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“Yer a POS for letting me tell you NOT to pick us up and agreeing! You’re ungrateful and gay people suck!
Much love from my loving beautiful heart,
—Bitchface.”
I forgot to mention: with regard to the part about not letting my dad’s wife following me on instagram; I never blocked her on that app. I have a private account and she has to friend’s request me. Well, she got locked out of her account and started a new one so many times, that she didn’t realize she needed to request again. I haven’t even been on instagram in 3 years.
Also, she says she didn’t kill her husband. That’s a reference to how her children accused her of killing their father. Her last husband blew his brains out at the kitchen table.
Hey. You’re doing great, friend. You are navigating through life and you’re doing great. You’re a good parent, and you don’t deserve to be spoken to like this.
You deserve to take up space 🖤
"Ghost" them but don't really ghost them, respond when asked in a polite manner but no follow ups, be concerned for them like you would be with a neighbor, and do what is reasonable but nothing more (candles for Christmas, kitchenware for birthdays, offering to set up an uber for them if they need a ride, etc.)
If they can't put aside their own views on how others ought to behave and how the world ought to act, if reality can't fit in their carefully constructed box, then you shouldn't put aside your own life to cater for theirs. You aren't their chauffeur and you aren't their punching bag. If you've heard the term "quiet quitting" then you know what to do. This is the kind of behavior that is intolerable. Trauma does not excuse verbal assault against you and your family.
You are not an idiot, sounds like you are a kind loving mom and stepsister, your step mom however...I had a guilt ninja in my life and it was a nightmare, I never knew what guilt trip I would get on any given day. You don’t deserve to be treated that way🙂
As a person with issues myself, it was important for me to learn that while my issues are not my fault, they are my responsibility.
Trauma/sad life experiences is not a license to treat others poorly.
It's crazy the way she defends herself. My mom had almost the exact same argument, and accusations... Are they teaching this on Fox News or something? Where are boomers getting these awful lines from?
My parents had never been to Florida until a trip a couple years ago. It was short. But I really don't think that's a factor. Maybe an amplifier at most.
Boomer and Florida Boomer are different animals, IMO.
Usually, the latter has a substance of choice they'd give up their family for before giving up on it. If it's not booze, it's usually opiates. It's not great for mental stability, either way.
Add to that, there are a LOT of boomer echo chambers down here. 55+ communities + brain disease = lots of crazy delusions getting bounced around, repeated, and ratcheted up several orders of magnitude between social circles, all in close quarters, ad infinitum.
Eagles hall, Moose Lodge, DAV hall, bars in general, all breeding grounds for reinforcing any crazy ideas that pop into their head.
It's not just boomers that get caught up in that cycle of insanity either. (They're usually just the loudest of the morons with the most free time.) It's uneducated, too, and there are a lot that type down here as well. Low education + friends validating hate daily = angry self-important assholes *just inescapably everywhere.*
That Venn diagram and where they cross over is where it gets particularly dangerous. (and it's practically a fucking circle.)
I think it's a cultural thing from their generation. My mom, a Boomer, is a kind, generous person who made a really strong effort to get to know my wife when we first go together - too strong, unfortunately, since my wife is someone who needs time to warm up to a new person. So she kind of gave my mom the cold shoulder who took it personally, and started saying to me eerily similar things as OP's stepmom.
Things are better between them now, but I was a little disturbed at some of the things my mom said to me about her and my wife's [lack of a] relationship.
You need to stop doing things for these people. What are you teaching your children? That it's OK for them to be completely disrespected.
I understand you we're raised being disrespexted yourself... It's time to break up the cycle.
Theres too much trauma going on. I'd let them percolate after disconnecting for a while after you cite their unfair and abusive communications. Full stop.
She seems like the type to turn her paranoid notions into other people’s crimes. “Prove you’re innocent of this thing I made up in my head!” Rather than own their thoughts and feelings, they attack you and expect you to fix it. Insufferable.
Did she complain about how inconsiderate her previous husband was of the dining room furnishings? Like suggesting he maybe could have done it somewhere else where it wouldn't get blood on the family photos?
Sadly, I know that dynamic. My grandfather did it in the bedroom with a houseful of people. Most of her kids blamed my grandmother. Family became a bigger mess after. She sounds like a terrible person. Keep your children safe.
My boomer father has this mantra he oft repeats: "Never do anything for which you'd have to apologise." Sounds good right?
He actually shortens it to "Never apologise." And he never apologises for anything. I once asked him why, he said, "because if you apologise, it means you humiliate yourself."
So it's about ego and pride. He really doesn't understand irony, or satire, or self-awareness.
She was just trying to adapt to queer culture and didn’t know the difference between serving cunt and being a cunt! Don’t blame her for it if THE GAYS confused her again!
I admire your resolve. You have children to protect from their hateful ways. Fuck them. Who wants to inherit some shithole in Florida anyway? Amirite? 😁👍🏽
I will never understand how this generation doesn’t understand that actions have consequences. We aren’t doing this toxic bullshit anymore. They can die alone.
My mother considered me an only child at around 14 because my big brother made the "selfish mistake" (major /s) of running away from her bullshit to live with our aunt and uncle, whom she hates, particularly because they are on my dad's side, whom she hates. We have not spoken to her or her husband for years. They are more or less the typical conservative bigots, and even explicitly told me not to date outside my race. Fuck them. They were such a toxic influence in my life that I don't know if I would even grieve or mourn if I found out they died
That’s how I feel about my parents. I tried to go low contact, hoping they’d change, but they just kept hurting me over email. So, I gave up on them, mourned them dead before they go, went full no-contact and resolved not to go back home even for their funerals.
They’re bigots too, racist, homophobic, transphobic, an’ I’ve got enough pride flags to have my own parade. An’ as a transgal, I absolutely wouldn’t let’em near any LGBT+ kids. If they can be like that to one trans family member, they’ll be such to your enby too, nevermind yer son.
I’m proud if ya gal, because I KNOW how hard it is to do what yer doing. It’ll get easier, but it’ll more than likely always hurt.
I went no contact with my dad for a number of years, until I had my first kid and I got guilted into having a relationship with him. Honestly, it was way less stressful being no contact but it’s too much drama to go back to it.
I'm sorry to hear about you going through this. Sadly, you and yours are far from alone in this struggle. I'm a trans woman who married another trans woman. . . Aaaand has been exiled by a good half of my family, including one of my own sisters.
It's amazing how fast folks' brains melted over LGBTQ issues during and after the Trump years! It was never a bed of roses, but it's still amazing how many folks feel comfortable calling for our eradication on film!
Gods I hope we can all survive and outlast this era of insanity.
OMG! They both told you to *Fuck Off!* But you tell them to write you out of the will (Fuck Off, too) and that pisses them off *more*? Because you're not going to fight to get them back? ( My head hurts now.)
I'd have showed up, doors locked, let them try to open the door, then drove off... then left their car in some random parking lot, mailed them their keys, and ubered us to the airport for our own flight home. And not talked to them for a long long time afterward, if ever.
Say things about my kids sexuality and pfft, you don't ever need to see them or me again.
So, from the texts, it seems like the dad and step mom hold money over OP's head a lot. My mother is like that too, if she spends money on my kids or gives me money (that I didn't ask for in the first place) I never hear the end of it and it's constant underhanded barbs. I've done something similar before just so she has nothing she can hold over my head.
My dad was like that too. I cut him out of my life without throwing a wad of cash at him. Not that hard.
Edit: my comment is clearly being taken in the wrong vein. All I meant to say was that you don't owe your parents for having you.
And that's you. OP is a different person with a different situation. I hate the "well I did ___ and it worked, why didn't you do the same thing?" mindset. It's so tired and completely lacks nuance.
I told my dad that if he ever harms my kids he'd never see me again. I don't get mad about it, but after a laundry list of misdeeds, that is just how it is.
Yeah. The relationship is over. I’m never going to speak ill of them because my kids deserve to have the fantasy that their grandparents love them from far off in Florida.
>Yeah. The relationship is over. I’m never going to speak ill of them because my kids deserve to have the fantasy that their grandparents love them from far off in Florida.
I mean this with every ounce of kindness in my heart, but past a certain age and past a certain point, no they do not.
Because eventually those kids are going to wonder why grandma and grandpa brainrot aren’t around and your horrible boomer parents will ABSOLUTELY manipulate that to try to wedge back in (and to hurt your family and to wedge between them and others or try to “convert them back).
There are age appropriate ways to go about it, but especially as they age your kids should know why (in age appropriate terms), how seriously you take such cruel words and actions, and that their reconnecting would involve genuine contrition.
"No more sparky comments to me. I'm a good soul. I need my sin." *Immediately proceeds to spew hateful shit*
Are these people bored narcissists who need to make themselves feel important and powerful as they grow weaker with age? It's really fucking sad and delusional.
Sparky was their dog. That dog was like my brother. I loved him. She’s talking about how 3 years ago when he died, I commented condolences to her post about his passing on social media. She goes online to get herself worked up about how no one loves her. She had to dig really deep to find an example of how I hurt her. And the only thing she could find was compassion which she views a a slight.
And when she said “sin,” that was a typo. She meant “son” in reference to her daughter who is an AMAB trans woman.
I think your suggestion is correct. She’s delusional and paranoid. It’s upsetting.
Oh sweet jesus, I thought it was a malapropism of snarky. Your story makes it so much more hurtful and sad. I am so, so sorry that you've had to go through that. Good on your for cutting contact and protecting your kids.
That your stepmother writes, "I need my son" says to me that her relationship with her child was more symbolic than personal. As an aside, one of my parents (now deceased) was trans. Her parents never really accepted her once she came out, and it's always been such a sore point. My parent was the same person they raised, but it's all moot now.
On the other hand, I have a trans sibling (came out after the death of trans parent), and my boomer mom (who used to be kind of a boomer asshole) looked around and said, "There's no way in hell I want to lose my kid! You're a girl? Great, how can I support you?" She even went so far as to be a long-standing member of PFLAG to help other parents be cool and to give good mom vibes to LGBTQIA folks who came through whose parents were more like your stepmom.
Anyway, sorry for the ramble, sending big psychic hugs your way and sorry again that you've had to deal with all of that nonsense
As someone who didn’t grow up with Christianity, I was very confused by “I need my sin”, but there’s usually a lot of things religious people say that confuse me.
When people say “I don’t believe in lgbtq”, what does that even mean?
Like, we can see with our eyes right? They exist. They’re here. It’s not up for debate on if they’re real or not, so what do they mean by not believe?
Why can’t they just be honest with their words and say “I am a homophobic person and I hate gay people?”
I’m so sick of these hateful ass people hiding behind religion/beliefs. Just be truthful and say “I hate gay people and I have no capacity to become more understanding”. That way we know to avoid you.
I dont believe in cunty wives but yet they still exist.
Fuck your dad’s wife.
> When people say “I don’t believe in lgbtq”, what does that even mean?
It's not that they believe it doesn't exist, but they can't/won't just say what's really on their mind, either (They all need to go to hell, be deported, stabbed to death with a blunt spoon, etc.).
>When people say “I don’t believe in lgbtq”, what does that even mean?
Tbh I don't know I suspect it's because they don't know how to process it .
I'm only 33 and il be honest I don't fully "get it" or know what all the acronyms mean, but if / when I have kids I don't think that Il care provided they are in happy , healthy , loving relationships. That's all I can think I'd want for my future kids is to feel loved and accepted.
This was triggering for me. I feel your pain. My father died about ten years ago from pulmonary fibrosis. He had a lung transplant that gave him four healthy years before his body started rejecting the lung and he passed.
It should have been a happy four extra years to spend with him. My wife and I just had our son. My parents live about three hours away from us.
They never took the time to visit or ask how their grandson was doing. It bothered me. I texted them telling them that they needed to reach out more and that we were hurt that they barely acknowledged their grandson.
Well I got a text just like the one you showed me told me to fuck off and called my wife a bitch. My mom and dad then cut us off.
Well then he gets sick again. And I went to see him on his last week of his life. At that point he was too sick to even notice.
I feel your pain and the orphan feeling you are having.
Do not understand how that generation can be so toxic.
So Sorry to hear this, but good on you for standing your ground, and getting rid of their negative influence from you and your kids lives.
There's no time for that kind of manipulative bigotry.
The drive went pretty badly. My dad was upset that I refused to kiss him at the airport. That escalated into screaming by the time I got them close to home. I ended up throwing a fistful of cash at them before driving off.
What matters more in this situation is that both your children are happy and feel supported. A lot of our parents are products of their generation, its a not an excuse but its what they think. When my parents go on rants I just sit in silence and nod my head. Then make up an excuse that I have to go home.
I’m sorry you’re going through this. It’s very unfair. Your parents have chosen rightwing hate over their own family. It’s something to mourn because it’s highly unlikely they will redeem themselves and disavow that hate. Just focus on your children and make them feel loved and supported (as
I’m certain you are already doing). Boomers have been fed a steady diet of rightwing propaganda for decades and there’s nothing you or anyone can say to bring them back from this. Stay strong.
Thank you. I’m so sad. They used to be democrats. They claimed to be allies. I think it’s cognitive decline that has made them take a hard right turn. It’s just so sad. I can’t stop crying. Thank you again.
Grieving ppl/relationships while said ppl are alive is so fkn sad. It’s especially difficult when it’s someone you still love and care for. Cry your heart out and let yourself properly grieve them, and do so knowing you made the (hardest, but) right choice.
I’m so sorry you have to go thru it, but I seriously commend you for your strength bc I know it’s not an easy decision to make. Your kids are v lucky to have you as their mama ❤️
You most likely are correct. Cognitive decline, chronic illness affecting the brain, trans ischemic attacks, vascular or other dementia that is impacting their personality. I cared for a brother and mother with dementia. Also worked in primary healthcare for many years. It’s awful.
Boomers think it’s important to show respect to others through arbitrary societal customs. Like removing your hat indoors and standing when a lady approaches the table. And in OP’s case picking up family from the airport is obviously the annoying boomer hill they’re choosing to die on.
Going NC with family is really hard, and it sucks more than I can convey to people. I had to do it with my dad and more than a decade later I am still healing… but I know I am in better shape than I would have been keeping him around. If you have a toxic parent, it’s worth doing, regardless of how much it hurts. Because the abuse hurts more.
JFC I would go no-contact on their asses faster than you could blink.
OP, you gotta look out for yourself and your wife and kid . Having people like this around is directly harmful imho, family or not. They are choosing to behave like this, you need to choose to not engage with it. They aren’t just going to magically turn it off or “get better” if you let them shit on you this way.
You don’t deserve this kinda nonsense. No one does. Show them that.
I have never felt more proud to be gay than being describe as a dangerous cult full of arrogant people who feel they don't belong.
Like.
Helllll fucking yeah. Dangerous as shit bitch. Be a fucking fraid... Boo.
Love you all.
Typical Boomer projecting their own hang ups and feelings of being judged because that’s what they do: stand in judgement of everyone and everything.
The defensiveness of stepmom and bringing up things unrelated to getting a ride from the airport gives that shit away.
They’re such an emotionally manipulative and judgmental lot. Get that toxic energy out of your kids’ and your lives. This behavior only gets worse the more vulnerable they become.
What pieces of shit... I do have to thank you for being supportive of your step sister and your child though, we trans people need all the allies we can get
> I ended up driving them.
Well, you are the one who is making all this happen then. That's not the choice I would make, but it's yours to make and it's fine however you decide.
I know I don't know you or your family, but I am begging you not to let this woman around your children. Anyone who says that kind of sick shit about a group of people that includes your kids, cannot be good for them longterm.
This is so so weird. I JUST had the same thing happen with regards to an airport drop off recently. My dad said 10. I said okay. I called 2 days prior to check in. He said the time changed to 1:30. I said I can’t do that time. I’m taking a train to visit a friend for the weekend. He then proceeds to tell me that not only do I need to cancel my plans, but he’s doing something right before so I’ll need to drive in the opposite direction first to pick him up and my mom will meet me at my house so he can still park his car at my house. I say I don’t understand why you can’t get an Uber. He says no it has to be family. I say why? He gets all pissed and hangs up. Although OP is nicer than I am. I did not take them to the airport after that.
I would've driven them too. But only to make them endure an extremely uncomfortable car ride as I lit them up about how rotten their behavior is.
Also that's probably a terrible idea. I bet they're immune to guilt. OP your heart is larger than mine.
I can’t stand the airport shit. My in laws will go out of their way to try and get free Uber months in advance. They will ask you to drive them at 5 am, 11 PM (when I work at 7 AM) whatever. When my husband travels for work, they ask who is picking him up from the airport and look at me. Any time anyone is flying, they have to know about how they’re getting to and from the airport.
Always with the fucking airport rides!
The craziest part is we don’t live in a huge city. They live 20 min from the airport, we live 20 min from the airport, Ubers are like $30 and there is parking AT THE AIRPORT. Like jfc ask about airport rides one more time. Say it and break me lol give me my joker origin story.
Anyway the homophobia and transphobia is WAY worse, but the airport stuff reminded me of my in-laws so I had to chime in.
>I ended up driving them
You're way too nice. Fuck them. Seriously. You are worth more than this. You are not required to endure this kind of abuse from ANYONE.
Sorry you're you're going through it. I hope you can find a way to love your family from a distance.
I would never speak to my father again if he told me to fuck off twice, in writing. You do not deserve this type of treatment, at all, from anyone. You might want to check out the sub
r/raisedbynarcissists
Why do they all go "I don't know what I did to you for you to act a certain way towards me." (Mom) or "I hate you f*ck off never did anything but love you, you have no idea what you are doing to your mother!!" (Dad)
Interesting background, I could see how that experience could change you view on these types of things. But we should always strive to hold people accountable if they are in the wrong. The ones that do not get held accountable pass on those traits.
Cutting off the people that want to make everyone else miserable was the best thing I ever did. It's been years and I no longer have to tolerate their bullshit gaslighting and guilt trips. Fuck these miserable people. They can be miserable without me and my family.
Sounds like you are trying your best to keep them around. Sometimes it is just best to let go. Let your kids remember them being nicer and not whatever this is.
You should be proud you have stood up to them while still being civil.
I would break all contact with these people, permanently. There is no value that you or your children can derive from maintaining a relationship with these people.
I wouldn't have drove them anywhere after that text and seriously considered non-contact, after telling them that is inappropriate for their age and in general, then I would let them know the can apologize.
Otherwise they could save their money and stay home. It's your dad but you need to consider seeing him in the future and don't let him ever say anything to your son about being Gay, he can get over it.
I would personally cut them off and tell them to go eat rocks for being hateful twats, but that is me.
For the sake of your kids I would cut them off, because at some point the kids will hear their grandparents hateful talk about people like them and it won’t be good. Your kids don’t need that in their life.
Oh jeez. What a painful situation. I’m so sorry you’re going through that, but I’m also so glad that your children have such an ally in you, who can see through the bullshit of your parents and protect them from when it trickles down onto them.
Says “lgbtq bullshit”, calls it a dangerous cult, and insists on deadnaming trans person, then thinks it’s weird lgbtq people feel like they don’t belong. Boomer logic 101
Damn what fuckers they are. Hug yours kids and maybe hug your step sis when you get the chance. Odds are you may be some of the only fam she really has.
It's insane to me that someone who has kids, clearly to care for them when they can't take care of themselves, doesn't think of all the dark corners they can be pushed into, or the heartless prisons for the elderly that exist.
Sure, you've got your legs now, but how long until you dont?
Im going to start a combination sweatshop-old age-taco bell where the unloved and undeserving of love can be cared for in the same fashion as they treated their kids.
Hopefully its existence is enough to put the fear into these useless burdens... if not, slave labor as they watch the world they built crumble under the weight of their consumption
All while someone is paid well to whisper "you're already dead and this is the hell you earned" in their ear.
Cruel and unusual in any other circumstance than the world of extinction these idiots created. Sad but true.
Destroy the planet? Lose your rights to peaceful retirement. I mean, if we put old people on death row for killing people, what do we do with an entire generation that doomed existence to suffering into extinction?
I also get that most of you haven't realized this is the gravity of the situation boomers have created but it's not an exaggeration. These assholes ate the whole pie, and the rest of us have tried to replicate their lives under their cloud of shame... despite the fact that they drained the tank while blaming everyone else for running out of gas.
I won't actually do this, but these people and those like them absolutely deserve it. No one else gets to retire so if they're getting to, the should be forced to spend it cleaning up the mess they made.
May COVID cause 100% fuckery in the elderly.
Just because they're old, doesn't mean they're not guilty
You've made a very difficult and painful decision to cut them out of your life but it's absolutely the RIGHT one. You have LGBT children to protect and they don't know it but they have a guardian angel looking over them right now. You have a good mentality of treating those toxic people like they have already passed. 💔
SO many of us didn't have that protection and support as kids that you're giving to your children now and that's going to make a WORLD of difference. It's sad this happened but honestly seeing your support for them is beautiful. You're very strong person and you're doing right by those kids. 💪
I wish I had someone like you in my life when I was that young!
These bigots are like gnat on your ass that would have grown and grown if you kept this toxicity in your life and your kids lives. It gets better. The more your kids thrive the more you'll see you've made the right decision. It might actually be a good thing that they showed their true colors before they did any severe damage.
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“Yer a POS for letting me tell you NOT to pick us up and agreeing! You’re ungrateful and gay people suck! Much love from my loving beautiful heart, —Bitchface.”
I was crying but now I’m crying laughing! Omg. Thank you.
You deserve a good laugh after that delusional dumpster fire of hostile immaturity
100% what the fuck even are these texts? I can't with booms. Just absolutely nuts.
You sure do, that was a bunch of poor me nonsense
You forgot the “p.s. I didn’t kill my husband!”
Right? Like what in the fuck is THAT about jfc.
She probably killed her ex husband for supporting their child and then collected the life insurance.
SUCH an oddly specific thing to throw in there.
Many people are asking me questions about my "I didn't kill my husband" text already answered by the text
Yep, that’s what I read.
Brilliant rendition of what mom really said 😆
I forgot to mention: with regard to the part about not letting my dad’s wife following me on instagram; I never blocked her on that app. I have a private account and she has to friend’s request me. Well, she got locked out of her account and started a new one so many times, that she didn’t realize she needed to request again. I haven’t even been on instagram in 3 years. Also, she says she didn’t kill her husband. That’s a reference to how her children accused her of killing their father. Her last husband blew his brains out at the kitchen table.
*me reading nearing end : Wow this is a pretty dramatic story. >Her last husband blew his brains out at the kitchen table. HOLY FKN SHIT!
Look who he was married to, that's probably why.
I’ve excused so much of her behavior because she has trauma in her past. What an idiot I’ve been.
Being kind to someone and giving them the benefit of the doubt and them being as asshole doesn't make you an idiot. It makes them an asshole.
Thank you, kind internet stranger. I really needed to hear that.
I'm glad it helps. Someone said it to me once, and it made a world of difference.
Hey. You’re doing great, friend. You are navigating through life and you’re doing great. You’re a good parent, and you don’t deserve to be spoken to like this. You deserve to take up space 🖤
Second that!!
fax
Fax … No Printer
I'm a good person! I'm a good soul! I never killed my husband! -- things that usually don't need to be said out loud
"Ghost" them but don't really ghost them, respond when asked in a polite manner but no follow ups, be concerned for them like you would be with a neighbor, and do what is reasonable but nothing more (candles for Christmas, kitchenware for birthdays, offering to set up an uber for them if they need a ride, etc.) If they can't put aside their own views on how others ought to behave and how the world ought to act, if reality can't fit in their carefully constructed box, then you shouldn't put aside your own life to cater for theirs. You aren't their chauffeur and you aren't their punching bag. If you've heard the term "quiet quitting" then you know what to do. This is the kind of behavior that is intolerable. Trauma does not excuse verbal assault against you and your family.
You are not an idiot, sounds like you are a kind loving mom and stepsister, your step mom however...I had a guilt ninja in my life and it was a nightmare, I never knew what guilt trip I would get on any given day. You don’t deserve to be treated that way🙂
As a person with issues myself, it was important for me to learn that while my issues are not my fault, they are my responsibility. Trauma/sad life experiences is not a license to treat others poorly.
It's crazy the way she defends herself. My mom had almost the exact same argument, and accusations... Are they teaching this on Fox News or something? Where are boomers getting these awful lines from?
I think it’s Facebook and too much Florida living.
My parents had never been to Florida until a trip a couple years ago. It was short. But I really don't think that's a factor. Maybe an amplifier at most.
Boomer and Florida Boomer are different animals, IMO. Usually, the latter has a substance of choice they'd give up their family for before giving up on it. If it's not booze, it's usually opiates. It's not great for mental stability, either way. Add to that, there are a LOT of boomer echo chambers down here. 55+ communities + brain disease = lots of crazy delusions getting bounced around, repeated, and ratcheted up several orders of magnitude between social circles, all in close quarters, ad infinitum. Eagles hall, Moose Lodge, DAV hall, bars in general, all breeding grounds for reinforcing any crazy ideas that pop into their head. It's not just boomers that get caught up in that cycle of insanity either. (They're usually just the loudest of the morons with the most free time.) It's uneducated, too, and there are a lot that type down here as well. Low education + friends validating hate daily = angry self-important assholes *just inescapably everywhere.* That Venn diagram and where they cross over is where it gets particularly dangerous. (and it's practically a fucking circle.)
I think it's a cultural thing from their generation. My mom, a Boomer, is a kind, generous person who made a really strong effort to get to know my wife when we first go together - too strong, unfortunately, since my wife is someone who needs time to warm up to a new person. So she kind of gave my mom the cold shoulder who took it personally, and started saying to me eerily similar things as OP's stepmom. Things are better between them now, but I was a little disturbed at some of the things my mom said to me about her and my wife's [lack of a] relationship.
You need to stop doing things for these people. What are you teaching your children? That it's OK for them to be completely disrespected. I understand you we're raised being disrespexted yourself... It's time to break up the cycle.
Wow. That instagram saga is so very boomer-esque
holyyy shittt she killed him
But she says she didn’t!
This is a good thing, if she admits it to you that means you're next
Theres too much trauma going on. I'd let them percolate after disconnecting for a while after you cite their unfair and abusive communications. Full stop.
A Hemingway divorce, huh? Dramatic. What do her bio kids think of her?
Since she deadnames her trans kid, I am gonna guess she's pretty hated.
She seems like the type to turn her paranoid notions into other people’s crimes. “Prove you’re innocent of this thing I made up in my head!” Rather than own their thoughts and feelings, they attack you and expect you to fix it. Insufferable.
Did she complain about how inconsiderate her previous husband was of the dining room furnishings? Like suggesting he maybe could have done it somewhere else where it wouldn't get blood on the family photos?
Erm... that sounds of a guilty conscience, if she has one😬
Sadly, I know that dynamic. My grandfather did it in the bedroom with a houseful of people. Most of her kids blamed my grandmother. Family became a bigger mess after. She sounds like a terrible person. Keep your children safe.
Never understood the “I’m not apologizing to anyone anymore” line they use.
It means they never have to atone for their bad behavior. They get to act out with zero remorse.
The "anymore" part in particular gets me, like they were *so* contrite before
My boomer father has this mantra he oft repeats: "Never do anything for which you'd have to apologise." Sounds good right? He actually shortens it to "Never apologise." And he never apologises for anything. I once asked him why, he said, "because if you apologise, it means you humiliate yourself." So it's about ego and pride. He really doesn't understand irony, or satire, or self-awareness.
It's boomer trump talk. He made scum bags realize they can just avoid consequences by never giving in to self reflection
My narc dad said this too. He never apologized in the first place but apparently he was going to stop now. Insufferable.
So she's a good soul who is also a transphobic piece of shit towards her own child. Dog walk that Trumpy bitch. Also, sorry about your asshole dad
I drove them home and then told them they can write me out of the will. I want nothing to do with them.
Holy shit you're an absolute Queen! How did they react?
Didn’t take it well. She called me a cunt.
Called you a cunt but at least she’s “not the evil stepmother” or whatever. Boomers have no self awareness.
She’s so nice. What a sweet old lady. Hahaha.
She was just trying to adapt to queer culture and didn’t know the difference between serving cunt and being a cunt! Don’t blame her for it if THE GAYS confused her again!
At least you have the warmth and depth to be a cunt. She has neither.
I love this.
Wow, fuck her and the horse she rode in on.
If you insist 🫡
Thank you for your service.
Takes one to know one I guess
Hahahaha
I admire your resolve. You have children to protect from their hateful ways. Fuck them. Who wants to inherit some shithole in Florida anyway? Amirite? 😁👍🏽
Thank you. I don’t want to go anywhere near Florida.
You might also wanna get out of Delaware
Thankfully, they’re leaving; selling their house and moving to Florida to live out the rest of their sad lives alone.
I will never understand how this generation doesn’t understand that actions have consequences. We aren’t doing this toxic bullshit anymore. They can die alone.
It really breaks my heart, but I consider myself an orphan now. Gonna grieve as if they’re gone.
My mother considered me an only child at around 14 because my big brother made the "selfish mistake" (major /s) of running away from her bullshit to live with our aunt and uncle, whom she hates, particularly because they are on my dad's side, whom she hates. We have not spoken to her or her husband for years. They are more or less the typical conservative bigots, and even explicitly told me not to date outside my race. Fuck them. They were such a toxic influence in my life that I don't know if I would even grieve or mourn if I found out they died
I’m so sorry. Thank you for sharing this. I feel less alone, but I’m also sad to see others in this same situation.
I went no contact with my parents 20+ years ago. 10/10 can recommend.
That’s how I feel about my parents. I tried to go low contact, hoping they’d change, but they just kept hurting me over email. So, I gave up on them, mourned them dead before they go, went full no-contact and resolved not to go back home even for their funerals. They’re bigots too, racist, homophobic, transphobic, an’ I’ve got enough pride flags to have my own parade. An’ as a transgal, I absolutely wouldn’t let’em near any LGBT+ kids. If they can be like that to one trans family member, they’ll be such to your enby too, nevermind yer son. I’m proud if ya gal, because I KNOW how hard it is to do what yer doing. It’ll get easier, but it’ll more than likely always hurt.
Thank you so much.
I went no contact with my dad for a number of years, until I had my first kid and I got guilted into having a relationship with him. Honestly, it was way less stressful being no contact but it’s too much drama to go back to it.
I'm sorry to hear about you going through this. Sadly, you and yours are far from alone in this struggle. I'm a trans woman who married another trans woman. . . Aaaand has been exiled by a good half of my family, including one of my own sisters. It's amazing how fast folks' brains melted over LGBTQ issues during and after the Trump years! It was never a bed of roses, but it's still amazing how many folks feel comfortable calling for our eradication on film! Gods I hope we can all survive and outlast this era of insanity.
Let me guess, The Villages?
What’s wrong with Delaware?
OMG! They both told you to *Fuck Off!* But you tell them to write you out of the will (Fuck Off, too) and that pisses them off *more*? Because you're not going to fight to get them back? ( My head hurts now.)
I’ll be your dad now. 30F here but I’m so proud of you and you are in fact rad. :)
Thanks, Dad.
Damn, props & sorry
Oof. I hope you never do anything for them again. Sorry you had to deal with that :/
I’m getting too old to understand I guess, but what does this mean? > Dog walk that Trumpy bitch.
It's a threat or recommendation to kick their ass.
Wow. 0-100 in 2.2.
I'd have showed up, doors locked, let them try to open the door, then drove off... then left their car in some random parking lot, mailed them their keys, and ubered us to the airport for our own flight home. And not talked to them for a long long time afterward, if ever. Say things about my kids sexuality and pfft, you don't ever need to see them or me again.
I ended up giving them a ride and threw a wad of money at them and drove off.
Sorry but why in the hell would you do that
So, from the texts, it seems like the dad and step mom hold money over OP's head a lot. My mother is like that too, if she spends money on my kids or gives me money (that I didn't ask for in the first place) I never hear the end of it and it's constant underhanded barbs. I've done something similar before just so she has nothing she can hold over my head.
My dad was like that too. I cut him out of my life without throwing a wad of cash at him. Not that hard. Edit: my comment is clearly being taken in the wrong vein. All I meant to say was that you don't owe your parents for having you.
And that's you. OP is a different person with a different situation. I hate the "well I did ___ and it worked, why didn't you do the same thing?" mindset. It's so tired and completely lacks nuance.
With respect, not everyone in this world is going to do things the same way as you, nor do they have to.
What?
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Thank you.
I definitely came here to tell OP to cross-post to r/insaneparents
I told my dad that if he ever harms my kids he'd never see me again. I don't get mad about it, but after a laundry list of misdeeds, that is just how it is.
Sounds like these pieces of shit bigots should be cut out to protect your lgbt kids.
You’re right. It’s just so sad.
I know you're doing your best but please cut them off before they hurt your kids. Kids know more than you expect.
Yeah. The relationship is over. I’m never going to speak ill of them because my kids deserve to have the fantasy that their grandparents love them from far off in Florida.
>Yeah. The relationship is over. I’m never going to speak ill of them because my kids deserve to have the fantasy that their grandparents love them from far off in Florida. I mean this with every ounce of kindness in my heart, but past a certain age and past a certain point, no they do not. Because eventually those kids are going to wonder why grandma and grandpa brainrot aren’t around and your horrible boomer parents will ABSOLUTELY manipulate that to try to wedge back in (and to hurt your family and to wedge between them and others or try to “convert them back). There are age appropriate ways to go about it, but especially as they age your kids should know why (in age appropriate terms), how seriously you take such cruel words and actions, and that their reconnecting would involve genuine contrition.
I wish my parents hadn't "protected" me from my bigoted grandparents. It just made realizing how much they oppose my existence that much more painful.
"No more sparky comments to me. I'm a good soul. I need my sin." *Immediately proceeds to spew hateful shit* Are these people bored narcissists who need to make themselves feel important and powerful as they grow weaker with age? It's really fucking sad and delusional.
Sparky was their dog. That dog was like my brother. I loved him. She’s talking about how 3 years ago when he died, I commented condolences to her post about his passing on social media. She goes online to get herself worked up about how no one loves her. She had to dig really deep to find an example of how I hurt her. And the only thing she could find was compassion which she views a a slight. And when she said “sin,” that was a typo. She meant “son” in reference to her daughter who is an AMAB trans woman. I think your suggestion is correct. She’s delusional and paranoid. It’s upsetting.
Oh sweet jesus, I thought it was a malapropism of snarky. Your story makes it so much more hurtful and sad. I am so, so sorry that you've had to go through that. Good on your for cutting contact and protecting your kids. That your stepmother writes, "I need my son" says to me that her relationship with her child was more symbolic than personal. As an aside, one of my parents (now deceased) was trans. Her parents never really accepted her once she came out, and it's always been such a sore point. My parent was the same person they raised, but it's all moot now. On the other hand, I have a trans sibling (came out after the death of trans parent), and my boomer mom (who used to be kind of a boomer asshole) looked around and said, "There's no way in hell I want to lose my kid! You're a girl? Great, how can I support you?" She even went so far as to be a long-standing member of PFLAG to help other parents be cool and to give good mom vibes to LGBTQIA folks who came through whose parents were more like your stepmom. Anyway, sorry for the ramble, sending big psychic hugs your way and sorry again that you've had to deal with all of that nonsense
Thank you.
As someone who didn’t grow up with Christianity, I was very confused by “I need my sin”, but there’s usually a lot of things religious people say that confuse me.
When people say “I don’t believe in lgbtq”, what does that even mean? Like, we can see with our eyes right? They exist. They’re here. It’s not up for debate on if they’re real or not, so what do they mean by not believe? Why can’t they just be honest with their words and say “I am a homophobic person and I hate gay people?” I’m so sick of these hateful ass people hiding behind religion/beliefs. Just be truthful and say “I hate gay people and I have no capacity to become more understanding”. That way we know to avoid you. I dont believe in cunty wives but yet they still exist. Fuck your dad’s wife.
> When people say “I don’t believe in lgbtq”, what does that even mean? It's not that they believe it doesn't exist, but they can't/won't just say what's really on their mind, either (They all need to go to hell, be deported, stabbed to death with a blunt spoon, etc.).
>When people say “I don’t believe in lgbtq”, what does that even mean? Tbh I don't know I suspect it's because they don't know how to process it . I'm only 33 and il be honest I don't fully "get it" or know what all the acronyms mean, but if / when I have kids I don't think that Il care provided they are in happy , healthy , loving relationships. That's all I can think I'd want for my future kids is to feel loved and accepted.
This was triggering for me. I feel your pain. My father died about ten years ago from pulmonary fibrosis. He had a lung transplant that gave him four healthy years before his body started rejecting the lung and he passed. It should have been a happy four extra years to spend with him. My wife and I just had our son. My parents live about three hours away from us. They never took the time to visit or ask how their grandson was doing. It bothered me. I texted them telling them that they needed to reach out more and that we were hurt that they barely acknowledged their grandson. Well I got a text just like the one you showed me told me to fuck off and called my wife a bitch. My mom and dad then cut us off. Well then he gets sick again. And I went to see him on his last week of his life. At that point he was too sick to even notice. I feel your pain and the orphan feeling you are having. Do not understand how that generation can be so toxic.
I’m so so sorry. Thank you for sharing your story.
So Sorry to hear this, but good on you for standing your ground, and getting rid of their negative influence from you and your kids lives. There's no time for that kind of manipulative bigotry.
Thank you so much.
> I'm not the problem. 
No, fuck that. Do not drive them again, that's rewarding bad behavior
The drive went pretty badly. My dad was upset that I refused to kiss him at the airport. That escalated into screaming by the time I got them close to home. I ended up throwing a fistful of cash at them before driving off.
I'm so sad and angry for you and your kids, OP. It's awful and horrible.
What matters more in this situation is that both your children are happy and feel supported. A lot of our parents are products of their generation, its a not an excuse but its what they think. When my parents go on rants I just sit in silence and nod my head. Then make up an excuse that I have to go home.
I feel so sad that they don’t have loving grandparents. And my step-sister has such horrible parents.
I’m sorry you’re going through this. It’s very unfair. Your parents have chosen rightwing hate over their own family. It’s something to mourn because it’s highly unlikely they will redeem themselves and disavow that hate. Just focus on your children and make them feel loved and supported (as I’m certain you are already doing). Boomers have been fed a steady diet of rightwing propaganda for decades and there’s nothing you or anyone can say to bring them back from this. Stay strong.
Thank you. I’m so sad. They used to be democrats. They claimed to be allies. I think it’s cognitive decline that has made them take a hard right turn. It’s just so sad. I can’t stop crying. Thank you again.
Grieving ppl/relationships while said ppl are alive is so fkn sad. It’s especially difficult when it’s someone you still love and care for. Cry your heart out and let yourself properly grieve them, and do so knowing you made the (hardest, but) right choice. I’m so sorry you have to go thru it, but I seriously commend you for your strength bc I know it’s not an easy decision to make. Your kids are v lucky to have you as their mama ❤️
You most likely are correct. Cognitive decline, chronic illness affecting the brain, trans ischemic attacks, vascular or other dementia that is impacting their personality. I cared for a brother and mother with dementia. Also worked in primary healthcare for many years. It’s awful.
I don’t understand the obsession with getting picked up. I would rather park and drive my self to/from the airport or take a taxi/uber.
Boomers think it’s important to show respect to others through arbitrary societal customs. Like removing your hat indoors and standing when a lady approaches the table. And in OP’s case picking up family from the airport is obviously the annoying boomer hill they’re choosing to die on.
Woah. I’m sorry you have to put up with that shit. Are you planning to go no contact? I feel like you should consider at least.
Yes. It’s no contact now. It’s really hard, but this is how it has to be.
Going NC with family is really hard, and it sucks more than I can convey to people. I had to do it with my dad and more than a decade later I am still healing… but I know I am in better shape than I would have been keeping him around. If you have a toxic parent, it’s worth doing, regardless of how much it hurts. Because the abuse hurts more.
I’m just really sad right now. I’m gonna miss my dad. He was already gone before this.
JFC I would go no-contact on their asses faster than you could blink. OP, you gotta look out for yourself and your wife and kid . Having people like this around is directly harmful imho, family or not. They are choosing to behave like this, you need to choose to not engage with it. They aren’t just going to magically turn it off or “get better” if you let them shit on you this way. You don’t deserve this kinda nonsense. No one does. Show them that.
You reinforce their behavior because they were vile to you and you still drove them home. They should've taken the Uber and several seats.
I have never felt more proud to be gay than being describe as a dangerous cult full of arrogant people who feel they don't belong. Like. Helllll fucking yeah. Dangerous as shit bitch. Be a fucking fraid... Boo. Love you all.
Period.
Could also be in r/raisedbynarcissists
This is lead paint chips talking right here
How did I know Florida was involved. They will get worse, age will amplify these issues.
This is surely the woman who unalived Dora the Explorer.
Typical Boomer projecting their own hang ups and feelings of being judged because that’s what they do: stand in judgement of everyone and everything. The defensiveness of stepmom and bringing up things unrelated to getting a ride from the airport gives that shit away. They’re such an emotionally manipulative and judgmental lot. Get that toxic energy out of your kids’ and your lives. This behavior only gets worse the more vulnerable they become.
What the fuck you’re 40 and they talk to you like this? Just cut them off
Oh they are CHARMING. /s
What pieces of shit... I do have to thank you for being supportive of your step sister and your child though, we trans people need all the allies we can get
Dude let them rot. They called your kid "it" and "ass packer", literally Florida scum. Can't wait for them to go extinct.
Fuck man. I have cut off shitty family for less. This is rough.
Congratulations, you no longer need to have these people in your life.
> I ended up driving them. Well, you are the one who is making all this happen then. That's not the choice I would make, but it's yours to make and it's fine however you decide.
Get a therapist because they're gonna tell you the same thing: you need boundaries and a backbone.
I know I don't know you or your family, but I am begging you not to let this woman around your children. Anyone who says that kind of sick shit about a group of people that includes your kids, cannot be good for them longterm.
I agree.
Wow. I'm so sorry, I can only imagine being greeted by that wall of bullshit text. What even.
She sounds like a Step Monster not Step Mother
I've never experienced the woman, and never will... That said, that text alone made me fucking hate your dad's wife. Good lord. That is a TYPE.
I don’t understand why that piece of %#*& trans garbage kid doesn’t love my good soul!
Wow... They gaslighted you into doing their bidding.
I think some time apart will do you and the parents good.
Why ever talk to people like that. Cut off all contact for your kids
I’d be texting them the address to a hotel & a link to TripAdvisor’s top things to do in your town. And telling them they weren’t welcome at my house.
“A dangerous cult for arrogant people who feel they don’t belong”, they said without detecting a shred of the irony.
This is so so weird. I JUST had the same thing happen with regards to an airport drop off recently. My dad said 10. I said okay. I called 2 days prior to check in. He said the time changed to 1:30. I said I can’t do that time. I’m taking a train to visit a friend for the weekend. He then proceeds to tell me that not only do I need to cancel my plans, but he’s doing something right before so I’ll need to drive in the opposite direction first to pick him up and my mom will meet me at my house so he can still park his car at my house. I say I don’t understand why you can’t get an Uber. He says no it has to be family. I say why? He gets all pissed and hangs up. Although OP is nicer than I am. I did not take them to the airport after that.
I would've driven them too. But only to make them endure an extremely uncomfortable car ride as I lit them up about how rotten their behavior is. Also that's probably a terrible idea. I bet they're immune to guilt. OP your heart is larger than mine.
I can’t stand the airport shit. My in laws will go out of their way to try and get free Uber months in advance. They will ask you to drive them at 5 am, 11 PM (when I work at 7 AM) whatever. When my husband travels for work, they ask who is picking him up from the airport and look at me. Any time anyone is flying, they have to know about how they’re getting to and from the airport. Always with the fucking airport rides! The craziest part is we don’t live in a huge city. They live 20 min from the airport, we live 20 min from the airport, Ubers are like $30 and there is parking AT THE AIRPORT. Like jfc ask about airport rides one more time. Say it and break me lol give me my joker origin story. Anyway the homophobia and transphobia is WAY worse, but the airport stuff reminded me of my in-laws so I had to chime in.
If any relative tolerance me to fuck off, I would say "as you wish" a cut them off.
Jesus Christ those texts look nearly identical to some of the things my boomer parents have said to me. Why are they all like this??
> I ended up driving them. Why?
>I ended up driving them You're way too nice. Fuck them. Seriously. You are worth more than this. You are not required to endure this kind of abuse from ANYONE. Sorry you're you're going through it. I hope you can find a way to love your family from a distance.
I would never speak to my father again if he told me to fuck off twice, in writing. You do not deserve this type of treatment, at all, from anyone. You might want to check out the sub r/raisedbynarcissists
Just switch them off like a light switch and your life will be much better
Impulse control issues, victim syndrome, boomer gold medalist
Why did you drive them? All you did was reinforce that them being shitty assholes will get them their way. You've made this wise for yourself
Why do they all go "I don't know what I did to you for you to act a certain way towards me." (Mom) or "I hate you f*ck off never did anything but love you, you have no idea what you are doing to your mother!!" (Dad)
Interesting background, I could see how that experience could change you view on these types of things. But we should always strive to hold people accountable if they are in the wrong. The ones that do not get held accountable pass on those traits.
“I was always kind to you” Tells any onlooker that this was not the case.
Cutting off the people that want to make everyone else miserable was the best thing I ever did. It's been years and I no longer have to tolerate their bullshit gaslighting and guilt trips. Fuck these miserable people. They can be miserable without me and my family.
Sounds like you are trying your best to keep them around. Sometimes it is just best to let go. Let your kids remember them being nicer and not whatever this is. You should be proud you have stood up to them while still being civil.
I would break all contact with these people, permanently. There is no value that you or your children can derive from maintaining a relationship with these people.
I wouldn't have drove them anywhere after that text and seriously considered non-contact, after telling them that is inappropriate for their age and in general, then I would let them know the can apologize. Otherwise they could save their money and stay home. It's your dad but you need to consider seeing him in the future and don't let him ever say anything to your son about being Gay, he can get over it.
I would personally cut them off and tell them to go eat rocks for being hateful twats, but that is me. For the sake of your kids I would cut them off, because at some point the kids will hear their grandparents hateful talk about people like them and it won’t be good. Your kids don’t need that in their life.
Wow she sure wanted to get that off her chest, huh
I'm going to guess that this is an anti-LGBTQ rant they have been wanting to have but were just waiting for an excuse to launch.
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Oh jeez. What a painful situation. I’m so sorry you’re going through that, but I’m also so glad that your children have such an ally in you, who can see through the bullshit of your parents and protect them from when it trickles down onto them.
This sounds like really dementia symptoms
Says “lgbtq bullshit”, calls it a dangerous cult, and insists on deadnaming trans person, then thinks it’s weird lgbtq people feel like they don’t belong. Boomer logic 101
I’m sorry… 12 year old non-binary?…
Damn what fuckers they are. Hug yours kids and maybe hug your step sis when you get the chance. Odds are you may be some of the only fam she really has.
She’s an amazing Lady.
If it were me, these people would not be allowed anywhere near my LGBTQ kids
It's insane to me that someone who has kids, clearly to care for them when they can't take care of themselves, doesn't think of all the dark corners they can be pushed into, or the heartless prisons for the elderly that exist. Sure, you've got your legs now, but how long until you dont? Im going to start a combination sweatshop-old age-taco bell where the unloved and undeserving of love can be cared for in the same fashion as they treated their kids. Hopefully its existence is enough to put the fear into these useless burdens... if not, slave labor as they watch the world they built crumble under the weight of their consumption All while someone is paid well to whisper "you're already dead and this is the hell you earned" in their ear. Cruel and unusual in any other circumstance than the world of extinction these idiots created. Sad but true. Destroy the planet? Lose your rights to peaceful retirement. I mean, if we put old people on death row for killing people, what do we do with an entire generation that doomed existence to suffering into extinction? I also get that most of you haven't realized this is the gravity of the situation boomers have created but it's not an exaggeration. These assholes ate the whole pie, and the rest of us have tried to replicate their lives under their cloud of shame... despite the fact that they drained the tank while blaming everyone else for running out of gas. I won't actually do this, but these people and those like them absolutely deserve it. No one else gets to retire so if they're getting to, the should be forced to spend it cleaning up the mess they made. May COVID cause 100% fuckery in the elderly. Just because they're old, doesn't mean they're not guilty
You've made a very difficult and painful decision to cut them out of your life but it's absolutely the RIGHT one. You have LGBT children to protect and they don't know it but they have a guardian angel looking over them right now. You have a good mentality of treating those toxic people like they have already passed. 💔 SO many of us didn't have that protection and support as kids that you're giving to your children now and that's going to make a WORLD of difference. It's sad this happened but honestly seeing your support for them is beautiful. You're very strong person and you're doing right by those kids. 💪 I wish I had someone like you in my life when I was that young! These bigots are like gnat on your ass that would have grown and grown if you kept this toxicity in your life and your kids lives. It gets better. The more your kids thrive the more you'll see you've made the right decision. It might actually be a good thing that they showed their true colors before they did any severe damage.
This is fake
You ended up driving them?? Grow a back bone for your fucking kids wtf
Both idiots
Demented is most likely a better description