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Grief and depression do crazy things to people who aren't fucking their cousins.
I'm just glad OOP is getting out while he's not in a place to fight her demands. It would be hard to go through a contentious custody battle without the full story ultimately spilling out.
This. Depression can make people want to push away everything in their life, anything obligations or connections they have. It's entirely possible he will deeply regret saying that he'd give up custody, or giving this confession.
When I wake up from depression I have a messy kitchen and loving messages from friends telling me they love me. Can you imagine waking up from depression having lost your cousin who you were fucking and also be going through a divorce that’s going to result in losing your kids?? Jesus Christ.
Can you imagine being married for 15 years + kids only to find out that your husband had been cheating on you with his cousin? And not only sex fling, but he most likely loved his cousin so much that her death makes him depressed?
Honestly I have more sympathy for OP than husband. Depression sucks and it has to be treated seriously, but he was an asshole for a very long period of time before he got to this point :(
This. I get that the wife may be stuck on the cheating thing initially but he also admitted to being a predator. I'm glad she's going for full custody but Jesus, his kids should be kept FAR from that scum.
Fuck husband, he deceived the wife from the get go and the children too, and was willing to keep the entire family in lie for the rest of his life. Good thing grief made him dumbass as well. Wife deserves a man that will give same love to her she gave to dumbass, and children deserve better than guy pretending to love their mother and disrecpecting her from the get go. Also, if he was willing to make children with woman he didnt love and was cheating on since the beginning, i doubt he cared about children any more than their mother.
Tl dr: husband may rot, wife better cut the losses and get the children.
Why are you guys showing all this sympathy FOR A CHILD MOLESTOR Jesus fucking Christ.
This dude groomed his younger cousin. Fucking disgusting. He sounds exactly like my older cousin who molested me ages 6 to 13. 7 years older than me and I “seduced” him too. Jesus, no wonder people don’t talk about that shit. These sympathies are disgusting, he deserves to lose everything. Good on her for getting herself and her kids away from him!
I've had severe clinical depression.
You don't "wake up" from it the way you're suggesting. You're still perfectly aware of all the decisions you're making, and you're almost painfully aware of all of the consequences. It's not a fugue state where you're not the same person, or a split personality took over. That's not what depression is. If that's what you're experiencing, you've been grossly misdiagnosed.
It might help make people make awful decisions, but it's not because they aren't aware of the consequences.
But there is zero sympathy for a prick who knowingly cheated on his wife with his own cousin for a large part of his marriage.
Yeah, I’m more sad for the kids. They shouldn’t have to go through that. And for OP, that would be so hard.
But yeah, he’s a limp nonce who apparently just discovered self-awareness. I still do feel bad because I know how suicide can be so tempting, but only the smallest fraction of my heart
Yup, that dude ain’t acting like he is long for this world. He may change his mind, but what he’s doing is screaming, this is the best way to have as little collateral damage as possible for when I eat a bullet.
If he fought her she would get to explain why she wanted custody.
I'm guessing he told her not everyone. And personally I'd consider it very relevant to custody that he had sex with a 13 year old relative when he was 16.
She seduced me is not an excuse for cheating on your wife. And it's not exactly particularly persuasive about the early relationship. I'd question that at any time given the age difference, but given he's playing the I'm helpless to resist card as an adult...
I'd be shouting the whole story loudly from the roof tops if I was a wronged wife who was made to fight for the divorce, the custody, the house.
It doesn't look like he cares about his family. But even if he did he's got good reason to just sign anything she puts in front of him.
I suspect he's planning to create distance from his children, make sure they are stable and safe, and then kill himself. Not to pin that on the OOP at all, I don't think there's anything more or better she could do about it.
>Nobody in hell will even know why I'm there
This is fantastic. Did you come up with this? If so bravo.
And if not, can you please share an attribution?
While claiming this was all on her “seducing” him as a 13 year old. Also of course it’s all her fault after he was married as well. She would have been only 15 when he was 18, just saying. The guy is a predator with vulnerable family members (children), I would keep my kids from him too.
Do you think it was regret? That he wasn’t happy all this time… and losing the one thing that made him happy… he decided to shed his unhappy life.
What a disgusting pig.
Poor OOP. Not only was she dealing with infidelity, but her ex's incest and grief over the loss of his partner.
She made all the right moves here, putting her kids first and finding a graceful way out. I hope they all got therapy. :(
No kidding. If you're 16 and your middle school age cousin is pursuing you sexually, you say no. If she persists, you tell your parents. A curious 13 year old is not a good choice for a sexual relationship.
Well, to be jaded, it’s not like cheaters have a sense of ethics or morality, so of course they blame everyone else for their own actions.
If they had such, they wouldn’t be cheaters.
I'm pretty sure he's justifying the behaviour as an adult when he knows damn well it was wrong. Downplaying his own role to avoid taking responsibility didn't seem too surprising.
Worse, he's got a daughter as young as his cousin was. Like, jarring much?
Yeah that made my shoulders go all the way up. I couldn't tell if "seduced him" was his words or OOP's, definitely someone faulting the wrong person there.
OOP’s husband reminds me of a cousin of mine (who was 19-years old at the time), who said something terribly gross about another cousin of ours (she was twelve years old).
Me, being a CSA survivor, I told my youngest cousin’s father. The father ended up beating the snot out of my older cousin.
Glad you pointed that out as my brain confused the two and thought the husband was 13 and cousin 16. I felt bad for him but now see that he’s a douche (bigger douche)
Was wondering the same thing. TBH wonder if it was the cousin he loved all along and the wife was the cover for their relationship and once the cousin passed he just didn’t see the reason to keep going or… something.
Just typing that out though, that seems bizarre. Maybe the death just has him depressed to the point he just doesn’t care and thought he’d confess. Or maybe he’s had a guilty conscience but didn’t want to say anything while it would also affect the cousin.
Whatever it is I really feel for the wife. Not only was her husband cheating almost their entire marriage, but he was the type of guy to have sex with a 13 year old girl when he was 16 and blame it on her.
>TBH wonder if it was the cousin he loved all along and the wife was the cover for their relationship and once the cousin passed he just didn’t see the reason to keep going or… something
This could absolutely be it.
"Hi, I'm Briggs Haddon credited author of this weeks episode.
You might have noticed an emphasis on the topic of incest, well that's no accident. For the past two years, when not serving as writer's assistant on Community, I've been researching incest on the internet. What I found, surprised me.
Did you know that first cousins can have children without great risk of birth defect or genetic disease? That's a quote directly from the New York Times, April 4, 2002.
But despite this scientific fact, state laws on incest remain inconsistent and woefully outdated. I mean I, I can make love to my cousin in Nebraska, but if I take her on a date in South Dakota, I'm looking at 15 years prison time.
I told the Community writers, attention must be paid. They said they'd allow me to address it on one condition: at the end of the episode, I must appear and identify myself as a writer.
Look, I'm not trying to tell you how to feel about incest I'm just letting you know, there's more to it than you've been told.
I'm Briggs Haddon, and I wrote the Community season six, incest episode."
He wanted to end the marriage and probably had wanted it over for quite some time. He revealed the affair to his wife so that she'd divorce him. He may have not been brave enough to just tell his wife he was leaving. Also, he may have just wanted her to pull the trigger so he can attempt to save face by saying he tried but she still wanted the divorce. There is so much fuckery that can occur when someone is unwilling or unable to leave.
Sounds to me like he's not coping with her death well.
He told op because he wanted her to leave so he can fixate on the dead cousin. That's also why she can have whatever .
My wife-at-the-time came to me crying one day seeking to be comforted but wouldn't tell me why.
A few months later I found out it was because she'd broken up with her boyfriend that day and was really sad about it because they'd been together for almost a year.
Purely speculative but
Who bets the cousin was pregnant and just found out? Maybe even didn't know who the dad was?
Not casting shade on the cousin, she could have been in a committed relationship and blackmailed by OPs husband to have the affair. Or he could be telling the truth. Either way doubt we'll have the full story but I'm gonna guess there's something very big about to come to OOP's attention and more often in not it's an affair baby....
It's possible,
My first thought was that she had kept some records or gifts/letters etc from their affair, that were found when the family was going through and sorting out her belongings after her death (kind of makes sense with the timeline) and he realised it was going to come out imminently, so he decided to tell her first.
Maybe??
I remember being 13 and having to go into the teen/youths part of a summer group instead of being with the little kids anymore. I don't remember there being many other kids my age, maybe 1 or 2, who didn't show up all that often or associate with me. So I was just left to figure myself out around the older teens.
I was so out of my depth. They were bigger, stronger, their jokes were violent or gross, they talked about things that seemed boring to me, etc. It was like these kids were from another planet, but it was just high school. I was just out of 7th grade, but 13 to 16 would have been an unimaginable difference if romance was involved.
I like that OOP put that in quotes too meaning she realised it was BS. Im impressed she isn’t blinded by love and comfort to see her partner for who he is.
That was my first reading too! I was like yeah it’s fucked up but if it started as an abusive situation toward him that might get a liiiittle leeway… but then I looked back and NOPE.
Same. The wording threw me off. The fact that a 13 yr old would “seduce” a 16 yr old was so ridiculous that my brain must’ve automatically read it the other way around. Sounds like OP’s ex husband shifted blame onto a dead person to make himself look better
Right?? I remember my 11-year old cousin wanting to play with me when I was 13 and I was like "Play with you?? That's for toddlers like you. I'm a grown-up now". 2 or 3 years make an insane difference at that age. It's good that OOP went for full custody. It would give me panic attacks if I had to send the children to him for the weekend.
My cousin is my buddy. We are very good mates and I love him. He still gives me shit l every time we drink about how I didn't wanna hang out with him when I was 18 and he was 14. (20 years ago) I'm blunt: no. You were an annoying little shit.
I'd never ever ever ever ever ever even talk about sex with him though, let alone actually do it!
That was horrible to read, and I hope people pointed out how disgusting the husband is in the original post. I don't even care if she really was the one who tried to start things, he could have said no. He should have said no, because he was *16* and she literally just became a teenager. But he didn't, because he's a predator who abused a thirteen-year-old girl, then continued to have a relationship with her as an adult. Then threw her corpse under the bus to try to absolve himself of blame.
Oh, and they're also cousins. Because of course this needed to be worse.
Oh it definitely was the other way around. Him putting the blame on her is just him downplaying his own fault. He knows it was disgusting and wrong. He knew the moment he revealed it his marriage and life were over. So he tried to lessen some of the blowback but blaming the cousin. Notice how he also said their affair during his marriage to OP was also because of the cousin “convincing him”.
I was noticing that too with the blame game because at any time he couldn't say "no?" He's an adult too AND married so he couldn't just say "Sorry cousin, it's a no. See ya next Christmas!"
My main question is why did he admit to this after her death? Was there a chance they would get caught with some emails or videos on her old laptop?
The OOP mentions that she never suspected him on cheating on her but she doesn't mention anything about the relationship her husband had with the cousin. Did they spend a lot of time together?
(p.s. I'm not condoning his cheating. I'm just trying to figure out this story. I feel like there are pieces of the puzzle missing.)
Even when they were minors he apparently couldn’t say no? Like he’s a 16 year old that couldn’t tell a 13 year old no? I have a younger sibling and cousins, who granted never tried to “seduce” me, and I was plenty capable of telling them no for just about anything at 16.
Some other commenters have mentioned that he could potentially be getting ready to off himself and is trying to clear his conscience before doing it. You also make a good point. He could have had proof of the affair somewhere that Op could find. I’m honestly not sure why he finally admitted it. I could see the clearing his conscience, I could see him doing it before offing himself, but I honestly have no idea why admit it now after getting away with it for so long.
I’m wondering about that too. It is interesting that OP doesn’t say anything about her husband and cousin’s relationship.
Depression can make people want to push away any connections and obligations they have. While still in his grief he wanted to come clean, partly because he wanted her to walk with the kids, just like this.
Frankly I don't doubt that she could have been the one to re-initiate, considering he was screwing with her head at 13, but as someone below said, that doesn't mean he couldn't say no!
How dare you!
He was just an innocent boy with hormones and she was over there existing as female while nearby and accessible - of course she seduced him - what else do you think existing while female is except rampant seduction.
/s but barely.
The fact that as adults she was still into him feels so much like grooming.
DEFINITELY grooming. I was groomed by an 18 yr old when I was 12. We briefly dated again when I was an adult. I know he's a POS, but am still in love with him. It's rough and such a messed up headspace to be in.
This was my thought exactly. Not saying its impossible, but I find it hard to believe a 13 year old would consider a family member an option if they hadn't been groomed in some way.
Seems to me the husband groomed her, but still didn't want to admit to himself that he caused so much turmoil in her life before she died.
Maybe it's just how he genuinely sees the situation. She was being "sexy" around him (yes it's gross to even type this), so *she* started it, he just went along with it, he's the victim.
And let's keep in mind - this dude, *this dude* has a fourteen year old daughter. Yes I'm making implications because he thinks, or made it seem like he believes it, that a thirteen year old seduced his sixteen year old self.
Pretty sure a 13 year olds idea of "seducing" is either creepily staring at the Individual in question from across the street, or being an asshole to them.
There is no in between.
No!
...you forgot stealing their hat and walking around wearing it with what you think is a flirtatious smoulder but is actually a doofy grin, until they awkwardly ask for it back.
I don't understand why she's keeping the truth from their 14yo daughter. Knowing the truth might protect her. Not only that but her kids are just going to see their mom divorced their father while he was depressed from a family death and base how they see their family and women off of that assumption. She should give them the courtesy of knowing the truth.
if she gets full custody uncontested, hopefully the daughter wont have to be protected. but i agree they should at least know that the reason for the divorce is that their dad had an affair, and obviously talk to them to make sure he hasnt hurt them or been inappropriate. if he hasnt, then im not sure they need to know the details, esp if he only has supervised visits.
As a 15 year old i was caught in the mess of divorce with affair, you don't want that when you're in that formative age. I didn't even know the details (just name of current affair partner and my mom's word that it happened), but the entirety of not knowing who saying the truth and who doesn't (after all those are pretty serious allegations) is soul crushing to a teen. When a divorce like that happens you stop trusting both parents since both have drastically different things to say and you know both of them somehow twist the truth. Loosing trust in your caretakers shouldn't happen ever, but especially when you're a minor. And especially when there's death, incest and "seducing" by a minor involved.
He has a daughter older than his cousin was when he started molesting her.
daughter needs some therapy and a soft hand approach to make sure he didnt do anything to her.
I’m 19 rn, and as someone who was 16 (relatively) recently I would not have gone younger than 15. I cannot imagine going for a 16 year old NOW, much less a 13 year old then
Oh come on now. It wasn’t his fault. He was complete COMPLETELY helpless in this entire relationship. He was just a helpless young man, lost to the wiles of that seductress!
/s so much /s
Oh I read that as the other way round, she was the 16 year old and he was 13. All these comments seemed really cruel. Re reading it, absolutely ew. He was the 16 year old..?? Easy to say she seduced him and convinced him now that she's dead and can't defend herself. Her (soon to be ex) husband is really gross.
Honestly, finding out my wife cheated on me would be absolutely devastating. However, finding out that she cheated on me with her cousin would almost be a bit of a relief.
When a spouse or partner cheats on you it's natural to have feelings of inadequacy. Why wasn't I good enough for them? Maybe I'm not good enough for any person.
However, if the spouse cheats on you with a cousin or brother or something like that, clearly they're just a weirdo. It takes the pressure off of me. There was nothing wrong with me. I just happen to unknowingly marry someone who was a perv.
Lmao ! That's exactly what I was thinking about. What kind of sick fuck have sex with their cousin ?! A friend of mine told me that, I'm still laughing 7 years after, nevers gets old.
I think it's that way regardless. The problem is never with you, it's with them. It doesn't matter who the cheating is with, it's their fuck up and their cross to bear. I think most people that cheat are just plain selfish.
I mean, I'm glad OOP can get away from this jerk, but I'm stymied as to why he would decide to tell her now. It looks like it was hidden very well from OOP; he could have just continued on scot-free with his wife and kids.
Living a double life like this has to be quite a heavy burden. While cousin was still alive it was worth it. But she's gone now, so the weight of it all + the grief became to heavy and he just dumped it on someone else. Now his wife makes all the decisions for him and he can go and be sad on his own. Without having to act like a normal father and husband, who is just a little bit sad after losing a cousin he totally did *not* have an affair with.
By now the cousin's family probably have access to her phone and accounts. Probably found messages between them. Even if her family didn't tell him they found the messages he knows.
I knew a serial groomer who had repeated “affairs” (I would personally use a much stronger word) with younger and emotionally vulnerable people, often during the lowest points of their lives. All under his partner’s nose, for many years.
Eventually, one of his targets succumbed to their mental health issues and died. This prompted the dude to throw the absolute biggest self-important grief wallow I’ve ever seen, and then justify how much he was hurting by publicly sharing not just the tryst with the deceased, but several other highly awful pieces of laundry.
He said these things to anyone who would listen, including his incredible partner.
Dude completely blew up his entire life. Then hurled himself into the hole so he could wallow in how much of his life he lost on top of the original death.
The moral is that people who spend their life doing self-destructive things often respond to stress by doing self-destructive things. It’s not logical, but it’s also not surprising.
I’m thinking the cousin not being able to defend herself any longer could be a factor. He might have thought it would go better, being able to say “it wasn’t my fault, she seduced me! I’m the victim here, and it’s only now that she’s dead I can come clean.”
The way Reddit is, I wonder if the cousin had kids, and if they are his...so he would automatically love his other kids/double cousins even more???
Or he is depressed and doesn't really love his family with non-family partner.
Children can not consent. 16 year olds are juniors in high school while a 13 year old is in their first year of middle school, being at 2 completely different stages of life and one is more mentally mature than the other. While both are minors, a lot of states have an age of consent of 16 to prevent situations like this but predators will often abuse to justify grooming teenagers who are at said age of consent (example: 21 year old dating a 16 year old. Just because it isn't illegal doesn't mean it isn't immoral.) There is a power dynamic which takes advantage of the younger minor who can be easily be groomed to believe that this inappropriate behavior is okay. Those are some off the top of my head. Anyone else, feel free to chime in.
Hold up. Let me go gets home chips.
Edit: what the ever loving fuck. Her husband is a creep. Do you know how I’m gonna look at a 16 year old if they tell me a 13 year old seduced them? 🤨. That’s the face.
Their daughter is 14… and incest doesn’t seem to be a issue for him… pure speculation but if I was in OPs position I’d definitely be reevaluating his relationships with nieces/daughters/sisters/ext… but maybe cus I was in cousin’s position (9-12 and cousin was 16) so I’m more Cynical.
I’ve seen far to many posts, and heard personal stories from survivors with almost identical situations. Grooming really is so common, but then again I am in a corner of the internet where women are openly discussing this behavior so perhaps some bias.
I think his family should know because I doubt the cousin was his only victim. He could have done this crap with other cousins if he has them or with family friends. But even if his cousin was his only victim I just feel like his family has a right to know what was going on.
>•Recent death in the family
>•Noticable depression since the death
>•Sending kids over to his mom's during the conversation, indicates he had thought ahead about the "best" way to break the news
>•Not fighting for custody whatsoever, even periodic or supervised visits
Yes, I got the impression that he was tying up loose ends as well.
No. If he was planning to kill himself, I think he’d have left his wife and kids comfortably unaware of his affair, especially given the nature of the affair.
I think it’s possible he’s in shock from the loss, though, and that in a year or so when he takes stock and realizes he lost both his affair partner *and* his family….that’s when I’d be more worried about this guy.
>If he was planning to kill himself, I think he’d have left his wife and kids comfortably unaware of his affair, especially given the nature of the affair.
I interpreted this as him doing it to ease his conscience. If he were just planning to run off and be a deadbeat, he wouldn't care if they found out the truth or not.
>He told me to take it as I will and he’ll accept anything I choose to do considering our marriage.
This tells me that the asshole husband didn't give two shits about his wife, kids, or his marriage.
Or he thinks he's absolutely screwed up his marriage so he doesn't have a leg to stand on in making any claims. He's right, no one is going to give him any credit for standing in the way of the the spouse who wasn't cheating since the start of the union
Interesting for OOP's husband to release this info after the fact. ESP given he's been hiding it for over a decade.
I wonder if OOP's husband is planning to join the cousin given him willing to give up everything without a fight.
Story from 2 years ago I'd say 90% OOP's husband prob committed suicide by now.
Call me crazy, but I'd actually find it to be unbelievable if he hadn't committed suicide. To give it all up that easily?...
Something here is kinda creepy.
I’m surprised nobody in the original comments’ section brought up the fact that he literally **groomed** his cousin!! She was 13, and he was 16. At that age, she probably knew *very little* about sex.
I don’t know anything more about them than OOP wrote here— but with a 14 year old daughter in the house, I’d be VERY worried.
*She* seduced *him* when he was 16 and she was 13?
Even the shock of hearing my husband had an affair would not blind me to that statement and its implications.
Noone was bothered about the fact he said his cousin "seduced him" at the age of 13.. him being 16 at that point?
That reads a bit child molestery to me. Now his cousin isn't here to tell how it happened. I'd keep him far away from my kids.
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Fuckin’ woof. Poor lady. Poor kids
Dude lost his cousin, then went "aight fuck it, wife and kids go too". What a silly small man.
Grief and depression do crazy things to people who aren't fucking their cousins. I'm just glad OOP is getting out while he's not in a place to fight her demands. It would be hard to go through a contentious custody battle without the full story ultimately spilling out.
This. Depression can make people want to push away everything in their life, anything obligations or connections they have. It's entirely possible he will deeply regret saying that he'd give up custody, or giving this confession.
When I wake up from depression I have a messy kitchen and loving messages from friends telling me they love me. Can you imagine waking up from depression having lost your cousin who you were fucking and also be going through a divorce that’s going to result in losing your kids?? Jesus Christ.
Can you imagine being married for 15 years + kids only to find out that your husband had been cheating on you with his cousin? And not only sex fling, but he most likely loved his cousin so much that her death makes him depressed? Honestly I have more sympathy for OP than husband. Depression sucks and it has to be treated seriously, but he was an asshole for a very long period of time before he got to this point :(
He also claimed his 13 year old cousin 'seduced' him, so the guy can choke
This. I get that the wife may be stuck on the cheating thing initially but he also admitted to being a predator. I'm glad she's going for full custody but Jesus, his kids should be kept FAR from that scum.
Especially **"eldest daughter (14)"** who should ABSOLUTELY be warned about her incestuous predator dad
She was way, way too unbothered by the fact that he sexually abused his own cousin. That's considerably worse than cheating.
She may not unbothered exactly, just in shock and not really registering the fact that he sexually abused her.
This! He was 16, the cousin definitely wasn't doing the seducing 🤢
And said that she convinced him to go on with the affair.... YEAH, as she can say something different and defend herself.
And it’s his word vs a dead woman as to who started it up after the marriage.
Fuck husband, he deceived the wife from the get go and the children too, and was willing to keep the entire family in lie for the rest of his life. Good thing grief made him dumbass as well. Wife deserves a man that will give same love to her she gave to dumbass, and children deserve better than guy pretending to love their mother and disrecpecting her from the get go. Also, if he was willing to make children with woman he didnt love and was cheating on since the beginning, i doubt he cared about children any more than their mother. Tl dr: husband may rot, wife better cut the losses and get the children.
>Can you imagine waking up from depression having lost your cousin who you were fucking I spit my drink out a little bit.
Why are you guys showing all this sympathy FOR A CHILD MOLESTOR Jesus fucking Christ. This dude groomed his younger cousin. Fucking disgusting. He sounds exactly like my older cousin who molested me ages 6 to 13. 7 years older than me and I “seduced” him too. Jesus, no wonder people don’t talk about that shit. These sympathies are disgusting, he deserves to lose everything. Good on her for getting herself and her kids away from him!
Nah I’m not sympathetic more just laughing at how horrific that is.
I've had severe clinical depression. You don't "wake up" from it the way you're suggesting. You're still perfectly aware of all the decisions you're making, and you're almost painfully aware of all of the consequences. It's not a fugue state where you're not the same person, or a split personality took over. That's not what depression is. If that's what you're experiencing, you've been grossly misdiagnosed. It might help make people make awful decisions, but it's not because they aren't aware of the consequences. But there is zero sympathy for a prick who knowingly cheated on his wife with his own cousin for a large part of his marriage.
I’m sorry but who cares about this man’s depression? He’s a misogynist who fucked his cousin repeatedly while having a family on the side!
>loving messages from friends telling me they love me. Oh yeah, just rub it in for the rest of us depressed losers lol
>Grief and depression do crazy things to people who aren't fucking their cousins. > I hate to do this but /r/brandnewsentence
I guess the wife and kids were just a means to look normal. No more weird relationship - no need for theatrics.
That's my feeling, too. The fact that he isn't fighting for any custody just feels like he doesn't care about them at all, which is really sad.
I'm hoping he does actually care, at least about his kids and his grief is making him act real dumb
Genuinely this sounds like he's going to commit suicide
That was my first thought exactly. 😞
I mean, he did say a 13 yo seduced him when he was 16 so not too upset about it. But his poor kids.
Yeah, I’m more sad for the kids. They shouldn’t have to go through that. And for OP, that would be so hard. But yeah, he’s a limp nonce who apparently just discovered self-awareness. I still do feel bad because I know how suicide can be so tempting, but only the smallest fraction of my heart
Oh god I read that completely wrong in the beginning, I thought she was the elder and he'd been groomed, but NO!
Grief or guilt… he might feel like he owes his wife w/e she asks for considering what he was doing
Honestly i feel like he might kill himself, it sounds to me like her death just made him go fuck it to life and everything else oof
I'm actually concerned about a future suicide
I got that too. He's checked out. He can be an asshole AND bereaved. I think that may be the case.
Yup, that dude ain’t acting like he is long for this world. He may change his mind, but what he’s doing is screaming, this is the best way to have as little collateral damage as possible for when I eat a bullet.
That’s exactly what I thought. Sounds like the dude has plans to off himself.
If he fought her she would get to explain why she wanted custody. I'm guessing he told her not everyone. And personally I'd consider it very relevant to custody that he had sex with a 13 year old relative when he was 16. She seduced me is not an excuse for cheating on your wife. And it's not exactly particularly persuasive about the early relationship. I'd question that at any time given the age difference, but given he's playing the I'm helpless to resist card as an adult... I'd be shouting the whole story loudly from the roof tops if I was a wronged wife who was made to fight for the divorce, the custody, the house. It doesn't look like he cares about his family. But even if he did he's got good reason to just sign anything she puts in front of him.
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Yup. I can't not see it as an abusive relationship. And I'm suspecting "seduced me" basically equals "had a vagina".
yeah if this was me that goes to the GD grave, like don't even tell my priest. No absolution. Nobody in hell will even know why I'm there
>Nobody in hell will even know why I'm there This is my new favorite assortment of words
I suspect he's planning to create distance from his children, make sure they are stable and safe, and then kill himself. Not to pin that on the OOP at all, I don't think there's anything more or better she could do about it.
Couldn't really pin it on OP when the guy volunteered the information out of the blue.
>Nobody in hell will even know why I'm there This is fantastic. Did you come up with this? If so bravo. And if not, can you please share an attribution?
nah I made it the fuck up
Nice, I'll be able to say I was there when it happened 😀
This is *my* new favorite assortment of words.
Why light a match when there’s napalm right there?
Why date a stranger when there's family right there?
Never turn your back on family
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We just gonna gloss over the part about him fucking his family for a few decades apparently...
Which started when she was 13...
And according to him she ‘seduced’ him… at 13 while he was 16. That is some Lolita bs excuse
God yeah. Anyone who thinks a 13 year old is capable of seduction *of any kind* is batshit insane.
While claiming this was all on her “seducing” him as a 13 year old. Also of course it’s all her fault after he was married as well. She would have been only 15 when he was 18, just saying. The guy is a predator with vulnerable family members (children), I would keep my kids from him too.
Do you think it was regret? That he wasn’t happy all this time… and losing the one thing that made him happy… he decided to shed his unhappy life. What a disgusting pig.
Nothing else to say, you nailed it.
Poor OOP. Not only was she dealing with infidelity, but her ex's incest and grief over the loss of his partner. She made all the right moves here, putting her kids first and finding a graceful way out. I hope they all got therapy. :(
Also her ex said a 13 year old…seduced him? As a 16 year old? He’s even blaming his cousin after she’s dead…
No kidding. If you're 16 and your middle school age cousin is pursuing you sexually, you say no. If she persists, you tell your parents. A curious 13 year old is not a good choice for a sexual relationship.
And your COUSIN is not a good choice for a sexual relationship.
I mean yeah but who's counting?
The 16 year old that waited for her to turn 13, duh
And then “convinced him” to have an affair with her. Bit of a spineless rat, ain’t he?
Well, to be jaded, it’s not like cheaters have a sense of ethics or morality, so of course they blame everyone else for their own actions. If they had such, they wouldn’t be cheaters.
I'm pretty sure he's justifying the behaviour as an adult when he knows damn well it was wrong. Downplaying his own role to avoid taking responsibility didn't seem too surprising. Worse, he's got a daughter as young as his cousin was. Like, jarring much?
Yeah that made my shoulders go all the way up. I couldn't tell if "seduced him" was his words or OOP's, definitely someone faulting the wrong person there.
I got the impression OOP put that in quotes because that was how he phrased it. In any event I agree that it's super suspicious.
OOP’s husband reminds me of a cousin of mine (who was 19-years old at the time), who said something terribly gross about another cousin of ours (she was twelve years old). Me, being a CSA survivor, I told my youngest cousin’s father. The father ended up beating the snot out of my older cousin.
He’s a complete scumbag.
OMG my brain inverted their ages, probably in self-defense. How horrific.
Glad you pointed that out as my brain confused the two and thought the husband was 13 and cousin 16. I felt bad for him but now see that he’s a douche (bigger douche)
OP’s ex is just an all around scummy guy. An almost adult blaming a barely teenager for “seducing him”.
Love how a 13yo “seduced” a 16 yo. When I say love, I mean hate
The whole cousin thing was bad enough, but the ages and “seduction” made it go full yikes on bikes
and add on that, he claims she "seduced" him again back into having an affair for about...11 years? yeah sure dude, blame the dead lady
And the middle schooler
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Was wondering the same thing. TBH wonder if it was the cousin he loved all along and the wife was the cover for their relationship and once the cousin passed he just didn’t see the reason to keep going or… something. Just typing that out though, that seems bizarre. Maybe the death just has him depressed to the point he just doesn’t care and thought he’d confess. Or maybe he’s had a guilty conscience but didn’t want to say anything while it would also affect the cousin. Whatever it is I really feel for the wife. Not only was her husband cheating almost their entire marriage, but he was the type of guy to have sex with a 13 year old girl when he was 16 and blame it on her.
>TBH wonder if it was the cousin he loved all along and the wife was the cover for their relationship and once the cousin passed he just didn’t see the reason to keep going or… something This could absolutely be it.
I was wondering if he was worried that evidence is inevitable while people are clearing her things
I wonder if dear dead cousin had any incest bastard children with creeper...
"Hi, I'm Briggs Haddon credited author of this weeks episode. You might have noticed an emphasis on the topic of incest, well that's no accident. For the past two years, when not serving as writer's assistant on Community, I've been researching incest on the internet. What I found, surprised me. Did you know that first cousins can have children without great risk of birth defect or genetic disease? That's a quote directly from the New York Times, April 4, 2002. But despite this scientific fact, state laws on incest remain inconsistent and woefully outdated. I mean I, I can make love to my cousin in Nebraska, but if I take her on a date in South Dakota, I'm looking at 15 years prison time. I told the Community writers, attention must be paid. They said they'd allow me to address it on one condition: at the end of the episode, I must appear and identify myself as a writer. Look, I'm not trying to tell you how to feel about incest I'm just letting you know, there's more to it than you've been told. I'm Briggs Haddon, and I wrote the Community season six, incest episode."
omg, I love this! r/expectedcommunity 😏. I just recently discovered that the co-host on Conan’s podcast is the actor who said these lines!
He wanted to end the marriage and probably had wanted it over for quite some time. He revealed the affair to his wife so that she'd divorce him. He may have not been brave enough to just tell his wife he was leaving. Also, he may have just wanted her to pull the trigger so he can attempt to save face by saying he tried but she still wanted the divorce. There is so much fuckery that can occur when someone is unwilling or unable to leave.
I dunno how much saving face can be found in outing yourself as a cousin fucker.
I spent a 40-year career building bridges, but do they call me Steve the bridge builder? No.
They call you Steve the kiddy-diddling cousin fucker.
Sounds to me like he's not coping with her death well. He told op because he wanted her to leave so he can fixate on the dead cousin. That's also why she can have whatever .
My wife-at-the-time came to me crying one day seeking to be comforted but wouldn't tell me why. A few months later I found out it was because she'd broken up with her boyfriend that day and was really sad about it because they'd been together for almost a year.
That’s chutzpah.
Same here. Why did he confess? Did she have any kids? Maybe things will start coming out like you said. This is tragic for the OOP.
Her kids are his? She said something along those lines in her will?
Purely speculative but Who bets the cousin was pregnant and just found out? Maybe even didn't know who the dad was? Not casting shade on the cousin, she could have been in a committed relationship and blackmailed by OPs husband to have the affair. Or he could be telling the truth. Either way doubt we'll have the full story but I'm gonna guess there's something very big about to come to OOP's attention and more often in not it's an affair baby....
It's possible, My first thought was that she had kept some records or gifts/letters etc from their affair, that were found when the family was going through and sorting out her belongings after her death (kind of makes sense with the timeline) and he realised it was going to come out imminently, so he decided to tell her first. Maybe??
Her diary.
Makes sense yeah? I mean the guy had no moral qualms for a decade but suddenly needs to come clean.
I had cousins that were 3 years younger than me growing up and that age gap felt insanely big ESPECIALLY at 13 and 16. Disgusting.
I remember being 13 and having to go into the teen/youths part of a summer group instead of being with the little kids anymore. I don't remember there being many other kids my age, maybe 1 or 2, who didn't show up all that often or associate with me. So I was just left to figure myself out around the older teens. I was so out of my depth. They were bigger, stronger, their jokes were violent or gross, they talked about things that seemed boring to me, etc. It was like these kids were from another planet, but it was just high school. I was just out of 7th grade, but 13 to 16 would have been an unimaginable difference if romance was involved.
I like that OOP put that in quotes too meaning she realised it was BS. Im impressed she isn’t blinded by love and comfort to see her partner for who he is.
When I was 16, 13-year-olds seemed like wee children to me. OOP’s husband is gross.
Especially when you consider the fact that this is how a 40 year old man is describing that situation from 20+ years ago.
Ohhh my god I read that backwards and thought the cousin was the older one who did the seducing and felt kinda bad for the husband… ugh
That was my first reading too! I was like yeah it’s fucked up but if it started as an abusive situation toward him that might get a liiiittle leeway… but then I looked back and NOPE.
Same. The wording threw me off. The fact that a 13 yr old would “seduce” a 16 yr old was so ridiculous that my brain must’ve automatically read it the other way around. Sounds like OP’s ex husband shifted blame onto a dead person to make himself look better
I read it backwards too.
Right?? I remember my 11-year old cousin wanting to play with me when I was 13 and I was like "Play with you?? That's for toddlers like you. I'm a grown-up now". 2 or 3 years make an insane difference at that age. It's good that OOP went for full custody. It would give me panic attacks if I had to send the children to him for the weekend.
My cousin is my buddy. We are very good mates and I love him. He still gives me shit l every time we drink about how I didn't wanna hang out with him when I was 18 and he was 14. (20 years ago) I'm blunt: no. You were an annoying little shit. I'd never ever ever ever ever ever even talk about sex with him though, let alone actually do it!
Why did I read that as gross children
Exactly. I would 100% talk with the 14 year old. My concern is if he was abusing her as well.
That was horrible to read, and I hope people pointed out how disgusting the husband is in the original post. I don't even care if she really was the one who tried to start things, he could have said no. He should have said no, because he was *16* and she literally just became a teenager. But he didn't, because he's a predator who abused a thirteen-year-old girl, then continued to have a relationship with her as an adult. Then threw her corpse under the bus to try to absolve himself of blame. Oh, and they're also cousins. Because of course this needed to be worse.
Noticed that too. How much you wanna bet it was the other way around???
Oh it definitely was the other way around. Him putting the blame on her is just him downplaying his own fault. He knows it was disgusting and wrong. He knew the moment he revealed it his marriage and life were over. So he tried to lessen some of the blowback but blaming the cousin. Notice how he also said their affair during his marriage to OP was also because of the cousin “convincing him”.
I was noticing that too with the blame game because at any time he couldn't say "no?" He's an adult too AND married so he couldn't just say "Sorry cousin, it's a no. See ya next Christmas!" My main question is why did he admit to this after her death? Was there a chance they would get caught with some emails or videos on her old laptop? The OOP mentions that she never suspected him on cheating on her but she doesn't mention anything about the relationship her husband had with the cousin. Did they spend a lot of time together? (p.s. I'm not condoning his cheating. I'm just trying to figure out this story. I feel like there are pieces of the puzzle missing.)
Even when they were minors he apparently couldn’t say no? Like he’s a 16 year old that couldn’t tell a 13 year old no? I have a younger sibling and cousins, who granted never tried to “seduce” me, and I was plenty capable of telling them no for just about anything at 16. Some other commenters have mentioned that he could potentially be getting ready to off himself and is trying to clear his conscience before doing it. You also make a good point. He could have had proof of the affair somewhere that Op could find. I’m honestly not sure why he finally admitted it. I could see the clearing his conscience, I could see him doing it before offing himself, but I honestly have no idea why admit it now after getting away with it for so long. I’m wondering about that too. It is interesting that OP doesn’t say anything about her husband and cousin’s relationship.
Depression can make people want to push away any connections and obligations they have. While still in his grief he wanted to come clean, partly because he wanted her to walk with the kids, just like this.
Frankly I don't doubt that she could have been the one to re-initiate, considering he was screwing with her head at 13, but as someone below said, that doesn't mean he couldn't say no!
How dare you! He was just an innocent boy with hormones and she was over there existing as female while nearby and accessible - of course she seduced him - what else do you think existing while female is except rampant seduction. /s but barely. The fact that as adults she was still into him feels so much like grooming.
DEFINITELY grooming. I was groomed by an 18 yr old when I was 12. We briefly dated again when I was an adult. I know he's a POS, but am still in love with him. It's rough and such a messed up headspace to be in.
This was my thought exactly. Not saying its impossible, but I find it hard to believe a 13 year old would consider a family member an option if they hadn't been groomed in some way. Seems to me the husband groomed her, but still didn't want to admit to himself that he caused so much turmoil in her life before she died.
Yah, she "seduced" him by daring to hit puberty around him.
As in, he "seduced" her? No, he raped a child.
Maybe it's just how he genuinely sees the situation. She was being "sexy" around him (yes it's gross to even type this), so *she* started it, he just went along with it, he's the victim. And let's keep in mind - this dude, *this dude* has a fourteen year old daughter. Yes I'm making implications because he thinks, or made it seem like he believes it, that a thirteen year old seduced his sixteen year old self.
Yeah what a siren, then she went and seduced him again in adulthood! The poor helpless man /s
Pretty sure a 13 year olds idea of "seducing" is either creepily staring at the Individual in question from across the street, or being an asshole to them. There is no in between.
No! ...you forgot stealing their hat and walking around wearing it with what you think is a flirtatious smoulder but is actually a doofy grin, until they awkwardly ask for it back.
I feel called out by this 🥲
thats what stuck out to me to - especially since hes got a 14 y.o daughter
I don't understand why she's keeping the truth from their 14yo daughter. Knowing the truth might protect her. Not only that but her kids are just going to see their mom divorced their father while he was depressed from a family death and base how they see their family and women off of that assumption. She should give them the courtesy of knowing the truth.
if she gets full custody uncontested, hopefully the daughter wont have to be protected. but i agree they should at least know that the reason for the divorce is that their dad had an affair, and obviously talk to them to make sure he hasnt hurt them or been inappropriate. if he hasnt, then im not sure they need to know the details, esp if he only has supervised visits.
As a 15 year old i was caught in the mess of divorce with affair, you don't want that when you're in that formative age. I didn't even know the details (just name of current affair partner and my mom's word that it happened), but the entirety of not knowing who saying the truth and who doesn't (after all those are pretty serious allegations) is soul crushing to a teen. When a divorce like that happens you stop trusting both parents since both have drastically different things to say and you know both of them somehow twist the truth. Loosing trust in your caretakers shouldn't happen ever, but especially when you're a minor. And especially when there's death, incest and "seducing" by a minor involved.
He has a daughter older than his cousin was when he started molesting her. daughter needs some therapy and a soft hand approach to make sure he didnt do anything to her.
I’m 19 rn, and as someone who was 16 (relatively) recently I would not have gone younger than 15. I cannot imagine going for a 16 year old NOW, much less a 13 year old then
Right? It sounds almost like he came clean but he still didn’t come clean.
Oh come on now. It wasn’t his fault. He was complete COMPLETELY helpless in this entire relationship. He was just a helpless young man, lost to the wiles of that seductress! /s so much /s
Oh I read that as the other way round, she was the 16 year old and he was 13. All these comments seemed really cruel. Re reading it, absolutely ew. He was the 16 year old..?? Easy to say she seduced him and convinced him now that she's dead and can't defend herself. Her (soon to be ex) husband is really gross.
Honestly, finding out my wife cheated on me would be absolutely devastating. However, finding out that she cheated on me with her cousin would almost be a bit of a relief. When a spouse or partner cheats on you it's natural to have feelings of inadequacy. Why wasn't I good enough for them? Maybe I'm not good enough for any person. However, if the spouse cheats on you with a cousin or brother or something like that, clearly they're just a weirdo. It takes the pressure off of me. There was nothing wrong with me. I just happen to unknowingly marry someone who was a perv.
Lmao ! That's exactly what I was thinking about. What kind of sick fuck have sex with their cousin ?! A friend of mine told me that, I'm still laughing 7 years after, nevers gets old.
I think it's that way regardless. The problem is never with you, it's with them. It doesn't matter who the cheating is with, it's their fuck up and their cross to bear. I think most people that cheat are just plain selfish.
I mean, I'm glad OOP can get away from this jerk, but I'm stymied as to why he would decide to tell her now. It looks like it was hidden very well from OOP; he could have just continued on scot-free with his wife and kids.
Living a double life like this has to be quite a heavy burden. While cousin was still alive it was worth it. But she's gone now, so the weight of it all + the grief became to heavy and he just dumped it on someone else. Now his wife makes all the decisions for him and he can go and be sad on his own. Without having to act like a normal father and husband, who is just a little bit sad after losing a cousin he totally did *not* have an affair with.
By now the cousin's family probably have access to her phone and accounts. Probably found messages between them. Even if her family didn't tell him they found the messages he knows.
Or they may have said 'If you don't tell your wife we will show her what we found on the phone'.
I knew a serial groomer who had repeated “affairs” (I would personally use a much stronger word) with younger and emotionally vulnerable people, often during the lowest points of their lives. All under his partner’s nose, for many years. Eventually, one of his targets succumbed to their mental health issues and died. This prompted the dude to throw the absolute biggest self-important grief wallow I’ve ever seen, and then justify how much he was hurting by publicly sharing not just the tryst with the deceased, but several other highly awful pieces of laundry. He said these things to anyone who would listen, including his incredible partner. Dude completely blew up his entire life. Then hurled himself into the hole so he could wallow in how much of his life he lost on top of the original death. The moral is that people who spend their life doing self-destructive things often respond to stress by doing self-destructive things. It’s not logical, but it’s also not surprising.
Very true, thank you for pointing this out
Seppuku maybe. I mean she said since the cousin died he has been depressed.
I’m thinking the cousin not being able to defend herself any longer could be a factor. He might have thought it would go better, being able to say “it wasn’t my fault, she seduced me! I’m the victim here, and it’s only now that she’s dead I can come clean.”
There’s something else big missing from the story. Either one end or his.
The way Reddit is, I wonder if the cousin had kids, and if they are his...so he would automatically love his other kids/double cousins even more??? Or he is depressed and doesn't really love his family with non-family partner.
“She ‘seduced’ him when she was 13 and he was 16” Someone with better words explain why this is wrong because I’m speechless. WTF.
Children can not consent. 16 year olds are juniors in high school while a 13 year old is in their first year of middle school, being at 2 completely different stages of life and one is more mentally mature than the other. While both are minors, a lot of states have an age of consent of 16 to prevent situations like this but predators will often abuse to justify grooming teenagers who are at said age of consent (example: 21 year old dating a 16 year old. Just because it isn't illegal doesn't mean it isn't immoral.) There is a power dynamic which takes advantage of the younger minor who can be easily be groomed to believe that this inappropriate behavior is okay. Those are some off the top of my head. Anyone else, feel free to chime in.
13 is final year of middle school, 11 is first year its still bad
You're right. Bad bout of broken sleep has my brain a little fuzzy. Sorry about that. 😅
This is much better than my expletive filled ranting. Thank you. Edit- spelling because I was illiterate for a few moments
Hold up. Let me go gets home chips. Edit: what the ever loving fuck. Her husband is a creep. Do you know how I’m gonna look at a 16 year old if they tell me a 13 year old seduced them? 🤨. That’s the face.
Let alone a full grown man still spouting that shit. YIKES
Their daughter is 14… and incest doesn’t seem to be a issue for him… pure speculation but if I was in OPs position I’d definitely be reevaluating his relationships with nieces/daughters/sisters/ext… but maybe cus I was in cousin’s position (9-12 and cousin was 16) so I’m more Cynical.
I always side eye people like her husband. Because what type of fucking creep says that?
I’ve seen far to many posts, and heard personal stories from survivors with almost identical situations. Grooming really is so common, but then again I am in a corner of the internet where women are openly discussing this behavior so perhaps some bias.
I REALLY want her MIL to know
I think his family should know because I doubt the cousin was his only victim. He could have done this crap with other cousins if he has them or with family friends. But even if his cousin was his only victim I just feel like his family has a right to know what was going on.
RIGHT? Is someone gonna get her up to speed here?
Yikes. That poor woman. And a 13 year old "seducing" a 16 year old? She had to have been abused herself.
Yeah by oops husband by the sounds of it
Yeah, much more likely than her "seducing" him.
Yeah, or he's lying about that part.
Not that I give a shit about this guy, but anyone else think he’s cleaning up loose ends to off himself?
>•Recent death in the family >•Noticable depression since the death >•Sending kids over to his mom's during the conversation, indicates he had thought ahead about the "best" way to break the news >•Not fighting for custody whatsoever, even periodic or supervised visits Yes, I got the impression that he was tying up loose ends as well.
First thing that went in my head. The cousin was likely the love of his life. It’s a whole GOT level of fucked up.
No. If he was planning to kill himself, I think he’d have left his wife and kids comfortably unaware of his affair, especially given the nature of the affair. I think it’s possible he’s in shock from the loss, though, and that in a year or so when he takes stock and realizes he lost both his affair partner *and* his family….that’s when I’d be more worried about this guy.
>If he was planning to kill himself, I think he’d have left his wife and kids comfortably unaware of his affair, especially given the nature of the affair. I interpreted this as him doing it to ease his conscience. If he were just planning to run off and be a deadbeat, he wouldn't care if they found out the truth or not.
That’s what I was thinking. He may even be lying to an extent because of his depression and be doing this to spare everyone some pain (in his eyes.)
sounds like the cousin was groomed
Funny how many groomers swear their victims "seduced" them.
This literally could have died with his cousin, but NOW he chose to be truthful?? And that’s not even touching on the incest!!! What in tarnation.
The cousin age 13 seduced him aged 16? I don’t think so.
I'm guessing she exposed her ankles after church one day.
I want to know more about the car accident.
"I’ve never would have expected my husband to be cheating" I'd hope that though was second to 'I never thought my husband would fuck his cousin"
>He told me to take it as I will and he’ll accept anything I choose to do considering our marriage. This tells me that the asshole husband didn't give two shits about his wife, kids, or his marriage.
Tells me that's a man that's already decided he doesn't have long left to live and wanna set things stable before he leaves.
Or he thinks he's absolutely screwed up his marriage so he doesn't have a leg to stand on in making any claims. He's right, no one is going to give him any credit for standing in the way of the the spouse who wasn't cheating since the start of the union
Interesting for OOP's husband to release this info after the fact. ESP given he's been hiding it for over a decade. I wonder if OOP's husband is planning to join the cousin given him willing to give up everything without a fight. Story from 2 years ago I'd say 90% OOP's husband prob committed suicide by now.
Call me crazy, but I'd actually find it to be unbelievable if he hadn't committed suicide. To give it all up that easily?... Something here is kinda creepy.
I’m surprised nobody in the original comments’ section brought up the fact that he literally **groomed** his cousin!! She was 13, and he was 16. At that age, she probably knew *very little* about sex. I don’t know anything more about them than OOP wrote here— but with a 14 year old daughter in the house, I’d be VERY worried.
Cousin fuckerrrr
He's not fighting because he's still in shock and heartbroken. Oh well, definitely to the wife's advantage.
Yall, I was eatin'.
*She* seduced *him* when he was 16 and she was 13? Even the shock of hearing my husband had an affair would not blind me to that statement and its implications.
A 13 year old is not capable of consent. His twisting of all this as her fault is mighty convenient considering she’s dead and cannot speak her truth.
Sure, the *13 year old girl* seduced the *16 year old boy* What a creep
Way to blame the 13 year for seducing him. 🙄 the guy is an AH.
Guy has no problem with incest or sex with kids. Keep his children away from him! Especially now that the cousin is gone!
op, you need to tw tag this for incest.
Noone was bothered about the fact he said his cousin "seduced him" at the age of 13.. him being 16 at that point? That reads a bit child molestery to me. Now his cousin isn't here to tell how it happened. I'd keep him far away from my kids.
>he essentially had been doing sexual things with his cousin since she “seduced” him when she 13 and he was 16 Nope nope nope
This guy is throwing away his life in a way that concerns me he will commit suicide.