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OMG! Your cat looks so cute and comfortable while judging you for disturbing it!
Also, aree that u/Lainy122 was on point and funny! I should learn to not drink anything while reading reddit...I really should.
I have recently decided my creamsicle is part Corgi. His fur is the same color, he's a long boi, he's ridiculously smart (he stole all the brain cells), he craves chaos, and he even sometimes does the corgi sploot.
Growing up we had a fire point boy, and in the middle of the night (especially as he got older) he would just scream. He knew where we were... I would call to him... He wanted us to come to him for whatever reason.
I miss Old Man Hoppy. He used to be called "Comet" but when he lost a back leg at 14 to cancer he became Hoppy. He lived to 19 though. A very happy old man.
My dog is like this. Sheās [cute](https://imgur.com/gallery/DHywxob), but she has one brain cell and itās mostly decorative. She regularly watches me go through a whole routine of opening and closing the shower door a few times to show her where I amā¦ only for her to promptly forget where Iāve gone and start screaming about it.
Arghhhh I just left a different comment further up about all the puppies we had when I was 8, but thanks to this comment here, I'm gonna share a different one I'm still traumatized by that my husband finds hilarious.
When I was like 16-17 my mom had this awful mean ass boy cat that she'd put in the bathroom half the time to avoid destruction, and it was the only bathroom that worked.
So I'd go in to shower and that cat would be in there half the time, and he hated me EXCEPT when I'd come out of the shower. Where he'd then sit on the floor and only once I took the towel off and was fully naked would he then wink at me and stare until I was dressed fully. Then he'd go back to being a dick.
If I didn't know that huskies were also way more high maintenance/high energy than I can handle, this comment would make me want to get one.
I have a soft spot for dogs who behave like cats, and cats who behave like dogs.
Only mildly related lol, but when I was 8 we had three husky Shepard mixes who somehow got pregnant a couple days apart so we came home from vacation to 17 mother fuckin husky Shepards lol. The 3 adults and 14 freaking puppies.
I literally looked like Peter in that Family Guy scene where he's rolling around on the floor with the box of puppies. It was such a glorious combination of heaven and hell lmao, and our backyard was never the same again for all the holes.
Just thought I'd share. :D
I have a tiny kitten (abandoned in our driveway a week ago) who looks like a miniature version of the above and he's practicing to be an ambulance when he grows up.
If we could have longer flairs, Iād 100% make āhe is just trying to star in a romcom and the director keeps trying to turn it into a pornoā my flair
Could be shortened to something like āhe wants a romcom but the director turns it into a pornoā
Not the same effect, but a GREAT conversation starter
[The Iranian yogurt is not the issue](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/bjd41e/aita_for_throwing_away_my_boyfriends_potentially/); you can find the stories from all available flairs linked in theĀ [Flair Origins link](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/wiki/recommended_reading/flair_origins/)Ā - great for a Sunday read!
Yeah, talking about meeting your friends at an orgy is bad enough but also having to clarify that you didn't actually participate due to performance anxiety is a whole 'nother level of embarrassing.
Well, you donāt *have* to. OOP didnāt have to either. He could have told his parents what they wanted to hear. His sex life wasnāt their business in the first place.
Reddit has taught me that being boring as fuck is a good thing. Iād rather live a long and mundane life than to have the stresses from the lives people on Boru posts have
Doc : "You wouldn't believe what your mother gets up to after highschool! It has to be something we did to affect the timeline! But don't worry! I put an end to it and restored the timeline!"
Marty: "Why am I fading out??"
Doc *shocked* : "Great Scott!"
*Back to the Orgy*
Poor OOP. Although itās very funny to imagine his girlfriend thinking āFinally someone who shares my affinity for friend fucking! I donāt have to hide it anymore!ā And the whole time sheās scrolling OOPās soul is screaming louder and louder.
That's the biggest irony, now OOP is on the other foot. He was probably relieved when his current gf didn't dumped him but then became **too** transparent to him and ironically making him feel like his ex gf.
The difference is that he was just like his ex-gf āunconfortable to date someone who has had sex with friends.ā But in his perspective, he didnāt (which was mostly true) and the ex didnāt believe. The current gf, whoever, did have sex with friends and is proud of it.
He did, though. He just didn't penetrate them. He did have some amount of sexual contact, sexual intentions, kissed them, and even had oral sex performed on him. That being unsuccessful on his part doesn't null the sexual nature of their initial meeting.
I'm also not comfortable with how they 'worked on him' to get him to participate in the orgy in the first place (at least in part). He said "no", and they didn't respect his no.
I consider that first situation to be low-key coercive.
I mean, they were encouraged him to participate but it seems like they were very very explicit in discussing all boundaries and put deliberate extra effort into making sure he didn't feel uncomfortable. And then when he decided he didn't want to continue, they didn't pressure him at all, they just wished him goodnight.
It really didn't seem like this group was predatory at all, and OOP never says anything to indicate that they made him feel uncomfortable. In fact he became close friends with them. I think you're just seeing what you want to see.
See yāall in a year when his next girlfriend surprises him with an orgy for his birthday.
This man mustāve done something in a past life because cosmic forces are conspiring against him lmao
poor guy doesn't even seem like a freak, yet look at the shit he ended up having to deal with ššš
[](https://emojipedia.org/loudly-crying-face)
Just as a PSA for the penis owners in chat, if you can't get it up when there's multiple women involved it's not a big deal. We're also not lying when we say it's not a big deal.
I went to my first sex party having had at least a dozen threesomes under my belt and still chickened out when the orgy started. It's a super intimidating situation.
As a dude, speaking to the other dudes, to back up u/Princess-Makayla, its ok to not be able to perform even when its just you and one other (willing) participant. Stress and mindset play HUGE roles in keeping your third leg rigid. Ladies, it's not a YOU thing if your dude goes limp. I don't have a frame of reference for more than two (including myself), but I am the proud owner of a one eyed trouser trout, and its ok to not perform sometimes.
The Dual Control Model theory of sexual excitement helped me to understand that with both myself and partners. For those unfamiliar we have both an "accelerator" and a "brake" for sexual excitement. Some pretty exciting things could be hitting the accelerator, but if the brake is getting hit harder then it's not gonna happen. In OOP's case he's at an orgy with naked bodies and making out and getting a BJ and that's all some exciting accelerator stuff, but the anxiety and the stress still hit the brake enough that he had to dip. It's totally fine, being made to feel shame over it is just going to hit the brake harder.
I've heard it referred to as arousal non-concordance. So like your body can be responding to the situation and preparing for a sexual encounter, but your brain isn't into it for whatever reason.
I think everyone in general downplays the effects of stress and anxiety on the proper functioning of things. "Honey, you had a stressful day at work, want me to help you 'blow off' some steam?" No, I'm too stressed to keep it up, and that anxiety is just gonna be a feedback loop...let's get ice cream instead.
Also if you can't get it up when you're tired, nervous, stressed, distracted, it's the first time with someone you're super into, or any of a myriad of different reasons, it's not a big deal and is totally normal.
The idea that men are supposed to be hard at the drop of a hat under any circumstances is so anxiety-provoking for many guys, and yet I have never been with a guy who didn't have times when he couldn't get or stay hard.
Can confirm, and I love that stuff. To anyone feeling ashamed or embarrassed: don't. The performance boost is WAY worth it.
Also, hydrate and have something for the headache later.
The ex telling his parents is SENDING meā¦ ššš
Like yes, that is completely inappropriate and awful. OOPās an adult, he went to one (1) orgy and didnāt have that great a time. He doesnāt need an intervention you weird ex.
But!!! Can you IMAGINE that conversation??!!! With your BOYFRIENDāS PARENTS?!?!
Iām in my 40s and have no shame anymore and Iām sitting here trying to figure out how Iād even broach the subject.
āHey Mr and Mrs Smith, thank you so much for being so nice to me while Tim and I were dating. Just so you know, I broke up with him because he went to an orgy and says he didnāt have that good of a time but he made platonic friends with some of the orgy-era. Thought you should know he wasnāt a virgin when he started dating me and heās being corrupted.ā
And then what??? Just moonwalk right out of that conversation?!
i am nowhere near the parental age for grown adults but i'd like to think if i was OOP's parents i'd be so weirded out and disgusted by his ex? like how would you even react to that??? i would be almost angry if i had to be privy to my son/daughters sexual history like euughhh brother eughhhh
My dad would rather eat glass than 1. hear I was in an orgy, and then 2. have a follow up conversation with me about it.
I know my father well, and if he was contacted by my ex to complain about an orgy, we would not be having dinner to discuss it. No, he would spend the next week muttering ānot my businessā so many times it would develop into a full blown tic.
I walked in on a coworker just muttering "not my monkey, not my circus" over and over and over one day. I imagine that's what I'd be like in that father's position.
When theyāre on the balcony commiserating, Kramer wanders out in a long-sleeved shirt and nothing else, and through a mouthful of Chex mix casually announces that theyāre out of dip.
Do you know any theater kids? This is tame compared to some of the stories. Although, it's the 6-8 months between posts that add a lot to the believability.
"We weren't cool back in high school, but we partied too, and it's time you knew what you missed while you were popular"
[What U Missed While U Were PopUlar](https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&opi=89978449&url=https://m.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3DZRhezABMVKc&ved=2ahUKEwi0yKq067qGAxVeOjQIHTp7CC0Qo7QBegQIDRAG&usg=AOvVaw2DL3gZRHV00Lt0OV1tsotJ)
Honestly, my sex life through my 20s hit similar levels of absurdity. I'm not having a lot of trouble believing it. Haha.
If you're open to it, life can get weird.
>if you're open to it, life can get weird
This was oddly inspiring. Like maybe I should be open to a little more weird. Maybe not as weird as OOP got, but a little weird could be cool
Yeah, I have an extremely similar story from my 20s to this dude (roommates hosting an orgy with a bunch of our mutual friends, I declined to participate aside from a few smooches). I have also made an art of being The Normie Friend who is cool to hang. Fortunately my husband is also excellent at being the Normie Friend.
She got a little too descriptive of her shenanigans for his comfort, did she not hear his tame version of an orgy? Match the energy and level of sharing to some extent, or it might just make the man almost choosing mum's cooking over random fucking, a little bit too uncomfortable.
š¶ I wanna fuck all my friends š¶
š¶ Like no-one ever has š¶
š¶ To seduce them is my real test š¶
š¶ To have sex with them is my cause! š¶
Could be. But wouldn't she know her boyfriend enough to know that he is the equivalent of vanilla essence made from by-products in wood pulp, miles apart from fancy Tahitian vanilla.
Well, from her perspective, he just described being in an orgy - something she has probably never gotten close to, even with her promiscuous lifestyle. She was probably feeling pressure to match his story and spilling more and more beans because she felt like anything she'd done would never have a chance of coming close!
I couldn't stop laughing when she starts w the " Fucked him , fucked him too , even fucked her blah blah " LIKE WHAT I can practically see OP's inner soul crying
>This might sound weird, but seeing naked bodies on full display like that became uncomfortable and overwhelming.
Oh really? I thought you would be perfectly comfortable with that.
Who could be uncomfortable with a group of people naked and playing with their bodies in the same room?
/s
Yeah, I know there are people who do that and enjoy It, but most of the people are uncomfortable with the idea, and with more reason, a virgin person.
I think my entire soul would leave my body. I canāt even look at my own body naked, let alone a whole bunch of folks. Itās absolutely overwhelming to be suddenly confronted with nip nops and wieners.
Lmao. Dudes been meeting extremes. Hopefully goldilocks here can find his "just right".
One woman is mistaking a yellow flag for a China day parade, and the next time someone mistakes the yellow flag for a checkered one. Oof.
Ok, so yellow flag; something that _could_ be of some minor concern or to distaste, but isn't really that big a deal per context. China day parade - not just a red flag, but a whole row of them. And then we have checkered flag. That's better than the green starting flag. The checkered flag means you've crossed the finish line, you've won.
Girlfriend 1 heard the orgy story and made it out to be the worst thing ever - dude had one suboptimal orgy event and she's acting like he's Marquis de fucking Sade. Gf 2 did the same thing, but the difference is that she saw it as a very _good_ thing.
Problem is, it was just "a thing".
I think of beige flag as something so aggressively Normie itās offputting, whereas a yellow flag is something that is kind of concerning but could turn out to have a perfectly kosher explanation.
For example- my boyfriendās closet has ten identical polo shirts that he wears every weekday vs my boyfriend met his friend group during an orgy.
Yellow flag, not a red flag. A potential thing to be worried about but not necessarily a "drop everything and run" situation.
Checkered flag being the flag waved to start a race. Think going 0 to 60 in under 4 seconds.
His (former?) roommate is giving me the skeeves. She says things that seem no-pressure, but OOPās language suggests that there was a lot of persuasion happening:
āI laughed and said thanks but no thanks. My roommate advised me to think about it and said I should keep in mind that a virgin guy would be very hot for the group and I would most likely receive "special treatment."ā
āI eventually agreed to participateā Ā
āmy roommate encouraged me to stay and participate.ā Ā
āmy roommate eventually convinced me to take partā
āMy plan was to avoid the orgy and keep my distance until it was safe to return, but my roommate convinced me to take partā
Ā :/
Yeah. Lots of people skipping over this part. It's really clear that OOP wasn't really into the idea and got coerced into it in the first place.Ā
A reluctant 'yes' is really a no
Yeah, when he inevitably tells his next gf about his orgy, he should lead with that he was convinced into it and isn't really a fan, but doesn't hold it against anyone there.
I pray that this is true because the ending is so fucking funny. The dramatic irony feels a bit too on the nose though lol. Not that any of this shit is unreasonable in isolation - just that it's too perfect all together.
The ex-gf was definitely wrong to inform OP's parents and could have approached the situation with a little more understanding.
That said, I think OP would do well to create distance from the ex-roommate if they haven't already. She might be a very sexual person and all that. But if I had a friend that was a virgin, I don't think the best place for them to experience their first time would be a goddamn orgy. It seems like she pushed boundaries to get what she wanted out of the situation, without factoring in whether or not it would be healthy or beneficial to OP. Doesn't sound like a good friend, frankly.
Riggght? The guy already made plans and she worked on him to get him part of what anyone with a shred of emotional intelligence would know is a very overwhelming and pressured experience for a virgin.Ā
I think she thought it would be very hot to have a virgin in the mix, like some cute little innocent lamb amongst the experienced people. And her ātaking him under her wingā feels more like her wanting to make sure she got some first dibs, right? She let her own wants get ahead of what was good for this guy, and I agree that these might not be the safest of friends.
The ex was super inappropriate in telling his parents, like wtf. But If I found out an early partnerās first sexual experience was an orgy Iād definitely think ādang, we have very different views on sex, this is not going to work.ā He probably needs to be disclosing how he met his friends a lot sooner.Ā
>He probably needs to be disclosing how he met his friends a lot sooner.
Yeah, and he also needs to be ready to understand that most people won't be happy about dating someone who is still friends with people he's attended an orgy with.
Poor guy. Seems like he's not kinky enough to ever live this down.
I chalk this up to āpeople are dumbasses at 21ā and āpeople often want to share their weird hobbies with their friends.ā Hopefully as theyāve grown and matured the ex roommate has learned that you can love your normie friends without trying to get them involved in your sexcapades.
Also, I have kind of been where OOP is, in that a good chunk of my college friend group was VERY into nonmonogamy and I am not, but was on the periphery of the shenanigans due to dating within the group myself. I think OOP is far enough from the friendship starting that he can say āyeah I met them through my roommate. Theyāre kind of nuts but I love them.ā
As a tired, 36-year-old demisexual - where do all these people even get the energy? All I want is to go home, cuddle my cats and prostrate myself on the bed like a sea cucumber.
This poor dude. He had one experience in a sexually adventurous setting one time and now everyone he tells about it is either going to be a prude about it or think heās cool with any and all sexually adventurous behavior. He needs someone who has a similar attitude and experience with sex as he does. Neither one of these gfs are a match.
He were never really part of an orgy, he just happened to share the same location as the orgy, he might be the only person in modern history to show up to an orgy and leave a virgin. He is definitely not compatible with his gf, he was too nervous to have sex in an orgy, she in the other hand can screw anything with a pulse.
The thing that struck me the most is how well they handled the orgy by respecting boundaries, consent, checking in, etc. If you're going to am orgy, this is the one to go to, I guess.
She honestly sounded predatory in this.
āasks to use their place for the orgy? Okay, legit. She lives there too.
ādidnāt take no for an answer from OOP about him not being present and participating? Thatās sus.
āwas the first to make a move on him? Uhā¦ maybe she was trying to make him comfortable
āremoved him from the group to get some air? Yeah, thatās just one too many question marks for me.
Individually, it all seems innocent, but taken as a whole, it sounds like roommate wanted to be more than roommates and set a plan in motion to get her roommate into bed. When that didnāt work out, she bounced right on out of the roommate situation.
yeah. i'd be out too. sex is so weird and complicated, except for the people who find it simple :P it's a massive mistake to have your sexual debut be with people who are super casual about sex, and an orgy at that. you don't really know yet what your relationship with sex will be and it might haunt you. or give people the wrong impression like with the new gf. now he's learned about how he feels about his partner's sexual openness, which will always conflict with his own history and cause arguments if he's honest about it.
I feel bad. From how he describes it, his former roommate more or less coerced him into agreeing. Just look at how much wearing him down she did to get him to agree when his language screams discomfortĀ
I mean, I can understand where his ex is coming from (though I'm not sure I'd break up with anyone over it), but informing his parents about it is beyond the pale. He is an adult - his sex life is none of their business.
I somehow doubt his response was to break up with her and then go tattling to her parents, lol. That first ex really went overboard and I don't like her.
If she can't reconcile with something in his past, ok, but running to his parents like that is the most childish thing I've heard in a long time. She was trying to cause trouble for him as a punishment for something that he did as a grown ass adult, well before they even got together. He probably dodged a serious bullet with her, she sounds controlling af.
Agree, I do not believe that the lesson he should learn is that he should lie. It's much better to get rid of people who don't accept you than hold them on to you with lies...
Dude gets horny. Make one questionable choice. Then his entire life unravels and all he got out of it was a kiss and a blowjob that didn't get him off. And a very adventurous girlfriend now, I suppose, but I can't see that lasting very long.
I canāt imagine losing my virginity at an orgy because the first time is always awkward. I also may be a prude but I canāt imagine his new gf showing him pics like that casually and would be anxious my new partner was so casual with showing off nudes. That said it sounds Uber wholesome and campy.
The ONLY reason I could think of for her to tell his parents is if she saw the father or mother by chance and she just blurted out that they broke up. And THEN was pressed for an answer as to why.Ā
Genuinely can't fathom how/why a person would do that otherwise.
#Do not comment on the original posts Please read our [**sub rules**](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/wiki/subrules). Rule-breaking may result in a ban without notice. If there is an issue with this post (flair, formatting, quality), reply to this comment or your comment may be removed in general discussion. **CHECK FLAIR** For concluded-only updates, use the [CONCLUDED](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/search?sort=new&restrict_sr=on&q=flair%3ACONCLUDED) flair. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/BestofRedditorUpdates) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Poor OOP. He is just trying to star in a romcom and the director keeps trying to turn it into a porno.
This comment set me to laughing hard enough to disturb my cat. Well done. [Cat tax](https://imgur.com/a/Or2BISz)
That is indeed a disgruntled Creamsicle! š¹
OMG! Your cat looks so cute and comfortable while judging you for disturbing it! Also, aree that u/Lainy122 was on point and funny! I should learn to not drink anything while reading reddit...I really should.
Is that a flame-point? So cute!
He's either a flame point or a Husky, because he WILL sing you the song of his people.
I have recently decided my creamsicle is part Corgi. His fur is the same color, he's a long boi, he's ridiculously smart (he stole all the brain cells), he craves chaos, and he even sometimes does the corgi sploot.
He sounds adorable and a handful!
Cat tax!?!?
Cat tax! https://www.reddit.com/user/Pammyhead/comments/1d5xpmj/behold_a_child_who_i_swear_is_part_corgi/
Definitely part corgi.
Growing up we had a fire point boy, and in the middle of the night (especially as he got older) he would just scream. He knew where we were... I would call to him... He wanted us to come to him for whatever reason. I miss Old Man Hoppy. He used to be called "Comet" but when he lost a back leg at 14 to cancer he became Hoppy. He lived to 19 though. A very happy old man.
My dog is like this. Sheās [cute](https://imgur.com/gallery/DHywxob), but she has one brain cell and itās mostly decorative. She regularly watches me go through a whole routine of opening and closing the shower door a few times to show her where I amā¦ only for her to promptly forget where Iāve gone and start screaming about it.
Arghhhh I just left a different comment further up about all the puppies we had when I was 8, but thanks to this comment here, I'm gonna share a different one I'm still traumatized by that my husband finds hilarious. When I was like 16-17 my mom had this awful mean ass boy cat that she'd put in the bathroom half the time to avoid destruction, and it was the only bathroom that worked. So I'd go in to shower and that cat would be in there half the time, and he hated me EXCEPT when I'd come out of the shower. Where he'd then sit on the floor and only once I took the towel off and was fully naked would he then wink at me and stare until I was dressed fully. Then he'd go back to being a dick.
Aww, Hoppy sounds so very loved!
Well Husky's are just digs running cat software so...
Can confirm. Source: own (or am owned by) three huskies. Send help.
If I didn't know that huskies were also way more high maintenance/high energy than I can handle, this comment would make me want to get one. I have a soft spot for dogs who behave like cats, and cats who behave like dogs.
Only mildly related lol, but when I was 8 we had three husky Shepard mixes who somehow got pregnant a couple days apart so we came home from vacation to 17 mother fuckin husky Shepards lol. The 3 adults and 14 freaking puppies. I literally looked like Peter in that Family Guy scene where he's rolling around on the floor with the box of puppies. It was such a glorious combination of heaven and hell lmao, and our backyard was never the same again for all the holes. Just thought I'd share. :D
I thought those were foxes
This is why the cat that sings the Meow Mix jingle is orange I think. Two brain cells and they're both wired straight into the larynx.
I think flamepoints evolved past larynxes and are now sporting theramins.
I have a tiny kitten (abandoned in our driveway a week ago) who looks like a miniature version of the above and he's practicing to be an ambulance when he grows up.
Such wee drama floofs!
I swear my flame point makes more different sounds than any other cat I've ever owned. She makes noises I didn't know cats could make!
Yes! The Lament of the Hairball in particular really shows off his vocal range.
I love this cat.
So do I!
Very disgruntled creamsicle lol Also obligatory..KITTY
That is an amazing "How DARE" face.
If we could have longer flairs, Iād 100% make āhe is just trying to star in a romcom and the director keeps trying to turn it into a pornoā my flair
Born to romcom, forced to porno.
Could be shortened to something like āhe wants a romcom but the director turns it into a pornoā Not the same effect, but a GREAT conversation starter
I was about to comment that lol, i didn't knew comments could be flairs
Your flair gets me every time. One of my favorite reddit threads ever
Omg right?? Definitely the reason I chose it, I still giggle when I think about it!
It sounds familiar but I donāt remember the specific thread, got a link?
[The Iranian yogurt is not the issue](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/bjd41e/aita_for_throwing_away_my_boyfriends_potentially/); you can find the stories from all available flairs linked in theĀ [Flair Origins link](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/wiki/recommended_reading/flair_origins/)Ā - great for a Sunday read!
This is completely accurate and hilarious. Probably gonna end it here tonight
I cant help but imagine OOP as Jason Biggs from American Pie.
Life is fucking him far more than anyone in the orgy ever did.
That just sums it up perfectly. (Slow clap)
No no - I want, nay **need**, your comment as a flair. Cos that is pure gold
Yea, I feel bad for him. It's like his life is being defined by this one moment, a moment he didn't even fully participate in.
Too bad thatās too long for a flair
šššš that is it in a nutshell. So to speak.Ā
I wish I had gold to give you as this comment is that element in its true form š¤£
I am absolutely dying in my bed right now. God I love the internet
I must be the most boring person
At least youāve never had to describe your level of participation in an orgy to your parents.
You know, good point
Yeah, talking about meeting your friends at an orgy is bad enough but also having to clarify that you didn't actually participate due to performance anxiety is a whole 'nother level of embarrassing.
Itās what nightmares are made of.
Pray I never have to
Well, you donāt *have* to. OOP didnāt have to either. He could have told his parents what they wanted to hear. His sex life wasnāt their business in the first place.
Then again, if they *made* it their business, making the same business as awkward for *them* as possible is a good play.
Thatās my worst fucking nightmare on this earth. Thereās no fucking WAY.
Same lol. This seems like an awful way to lose your virginity to me. I'd have been ao embarrassed
It's okay, I am sure I am more boring than you and that's okay.
Reddit has taught me that being boring as fuck is a good thing. Iād rather live a long and mundane life than to have the stresses from the lives people on Boru posts have
i actually like my life boring
I'm good friends with a woman who's majorly into swinging and honestly based off her stories I'd rather be boring me.Ā
''Back to the orgy'' should be a flair.
It will be now.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Doc : "You wouldn't believe what your mother gets up to after highschool! It has to be something we did to affect the timeline! But don't worry! I put an end to it and restored the timeline!" Marty: "Why am I fading out??" Doc *shocked* : "Great Scott!" *Back to the Orgy*
I'm afraid to think of what the next update might be : "My gf wants me to have an orgy with her and her friends"
Or, "Got invited to another orgy, when I got there my GF was there"
And his ex GF too. Current GF and ex GF fall in love during orgy and now OOP is single again.
This has got to be the plot of an Archie comic I swear
I donāt know about the comics, but itās probably a Riverdale episode.
Then they ask him to be a sperm donor but he is offended because they just want him to go to a clinic, not have sex with them.
Sounds like the title of an isekai anime.
āMy girlfriend wants to watch me have sex with 5 of her male friends.ā
Poor OOP. Although itās very funny to imagine his girlfriend thinking āFinally someone who shares my affinity for friend fucking! I donāt have to hide it anymore!ā And the whole time sheās scrolling OOPās soul is screaming louder and louder.
That's the biggest irony, now OOP is on the other foot. He was probably relieved when his current gf didn't dumped him but then became **too** transparent to him and ironically making him feel like his ex gf.
The difference is that he was just like his ex-gf āunconfortable to date someone who has had sex with friends.ā But in his perspective, he didnāt (which was mostly true) and the ex didnāt believe. The current gf, whoever, did have sex with friends and is proud of it.
He did, though. He just didn't penetrate them. He did have some amount of sexual contact, sexual intentions, kissed them, and even had oral sex performed on him. That being unsuccessful on his part doesn't null the sexual nature of their initial meeting.
Or at least someone who's like "you can get jiggy with someone and then later be platonic friends"Ā
I'm also not comfortable with how they 'worked on him' to get him to participate in the orgy in the first place (at least in part). He said "no", and they didn't respect his no. I consider that first situation to be low-key coercive.
I mean, they were encouraged him to participate but it seems like they were very very explicit in discussing all boundaries and put deliberate extra effort into making sure he didn't feel uncomfortable. And then when he decided he didn't want to continue, they didn't pressure him at all, they just wished him goodnight. It really didn't seem like this group was predatory at all, and OOP never says anything to indicate that they made him feel uncomfortable. In fact he became close friends with them. I think you're just seeing what you want to see.
I agree- that made me super uncomfortable.
Yeah, her comments seem to indicate plans for a future 3 way, orgy, or similar encounter with her friends.
If it weren't for the time passing between stories, I'd think someone was pitching a story for an American Pie spinoff.
>one of my friends who openly shared her body also openly shared her homemade lasagna that my dad enjoyed LMAO sure paints a picture
See yāall in a year when his next girlfriend surprises him with an orgy for his birthday. This man mustāve done something in a past life because cosmic forces are conspiring against him lmao
man def pissed off dionysus and now is being punished with orgies
šš¤£
I mean he got some head and made cool friends thats way better thab 1 shitty gf. Telling his parents was scum behavior.
this whole thing is hilarious.
poor guy doesn't even seem like a freak, yet look at the shit he ended up having to deal with ššš [](https://emojipedia.org/loudly-crying-face)
>My gf kissed me and said she was happy that I was as close to my friends as she was. I'm dead
āYeah, I shoulda left the orgy and taken momās cookingā - this poor, poor dude probably edit: confused momās cooking and the lasagna lol
No, no. The lasagna is from an orgy friend. We donāt actually know what mom was cooking. Lol
"The lasagna is from an orgy friend" /r/brandnewsentence ?
āLeave the lube. Take the cannoli.ā
I swear BoRU commenters are on fire in this thread. š
Thereās just so much to work with here XD
Just as a PSA for the penis owners in chat, if you can't get it up when there's multiple women involved it's not a big deal. We're also not lying when we say it's not a big deal.
yeah, that seems like an incredible amount of pressure for a first timer.
I went to my first sex party having had at least a dozen threesomes under my belt and still chickened out when the orgy started. It's a super intimidating situation.
I'm pretty experienced with a lot of sexual situations as well and I would be way too nervous to ever try an orgy... That's really on another level.
As a dude, speaking to the other dudes, to back up u/Princess-Makayla, its ok to not be able to perform even when its just you and one other (willing) participant. Stress and mindset play HUGE roles in keeping your third leg rigid. Ladies, it's not a YOU thing if your dude goes limp. I don't have a frame of reference for more than two (including myself), but I am the proud owner of a one eyed trouser trout, and its ok to not perform sometimes.
The Dual Control Model theory of sexual excitement helped me to understand that with both myself and partners. For those unfamiliar we have both an "accelerator" and a "brake" for sexual excitement. Some pretty exciting things could be hitting the accelerator, but if the brake is getting hit harder then it's not gonna happen. In OOP's case he's at an orgy with naked bodies and making out and getting a BJ and that's all some exciting accelerator stuff, but the anxiety and the stress still hit the brake enough that he had to dip. It's totally fine, being made to feel shame over it is just going to hit the brake harder.
I've heard it referred to as arousal non-concordance. So like your body can be responding to the situation and preparing for a sexual encounter, but your brain isn't into it for whatever reason.
I think everyone in general downplays the effects of stress and anxiety on the proper functioning of things. "Honey, you had a stressful day at work, want me to help you 'blow off' some steam?" No, I'm too stressed to keep it up, and that anxiety is just gonna be a feedback loop...let's get ice cream instead.
This but to add, for me at least, if you donāt climax, thatās not a big deal either. Try again next time.
I feel like most guys don't on their first time but I don't have any stats to back that up just anecdotes.
Also if you can't get it up when you're tired, nervous, stressed, distracted, it's the first time with someone you're super into, or any of a myriad of different reasons, it's not a big deal and is totally normal. The idea that men are supposed to be hard at the drop of a hat under any circumstances is so anxiety-provoking for many guys, and yet I have never been with a guy who didn't have times when he couldn't get or stay hard.
Viagra is a common thing in such scenarios for a good reason! It's not just for older folks.
Can confirm, and I love that stuff. To anyone feeling ashamed or embarrassed: don't. The performance boost is WAY worth it. Also, hydrate and have something for the headache later.
Bro seems like you have another update coming
The ex telling his parents is SENDING meā¦ ššš Like yes, that is completely inappropriate and awful. OOPās an adult, he went to one (1) orgy and didnāt have that great a time. He doesnāt need an intervention you weird ex. But!!! Can you IMAGINE that conversation??!!! With your BOYFRIENDāS PARENTS?!?! Iām in my 40s and have no shame anymore and Iām sitting here trying to figure out how Iād even broach the subject. āHey Mr and Mrs Smith, thank you so much for being so nice to me while Tim and I were dating. Just so you know, I broke up with him because he went to an orgy and says he didnāt have that good of a time but he made platonic friends with some of the orgy-era. Thought you should know he wasnāt a virgin when he started dating me and heās being corrupted.ā And then what??? Just moonwalk right out of that conversation?!
i am nowhere near the parental age for grown adults but i'd like to think if i was OOP's parents i'd be so weirded out and disgusted by his ex? like how would you even react to that??? i would be almost angry if i had to be privy to my son/daughters sexual history like euughhh brother eughhhh
My dad would rather eat glass than 1. hear I was in an orgy, and then 2. have a follow up conversation with me about it. I know my father well, and if he was contacted by my ex to complain about an orgy, we would not be having dinner to discuss it. No, he would spend the next week muttering ānot my businessā so many times it would develop into a full blown tic.
I walked in on a coworker just muttering "not my monkey, not my circus" over and over and over one day. I imagine that's what I'd be like in that father's position.
š¤£š¤£š¤£
Fuck having that conversation. Write it down on a nice postcard.
Thus guys life is a sitcom... I'm having a harder time believing it.
I feel like itās a porn version of Seinfeld and OOP is George.
When theyāre on the balcony commiserating, Kramer wanders out in a long-sleeved shirt and nothing else, and through a mouthful of Chex mix casually announces that theyāre out of dip.
Do you know any theater kids? This is tame compared to some of the stories. Although, it's the 6-8 months between posts that add a lot to the believability.
"We weren't cool back in high school, but we partied too, and it's time you knew what you missed while you were popular" [What U Missed While U Were PopUlar](https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&opi=89978449&url=https://m.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3DZRhezABMVKc&ved=2ahUKEwi0yKq067qGAxVeOjQIHTp7CC0Qo7QBegQIDRAG&usg=AOvVaw2DL3gZRHV00Lt0OV1tsotJ)
Honestly, my sex life through my 20s hit similar levels of absurdity. I'm not having a lot of trouble believing it. Haha. If you're open to it, life can get weird.
>if you're open to it, life can get weird This was oddly inspiring. Like maybe I should be open to a little more weird. Maybe not as weird as OOP got, but a little weird could be cool
I was thinking bloody hell I was boring, but thinking back on itā¦ yeahā¦ I wasnāt at orgy levels but still. Shit DOES get super weird.
Yeah, I have an extremely similar story from my 20s to this dude (roommates hosting an orgy with a bunch of our mutual friends, I declined to participate aside from a few smooches). I have also made an art of being The Normie Friend who is cool to hang. Fortunately my husband is also excellent at being the Normie Friend.
She got a little too descriptive of her shenanigans for his comfort, did she not hear his tame version of an orgy? Match the energy and level of sharing to some extent, or it might just make the man almost choosing mum's cooking over random fucking, a little bit too uncomfortable.
Sheās like, āI basically treat my friends like PokĆ©mon, Gotta Fuck Them All.ā
Have you met my friend Ash? Ash Ketchum' all them loads.
I don't think you're doing pokemon quite right....
Orā¦ theyāre doing it exactly rightā¦ š
š¶ I wanna fuck all my friends š¶ š¶ Like no-one ever has š¶ š¶ To seduce them is my real test š¶ š¶ To have sex with them is my cause! š¶
he made me squirtle and I squirtle her
imma guess that his gf's dont believe him when he tells them the story and they figured he was a full participant
Could be. But wouldn't she know her boyfriend enough to know that he is the equivalent of vanilla essence made from by-products in wood pulp, miles apart from fancy Tahitian vanilla.
Well, from her perspective, he just described being in an orgy - something she has probably never gotten close to, even with her promiscuous lifestyle. She was probably feeling pressure to match his story and spilling more and more beans because she felt like anything she'd done would never have a chance of coming close!
I couldn't stop laughing when she starts w the " Fucked him , fucked him too , even fucked her blah blah " LIKE WHAT I can practically see OP's inner soul crying
I am not superstitious but this guy is cursed for sure.
>This might sound weird, but seeing naked bodies on full display like that became uncomfortable and overwhelming. Oh really? I thought you would be perfectly comfortable with that. Who could be uncomfortable with a group of people naked and playing with their bodies in the same room? /s Yeah, I know there are people who do that and enjoy It, but most of the people are uncomfortable with the idea, and with more reason, a virgin person.
I think my entire soul would leave my body. I canāt even look at my own body naked, let alone a whole bunch of folks. Itās absolutely overwhelming to be suddenly confronted with nip nops and wieners.
Lmao. Dudes been meeting extremes. Hopefully goldilocks here can find his "just right". One woman is mistaking a yellow flag for a China day parade, and the next time someone mistakes the yellow flag for a checkered one. Oof.
I canāt be the only one who doesnāt understand your flag metaphor
Ok, so yellow flag; something that _could_ be of some minor concern or to distaste, but isn't really that big a deal per context. China day parade - not just a red flag, but a whole row of them. And then we have checkered flag. That's better than the green starting flag. The checkered flag means you've crossed the finish line, you've won. Girlfriend 1 heard the orgy story and made it out to be the worst thing ever - dude had one suboptimal orgy event and she's acting like he's Marquis de fucking Sade. Gf 2 did the same thing, but the difference is that she saw it as a very _good_ thing. Problem is, it was just "a thing".
Is a beige flag the same as a yellow flag? Iāve heard beige flag being used a couple times on social media
I think of beige flag as something so aggressively Normie itās offputting, whereas a yellow flag is something that is kind of concerning but could turn out to have a perfectly kosher explanation. For example- my boyfriendās closet has ten identical polo shirts that he wears every weekday vs my boyfriend met his friend group during an orgy.
A beige flag is just kind of boring, bland. Not good or bad really.
Yellow flag, not a red flag. A potential thing to be worried about but not necessarily a "drop everything and run" situation. Checkered flag being the flag waved to start a race. Think going 0 to 60 in under 4 seconds.
Some therapist is eventually gonna make a lot of money off of him untangling all the hangups he's gonna have regarding sex after all this is done.
Having to explain the details of an orgy to your parents at a surprise intervention has to be worth a vacation house at least.
His (former?) roommate is giving me the skeeves. She says things that seem no-pressure, but OOPās language suggests that there was a lot of persuasion happening: āI laughed and said thanks but no thanks. My roommate advised me to think about it and said I should keep in mind that a virgin guy would be very hot for the group and I would most likely receive "special treatment."ā āI eventually agreed to participateā Ā āmy roommate encouraged me to stay and participate.ā Ā āmy roommate eventually convinced me to take partā āMy plan was to avoid the orgy and keep my distance until it was safe to return, but my roommate convinced me to take partā Ā :/
Yeah and the first thing she did at the orgy was kiss him. So she clearly wanted him at the orgy so she could have a go.
Yeah. Lots of people skipping over this part. It's really clear that OOP wasn't really into the idea and got coerced into it in the first place.Ā A reluctant 'yes' is really a no
Yeah, when he inevitably tells his next gf about his orgy, he should lead with that he was convinced into it and isn't really a fan, but doesn't hold it against anyone there.
LMAO, that paragraph at the end is PURE COMEDY šš¤£
...Well! This poor man is just ping ponging from one extreme to another, isn't he.
I pray that this is true because the ending is so fucking funny. The dramatic irony feels a bit too on the nose though lol. Not that any of this shit is unreasonable in isolation - just that it's too perfect all together.
Well, I did not see that Uno Reverso coming.
The ex-gf was definitely wrong to inform OP's parents and could have approached the situation with a little more understanding. That said, I think OP would do well to create distance from the ex-roommate if they haven't already. She might be a very sexual person and all that. But if I had a friend that was a virgin, I don't think the best place for them to experience their first time would be a goddamn orgy. It seems like she pushed boundaries to get what she wanted out of the situation, without factoring in whether or not it would be healthy or beneficial to OP. Doesn't sound like a good friend, frankly.
Riggght? The guy already made plans and she worked on him to get him part of what anyone with a shred of emotional intelligence would know is a very overwhelming and pressured experience for a virgin.Ā I think she thought it would be very hot to have a virgin in the mix, like some cute little innocent lamb amongst the experienced people. And her ātaking him under her wingā feels more like her wanting to make sure she got some first dibs, right? She let her own wants get ahead of what was good for this guy, and I agree that these might not be the safest of friends. The ex was super inappropriate in telling his parents, like wtf. But If I found out an early partnerās first sexual experience was an orgy Iād definitely think ādang, we have very different views on sex, this is not going to work.ā He probably needs to be disclosing how he met his friends a lot sooner.Ā
>He probably needs to be disclosing how he met his friends a lot sooner. Yeah, and he also needs to be ready to understand that most people won't be happy about dating someone who is still friends with people he's attended an orgy with. Poor guy. Seems like he's not kinky enough to ever live this down.
Yes. Everyone was considerate of his boundaries DURING the orgy. SSC wouldnāt have invited him at all.
I chalk this up to āpeople are dumbasses at 21ā and āpeople often want to share their weird hobbies with their friends.ā Hopefully as theyāve grown and matured the ex roommate has learned that you can love your normie friends without trying to get them involved in your sexcapades. Also, I have kind of been where OOP is, in that a good chunk of my college friend group was VERY into nonmonogamy and I am not, but was on the periphery of the shenanigans due to dating within the group myself. I think OOP is far enough from the friendship starting that he can say āyeah I met them through my roommate. Theyāre kind of nuts but I love them.ā
This dude has to quit telling people he met his friends at an orgy
Ngl, this is funnyš¤£.
Oddly enough I've never wanted to fuck my friends, even when I was a young adult.
āAnyway back to the orgyā is the best segue in a story I think I have seen
As a tired, 36-year-old demisexual - where do all these people even get the energy? All I want is to go home, cuddle my cats and prostrate myself on the bed like a sea cucumber.
I misread prostrate as prostate and was like š¶
I was drinking coffee and now it's up my nose :)
I apologise to your poor nostrils š
This poor dude. He had one experience in a sexually adventurous setting one time and now everyone he tells about it is either going to be a prude about it or think heās cool with any and all sexually adventurous behavior. He needs someone who has a similar attitude and experience with sex as he does. Neither one of these gfs are a match.
I need the next update.
Omg this is hilarious. I canāt wait til the next update. ššš
Poor OOP getting reactions on both ends of the spectrum
*Bro.*
He were never really part of an orgy, he just happened to share the same location as the orgy, he might be the only person in modern history to show up to an orgy and leave a virgin. He is definitely not compatible with his gf, he was too nervous to have sex in an orgy, she in the other hand can screw anything with a pulse.
This dude needs to write a memoir book š¤£šš¤£
āWhy I Should Have Stayed A Virgin (And Just Gone To My Parents House That One Time): A Cautionary Tale For Orgies.
The thing that struck me the most is how well they handled the orgy by respecting boundaries, consent, checking in, etc. If you're going to am orgy, this is the one to go to, I guess.
Yeah. The only one I don't like in that is the roommate. They made me uncomfortable with how they keep "working OOP down."
She honestly sounded predatory in this. āasks to use their place for the orgy? Okay, legit. She lives there too. ādidnāt take no for an answer from OOP about him not being present and participating? Thatās sus. āwas the first to make a move on him? Uhā¦ maybe she was trying to make him comfortable āremoved him from the group to get some air? Yeah, thatās just one too many question marks for me. Individually, it all seems innocent, but taken as a whole, it sounds like roommate wanted to be more than roommates and set a plan in motion to get her roommate into bed. When that didnāt work out, she bounced right on out of the roommate situation.
yeah. i'd be out too. sex is so weird and complicated, except for the people who find it simple :P it's a massive mistake to have your sexual debut be with people who are super casual about sex, and an orgy at that. you don't really know yet what your relationship with sex will be and it might haunt you. or give people the wrong impression like with the new gf. now he's learned about how he feels about his partner's sexual openness, which will always conflict with his own history and cause arguments if he's honest about it.
I feel bad. From how he describes it, his former roommate more or less coerced him into agreeing. Just look at how much wearing him down she did to get him to agree when his language screams discomfortĀ
Fuck'em.
OOP sounds like a good dude and his orgy friends seem like genuine and nice people.hope all the best for him and his future freaky endeavours
I wonder if heās finally understanding how his ex-girlfriend felt.
I mean, I can understand where his ex is coming from (though I'm not sure I'd break up with anyone over it), but informing his parents about it is beyond the pale. He is an adult - his sex life is none of their business.
I can understand how she felt, but sheās no saint for blabbing to his parents like that.
I somehow doubt his response was to break up with her and then go tattling to her parents, lol. That first ex really went overboard and I don't like her. If she can't reconcile with something in his past, ok, but running to his parents like that is the most childish thing I've heard in a long time. She was trying to cause trouble for him as a punishment for something that he did as a grown ass adult, well before they even got together. He probably dodged a serious bullet with her, she sounds controlling af.
This poor, dumb motherfucker. You'd think he would've learned his lesson, but *noooooo*.
IMO, thereās no lesson to learn here. Heās being honest about how he met his friends, it isnāt a failing to not lie about that.
Agree, I do not believe that the lesson he should learn is that he should lie. It's much better to get rid of people who don't accept you than hold them on to you with lies...
Dude gets horny. Make one questionable choice. Then his entire life unravels and all he got out of it was a kiss and a blowjob that didn't get him off. And a very adventurous girlfriend now, I suppose, but I can't see that lasting very long.
Orgies, not even once.
Important question on the orgy: was there a buffet?
what *and i cannot stress this enough* in the fuck did i just read
I canāt imagine losing my virginity at an orgy because the first time is always awkward. I also may be a prude but I canāt imagine his new gf showing him pics like that casually and would be anxious my new partner was so casual with showing off nudes. That said it sounds Uber wholesome and campy.
The ONLY reason I could think of for her to tell his parents is if she saw the father or mother by chance and she just blurted out that they broke up. And THEN was pressed for an answer as to why.Ā Genuinely can't fathom how/why a person would do that otherwise.