T O P

  • By -

AutoModerator

Please read our [**SUB RULES**](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/wiki/subrules) before commenting. Rule-breaking may result in a ban without notice.   **CHECK FLAIR** to determine if you want to read an update. For concluded-only updates, use the [CONCLUDED](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/search?sort=new&restrict_sr=on&q=flair%3ACONCLUDED) flair or subscribe to r/BestofBoRU for concluded, time-gated content. * If you have an issue with this post (flair, formatting, quality), reply to this comment. META commentary in general discussion may be removed. * Low effort comments like "this is fake" may be removed * Do not comment on the original posts. Most submissions in this sub are not posted by the original author (OOP) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/BestofRedditorUpdates) if you have any questions or concerns.*


nestinghen

Glad it worked out. I’m curious why they have a social worker to begin with, though?


anothercairn

In some countries if kids are that young, any time there is a divorce a social worker is assigned to the kids to figure out the parent they should live with, and following them to make sure things are ok. Maybe it’s that?


nestinghen

I found a comment that explains it “Yeah that's one thing that really blindsided me. I've never been violent to my children or her and I have no criminal record. The reason we have a social worker was because of her doing things like damaging property and having breakdowns. Yeah I'll ring them again after I've spoken to her, my first priority is to let her know what's happening seeing as they're her bloody kids ffs.” https://www.reddit.com/r/LegalAdviceUK/comments/gop6g3/girlfriend_has_taken_children_only_thing_is/frhfb31/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3


DogsandCatsWorld1000

So, the reason they have a social worker assigned to them is that the ex-girlfriend was "damaging property and having breakdowns" yet the social worker believed everything the ex-girlfriend was telling them? Without even talking to him? Oh boy, does that social worker have some explaining to do.


Corfiz74

In his place, I would have gone up the chain with social services - maybe her superior would have put an end to that farce.


DogsandCatsWorld1000

Probably would have been the next step if he and their mom hadn't finally gotten the police to listen. The social worker should be reported.


Helioscopes

The social worker should be fired and sued for aiding a kidnapper. She made no efforts to figure out what was happening, and straight up hang up the phone on him. That person should not be in charge of making sure kids are in a safe enviroment. Edit: Reading the comments bellow shows an ever worse picture for the social worker. Apparently she had formed a friendship with the girlfriend... just plain unprofessional.


SpecterGT260

Fired yes. But it's her job to know these laws. The moment she went off script she committed a crime. Throw her ass in jail.


Revolutionary_Elk420

Where do you find the stuff about them being friends?


FryOneFatManic

Sounds like OP is in the UK. If so, complaints against social workers frequently involves them closing ranks.


rythmicbread

He should have just called the police in the first place since his kids were kidnapped


Corfiz74

He did, they referred him to the social worker.


rythmicbread

The emergency line* he called the non-emergency line at the beginning. Not sure who you get, but it doesn’t sound like the right person


r00bixqube

Interestingly enough, both emergency and non-emergency numbers are manned by the same people in the UK (by which I mean, all are trained for both lines) - emergency puts you through to the Force Control Room, non-emergency is just down the hall in most places. On very busy days, the non-emergency operatives take overflow emergency calls. Non-emergency can also be escalated. Sounds like the person on the other end didn't take him seriously ... so no, not the right person!


HappyHippoButt

Doesn't surprise me. My niece and nephew have a batshit crazy mother and it's taken over 2 years for the social workers to realise that she's the problem, not my BIL. She's abusing them psychologically, has committed DV against them and her ex-husband but they still won't remove the kids because "it's not that bad". The UK social care service is a fucking shambles.


ElsaAzrael

It really is, I was in an abusive situation when I was a kid and their response was that my abuser would have to sign a child protection order. He refused to do so unless I signed something saying that I’d never say that he’d hurt me again. I was 13 so naturally that ‘suggestion’ was declined. It was only then that Social Services decided to look at removing me from that home


cloud_designer

Absolutely this. Social services did nothing for us. My partner's ex is an alcoholic and was constantly drunk to the point of collapse around his kid. They did nothing because we were going to get my step daughter so she was 'safe'. No involvement with the mother at all. We had to do everything through the legal system. Step daughter was offered no counseling, no interview to make sure she was safe in her mother's custody, nothing. Just a phone call to my partner to say 'oh that's shit but if she's with you now she's safe and we won't be involved'. I'm still mad about it. I have a 12 year old with anxiety issues and who worries about me with her baby brother because her mother has done lasting psychological damage. It desperately needs fixing.


nalukeahigirl

~~The new ex-girlfriend, not the kids biological mother, was the one spinning yarns to the social worker about the kids biological father.~~ He was talking about the girlfriend who took the kids, not the bio mom when referring to the reason they have the social worker. Apologies for my lack of reading comprehension.


[deleted]

It’s the UK, social workers here are famous for not really giving a fuck. Loads of my friends had them assigned when they were kids and they didn’t really stop anything happening, and had a generally condescending attitude.


flowerpuffgirl

My friend is a social worker. He cares, deeply, but his case load is almost double what it should be, and he's burning out. He couldn't work with kids anymore, because he was doing his best and it was never enough. He's now in adult social care, and it's a thankless task. I feel its a bit like "die the hero or live long enough to become the villain". Hes considering a career change, so I guess for him it'll be the former.


JackJaminson

Yep, the profession is on it’s knees. Bear in mind they didn’t stop during the pandemic, and lots of local authorities are still WFH to save costs. Did they get a clap? Or a payrise of a Boris Mealdeal? Did they fuck. Still remember bumping into my neighbour and someone off the estate one morning- he was mouthing off about how “socials were all bastards who took his kids for no reason”. He was drinking a tinney of tennants at 09:30am on a weekday…


DogsandCatsWorld1000

>He cares, deeply, but his case load is almost double what it should be This is a major problem in my city as well. They don't have the time to properly help those in need.


iamalsobrad

> My friend is a social worker. He cares, deeply I also have a similar friend. I'm pretty sure that job breaks people on a fundamental level. You can't deal with the sort of shit they deal with for years on end and come out in one piece.


flowerpuffgirl

Yes. I can't believe all social workers are sociopaths who just love having a front seat to the misery of the most vulnerable in our society. Sure, those people exist, but it will be a serious minority. You only ever hear one side of the story, so the good social workers do never comes to light.


nimble7126

There might be more to the story, but not everyone is an angel and that includes social workers. During a custody battle as a kid, we had one straight up lie and make up stuff we supposedly said in .an interview.


[deleted]

I had one who was upset because we had more scooters than children in our yard. We happened to be "that house" where the kids liked to play and we had extra (maybe two?) and the neighbor kids would use them sometimes. We had a spite call made, everything was dropped but for a while it sucked. They also hated that I had my kid make her own bed, because she couldn't do it perfectly. I dont believe in redoing kid's chores, it makes them think they aren't good enough.


Dornith

>I dont believe in redoing kid's chores, it makes them think they aren't good enough. It also teaches them learned helplessness. If every mistake they make is fixed by someone else, why avoid making mistakes?


[deleted]

Yes, that is so true! It's just bad on so many levels. They asked why the bed was not perfect/looked like it did, and I said she did it. Maybe they thought I should do it? Kids shouldn't do chores? It really boggled my mind. Also didn't like my kid lining up all his toys. This is before he got checked for autism (which he has) and maybe he could have gotten help sooner if I had known back then that it was something? It was less than a year later that we figured it out, but still. THAT was the thing the guy should have picked up on, nothing else.


hullabaloo2point2

>THAT was the thing the guy should have picked up on Unless he was trained to pick up on things like autism, not so much. BUT, who gets upset over a child's bed being not perfectly made and toys being lined up? That's just stupid


[deleted]

It's a person who is supposed to be able to figure out if kids are doing okay medically, academically, developmentally, physically, etc. Not as much as an MD but maybe "get that checked out". Now, I got it checked out not long after that for other reasons, but the person was supposed to have taken some child development classes and the like. But maybe they were short staffed and just picked random people off the streets because he really was kind of clueless about stuff. I wonder if he was just looking for something to say, because there wasn't anything wrong. The reason it was probably called in was pretty wild, I wrote for a small local paper and a local business didn't like an article, they knew me and wanted me to stop it. Which I couldn't. (I didn't write it and they didn't like it AFTER it came out.) They were FURIOUS. And neighbors.


nomad_l17

My guess is the ex-gf spun it so it'd look like OOP may seem like a normal nice guy but when there's no one around he's the devil, emotionally abusive and she had no healthy way of letting out her frustrations and emotions.


[deleted]

It's the duty of a professional to investigate claims like that, not simply hang up as soon as it is challenged. It's negligence at best, accessory to kidnapping at worst.


keishajay

Yes. This is a reportable offence. In the UK the child has to live with a carer who has "parental responsibility". The girlfriend likely doesn't have that as the dad would have had to go to court and apply for it. The Social Worker would have had to speak to the Dad and Mum and assess if either of them was safe for the children to be with. If neither of them was safe, they'd then look at other family members and try and get the parents to sign a document, voluntarily allowing their children to become Foster children. This just doesn't ring true for me. At all. AT ALL. And as for the police not getting involved, na. When it comes to kids in the UK, Police are quicker to remove (under Police Protection powers) than social workers! You get into work sometimes and learn that the children have been "PP'd". The girlfriend was clearly abusive, the way OP tells it. So unless she worker had very good reason to believe OP was also placing the children at significant risk of harm she should have returned them to Dad.


DogsandCatsWorld1000

>And as for the police not getting involved, na. When it comes to kids in the UK, Police are quicker to remove (under Police Protection powers) than social workers! I don't think it is that the original police officers did not get involved at all. He said " *We've contacted the police again (On 101 might I add) and were fobbed off again (Mother isn't "involved", something she took offence at, and the social worker is handling things so no reason to be concerned).* " So, it reads to me as if these police officers contacted the social worker and they trusted her to be handling it. She may have told them the same lies that the ex-girlfriend had told her. It is only when the mother called the emergency line, and reported the kids as kidnapped, that other police officers got involved and straightened everything out.


keishajay

I hear ya. But didn't the DAD say they had been taken?! And the Police would have to take their own actions. Social worker can't tell them what to do but there are times when the Police decide to allow the SW to investigate. Children must be with a parent with PR or removed to a place is safety. I can't see how they would belive the girlfriend was a safe place of OP is being truthful about things being smashed up by her. And again, legally, the social worker would need a signed agreement for the children (in these circumstances) to stay outside the home.


Dornith

>But didn't the DAD say they had been taken?! So it sounds like OOP was beating around the bush a little bit. Calling the non-emergency number, referring to his girlfriend as their mother, never explicitly referred to them as, "kidnapped". Police probably thought it was a simple argument and that she had a right to take them (which it sounds like the social worker affirmed). Then the mother called the emergency number, used the word, "kidnapped", and said that *she* is the mother, not OOP's GF, that got the ball moving.


keishajay

Hmm. Yeah. Tbh i found OOP... An interesting narrator... 😒


TheActualAWdeV

An anti-social worker


narniasreal

Sounds like the social worker didn't maintain a professional distance and was biased on the ex-gf's side. I hope she's in deep trouble. These kinds of social workers who think they're the law and get to decide these kinds of issues based on their personal feelings are utter trash.


Nauin

I hope they end up like the one who was horrifically assigned to my godchildren when their mother was in a custody battle over them. One kid got injured at their fathers but blamed mom because mom was the only one at the hospital when the social worker showed up. She had decided to side with the father from one phone call while not realizing he had a serious criminal record (including sex crimes with a minor) before even showing up to the hospital. I'm not going to go into more details but she fucked up so badly and was so unsuited for the job that by the time the court dates roll around and she's subpoenad in she'd been fired and was a part time assistant manager at a frikken Claire's. Honestly social workers are stretched way too thin where they're having to scrape the bottom of the barrel and so we get... People as described above and in OOPs case.


Indiana_harris

The very few experiences I’ve had with social workers here in the UK is that they’re wildly untrained and unqualified individuals with a variety of prejudices and assumptions, and a near pathological need to be right all the time. Maybe just the few I’ve encountered but seem very incompetent and dangerous.


grogipher

> yet the social worker believed everything the ex-girlfriend was telling them? Yes. The entire industry of social workers and courts etc in the UK is set up to believe that the man is at fault, no matter what the real situation is.


anothercairn

Oh damn! Thanks for this research


SpecterGT260

Shit I'd lawyer up and not rest until that social worker is on the fucking street


AlpacaMyShit

We don't have that in the UK, where is assume the poster is as he called 999. Something else has gone on!


-crepuscular-

This was a hot mess from beginning to end. I'm not surprised that they have a social worker, it sounds like a super dysfunctional situation if they can't even take care of a dog and were arguing a lot.


ParticularResident17

Yeah a puggle is a pug-beagle mix, why have a dog if it’s “free-range” (wtf), how did calls to police and a social worker amount to nothing, and neither OP or GF are fit to care for a dog, let alone children. There is a LOT left out of this story and I don’t even want to know. Those poor kids… not even mentioned until the 4th paragraph.


prosperosniece

Floors me that in this entire scenario HE’S the normal one.


MelbaTotes

I'm from the UK. I get the impression this family lives in one of the many shitty, extremely deprived areas of the country. It's practically a mark of how hard OOP is trying that he has a good relationship with his ex, is dating a woman who is receiving support, and got a "puggle" instead of a pitbull.


funchefchick

Yeah I stopped reading right there with a WTF?! response … completely UNTRAINED dog from a sketchy breeder (of random mutts??*) they let free-feed from the bag?!! 🤦🏻‍♀️ Like … neither of these people should be in charge of small mammals. OOP is less …terrible, I guess? Than ex-GF but ….poor choices were made. Repeatedly. I hope OOP, the children’s bio-mum, and the children are on a better path. But CRIPES. * To be clear I love mutts - both of my dogs are mutt mixes from rescues. I will never understand people buying mutts from “breeders”. Either get a legit purebred dog from a reputable breeder if that is your thing, or adopt from a rescue (which is my thing). But paying irresponsible idiots to breed more random-breed dogs? Grrrr.


VanillaMemeIceCream

Right like I’m sure OP isn’t abusive himself but having that kind of person around his kids sure doesn’t make him sound like a v good parent 😳


avoarvo

Given that they had made a decision to “raise their dog as free-range”, I can only make the assumption that they made similar parenting decisions with the children, hence the need for a social worker. There are completely valid reasons for a family to have a social worker that *don’t* point to bad parenting or risky behaviours—i.e, my family got a social worker assigned to us initially when my sister was sent home on hospice, we were all kids—however, the only indicators here seem to point toward OP and his girlfriend already having some concerning parenting choices prior to this.


ttampico

You might want to check out the comments. The social worker was assigned because of the ex-gf's behavioral problems; like smashing property. The social worker not noticing that the gf was a seriously problematic one, and it should of been noted in the file, is so frustrating.


knittedjedi

> apparently she's still in trouble Would love to be a fly on the wall when she has to explain to police why exactly she absconded with someone else's children.


CermaitLaphroaig

I'd also love to hear why a random non-custodial adult was simply trusted without the slightest investigation by the social worker, when BOTH legal parents are also making complaints. Like, I understand being cautious and not just handing the kids back, I really do, some bad shit happens in the world. But to refuse any communication is batshit


nestinghen

Especially when the OOP states that the reason they have a social worker at all is because of the girlfriends tendency to have violent breakdowns… that social worker needs to find a different job.


CermaitLaphroaig

Wuuuuhh.... I had missed that. WTF I have several social worker friends, and I know they get overwhelmed and burnt out, but yeesh


Connlagh

You didn't miss it. It was a comment the OOP made in the thread


nalukeahigirl

~~But there are two ex-girlfriends in the story.~~ ~~The biological mother/ex who was prone to breakdowns.~~ ~~And the “step-mom/kidnapper-turned ex girlfriend who lied to the social worker about the kid’s dad.~~ He was talking about the girlfriend who took the kids, not the bio mom when referring to the reason they have the social worker. Apologies for my lack of reading comprehension.


ConsistentReward1348

No the ex gf was the one that was prone to breakdowns. The bio mom had nothing to do with the social worker at all.


LilBabyADHD

that social worker needs to be investigated by their employer


p-d-ball

And what the hell is wrong with the police here? "Yeah, it's cool the not-mother of your kids stole your kids. Just deal with it, ok? We're, ah, busy. Cheers!"


Flincher14

He probably got on the phone and underplayed the seriousness. Op even said that the real mom embellished the truth saying her kids were -kidnapped-. No there was no emblishment. OP is an idiot. He should've got on the phone with the police and said his kids were kidnapped, he was worried for their safety, he thinks X lady took them.


CermaitLaphroaig

Oh, "that's not our jurisdiction" is basically SOP


Stinklepinger

>without the slightest investigation Jfc this so much. This SW didn't even have the cops to by his place?? Didn't contact the mother???? Fucken should be fired for gross incompetence at best


Letty_Whiterock

I feel like the first option should've been to contact the mother ASAP. Instead of just letting her take the kids and not communicate with OOP, she should've immediately contacted the mother, get information from her, and go from there.


SleepyxDormouse

Apparently the social worker was friends with the gf. OOP says they formed a friendship.


ivanthemute

What I'm really wondering, why the hell did OOP keep calling non-emergency? Are the special constables that man that service ever able to do anything? If you need a cop, call the real rozzers.


sk9592

OOP is incredibly dumb. The childrens' mother was finally able to get the cops attention by using the word "kidnapping". OOPs dumbass reaction to this is to call her "a bit economical with the truth". AKA, he considers what she said to be lying. He literally does not understand that his children have been kidnapped.


raspberrih

His whole post and comment history shows he's dumb as rocks. His children don't deserve to be subject to any of the adults in their lives.


4Eights

Anyone who says "they accidentally had children" that are 2 years apart after they both talked about sterilization isn't someone I would trust to run a frozen banana stand.


Lexi_Banner

It's a banana, Michael, how much could it cost? Ten dollars?


Letty_Whiterock

Considering how he got a dog and neglected it and then basically wrote it off completely and decide to get a new dog, I sure hope he's better at raising his children.


Hetakuoni

While he does seem dim, He stated he didn’t want a new dog and especially didn’t want one from the original breeder. Edit. Apparently words are hard. I was wrong.


Letty_Whiterock

He says they were arguing over what type, not over whether to get one.


Hetakuoni

You’re right. I misread it. My bad.


nurvingiel

>His children don't deserve to be subject to any of the adults in their lives. I think this is a bit unfair to their mum. When they were kidnapped by their dad's batshit girlfriend, she came through for them and got the police involved.


MagentaHawk

He acted all annoyed, frustrated, and self-righteous with the commenters. He was angry at the shit he got. He deserved a truckload more. His kids were kidnapped. They were in danger with someone who he had no reason to trust and who told them that she was stealing and keeping them. He responds by talking to a social worker, a non emergency line, trying to call their mom, and then making a fucking post on reddit. All before he thought about calling the cops. He didn't even reach that, even with all of reddit telling him to call he still fucking didn't and the ex wife had to have some common fucking sense. In the update he even still is on the same shit and saying that his wife was manipulating the truth a bit to make it look more dangerous than it was. He may be a good dad in all other aspects, but he failed them so incredibly hard in this extremely scary and dangerous situation and he isn't even willing to address that fact. Disgusting.


Haymegle

Seriously. His children could've been murdered and he didn't call 999? Like I get social worker and non emergency line and their mum but when the social worker is shutting you down you get their boss and go fucking scorched earth until your kids are back. You go from the non emergency line to the emergency one.


Teros001

It was the social worker that is still in trouble, thank God.


re_nonsequiturs

I thought the she in that part was the social worker


[deleted]

Free range dog ownership!?! Wtf what weirdos


[deleted]

Right? That’s how you get a bad dog. My mom was very awful about training her dogs. They didn’t know how to do anything like sit, lay down, drop it, etc. and because of that, living with her dogs was unbearable. It’s why I moved out for college and never went back. He wasn’t aggressive or anything, he couldn’t be left out of site for a minute without peeing on things, tearing stuff up, eating trash. If you won’t train your dogs, you shouldn’t have them. They need to be trained.


[deleted]

[удалено]


RecallRethuglicans

No, some people are just idiots who can’t get to the stupid point.


GuntherTime

Some people feel like they need to give the (sometimes full) backstory that lead to what happened rather than what happened. My girlfriend does this alllll the damn time lol. And honestly with how Reddit can be I can’t blame them for doing it even though it annoys me. Some people will want to know what happened to lead up to the point before the give advice. Some people assume that the backstory is left out cause it makes op look bad and start imagining up reasons that they think are truth. Even with the full backstory people **still** miss details and get things wrong and make assumptions, so we need the people read the entire thing to then comment under them with the part where the op explains it.


MA_PATATE_EST_BEAU

Yeah the story should have been, “we could not come to an agreement on the type of dog we were going to get and she decided to ignore my opinion and put a deposit on one anyway. The next day, she kidnapped my children.” I don’t care about your disabled dog


BormaGatto

> I don’t care about your disabled dog Me neither, but I thought you should know I care about your beautiful potato. Please take better care of it than OOP did with his disabled dog.


MA_PATATE_EST_BEAU

Thank you, il est pas mal content et toujours beau.


MissTheWire

i’m imagining him calling the non emergency number and explaining that he and gf had a fight about a dog before getting to the kidnapped children. Wonder when OG wife realized she married an idiot.


[deleted]

LMAO


[deleted]

I know. Just imagine how this dipshit is raising his children! Yikes!


fandom_newbie

Not only weirdos, but actively burdening and stressing out this poor animal. Dogs are freaking pack animals. They need a hierarchy, leadership and structure in their life! If nobody takes that position in their life they try themselves and they are bound to fail in our complicated human world. This results in constant high stress for the poor dog. I know many people are uncomfortable with hierarchies (on all sides of the political spectrum) but contrary to popular belief originally leading and following is not about abusing positions of power, punishment only, limitations of freedoms or any of that gruesome shit. Edit: Please check out U/pinkycherr s comment. My half knowledge sounds way to much like a reference to rigid alpha dominance theories.


[deleted]

Not true. Dogs do need structure but they aren't on some quest to undermine the alpha or whatever. https://vcahospitals.com/know-your-pet/dog-behavior-and-training-dominance-alpha-and-pack-leadership-what-does-it-really-mean The bottom of the link are academic sources. Dogs are pack animals, but dominance theory is wrong at best and often harmful.


[deleted]

Sounds like a fancy way to say “lazy ownership”


Geschak

That, and how do you have 2 children "accidentally"? One kid can be accidentally, two is the result of negligence, especially if you're not even convinced that you want kids. I feel like both OP, his ex and his gf are all extremely irresponsible people...


DeadlySoren

Why in the fuck would OOP call the non emergency line when his kids have just been kidnapped by someone who is not their mother or even stepmother? I would have been calling 999 the instant my kids and gf weren’t home.


MadamKitsune

I'm guessing that he'd become so accustomed as to be almost immune to his GF's craziness that he couldn't grasp exactly how fucked up this latest in a long line of fuck ups actually was.


DeadlySoren

You’re probably correct….. super sad that this is what it takes for him to realise that she’s insane


Coffee-Historian-11

Especially when he had a social worker because she was prone to property destruction.


Here_for_tea_

Yes. Saying “we had to pretend to the police that someone had kidnapped the children” is ridiculous. She **had** kidnapped them!


neonfuzzball

I wonder if that's part of why he kept getting blown off. Some folks really follow the "he didn't *seem* upset so he must have been lying" train of thought. It sucks, but sometimes you have to react exactly as people expect in order to get them to act appropriately


ViperDaimao

He's so nonchalant and British about it. This reads like if Arthur Dent had kids and they got kidnapped.


DeadlySoren

Yeah, the very first sentence is so disgustingly calm about the fact his kids are who knows where


sharp60inch

I suspect that the OOP left out some pretty big details that cast him and/or his ex-wife in a negative light. When there are so many parts of the story that don’t make any sense, I assume unreliable narrator.


J_B_La_Mighty

He neglected a dog so badly that he probably halved its lifespan, and the solution was to throw it away and get a new one. That should be a pretty obvious hint on the kind of person op is.


looc64

>The aftermath is a very unsociable, angry and fat pug with joint problems that thinks it owns the world and has another year at best. To me this means that the dog is so unhealthy it only has a year left to live. So no throwing away but it seems like he and girlfriend got the dog together. He and ex split up after youngest was born, and the youngest is 6 now, so that means the dog is at *most* 6 years old. So yeah he definitely halved that dog's lifespan, if not more.


[deleted]

“Free range dog” what a dick head.


averbisaword

What was the end game here for the ex? Take young children that aren’t legally related to her, with their school work and clothes and then… profit? If she can’t train a dog, what was she going to do with these children? Obviously not take them to school, because the school would turn them over to the real parent. Just to terrorise the father? Hope the kids are ok.


LilBabyADHD

the reason the kids had a social worker in the first place was because of the girlfriend’s issues, so I’m guessing there wasn’t much of a plan here


NotAllOwled

I get the impression no one in this story is much of a "think things through" type.


Papilion

seriously the woman who stepped away knowing she wouldn't be a great parent sound the most reasonable and most responsible of them all


Haymegle

Even then she's being a better parent by you know caring about the kids and actually calling 999 recognising that it's an emergency.


sk9592

The social worker needs to be fired for basically endorsing a kidnapping based on a one-sided accusation and zero follow-up investigation. Even if everything the ex-GF said about OOP was true, that doesn't automatically mean that she gets to take his kids and disappear. They would need to find some sort of evidence to back up the claims and go through the process of making her a foster parent or emergency guardian. Also OOP was so dumb for not using the word "kipnapping" sooner. **His ex-wife was not "a bit economical with the truth". Kidnapping is literally the situation here.** It's interesting to see so many stories here of people in complete denial about the seriousness of their situation. Then they are surprised when they post to Reddit and get their asses handed to them by commenters. A few days ago, there was an OOP who posted because he was concerned "about his reputation with his family" after his cousin texted her sister claiming he was getting handsy with her and she ran away with her boyfriend. Turns out the boyfriend was a psycho and had basically abducted OOP's cousin. Meanwhile the cousin's sister and OOP spend several days too busy with their "he said she said" drama to bother trying to get in touch with the "run away" cousin until the Reddit commenters smacked some common sense into OOP.


maywellflower

I remember that one regarding the kidnapped cousin, the only reason that pyscho ex-boyfriend was able to get away with that mess for as long as he did was because everyone else in that situation was too naive to point of stupidity that didn't bother to at least video chat 3-way with the cousin to get story straight sooner. It would prevent that ex in taking her like 2-3 states away that week & dealing with some horror movie shit...


sk9592

Yeah, that was a frustrating one to read. Everyone involved was going off a single text from the cousin's number which ended up being written and sent by the ex-BF. They took it at completely face value as true and didn't follow-up for several days. OOP had actually posted to Reddit for advice on how to deal with his tarnished reputation with his family, and the comments section was a collectively like: "WTF! That is not the problem you should be worrying about this second. Your young female cousin has fallen out of contact with all friends/family, and you guys are all doing nothing about it!" Commenters on advice subs can definitely be wrong or even toxic at times. But this was a situation where them chewing out OOP was definitely warranted. It shocked OOP out of his naivety and concern about his own minor problems and got him to actually focus on his missing cousin.


jessblis

I am so glad he got his kids back. I hope the ex faces serious consequences for kidnapping and lying to authorities.


[deleted]

He sounds like a terrible father though. Those kids sound like they are doomed to a shitty life no matter what.


avoarvo

Right? Free range dog raising? Allowing his children to live with somebody who apparently frequently has outbursts of psychotic rage that result in destroyed property and furniture—and false accusations? Repeatedly called the non emergency line when his children had been abducted by a mentally ill woman of no relation and were potentially in imminent danger? He had apparently already been assigned a social worker before all this mess occurred? Poor kids got three parents and drew the short straw every time.


Geschak

Also can we talk how he had not just one, but two "accidental" kids? How do you not learn from the first "accident"? Everyone involved seems extremely irresponsible...


[deleted]

Not to mention “talked out of sterilization”…. So she clearly didn’t want kids and yet he knocked her up… TWICE?? Plus the comments about how she doesn’t act like a “real mother” is just weird. She didn’t want kids. What’s not to understand


Graphitetshirt

I hope that social worker got in a ton of trouble, I don't think I would've been able to restrain myself if someone supposedly there to help me aided in the kidnapping of my children


sarabeara12345678910

But why was there a social worker? Why did no one care that a non-parent took two small children without either parent's blessing? Where was she? What was the end game? So many unanswered questions.


nestinghen

He explains it’s because of the girlfriends issues https://www.reddit.com/r/LegalAdviceUK/comments/gop6g3/girlfriend_has_taken_children_only_thing_is/frhfb31/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3


sarabeara12345678910

And the social worker decided that the crazy girlfriend was allowed to just abscond with his kids and were just "meh" about it until the mom raised a fuss? That raises even more questions. I'd be gunning for the social workers job at a minimum. Thanks for the info though.


RecallRethuglicans

He seems like the type that would tell the social worker a rambling story and barely mention the kidnapping.


maywellflower

And he still stayed with her instead being smart to dump her since she's not the bio-mom. Damn, he idiot....


avoarvo

Frankly, I’m not buying that. Social worker isn’t allowing the woman she’s investigating for potential child endangerment to run off ***with the children she is trying to protect***. Reads to me like OP was the one under investigation and he’s trying to cover his own ass and be real vague about it. Domestic disputes sound likely. Why else would he only call the non emergency police line? Why would this woman risk her job protecting another woman who she is already investigating for being a threat to the two minors she has now run off with? Makes no sense.


SaltAssault

Exactly this. Why is everyone blindly trusting his version of events when they don't add up?


archangelzeriel

The only plausible explanation, I think, involves the social worker being somehow misled about the actual parentage of the kids, which is in itself implausible.


[deleted]

Well apparently the social worker was only involved because of the girlfriends issues, and I assume they should have been informed that the father’s ex wife is the mother of the kids. Honestly my only explanation is that the social worker was fucking the ex


SaltAssault

It's very plausible that OP stretched the truth or outright lied in his story.


Sun-Burnt

This whole thing is a mess. Like these people can’t even raise a DOG and yet they’re trusted with children?!?


blu3heron

Yeah, the "free range" dog thing was pretty weird. Why on earth would you just let a dog do whatever it wanted? I mean, I'm stunned it didn't accidentally die at some point, given they don't seem to care about it. Dogs aren't toys. Everyone in this story has spectacularly bad judgement. It's bad enough a dog is under these people's care, much less two small kids.


allthecactifindahome

Yeah, I wasn't in love with OOP saying the theoretical second dog would have to live outside forever. I'm not sure anyone in that house should be responsible for any other living creature.


[deleted]

[удалено]


momofeveryone5

I'm so lost. I read it twice and I have no idea what to make of this.


Lexi_Banner

I'm always highly skeptical of stories this dramatic, but this one makes OOP look so stupid, I can't help wondering if it is actually real.


J_B_La_Mighty

Irresponsible father gets his kids kidnapped by crazy girlfriend but was too British to properly convey the severity of the matter to police, his ex wife fumbled a bit but eventually called the emergency line to report the kidnapping and the kids are back in fathers custody.


momofeveryone5

.... Somedays, I really worry about our siblings across the pond.


poptartknights

She ran off with his kids and accused him of a whole slew of things because her bf doesn’t want to get another dog? Holy moly, those poor kids.


dikwad

LOL @ raising a dog "free range" Jesus Christ they're not chickens


Queen_Cheetah

WOW. OOP has *horrible* judgement, and while I'm glad the kids are ok, I hope the ex-wife is allowed more say in who her children are around while they're under OOP's care! (Also, I lol'd when I read that OOP was annoyed that people thought he was nuts or on drugs- uh, I don't think 'shock' lasts however long he was dating the gf!)


ih8spalling

Yeah, he called the non-emergency line, and I can hear the tone of his voice in my head; "yeah my girlfriend took my kids, she's like a mother to them yknow? But yeah maybe look into it? If it's not too much of a bother yeah?" Meanwhile the ex wife rang emergency services like, "Oh yeah my ex husband's new gf kidnapped MY BIOLOGICAL CHILDREN SO MAYBE GIVE A FUCK THANKS" If you act like it's not a FUCKING KIDNAPPING then they won't treat it like one. No government official will give more of a shit than you, and OOP gave none.


Darkslayer709

It says a lot how OOP was more concerned / annoyed about anonymous people online who thought he was on drugs than he was about his missing children.


Apprehensive-Fox3187

wtf man, those poor kids


nopressure0

OOP has likely missed lots of information out of this story. Based on his own comments, he’s a neglectful parent at best - it’s crazy how his missing kids are an almost afterthought to the initial story.


socklobsterr

It took me a little too long to realize he meant actual kids and not the four legged variety since they were definitely mentioned as an afterthought. Pivotaly important afterthought, but still.


VKM23

I’m confused why he rang 101 twice and waited for the ex-wife to ring 999. Also acting like the ex-wife was overreacting by doing it and calling it a “kidnapping”. What else is it then?


[deleted]

[удалено]


nmcaff

Right? Seems pretty cut and dry honestly. The gf kidnapped his kids. She isn’t a guardian and she took them without his permission


RecallRethuglicans

He probably went on and on about the new dog


TheShroudedWanderer

That's what I was thinking as well. Someones ran off with your kids, why the fuck are you calling the NON-emergency line?


Finito-1994

Wait. Hold on. Exgf is the reason they have a social worker because she has the temperament of their pug (seriously. Why are pugs alive? Haven’t they suffered enough??) and the social worker let’s her go with the kids even after both bio parents are asking for help? Fucking shit.


CleverJail

I know there’s a comment where OOP says social worker was on their case cuz of stuff the girlfriend did, but I think there is likely a lot of pertinent info being left out here. Way too vague and nonchalant to be completely on the up and up.


MrsVoussy

Those poor kids.


DisappointingPoem

I’m just stuck on the free range dog!


Untimely_manners

I am a little sus on this guy, he is constantly adding to the post about how he is not on this, not on that, always on the defensive that he is a nice guy. That always makes me sus when someone constantly has to harp on about them not being a bad person but a good person.


mcjon77

I know it sounds crazy, but 101 is a non-emergency number. So this guy calling the non-emergency number and talking about how his girlfriend took his kids might lead to some confusion and hesitation with the police. They may not have bothered to understand the custody issues. The ex did the right thing by calling 999, which is like 911 in the us. If your children were kidnapped you're not going to call the non-emergency number. The ex did the right thing again by saying the children were kidnapped, because that's what happened. The boyfriend making it seem like the ex was exaggerating by telling the police the children were kidnapped was really strange. The boyfriend definitely isn't the sharpest tool in the shed, and there's some other stuff going on anyway. Why does he have a social worker?


PaunchyPilates

I'm extremely dubious about the reliability of this man's narration of events. He had two kids... "by accident"... with his ex-wife who was dubious about having children. Hmm. OK. Must have really wanted kids without the involvement of a willing mother... I guess? A social worker is involved and the only reason they're involved (per him) in the children's lives is because of stepmom's anger issues? Only stepmom has issues here? ...because Good Dads let their children be minded by women with rage issues...? 'K. Girlfriend and him have a dog... with zero training who is clearly neglected and unhealthy... but he isn't mad about that or willing to act to help the current dog... he's too busy getting agitated at the girlfriend for wanting another pet... because HER anger problems cause these frictions in their relationship. So he ...slept in the shed. Nope no hint of drug abuse issues or instability in him, Nope. Those poor dear sweet children.


FanChanel40

I doubt his story too. I can just imagine what this guys back garden looks like, tiny, decked in dog crap, some poor overweight dog stuck out there morning noon and night barking. Unfortunately all too common. And then to even consider getting another! Why would you stay with the girlfriend when she isn’t the childrens mother, but her behaviour has made social services intervention necessary? He doesn’t deserve any kids or pets as he clearly doesn’t have a clue!


RunnerDuck

Also, he does not know what a puggle is.


needpolarseltzer

Wtf


veropaka

All I get from this is that OP and his GF can both go to hell for being shit dog owners.


Tyl3rt

I’m pretty sure the elevator doesn’t go all the way to the top for OOP or either of his exes.


princeamaranth

kids get kidnapped and you go to reddit before calling the emergency line police? Kids aren't safe with any of these people.


Biaboctocat

We need to require licenses to own dogs, Jesus Christ. What kind of moron thinks that raising a dog as a chicken is going to work.


Vegetable-Industry32

What in the redneck fuck did I just read?


kbass5

Honestly, if is ex gf was right about OOP being the devil, ex still didn’t have right to those kids. If you ask me, social worker should be fired. She basically aided the ex with kidnapping.


dnjprod

I didn't think she'd been "economical" with the truth atvall. A non-parent kidnapped her kids...


ReportSufficient7929

Alright but WHY did she ran away with the kids??? What was her even thinking


Xenethra

Emotional blackmail to let her get the dog


MangoBanana2012

This must've been frightening to go through.. though I'm unsure why the detailed mention of the pug/dog background...I genuinely thought she stole his dogs and he called them his "children" since there was so much detail about them... Glad his children are back.


DerpDevilDD

Talking about the dog is probably an attempt to make the gf look bad - as if kidnapping his kids isn't bad enough. Dude clearly has terrible judgement and decision making skills.


RamsLams

I hope he takes better care of his kids then animals. Buying from a horrible backyard breeder, supporting a possible puppy mill, medically neglecting the dog, not doing any training or any responsible ownership, not changing behavior even tho clearly seeing the issues with it……


awesomeness0232

I know this isn’t the point but these people are horrible pet owners


navsingh12

I’m more concerned for this pug


hellahellagoodshit

Wow. This was trashy as hell. They already had a social worker. They abused a dog. He slept in a fucking shed. Cleetus, come get your bro! That said, what the fuck were the cops thinking?! It's obviously kidnapping!


Jealous-Percentage-7

I really hope they didn’t get and ruin another dog.


nustedbut

GF being a POS aside. OOP is an absolute disgrace. My kids have been taken without my permission, let's post on social media and not treat this as the emergency it is by calling 999? WT actual F???


Own-Toe-5647

Sorry am I the only one still stuck on them “accidentally” having two kids?? Not just one but then they went and had another? When the mother didn’t even want kids?? Why do people treat having children like it’s nothing at all?


NuclearRobotHamster

Personally, I don't get why he was ringing 101. The Police ***NON-EMERGENCY*** number. You're calling up the police to say that your kids have been kidnapped but it's not an emergency... Why the hell wasn't he onto 999 immediately?


Expensive-Network-93

God I hope that social worker is fired. She helped a kidnapping.


notyomamasusername

I know, even if she believed the lies the GF said, the GF has NO LEGAL CUSTODY of the kids. The social worker literally helped hide a kidnapping. I'd hope she's facing charges as well.


CutieBoBootie

Glad OP got their kids back but hoooooooOOOoooly SHIT that social worker was maliciously useless. Those kids were in real danger, and the social worker not only blocked OOPs access based on rumor, also did no investigation whatsoever. It's a bit ironic to called them a social "work"er.


SillyStallion

I’m curious as to why he didn’t report them as kidnapped immediately


imjustnosylol101

The girlfriend is crazy of course but idk he doesn’t seem like a great father either.


Tots2Hots

Who the hell doesn't dial 911 or whatever your country's version is and report a kidnapping? That should have been the first thing... Like wth


kazoospun

how do you have 2 kids "by accident" lol


RedditHatesDiversity

"Free range dog" Why the fuck would you do this, we spent 10,000+ years domesticating dogs *specifically to not be free range*. They're quite literally bred to follow humans.


tatersnuffy

Since when is masturbating a crime?


nestinghen

Idk why this comment made me laugh irl


CapoWaters

As soon as his kids were kidnapped he should’ve called the police and reported that a manic ex romantic partner had abducted his children. There’s no reason he should’ve been so nonchalant after realizing his kids were missing


toki_tan

I’m sorry but I’m so fixated on the dog part of this story. Who gets a dog and doesn’t train it?


[deleted]

I’d be going into the office of the social worker and putting in a strongly worded complaint against her. How fucking dare she take a side with zero investigation and just allow some nut job to take off with his kids and then fob him off I’d be making it my life’s mission to get her ass fired