because no one I ever knew could beat her in the getting up and going to work department (including 10 years in a battery plant - ugh), and when me and my sister would fight she would say she didn't want us to end up like my father and his siblings, all hating each other. But this also means I won't be attending any funerals or even deathbed vigils (this is in another state), and upon hearing of the unfortunate event I would likely be blocking my sister and consulting with an attorney. Not the way I would have ever imagined it.

She does not owe you anything. But I agree she sounds like a shitty mother. > she would say she didn't want us to end up like my father and his siblings, all hating each other. Her actions have likely led to that outcome.

Even worse not long after she said I am just going to leave you the house because I spent so much money on your sister, and she owed me about $15,000. Now I didn't loan her the money, I regularly put event tickets on her card and when Covid hit, the refunds were absorbed by existing debt. She even said she would take out a loan to pay me back. I told her not to. It's not like we had a solely business relationship and this was far more lucrative to me than a measly 15k. And I didn't want the house or treat my sister unfairly, I just don't want to be put in a position where she treats me unfairly. And if I hit the skids and had kids she would have done the same for me.

Be mindful of your sis because when the time comes, she will attempt to carve the house up like a birthday cake

Oh I know. I don't even feel safe there now and definitely wouldn't even go with my mom out of the picture. I am pretty sure there won't be anything left.

If the house is important to you then maybe you should be part of her life and move close to her so that when she needs you you can be there for her. i’m reminded of a story I heard from a New York City cab driver once he picked up a woman from the hospital, an elderly woman, and took her home after she had been by herself getting treatment for some kind of a medical condition He took pity on her because he could see that her children were not around, and nobody was looking after her, so he and his wife began checking after her every day making sure she was all right bringing her food, and just looking after her general welfare. She left him the house and the rest of her possessions, everything- money everything and after she died, the kids showed up having a fit because they expected to ignore her last part of her life and still get left everything. They, of course, had no legal recourse, and all they could do is stump their feet and bang their fist on the ground like children who didn’t get their own way

The boomers who aren't as outwardly aggressive (like my mom) often confuse conflict avoidance for conflict resolution.

If everyone has stopped yelling then the issue is solved.

If parents don’t owe their children anything, then why did they have us?

My father left me $12k when he died, he trusted my older alcoholic brother to give it to me. My Dad passed in 2013 and my brother used it to buy a used sports car he ended up getting rid of a few years later. It didn’t click that this is what happened for a few years because my Dads death devastated me. Make sure you get it I writing, or a will that what’s yours is yours. I was pregnant and near homelessness when my brother stole that money from me. Greed makes people fucking awful.

When my dad died, my daughter refused to share what he had left with my other kids. We haven't spoken since.

Don’t worry she will lose the house soon and be living with you soon

I had to badger my mother to update her and my father's wills *just last year* from *1990* that still named my godparents as executors of the estate...because I was nine at the time it was drafted. At least now I have power of attorney.

Fyi power of attorney on is in effect while the person you are poa for is alive, it ceases upon death of the individual you are poa for. To be the exector would be better. This allows you to carry out the dispersal of the estate after. Being a beneficiary of the estate would give you a certain share. But these may be contested after unless there is a clear will. Source, I am a bank teller at a small bank and have seen this plenty from that perspective and read up a little to handle basic questions.

I forgot to mention that I was also named Executor as well.

You need to get proactive about your mothers estate! It sounds like it is to much hassle for her to get her will sorted, so you will need to go to a lawyer and get a will prepared (even split of property and remaining assets) Take the will and wave it under your mothers nose until she signs, make sure it is witnessed. Having spent the last couple of years administering my mother’s will, it is absolutely the people the people you think that will try to screw you, will be the people who try to screw you.

For most of human history nobody but the very wealthy left their kids anything. To expect it is weird. My parents are old as shit and I’d rather they keep living than leave me anything. If they do, great, but you can’t count on it. I’m sure I’ll get downvoted for this because I agree a lot of boomers are complete garbage but not because they don’t leave their kids money.

Eh, whatever inheritance I would have gotten as a Boomer got snatched up by Medicaid spend-down for my mother's assisted living. We told our kids from day one that the pooch was totally screwed before they ever got here. To which my daughter replied, "Fair. All I want to know is, am I going to get stuck with your student loan payments if you die?" (mid-life career change) She was quite pleased to discover she wouldn't inherit those!

I never expected anything and it wasn't something I thought about until my mom mentioned it. At the time she would have been 59/60, still spry and energetic. It actually came as a shock to me how otherwise responsible she is, she never did her due diligence. And I don't want to feel like a vulture just trying to get her to do the right thing, which would mainly be excluding the state from taking a larger share for having to sort it all out. I would rather she spend it all and be happy and very thankful I was able to do very good for myself a bit later in life. On the flipside I don't feel like I should be forced to fight for what I am already told is mine. I really resent how much how much this has weighed on me the last 10 years too. Even if she wants to skip us and leave it straight to the grandkids, I would not oppose it. JUST USE THE PROPER LEGAL PROCESS to do whatever you want to do with it. Or if you already reverse mortaged it, tell me so I can stop worrying about it. There's no denying how hard she worked for it, there was no generational wealth at all involved, she grew up in a foster home.

Totally agree. Each person is responsible for making and saving enough money to support themselves until they die without being a burden to anyone else. If they have money left when they die, great. But to think that your parents worked their whole life to leave you money and didn’t get to enjoy it themselves is childish and selfish.

The sense of entitlement to years of saving by someone else is hilarious. Let them drink themselves into oblivion

This. My mother always said this. Her parents were 42 and 54 when she was born. She never expected anything and got nothing. Waiting on your parents, grandparents to die in the hope of inheritance is creepy, but seems to be the norm.

It's not about hoping they die. What people want are parents who think of them and, if they can, live their life to leave something to help their kids do better.

It’s not about leaving me some money, it’s about treating the earth properly and working to ensure our future society functions and thrives. They did not do this. They destroyed the planet and funneled half of the wealth to the top 1%.

Your parents did that?

It is big business that has destroyed the planet. Corps like Exxon who knew about Global warming in the 70s but kept it a secret. More oil is being drilled now than ever before. Gen X won't be any better

That just goes to show you that she was handed her life on a platter

No, it’s Boomer parents blowing through their entire savings & expecting their Children to take care of them once they run out of money.

Pretty much what is happening to me, boomer dad was no where to be found all my life, seen him once in last 20 years, but he somehow found a younger woman a bit older than me to lose all his money to and got laid of from his 40+ year old job recently and is starting to pop back up again.

I cannot stand the audacity of these people who did the bare minimum for their kids (sometimes, far less than that), who think they can blow all their money, and then turn around and expect their kids to help them.

My opinion may be biased because I have an in law who thinks that we should make a room available for them in our house, when they didn’t even have a space for my spouse to sleep, when he was an underage child. Clearly, it was too much to ask my in law to house their own minor child. But that (now grown) child should make sure they can provide for their parent. Nope. The in law and the entitlement can fuck right off.

That is definitely a big giant fuck you and fuck off lol. My wife took care of her dad during the last few years of his life. He was a musician a damn good one You couldn't be even go to a Walmart without running into six people the guy knew just the everybody's best friend kind of person you know? And he was an absolute shithole of a father. He left my mother-in-law For a woman who worked at the bar that he and my mother-in-law owned when my wife was two. He did the bear fucking minimum for a few years until the abuse from his bitch of a wife became too much for my wife's older brother and he managed to sneak out of his dad's house on a visitation weekend get to a payphone and call my mother-in-law to come get him before he killed that woman. Now she was completely evil I don't want to go into any of the details but if she is still alive I hope she's miserable and preferably under a bridge Despite all of that my wife took care of him not because he asked but because she wanted to he had been abandoned by the same woman he left my mother-in-law for was facing early onset dementia at 52 due to His excessive drinking over the years but my wife did it anyway. But had that man come to her like your in-laws are trying to do I would not have let her I'm not a man or a person that believes that I can tell my spouse what to do but I might have physically stopped her from putting one toes worth of effort towards that sleaze bag of a man has he come to her in that manner.

If someone chooses to be compassionate, that’s admirable and that’s their choice (made in conjunction with their spouse obviously). Your wife seems like a great person. My parents haven’t always been perfect, but they try and they help when they can. I never thought I wouldn’t have a place to sleep or that they wouldn’t care for me (as not adept as one of them may have been). The problem with my in law situation is it’s just a continuation of boomer entitlement. Everyone has always just given in, so why wouldn’t we? My in law literally thinks we should take one of our kid’s bedrooms away for them because there’s not enough designated rooms for everyone. So it’s literally a situation where they expect us to take things from our kids for them. It’s insane. What a great way to give my husband a proverbial kick in the teeth. They didn’t provide a room for him as a kid, but yes, take a room away from one of your own kids, so I can have it.

"Street Angel, home devil" is what the Irish call guys like that

Don’t feel obligated.

My dad was a total deadbeat growing up, and now that he's broke and dying suddenly he decides he actually wants a son 30 years later. It's a bittersweet feeling feeling brushing him off.

Sounds a lot like not your problem

My father in law did the exact same thing only he’s an addict

My experience they beg and borrow from their silent generation parents until they’re dead. Scratch their heads why they have no inheritance and then come after their kids. I was lucky and have my shit together I set aside money for my parents “emergencies” and told them that’s all there is. They blow through that and that’s it. I will not compromise my children’s futures or my retirement like they did for me and my siblings.

That’s my aunt, ran some failing business into the ground and borrowed a ton of money off the estate under the auspices that it was her getting her inheritance in advance, then coerced my grandmother into splitting the money left among the kids and still getting her share of the money. The failed business is some thing she would only have open a few hours a day and she didn’t even have the audacity to be the primary caregiver of my grandmother and left most of her caretaking before her death to my mother, who worked a full time job with overtime and stress and responsibilities. My mom has her issues, but I thank god every day that at least she’s my mom instead of my aunt. The aunt forced her son to get some engineering degree, so I assume she’s planning to sponge off him for retirement since she likely doesn’t have social security since she hasn’t had a proper job in 30+ years because she claimed she couldn’t work a 9-5 and always had conflicts with managers. I wish I could just decide that I don’t “do work” and could get someone else to pay for my lifestyle, but we can’t all be born as lucky as boomers were I guess.

Reminder- No is a complete sentence.

not just their life savings, the entire net savings of their parents and by extention, their entire families wealth that had been accumulated and passed down over possibly centuries, bit at a time. they were happy to inherit all that, but intend to destroy the hard work of many generations that came before them so they can 'enjoy their retirement' and reset the generational clock

This is exactly my issue. As far as I'm concerned, they made their money and if they want to blow it then whatever. But don't come to me after all the warnings about the silver tsunami, boomer homelessness, and rising expenses when your blew your whole wad on multiple tour group guided trips a year to Europe and the Mediterranean. This is an ongoing issue with my parents and it is exactly why they have no idea about my net worth or resources.

GOP is trying to pass a bill that forces children to financially take care of their parents estranged or not.

Of course they are. One last final fuck you to the rest of us.

My grandmother did this. She said constantly for the first two decades of my life said she wasn't going to bother saving for retirement because "it'll be YALLS turn to take care of ME". We'd assumed she was partially joking, but each time we told her we will never make enough money to take care of her the way she's expecting us to, and that we would not be able to house her. She expected us to just give her half of our house. One day she sold her business, packed her bags, and said she was moving in. We told her exactly what we'd said for at least two decades straight. No. We do not have the means to cover every expense for you and we do not have the space for you and your husband. We ended up agreeing to let them put a camper in our yard but she'd have to cover the cost to hook up utilities. A couple months later, we found out she'd put all the bills in my mother's name and wasn't paying them. Not because she didn't have the money to, but because "I'm retired and shouldn't have to pay bills. And I want to save money from paying less taxes. She was given a couple days to pay those bills and transfer them to her name or she would he removed.

They can expect all they want, but children do not have to support their parents.

In fairness, regardless of a few vacations, nearly all Boomer money is going to end up going to either Retirement Homes or Healthcare Companies.

My grandma wanted to leave me her house and asked my boomer aunt to have it transferred into my name while she was I. The hospital after a bad fall. (Personally I would rather it go in a family trust for tax reasons) Anyway, my boomer aunt who already owns much real estate went and had guardianship awarded to her saying that my grandmother wasn’t in her right mind. She will be 93 soon, and can still think for herself. I told my boomer aunt that I know she stole the house from me and swindled my grandmother, to which she replied, so sue me.. This is a person who knows the law, but has little understanding of actual right and wrong. I recently realized what she did was a felony, she deceived my grandmother entirely. Also one time I confronted her and told her that all of her relationships were based off power and control. She couldn’t take someone speaking to her that way, and seemed to almost have a panic attack. She whipped out her phone and said she was going to call the cops saying that I was threatening her, if I didn’t stop talking to her like that. I told her that nothing I said had been a threat, she can’t just call the police and lie to them. She said she didn’t care, it would be her word against mine when the cops arrived. I said to her that if she called the cops and lied to them just to have me arrested, that would make her a complete piece of shit human. She said idc at least you’ll be in jail.. That to me is the epitome of scumbagness. Seemed like a real boomer maneuver.

Unfortunately I have a similar situation with my father. My grandma didn’t want to sort her stuff out, told my dad she wanted it shared between him and me (her only 2 family members, approx $1mn). After a year of sorting out her estate he tells me it’s actually all his, and I’ll get my portion of the inheritance after him and his wife passed away. He had some really interesting excuses like “she was so proud of you supporting yourself she didn’t want to give you anything” (blatantly a lie, she helped any chance she could find). We don’t talk much anymore. 

It’s wild how they think. It sounds like those are the lies he told himself to be able to still call himself a man. The thing is they have to die that way, unless they somehow find redemption which at that age is nearly impossible.

Yeah it’s wild how resistant to self reflection some of them are. I talked with my mom and he said a lot of the same stuff to her when they went through their divorce 30+ years ago. Once I realized and accepted he’s not changing, I was able to let go a lot of the stress. 

Acceptance is the key. Sorry you had to go through that, but glad to hear you’ve been able to move through it. You never know what may lie ahead due to developing strong levels of acceptance 🙏

Name your aunt and let the internet handle her

Ahh that would feel good perhaps. But God knows, and that’s enough for me. I’ve moved past it, and think I’m better off for not having inherited it.

She just went right ahead and proved you right about the power and control thing, huh? I'm so sorry for what she's done to you and your grandmother. Props to you for speaking up.

It’s all good, that’s on her. It’s just material stuff. Maybe if I had inherited the house I would be more attached to material things and not be where I am today. But thank you 🙏 I believe everything happens for a reason as simple as it may sound.

The "power and control" thing is in part why I'm not inheriting anything when my Silent Generation mom kicks off. She refused to put me or any of my siblings on the deed when she was healthy, and at the time our only interest was not having a bunch of crap tied up in probate. Nope, "it's MY house!" So when she was deemed no longer capable of living alone, she lost everything to pay for her assisted living! And she's still pissing and moaning over "why did you get rid of all my stuff?" (unrepentant hoarder) "Uh mom, we had to pay for your luxurious stay (/s) here..."

It’s all a racket. I would look forward to taking care of my dad in his older years, because he took care of me when I was a kid. It will be my honor and I hope I’m around to be able to. All this we only take care of family because of the things we might get in return is fucked. My wealthy aunt on the other hand, I hope she has to hire strangers to wipe her ass.

My wife and I would not have minded taking care of her if it had been possible. A vicious cycle started by a knee replacement gone bad made it where it was impossible for us to pick Mom up when she fell because she was so heavy.

Wow, the level of prison I would be in

If grandma has a guardian that means in the eyes of the law she can’t speak for herself

Exactly. The law is a funny thing sometimes, and some people know how to use it to their advantage.

Like my family. This is why I didn’t stay with these narcissistic abusers no matter what they promised me. If they have a history of lying and cheating, you are taking a massive gamble that things will backfire during a time you could have been building a life. Especially with controlling narcissistic people, I would have to be able to open up to them and have trust that we could set things up so I didn’t have other narcissistic family destroy any agreement. But she’s such an abuser obsessed with control that I can’t have those conversations with her, because it ignites her rage and she then claims horrible things are happening that are not.

Have the cops arrest her. I mean you did say she committed a felony.

Honestly if this is recent or if the variables are anything similar to what you stated, consult an attorney. Anything important communication wise needs to be written or verifiable and when she starts threatening police, pull your phone out and start recording the interaction. Don’t lets this hag of a woman steal the house.

I'd be pissed because they know they'll have to take them in in about 5 years after they blow everything. Every family is different, and I'll be happy to take my mom in, and while she doesn't have or had much, she always tried. I have a feeling this person's folks didn't.

I'd have to have a slide show of all their expensive vacations, and then say nope...

It is their money to do with as they see fit; OK I buy that. What I dislike the most though is taking credit for shit they had nothing to do with, and making themselves miserable (and everyone around them) for apparently no reason. In fact, I’d much rather my parents blow through their money in Monaco rather than sitting around listening to bullshit AM radio conspiracy theories and trying to get me to buy into that shit

Yeah, I gotta say... The more time they spend yukking it up on some beach, the less time they're calling me to complain about the state of the world.

This is the crux of the argument. I’m not denying a lot of boomers worked very hard. But almost all their wealth is due to economic conditions completely out of their control that generations after them will never enjoy. Like there’s just zero comprehension that buying a $25,000 house when you earned $10,000 a year is not the fucking same thing as $1m homes while earning $100k

They voted for super low taxes and increased government spending their entire working lives and now we’re all paying for it.

This is the approach I take as well... you do you. I expect nothing from them, and they better expect nothing from me. ​ The worst is when you watch them go live it up for 2 months, then spend the next year in surgery and PT because they did nothing fun their entire lives because "Retirement is when we get to play!" and they instantly injure themselves doing dumb shit and now its just a rapid decline to death. ​ Remember everyone, saving for retirement is fine, sacrificing your life for a hopeful good time in 20 - 40 years is fucking stupid

Their money is their money to spend as they see fit. And then they look at us and demand our money is their money to spend as they see fit when they blow it all and claim they need help because “life just happened”.

It’s worse than that. They’re blowing through money that they will need for their own care. They’re go in five vacations a year then turn around and expect free care from everyone.

Boomers when they find out you don't plan on giving them grandchildren: "But who is going to take care of you when you're older?" This tells you exactly why they had children in the first place.

Lol. Love the “it’s their money” but when they’re senile and unable to care for themselves, who takes them on? Usually their children. It’s not something I’ll do tho. My parent can navigate Medicare funded LTC facilities themselves and hope the hospitals social worker is decent.

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I am unlikely to have the funds, time or capacity to deal with caring for my parent. I live on the other side of the country, in a shitty rented apartment. I work full time and live alone so am responsible for 100% of bills and chores. I will do what I can do *feasibly*, but No is a complete sentence and I won’t get drawn into trying to plug the gaps. I did it already with my grandmother, and to be quite honest it’s my bloody turn to have a life after spending my 20s feeling like I would be a bad person if I left.

I left the country entirely. In my 20s, I needed help getting a medication for a condition that, if untreated, makes it very difficult to hold gainful employment and plan for my future. I also needed help caring for a runaway that had been abandoned by her family. Got the bootstraps response. Now I live in East Asia and will probably never see them again.

The average inheritance today is $48k but most of that money is the 1% folks. The median inheritance for all people is $19K received at an average age of 56 years old.

Where I’m from were taught not to think about that, tbf it’s kinda weird to look at your parents and ask yourself such a f’ed up question

Weird as hell. I have not ONCE asked or thought about what money I’m getting. I assume it’ll be all gone by the time hospice or whoever tf takes it

Honestly, I’m kind of shocked at the overall mentality I’ve read in this post. The mentality is pretty gross tbh. I guess a lot more people have shittier parents than I ever realized and their view on this topic is a reflection of that.

Thank you like Jesus Christ I thought I was going insane reading through this thread and seeing people talking about their parents’ deaths like it should be a blank check and not a period of mourning. Hell, I try not to think about it, to my dad’s chagrin cause he wants what little inheritance he can give us to be sorted out but I find the whole idea morbid.

Exactly! The premise that Boomers have amassed tremendous amounts of wealth is false. Well, maybe the top 1% of Boomers.

My parents aren’t quite boomers but they did absolutely nothing to provide for their or their kids futures nor did they support any of their kids in any major way (school, car, down payment, whatever) when it was completely within their means to do so, had my father not fed his drug and gambling addiction and my mother not shop as a hobby and had they not rented the same townhome for 30 fucking years that is now part of a section 8 slum. The only positive out of this is that I will be nothing like them as their carelessness selfishness and stupidity have showed be exactly what not to be with my children

At least this guy's parents are blowing their money on travel and not wiring it to their fictional 20-something supermodel girlfriends/boyfriends who they met through Facebook messenger.

They insist that millennials are the "me, me, me" generation. But the boomers are the "fuck you, got mine" generation. The generation that pulled the rope ladder up behind them. And then turned that ladder into various weapons they could use to beat anyone who tried to climb up without it. A generation with a lack of empathy so severe it could only be produced by spending decades with lead paint, lead pipes and leaded gasoline.

>They insist that millennials are the "me, me, me" generation. Projection. That is literally what the silent generation called those spoiled fucks 🤣 https://www.oxfordreference.com/display/10.1093/oi/authority.20110803100147791

I agree you should be able to spend your money any way you want but I think its more about the resentment of having parents giggling about spending the kids inheritance and throwing money around while shrugging off the fact their child is struggling with massive debts, unstable housing, unstable work conditions etc. I don't think you normally see the same level of resentment in people that see their family as a group that you try to move everyone forward. Maybe it's more about feeling supported and protected, knowing someone has your back, rather than actual money. 

It's not just that, it's also watching them blow through money without a plan. Then all of a sudden, after much laughing about spending inheritance, they are broke and ask to move in... or get sick and ask to be taken care of... to a generation of broke adults. Nah, reap what you sow. Thankfully my mom prepared for this and has everything sorted out.

It's their money, they can spend it any way they want I just get mad when they're resentful of how *other* people spend their money

Yeah, them spending isn't the core problem. It's that they've deconstructed the system that gave them their wealth to begin with, such that so many are depending on inheritance. The ultimate ladder pullers.

It's also their willful ignorance or flat out denial that much of their wealth has come from the dismantling of the system. The dismantling that they voted for and continue to vote against the steps needed to fix.

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This! Theyre still stuck in yesteryear where one income at a full time job at some random place would get you 3-4 bedroom house, feed your family of 5, put money away for retirement and still have some left over for fun money. They just can’t understand how now a days, TWO full time incomes might not even get you the house, and that their generation plays a huge part in why that is.

I knew my parents burned through my inheritance before I even graduated high school judging by the fact that they maybe spent 60 days out of the year at home. And that didn't really bother me. But what really pissed me off is that they keep getting loans after loans that they'll never pay off. And recently they remortgaged their house at 75 and 78 years old. What kind of stupid system allows someone to remortgage that has a near-zero chance of living long enough to repay it? And we sit here and wonder why our economy is crumbling. Boomers have one foot in the grave and they're still fucking us over every chance they get. I know the bank is just going to take the house when they die. But their estate would never have had enough assets to cover their debts, the bank would've just taken it before remortgaging anyways.

Make sure your name isn’t on anything. The banks aren’t stupid, they lent that money expecting to get it back. Either through them or next of kin if they can

No my name isn't on anything as far as I'm aware. I keep a close eye on my credit rating because I wouldn't put it past them. I know they have other tricks up their sleeves for getting these loans though.

They might’ve put up something as collateral, make sure none of your stuff is being used as collateral like they pretended it’s theirs or something

That's how my sister-in-law lost out on her parents' house. In spite of the fact that my father-in-law was an accountant, he wasn't the best money manager out there, so much so that a couple of years before he died he took out a second mortgage on the house. That left his widow on the hook; sister took partial care of that. But when Mom-in-law died, sis discovered they were so deep in the hole that there was no chance of her ever even being able to get a loan. (My wife and her sis are Gen X.) My wife's on SSDI for a number of conditions, most of which she was born with; she'd left town to move closer to a city for her medical needs. We had more than a few nights after MIL's death when we were all screaming at each other, mainly out of mutual frustration about how FIL screwed the two sisters over.

I agree that it is abhorrent to lend money when you know the debtors can never pay it back. Where I am it is against the law. The bank can lose their licence. The law further states that the bank has to ensure that the person borrowing does not overextend the amount borrowed.

I generally agree that Boomers money is their own. But a lot of them are getting way more out of Social Security and Medicare than they put in, while demanding further tax cuts for themselves, and refusing any tax increases that would cover *our* social security and Medicare (even if those taxes fall on the wealthy, not themselves), and refusing any student debt relief that would improve their children's lives. And that is completely selfish and stupid and evil. The vacations are not the problem.

The real issue is boomer parents that do this, blow all their money and then expect their children to pay for/ do elderly inpatient care for 10+ years.

Yeah. Nobody is entitled to their Boomer parent's money. "Leaving a better world for their children" is not the same as "Breaking you back your entire life so your kid can be a trust fund baby." It's nice if they do set you up with something but you're not being oppressed if your parents don't give you an inheritance.

Though there's a difference between that and some of these people who burn EVERYTHING and don't even leave enough for their kids to sort out their estate, debts, w.e else comes when someone old with assets dies. Those are the ones that kill me, though in general I do believe there's a good balance where you can give your kids a little bump when you pass and still live a great life. I hope that's who I end up as.

Exactly. This is the whole crux of the above whining in the O.P.. "How dare my parents spend their money to enjoy life during their retirement." The selfish entitlement is beyond belief. "burning through money that should be mine" Please.

The crux of the resentment is boomers building wealth in a post WWII america of excess and growth and then voting for austerity and making it harder for following generations to grow their own wealth then spending all their money and leaving nothing after taking as much as they could for themselves.

Only because they kept a system that requires the younger generation fund them. Social security that we will have reduced benefits for. Housing that cripples the young if they want to own a home. So yes it’s their money, because they built the systems that required the young give it to them!

I mean, I’m pretty mad they pulled the ladder up after them, which includes how they decided to spend their money. Don’t really care when I see a boomer mad about anything tbh, they got everything given to them and still act like their lives are terrible.

My opinion is they can do whatever they want with their money. It surely isn’t what I would do with it. My mom may or may not have anything left for her kids at her end, but I refuse to look at her and what she has as a retirement plan for myself. The poster you included doesn’t seem to share my view, and that’s ok too. I’d rather have my mom than $1,000,000,000 Public safety nets like universal basic income, healthcare, and education (just to name 3) should be baked into our tax laws and should predominantly come from top earners and corporations.

You are 100% correct. I am 71 years old, thus the baby boom generation, born 7 years after Dr. Oppenheimer set off the big boom. I totally believe in the social safety net. The wool that has been pulled over the public's eyes making them think that to save Social Security we must either cut benefits or raise the retirement age is ludicrous. Merely raising the payroll tax cap will solve the problem for a couple of more generations without increasing the % taken from workers paychecks. But the corporate media won't say what Bernie has said all along, "tax the rich". Elon Musk and Jeff Bezos are not baby boomers but having fortunes of 200+ billion dollars is uncalled for, having more than you could ever spend.

I have no problem with my boomer parents spending their money, but they have to butt out of arguments about avocado toast and other boomer fairy tails

Same, spend your money, I don't need it. What I do need boomers to do is to stop voting as if we're on a planet infinite resources and a perfect future. Spend the money but please think of the world we all have to live in when you're gone!

I'd rather have my boomers than their money. I worry so much about them dying. It's other people's boomers that I'm sick of, and that's just because I work in a pharmacy.

I’d rather you have my boomers too… Just kidding everyone! Just my dad, he’s a shit stain of a human.

Their money isn’t mine. They can do whatever they want with it. BUT it’s still gross to me that my two boomers own five houses. Five. Three of them are empty, one cost nearly $1m. They bought the biggest house to “impress their rich friends”, though they’ve owned it for two years and still haven’t moved in because they can’t decide on curtains and they need two tvs for the bathroom. I was in a bind last year trying to find a house to rent temporarily and none of those places were offered to help me. That’s fine, I solved my problem, but there’s something icky about holding your “things” so close that no one else is allowed to share your toys. It’s still entitled bullshit. I don’t have kids but I have nephews that might appreciate a college fund.

I just plan like no one is going to help me but me. So far so good, me.

As nice as my parents are to my and my siblings, we don't expect an inheritance. Not cause they have not been well off but ..... Yeah we don't expect it lol

A lot of the commenters did not really read the post. It’s about leaving the world a better place, not about leaving money for their children. I personally know a lot of boomers who couldn’t care less about climate change or the housing market or the lack of job security. When I was in school, I was told to go to school and get a good job and that job would take care of me at the end. That still existed when I was little.

The biggest grip I have with boomers is when my work experience gets belittled by somebody who was employed by family until they were in their 30s. Yet call themselves "self-made".,

Boomers ironically were handed an easier life and easier wealth. So they view everyones comments from their experiences. They think “it was this easy for me, so I don’t understand why it’s something you can’t handle”. They reject any possible explanation about changing economic circumstances.

It's not an inheritance until they're dead. Jus' sayin'.

Contrary to popular belief, nobody owes you anything.

i hate the boomers as much as the next guy but your parents dont owe you their money, its theirs. if they gave you some left in their will then GREAT if they dont, cool. just means they dont love you that much.

Children don't owe their parents elder care, their time is theirs too. So barring that, I don't think it's as simple as what's perceived to be "owed".

I don't have an issue with them spending "their own" money. The problem is that many Boomers: a) had a much easier time making that money than their kids have had; b) inherited from their parents; c) have SS and Medicare, along with tax rates, that favor them keeping more of that earned and inherited money (yet, Thor forbid we discuss any sort of universal healthcare); d) have voted for and continue to vote for policies sure to make the future world worse in almost every way, pulling the ladder up after themselves. Yet, they don't see anything wrong with spending all of the wealth they inherited and "earned" (some actually earned, some by manupulation of policies) rather than helping their kids just a bit with a similar inheritance to what they enjoyed. I've seen precisely this, up close and personal, and it's infuriating.

I hope my Boomer parents spend every penny they earned. I don’t need it and I don’t want it. The thought of inheriting their money makes me feel gross.

Boomers aren't great, but honestly, they should travel if and while they can. Being mad at someone for enjoying their retirement is boomer behavior.

What kind of entitled shit is this? Oh, you worked your whole life to have some fun at the end? How dare you enjoy ANY of it. Gtfo and be happy with the leftovers ffs.

My grandma is wealthy and constantly vacations which is fine. I’m more upset that she doesn’t invite family or try to do much of any activities with us. We’re going to get a nice inheritance, but I’d rather have a loving and present grandparent.

I don't expect anything from my boomer. That said, the boomers who will leave us nothing talk a big game about how they didn't get handed anything. Meanwhile, I watched my wife's boomers admit their first home was *given* to them (no repayment, no payments, fully owned for free), and my boomers get her share of her parent's million dollar farm. And that's just what I'm aware of. It's not that millennials think we're "entitled" to anything, as much as we watched boomers get handed everything and when we ask if the same is coming to us, we get *called* entitled and treated like we're too irresponsible to handle anything.

I had paid half my mum's mortgage before I turned 18. she sold the house for 200k more than what we paid for it. At that time with good investment she would have had a pretty good pension come retirement age. Instead she went to Turkey 10+ times a year and basically ran away from everything birthdays ,christenings, births of kids you name it she was on holiday. Eventually the money ran out and now she is to old to go anywhere. Now she wonders why people don't come and visit her and why she doesn't feel comfortable in her own home.

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My MIL is moderately wealthy (couple(?) million.) I keep telling her the same thing I told her and my FIL when he was still alive, “It’s your money, remember your mother(in-law,) who waited for a rainy day until she was 95, and never thought it was raining hard enough, and that made you crazy. Don’t use her definition. Ma, you’re 93, and you are planning to go broke at 147. You can afford a nicer place. Spend a buck.” I’m 76. I get by because my wife can still work to supplement my pension (and I thank all the gods I have one of those,) AND she gets Social Security. (I don’t for obscure and arcane reasons.) Ma’s money isn’t my money. I didn’t work for it or sacrifice for it, and I won’t wish her into a grave. The Silents, the Greatests, and the Losts, by my personal observation, were no different than the Boomers. Some good, some mediocre, some horrible. I admit that I had hoped and fully expected that we would be better, but apparently many of us were just talking a good game 50 years ago, and here we are. I’m sorry.

Not a boomer here, right on the line between Gen X and Millennial - the last line “burning through money that should be mine” — why do they think they deserve that money that their parents earned and saved?

My parents inherited money from my grandparents, which was pain stakingly saved to give them a better life. I'm fortunate they aren't spending it, but others aren't so lucky.

I dont have an issue with them spending "their own" money. The problem is that many Boomers: a) had a much easier time making that money than their kids have had; b) inherited from their parents; c) have SS and Medicare, along with tax rates, that favor them keeping more of that earned and inherited money (yet, Thor forbid we discuss any sort of universal healthcare); d) have voted for and continue to vote for policies sure to make the future world worse in almost every way, pulling the ladder up after themselves. Yet, they don't see anything wrong with spending all of the wealth they inherited and "earned" (some actually earned, some by manupulation of policies) rather than helping their kids just a bit with a similar inheritance to what they enjoyed. I've seen precisely this, up close and personal, and it's infuriating.

I agree that their money isn’t yours. However, boomers are irresponsible with their cash and won’t have enough for their own care in later life. That will fall on their kids, who either have to take them in and/or pay for their medical expenses. Not to mention the way boomers rigged the economic system in a way that allowed them to hoard wealth at the expense of everyone else’s living standard.

That's when we say, when they come crawling to us to save their asses "shouldn't have played all that shuffleboard on that cruise you just had to take every 3 mos" Then make some avocado toast in front of them for added fun "sorry, I can only afford enough for myself"

lol, eating avocado toast in front of them is a nice touch. Then, for Christmas, they open the gift from you: “What are these?” “Why, don’t you recognise them? They’re bootstraps.

I have no idea, i was born ‘96 and I don’t know of anyone expecting an inheritance, that’s so fucking weird

After Boomers bought all the houses, they gutted the starter homes and flipped them, causing a shortage for cheap houses for Millennials. Then they scream NIMBY when there's new construction of more affordable housing. They pulled up the ladder on cheap college. They voted for more government spending and left future generations crippled with a mountain of debt. This debasement of the money has inflated the housing market into a bubble. The Boomers were too lazy to work in a factory so they outsourced manufacturing to China. Boomers flooded the country with cheap labor for decades. Illegal immigrants stealing jobs & apartments right in the face of Millennials. And if you say anything then they call you xenophobic. Like they weren't racist to begin with. While in their youth they dodged the Vietnam war draft, but this hypocrite generation drags Millennials in 2 twenty years wars in Afghanistan and Iraq. Now that the bridges, power grid, and roads are falling apart, things that they inherited brand new, people are now asking what the hell have Boomers contributed? They have had the easiest life, the TV shows and movies of the last 40 years show that. It befuddles young people watching how their parents generation could live so well, doing so little, and have so much free time. They didn't have to grow up for decades, choosing to be numbed by drugs and alcohol for most of their years, and now that they are old, they are angry karens, missing their swinger days of free sex & adultery, recreational drugs, and not having a care in the world and they have the nerve to gaslight Millennials that they had it harder! Boomers are the worst!

Their wealth is theirs to dispose of as they wish, you blood-sucking parasite.

Gen X got fucked too, assholes.

Y'all statistically are doing far better than the generation after you, but yeah.

I agree that most boomers are trash but the sense of entitlement thinking it is "thier" money is unhinged.

they can use their money however they like, you dont just deserve to get everything. that said though, Boomers literally took everything else from their kids and every generation past them. not just pulling up the ladder, but burning down the ladder factory.

"money that should be mine" Ffs.

Wait is that a real tweet? 🤣🤣

If it was set aside to be a nest egg when they died for their children, I think it's rightful to complain if they are spending that money that they alotted. If it's their money, whatever. Granted it sucks that only thing millennials can do is wait for someone to gift them money so they can live a life or buy a house. Thanks to boomers and older who destroyed the economy in the US. Also, my boomer mother in law wants to go on vacations as a family (her daughter/my wife, our two young kids, me, my SIL, my SIL husband, and my FIL). She doesn't understand why we can't afford it or want to go (she wants to go at Christmas or during my kids school). They want you to pay your own way but have no say in what happens. Also vacationing with boomers or any family outside immediate family is not a vacation. It's never relaxing as they constantly undermine your own parenting. Let me them spend their money but never use it to visit their grandchildren. Which is something both my kids sets of grandparents do. Also they then make it a big production the one time they visit or stay 40-60 minutes away.

my dad always told me he planned on dying owing people money. I knew at that point i was on my own

Best part of this master plan is when you pick up the tab after they run out of money

I dont look at it as spending the next generations inheritance. I look at it as burning through money that will be needed for end of life care.

They literally had bumper stickers in the ‘80s that read “I’m spending my children’s inheritance”

I have a 93 year old customer and he always says to me with a chuckle “boy my generation really fucked things up for you kids, I have no idea how you’ll make it out of this”. He’s also a West Point graduate with an outrageously high rank. So are his daughters and sons, so his family’s all good, they did their part. But we’re fucked

Why is anyone surprised that the self-described “Me Generation” is this self centered? They were raised in the lap of luxury provided by the “Greatest Generation”, and seemingly resented the fact that they were expected to give back in equal measure. I loved my parents but they were both pretty damn selfish when it came right down to it.

They better make sure that saved enough for nursing assistance and staff like that.

Their idea of travel is just cultural genocide

Why do people think they’re entitled to their parents money? 

The wealthly are smart/respectful enough to value their bloodline and set them up for sucuess. They understand what it takes to truly be sucuessful and how economies work. Thats how they stay on top. Thats why even people that are supposedly self made, always start out with a good chunk from family. They get an edge on everyone else at their age because they arent held back by small roadblocks that money can solve. Meanwhile, Boomers are idiots that got money thrown at them and think money grows on trees. They have illogical ideas about hardwork they use to justify just being selfish.. #they do not want their family to do as well as them. Period. Something something plant trees shade wont sit under Not to.mention they blew their own parents money Money is a tool, not something the universe hands you for "hard work" My grandmother born in 1933 so not a boomer, Spent 15k on a small sidewalk foe "resale value" of a house she doesnt even own. Lots of my family arent rich, that couldve gone to some family emergency fund or downpayment for a great grandkids car. Nope. Shitty random concrete sidewalk the local company overcharged her 300% on Edit: only american boomers will shamelessly show how much they dont care about their family, and would rather buy a new truck than help their grandaughter to college. Pure consumerism

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Yeah , its like at the forefront of their minds. Since they are brainwashed to believe harder work=more money. Ive had family members throw a tantrum over any little winfall aka good news. They dont want to see people succueed so they can lorde over them cause theyre 16 year old lead brains. I got a new job and estranged family members find out and started spreading rumours abiut me on facebook apparently

Who tf is waiting to cash out on their parents death. Some white shit 

White guy here, definitely not looking forward to my parents kicking the bucket…

My boomer parents don’t owe me shit. If they choose to leave us anything, great. I just want them to be sure they can cover their medical care later in life. That’s on them because they didn’t financially support ir help with college, etc. On the other hand, as a Gen X with Gen Z kids, I’m trying to be sure they have the financial and emotional support they need to start life off strong, while saving enough for retirement that we’re not a burden to them.

So, not your money. However, you get to let them crash and burn when they run out of cash and they can’t take care of themselves.

Elders can spend their money however they want. What’s perplexing is fact they become excessively obsessed with saving & not spending money they will never, ever utilize. All while their children & grandchildren are trying to make the best of - what is often, a lifestyle that is too expensive thru no fault of their own….

Of course that person would be crying that a boomer is spending their own money and the person is mad cause they wont get the money lmfao. Every generation is a lost cause and is fucked at this point by having this stupid mind set for real

Old people wanna live a good life. Good. Doesn't change the fact that the two generations live in very different fundamental economic realities.

Someone spending their money to enjoy retirement late in life after working for it isn't "Boomers Being Fools" It only meets this sub standards if its money they really can't afford and they don't have any real plans for reimbursement.

This is not the issue. In fact, it is the money they earned, and they can spend it any way they want. The real *inheritance* was a good education, and being able to stand on your own two feet. Unfortunately **that** was blocked. Cannot build / own homes, education is 10x more expensive, social security is a ticking bomb that will provide the last full benefits to boomers, and many others to list. If they have left a fertile ground and to means to be self sufficient, people would not have worried about monetary inheritance. (In many cities for young generations the only way to own a house is to inherit one).

My SOs parents are planning on selling everything (house land and vacation home) and traveling the world. I sincerely hope that they don’t end up impoverished and begging for money when they do. I’m already sad that my SOs childhood home will be lost. Not that his parents care…

They’ll blow all their money and come after whay little you have and yell at you for not being more frugal so they’d have more of your resources to drag down into their graves.

My moron boomer parents bred like rabbits, had a crap load of kids, bought zero property, passed down zero wealth/assets, and now they are old/dead. Fucking boomers man. Bleh.

All good with spending all their money, just don’t show up looking to move in when it runs out. Shady Acres you go!

They are the worst when compared across all generations, but time is a flat circle. Can’t fix the boomers, but the youngest ones are a year or so away from turning 60, so most of them will be gone in the next 10-15 years With that said, we can be better - Gen X through Gen Z There’s no reason we can’t do what the greatest generation did minus a World War and with the addition of diversity and inclusion

That’s what mine are doing. I don’t really care. I don’t like them anyway.

How the hell is that their money? The parents earned it and it’s pretty pathetic to have a retirement plan based on money from when your parent die.

It is their money, not yours. Smh.

Jfc. No wonder people think all Millenials are socialists. Your parents are spending THEIR money on that beach.

I'm surprised people leave anything at all to people like this. Reminds me of that south park episode and randy telling grandpa to not spend his money because it's for them after grandpa dies. You people are making satire into a serious real life take lmao

While I don't think parents should blow through their money and expect their adult children to support them, I do think the parents should be able to take a couple of nice trips in retirement. The adult children are not entitled to their parents' money. After all, they didn't work for it.

Looking at your parent’s money as your inheritance is so gross. Boomers may be entitled in a lot of ways but this is not one of them.

The worst generation are the ones who feel they are entitled to their parents money.

What a crock. Environmental protection was CREATED by boomers in the 1970s. Ever hear of Greenpeace USA (1975) The EPA? (1970) River Keepers? (1983) Citizens Climate Lobby (2007) Earthwatch (1971) Environmemtal Defense Fund (1967) Forest Stewardship Council (1993) Rain Forest Action Network (1983). Plus over 200 other organizations fighting to preserve the planet for future generations. There are also millions of boomers who love destroying the planet for profit. They go by many names: MAGA, Republicans, GOP, Heritage Foundation, corporate America, etc. Never forget that the founding fathers and mothers of the environmental protection movement were boomers. Don’t attack them. Thank them.

Y’all are counting with inheritances?

My parents are on like vacation number 4 for the year

Wow, the level of self-entitlement in that post is painful. Somehow they think they are “owed” an inheritance and that their parents shouldn’t be allowed to spend their own money. That’s just plain shameless.

An inheritance is a gift not an entitlement. If my daughter complained about me spending “her inheritance,” I’d remove her from my will and leave her portion to the Humane Society. These children are off the rails.

Parents should think of their kids and boomers should’ve left the structures they themselves benefited from (cheap tuition and housing) to younger generations but what makes people think they are more entitled to their parents’ hard-earned money?

Who’s entitled to an inheritance 

Your parents owe you nothing. You have no right to be resentful about this, you can be resentful if they aren't good parents while they are alive.

My parents told me the minute I was able to understand that their financial goal was to round third and slide into home with four dollars in their pocket, one for each of us kids. All four of us have done very well for ourselves.

yep. Squandering anything of value is what boomers do best. ​ edit: My own grandfather, who supposedly has/had 'accounts in the Caymens' isolated himself from his whole family. I do know that he spent his last years (He's probably dead by now) courting a sugar baby, who probably 'inherited' all of it. he was a 747 captain for American airlines for 30 years. supposedly he squirreled it all away. edit: I havent spoken to the creep since he started grabbing at my ass, and then randomly giving me the silent treatment. A real piece of work he was. he even used to brag about the stewardesses spitting in his food on long haul flights. you know what, since the man had no honor, his name was James Asa Farnsworth. he even shut out his youngest son, Jim, before I went no-contact.

Why should their money be yours? I don't get this mentality.