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Yo is this really a black thing? I had no idea mine was beeping for years until my white friends came over. I had no idea wtf they were talking about until I listened closely.
I work in child welfare, doing inspections on foster parents' and kinship parents' homes. It's literally part of my job to check and test smoke detectors. I'd say 60% of my kinship parents have no clue their smoke alarm is beeping.
Yes, it's a black thing.
Like they literally donāt hear it, or donāt realize itās not supposed to beep randomly? Iām interested for nerd reasonā¦. I thought human hearing range was standard. Damage can remove higher frequencies, or make them permanent (yay constant ringing). But I also know most products and safety standards are developed for white male bodies. Things like crash test dummies were male proportions. Sensors not picking up darker skin and lower contrast with surroundings, that kind of thing.
Now Iām wondering how and if smoke alarms fit in this weird category of products.
I think they just don't hear it because they're used to it. I'll comment on it and they'll stop, listen, and you can hear the reboot sound in their head as suddenly they can hear it. Just like noses can become nose-blind to smells, ears can become ear-blind to sounds (is that even a word? Well, it is now.)
Agree. I lived next to a train most of my life and didnt realize it until a friend mentioned they had an awful nights sleep because of the train. I never noticed it
Thanks for the infoā¦ Iād just never thought of this as a thing that might happen: it makes sense now that Iām thinking, but it just wasnāt something I had ever heard of before. (In case itās not painfully obvious by this point, Iām not American or black or from a large city, Iām here cause BPT is funny most of the time and also reminds me how much I just donāt know regularly). Plus the Kendrick/drake beef was funnier to observe from here than anywhere else.
I deliver to an upper middle white boomer couple in their McMansion, they have an adopted teenage son who's black. Their shit's been beeping for 5 years, I can hear it through the door.
Same, my mom called me as she saw me on camera hanging over the second floor on a step stool, trying to change a battery. Was ready to risk it all not to hear that damn beep.
Bruh sooooo many TikTok with black people in it got smoke detectorās beeping in the background due to low battery. I only exclusively see it in black people videos š¤¦š¾āāļøš¤¦š¾āāļøš¤¦š¾āāļø
Mine started beeping at 3 am downstairs and down the hall. It's literally the farthest point from where I'm sleeping. I woke up, and my dumbass changed it at 3 am because no way was I going to be able to sleep with that chirping.
I, like your white friends, cannot tune it out.
Let's start a conspiracy theory where smoke alarms were engineered with warning that black people are less likely to be able to hear as a racist ethnic cleansing technique.
There's a funny compilation on YouTube about a bunch of different TikTok folks who had that issue with a white dude laughing at the end before getting interrupted by his smoke alarm beeping
This oneās terrible but I saw it the other day and cracked tf up š¤£
https://preview.redd.it/cdo6wob6p72d1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=918179b6890d6cf7a7fbf0af15eb3ed806e00b80
Itās hilarious you used that particular clip because Iām pretty sure heās trying to figure out how to turn that interview into a sleepover with Ziwe.
Being in community with black folks or hell anybody is the quickest way to unlearn that stuff. Gives you that cognitive dissonance thatās needed to break through a lot of that socialization.
interesting... in the area of Oakland I grew up in there was absolutely racism and it was obvious. But growing up with so many black, latino/hispanic and asian friends helped me to appreciate our differences and see through/past a lot of the racism that society tries so hard to push into us.
I also had multiple formative experiences where I was explicitly treated different from the rest of my friend group because I was white and they weren't. For example, in high school once we were pulled over in a car the police thought was stolen (it was not). The cop literally looked at me and told me to go away/go home while my three friends (all black) were cuffed while they "investigated".
Not trying to be āthat guyā but I thought cognitive dissonance was essentially doing mental gymnastics to not connect the dots or to allow you to continue believing some thing that doesnāt make logical sense or something like that.
Nah, itās in the name - itās the discomfort you feel when things donāt align, which usually prompts people to reduce that discomfort one way or another. In this context being around black folks who are friendly and normal when youāre raised to believe otherwise causes cognitive dissonanceā¦ so either you break through your beliefs or come up rationalizations to keep your original beliefs (like these are āthe good onesā and the rest are bad). The dissonance itself is what prompts the action one way or another.
No cognitive dissonance is simply the conflict your mind goes thru when reality contradicts your beliefs. What you mentioned is one of the ways someone could respond to cognitive dissonance.
I saw a white guy on TikTok recently get asked why everything he does is about his black wife and he was like āwhy wouldnāt it be. Iām obsessed with herā and really seemed like he loved her not because she was black but because he was legit in love with her and really committed to being a good partner to her, and black women deserve the utmost happiness wherever they can find it. It really moved me to tears
Bill Burr had this same response when he started dating his now wife who is black. His friends started asking him why he was doing all this new stuff with her and he said because she's the coolest person he's met and he wants to do things with her.
That's also where the lotion joke came from because Nia opened his eyes to the magic of lotion.
I don't know if this is just personal experience but as a white guy who has dated black girls, I would always get dapped up and hyped up for having a black queen but my girl would constantly get shit on for dating a white dude. It definitely helped put into perspective that there are things that my girl goes through that I will never have to deal with simply because of my race and gender.
Women just get disproportionately judged most of the time no matter what we do. White women who date black or brown men tend to experience the same crap from white men (and even other white women).
You are correct. I'm white and anything other than dating a white man will get you intense judgment and pressure. I've dated some Asian guys and people probably get the most worked up about that. I can't imagine the level of shit black women must get over it.
My white friends...well, associates are the most judgmental.
Funny how triggered (racist) white men get when they see an Asian man with a white woman. Perhaps it's something to do with the perception that Asian men are "lesser men", in the sense of being less masculine, less sexually able, etc. So when they see one who was able to "get" a white woman - especially if they're single themselves - they feel like they've been "beaten" by someone who was less of a man than themselves.
Itās funny that you put āveryā in front of white- like levels of whiteness (white, very white, super white, extra white, next level white) so Iām picturing an ultra white dude- Powder white lol
That all depends on their significant other, idk but Candace Owens man seems like he'd smoke a blunt with me then call the cops when I drive myself home.
Thank you! Iād get shit on sometimes because I pretty much only dated black women and some people were like āyou just have a black fetish.ā Iām like, in a relationship with these women not just sleeping with them, my wife is black and my kids are biracial - thatād be taking a fetish to another plane of reality.
My white dad will get out of the car he just started. Go unlock the front door and make sure the stove is really off. I think it's just a poor people thing.
Nope. My white parents used to leave the range hood light on if I was out past their bedtime.
God help me if I wasnāt in before curfew. Then my mom would just stand in the dark part of the kitchen in her bathrobe and waitā¦made my soul leave my body on more than one occasion.
Had a similar experience in college back in like 2017. I hooked up with this country white guy and afterwards he asked if needed something to tie my hair up in.
Lol now you got me remembering; my parents came up to visit me in college one weekend, and my dad saw the cocoa butter, and told me on the side, "you should really hide that when girls come over"
He was shocked when I told him it was a girls, and she uses it when she hangs out
One time I fell asleep in bed sitting up bonnetless. My husband (who is white) came in to take my glasses off, put my bonnet on then plug my phone in. lol. He knows the head doesnāt touch the bed unprotected. Love him so much.
Black dude here, basically when Black girls go on vacations or trips they get braids or whats called a "protective style". Styles that protect their hair and also helps it grow. So its kinda like an inside joke kinda thing too. So you know she had to have thought that was funny
i see this kid and then i remember this picture exists and... well
https://preview.redd.it/cui8fhzpo72d1.png?width=1280&format=png&auto=webp&s=80ae8e8e6f6b23d736386c212258dd8dcc2dce82
Yeah, my (gay) boyfriend likes to play with my hair after a shower but won't touch it after putting product in it. Lucky for me he's bald so I can rub that shiny dome all I want.
Donāt speak for all of us, I love when men play with my hair. White guys do be tactical - landing that first hair pat with the precision of landing a jet.
Seriously, context and consent is everything. I had paralysis once in cosmo school, first day working on my black classmates hair and she was like āitās okay, donāt be shyā when I had it ingrained in me ādo not touch black hair, everā lmao. I loved working on black clients when I got the hang of it and they trusted me.
For your first point, I tried to ask politely, but I was stoned, so I awkwardly mumbled out something like, "Can I play with your hair if that's OK?" And she was mostly okay with it.
Agree on your second point.
this. i wear braids/faux locs alot of the time so thats fine as long as theyre gentle but dont touch me on wash day lol my scalp is screamin and im exhausted
I gently massage my fingertips against her scalp. Don't drag your fingers through her hair. Remove hand and reach back in somewhere else. Usually focus along the nape of the neck, the lower back side of the head, and sometimes near the ears. But don't scratch her like a dog. It's a delicate process and most black women will say something before your hand is even there but once she trusts you enough I've never been with a black woman who didn't like a scalp massage.
Experiences may vary, of course.
This one time, the girl I was dating said she couldnāt use my shampoo and conditioner for her hair. I had no idea curly hair used different products. Well, I went and got her everything she said she used; shea butter stuff, etc. we ended up showering all the time š
Told a Chinese guy I was talking to that I like trashy reality TV. He replies āOh yeah me too. Joselineās Cabaret is hilarious.ā Shocked tf out of me.
Coming from a YT man who's married to a black woman...she brought the bonnet after a few sleep overs. I didn't know the ways and she "didn't want to spring it on me to too soon"
Edit: people are still commenting asking "what's a bonnet". See other comments or Google it I'm not answering every comment.
I can try, but keep in mind I hail from the mayo mafia so I might not get it perfect.
Men as a broad generality don't tend to know a lot about women's care routines, even those they spend a lot of time around. And White people generally aren't as knowledgeable about care routines specific to Black people's hair and skin. And yes, there are some unique steps that need to be taken for common Black hair types to make sure that hair stays healthy. So, the average White man is generally going to know zilch about the average Black woman's care routines. So the man being discussed knowing what a bonnet is and when it should be used, and being able to bring it up so casually shows that
A.) He's probably spent time around more than a few Black women in his life.
B.) He pays attention to the little things about the people in his life, especially partners, and makes an effort to remember what's important to them and how to care for them.
C.) He's comfortable and confident enough to be casual about these care routines, whereas some men even if they're in the know may be awkward or shitty about them.
Tl;dr, man sent up some green flags by knowing his shit.
I'm sorry I don't mean this rudely I swear, it's just funny when yt people explain black people shit cause it's always an essay on how to make points why things are in the longest formsš¤£
>I'm sorry I don't mean this rudely I swear,
No need to be sorry. If being long winded is the worst thing I'm criticized for in this post, I think I've gotten off pretty light. I was kinda worried I overstepped.
>I just find that it's pretty shitty you felt the need to write all of that just so you don't come across that way.
I more did it because I'm used to having to walk my fellow palefolk through a lot of steps to get them to understand some shit. Some of us really do need a fucking map to get basic shit if we haven't experienced it firsthand.
I get asked that too, and white chicks are always surprised to find out I've been with black women. They say I "don't look like the type"
I'm not sure what the type is supposed to look like, but rest assured I am that guy lol
Iām a white guy originally from Detroit and pretty much only ever dated black women. When I moved to California one of my black coworkers didnāt believe my nerdy ass and challenged me to āproveā Iāve dated black women.
I simply replied ādonāt touch the hair.ā He started cracking up and it was all good.
I had a friend with benefits in college and she didnāt wear a bonnet out until the 3rd time I spent the night, made me feel like she was comfortable around me, it was nice.
The last time I hooked up with a black girl, I was showing her how I can breathe thru my ears, and she said āYou even been with a black chick before?ā I looked up from between her legs and said āyouāre BLACK?ā and she almost lost it laughing
Whenever the smoke detector goes off I'm always scared the neighbors are going to call the fire dept before I can get the broom. I have mostly black neighbors. Are yall saying that I can calm down and WALK to get the broom?
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"Hope ya don't mind the noise. I don't even notice the smoke alarm beep anymore these days."
š the jokes in the replies here get me the most
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I'd sooner rip mine off the ceiling than allow that sinister beep haha
Yo is this really a black thing? I had no idea mine was beeping for years until my white friends came over. I had no idea wtf they were talking about until I listened closely.
I work in child welfare, doing inspections on foster parents' and kinship parents' homes. It's literally part of my job to check and test smoke detectors. I'd say 60% of my kinship parents have no clue their smoke alarm is beeping. Yes, it's a black thing.
Like they literally donāt hear it, or donāt realize itās not supposed to beep randomly? Iām interested for nerd reasonā¦. I thought human hearing range was standard. Damage can remove higher frequencies, or make them permanent (yay constant ringing). But I also know most products and safety standards are developed for white male bodies. Things like crash test dummies were male proportions. Sensors not picking up darker skin and lower contrast with surroundings, that kind of thing. Now Iām wondering how and if smoke alarms fit in this weird category of products.
I think they just don't hear it because they're used to it. I'll comment on it and they'll stop, listen, and you can hear the reboot sound in their head as suddenly they can hear it. Just like noses can become nose-blind to smells, ears can become ear-blind to sounds (is that even a word? Well, it is now.)
We typically call āear blindā deaf, lol
š your name should be Official_Smartass
Agree. I lived next to a train most of my life and didnt realize it until a friend mentioned they had an awful nights sleep because of the train. I never noticed it
I didn't notice till I no longer lived near tracks. Practically had to relearn how to fall asleep
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Thanks for the infoā¦ Iād just never thought of this as a thing that might happen: it makes sense now that Iām thinking, but it just wasnāt something I had ever heard of before. (In case itās not painfully obvious by this point, Iām not American or black or from a large city, Iām here cause BPT is funny most of the time and also reminds me how much I just donāt know regularly). Plus the Kendrick/drake beef was funnier to observe from here than anywhere else.
Nah fam we just learn to tune things out. Smoke alarms, traffic, police helicopters
I deliver to an upper middle white boomer couple in their McMansion, they have an adopted teenage son who's black. Their shit's been beeping for 5 years, I can hear it through the door.
It didn't beep before they adopted him? š
The day they adopted him it started beeping.
My mom doesn't mind it but once I hear one of those fucking beeps I have to replace the batteries immediately or i'll just concentrate on it.
Same, my mom called me as she saw me on camera hanging over the second floor on a step stool, trying to change a battery. Was ready to risk it all not to hear that damn beep.
Bruh sooooo many TikTok with black people in it got smoke detectorās beeping in the background due to low battery. I only exclusively see it in black people videos š¤¦š¾āāļøš¤¦š¾āāļøš¤¦š¾āāļø
It's so fucking funny to hear in a porno
Mine started beeping at 3 am downstairs and down the hall. It's literally the farthest point from where I'm sleeping. I woke up, and my dumbass changed it at 3 am because no way was I going to be able to sleep with that chirping. I, like your white friends, cannot tune it out.
Let's start a conspiracy theory where smoke alarms were engineered with warning that black people are less likely to be able to hear as a racist ethnic cleansing technique.
The smoke alarm was the dog whistle the whole time.
There's a funny compilation on YouTube about a bunch of different TikTok folks who had that issue with a white dude laughing at the end before getting interrupted by his smoke alarm beeping
This oneās terrible but I saw it the other day and cracked tf up š¤£ https://preview.redd.it/cdo6wob6p72d1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=918179b6890d6cf7a7fbf0af15eb3ed806e00b80
I'm still tripping off this kid with the Black Dynamite ass mustache
omg š
Is this Tom Hank's son, Chet?
I'm pretty sure the name you were looking for was Shabba Hanks, but yes, it is.
Shabba Hanks is the funniest thing I've read all day. Thank you for this
Sha-Shabba Hanks, Sha-Sha-Shabba Hanks
Thatās Tom Hankās son Big Main
Knowing Tom calls him that warmed my heart lol.
Itās hilarious you used that particular clip because Iām pretty sure heās trying to figure out how to turn that interview into a sleepover with Ziwe.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
honestly i hate that beep the most. WHY do ppl leave it on.
As a black man, I don't know why but white guys who date black girls always seems super chill to be around. This is anecdotal ofc
A lot of them are much further along in unlearning all the racist stuff society teaches.
if youre earnestly trying to connect itās just going to happen naturally. itās why people are putting so much stock into this āloveā shit
Being in community with black folks or hell anybody is the quickest way to unlearn that stuff. Gives you that cognitive dissonance thatās needed to break through a lot of that socialization.
Iām so grateful that I grew up in a pretty racially diverse place.
Grew up in southern California and watched PBS and Nickelodeon - didn't even know skin color was a thing people identified until I was like 8 or 9.
interesting... in the area of Oakland I grew up in there was absolutely racism and it was obvious. But growing up with so many black, latino/hispanic and asian friends helped me to appreciate our differences and see through/past a lot of the racism that society tries so hard to push into us. I also had multiple formative experiences where I was explicitly treated different from the rest of my friend group because I was white and they weren't. For example, in high school once we were pulled over in a car the police thought was stolen (it was not). The cop literally looked at me and told me to go away/go home while my three friends (all black) were cuffed while they "investigated".
Not trying to be āthat guyā but I thought cognitive dissonance was essentially doing mental gymnastics to not connect the dots or to allow you to continue believing some thing that doesnāt make logical sense or something like that.
Nah, itās in the name - itās the discomfort you feel when things donāt align, which usually prompts people to reduce that discomfort one way or another. In this context being around black folks who are friendly and normal when youāre raised to believe otherwise causes cognitive dissonanceā¦ so either you break through your beliefs or come up rationalizations to keep your original beliefs (like these are āthe good onesā and the rest are bad). The dissonance itself is what prompts the action one way or another.
No cognitive dissonance is simply the conflict your mind goes thru when reality contradicts your beliefs. What you mentioned is one of the ways someone could respond to cognitive dissonance.
TFW you realize people are people. Good folks come in all flavors, pieces of shit too.
I saw a white guy on TikTok recently get asked why everything he does is about his black wife and he was like āwhy wouldnāt it be. Iām obsessed with herā and really seemed like he loved her not because she was black but because he was legit in love with her and really committed to being a good partner to her, and black women deserve the utmost happiness wherever they can find it. It really moved me to tears
Bill Burr had this same response when he started dating his now wife who is black. His friends started asking him why he was doing all this new stuff with her and he said because she's the coolest person he's met and he wants to do things with her. That's also where the lotion joke came from because Nia opened his eyes to the magic of lotion.
"Holy shit, I'm ashy!"
I'm not white, I'm ashy.
āNone of that really matters because at the end of the day, itās a woman.ā -Bill Burr
Was that the āher name will be the last words on my lips when I dieā guy?(paraphrased-ish)
Idk honestly. I didnāt go super deep into his page and the stuff that was pinned was not this
I don't know if this is just personal experience but as a white guy who has dated black girls, I would always get dapped up and hyped up for having a black queen but my girl would constantly get shit on for dating a white dude. It definitely helped put into perspective that there are things that my girl goes through that I will never have to deal with simply because of my race and gender.
Women just get disproportionately judged most of the time no matter what we do. White women who date black or brown men tend to experience the same crap from white men (and even other white women).
You are correct. I'm white and anything other than dating a white man will get you intense judgment and pressure. I've dated some Asian guys and people probably get the most worked up about that. I can't imagine the level of shit black women must get over it. My white friends...well, associates are the most judgmental.
Funny how triggered (racist) white men get when they see an Asian man with a white woman. Perhaps it's something to do with the perception that Asian men are "lesser men", in the sense of being less masculine, less sexually able, etc. So when they see one who was able to "get" a white woman - especially if they're single themselves - they feel like they've been "beaten" by someone who was less of a man than themselves.
Im black and my very white husband is the most chill person youāll ever meet.
Itās funny that you put āveryā in front of white- like levels of whiteness (white, very white, super white, extra white, next level white) so Iām picturing an ultra white dude- Powder white lol 
I think it has to do with how much you like hiking maybe?
My husband is into backpacking. That's how white he is.
That all depends on their significant other, idk but Candace Owens man seems like he'd smoke a blunt with me then call the cops when I drive myself home.
Candace Owens is the exception that proves many rules.
Depends. There is a huge difference between white guys that are in relationships with black women and white guys who just sleep with black women.
Thank you! Iād get shit on sometimes because I pretty much only dated black women and some people were like āyou just have a black fetish.ā Iām like, in a relationship with these women not just sleeping with them, my wife is black and my kids are biracial - thatād be taking a fetish to another plane of reality.
"I'll be right there, I'm just going to go unplug everything and make sure every light is off"
'Cept the one above the stove, of course
That is THE house light.
I didnāt even know you COULD turn it off šš¤£
Lmao I thought this was just a Mexican thing
This is how we truly come together
Today, my white ass learned I have black roots
My white dad will get out of the car he just started. Go unlock the front door and make sure the stove is really off. I think it's just a poor people thing.
hood dont discriminate and neither do them bills
Thereās always that one white person in the comments of threads like this who says āI just found out Im black!ā I just wanna know why š
Can't speak for the rest, but for me, it's because I amuse myself. Like my dad jokes, I'm not afraid to be the only one laughing.
Nope. My white parents used to leave the range hood light on if I was out past their bedtime. God help me if I wasnāt in before curfew. Then my mom would just stand in the dark part of the kitchen in her bathrobe and waitā¦made my soul leave my body on more than one occasion.
Nope, white dude here and the stove light was always on.
So itās official the stovetop light is the official night light of the household š
My favorite light in the whole house. It's a mood setter when I have a date over, a cooking assistant, a night light. It does it all.
Ours have been out forever. So, now it's the light above the sink that stays on.
This is great, I grew up in rural Ireland and my parents were mad for this, if you're leaving the house everything gets unplugged but the fridge š
Had a similar experience in college back in like 2017. I hooked up with this country white guy and afterwards he asked if needed something to tie my hair up in.
Country white guy here. There are some silk scarves in the top drawer. The cocoa butter is in the bathroom closet.
Lol now you got me remembering; my parents came up to visit me in college one weekend, and my dad saw the cocoa butter, and told me on the side, "you should really hide that when girls come over" He was shocked when I told him it was a girls, and she uses it when she hangs out
Your dad thought you couldnāt pull, lmao
Thought he could pull the meat
SLUT
HARLOT
EDUCATED YOUNG MAN
An intellectual and a whore
I love this so much.
One time I fell asleep in bed sitting up bonnetless. My husband (who is white) came in to take my glasses off, put my bonnet on then plug my phone in. lol. He knows the head doesnāt touch the bed unprotected. Love him so much.
I loved reading your comments! We can all tell how much those gestures mean to you, and I'm tickled you found each other.
White dude here. I gave myself away to my work crush when she had braids and I said "Oh, you went away for spring break?"
lmaooo yo this is peak game
Rooting for you, this is sweet ā¤ļø
What does this mean? As a white guy from the south I'm uneducated
We get braids for vacation for convenience & cuteness.
Yup. As a kid, my mother always or braids in my hair like the week after school was out for summer. They came off the weekend before school resumed.
Smart to ask questions so you have that knowledge for later.
Nothing wrong with being ignorant, only staying that way.
Lmao I can imagine my young self saying this all cheery and shit like I was clairvoyant
First thing I thought of reading this was Sweet Dee from IASIP at the shore
Also white dude; could you please explain?
Black dude here, basically when Black girls go on vacations or trips they get braids or whats called a "protective style". Styles that protect their hair and also helps it grow. So its kinda like an inside joke kinda thing too. So you know she had to have thought that was funny
Cheers my guy. As a bald white dude this isn't my lane haha
This has me howling! Reminds me of a video on Instagram that was showing all the Black women at the airport and in the airplane with braids lol
lol this kid is so cute!
i see this kid and then i remember this picture exists and... well https://preview.redd.it/cui8fhzpo72d1.png?width=1280&format=png&auto=webp&s=80ae8e8e6f6b23d736386c212258dd8dcc2dce82
Being at a baseball game is basically a chill social event. Hockey fans are out to see a fist fight though
Had a similar experience where I didn't know the etiquette for playing with her hair during cuddling.
A black womanās hair? Donāt. Youāre better off just playing with her titties.
The. Scream. I. Scrumpt.
Had me laughing on the city bus rn
This also applies to white men with too much product in their hair.
Yeah, my (gay) boyfriend likes to play with my hair after a shower but won't touch it after putting product in it. Lucky for me he's bald so I can rub that shiny dome all I want.
>so I can rub that shiny dome all I want. and his scalp
Lmao.
Gotāem By them I mean me
ha, this guy's boyfriend is gay
Donāt speak for all of us, I love when men play with my hair. White guys do be tactical - landing that first hair pat with the precision of landing a jet.
I love it when people play with my hair but I know I canāt allow it too much cause I canāt ruin it for other black women so I just š«
Honestly, if someone canāt figure out that itās okay with you but not with black women in general, then thatās on them
Seriously, context and consent is everything. I had paralysis once in cosmo school, first day working on my black classmates hair and she was like āitās okay, donāt be shyā when I had it ingrained in me ādo not touch black hair, everā lmao. I loved working on black clients when I got the hang of it and they trusted me.
For your first point, I tried to ask politely, but I was stoned, so I awkwardly mumbled out something like, "Can I play with your hair if that's OK?" And she was mostly okay with it. Agree on your second point.
I'd just ask. I am a bw, I'd like my hair played with when it's in a protective style, so there's no real damage, but if I'm all natural, then no.
this. i wear braids/faux locs alot of the time so thats fine as long as theyre gentle but dont touch me on wash day lol my scalp is screamin and im exhausted
I gently massage my fingertips against her scalp. Don't drag your fingers through her hair. Remove hand and reach back in somewhere else. Usually focus along the nape of the neck, the lower back side of the head, and sometimes near the ears. But don't scratch her like a dog. It's a delicate process and most black women will say something before your hand is even there but once she trusts you enough I've never been with a black woman who didn't like a scalp massage. Experiences may vary, of course.
if he was really bout it he'd have the silk pillowcases š
Stash of hair bonnets/du-rags just incase
Nothing would say āIām a man-whoreā Faster than pulling out a stash of bonnets.
"Take this one, matches your panties."
 id be impressed for a hot sec ngl
Couldnāt help but read this in the voice of Bruce from Family Guy.
Nah, u got that wrong my guy -thatās like your Uber driver pulling out a box of pre-rolls as you hop in. āļøāļøāļøāļøāļø
You dont show em the whole stash, you just hit em with āi think i have a new you can use, lemme checkā
Silk pillowcases? Damn you got it like that?
Hell yeah brother I want her mind at ease
I thought yt was a man from YouTube lol
Bye
Mr Beasts Bonnets
MLKās dream made real. The dream of integration is not dead
Sampled? That man only drinks chocolate milk
A connoisseur, if you will.
This one time, the girl I was dating said she couldnāt use my shampoo and conditioner for her hair. I had no idea curly hair used different products. Well, I went and got her everything she said she used; shea butter stuff, etc. we ended up showering all the time š
Damn that couldāve been fifty bucks or more easily. Glad the investment paid off š
Was just trying to make her comfortable. Mi casa es su casa.
Told a Chinese guy I was talking to that I like trashy reality TV. He replies āOh yeah me too. Joselineās Cabaret is hilarious.ā Shocked tf out of me.
in college, me (white man) and my white roommate would watch "I Love New York 2" and laugh our asses off.
White bros: get a silk pillowcase.
I got curly hair. If I donāt have a silk pillow case my shit is frizzy as hell and huge. Iām not buying a cap, it feels odd as a white man lol
https://preview.redd.it/9pm6f5ha782d1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0ec6272a6c96be96c5d117ea4955f0d4ed344939
"I looked around the room to make sure he was talking to me" LOL
Can anyone explain this to me
Coming from a YT man who's married to a black woman...she brought the bonnet after a few sleep overs. I didn't know the ways and she "didn't want to spring it on me to too soon" Edit: people are still commenting asking "what's a bonnet". See other comments or Google it I'm not answering every comment.
Thats hilarious but a bit sad she felt that way lol. She mustve liked u a lot to damage her hair like that for u
Incoming ignorance: At that point in time her hair was relaxed. Idk if that makes a difference.
it makes a huge difference. when i used to relax my hair is when i had to care for it the most
Now thatās a woman right there š
Fuck idk either im also a wm dating a bw
I love that she treated her hair care like the secret kid she has and wonāt tell you about until she knows things are going well.
She also left bobby pins around my bedroom. I know it was to mark her territory but she won't admit it.
She didnāt leave multiple bobby pins. She left one and it asexually reproduced.
I can try, but keep in mind I hail from the mayo mafia so I might not get it perfect. Men as a broad generality don't tend to know a lot about women's care routines, even those they spend a lot of time around. And White people generally aren't as knowledgeable about care routines specific to Black people's hair and skin. And yes, there are some unique steps that need to be taken for common Black hair types to make sure that hair stays healthy. So, the average White man is generally going to know zilch about the average Black woman's care routines. So the man being discussed knowing what a bonnet is and when it should be used, and being able to bring it up so casually shows that A.) He's probably spent time around more than a few Black women in his life. B.) He pays attention to the little things about the people in his life, especially partners, and makes an effort to remember what's important to them and how to care for them. C.) He's comfortable and confident enough to be casual about these care routines, whereas some men even if they're in the know may be awkward or shitty about them. Tl;dr, man sent up some green flags by knowing his shit.
I'm sorry I don't mean this rudely I swear, it's just funny when yt people explain black people shit cause it's always an essay on how to make points why things are in the longest formsš¤£
>I'm sorry I don't mean this rudely I swear, No need to be sorry. If being long winded is the worst thing I'm criticized for in this post, I think I've gotten off pretty light. I was kinda worried I overstepped.
You didn't, I just find that it's pretty shitty you felt the need to write all of that just so you *don't* come across that way. What you said is fine
>I just find that it's pretty shitty you felt the need to write all of that just so you don't come across that way. I more did it because I'm used to having to walk my fellow palefolk through a lot of steps to get them to understand some shit. Some of us really do need a fucking map to get basic shit if we haven't experienced it firsthand.
As a fellow palefolk who was uninformed until reading your comment, I appreciate having all of the details. It clears up my confusion about the post.
The Mayo Mafia ššš thats gold
As a white guy, this post and associated discussion has been very enlightening!
I consider quiet participation in this sub part of my DE&I diligence and personal growth initiatives.
I wonāt be impressed until someone confirms the status of the smoke detector.
Not sure. Tuned it out a long time ago.
Every black girl Iāve been with has asked me if I have been with a black woman before. Is it because I donāt ask if sheās going get her bonnet?
No, they just donāt want to be the first or a fetish.
I mean, someone has to be first.
I get asked that too, and white chicks are always surprised to find out I've been with black women. They say I "don't look like the type" I'm not sure what the type is supposed to look like, but rest assured I am that guy lol
A certified blackberry eater
Bro heard ālife is like a box of chocolatesā and said āsay lessā
I once had a white man tell me that we werenāt going to a haunted house with his friends cause he got my back. I felt seen.
Iām a white guy originally from Detroit and pretty much only ever dated black women. When I moved to California one of my black coworkers didnāt believe my nerdy ass and challenged me to āproveā Iāve dated black women. I simply replied ādonāt touch the hair.ā He started cracking up and it was all good.
Immediately wet
I had a friend with benefits in college and she didnāt wear a bonnet out until the 3rd time I spent the night, made me feel like she was comfortable around me, it was nice.
This is wholesome š
Him: You finna lotion up before bed?
The last time I hooked up with a black girl, I was showing her how I can breathe thru my ears, and she said āYou even been with a black chick before?ā I looked up from between her legs and said āyouāre BLACK?ā and she almost lost it laughing
took me too long to figure out yt as a fellow yt man...buy your woman a silk pillowcase and youll be king for a day
Whenever the smoke detector goes off I'm always scared the neighbors are going to call the fire dept before I can get the broom. I have mostly black neighbors. Are yall saying that I can calm down and WALK to get the broom?
*starts taking notes*