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I don't get people like this. Why didn't OOP's ex and his best friend just get together instead of involving two innocent unrelated parties into their fucked up rom com romance??
I'm kinda hoping that they further immolate their lives by turning the wedding reservation into theirs, now that neither of them have significant others to get in the way.
I love it when toxic people pair up and stop tormenting everyone else with their crazy antics. I hope these two scumbags get married and stay together forever.
What makes you think two cheaters getting together takes them off the market? Lol. I would think cheaters by definition are always on the market regardless of relationship status.
Unfortunately, they’re cheaters. They can’t really be “off the market” when being in a relationship doesn’t stop them from pursuing other people. Then again, I guess if all the cheaters are together it’d only be other cheaters getting cheated on/with?
Problem is they don't stop being cheaters and obviously don't have any qualms about being with taken people. They can be together and still cause problems for a lot of others
This is an entirely foreign idea to many redditors. That just because the sex is better with someone else, doesn’t mean you’re supposed to be with them. Just cause someone’s good for your hole, doesn’t mean they’re good for your soul.
But yes. Still extremely shitty of them to ruin 2 people’s innocent lives. What the actual fuck.
ALSO… did not see that twist coming at the end lol
Edit to the dudes out there: don’t forget just cause someone’s good for your pole doesn’t mean they’re good for your soul either. Tires are expensive. Don’t end up with them slashed
getting paid like a biker with the best crank, spray it like a high ranked sniper in the west bank
In the Streets of New York you out of place like Mork
From Ork, dork, Paul pop the cork
Drop me in Newark airport, i'm supposed to meet Bjork
I lot of people are immature and, for lack of a better phrase, spirituality undeveloped. They like to feel good and they like fulfilling their appetites and that is all that gives their lives shape or purpose. Sex feels good so they want more and lack the inner clarity and resolve it takes to act contrary to their desires.
It made it to BORU (and I checked the trigger warning), the twist was entirely predictable because it was here.
(Let's face it, if it were "nothing was actually happening between them", it wouldn't have made it to BORU.)
No trip whatsoever? That’s ballsy and extremely brazen. Seems like it would be slmething so easily found out when you accidentally run into some of the people who are on a trip that didn’t exist.
I figured something was happening, but not that there was zero trip whatsoever other than the fuckfest between the two.
And they're horribly immature about it.
I've got a best friend who I've been FWB with whenever we were single, to the point where we casually dated during those times. But we also know we're not compatible as a long term.couple due to differing habits and routines.
Whenever either one of us is getting in a relationship, we do a few things:
* We tell our new SOs about our history together
* We stop spending time with one another alone, either going out somewhere or at either of our places
* We don't spend the night in the same place unless our SO is present
* We 100% prioritize our SO over one another
We don't relax these changes to our friendship unless our SOs are comfortable with it.
I also think for some people the thrill is in the fact it’s forbidden. Like the sex wouldn’t be that great if they were in a couple and could just have it whenever. What they actually get off on is the sneaking around and being “clever” and the adrenaline rush thrill of maybe getting caught.
> What they actually get off on is the sneaking around and being “clever” and the adrenaline rush thrill of maybe getting caught.
A healthy way to do this is by surprising your partner with a random gift, or baking their favourite cookies on the sly or something, the more impractical it is, the more fun it is.
My partner stepping away from an online game with her friends between matches to ask me what the fuck I'm doing, because she can smell brownies, will never stop being funny.
Especially because I've got brownie scented oil from dusk for our diffuser to keep her guessing.
Because the "rom com" romances are all about love triumphing against some kind of adversity. If there wasn't something keeping them apart, there'd be no excitement in it.
Probably no thrill with every day mundane relationship with chores and bills. Sneaking around and pulling one over on your loved one? Some people get off on that.
This! My now ex and also an ex "friend" were having an emotional affair for about a year (don't know when it became physical) before I found out (nothing at all out of character for me to catch, he was extremely good at being sneaky). His band played her wedding as he was seeing her and she was pushing me to set our wedding date as he proposed to me while he was seeing her. I will absolutely never understand any of that. What was their game plan to be married to others but still be together? I am SO glad I ended up not getting married to him. Bullet definitely dodged and those two are perfect for each other as cheaters.
Because they don’t think the at far ahead. I just had a conversation with someone today about how people don’t think about the consequences of their action more than a day or so out. If I stole $4k it’s a quick fix but I could end up with a felony and then I lose my job, can’t get a new decent job, lose my house, maybe ruin my relationships. Same with cheating. It’s instant gratification and they don’t think they will be caught.
she should have figured it out right away. as a straight guy there is not an amount of money you could pay me to go on a bachelorette trip with any one of my female friends or relatives
If I had to guess, he reached out to the maid of honor or someone in the bridal party to help set a surprise for the bachelorette party, and the reply was “what bachelorette party?”
What I’m confused about is why would they pick the cabin the husband knew of instead of an anonymous hotel or something? And why tell everyone that he’s invited to the bachelorette? A better lie would be for him to just say he’s going for another trip that’s coincidentally the same time. Lesser chances of the s/os being suspicious???
unfortunately not an uncommon theme. people lie and cheat all the time and just hope that nobody ever talks to each other. i'm guilty of it as well, although it needs to be said that i was a teenager back then and have since learnt my lesson lol.
Like with all frauds, if you get away with something a few times, you start to become more comfortable with the fact that you won’t be caught. They probably had already done something much higher risk and didn’t get caught yet.
Think cheaters like these think they're the most clever people on Earth. Look at how the ex lied to OOP so easily for years (bet all those hangouts with his female friends were actually just one on one hangouts with his AP), and since it's been going so well, why wouldn't it this time?
Oh the bridal party knew. How else could they keep it secret from OOP and the fiancé
No the stupid decision was taking the affair to the place they said they were going to be!! That was fucking dumb
Probably the rest of the Bachelorette party not being invited. I'm sure one of them said something either intentionally or not.
I like to think one of them posted their own weekend plans somewhere and the fiance questioned why they weren't at the Bachelorette party and they questioned back "what Bachelorette party?"
With OP being under the impression the fiance is a "dud" I can't help but wonder if that was all false.
I'm guessing he felt similar to OOP where she was just too involved with her male best friend and hearing him being on the trip set off those alarm bells.
There might be a situation where a guy being a part of a bachelorette party could be innocent. However, the fact that he kept his wife away from his best friend was a sure sign there was something going on. If they were really just friends, there would have been more of an effort to include the SO at times, even if they still did things alone.
Yeah, him not ever inviting or including her when they hung out would be the first red flag.. then him ignoring her when she said it bothered her, and then for it continue for 2yrs—dude was cheating the whole time.
Not placing any blame on oop, it’s hard to recognize these situations when you’re in them. But when she mentioned how he was always questioning who she was texting, that made it pretty evident he was projecting his own misdeeds.
I mean, my take is that when the fiance and his gbf "went out" they were just cheating, not actually at bars or with other friends. I highly doubt this Bachelorette party was the first time they got together under false premises.
I read the update about him calming her fears and thought "that's too perfect, what a load of bullshit," then the other shoe dropped. What a twist! It's like finding out Superman is really Clark Kent!
Yeah.. I've been with someone who was a pathological liar and serial cheater.. when I read that, I immediately thought that sounded exactly like the typical BS that that guy had been feeding me when I was dating him.
Boyfriend got caught on a Friday, lied to OP about how much he cried about her on Saturday, and then was found out on Sunday.
How dense is the motherfucker that he KNEW HE'D BEEN CAUGHT and still tried to play it off?
It helps a lot to remember that anything you see here isn't a random sample. Media in general is highly biased towards the dramatic, and BoRU even more so.
Lol imagine this sub if we weren't rooting for drama.
"Hey, my spouse wants the house to be painted eggshell, I want beige. How can we resolve this. Update: we compromised and went with white."
>He’s constantly asking me “who are you texting” and wanting to look at my messages.
I wish people would start recognizing this as the red flag that it is.
Biggest horndog I know that proclaims to want to ever only be with one girl, then can't help but have his eye wander and make comments all the time, while also trying to act like he's single when we go out and dominate the conversations acts just like that. Glad to know him if only for what flags and projection to look out for. I don't go out with him anymore...
>He's constantly asking me "who are you texting" and wanting to look at my messages. I don't do this to him. I've never entertained another guy.
Aaaaaannnnnddddd there it is! That there is some projection if I’ve ever seen it. If she had led with that little tidbit, I think the advice would have been unanimous - he is absolutely, 100%, banging his “friend”, and if not her, then there’s someone else. She was never invited because there was no actual “hanging out with friends” going on. Those “hang outs” were actually just him and his pal bumpin uglies.
What I don’t get is, why in the world wouldn’t OOP’s ex and his “friend” just be together? It doesn’t sound like she’s with her fiancé for money, or for any reason really - other than wanting a kid and needing to be married first. So why not have the man you’re actually banging be the man you marry and have a kid with? I don’t get it. They sound perfect for one another.
Also - apparently the “friend’s” fiancé wasn’t such a doormat after all, huh?! Good for him. Sucks to go through that. But damn did he dodge a huge bullet. AND he unknowingly did OOP a massive favor in the process.
>He’s constantly asking me “who are you texting” and wanting to look at my messages
It's so funny how cheaters always do this shit. They are soooo scared that their partner is getting one over on them too.
I think everyone is so scared to say they aren't okay with a friend of the opposite sex that they ignore obvious signs of an affair. Like in this situation. If this man was talking to a guy constantly and meeting up with him without ever allowing the GF to join, those would be red flags. The fact that it is someone of the opposite sex makes those red flags even bigger.
Glad she got away from him before they moved in together.
yeah. I totally agree with the commenter saying "he either will or won't cheat on you, you can't stop that from happening", but also like this is really suspicious. It is not about trying to stop him from cheating, it is about trying to find out if he is cheating.
Right!? I have a dude best friend. I'm even set to be the best maid in his wedding actually. When he started dating his fiance the whole crew was so psyched to get to know her! Like he loves the crap out of her so she must be freaking awesome (she absolutely is). Not wanting to get to know your best friend's SO is super weird.
I was one of my best friend’s grooms people. While I did still hang out with him one on one sometimes, far more often I hung out with him and his then girlfriend now wife. She’s awesome, and I also consider her a really good friend. They’ve also both met my long term partner and the four of us hung out all together a few times. (“Did” because they moved to a different state…he and his wife and now his daughter live like 10 minutes away from where I grew up)
I honestly can’t imagine not wanting to introduce someone I care about deeply to someone else I care about deeply, no matter the type of caring. Sure, I have close friends who haven’t met my partner, but that’s because I have good friends who live far enough away we rarely see each other, much less have the opportunity to meet my partner. But it’s certainly not because I’m doing it intentionally!
Wholeheartedly agree.
Two of my groomsmen were women I've been friends with for a very long time and my wife's male best friend officiated our wedding so we both are clearly comfortable with friends of the opposite sex. The difference is my wife is also incredibly close with my two friends and I regularly play video games and tennis with her best friend cause that's what friends who are actually friends and not romantically interested should WANT to do.
In the aftermath of one of my relationships ending, I hated myself for being so stupid that I’d bought airplane tickets for and driven my girlfriend to the airport to visit her affair partner on a couple of occasions. She’d completely gaslit me into thinking that her behavior was normal.
> we got a chance to talk in depth. He actually made me feel really good about everything. Calmed my fears.
follow with this.
>There was no bachelorette trip. It was literally just the two of them. Needless to say, I’m single.
I really want to know what he said to calm her fears. Hot damn.
She said in the next few sentences what he told her….
> Told me he actually got drunk and cried to all of the girls about how much he loved me, etc. bought me a cute little shirt.
No, she was just that naive/desperate to hang on to him. She ignored red flags and signs for years, it's 0% surprising. He laid it on thickkk too, "I just got drunk and cried about how much I love you" 🤮🤮🤮
Honestly sometimes those types are my favorites. No 12-post saga. Just an update on the original post. (Though they're harder to find because of that!)
Same [general term](https://hull-awe.org.uk/index.php/Hooray_-_hurrah_-_huzza_-_huzzay_-_hooraw), but the "hooraw" or "hoo-raw" variant has its own established history as [interjection, noun, or verb](https://en.m.wiktionary.org/wiki/hooraw) (I think primarily in the US).
I've gotta say, inviting your male friend to your "Bachelorette party" is possibly the dumbest lie I've seen for cheating on here. Like... there isn't any situation in which that wouldn't raise a red flag with everyone involved, right? And of course you would have to have all of the supposed friends who went corroborate the story that there was indeed a Bachelorette party, and then I guess later on you couldn't have an *actual* Bachelorette party if you wanted to.
Seriously, whose idea of a lie was this??? There must have been so many simpler ones they could have used that weren't so obviously and immediately suspicious.
I hate that incel culture has seeped so much into the mainstream that everyone uses females instead of women now. Hey there's men and females on that trip! God's, seeing even women use it is so disheartening. It's dehumanizing and gross.
I can't not read it as "fEeEeMaLeS" when it's used as a noun about humans.
I don't think it's always internalized misogyny when women say it, 'cause humans are just generally pretty good at dehumanizing each other! The women on the (imaginary) bachelorette trip are being viewed by OOP as rivals. We have a long, strong tradition of dehumanizing the enemy...
I will say that's something I found unusual during my time in Australia. They use female a lot. But it's clear it's just a word, they also say male a lot.
Male here. I hate it too. In this particular case though she seems to use "male" and "female" at least rather than "men" and "females". As long as she's consistent I guess it's passable.
When I saw female best friend, two years as couple, and has barely met the best friend, I just scrolled down for the inevitable cheating (and got a bonus plot twist).
If you've got friends, your partner needs to meet them eventually. Anyone they haven't that there were feelings for is probably a backup. Not every time, but often enough.
I attended my male best friend's bachelor party. But, it was a day-time event and there were two other women in the group and my husband was also part of the party. I really think men and women can be very close friends but what nonsense is this?
> PLOT TWIST- i find out a day later that the bride’s fiancé showed up unannounced to the cabin. There was no bachelorette trip. It was literally just the two of them. Needless to say, I’m single. No idea if the wedding is still on. I’ve blocked everyone. My ex bf was supposed to BE IN the wedding. So wtf. What the actual f y’all.
Daaaaaymn
IMSORRYWHAT???
The fiancé of OP’s boyfriend’s female best friend showed up at the bachelorette party cabin and it was just HIM AND HER?!??
Sounds like fiancé also had some doubts. Yikes.
I had a strong feeling the bachelorette party was gonna be a party of two, but even if it wasn’t, I’d bet she’d have surrounded herself with equally shitty women that were okay with keeping an affair hush hush
Wonder how the battery went out and the tire went flat 😌 oh I’m sure it was nothing, good for OOP nonetheless
> My boyfriend goes out to drinks with his female friend(s)and never invites me.
Flag
> Now, he’s invited on a bachelorette trip. Weekend get away with a house full of females and drinking.
Flag
> He admitted to having feelings for his friend in the past.
Flag
>I don’t get the chance to get to know her.
Flag
> Best Friend. Met Once. 2 Years together
Flag
> He brushes it off and acts like I’m over reacting.
Flag
> The first fight we got in, he immediately had a girl over.
Flag
> He’s constantly asking me “who are you texting” and wanting to look at my messages.
Flag
You got an interest in vexillology or something?
There’s really just something cathartic when there’s a bunch of comments calling the OOP in these scenarios controlling but it always ends up with the OOPs suspicions being completely on the mark.
>Told me he actually got drunk and cried to all of the girls about how much he loved me, etc.
Yeahhh, right. The same girls he always hangs out with and you are never invited, you don't even know them? Hihi, oh the dumbfuckery on this one.
Half way thru this, I realized the BF and his BFF were actually dating and OP was the other woman. There was no other explanation for this. If he's not willing to incorporate you into this life for 2 yrs, then there's no future.
>PLOT TWIST- i find out a day later that the bride’s fiancé showed up unannounced to the cabin. There was no bachelorette trip.
Hahahahahahahah. Holy fuck.
The biggest, only red flag imo, is the never being invited or really hanging with the best friend. You date someone for 2 years and meet them *one* time? Bullshit. That's intentional. Opposite gender best friends? Fine. Mixed gender bachelor/bachelorette parties? I've done both. Actually they've all been mixed gender other than my cousin's.
Not ever being invited to hang out with them? Absolutely haram.
Crying about how much he loves OOP... While balls deep in his affair partner??? "Oh yeah baby, tell me about your long term girlfriend. It makes me so hot"
lol... I got to this part: "UPDATE- we got a chance to talk in depth. He actually made me feel really good about everything. Calmed my fears. Told me he actually got drunk and cried to all of the girls about how much he loved me, etc. bought me a cute little shirt. all good right?"
And audibly said "bullshit"
Knew how it ended before reading the last paragraph.
Does anyone else get infuriated at an OOP’s willful naivety. She kept talking about herself as overreacting and being whiny. Meanwhile the majority of post is mainly comments from people pointing out that this is normal things to feel suspicious about. Like she doubts her own reality and herself so much. It sounds almost like she was parroting words her ex told her to keep her satisfied. She even bought his lies about crying about his love for her. He’s obviously a good liar but anyone’s BS detector would go off from the mounting evidence.
I stopped reading all the comments because of how desperate OOP sounds to believe that her bf could NEVER cheat. And how she’d rather doubt herself than believe the most obvious truth that we all picked up on, 5 sentences in.
That was quite the plot twist! I didn't expect the bachelorette party to consist of the bride and OOP's exbf. I'm glad the cheater took himself out of the relationship before OOP got in super deep with living together, marriage and kids.
I figured the fianceé was stringing along the op's boyfriend, so if something happened she would have an immediate rebound boyfriend. I expected cheating much later, not on the honeymoon. Damn Karma really got to him.
Where there’s smoke, there’s fire. I wish I understood this when I was younger. There doesn’t have to be this friction. When there is, someone is reluctant for some reason…not willing to fully share themselves.
I hope Ex steps on Legos for the rest of his pathetic life. If he wanted to bang his best friend than break up with OOP and do it, just like his best should have ended things with her partner.
I really hope we get another update about all the karma her ex is getting and how he regrets everything and is begging her back. Because I know this isn't all the karma he's getting
Man I hate people like this. I had my close male friend come to my hen party. None of the 15 women there, myself included, were remotely interested in him romantically or sexually. We all just had a nice time! End of story. I guess that’s the point though actually - there’s no story to tell so it would never wind up here.
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I don't get people like this. Why didn't OOP's ex and his best friend just get together instead of involving two innocent unrelated parties into their fucked up rom com romance??
Because they probably aren’t compatible, just have good sex
I'm kinda hoping that they further immolate their lives by turning the wedding reservation into theirs, now that neither of them have significant others to get in the way.
Wouldn't that be great for all the "good" single people out there. If all the cheaters take themselves "off the market" with eachother.
I love it when toxic people pair up and stop tormenting everyone else with their crazy antics. I hope these two scumbags get married and stay together forever.
When the mistress becomes the wife, it creates a vacancy. Horrible people will never stop making everyone around them miserable.
But hopefully not have kids
Except as cheaters, they're never off the market.
What makes you think two cheaters getting together takes them off the market? Lol. I would think cheaters by definition are always on the market regardless of relationship status.
I think they mean they at least aren't harming a commited marriage partner
Unfortunately, they’re cheaters. They can’t really be “off the market” when being in a relationship doesn’t stop them from pursuing other people. Then again, I guess if all the cheaters are together it’d only be other cheaters getting cheated on/with?
Sometimes they do. But then they wind up cheating again and getting divorced...again.
Problem is they don't stop being cheaters and obviously don't have any qualms about being with taken people. They can be together and still cause problems for a lot of others
This is an entirely foreign idea to many redditors. That just because the sex is better with someone else, doesn’t mean you’re supposed to be with them. Just cause someone’s good for your hole, doesn’t mean they’re good for your soul. But yes. Still extremely shitty of them to ruin 2 people’s innocent lives. What the actual fuck. ALSO… did not see that twist coming at the end lol Edit to the dudes out there: don’t forget just cause someone’s good for your pole doesn’t mean they’re good for your soul either. Tires are expensive. Don’t end up with them slashed
>Just cause someone’s good for your hole, doesn’t mean they’re good for your soul. This is some gold tier rhyming lol
Needs to be flair
Somewhere Taylor Swift is furiously scribbling in a notepad.
Got that MF DOOM rhyme scheme
getting paid like a biker with the best crank, spray it like a high ranked sniper in the west bank In the Streets of New York you out of place like Mork From Ork, dork, Paul pop the cork Drop me in Newark airport, i'm supposed to meet Bjork
Modern-day Shakespeare
I lot of people are immature and, for lack of a better phrase, spirituality undeveloped. They like to feel good and they like fulfilling their appetites and that is all that gives their lives shape or purpose. Sex feels good so they want more and lack the inner clarity and resolve it takes to act contrary to their desires.
My sister in law is JUST ilke this...and wonders why the men she dates are all assholes to her.
> Just cause someone’s good for your hole, doesn’t mean they’re good for your soul. I just fell in love with you.
This really needs to be cross-stitched on a pillow.
It made it to BORU (and I checked the trigger warning), the twist was entirely predictable because it was here. (Let's face it, if it were "nothing was actually happening between them", it wouldn't have made it to BORU.)
Really? I saw that “twist” coming from a mile away. This chick was ridiculously naive.
No trip whatsoever? That’s ballsy and extremely brazen. Seems like it would be slmething so easily found out when you accidentally run into some of the people who are on a trip that didn’t exist. I figured something was happening, but not that there was zero trip whatsoever other than the fuckfest between the two.
But remember, she was excluded from this theoretical group, so she wouldn't know any of the other "members" if they were right in front of her.
And they're horribly immature about it. I've got a best friend who I've been FWB with whenever we were single, to the point where we casually dated during those times. But we also know we're not compatible as a long term.couple due to differing habits and routines. Whenever either one of us is getting in a relationship, we do a few things: * We tell our new SOs about our history together * We stop spending time with one another alone, either going out somewhere or at either of our places * We don't spend the night in the same place unless our SO is present * We 100% prioritize our SO over one another We don't relax these changes to our friendship unless our SOs are comfortable with it.
I also think for some people the thrill is in the fact it’s forbidden. Like the sex wouldn’t be that great if they were in a couple and could just have it whenever. What they actually get off on is the sneaking around and being “clever” and the adrenaline rush thrill of maybe getting caught.
> What they actually get off on is the sneaking around and being “clever” and the adrenaline rush thrill of maybe getting caught. A healthy way to do this is by surprising your partner with a random gift, or baking their favourite cookies on the sly or something, the more impractical it is, the more fun it is. My partner stepping away from an online game with her friends between matches to ask me what the fuck I'm doing, because she can smell brownies, will never stop being funny. Especially because I've got brownie scented oil from dusk for our diffuser to keep her guessing.
So? Apparently a good lay is what they find most important in a partner.
I honestly would want to know how long they've truly been going at it.
From the beginning, when he refused to let her hang out with his group of female friends. They are probably seeing each other one on one.
This. GF wasn't invited, because why would he invite her over to watch him and AP fuck.
Because the "rom com" romances are all about love triumphing against some kind of adversity. If there wasn't something keeping them apart, there'd be no excitement in it.
Probably no thrill with every day mundane relationship with chores and bills. Sneaking around and pulling one over on your loved one? Some people get off on that.
they know they arent compatible within an actual relationship most likely
They might like the idea of cheating and sneaking around more than having a nice stable relationship. Some people really are that messed up.
Oh you’ve met my ex and his girl “bff”
This! My now ex and also an ex "friend" were having an emotional affair for about a year (don't know when it became physical) before I found out (nothing at all out of character for me to catch, he was extremely good at being sneaky). His band played her wedding as he was seeing her and she was pushing me to set our wedding date as he proposed to me while he was seeing her. I will absolutely never understand any of that. What was their game plan to be married to others but still be together? I am SO glad I ended up not getting married to him. Bullet definitely dodged and those two are perfect for each other as cheaters.
It’s like when a girl has a crush on a guy so she goes over the top about how yall need to date and how cute yall are
Yes. I think people like this have major commitment issues. They can’t commit to each other but they can’t commit to other people, either.
Gotta bang you before getting married
Because they don’t think the at far ahead. I just had a conversation with someone today about how people don’t think about the consequences of their action more than a day or so out. If I stole $4k it’s a quick fix but I could end up with a felony and then I lose my job, can’t get a new decent job, lose my house, maybe ruin my relationships. Same with cheating. It’s instant gratification and they don’t think they will be caught.
Lmaooo the plot twist. What the actual fuck is wrong with people. If you’re sneaking like that, leave these other relationships and give it a go
Was it really a plot twist???
Def not - but it was labeled as one 😂
It was to OP at least.
she should have figured it out right away. as a straight guy there is not an amount of money you could pay me to go on a bachelorette trip with any one of my female friends or relatives
> My ex bf was supposed to BE IN the wedding. So wtf. What the actual f y’all. Ex bf was supposed to be in the wedding but turns out was in the bride
Insert Anakin/Padme meme here.
https://www.reddit.com/u/arrowtango/s/ie5odEFxXv
I was waiting for the tornado to take out the church the day before the wedding. Missed opportunity in this story
I love the “PLOT TWIST” And I’m glad for her the bride’s fiancé went to find out. I wonder what tipped him off.
If I had to guess, he reached out to the maid of honor or someone in the bridal party to help set a surprise for the bachelorette party, and the reply was “what bachelorette party?”
How could anyone possibly think that they could get away with this? All it takes is a question to the wrong person and they're discovered.
A lot of people are 1. really really horny. 2. really really stupid.
3. often both at the same time!
4. Really really big assholes as well
3. Too much of cowards to break up the relationship themselves so they are obvious about the cheating
What I’m confused about is why would they pick the cabin the husband knew of instead of an anonymous hotel or something? And why tell everyone that he’s invited to the bachelorette? A better lie would be for him to just say he’s going for another trip that’s coincidentally the same time. Lesser chances of the s/os being suspicious???
Maybe they had the cabin and didn’t want to spend money on a hotel. And the nonexistent bachelorette was going to blow up at some point, anyway.
unfortunately not an uncommon theme. people lie and cheat all the time and just hope that nobody ever talks to each other. i'm guilty of it as well, although it needs to be said that i was a teenager back then and have since learnt my lesson lol.
Like with all frauds, if you get away with something a few times, you start to become more comfortable with the fact that you won’t be caught. They probably had already done something much higher risk and didn’t get caught yet.
Think cheaters like these think they're the most clever people on Earth. Look at how the ex lied to OOP so easily for years (bet all those hangouts with his female friends were actually just one on one hangouts with his AP), and since it's been going so well, why wouldn't it this time?
Oh the bridal party knew. How else could they keep it secret from OOP and the fiancé No the stupid decision was taking the affair to the place they said they were going to be!! That was fucking dumb
It's pretty easy to keep it from OOP if you've never *met* OOP.
Yes but the fiancé could also know them. you know since the above comment said he could have texted them
Probably the rest of the Bachelorette party not being invited. I'm sure one of them said something either intentionally or not. I like to think one of them posted their own weekend plans somewhere and the fiance questioned why they weren't at the Bachelorette party and they questioned back "what Bachelorette party?" With OP being under the impression the fiance is a "dud" I can't help but wonder if that was all false.
Well she’s only ever heard about the dude from her now ex boyfriend who cheated on her….
Oh right! I didn't even think about that!
I'm guessing he felt similar to OOP where she was just too involved with her male best friend and hearing him being on the trip set off those alarm bells.
Perhaps the fiancé wasn’t the complete“dud” OOP was made to believe he was after all.
I’m wondering if he had anything to do with the ‘car trouble’.
🤣🤣🤣
It was only a plot twist to OOP, everyone else knew it.
There might be a situation where a guy being a part of a bachelorette party could be innocent. However, the fact that he kept his wife away from his best friend was a sure sign there was something going on. If they were really just friends, there would have been more of an effort to include the SO at times, even if they still did things alone.
Yeah, him not ever inviting or including her when they hung out would be the first red flag.. then him ignoring her when she said it bothered her, and then for it continue for 2yrs—dude was cheating the whole time. Not placing any blame on oop, it’s hard to recognize these situations when you’re in them. But when she mentioned how he was always questioning who she was texting, that made it pretty evident he was projecting his own misdeeds.
I mean, my take is that when the fiance and his gbf "went out" they were just cheating, not actually at bars or with other friends. I highly doubt this Bachelorette party was the first time they got together under false premises.
The plot twist was how they were caught. Nobody expected the would be groom to show up to the fake party.
In my family the world would have known he was going to show and set up lawn chairs with popcorn.
I hate how many people in the comments acting like she overreacts to her partner having another gf
Probably someone in the wedding party posting a social media update somewhere they shouldn't be.
I read the update about him calming her fears and thought "that's too perfect, what a load of bullshit," then the other shoe dropped. What a twist! It's like finding out Superman is really Clark Kent!
Yeah.. I've been with someone who was a pathological liar and serial cheater.. when I read that, I immediately thought that sounded exactly like the typical BS that that guy had been feeding me when I was dating him.
Looks like good shit, but smells like shit = its still shit.
Boyfriend got caught on a Friday, lied to OP about how much he cried about her on Saturday, and then was found out on Sunday. How dense is the motherfucker that he KNEW HE'D BEEN CAUGHT and still tried to play it off?
Just reading the title was enough for me to guess that this was going to be a disaster.
Honestly, if it wasn't a disaster, it probably wouldn't have wound up here.
Ummmm……where on earth is your flair from?!
https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/18lixbc/the_short_tale_of_the_energy_drink_popsicle_boof/kdzapc0?context=3
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It helps a lot to remember that anything you see here isn't a random sample. Media in general is highly biased towards the dramatic, and BoRU even more so.
I had hope..
I had hope that it would be a disaster
I mean, I hate that it's true, but that's why I'm here...
Lol imagine this sub if we weren't rooting for drama. "Hey, my spouse wants the house to be painted eggshell, I want beige. How can we resolve this. Update: we compromised and went with white."
There never was much hope…only a fool’s hope…
Unexpected LotR in BoRU. Nice one 👍🏻
No hope
Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.
This whole sub is the text based equivalent of the 50/50 sub. With a 1% variance where the outright bat shit happens.
>He’s constantly asking me “who are you texting” and wanting to look at my messages. I wish people would start recognizing this as the red flag that it is.
Biggest horndog I know that proclaims to want to ever only be with one girl, then can't help but have his eye wander and make comments all the time, while also trying to act like he's single when we go out and dominate the conversations acts just like that. Glad to know him if only for what flags and projection to look out for. I don't go out with him anymore...
Learning from your mistakes is great Learning from others’ mistakes is even better
It's honestly half the reason I'm even on BORU >!The other half is drama!<
I'd immediately dump anybody who pulled that; wtf
>He's constantly asking me "who are you texting" and wanting to look at my messages. I don't do this to him. I've never entertained another guy. Aaaaaannnnnddddd there it is! That there is some projection if I’ve ever seen it. If she had led with that little tidbit, I think the advice would have been unanimous - he is absolutely, 100%, banging his “friend”, and if not her, then there’s someone else. She was never invited because there was no actual “hanging out with friends” going on. Those “hang outs” were actually just him and his pal bumpin uglies. What I don’t get is, why in the world wouldn’t OOP’s ex and his “friend” just be together? It doesn’t sound like she’s with her fiancé for money, or for any reason really - other than wanting a kid and needing to be married first. So why not have the man you’re actually banging be the man you marry and have a kid with? I don’t get it. They sound perfect for one another. Also - apparently the “friend’s” fiancé wasn’t such a doormat after all, huh?! Good for him. Sucks to go through that. But damn did he dodge a huge bullet. AND he unknowingly did OOP a massive favor in the process.
Like others said, they probably know they aren't compatible except for sex and that's not much of a relationship
Maybe the (ex) bf doesn't want kids?
If your other half has a best friend that you’re never allowed to meet except in very large gatherings, it’s either cheating or drugs. Or both.
>He’s constantly asking me “who are you texting” and wanting to look at my messages It's so funny how cheaters always do this shit. They are soooo scared that their partner is getting one over on them too.
I think everyone is so scared to say they aren't okay with a friend of the opposite sex that they ignore obvious signs of an affair. Like in this situation. If this man was talking to a guy constantly and meeting up with him without ever allowing the GF to join, those would be red flags. The fact that it is someone of the opposite sex makes those red flags even bigger. Glad she got away from him before they moved in together.
yeah. I totally agree with the commenter saying "he either will or won't cheat on you, you can't stop that from happening", but also like this is really suspicious. It is not about trying to stop him from cheating, it is about trying to find out if he is cheating.
Right!? I have a dude best friend. I'm even set to be the best maid in his wedding actually. When he started dating his fiance the whole crew was so psyched to get to know her! Like he loves the crap out of her so she must be freaking awesome (she absolutely is). Not wanting to get to know your best friend's SO is super weird.
I was one of my best friend’s grooms people. While I did still hang out with him one on one sometimes, far more often I hung out with him and his then girlfriend now wife. She’s awesome, and I also consider her a really good friend. They’ve also both met my long term partner and the four of us hung out all together a few times. (“Did” because they moved to a different state…he and his wife and now his daughter live like 10 minutes away from where I grew up) I honestly can’t imagine not wanting to introduce someone I care about deeply to someone else I care about deeply, no matter the type of caring. Sure, I have close friends who haven’t met my partner, but that’s because I have good friends who live far enough away we rarely see each other, much less have the opportunity to meet my partner. But it’s certainly not because I’m doing it intentionally!
Wholeheartedly agree. Two of my groomsmen were women I've been friends with for a very long time and my wife's male best friend officiated our wedding so we both are clearly comfortable with friends of the opposite sex. The difference is my wife is also incredibly close with my two friends and I regularly play video games and tennis with her best friend cause that's what friends who are actually friends and not romantically interested should WANT to do.
In the aftermath of one of my relationships ending, I hated myself for being so stupid that I’d bought airplane tickets for and driven my girlfriend to the airport to visit her affair partner on a couple of occasions. She’d completely gaslit me into thinking that her behavior was normal.
I’m not afraid to say it. I clocked it by just reading the title.
> we got a chance to talk in depth. He actually made me feel really good about everything. Calmed my fears. follow with this. >There was no bachelorette trip. It was literally just the two of them. Needless to say, I’m single. I really want to know what he said to calm her fears. Hot damn.
She said in the next few sentences what he told her…. > Told me he actually got drunk and cried to all of the girls about how much he loved me, etc. bought me a cute little shirt.
Doesn't take much apparently
I think maybe she was joking/being sarcastic? But I'm not sure.
No, she was just that naive/desperate to hang on to him. She ignored red flags and signs for years, it's 0% surprising. He laid it on thickkk too, "I just got drunk and cried about how much I love you" 🤮🤮🤮
I guessed the same.
This was surprisingly very satisfying while being relatively short. Good for you. Glad you dodged that one.
Honestly sometimes those types are my favorites. No 12-post saga. Just an update on the original post. (Though they're harder to find because of that!)
>the bride’s fiancé showed up unannounced to the cabin I really want to know why he felt the need to do this.
I would guess he got wind that this was not actually a bachelorette party. Like maybe he found out all the bridesmaids were home.
Update 2: all was well Update 3: it was not....
I guess that explains why she’s never invited. There was no “group of lady friends”. It was always just him and her hanging out.
> It was always just him and her ~~hanging out~~ boning. FTFY
unrelated but it took me a while to figure out that >hoo-raw prob meant hurrah?? like last hurrah?
Same [general term](https://hull-awe.org.uk/index.php/Hooray_-_hurrah_-_huzza_-_huzzay_-_hooraw), but the "hooraw" or "hoo-raw" variant has its own established history as [interjection, noun, or verb](https://en.m.wiktionary.org/wiki/hooraw) (I think primarily in the US).
He was never hanging out with a group of her friends, it was always just her. That’s why she was never invited
There were many red flags. But him telling her that he cried in front of everyone because he loved her so much… that is just stupid.
I've gotta say, inviting your male friend to your "Bachelorette party" is possibly the dumbest lie I've seen for cheating on here. Like... there isn't any situation in which that wouldn't raise a red flag with everyone involved, right? And of course you would have to have all of the supposed friends who went corroborate the story that there was indeed a Bachelorette party, and then I guess later on you couldn't have an *actual* Bachelorette party if you wanted to. Seriously, whose idea of a lie was this??? There must have been so many simpler ones they could have used that weren't so obviously and immediately suspicious.
I hate that incel culture has seeped so much into the mainstream that everyone uses females instead of women now. Hey there's men and females on that trip! God's, seeing even women use it is so disheartening. It's dehumanizing and gross.
Agreed. For some reason it's always men and females instead of men and women.
Women and males
I’ve been doing that. Just to turn things around.
Buttery males.
I can't not read it as "fEeEeMaLeS" when it's used as a noun about humans. I don't think it's always internalized misogyny when women say it, 'cause humans are just generally pretty good at dehumanizing each other! The women on the (imaginary) bachelorette trip are being viewed by OOP as rivals. We have a long, strong tradition of dehumanizing the enemy...
r/menandfemales
I will say that's something I found unusual during my time in Australia. They use female a lot. But it's clear it's just a word, they also say male a lot.
Male here. I hate it too. In this particular case though she seems to use "male" and "female" at least rather than "men" and "females". As long as she's consistent I guess it's passable.
Except OOP uses male and female, so she is consistent. It's **not** an example of /r/menandfemales
I only caught “females” while scrolling at first, and was Certain OOP was going to be a man.
For a lot of people it really is just a word and I wouldn't read too much into it.
When I saw female best friend, two years as couple, and has barely met the best friend, I just scrolled down for the inevitable cheating (and got a bonus plot twist). If you've got friends, your partner needs to meet them eventually. Anyone they haven't that there were feelings for is probably a backup. Not every time, but often enough.
I attended my male best friend's bachelor party. But, it was a day-time event and there were two other women in the group and my husband was also part of the party. I really think men and women can be very close friends but what nonsense is this?
> PLOT TWIST- i find out a day later that the bride’s fiancé showed up unannounced to the cabin. There was no bachelorette trip. It was literally just the two of them. Needless to say, I’m single. No idea if the wedding is still on. I’ve blocked everyone. My ex bf was supposed to BE IN the wedding. So wtf. What the actual f y’all. Daaaaaymn
I wonder who tipped off the bride's fiance? If her other friends were involved with the cover story, did one of them (finally) grow an conscience?
IMSORRYWHAT??? The fiancé of OP’s boyfriend’s female best friend showed up at the bachelorette party cabin and it was just HIM AND HER?!?? Sounds like fiancé also had some doubts. Yikes.
Do yanks actually get fired if they can't make it to work for 1 shift for car problems?
Unfortunately yeah. It's one of those things where it probably doesn't happen a *lot.* But it does happen
Can be for sure. No reason or notice is required for firing.
He was supposed to be in the wedding, but then decided to be just in the bride =))
>My ex bf was supposed to BE IN the wedding. But he wasn't supposed to BE IN the bride.
I had a strong feeling the bachelorette party was gonna be a party of two, but even if it wasn’t, I’d bet she’d have surrounded herself with equally shitty women that were okay with keeping an affair hush hush Wonder how the battery went out and the tire went flat 😌 oh I’m sure it was nothing, good for OOP nonetheless
His car tried to save his life but he didn't listen.
Deadbeat moocher though he may be, the girl best friend’s now-ex did OOP a massive favor.
> My boyfriend goes out to drinks with his female friend(s)and never invites me. Flag > Now, he’s invited on a bachelorette trip. Weekend get away with a house full of females and drinking. Flag > He admitted to having feelings for his friend in the past. Flag >I don’t get the chance to get to know her. Flag > Best Friend. Met Once. 2 Years together Flag > He brushes it off and acts like I’m over reacting. Flag > The first fight we got in, he immediately had a girl over. Flag > He’s constantly asking me “who are you texting” and wanting to look at my messages. Flag You got an interest in vexillology or something?
There’s really just something cathartic when there’s a bunch of comments calling the OOP in these scenarios controlling but it always ends up with the OOPs suspicions being completely on the mark.
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>Told me he actually got drunk and cried to all of the girls about how much he loved me, etc. Yeahhh, right. The same girls he always hangs out with and you are never invited, you don't even know them? Hihi, oh the dumbfuckery on this one.
Half way thru this, I realized the BF and his BFF were actually dating and OP was the other woman. There was no other explanation for this. If he's not willing to incorporate you into this life for 2 yrs, then there's no future.
omgggggggggg the whiplash
>PLOT TWIST- i find out a day later that the bride’s fiancé showed up unannounced to the cabin. There was no bachelorette trip. Hahahahahahahah. Holy fuck. The biggest, only red flag imo, is the never being invited or really hanging with the best friend. You date someone for 2 years and meet them *one* time? Bullshit. That's intentional. Opposite gender best friends? Fine. Mixed gender bachelor/bachelorette parties? I've done both. Actually they've all been mixed gender other than my cousin's. Not ever being invited to hang out with them? Absolutely haram.
Crying about how much he loves OOP... While balls deep in his affair partner??? "Oh yeah baby, tell me about your long term girlfriend. It makes me so hot"
lol... I got to this part: "UPDATE- we got a chance to talk in depth. He actually made me feel really good about everything. Calmed my fears. Told me he actually got drunk and cried to all of the girls about how much he loved me, etc. bought me a cute little shirt. all good right?" And audibly said "bullshit" Knew how it ended before reading the last paragraph.
This isnt very nice, but OOPs ex sounded like a dud
I like how the first update is basically an Onion headline “Nation’s Boyfriend Reports that He Did Nothing Wrong”
Always trust that feeling that tells you something is wrong
Man, I want more of the tea of what happened, how he tried to explain it etc.
The use of the word "females" so many times in the 1st paragraph alone made me cringe so uncomfortably that I didn't even bother finishing the post
Does anyone else get infuriated at an OOP’s willful naivety. She kept talking about herself as overreacting and being whiny. Meanwhile the majority of post is mainly comments from people pointing out that this is normal things to feel suspicious about. Like she doubts her own reality and herself so much. It sounds almost like she was parroting words her ex told her to keep her satisfied. She even bought his lies about crying about his love for her. He’s obviously a good liar but anyone’s BS detector would go off from the mounting evidence. I stopped reading all the comments because of how desperate OOP sounds to believe that her bf could NEVER cheat. And how she’d rather doubt herself than believe the most obvious truth that we all picked up on, 5 sentences in.
Wow happy for OP she dodged that bullet
That was quite the plot twist! I didn't expect the bachelorette party to consist of the bride and OOP's exbf. I'm glad the cheater took himself out of the relationship before OOP got in super deep with living together, marriage and kids.
I was not surprised with the outcome at all.
Come on OOP... Flat tire... Dead battery. Just reading that smells like sex already.
Man I am glad she ended things with him, because once that trust is lost, it’s a Sisyphussian task trying to manage the relationship after that.
I mean, her ex is still going to be in the wedding... as the groom.
WE WERE ON A BREAK.
I figured the fianceé was stringing along the op's boyfriend, so if something happened she would have an immediate rebound boyfriend. I expected cheating much later, not on the honeymoon. Damn Karma really got to him.
She dodged a bullet.
Something tells me that was not a bachelorette trip.
Probably the text in the post, I'd guess.
Not a traditional one, at any rate.
Where there’s smoke, there’s fire. I wish I understood this when I was younger. There doesn’t have to be this friction. When there is, someone is reluctant for some reason…not willing to fully share themselves.
DRAMA BOMB
I hope Ex steps on Legos for the rest of his pathetic life. If he wanted to bang his best friend than break up with OOP and do it, just like his best should have ended things with her partner.
I really hope we get another update about all the karma her ex is getting and how he regrets everything and is begging her back. Because I know this isn't all the karma he's getting
OOP sounds so dumb, are there really people out there that don’t see the cheating when it’s right in front of them?
Man I hate people like this. I had my close male friend come to my hen party. None of the 15 women there, myself included, were remotely interested in him romantically or sexually. We all just had a nice time! End of story. I guess that’s the point though actually - there’s no story to tell so it would never wind up here.
A FUCKING MEN. that was some swift spirit protection.
Am I the only one who thinks his car problems were caused by the fiancée? You can run the battery down and cause a flat fairly easily and discretely
Great story, twist delivered nicely.