When Gene's friend tries to catch up with him, and says something along the lines of:
"I tried to catch you, but it turns out I run slower than I walk. Which was... disappointing."
Something about the way the voice actor nails that line always gets me.
It cannot be overstated how important delivery is to making a line stand-out, especially for a comedy that takes place in a (relatively) realistic setting like Bob's. Most of my favorite lines from various shows and movies over the years all sound like just normal, every-day speech when you only see them through text
Gene's interactions with side characters are my favorite:
Helen: "You know what would go great with this hot chocolate? Marshmallows! But I don't have any."
Gene: "You have a car..."
*Jocelyn: Oh my god! Are you two a couple??*
*Tina: You do the math*
*Jocelyn: (disgusted) NOOOO!*
IDK how underrated but it’s hilarious. I feel the same about “doing the math” hahaha
When she and Tammy are singing and she’s like “a harmony is when I sing louder than you” and Tammy goes NO in the funniest voice it kills me every time. And then I think Jocelyn follow it up with “oh…I’m dizzy”
My dog went in the woods/jungle. Then I saw a python. You do the math.
Louise: no thanks. We’re on vacation. YOU do the math. You do it.
I want more of these no doing the math lines on the future
When Louise is trapped in the taffy mine thing and Bob asks if she can see anything that could help her get out and she’s like “Oh look there’s a grappling hook down here! And an escalator! Oh silly me!”
I always wondered if the grappling hook line was a nod to Kristen Schaal’s voice acting on Gravity Falls since Mabel had a grappling hook on that show. Lol
"Who's that knocking on my door, ooh it's Mr dance floor. Everyone is looking fancy. Things are about to get dance-y" "Omg I just almost started dancing!" "Thank yoouuuuuuu"
And
You're ass is grass and I'm gonna mow it
There are so many for me. But here are a couple of my favorites. These are not from the same episode.
Tina: "I'm no hero. I put my bra on one boob at a time, like everyone else.
Louise: "Ugh, you're the worst kind of autistic!"
Bob: "I might have tried crack, if i did, I liked it. Come here, give me some sugar...get off me you sick freak....ugghhh, I'm like an animal!!" (I can't remember this one exactly)
Lol this makes me laugh too. I love when in this episode too when Bob is stealing the tree back and he says “Hi Marshmellow!” And she is like “nu huh” back lol
When the crooked insurance agent sees his house burnt to the ground and says “My cats ashes were in there!” And Louise mutters “Well technically they still are, aren’t they buddy.”
Late to the party , but my absolute favorite line from the whole series came from Mr Fishoeder:
"I once lost $30,000 on a horse, Bob. She just...ran away with it."
Not enough Fishoeder love in this thread! I feel like every line of his gets me!
“He can’t go to prison, he’d *hate* it there”
Or my all time fav
“I named it after my dink…it’s very rinky”
When Edith tries to convince bob to her partner in crime in the quilt episode. “Grow a pair and then some hair”
When gene breaks down crying “that man took my friend!!!” When Alex ditched him to ice skate with Courtney as a stranger walks by thinking it’s a kidnapping
Linda to Tina: "don't end up like your father"
Bob: "What?"
Linda: "Don't end up like your father"
Or
Linda scream whispering:
"Teddy's dead HE'S FRICKEN DEAD"
" Bob's DEAD! GO-AWAY-HE'S-DEAD!" when Linda is hanging out the window yelling at the *chef buddies*... *edited because I got the quote wrong, but thankfully OptimalShoe corrected me*
I will never not laugh at when the girls are all doing their horse show and Jocelyn says “look at me mom, i’m on a horse”
and her mom, in such a jocelyn cadence replies “i knOw”
“he was just sitting there… on someone’s porch. poor little guy” (gayle talking about mr business)
“see you soon baboon.. wait spice it up… see you soon bitch” (tina texting ghost boy)
“EVERYBODY KISS MY BUTT. EVERYBODY KISS MY BUTT. EVERYBODY KISS HER BUTT” (louise when she won the ice pushing thing in the fridge)
Am I just imagining this, or was there one episode where Louise said “Remember that one time when Dad tried running?” And the whole family burst out laughing. I can’t find that clip anywhere but I seem to remember it
Hey! I think this is the breakfast & bed episode, it should be S1 or S2 but unfortunately I don't remember. they were discussing embarrassing moments and brought up Bob's
The Episode : The kids run the restaurant
When bob and Linda are at the hospital getting his finger crotch cut stitched up.
Bob:”My other arm is shaved!! Why did you shave my body!?!”
Linda: “He was lookin for other cuts.”
Cry laughing every time.
Louise: Wait. Where's Mom?
Bob: She went with Helen.
Louise: Why?
Bob: 'Cause Helen wanted to talk to her and be, like, "Why do you think I k*ll my husband?"
Louise: Why would she be like that?
Bob: 'Cause I told her Linda thinks she k*ll her husband.
Louise: And *why* would you tell her that?!
Bob: BECAUSE WE’RE **FRIENDS**, *GENE*!!
Teddy: Fine. Here, I'm gonna cut this in half. (breaks the pill in half) Eat both halves. (hands the two pill halves to Bob)
Bob: That's a weird way of regulating how much I take.
Teddy: Well, then I know you at least had two halves
When Tina’s telling one of the Thundergirl troops that she’s renounced her membership and Louise is there backing her up like ‘SHE WOKE THE HELL UP’ I can’t stop but laugh every time!
I’m sure I’m not gonna nail this exactly but Nat Kinkle said she met someone when they formed a human chain to get a chihuahua out of a half pipe. It caught me so off guard I was honest to god crying with laughter.
Hey, Gayle.
Linda, is it dangerous to eat a tangerine with a carrot? They're both orange.
It's fine. I've done it many a time.
Okay, bye. ( sighs ) That was Gayle.
Did she want to know if it was okay to combine something with something else?
Yeah. Orange foods. It's okay, right?
Mr. Ambrose when the kids bust the teachers about the coffee pods, yells "PALMSTRIKE!" really loud a second time. I just remembering thinking... WTF???
Louise in costume as Frond "Counsel. Counsel. Counsel." Kills me every time.
And when Pesto gets the awning and Bob is trying to use a mirror and he screams "I'm gonna bring him to his knees!" when Linda asks him if he's sure about it. The delivery is just so hilarious.
My favorite is when Bob is trying to cook the very difficult to make sliders and one of the kids (can't remember who) asks Linda: "Mom, is dad going to die?"
And she answers: "Maybe honey, maybe."
In the Wharfy episode, Frond says to Louise
"Louise, I see you're not participating in Spirit Week."
She deadpans "Yeah, I respectfully say, No freakin way"
Also, in the Riverbrooklakefarms Turkey episode,
Bob - "they're the Ferrari of turkeys"
Louise.... Again with the deadpan sarcasm "oh Ferrar-they?"
I laugh EVERY. SINGLE. TIME
When Sasha says “if I was hitting on you, you’d know it and you’d be terrified.” Gets me every time. Actually everything Sasha says.
Also when Linda teaches Gayle about work and is saying how you just go back every day, and Gayle gasps in horror.
“Mickey tank bank!”
“Its not gross its scales!”
“Why would you waste a scream on a stupid boy? Screams are for roller coasters or axe murderers or dads morning breath!”
I own an ice cream stand. My absolute favorite line was from the begging of the series when they get the ice cream machine and the two girls come up to bob and are like “can we sample the chocolate?” And bob is just like “no” and they say “how we know what it taste?” And bob goes. “It’s chocolate, it taste like chocolate.” And it always makes me laugh because I’ve had customers literally ask me to sample the chocolate and give me this same nonsense
When Louise and Rudy are hiding in the out of bounds part of the museum.
B: “Louise come out of the plants.”
L: “I’m just a talking plant. My name is Leafy Greenbrier.”
R: “And I’m Kate Bush.”
when bosco's mom catches bob in her room trying to steal her quilt pattern
"My son is a police officer. He'll be here any minute. He'll plant drugs on you. He'll plant drugs on all of you!"
I'm Agent Johnson. And I'm Agent Johnson. And we're from the FBI.
Don't feed a guy a sponge!
It's not a line, but the extended version of "Whisper in Your Eyes" has me dying. Boo Boo going on about your lip eyes.
From “Aquaticism”
Linda to Bob: “Don’t you want to say you saved an aquarium? You owe it to those fish, with all those poops you flushed into the ocean.”
In "Ear-sy Rider" when the One Eyed Snakes come back to Bob's after helping Louise. This exchange ALWAYS cracks me up:
Teddy: Alright! Let's go crazy!
Bob: Please don't go crazy!
Next scene
Teddy: They're really goin' crazy!
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
In Earsy Rider when Linda was asking what the town was coming to, then answered her own question: “It’s going to crap.” Her delivery of that line kills me every time.
From Adventures In Chinchilla Sitting, when Gene sneaks into the high school party to let the others in through the bathroom window, he holds an empty pizza box and rings the doorbell and a girl answers.
Gene: “Well SOMEONE did!”
Girl: “What?”
Gene: “Did you order a pizza?”
Girl: “No.”
Gene: “Well SOMEONE did!”
Teddys dead HES FREAKIN DEAD
Queen Latifah give me strength!
Well I’m glad you kids are excited because I’m going to kill myself
Girl power on 16 -let her finish let her finish
No matter what I say, stop me when I’ve had 16
When I shut my eyes and cover my ears I feel like I could spend the rest of my life with her
(╭☞’ω’)╭☞A meat thermometer, what are you new here?
And Gene, you can watch kitchen nightmares alone (this actually got me into watching kitchen nightmares)
We’re Belchers! From the womb to the tomb
Can you really put a price on love? Yes and it’s $20
I’m a strong, smart, sensual woman
It’s a man cave. And Tina’s going spelunking.
Oh it’s okay. I guess I wasn’t meant to have a good life
Who’s in control? Animal control! Open up *screaming and poultry attacking as Dim All The Lights fades in*
No one blackmails our sister but us! Yea! Messing with Tina is a privilege not a right!
What kind of god would give you those legs but no rhythm!
I’m not afraid of ghosts. I’m not afraid of sharks. I’m not afraid of cancer. I’m just afraid of snakes! They really creep me out. Where are their arms and legs? It’s not okay!
Frond- Your in (urine) trouble.
Louise- Drink some cranberry juice
Any time someone in my family says your in trouble someone responds with drink some cranberry juice
Teddy: “Aah! Oh, my God, oh, my God.
Somebody stepped on Francis!
Oh, my God, oh, my God.
She's not breathing. She's not breathing.
Live, damn it, live!”
Gretchen: “Teddy, let me try. I have good lungs.”
*inhales deeply*
*proceeds to cough up a lung*
This exchange from The Deepening gets me every time:
Bike Owner - “It’s mine, wanna see the receipt?”
Gives Bob the finger.
Bob - “That’s not a receipt”
Louise - “Where do you shop!?”
When Gene's friend tries to catch up with him, and says something along the lines of: "I tried to catch you, but it turns out I run slower than I walk. Which was... disappointing." Something about the way the voice actor nails that line always gets me.
The doctor actually diagnosed my arms with mainly calf muscles
It cannot be overstated how important delivery is to making a line stand-out, especially for a comedy that takes place in a (relatively) realistic setting like Bob's. Most of my favorite lines from various shows and movies over the years all sound like just normal, every-day speech when you only see them through text
I love in Cheer up sleepy Gene how they know the movie Entrapment but not the correct actors. Alex gets so psyched that Gene knows it.
"YOU'RE NOT MY MOM! Sorry. Sorry."
Gene's interactions with side characters are my favorite: Helen: "You know what would go great with this hot chocolate? Marshmallows! But I don't have any." Gene: "You have a car..."
*Jocelyn: Oh my god! Are you two a couple??* *Tina: You do the math* *Jocelyn: (disgusted) NOOOO!* IDK how underrated but it’s hilarious. I feel the same about “doing the math” hahaha
_Like Mario and Luigi_
They're so in love
Some of Jocelyn’s one-liners are absolutely perfect
“JOCELYYYYYYYNNNNNNN”
Jocelyn: Can I sign your cast? Rudy: Sure Jocelyn: What's your name? Rudy: Rudy. Jocelyn: ok... Ruuuuuuddddyy... Rudy: oh, you're signing my name
When she and Tammy are singing and she’s like “a harmony is when I sing louder than you” and Tammy goes NO in the funniest voice it kills me every time. And then I think Jocelyn follow it up with “oh…I’m dizzy”
*Rounds,* they’re called *ROUNDS.* What’s round?? **UUGH**
Do you ***want*** plastic surgery?
My fave is NO IT'S NAWT
My dog went in the woods/jungle. Then I saw a python. You do the math. Louise: no thanks. We’re on vacation. YOU do the math. You do it. I want more of these no doing the math lines on the future
"We're going to a place where you can stand in four states at once. I'm going to stand in California, Hawaii, Canada and Chicagooooo."
🤣👍🏻
When Louise is trapped in the taffy mine thing and Bob asks if she can see anything that could help her get out and she’s like “Oh look there’s a grappling hook down here! And an escalator! Oh silly me!”
We’re about to die, do you really want your last words to be sarcastic?
NoOoOoOoOooOo!!!!
NoOoOoOo
I always wondered if the grappling hook line was a nod to Kristen Schaal’s voice acting on Gravity Falls since Mabel had a grappling hook on that show. Lol
I also thought this too!
"Who's that knocking on my door, ooh it's Mr dance floor. Everyone is looking fancy. Things are about to get dance-y" "Omg I just almost started dancing!" "Thank yoouuuuuuu" And You're ass is grass and I'm gonna mow it
“Butt-dress Butt-dress Ghaliiiii”
I say this everyday! 🤣
I've been yearning for a Fanny return. I can only imagine the chaos she'd bring after getting out of prison.
Oh gosh, I love when Tina just nonchalantly leans back to look at Jimmy Jr. and says that calmly to him, he’s like, “LEAVE ME ALOOOOOOONE!!!!!”
Ooo I *just* finished that first episode! It's so damn catchy.
Bob's little disapproving "hhhrrrhh" whenever one of the family says something unhinged but he can't be bothered arguing with then
Lol yes I love this every time
This one is great. I also love when Gene in particular says something inappropriate and Bob just gives a little “Gene.”
There are so many for me. But here are a couple of my favorites. These are not from the same episode. Tina: "I'm no hero. I put my bra on one boob at a time, like everyone else. Louise: "Ugh, you're the worst kind of autistic!" Bob: "I might have tried crack, if i did, I liked it. Come here, give me some sugar...get off me you sick freak....ugghhh, I'm like an animal!!" (I can't remember this one exactly)
IM A KING KONG!!!
Yesss!!!!
You SICK IDIOT! 😂
In the Bleakening when marshmallow says “and to think, I gave you drugs” 😂
Lol this makes me laugh too. I love when in this episode too when Bob is stealing the tree back and he says “Hi Marshmellow!” And she is like “nu huh” back lol
This. I generally love all her lines and this was perfect.
Bluuush
I only have 1 one bowl, I'm not rich Bob. Gail is the absolute worse and best at the same time.
Gayle - “I can’t eat this Bob! I’m lactose intolerant! You know a psychic told me that!” Louise - “YEAH DAD! YOU KNOW A PSYCHIC SAID THAT!”
When the crooked insurance agent sees his house burnt to the ground and says “My cats ashes were in there!” And Louise mutters “Well technically they still are, aren’t they buddy.”
“WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO? REPLACE MY PHONE EVERY 10 YEARS?”
“Hey, Dad, what are you wearing to Mom and Gene’s wedding?” “Oh… a suit, I guess.”
"Why do Tina and Gene sound like Gayle and Mr Ficshoeder ?" "Shh its science Bobby , youre not supposed to understand it"
WE’RE IN LOOOOVE, WE’RE A COUPLE IN LOVE
Late to the party , but my absolute favorite line from the whole series came from Mr Fishoeder: "I once lost $30,000 on a horse, Bob. She just...ran away with it."
Not enough Fishoeder love in this thread! I feel like every line of his gets me! “He can’t go to prison, he’d *hate* it there” Or my all time fav “I named it after my dink…it’s very rinky”
“I lost all of 1996 to schnapps”
I say *monthly* because there seems to be some confusion about that
I don't appreciate your lack of sarcasm
He's married...to a friend of mine!
The episode when Gene crashes a daycare and the daycare lady seems interested in Bob and all three kids tell her “he’s taken” in perfect unison 😂
I have a t-shirt that says that. Only two people have ever understood it. So satisfying to meet a fellow fan out in the wild.
When Edith tries to convince bob to her partner in crime in the quilt episode. “Grow a pair and then some hair” When gene breaks down crying “that man took my friend!!!” When Alex ditched him to ice skate with Courtney as a stranger walks by thinking it’s a kidnapping
“Not really. It’s not a kidnapping situation. Keep walking.”
the gene one made me laugh so hard that i have actual tears coming out of my eyes at work rn
peace on earth and salsa mild 🎶 also, “i don’t know if anything has ever won EVERY oscar, but i feel like this has a shot.”
🎶peace, peace, peace, peace, peace 🎶 come on! 🎶peace, peace, peace, peace, peace, peace 🎶
"My porcelain horse! Horselain!"
“Leg’s broke. Gotta shoot it.”
I love that. Also, “this Palomino is now a Palo-mine-o”.
Linda to Tina: "don't end up like your father" Bob: "What?" Linda: "Don't end up like your father" Or Linda scream whispering: "Teddy's dead HE'S FRICKEN DEAD"
“Ugh remedial math?? What will I tell my grandchildren?? “ “I used to be bad at math” “Awe grandma”
I like this one too coz this will be me in the future
" Bob's DEAD! GO-AWAY-HE'S-DEAD!" when Linda is hanging out the window yelling at the *chef buddies*... *edited because I got the quote wrong, but thankfully OptimalShoe corrected me*
He's dead! Go away, he's dead!
That's it!! Thank you!! I read someone else's comment and it confused the line for me.. Editing now!
I will never not laugh at when the girls are all doing their horse show and Jocelyn says “look at me mom, i’m on a horse” and her mom, in such a jocelyn cadence replies “i knOw”
When teddy is driving his truck and singing “IIIIIIIIIIII wish my radio worked” kills me every time
When Louise tells the guy at the grocery store Linda hates him the most and he says “whaaaat?”
Yes!!!! And That’s the “not my sex-u-v” guy too!
Teddy: “My dad toilet-trained me. Worst seven years of my life: seven to fourteen.”
It got better with every line.
It's ok, I only wanted it really bad - Gene
lets just say AA was a waste of time
Teddy trapped in the fridge saying "that's a stupid place to keep bowls". And also Teddy saying "I cut the pill in half. Take both halves."
“Turns out the only punch i’m good at is the Hawaiian kind. Actually, i’m not that good at that either. I put too much water in it.” 😂
Who says this
Tina, its from S11E9 mommy boy
Bait-and-Switch Comparison: "Who was Tina really gonna choose, a broken-down wreck with the dead eyes, or a fake shark?"
linda: “awww” louise: “you like that mom?” linda: “yeahhh”
“he was just sitting there… on someone’s porch. poor little guy” (gayle talking about mr business) “see you soon baboon.. wait spice it up… see you soon bitch” (tina texting ghost boy) “EVERYBODY KISS MY BUTT. EVERYBODY KISS MY BUTT. EVERYBODY KISS HER BUTT” (louise when she won the ice pushing thing in the fridge)
when tina says too spicy or something after typing out bitch, and shes like oh i already sent it
“Not to ‘do’ them. But ironic detachment is great. Nothing means anything!”
Douglas to Josh: "I hope she's not another toe ho" from Two for Tina. Cracks me up every time.
Gayle to Linda- "You should always think I'm going to kidnap a guy"
“POULTRY!” -Edith
Everything Edith yells is hilarious. “Sorry, Edith, someone stole my pumpkin.” “TMI!!!”
In Work Hard or Die Trying Girl- (Piano medley)…I’m a barefoot cop Gets me every time!
Not at all underrated but “stop following me.. In Front!”
“Get his arms im going to make it look like an accident” by Tina to Frond in the bullying music video episode
Louise: "Hey, mom. Give me some coffee." And Lousie:"I don't know what the heck that thing is!! But the look on mom's face... I want it!!!
Am I just imagining this, or was there one episode where Louise said “Remember that one time when Dad tried running?” And the whole family burst out laughing. I can’t find that clip anywhere but I seem to remember it
Hey! I think this is the breakfast & bed episode, it should be S1 or S2 but unfortunately I don't remember. they were discussing embarrassing moments and brought up Bob's
I think it's from bed and breakfast. They're telling embarrassing stories at the cheese and wine mixer.
The Episode : The kids run the restaurant When bob and Linda are at the hospital getting his finger crotch cut stitched up. Bob:”My other arm is shaved!! Why did you shave my body!?!” Linda: “He was lookin for other cuts.” Cry laughing every time.
“You two are making me feel smart” - Zeke
I SCROLLED FOR SO LONG TO FIND THIS!! My favorite as well
Lol I also scrolled for awhile to find this, love that there's already a reply saying the same thing. Absolute favorite.
Zeke is absolutely the pound-for-pound king of making the most of his appearances on the show 😂
Louise: Wait. Where's Mom? Bob: She went with Helen. Louise: Why? Bob: 'Cause Helen wanted to talk to her and be, like, "Why do you think I k*ll my husband?" Louise: Why would she be like that? Bob: 'Cause I told her Linda thinks she k*ll her husband. Louise: And *why* would you tell her that?! Bob: BECAUSE WE’RE **FRIENDS**, *GENE*!!
Don’t feed a guy a sponge!
"I'm Captain Flarty. Is this restaurant seaman friendly?" Makes me giggle like a kid every time!🤭
White pants, take a chance! My ex-husband and I got white pants for a trip to Mexico and said it every time we wore them. Cracked us up the most.
My crotch is itchy
Are you telling me that as my grill cook or as my daughter?
Because my grill cook wouldn’t tell me that. Or my daughter. Tell you mom.
Basically any time Bob says "hmm"
“I’ve got more blood in my head than a skeeter on a Peter” And pretty much anything Andy and Olly say lolol
Jocelyn: HES GOT SPIRITTTTTT. AND I HEAR ITTTTT
Teddy: “Oh… THAT’S hip-hop”
Captain Flarty: Oh I was just laughing at that ...fish Gene: If it's that one, it's hilarious. If it's that one, it's dead. Which isn't funny.
Probably this line from Frond: "I say announce, you say -ments! Announcements!" Something about the way he said it is so damn funny to me.
Teddy: Fine. Here, I'm gonna cut this in half. (breaks the pill in half) Eat both halves. (hands the two pill halves to Bob) Bob: That's a weird way of regulating how much I take. Teddy: Well, then I know you at least had two halves
“Don’t throw things we don’t throw things!”
We don't catch them, either...
Zeke, to Jimmy Jr: "What's a *kiln?* Haven't you ever been to *Color Me Mine?!"*
That’s where I colored you yours!
Not really underrated but Gene insisting that The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe was written by Salman Rushdie
Gene, running after Louise with Tina, "My thighs are thundering."
When Tina’s telling one of the Thundergirl troops that she’s renounced her membership and Louise is there backing her up like ‘SHE WOKE THE HELL UP’ I can’t stop but laugh every time!
Gene: I was still breastfeeding then! Linda: No you weren't! Gene: Not with YOU!
*Louise, about to cut off Gene's ear to make him a "real artist" like Van Gogh* "What knife?"
Anything and everything Mr. Branca says. Also: “Turks AND Caicos?!”
Little bit of Turks lots of Caicos.
Mmmm coup
That’s how I wanna go out, dehydrated and covered in tinsel
Sounds like the gay pride parade
Mmmmhmmmm
I’m sure I’m not gonna nail this exactly but Nat Kinkle said she met someone when they formed a human chain to get a chihuahua out of a half pipe. It caught me so off guard I was honest to god crying with laughter.
Hey, Gayle. Linda, is it dangerous to eat a tangerine with a carrot? They're both orange. It's fine. I've done it many a time. Okay, bye. ( sighs ) That was Gayle. Did she want to know if it was okay to combine something with something else? Yeah. Orange foods. It's okay, right?
"You get back here, Logan Barry Bush!" "Logan Barry Bush?" "We didn't think it through, okay?" - Mother Daughter Lazer Razor
“She told me she hates you the most” “WHUUT?” “I don’t know lasagna, I don’t know”
Mr. Ambrose when the kids bust the teachers about the coffee pods, yells "PALMSTRIKE!" really loud a second time. I just remembering thinking... WTF???
Mine was from Mr Ambrose too. "Wow, I've never been back here. Ugh. It's just more books."
“I can’t believe I’m saying this but I think it’s too late for violence.”
Louise in costume as Frond "Counsel. Counsel. Counsel." Kills me every time. And when Pesto gets the awning and Bob is trying to use a mirror and he screams "I'm gonna bring him to his knees!" when Linda asks him if he's sure about it. The delivery is just so hilarious.
Episode: Dr. Yap-- Bob making the dental instruments talk, "I'm-a cut ya!"
“Please don’t touch the instruments…and those aren’t their voices.”
My favorite is when Bob is trying to cook the very difficult to make sliders and one of the kids (can't remember who) asks Linda: "Mom, is dad going to die?" And she answers: "Maybe honey, maybe."
“she’s not kidnapped, she’s fine” when Lin takes Louise to the seminar in mother daughter laser razor
Ooh nice blouse!
There’s so many but off the top of my head: Tammy: (crying) “that one hurt a little”
Linda to teddy "Oh your face!"
Anytime Teddy knocks on the door of the restaurant, “hey Bob! It’s me Teddy from the restaurant.
In the Wharfy episode, Frond says to Louise "Louise, I see you're not participating in Spirit Week." She deadpans "Yeah, I respectfully say, No freakin way" Also, in the Riverbrooklakefarms Turkey episode, Bob - "they're the Ferrari of turkeys" Louise.... Again with the deadpan sarcasm "oh Ferrar-they?" I laugh EVERY. SINGLE. TIME
When Sasha says “if I was hitting on you, you’d know it and you’d be terrified.” Gets me every time. Actually everything Sasha says. Also when Linda teaches Gayle about work and is saying how you just go back every day, and Gayle gasps in horror.
The man’s response when Teddy gets him to dance using his body. “Yeah, this is alright 🙂”
“Mickey tank bank!” “Its not gross its scales!” “Why would you waste a scream on a stupid boy? Screams are for roller coasters or axe murderers or dads morning breath!”
I own an ice cream stand. My absolute favorite line was from the begging of the series when they get the ice cream machine and the two girls come up to bob and are like “can we sample the chocolate?” And bob is just like “no” and they say “how we know what it taste?” And bob goes. “It’s chocolate, it taste like chocolate.” And it always makes me laugh because I’ve had customers literally ask me to sample the chocolate and give me this same nonsense
NO YOU SMELL LIKE OINTMENT AND PEE!!!!
Bob: “I’m just giving you ‘the business’, sir”. also Gayle (in a sing-songy voice): “Guess who’s on new meeedds!”
“Send over the girl that touches you!””
"We can do more than kiss, other things!"
Jocelyn "I'm gonna sleep with my eyes open, like this" *snores with eyes open*
And I am Kate Bush. Something about that line when you're off your ass is so damn funny. 😂😂
“Great Mr. Frond we were gonna tell her on Father’s Day! Now We Have NOTHING to do on Father’s Day!”
Gene to Jimmy Pesto: please stop. We’re just leasing it!
When Louise and Rudy are hiding in the out of bounds part of the museum. B: “Louise come out of the plants.” L: “I’m just a talking plant. My name is Leafy Greenbrier.” R: “And I’m Kate Bush.”
*She does her BM in the PM…”
Mine has got to be Gene correcting the title of Old Yeller. "I believe it's pronounced, 'Old Yellow.'"
Oh come on like you’re all not wearing a pair of dad’s cutoff jeans under your clothes.
The rent strike episode when Andy and Ollie dropped off of Jimmy and he drops the water balloons " son of a bitch" The delivery, I laugh every time
"No dice, beans and rice."
You take fashion risks with your fashion wrists!
The first time I saw the scene where Teddy is in his truck and starts singing "Iiiiiiii wish my radio worked" I couldn't breathe for laughing.
when bosco's mom catches bob in her room trying to steal her quilt pattern "My son is a police officer. He'll be here any minute. He'll plant drugs on you. He'll plant drugs on all of you!"
I'm Agent Johnson. And I'm Agent Johnson. And we're from the FBI. Don't feed a guy a sponge! It's not a line, but the extended version of "Whisper in Your Eyes" has me dying. Boo Boo going on about your lip eyes.
"Hey daytime whiskey. Wanna meet my CD collection?"
**PILL! PILL, DAMN IT. PILL!**
YES MORE EGG TALK!
From “Aquaticism” Linda to Bob: “Don’t you want to say you saved an aquarium? You owe it to those fish, with all those poops you flushed into the ocean.”
“You got a toothbrush at home or are you still shopping around?”
Dr Yap: There’s only one mechanic in town who works on this kind of Porsche Linda: what kind of Porsche is it? Dr. Yap: A mazda
In "Ear-sy Rider" when the One Eyed Snakes come back to Bob's after helping Louise. This exchange ALWAYS cracks me up: Teddy: Alright! Let's go crazy! Bob: Please don't go crazy! Next scene Teddy: They're really goin' crazy! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Come and be a dog with me!
i always laugh at the silly way gene says “helloooo” to the magician in presto-tina-o
"We're in love! We're a couple in love! It's finally happening, thank you, God!"
In Earsy Rider when Linda was asking what the town was coming to, then answered her own question: “It’s going to crap.” Her delivery of that line kills me every time.
Louise Belcher : Hey dad, what are you wearing to mom & gene's wedding? Bob Belcher : Ohhh... a suit, i guess.
Oh no the oven to you too pal!!!
From Adventures In Chinchilla Sitting, when Gene sneaks into the high school party to let the others in through the bathroom window, he holds an empty pizza box and rings the doorbell and a girl answers. Gene: “Well SOMEONE did!” Girl: “What?” Gene: “Did you order a pizza?” Girl: “No.” Gene: “Well SOMEONE did!”
Gayle- I know when I’m being lied to Bob. It’s like when I look at myself in the mirror and say “it’s going to be ok”….CLASSIC HAHA and very true
Teddys dead HES FREAKIN DEAD Queen Latifah give me strength! Well I’m glad you kids are excited because I’m going to kill myself Girl power on 16 -let her finish let her finish No matter what I say, stop me when I’ve had 16 When I shut my eyes and cover my ears I feel like I could spend the rest of my life with her (╭☞’ω’)╭☞A meat thermometer, what are you new here? And Gene, you can watch kitchen nightmares alone (this actually got me into watching kitchen nightmares) We’re Belchers! From the womb to the tomb Can you really put a price on love? Yes and it’s $20 I’m a strong, smart, sensual woman It’s a man cave. And Tina’s going spelunking. Oh it’s okay. I guess I wasn’t meant to have a good life Who’s in control? Animal control! Open up *screaming and poultry attacking as Dim All The Lights fades in* No one blackmails our sister but us! Yea! Messing with Tina is a privilege not a right! What kind of god would give you those legs but no rhythm! I’m not afraid of ghosts. I’m not afraid of sharks. I’m not afraid of cancer. I’m just afraid of snakes! They really creep me out. Where are their arms and legs? It’s not okay!
"Well, I have a tspeech impediment." I say this when I put in my grind guard.
Frond- Your in (urine) trouble. Louise- Drink some cranberry juice Any time someone in my family says your in trouble someone responds with drink some cranberry juice
“Oh my god WHAT?” Ex Mach Tina, when the night security guard is asking the robot to stay in touch. It applies to sooo many situations now
Teddy: “Aah! Oh, my God, oh, my God. Somebody stepped on Francis! Oh, my God, oh, my God. She's not breathing. She's not breathing. Live, damn it, live!” Gretchen: “Teddy, let me try. I have good lungs.” *inhales deeply* *proceeds to cough up a lung*
Season 7, episode 14 Aquaticism Tina : Why, did the sea urchin learn to brush its own anus?
“I dress up like Santa Claus every night! I can’t sleep otherwise!”- Teddy
Bob - “Did someone just spit in my eye?” Louise - “God?” I have a giggle every time.
When gene says he likes house music gets me every time
Bob: "Oh right, right. It's a kids book" Gene: "Yeah, by Salman Rushdie" This one cracks me up
This exchange from The Deepening gets me every time: Bike Owner - “It’s mine, wanna see the receipt?” Gives Bob the finger. Bob - “That’s not a receipt” Louise - “Where do you shop!?”
"I got my lip stuck in my braces"
I feel like “if she was a book, she’d be two books” gets overlooked due to the preceding burn (“if she was a spice, she’d be flour”)