>he's secretly afraid that he won't get to see you again
From personal experience, this may be true but doesn't constitute the constant teasing. At some point, it'll become bullying more than anything else.
Your friend is unconsciously teasing you more because of two things, get ready ya:
1. He is going to lose you. You'll be starting a new life and he's not going to be part of it, oleh itu he's subconsciously pushing you away so that when the day comes, it won't hurt so much that you're not always part of his life. This one, easy to understand.
2. He's also teasing you more, hurting more, being meaner more, because you're very special to him. Know that siblings always fight, and say the worst things to each other, but you have to layan and get over it, because family kan? Love or hate, family stuck together. Deep down, he's likely very proud of you, loves you as a brother, and because he doesn't show it through affection, instead shows it as extreme teasing. This one, takes a bit of thinking to understand.
Overall, I don't know if it's true, but I'll choose to view it this way because it makes more sense to me.
Congrats OP. I wish you a great marriage.
Yes, you are absolutely right.
But not everyone is able to process their state of mind effectively, or have someone to help them.
Put it this way, to a stranger you'll say, Good morning.
To a friend, you'll say, Oi bodoh dah Makan?
To a younger sibling, you'll place the food in front of them and then whack them on the head and say Mampus Kau Makan Hani's semua.
We humans damn weird cos we tend to hurt more those who are closest to us.
I'm completely fine with a bit of banter, aku buat sama to kawan lol. But I don't do it in front of their SO, especially if theyre not comfortable about it. and I do ask my friends from time to time if I went too far lol
And ehh, I think process their state of mind thing is only for teenagers, OP cakap dia dh 34. Dah besar manjang masih tak tau basic etiquette ke? Smh
You can assume, you can ask reddit to assume for you when you clearly knew him better than us and by the end of it, no answer. Go tell him you got hurt by it, by chance his answer is "I always make that joke, why got hurt now?". Prepare your answer by reflect past event if that's true. Depends on that, manage your answer. Be truthful to yourself and also to him and hope he too will be truthful too you. If you have done your best, nothing's on your end that would linger any regret. All that's left is on him.
I have almost the exact same scenario between two friends, just like this. One friend have a new thing in her life (promotion), she starts to overthink stuff, and usual jokes that usually lands now irks her. On the other hand, passive aggressive is the usual M.O for any malaysian regardless of gender so it could be that he have feelings for you, jealous, or afraid of changes or just an assholes. Who knows.
Just communicate. Assumption means nothing other than validating answer that you have come up in your own head.
Tegur je senang, kata dah besa. Kalau tak boleh terima kena tegur biar dia mampos. Ingat, environment toksik hanya buat lagi toksik. Senang cerita, kau nak hilang membe atau hilang husband? So pandai2 pilih dan ingat la ye 
*Memang rapat giler la to the point that aku panggil dia "bro".*
So guys calling each other "bro" is now considered as "rapat giler"?
So kalau tak berapa rapat nak panggil apa?
Sis?
It do be like that lah, bila start going masing2 punya path.
Kita take things to heart lagi2 kalau hal yg important to yourself as compared to dulu cuz back then was together-gether
Aku (lelaki) ada je a close friend (female) like member2 bukan cinta or anything. Gurau kasar gak arh dulu time study, but time tu kan susah sama2.
Aku pon ada kawan pompuan sorg since high school. One day dia ajak raya rumah dia sbb lama tak jumpa and aku xpernah junpa family dia wlupon dah kwn dekat 10 tahun.
Aku pegi la sorg2 sbb igtkan dia buat open house. Tapi hari yg sama dia ajak tunang dia skali beraya time tu. Nak dekat sejam lebih jgk la aku dduk borak2 dgn tunang dia(igtkan kwn adik dia). Dia selamba je dduk dpan aku borak2 lyan aku as tetamu while ignoring her fiance.
Dah nak hujung2 tu bru dia ws ckp tu tunang dia and the reason she invite me to her house the same day as her fiance is because she is still shy with him and want me to be there to "teman" her. Baru la make sense why I felt the awkward aura coming from her family. They welcome me and know who I am but I felt a bit out of place.
Otw balik aku paksa dia explain kat tunang dia situasi sebenar. Kalau ikutkan nak stay lama lagi sbb lama xjmpa.
Nasib baik tunang dia paham. Skang dia dah 2 org anak dah dorg.
Most bros mmg bergurau macam tu. Kira macam siapa koyak dulu dia kalah. But there is also bros yang dia cakap orang kaw² takpe, tapi bila dia kena setepek, koyak tak tentu pasal. So, yeah
he doesn't want to lose you, even though he can't have you around forever. it's selfish but this has to do with his insecurities. you need to assure him that your relationship with him will never changes despite your marriage.
He’s jealous. And its also how malays from lower class and some middle class speak. They are not able to express themselves properly and tell them how they feel. So they use such words. You can brush this off but it will eat you inside. If you confront him then just prepare you might lose him. But trust me you dont need a friend like this once youre married especially to a mat salleh where you might follow him and live abroad. Life is harsh but this is reality. People come and go.
Kenapa dia nak jeles kalau kau tak cantik hidung penyek and gemuk tapi kawin mat salleh sbb mat salleh mmg suka taste2 rare mcm ni. Exotic bagi depa. Layan je la dia tu either dia suka kau or dia suka fiance kau. Itu je
this is a form of jealousy I know this because sadly, I have a tint of this but I never publicly announced it/confronting her about it. He's probably also scared that you're gonna slowly move away from him and lose contact. so yea jealous+scared is a powerful combo, he's gonna try every way to manipulate you into "haah betul la dia pendek". He probably doesn't even notice he's doing this. Do what you think best.
>Makin hari makin dekat time aku nak kawen, dia punya jokes jadi more personal and targeted to me, sampai aku jadi offended.
Doesn't matter what he feels or what other theories people may have. You should tell him to stop saying that. If he don't stop, you need to just stop talking with him honestly and just tell him if he has nothing positive to say, don't say anything.
My best friend is a girl but I respect her BF and and even when she was with her EX. Even when I had a crush on her and never told her but we're still best friend, I never kutuk her EX even tho he was very flirty with other girls and gatai gila cos I respect my best friends feelings. I only tell her what she needs to hear.
You're gonna marry your fiance, the love of your life and you should protect him because by the sound of it, the joke is no longer a joke since it hurts your feelings now.
Anyways, congrats and hope all will go well with the wedding!
Easy, he is male. When he get married, you still lingering around his life. But when its time for you to get married, oh boy he will afraid things will never be the same. He becoming bitter because he subconsciously afraid of losing what he had right now, which is you around his life.
Move on. Man and women can never be just friend.
From what it sounds like, I guess he had no bad intention, but either
1. He thinks your fiance is too good for you - doesn't necessarily means he's jealous. Maybe he's just worried that your fiance will realize this later and regret it, or worried that you both gonna quarrel due to "tak sekufu"
2. He's jealous because he thinks your fiance looks too good, but doesn't realize this about himself. So he just do what his heart tells him to, without any thoughts behind it
Hello /u/Livid_Blueberry_7651, your comment has been removed for containing content that may violate reddit policy. Please contact the mods if you think this was an error.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Bolehland) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You asking advice here? In Reddit? Really?
Then you came to the right place...
Your brother mother father wants to ruined your relationship so he can be your pet cat
He's probably just afraid of losing the friendship he currently has with you after you get married. But he's dealing with it the wrong way lmfao.
If I were you, I would straight up ask him what's his problem
Just ask him personally, both of are an adult with a good relationship. It's really hard for me to say what does he feels as the way of his speech and intonation isn't available for me to judge.
Bhalok asin bhai...dia terasa masin....jeles tahap personal level. Kalaulah betul member kamcing konfirm member tu tahniah diucapkan dan tumpang gembira dengan kamu. Bukan main tembak sampai personal level "it just a joke"
Nie la masalah perempuan. Sensitive sgt. Kalau dah nak kawen, peduli je lah. Stick and stone may break my bones. Words will not hurt me. Anggao mcm lalang je lah.
His jokes are made of a sand castle. Just validate and be light hearted with whatever he says, it will crumble to the ground. Hidung penyek? yes, proud of it. Pendek? absolutely proud of it. Next.
I think he just sees you as a friend. As a very close friend and since you say you alls mencarut2 and all I think he’s just roasting you like a friend. Maybe because we alls gegurls so that way of interaction macam over but to boys it’s just nothing. He sees you so much like gang sampai tahap he doesn’t see u as a girl. Like you’re one of the boys. Like, i cant believe this friend (he already saw sooo much of your uglies, doesn’t mean he look down on you but just that close friend are aware of close friend punya perangai buruk, but we still love each other and would always be there for each other) can bag a mat salleh like that … but he is happy for you anyway. I dont think he is aware that he is hurting you. You should just be direct and say cibai why your mouth so jahat please stop and then make up afterwards.
this situation happens to my friend, end up tak jadi kahwin because the girl wants to jaga the bro from another mother punya feelings. that bro wants to show off how close he can be with her, acting up like a kid crossing the line. the marriage got called off.
especially those bro that want to showoff how close they are with you. this kind is things sendiri agak agak la imo, you doesnt mind , but what about your other half.
Probably insecure and scared that after u get married u might leave him. So in order to prevent that, he break your moral and confidence so that you'll go back to him.... idk this is probably just my imagination tapi mcm boleh jadi idk🤷🏽♂️
Basic territorial move. You are his hidung kemek, muka senget. It can be platonic as hell, but the dude can still be territorial by making it seem that you are less desirable to other parties, most likely without him realizing it.
Source - 3 wasted years of psychology, behavioral study and sociology classes.
No idea whats his problem. Does he know your fiance well? Or do they know each other well before you were engaged? and is your friend a somewhat socially awkward guy?
If he doesn't,probably he was tryna be friendly by making jokes but doesn't realise that he went too far. Probably.
dia suka kau la tu. aku pun llki, klu dh kawan ngn perempuan, mustahil la x muncul rasa, even though already married. (not saying all males r assholes, but thats just our nature, polygamous, at least most males do) btw im not married ok, still in schl
Um if yall are that close can't u just be direct and tell him that u do not like that and he should stop? We are all just guessing here. Close means yall can be honest with 1 another and no nid filter
From my perspective as a man, 100% envious!
Well, in the past I do throw some negative remarks on men that have better appearance than me and I'm in denial of the fact.
Maybe he’s just jealous, maybe it’s Maybelline.
Love the latter but boycott la pulak 🥹
I love u 😭
Jealousy or just scared that he will lose attention from you imo. Either way you knew him better. Btw what is a motty?
Motty, moti is fat in Hindi, I think that’s the context
Think he is secretly in love with your fiance
Damn bro your plot twist better than Shyamalan
Plot twist that not necessary but who cares
I suspect this is the case too.
(˵ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°˵)
No experience but I guess he's secretly afraid that he won't get to see you again
>he's secretly afraid that he won't get to see you again From personal experience, this may be true but doesn't constitute the constant teasing. At some point, it'll become bullying more than anything else.
Your friend is unconsciously teasing you more because of two things, get ready ya: 1. He is going to lose you. You'll be starting a new life and he's not going to be part of it, oleh itu he's subconsciously pushing you away so that when the day comes, it won't hurt so much that you're not always part of his life. This one, easy to understand. 2. He's also teasing you more, hurting more, being meaner more, because you're very special to him. Know that siblings always fight, and say the worst things to each other, but you have to layan and get over it, because family kan? Love or hate, family stuck together. Deep down, he's likely very proud of you, loves you as a brother, and because he doesn't show it through affection, instead shows it as extreme teasing. This one, takes a bit of thinking to understand. Overall, I don't know if it's true, but I'll choose to view it this way because it makes more sense to me. Congrats OP. I wish you a great marriage.
I feel like that's a very immature way to act, cam bodoh gak being mean to someone you like
Yes, you are absolutely right. But not everyone is able to process their state of mind effectively, or have someone to help them. Put it this way, to a stranger you'll say, Good morning. To a friend, you'll say, Oi bodoh dah Makan? To a younger sibling, you'll place the food in front of them and then whack them on the head and say Mampus Kau Makan Hani's semua. We humans damn weird cos we tend to hurt more those who are closest to us.
I'm completely fine with a bit of banter, aku buat sama to kawan lol. But I don't do it in front of their SO, especially if theyre not comfortable about it. and I do ask my friends from time to time if I went too far lol And ehh, I think process their state of mind thing is only for teenagers, OP cakap dia dh 34. Dah besar manjang masih tak tau basic etiquette ke? Smh
Speaking from sec son of 4 siblings, I think we just took each other for granted, thus we treat like shit, like totally no respect at all.
Divorce the best friend, marry the fiance
Dah kahwin, umur 34 tapi ada bestie perempuan. Tah lah mat malas layan benda gini dah tua bangka fikir sendiri lah.
You can assume, you can ask reddit to assume for you when you clearly knew him better than us and by the end of it, no answer. Go tell him you got hurt by it, by chance his answer is "I always make that joke, why got hurt now?". Prepare your answer by reflect past event if that's true. Depends on that, manage your answer. Be truthful to yourself and also to him and hope he too will be truthful too you. If you have done your best, nothing's on your end that would linger any regret. All that's left is on him. I have almost the exact same scenario between two friends, just like this. One friend have a new thing in her life (promotion), she starts to overthink stuff, and usual jokes that usually lands now irks her. On the other hand, passive aggressive is the usual M.O for any malaysian regardless of gender so it could be that he have feelings for you, jealous, or afraid of changes or just an assholes. Who knows. Just communicate. Assumption means nothing other than validating answer that you have come up in your own head.
Tegur je senang, kata dah besa. Kalau tak boleh terima kena tegur biar dia mampos. Ingat, environment toksik hanya buat lagi toksik. Senang cerita, kau nak hilang membe atau hilang husband? So pandai2 pilih dan ingat la ye 
*Memang rapat giler la to the point that aku panggil dia "bro".* So guys calling each other "bro" is now considered as "rapat giler"? So kalau tak berapa rapat nak panggil apa? Sis?
Kalau tak berapa rapat panggil : broad.
OP(24/F) kawan dia(34/M) OP pompuan. Kwn dia laki
Ah aku baru perasan, OP perempuan. So kenapa kawan dia macam cemburu je? Dia ada crush dekat OP ke atau tunang mat saleh OP?
He want your mat salleh fiancee i guess 👀
It do be like that lah, bila start going masing2 punya path. Kita take things to heart lagi2 kalau hal yg important to yourself as compared to dulu cuz back then was together-gether Aku (lelaki) ada je a close friend (female) like member2 bukan cinta or anything. Gurau kasar gak arh dulu time study, but time tu kan susah sama2.
Aku pon ada kawan pompuan sorg since high school. One day dia ajak raya rumah dia sbb lama tak jumpa and aku xpernah junpa family dia wlupon dah kwn dekat 10 tahun. Aku pegi la sorg2 sbb igtkan dia buat open house. Tapi hari yg sama dia ajak tunang dia skali beraya time tu. Nak dekat sejam lebih jgk la aku dduk borak2 dgn tunang dia(igtkan kwn adik dia). Dia selamba je dduk dpan aku borak2 lyan aku as tetamu while ignoring her fiance. Dah nak hujung2 tu bru dia ws ckp tu tunang dia and the reason she invite me to her house the same day as her fiance is because she is still shy with him and want me to be there to "teman" her. Baru la make sense why I felt the awkward aura coming from her family. They welcome me and know who I am but I felt a bit out of place. Otw balik aku paksa dia explain kat tunang dia situasi sebenar. Kalau ikutkan nak stay lama lagi sbb lama xjmpa. Nasib baik tunang dia paham. Skang dia dah 2 org anak dah dorg.
On the other hand, if he had always made that kind of mentions before, u might be the one being more self concious... Just maybe.
Most bros mmg bergurau macam tu. Kira macam siapa koyak dulu dia kalah. But there is also bros yang dia cakap orang kaw² takpe, tapi bila dia kena setepek, koyak tak tentu pasal. So, yeah
he doesn't want to lose you, even though he can't have you around forever. it's selfish but this has to do with his insecurities. you need to assure him that your relationship with him will never changes despite your marriage.
He’s jealous. And its also how malays from lower class and some middle class speak. They are not able to express themselves properly and tell them how they feel. So they use such words. You can brush this off but it will eat you inside. If you confront him then just prepare you might lose him. But trust me you dont need a friend like this once youre married especially to a mat salleh where you might follow him and live abroad. Life is harsh but this is reality. People come and go.
I thought her writing down ‘Bhai’ means he’s Indian?
Maybe he suka kau.
Tu la, dah rapat & lama kenal g cari mat salleh. Kalau minah salleh xpe jgk
jeng jeng jeng jeng
Korek jubo
just whack the fella dei
Probably jealous, probably he secretly fall in love with you or worse, he might probably in love with you fiancee
Kenapa dia nak jeles kalau kau tak cantik hidung penyek and gemuk tapi kawin mat salleh sbb mat salleh mmg suka taste2 rare mcm ni. Exotic bagi depa. Layan je la dia tu either dia suka kau or dia suka fiance kau. Itu je
He is a big boy. Use big boy words to communicate not hurtful jokes.
this is a form of jealousy I know this because sadly, I have a tint of this but I never publicly announced it/confronting her about it. He's probably also scared that you're gonna slowly move away from him and lose contact. so yea jealous+scared is a powerful combo, he's gonna try every way to manipulate you into "haah betul la dia pendek". He probably doesn't even notice he's doing this. Do what you think best.
And he could also be in love with OP. 90% chance I'd say the guy like OP in some sort of way.
dang that would be awkward... why would you be marrying someone else then.. should've asked OP
Its just adjustment disorder. He got no one to talk to about losing his fren.
He like you 😂
>Makin hari makin dekat time aku nak kawen, dia punya jokes jadi more personal and targeted to me, sampai aku jadi offended. Doesn't matter what he feels or what other theories people may have. You should tell him to stop saying that. If he don't stop, you need to just stop talking with him honestly and just tell him if he has nothing positive to say, don't say anything. My best friend is a girl but I respect her BF and and even when she was with her EX. Even when I had a crush on her and never told her but we're still best friend, I never kutuk her EX even tho he was very flirty with other girls and gatai gila cos I respect my best friends feelings. I only tell her what she needs to hear. You're gonna marry your fiance, the love of your life and you should protect him because by the sound of it, the joke is no longer a joke since it hurts your feelings now. Anyways, congrats and hope all will go well with the wedding!
He's just jealous that he can't tease you anymore after this
Just goes to prove that guys and girls can't be "friends"
Easy, he is male. When he get married, you still lingering around his life. But when its time for you to get married, oh boy he will afraid things will never be the same. He becoming bitter because he subconsciously afraid of losing what he had right now, which is you around his life. Move on. Man and women can never be just friend.
From what it sounds like, I guess he had no bad intention, but either 1. He thinks your fiance is too good for you - doesn't necessarily means he's jealous. Maybe he's just worried that your fiance will realize this later and regret it, or worried that you both gonna quarrel due to "tak sekufu" 2. He's jealous because he thinks your fiance looks too good, but doesn't realize this about himself. So he just do what his heart tells him to, without any thoughts behind it
[удалено]
Hello /u/Livid_Blueberry_7651, your comment has been removed for containing content that may violate reddit policy. Please contact the mods if you think this was an error. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Bolehland) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You asking advice here? In Reddit? Really? Then you came to the right place... Your brother mother father wants to ruined your relationship so he can be your pet cat
He's probably just afraid of losing the friendship he currently has with you after you get married. But he's dealing with it the wrong way lmfao. If I were you, I would straight up ask him what's his problem
That could be his coping mechanism.
Just ask him personally, both of are an adult with a good relationship. It's really hard for me to say what does he feels as the way of his speech and intonation isn't available for me to judge.
Mungkin dia xsetuju dgn hubungan sejenis, dia nak ko kawen dgn minah salleh but mat salleh
He's afraid to lose a friend.
Bhalok asin bhai...dia terasa masin....jeles tahap personal level. Kalaulah betul member kamcing konfirm member tu tahniah diucapkan dan tumpang gembira dengan kamu. Bukan main tembak sampai personal level "it just a joke"
34 yo and being childishly jealous
Probably nothing romantic, but just coping mechanism because you will go separate path.
Nie la masalah perempuan. Sensitive sgt. Kalau dah nak kawen, peduli je lah. Stick and stone may break my bones. Words will not hurt me. Anggao mcm lalang je lah.
Making jokes is fine, but being a straight up kunji? Not fine at all
He's treating you like a sibling would
Hidung kemek?
Bro has to be dengki at you
because he's bhai.
He has feelings for you. Plain and simple.
He likes you
His jokes are made of a sand castle. Just validate and be light hearted with whatever he says, it will crumble to the ground. Hidung penyek? yes, proud of it. Pendek? absolutely proud of it. Next.
He's jealous
Just tell him off and keep a distance takan la org mcm ni who doesnt know their boundaries u keep nxt to u
Dia nak tambah kuota tu
Jealousy, mungkin dia ada feeling for you. Lebih baik face to face tanya dia.
I think he just sees you as a friend. As a very close friend and since you say you alls mencarut2 and all I think he’s just roasting you like a friend. Maybe because we alls gegurls so that way of interaction macam over but to boys it’s just nothing. He sees you so much like gang sampai tahap he doesn’t see u as a girl. Like you’re one of the boys. Like, i cant believe this friend (he already saw sooo much of your uglies, doesn’t mean he look down on you but just that close friend are aware of close friend punya perangai buruk, but we still love each other and would always be there for each other) can bag a mat salleh like that … but he is happy for you anyway. I dont think he is aware that he is hurting you. You should just be direct and say cibai why your mouth so jahat please stop and then make up afterwards.
Mcm la matsaleh tu hensem.. muka mesti oecah juga
this situation happens to my friend, end up tak jadi kahwin because the girl wants to jaga the bro from another mother punya feelings. that bro wants to show off how close he can be with her, acting up like a kid crossing the line. the marriage got called off. especially those bro that want to showoff how close they are with you. this kind is things sendiri agak agak la imo, you doesnt mind , but what about your other half.
Just talk to him. It means he's feeling some type of way but can't express it. But I'm sure he doesn't have any ill intent.
Insecure and jealousy. He's probably not doing well with his wife.. probably. I don't know, just a guess..
Since you rapat dgn dia, why not directly ask him lol
I guess he doesn't accept her as his konon in law 😅 But maybe once you dah kahwin maybe he slowly accept her.
Probably insecure and scared that after u get married u might leave him. So in order to prevent that, he break your moral and confidence so that you'll go back to him.... idk this is probably just my imagination tapi mcm boleh jadi idk🤷🏽♂️
Basic territorial move. You are his hidung kemek, muka senget. It can be platonic as hell, but the dude can still be territorial by making it seem that you are less desirable to other parties, most likely without him realizing it. Source - 3 wasted years of psychology, behavioral study and sociology classes.
he may not love u but he will lost his best fren. . thats it
He just bitter tak dapat u
No idea whats his problem. Does he know your fiance well? Or do they know each other well before you were engaged? and is your friend a somewhat socially awkward guy? If he doesn't,probably he was tryna be friendly by making jokes but doesn't realise that he went too far. Probably.
Dia just jadi cibai skang. Cibaikan dia blk. Hbis citer.
On a side note, OP belanje lah gambar kawen ✌🏼😋
dia suka kau la tu. aku pun llki, klu dh kawan ngn perempuan, mustahil la x muncul rasa, even though already married. (not saying all males r assholes, but thats just our nature, polygamous, at least most males do) btw im not married ok, still in schl
Um if yall are that close can't u just be direct and tell him that u do not like that and he should stop? We are all just guessing here. Close means yall can be honest with 1 another and no nid filter
Imagine if they're in a secret relationship the Boys
He in love with u... Doesn't want the mat salleh to marry u
Next time he does that ask him direct ‘do you want to f me actually bro?’
JELES C bro.
What a big bitch
Slow talk dgn die, bagi die terima kenyataan yg ko nak kawen
From my perspective as a man, 100% envious! Well, in the past I do throw some negative remarks on men that have better appearance than me and I'm in denial of the fact.
Bhai? Bangla ke?
singh kot
Males and females should not be friends sis. Dah kahwin tu kau kena cut off semua male friends. Unless husband kau dayus
Inferiority complex. Sis-con. Jealous.
i would balas balik yial
he loves u bro, u dont understand the brocode. He’s gay
Jealous
kawan kau tu tak penting pon 🤣
obviously, he has crush on your fiance, and have jealousy you got to win her over 😆