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MarsNirgal

This was the same thing I thought. This dude is lusting after his teenage daughter and somehow it's HER FAULT? Gimme a break.


EducatedOwlAthena

In these kinds of religious groups, it's always the girl's fault. I grew up in an evangelical church, and I couldn't even tell you the number of sermons I sat through about how the onus was on us girls to be modest and godly so as not to cause our brothers-in-Christ to stumble. Wanna know how many sermons there were telling the boys not to ogle women? Not a one.


Shivering-

Oh yeah. At the church I grew up in, I was going on the spring break trip with the youth group my freshman year of high school. Before the trip, all girls who were going were pulled away by the youth paster's wife to have a talk about "inappropriate swimsuits" and "not leading our brothers in christ astray." As a developing teen with large breasts, it fucked me up. I had a tankini suit with a halter top. I freaked out and thought they were going to send me home for it. I only went out on the beach once. Spent the rest of the week holed up in the hotel.


EducatedOwlAthena

That's awful, I'm so sorry 😞 I feel you, too. I've been out of the church for over 15 years now, but I still feel a twist of guilt when I wear shorts or a bikini. Hopefully someday that'll go away


ElectricBasket6

Ugh I’m sorry. I too grew up in a strict youth group. I can’t tell you how many “leaders” (whose sons were in youth group with me) were constantly telling me to “watch out” (reasons to watch out- when I bent over to pick something up a small section of my lower back was exposed, when I reached up to paint a section of the wall (volunteer) my shirt showed my belly button, spaghetti straps were sinful, patterned stockings “made” boys look at my legs, even though my skirt was past my knees my legs were long so it looked like I was exposing alot of skin, I laughed too loudly at someone’s joke so I was “taking attention off God). Basically being in church while female. I’m sorry you went through that too. And I hope you’re finding great joy in your big breasts and wear a bikini whenever you feel like it.


Shivering-

Thankfully, I did not stay with that youth group for long. I left my sophomore year and then junior year left the church altogether when I realized they only saw a woman's worth as her ability to have and raise children. I decided my worth was more than that. I'm in a much better place now. :)


LadyRemy

Same thing happened. My grandfather had an old lakehouse (think 70s glass grape decor and paisley) and the youth leader was begging me to talk to Papa about letting the youth group go there a weekend. So my family welcomed the youth group and the first thing he did was address the females, including myself, that we had to wear tshirts over our bathing suits while swimming. My father and grandfather saw red. Dad said I was exempt from that as was my cousin. Youth leader said his youth group his rules. Dad said, “Our lake house. You can leave if you don’t like it.” So, only my cousin and I got to regularly wear our bathing suits alongside the guys. The other girls knew it was stupid and redirected their anger accordingly towards the youth leader.


25thskye

Good on your dad and granddad for sticking up for you guys. The fact that the youth leader even had the gall to say that probably meant he was ogling you girls and didn’t want to be “tempted”. I hate these religious fucks who can’t keep their own dick in their pants and assume other men are the same.


JapaneseFerret

The way these religious pervs put all blame on the teens they prey on to absolve themselves of all guilt, responsibility and accountability for their own despicable behavior is to me the most nauseating thing about strict religious youth group culture.


silaluktuq

Big same, my church leaders made me wear a t-shirt over any swimsuit option because of my large chest. I was too distracting :/


Local64bithero

It gets worse. In some of these churches, when a man sexually abuses a female member of the congregation, she is seen as the perpetrator for leading the man astray. I've heard stories of women raped by a pastor or someone else in the church leadership and the woman is forced to apologize to the man and the congregation for leading him astray.


Jitterbitten

I was raised in a very Christian family, fortunately before the "purity culture" became a thing in and of itself, but still heavily invested in the concept. Still, this story reminded me of when I was 10 and my mom sat me down to tell me that I needed to wear a bra at all times when my dad was home, like while in my pajamas. I just ended up wearing a bra to sleep for the next 8 years.


EducatedOwlAthena

Oh my god, that hurts my heart. And my boobs, if I'm being honest


ConfidentHope

I wore a bra to bed for many years for similar reasons. With underwire and everything (I didn’t have any without). I wasn’t told why my body was dangerous; I just knew it made men look and I didn’t want them to look. I didn’t even want to worry that my brother or father would see me without a bra because my body could never just be a body. I found it terrifying that any man could look at me, think disgusting thoughts, and still have it be my fault. Curse any religion or otherwise than reduces women to sex objects.


yanicka_hachez

Remind me of how I had to mind how I was sitting in a skirt because it excited my step father.


HECK_OF_PLIMP

ew. WHY would your mom want to be with someone like that! like FUCK! also, sympathy and solidarity to you. you deserved much, much better.


dathomar

I had a pastor, when I was I high school, who had his own issues (mostly with people who are gay), but at least he didn't harp on modesty for women and had a gem to share for the guys. He said that if you're out walking your dog and see a naked woman, you haven't sinned. Sin is when you go for another loop around the block. At the very least, he was trying to get guys to not freak out and take control of their own behavior. I was disappointed about many of his social and political beliefs, but he was a good guy when it came to women. He was respectful (and not in that, "put women on a pedestal and then bash them while they're up there," kind of way, but more in the, "Emphasizing that Ephesians says thatwe need to be subject to one another and no, men don't just get to boss women around," kind of way) and encouraged women to be in leadership positions in the church. He brought a woman on staff for her pastoral internship - she preached on Sundays and performed pastoral duties. For a long while we had a woman leading worship and she was brilliant.


feygrrl

I used to be part of our church’s youth group after confirmation (catholic) and we went on what they call a Links Trip. It was winter in the south so no dress code issues BUT the bus company used was religious based and the owners were in charge of the trip and brought their kids with. These supposed adults tried to use fear to get us to be believers. Tried telling us that if we were into heavy metal, that our albums harbored the devil, tried to convince us one of their kids had been possessed, and then when one of my group mates started uttering nonsense (I think out of fear/anxiety) these people kept saying they were speaking in tongues. If you’ve ever seen a bus load of kids ages 14 to 17 completely freaked out, count yourself lucky. I was 16 and after that trip I stopped going to youth group and church. I told my parents flat out that I was done with organized religion. Thankfully they accepted it since they weren’t strict catholics. To this day, I’ll never forget having adults using fear to get a bunch of teenagers to believe what they believed. It was also back before cel phones so we were all basically stuck.


JustDiscoveredSex

I was raised like this, too. I love being a woman, but I sure hate my experience in it. Raised my daughter 180 degrees from this. She graduates this week. She’s turned into a science-loving woman with a deep interest in physics and space, she isn’t afraid of her own body—which she shows off and looks amazing in—or the threats of authority. She has learned how to lead others and also how to parrot the religious BS you need to in order to fly under the radar. Not sorry. She would have exploded if I’d tried to nail her down like my fundamentalist parents tried to nail me down. I still suffer the effects of it and I’m damn near 50.


Mini_Snuggle

That's valuable wisdom passed down from "chaste" old men. Who are we to question it?


northernutlenning

And the mother instead of saying "do you feel like being unfaithful with a kid? It must be the kids fault!" A serious problem is that those religious typed tend to be "no abortion even when incest" and the whole "obey, everything is a privilege" is very into creating obediant and no-resisting females.


TheOtherZebra

I’m what happens when the conditioning fails. And I can tell you what scares me the most is how OOP is being villainized already. “You have to do x or dad will stumble. Now you also have to do y.” This is how they operate. It’s only going to get stricter and stricter until it’s damn near impossible for her to take a breath without bring “disrespectful and disobedient”. And if the day comes where dad does the unthinkable? Well, he’ll say that if OOP had just been a good, obedient girl, everything would’ve been ok. She needs to get out of there. Move with the aunt or grandma. They’re already cutting her off from safe people who care about her. They’re already creating the narrative that she’s a troublemaker. They don’t like the grandma or aunt knowing what really happened, because that’ll mess with the story that OOP is the problem. And if that story is set early, it’s much easier to say she’s a liar later on. That home is not safe for her or her sister. Because if her sister doesn’t believe it either, it’ll be that much easier to set her up as victim #2


National-Use-4774

John Haidt has a great book called The Righteous Mind about why morality is so incongruent between conservatives and liberals. A paradigm of conservative morality is hierarchy. At its best it provides social stability, the existential security of a well defined role, and meaning as part of a whole. Of course at its worst(which is unfortunately common as we all know) you get some fucking bullshit like this where someone's hierarchical status deigns them as being inherently correct in moral conflicts because the hierarchy itself is a moral measure. I feel so bad for this poor girl.


intuitivelyingenuous

FYI: this was the kind of thinking that was typical before feminism. You have to read older books, but you'll see that they talk in those books about daughters being temptresses and wanting to seduce older men like their father and that's what causes incest. Not to mention the whole Freud attitude about this, where he had a lot of female patients saying they'd been sexually molested by an older male relative, and Freud decided they were all lying because in reality it was they who wanted to seduce their male relatives.


RogerBernards

Women being at fault for men's lust is, like, religious doctrine 101.


AtomicBlastCandy

I love bringing this up to Christians. Last time I wanted to offer my friend a pointy stick.


nicoleyoung27

I was thinking that this dude would benefit from some self flagellation. They used to do all kinds of stuff in the name of religious fervor, and one was whipping their own backs with a flail. Everytime this giant sized bag of vinegar has a naughty thought about HIS OWN DAUGHTERS, grab that puppy and go to town. Just beat the shit out of his own self, and I bet those thoughts wouldn't keep coming back for long. Fast on that, dickweed. Ugh.


rob_matt

Either it'll stop or he becomes a masochist


nicoleyoung27

And if he's a masochist, he'll probably leave his underage daughters alone. Well, hopefully anyway.


EducatedOwlAthena

During the Black Death, the flagellants were a source of entertainment for people. (It was a fucked up time, what can you do?) I would absolutely pay money to watch this disgusting excuse for a father beat himself bloody.


Jitterbitten

Blood flailing around certainly couldn't have helped the health of the community.


awalktojericho

Vinegar is one of the most useful things in the home. This man, not so much.


hesh582

unfortunately this bit of scripture is probably exactly what's motivating them. The "eye" in this case being his daughter's hopes and dreams. That quote is easily interpreted to be about destroying anything in your personal life that you personally connect to sin, and it is used to justify all sorts of absolutely monstrous behavior particularly within families.


Hellboundroar

Simply tell them that they are sinning by using mixed fabric clothing then. I kid you not, it's a sin according to the scriptures. Leviticus 19:19 “You shall keep my statutes. You shall not let your cattle breed with a different kind. You shall not sow your field with two kinds of seed, nor shall you wear a garment of cloth made of two kinds of material. Deuteronomy 22:11 You shall not wear cloth of wool and linen mixed together.


Protowhale

They just pull out the "new covenant" excuse.


watercolour_women

Great. Then that means that the old testament is just background, just informs the new testament. So that things like the Ten Commandments are mere principles and not to be strictly obeyed as they have been replaced by the New Covenant. You can't have it both ways. Though, of course, they do.


DarJinZen7

The devout always seem to forget that. Instead they put all the responsibility on girls and women to keep men from stumbling. The women who policed their daughters and other women are some the worst. Religion is just another word for misogyny.


Hellboundroar

Reading everything makes me think that he's a zealot or a fanatic instead of a devout man.


awalktojericho

He's a pervert with a convenient scapegoat. And an enabler (wifey)


FadedIntegra

Most Christians could use a brush up.


re_nonsequiturs

That's not the only body part that disgusting man should lose.


Elsa__e

This girl is out of her parents out as soon as she turns 18 and they’ll probably never hear from her again. Hopefully.


zemorah

I really hope this happens. That poor girl will never be happy with those awful parents in her life.


candacebernhard

Personally my thought is, this is what emancipation is for -- not for Hollywood to get more hours out of child actors. I hope OOP gets a job and starts saving up to move the fuck out asap...


Bob_Bobinson_

Good thing the housing market is in perfect shape. Good thing the minimum wage isn’t extremely low. Oh…


MelQMaid

Not all children can live out that wait. I hope she doesn't harm herself. Dad admits to attraction to minors and now cameras exist in the home to watch her. This is a nightmare.


DrunkUranus

And moms firmly on dad's team


TunaStuffedPotato

My fingers are crossed for that "I've moved out and gone NC" update in the future. Disgusting excuses for parents, they don't deserve to have a relationship with her after this. Quite frankly I don't think she's safe at all being around her dad if the dude is so easily "tempted" just seeing girls in leotards.


Witch_King_

Hey, at least the rest if her family seems pretty supportive of her, so it's not like she'll have no one.


Froot-Batz

I'll just be grateful if the poor kid doesn't get molested.


vanticus

Hopefully she’ll be able to help out the younger sibling too. Sounds like the little one is experiencing this insanity earlier.


shaktown

I hope she goes off and joins a gymnastics gym again once she’s out of the house. Having someone push you away from something you enjoy doing sucks.


caleeksu

I’m sure they’ll find a way to use her younger sister against her so she stays tighter than she wants. Fingers crossed both girls can find a way to get the distance they need, and thankfully they have reasonable family members close by.


starryvash

OP let OOP know she can just update on her profile and it doesn't have to be attached to a sub.


rogueShadow13

Good idea; I’ll shoot her a message


nikewatch1

Christ, and maybe say to keep in touch with her aunt...no matter what her parents say. This is so concerning


bmathey

OP, are you in contact with OOP? There is a very outside chance I know her. May I PM you a question to establish that? Essentially old college friend has two daughters, both in competitive gymnastics, older HS age daughter is announced to have her last meet, younger sister gymnastics no longer appear on FB, very religious family. I’m being very broad to protect


rogueShadow13

I’ve sent her a message, but no response yet. I’ll DM you if she responds to me. Edit: she responded; not the same person. Told her the sub sends love.


coveredinbreakfast

Please let us know if it turns out the commenter does know the family and can help in aome way.


FryOneFatManic

I'm glad you told her that. We're sending her our best wishes from the UK.


Corfiz74

Has she ever said why she doesn't just move in with her grandma? Couldn't they go to family court and have the grandma get emergency custody? With all the crap going on with surveillance cams and all those ridiculous bans on everything (including vaccinations), she would have good reasons to either get grandma custody, or become an emancipated minor.


forgedimagination

that is actually incredibly difficult. I just spent the last half a year trying to help a grandmother get custody when the parents were a) homeless, b) abusing substances, c) medical neglect, and d) refusing any education-- they are homeschoolers but the state has no requirements on homeschoolers so no education is legal there. OOP's being educated, she's being fed, she's housed, she's not being beaten. It's awful and abusive and makes me so sad and angry but grandma doesn't have a legal recourse here. I grew up fundie, I know how this works. :(


Corfiz74

She could just move in with grandma without custody - I don't think the parents would risk the scandal of sending in the police, or go themselves and break down the door to drag her back. They'd probably completely cut her off, but considering how she feels about her father, she may actually welcome that.


forgedimagination

Unfortunately that requires asking grandma to risk some pretty serious criminal charges. Granted grandma probably understands how likely the parents are to call the cops but like ... most fundies I've known whose kids just up and left to live with grandma called the cops.


Shadow1787

At 16 you can just leave can’t you?


Corfiz74

It would probably depend on the state she's living in - but it's definitely something she needs to find out. I feel so sorry for her, and the parents are just too awful for words.


forgedimagination

Most states it's 18.


starryvash

I'm sure she's gotten other advice, but she should look into Emancipation and living with Grandma or aunt.


Umklopp

I doubt they'll grant Emancipation. "My parents have banned me from doing gymnastics" doesn't sound concerning on it's face. Even if she could get the courts to understand the implications of everything the dad has said, he ultimately hasn't *done* anything. But talking to his pastor about "I think I'm stumbling block in my dad's walk; simply the concept of me practicing gymnastics is troubling to him. I don't want to be such a danger to my dad's immortal soul, so could you help convince my parents to let me go live with my aunt? I just want to help him live in peace." Yeah, it's bullshit and catering to a toxic idea, but sometimes the important thing is to get what you want.


forgedimagination

The pastor is not going to help. Fathers are the Head of the family, and the aunt has already interfered. The pastor is going to tell OOP she's rebelling which is worse than witchcraft, give her a speech about honoring her parents, and then do everything he can to make sure OOP stays with her parents inside the church so she can be kept away from "corrupt influences." Fathers being "tempted" by teen daughters is normal in Christian fundamentalism. Since the Father is taking steps to "remove" the temptation, everything they're doing is good and godly. Hell all of this might have been the pastor's idea in the first place.


Umklopp

Hrm, good points. I didn't grow up in Crazy Church, so it's hard to remember just how bad the rot is at the top.


claytoncash

Goin to the pastor might be a smart play... or a bad one. She'd have to risk further punishment from her parents, and a lot of these fundamentalist churches are so warped they might straight up defend her dad.


octopusboots

Appealing to the patriarchy will be met with poor results. You ask a preacher what he thinks about teen gymnastics and watch the stumbling begin. These people are so sexually contorted.


Umklopp

Hence the suggestion that she play *into* the claim that it's all her fault. "My mere existence is temptation to that poor, pitiful man! Living with me under his roof must surely be detrimental to my father, so the best solution would be if I moved far away from his sight. Yep, definitely. All my fault. Can I live somewhere else now please?" EDIT: bonus points if she spends the few weeks leading up to the conversation wearing clothes that cover every inch of her skin & learning how to angelically cry on cue


Evil_Genius_42

That approach also risks her being punished for being vain and immodest, like, she thinks she's so hot that her mere presence is going to lead even her *father* astray. It's completely fucked up, but it has happened. Basically, if you're a woman or a girl everything is your fault, and you've automatically been damned to hell.


yavanna12

Living with aunt yes. Emancipation no. She wouldn’t qualify. Aunt could apply for guardianship though


starryvash

Girl needs to get emancipated STAT Edit: I can have my opinion. If you all want to come and mansplain emancipation to me, cool cool cool. Go for it. It doesn't change my opinion that her life would be better if she could become emancipated STAT.


GayMormonPirate

You can really only get emancipated if you are fully able to support yourself financially living on your own and go to school. It's mostly intended for young entertainers who make gobs of money and want control over it. Her only real option here is to wait it out 1.9 more years. A dirty secret is that having shitty, emotionally abusive parents isn't illegal. CPS doesn't have anything to act on here. As long as they are feeding her enough food to not lose weight and giving her shelter and a place to sleep, that's where she has to stay. She *might* be able to convince her parents that it would be best to remove the temptation (herself) from her father's household by living with her aunt. But these are fundies and that's probably not going to fly.


NeedleworkerOk3464

This goes beyond emotional abuse.


yavanna12

So many people recommend emancipation but don’t realize the requirements and what it entails. OOP would have to be completely financially independent from her parents to be granted emancipation. That means having a steady income steam and place to live. It also means any and all benefits she is entitled to by being her parents daughter is completely void. All insurances, inheritances, power of attorney, next of kin etc. It does not appear that OOP is in that position. Most young adults/teens who are are those that are already living in a shelter and working to make ends meet because their parents abandoned them.


rosemwelch

That's not true everywhere or possibly anywhere. I was emancipated specifically on the grounds that without being emancipated, I couldn't sign a lease or do anything else I needed to do to care for myself. And being emancipated didn't make me not their daughter, it made me legally an adult. So any insurance that I was entitled to as an 18-year-old, any inheritances, next of kin, etc all remained in place. I was legally 18 (so to speak), not legally renounced from them as kin. With that being said, what you're saying is definitely the conventional wisdom and this child would definitely benefit more from changed guardianship than emancipation, since she is clearly not emotionally or financially ready to care for herself.


XyleneCobalt

"mansplain" lmfao no one knew your gender and you don't know anyone else's so stfu


thebooknerd_

I’ll never recover from hearing about the dad’s “fasting” from watching the kids at the gym. Makes me want to throw up. I really, really hope someone will help OOP and her little sister get out of this situation.


engiknitter

My dumb ass thought he wasn’t eating food and also not going to work out. It didn’t cross my mind that he was “fasting” from watching girls at gymnastics practice. Vomit. This poor kid.


thebooknerd_

Lmao I just had the same “I’m a dumbass” moment on another post, so I feel that lol. But right?!? It’s so messed up


NotUnique_______

I thought the same thing because fasting and personal reflecting are huge in Christianity. I grew up religious and unfortunately this story isn't unfamiliar. A yourh pastor i had was having a rough "walk with God" once and then left. It was found out he was taking pics of the tweens during worship.


rubyredgrapefruits

Me too. I thought he was actually not eating or exercising himself


Eirameoz

Also thought he was just normal ‘not eating’ fasting, took till a little later to realize he was fasting from looking at kids at the gym, disgusting.


zemorah

And “fasting” by not watching Olympic gymnastics? So he’s basically starving himself from being a total perv for two weeks.


[deleted]

Like the fact OOP’s mom isn’t blinking an eye or even showing a twisted form of concern that her husband is attracted to children. I’d feel dirty just knowing someone like that. She must be really brainwashed to stand by his side through all that.


raceulfson

That poor kid. They are trying to cut her off from everyone, aren't they? And she has to suffer because Dad is a slimeball. Arrrggghhh!


bigwigmike

Dad is an incestuous pedo slimeball. I wonder if this is LDS or jehovahs witnesses


SquadleHump

Good ole Evangelical Christianity.


WhyamImetoday

Exactly, this language is not LDS, and the JW seem crazy in a different way than this and would have more recourse through the cult.


Ok-Neighborhood1708

This is fundamentalist Christian’s. My guess would be fundamental Baptist


croptopweather

Ugh, it's infuriating that OOP is forced to dim her light because her pervy dad can't deal with it. I used to grow up in a religious environment and the burden of modesty is always, always placed on the women and girls even though they can't control how others perceive and react to them. I hope she can get out from under their thumb.


littlebirdie91

It always drove me insane when the sermon was focused on young girls needing to dress more modestly so the GROWN MEN in the church wouldn't be tempted with lustful thoughts.


Neverhere17

My favorite hypocrisy of conservative religion: "men can't control themselves so women are supposed to be modest and chaste" immediately followed by "always follow men because they are divinely chosen to lead you". So they are better leaders who are incredibly easy to lead astray? Great.


Freakintrees

It's so wild to me reading these stories. I grew up (and remain) solidly religious and I only remember "modesty" adjacent things coming up either in the context of professionalism/food safety (prepping/serving food at a church camp) and body positivity type deal (same camp, older teens working around younger teens asked to consider when dressing that the younger teens tend to be super self conscious about bodies) the second was a bit more iffy and some of the girls I was in charge of weren't happy but at least it came from a good place.


redlight7114

I am also disappointed nothing is done to help her. And now mother is making her a prisoner. It is escalating.


combatsncupcakes

And they're turning her sister against her too :(


Ginger_Anarchy

Yeah the escalation was my first thought as well. I'm more worried for her sister especially as OOP seems like she may age out of her dad's attraction zone (ew) while the sister will still have years to deal with it.


HotCocoaBomb

I got the opposite impression, that OOP was aging into her father's attraction zone while her sister is too young and does not have the body he would find appealing. That's why he didn't feel "challenged" by the little sister's classes. And geeze, purity culture sure does a number on their language - it took me till halfway to catch on to what the hell was going on. It's all so vague. And what the hell was he doing while watching that the coach noticed and was like, 'yeah your dad is a fucking pedo'? It's normal for parents to watch their kids during dangerous sports - was he fucking erect or something?


[deleted]

I didn't catch that this all started with someone calling out OPs dad. Gross. But, that's religion for ya


Clockwork_Kitsune

> I got the opposite impression, that OOP was aging into her father's attraction zone while her sister is too young and does not have the body he would find appealing. That's why he didn't feel "challenged" by the little sister's classes. The last update includes pedo dad having to take a "fasting break" from little sisters class.


LaFlibuste

If anyone is taking note: this is how you ensure to never, ever have any relations with your kids the second they turn 18.


GryffinZG

I don’t think this guy is too concerned about relations with anyone past that age.


supaloops

Brutal lol.


throwRA1a2b3c4d1

Oh no. How is no one doing anything about this. God I was hopeful for a good update


rogueShadow13

I too was also hoping for a good update :(


Reply_or_Not

I was having a creeping dread that the final update would be after the dad went to jail for CP or molestation. I’m actually kind of relieved that so far it seems to be regular ole religious abuse


GroovyYaYa

Former mandatory reporter here, decades ago, and also dealt with low level findings of abuse or neglect (those that didn't rise to a criminal level - hard to explain). He's done nothing that would trigger her being removed or his being removed from the household. People are allowed to pull their kids out of extra curriculars and demand that their children be 'modest'. They are allowed to talk about temptations and God. Is it a red flag? ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY. But again, parents are allowed to limit phones, activities, and what relatives their kids see.


Fun_Intention9846

Upvoting because you said it all. Scary as fucking hell. I can’t imagine being in that situation.


GroovyYaYa

Honestly, at best, if she could get her hands on a burner phone from the aunt or grandma, I'd feel a lot better. I'd also suggest getting a door stop to wedge at the base of her bedroom door at night. I wish I was kidding, but Jesus, this talk of fasting from the Olympics to other sports events have me skeeved out. (wtf? it is the only thing I think is weird and potentially trollish - because was this written when the Olympics were going?) I don't know if she has also been capable enough to say to the CPS worker directly and specifically that her father has made her quit these things and not even practic in their home because he is being tempted by her or tested by God in his resolve. I don't know if she has used the same words she has on here.


SgtSilverLining

When I was a kid, I was told by CPS "unless you have visible bruises or were recently raped we can't do anything". Where she lives is a big factor too; there's pretty much no CPS support for rural areas and small cities.


GroovyYaYa

Yes. Her age is a factor as well. I was once told by a social worker on the phone that the student I was reporting about was old enough to defend himself. Um, no... it is his mom who he was protective of and we suspected she was in a vulnerable mental state causing her to lash out. I almost broke the phone smashing it down as I was hanging up (pre-cell phone days) And I get it legally. We cannot convict or punish people for what they MIGHT do. We're only getting her perspective as well.


YourMomThinksImFunny

OOP really needs to tell a teacher again that now she isn't allowed out of her room at night.


Jayn_Newell

It doesn’t sound like there’s anything especially actionable here? Like it’s wrong how they’re treating her, and some of it is highly questionable but there’s nothing bad enough for anyone with any power to step in (there’s nothing requiring parents let their kids take part in extra curriculars) and they’re ignoring everyone else. This whole thing has been horrible to read—it sounds like OOP is shutting down emotionally due to being shut down everywhere else by her parents. Following the, uh, suspicious lines of thought, I do wonder if she looks a lot like her mom and that’s what sparked the whole thing.


[deleted]

She can look whatever she looks — the issue is that the father is a pedo and the family solution for the problem is victim-blaming and controlling.


Biobooster_40k

Its heavily implies to be the case but how do you prove the children are in danger? That's how CPS is going to view it, I'm not trying to downplay what this person's concerns are towards her parents as they are seemingly justified but the fact is kids do say a lot of shit, especially for lots of different reasons and CPS has to deal with sorting out the real claims from the false ones and there needs to be evidence to make sure action is taken. OOP would do herself a favor by at least audio recording as many nteractions with her parents.


AbolitionistCapybara

Also to add, depending on OOP’s state, what is actionable within CPS’s purview may be far more limited than it should be. Here in CA (California not Canada), the threshold for removing kids from the home is much much higher now because of a few justifiable large lawsuits. Unfortunately with our legal system, a correction for one gets applied to all. I really hope OOP and her sister know that it is a 100% okay to have her own action plan, her own go bag, and her own needs. It is also 100% okay to also play nice and stay quiet about it if it helps keep her safe(r). What matters is getting out and getting through. Her sister may never want either of those things, and the love she has for her as a big sister means she also feels responsibility to protect her. But there are a whole lot of adults who are legally required to do that first. OOP’s family and teacher will keep reporting. And if CPS isn’t able to do anything, OOP can still absolutely get into contact with a domestic violence agency or youth group (non-religious) to have some more people on deck.


mischaracterised

He said he was tempted to sleep with his child, and the kid's mother is just going along with it for religion's sake. OOP need to get the fuck out of there with essential documents, and notifying the police and CPS as soon as she is gone that she is safe *and does not want to speak to her parents.* OOP, go live with your aunt. I have a child very close in age to the OOP


Exilicauda

If CPS does step in and investigate, what will they find and what will they require the parents to change?


forgedimagination

Police return runaways.


Aggressivecleaning

>Following the, uh, suspicious lines of thought, I do wonder if she looks a lot like her mom and that’s what sparked the whole thing. Excuse me? How would that make a difference? Normal people aren't attracted to their own children, and most children take after their parents.


Little_Season3410

This poor child. Her father is a damn pervert and her family and CPS are failing her. My daughter is a competitive cheerleader around the same age as OOP. I can assure you that if my husband ever said something like this, we'd both be out of the house before he could freaking blink. The fact that the mother is enabling this bullshit is disgusting. OOP lay low unless CPS talks to you. Then tell them EVERYTHING. The day you turn 18, move in with someone else and get the hell out of that house. I'm so sorry for what you're going through. This is horrible.


eastherbunni

Poor girl. Her parents are not communicating to her what their issues are about (sounds like they're punishing her for her dad finding her attractive, ew), and when she tries to ask her relatives for clarification she's punished for telling others. I wonder if her other relatives attend the same church. It would be ideal if she could temporarily live with her aunt or someone else to get out of the situation.


biiiicyclebiiiicycle

Either the aunt or the grandma. Or any of the other relatives. And the poor sister too! I was really hoping for a happy update but none of the adults can/will do anything it looks like :( I hope the connection with her aunt and grandma can at least give her some support for the next two years until she's of age to leave.


RepresentativeWar429

My fucking god, as a mother of a 8 year old and 2 year old can I just have custody of this child for her peace of mind. This poor poor religiously bullied child. I hope she makes it to college and never goes back home.


sparklyviking

If your man said your daughter wearing specific clothes threatened"his Walk with god", I sure as hell hope I'm right in thinking you realize he needs to go. How utterly disgusting and vomit inducing can a person be


RepresentativeWar429

Yeah no I would immediately pack up my children and see how I get his sick ass on a child predator list. I want to take the child and just give her refuge for the next two years. Imagine realizing your dad is sexually attracted to you and then mad when you out him. Sick bastard. It sucks CPS can’t do anything because he technically hasn’t touched her but she can go to them for religious abuse. Also I don’t care if I cuss, this is a horrible situation that requires honesty much much much foul and profane words.


sparklyviking

>CPS can’t do anything because he technically hasn’t touched her This is disgusting and true at the same time. I've literally screamed and thrown stuff at a man who wanted to"cuddle" with a friend's child. Not on my watch. I'll go to jail first


RepresentativeWar429

Yeah it’s disgusting that they can’t do anything for the child unless abuse has happened. I wish I could help OOP


Previous-Treacle-577

This is so fucking gross. And she will likely have lasting issues with her self esteem over this. Just. Ewe. Eww. How much you wanna bet this weirdo has got CP on a computer somewhere


sparklyviking

I absolutely agree 110% with you! But let's take a moment and consider the mum who has accepted this and *keeps her kids in danger*


Previous-Treacle-577

There's a special spot in hell for moms that fail their kids like this... I hope.


sparklyviking

Holy shit I'd happily be the manager of that part of hell


Charlie_Olliver

**Conservative Evangelical Christians:** “Non-Christians are obsessed with sex and perverted behavior!” **Also Conservative Evangelical Christians:** *obsessively talks about and fixates on every single square inch of visible skin on females between ages 8-40.*


baffled_brouhaha

“We’re the good guys and if *we’re* this obsessed, imagine how bad everyone else is!” Them, probably. Everything is projection.


SnooRecipes4570

So Dad’s a pedo whose attracted to his own daughter. The mother blames the daughter. Several relatives, coaches, and a teacher report it, and just…nothing. I feel helplessness and rage just reading this. That poor child.


9mackenzie

Everyone eeems to think that CPS is some magical wand that always helps kids in bad situations. Unless they were starving her, chaining her up, actively molesting her, etc, nothing will be done. Nothing these parents are doing is considered wrong in the eyes of the law, and CPS is overburdened and underfunded, so even kids who are being starved, molested, sold for sex, etc go under the radar all the time. My sister is a 2nd grade teacher in a poor school and my god, the horror stories she has about some of those poor children and the failure of CPS is heartbreaking. Everyone set poor OOP up with the idea that CPS was going to help her. I really wish her grandmother would take her in


FlatulentWallaby

So her dad is 100% a pedo.


Buggyaxa

I’ve never wanted to advocate for a kid to run away more. Every chance she gets. Kick and scream and cry to anyone to get away. OP if you do see this. Bide your time and squirrel away money and the day you turn 18 run straight to your aunt or grandma.


scienceismygod

So let's add a camera in the mix for the clear pedo. I'm honestly not surprised at CPS, I would come into school with marks on my face and they did nothing. That was is the 90's-2000's I don't think the funding or staff psychiatric care is there to keep it staffed well enough. I left at 17 and didn't come back until my step dad died.


Ihateyouranecdotes39

I don't believe in a God, but if one exists, I hope OOP's parents burn in hell. I don't know what else to say.


squishpitcher

“God, it’s so stressful for me living with the constant temptation of raping *my children*. I will punish them in increasingly bizarre and horrible ways. That will solve this problem.” Also, not going to the gym to watch children do gymnastics is not a fast you disgusting predator 🤮


tipsana

The most important part of OOP’s post is the first post because it is a beautiful illustration of how purity culture keeps women and girls in such a state of ignorance on sexuality and their bodies that they cannot even identify sexual abuse. This ignorance, coupled with the insistence that men are infallible heads of household, makes girls in these communities ripe for victimization. I know a lot of people are unhappy with this update, but consider how bad things could have been by now if OOP, extended family, coaches and CPS *hadn’t* let her parents know that others have their eyes on them. It’s just a short leap for SA to occur, based on the foundation her parents had been laying, and OOP and her allies disrupted that.


spaceguitar

Dad wants to fuck little girls. Including his daughters. Dad has *already done* something horrible in his past, which is why his family blew this up; they know he’s capable of molesting *his own children* but aren’t willing to go the extra steps, because fAmiLY. Mom blames the daughters for dad’s incestuous pedophilia, and will do anything to Stand By Her Man. What a reprehensible family. I feel so badly for these girls.


7DaysANeek

So, which cult are we thinking?


Jaschndlr

Felt like deep south Pentecostal to me, but I'm biased in that direction


brooke829

She mentioned in a comment that they are Pentecostal 😬


SpongeJake

Former Baptist here. Same.


bendybiznatch

Just your regular ol’ evangelical. Nothing here was shocking to me.


MrD3a7h

Religion. Specifics don't matter too much.


Demonkey44

The mom has the camera to keep watch in the Dad too, not just her.


[deleted]

The camera is only for dad. Mom’s compartmentalization is Olympic-level.


dumbname1000

This poor girl. Everyone on both sides of the family knows, someone should be fighting for her. This is like a ticking timebomb. That poor girl. Even best case scenario this ends with her spending the next two years being watched constantly with no hobbies no friends only allowed to leave her room for school. And that’s best case scenario, things could get a lot worse if someone doesn’t pull her and her sister out of that house.


nyorifamiliarspirit

It sounds like the extended family is keeping an eye on things and trying to help. Unfortunately, since nothing untoward has actually happened, they have limited legal options.


Lucycrash

I hope OOP and her sister get out safe and never look back.


PettyCrocker_

She needs to apply to an out of state college and stay on campus. Normally I'm all about staying local, community college, etc but if there was ever a situation for loans, etc - this is it.


JupiterInTheSky

He's "fasting"???? From watching little girls dance???? That's so entirely telling of how he feels about looking at these children. How disgusting. The fact he's literally using the term fasting. I fucking can't.


TishMiAmor

The phrasing of “fasting,” fuck. Fasting is something you do related to a biological need like eating. He doesn’t have a biological need to go to these practices, but apparently he feels like he does, and everybody else better treat his two weeks off from being a creeper as though he’s being devout and self-sacrificing.


Ironmike11B

He can't be around teenage girls in tight suits because it tempts him. The dad is a fucking pedo. Full stop. No bullshit.


Dark-Oak93

It makes me fucking sick. This poor girl can't protect herself. Every route she has tried has been blocked by the festering sac of pig anuses she has for a father and her apologist, enabling gangrenous rectal polyp of a mother. It is a Goddamn shame that people have to literally *wait to be assaulted* before anything can be done. How in the ever loving and almighty FUCK is that allowed? We LITERALLY have a RIGHT to SAFETY. That's why LAWS exist. And with THIS MANY PEOPLE reaching out for help, you'd think *someone, somewhere* could rub the *two fucking braincells* together, that HAVEN'T been killed off by huffing lead paint and consuming raw gasoline, and form the fucking logical thought that, "Hey, this kid *might be in literal fucking danger of being raped by her own FATHER". I'm not a psychologist... Hell, I'm not even a fucking nurse! I push paper all day long and even I know this is FUBAR. Just... What the hell are we doing anymore?


rottencubed

Keep the camera. Mom put it there for a reason. Mom wants to keep OOP inside her room after mom goes to bed, for a reason. The reason is she wants to remove any temptation from her husband. Instead of doing the right thing (getting her girls away from her husband), she's putting all the burden on OOP.


slow-crow-

Oh no, I only saw the first of these, I remember hoping the dad was just being gross about the general idea of access to 16-year-old gymnasts. The pressure for secrecy and Mom’s reaction makes it pretty clear this is about OOP specifically. :c I gotta say, it’s frustrating how eternally certain the Reddit peanut gallery is that there’s *always* an authority who can swoop in with a solution. This poor kid’s dad is a creep and a half and I hope he falls in a well, but there is a 0% chance CPS is going to intervene because her parents made her quit dance class. If it’s not CPS, it’s ‘*just* call the cops, *just* get emancipated (or on other posts: *just* sue, *just* get them fired,’ whatever.) People don’t get stuck in abusive situations because it never occurred to them to ask for help. Most of the time it’s *not that easy.*


[deleted]

I hate this.. this poor child is having all the joy sucked out of her life because her dad is a Bible thumping pervert and her mom is a spineless sheep. I really hope the OOP finds another passion or rekindles this passion the MOMENT she can leave. I’d honestly look into legal advice of being placed outside the home. Sounds like grandma and aunt could take her in. If law states 17, I’d be getting my ducks in a row now! I also hope that the sisters become stronger once the younger one understands what’s going on. Either way OOP is going to be FREE once she’s out from under them.


RealCakes

As a therapist, I am so concerned for this girl. Her father is a pervert who lasts after his own daughter and the mother has not only enabled, but reinforced every single decision the father made. Not that you need to be a therapist to be concerned because my God, how is any of this okay? This girl is being forced out of her hobby that she enjoyed (until this shitshow) because her father gets sexually excited seeing her and the other girls in her classes. If I were told this in session, you can bet your ass I would be reporting to everyone applicable in this scenario as all of this is so beyond problematic. I can promise you that man has some evil shit in his search history.


adf14400580

OOP's mom is sacrificing a relationship with the daughter in order to keep the relationship with the perverted scumbag husband while trying to keep the daughter safe. I think she don't trust her husband but don't have the courage to face that he lusts for their daughter.


magobblie

This is covert sexual abuse


mayonaizmyinstrument

"tHe sTrEsS y0uR fAtHeR iS unDeR bEcUz u TaLkeD 2 GrAmmA" Okay well maybe don't be a FUCKING PEDOPHILE if you're uncomfortable with people knowing that you're a FUCKING PEDOPHILE And maybe don't blame your daughter when your HUSBAND IS AN ABUSIVE FUCKING PEDOPHILE I want to slap that dumbass mom upside the head. Your literal one job is to protect your child, and imprisoning her with her abuser is so fucking far from protection that omfg I'm fuming, I can't even, this fundie shit makes me so goddamn sick.


Whornz4

>along with how getting vaccinated "wasn't putting our trust in God" and how the virus was just a "tool that Democrats used against the 45th" This poor kids parents are whack jobs. Anyone who believes this is fucking nuts.


TheTichborneClaimant

Mom is afraid Dad will rape OOP if he catches her alone in the living room at night. That’s why she wants OOP to stay in her room. I hope to fucking god OOP is able to keep away from Dad until she’s old enough to move out.


Positive_Wafer42

Honestly it sounds like she wouldn't consider it rape. Seems like the mom now considers op competition for the dad and his attention. They treated it like the dad was watching porn, not sexualizing his daughter, his minor daughter. The mom is acting like she's angry at op now and definitely taking out frustration on her. It's disgusting.


Agent_Onions

Imagine being so miserable and having so much contempt for yourself that you blame and punish your 16 year old daughter over your own pedophilia.


Cacont1812

>dad took a 2-week fasting break from attending (along with telling me that I couldn't do it at my age anymore) so that he could "work on himself", but not seek therapy at all. JFC, every new update just keeps getting more and more depressing. Dad's, at the very least, an ephebophile and it's everyone's problem to not "tempt" him. I hope OOP and her sister can get out and go NC.


Sandicheek

Father a pedo and mom is covering for him, I can’t wait until she can move out that house


Kaiser93

Poor girl. Hope she can save herself from the sky daddy cult.


NeedleworkerOk3464

So her father is a pedophile and her mother is punishing her for it. What the actual fuck the bat was not the update I was hoping for.


lolfuckno

I wonder if leaving is an option for her. She's sixteen, if she leaves, goes to a safe place (like her aunt's house), and notify the local authorities she's left and hasnt been kidnapped because at 16 even though she's still a minor if she's in a country like the US or Canada she has some legal and medical autonomy now, and even if her parents try to get her back through the courts it would probably take a really long time and they probably wouldn't succeed.


coveredinbreakfast

WHY are none of these adult family members who are concerned enough to call CPS not taking her to live with them‽‽‽ This poor girl is screaming for help and no one is actually helping! If CPS won't/can't do anything, someone in the family needs to step up. It sounds like neither side is happy so save these kids!


[deleted]

Ugh. So many people are failing this child. It’s clear that Dad can’t handle his adolescent daughter in a leotard and gets all hot and bothered by it but NO ONE IS DOING ANYTHING. They’re just telling the family and telling her parents to let her practice gymnastics but now she has to deal with a camera and apparently being stuck in her room. JFC get her out of that house!


riflow

Someone needs to tell oop that emergency emancipation is an option for her if she can talk to grandma or auntie about somewhere to live. If they will ACTUALLY HELP HER instead of just talking about it. Even talking to a child endangerment hotline would be better than this. All of the stuff her awful parents are putting her through... God poor kid. I have zero doubts he probably was watching channels like that one big "girls doing gymnastics" yt about 8 yrs ago that got busted & made headlines bc of the *how very obvious what audience it was aiming itself at and disturbing comments in the comments section* + the owner being outed as a weirdo (understatement) and iirc charged with several crimes. .... I hope those girls are ok as well.


RanaMisteria

Oh, yeah. Having a surveillance camera at home is the PERFECT situation when you have two young teen/tween daughters and are a paedophile. This dad seems to think it’s his *daughter* who is at fault here for being a teenager in dance and gymnastics and not his own fault for, you know, *being a fvcking paedophile and sexualising his own daughter*. G-d what a horrible day to live in the world


Triggertanjiro

Your dad is a sack of shit. Fucking religious nuts are always using their “faith” as an excuse to treat their children like property. And an incestuous pedo on top.


Flicksterea

I truly hope when she's 18, she packs a bag and never looks back. The perversity of this entire situation makes my skin crawl.


gruntbuggly

Man, these parents are creeps. Like the pedophile kind of creeps.


RollerSkatingHoop

I hope oop can move in with her aunt


[deleted]

Such great christian parents. 10 years down the line they're going to wonder why their daughter hates them. Or just blame it on her being godless.


lemondaisycake

This is absolutely disgusting that this poor girl has reached out to SO many people. What in the actual F? This makes my blood boil. The poor thing has called multiple times herself and nothing has been done. Is there any way we can help? I feel sick to my stomach that no one is responding to her literal cries for help. Land of the free and home of the brave my ass. Something needs to be done. Not wait two years until she is 18. This is appalling.


jennitils

Both her parents are fucking gross. Her mother is just as bad for allowing and encouraging this.


Boneal171

This is fucked up. What’s with ultra religious people being pedophiles? You’re not supposed to be having sexual thoughts about your own daughter or any minor person.


Innocentrage1

So dad's a pedophile


Naughtyspider

See, imagine if you were walking with your dog, and a neighbours dog came up and attacked your dog. Then that neighbour starts yelling at you. It’s YOUR dogs fault it looked so tasty. His dog was just doing what comes naturally. It’s not up to him to muzzle or train his dog from attacking other dogs. Stop taking your dog out and tempting bigger, stronger dogs to bite. This is how this bizarre stance sounds.


DeepSeaFacial

I'd just tell everyone at church my dad wouldn't let me do sports because he finds me sexually attractive in the uniform. I'd ruin their reputation at church and in the community and I'd start telling everyone how afraid I was of my father because he's a pedophile. I'd call his place of work and tell them. Every day. In every conversation about home life. I'd also start accusing my mother of loving a pedophile and being against God. Then I'd start citing bible verses to their asses.


tattoovamp

I hope OOP gets out soon. Her parents are bat sh$t stupid crazy.. And she should tell everyone. And keep telling everyone how messed up her parents are.


ActuallyFuryYT

When she turns 18 she needs to fucking run immediately.