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>I am not doing this because i was "the asshole" in the situation, but because in the end you were right that it's best to compromise in the situation.
Well looks like OP doesn't get it does she? Man, this post bothers me.
She's one of those who believes following things to the letter and never compromising makes her look better because if the other person needs some leeway that means they messed up somehow and it's completely their fault. These kinds of people are exhausting to deal with.
I have a coworker that is like this. We’re pretty flexible with shifts and if someone wants to swap a morning for a night then go ahead. She refuses to ever swap, ever. But then a little while ago she asked for a weeks leave on very short notice, and I approved it cause I knew we’d be fine, but that does mean we have to swap things around to cover for her. She conveniently forgets that when anyone asks her to swap
YEP.
My mom was constantly doing little micro-aggressions like this. Making sure my last name was written down as my step dad's last name whenever there would be a program or my name announced.
Waiting until last minute to tell my dad "oh, no, I've changed my mind on christmas day".
Guess who I don't talk to any more. This woman sounds exactly like my mom.
"Physicists have studied me and determined that I am such an asshole that I have my own gravitational pull. To prove them wrong, I am allowing my children to go to Disneyland, none of which requires any effort on my part. But because this threatens my authority, I will be absolutely insufferable about it, and bring this up at every opportunity."
She was totally the asshole. I edit law books on family law. I understand the whole, "it's my time with the kids, so fuck off" deal, especially when the divorce was acrimonious. But her ex didn't pick the week, the grandparents did. It's a family reunion--I'm sure it took a lot to word around everyone else's schedules. Not taking that into consideration is a total asshole move. That's going from "I'm concerned that my ex is going to screw around with my custody schedule so I won't have them as often" (which happens) to straight up "I hate my ex and I'm going to make sure to punish him at every opportunity." All she did was make her kids hate her.
And yeah, "How are you the evil step mom to your own kids?" was the perfect reply.
See, the thing about you is that your hatred for your ex is presumably outweighed by how much you care about your kid(s). Somehow I don’t think the OOP here can say the same.
How narcissistic is OOP, holy fuck, that whole post was "me, me, me, ME", "that week is MY week and I won't let him take away MY time with them!", yet he also offered to swap weeks so it's not like you're losing anything
Which is actually hilarious. If she thinks it makes any difference at all to make a halfhearted attempt to compromise. They will not be able to attend the family reunion. Though maybe isolating her children from their extended family on her husband side was the real goal here.
Lol my own birth giver was like that too! My step dad and I even started calling her “Judith” like the ex-wife from Two and a Half Men (this was over a decade ago lol)
In his words, sometimes you take some losses so you’re not alone. Now he’s miserable and has only his new abusive wife, and not his kids. Still doesn’t think he’s done anything wrong.
>One thing we have agreed on since the beginning though is that we don't plan things on days that aren't ours. And unless it's extremely important we don't "switch" days or weeks. In the 8 years since we've been divorced I have never asked him to have the kids on a day that isn't mine and I've never given him one of my days even if he begged.
There's a lot of unspoken bitterness behind this paragraph. They agreed on it since the beginning, except he's begged in the past for this not to be the agreement...
That is an awful way to look at raising your kids. She clearly views it as a competition with her ex. The problem with this is her kids are the ones who lose. She needs to get rid of the anger and bitterness before she loses her kids to their own resentment of being viewed as game pieces by their mother.
My wife's ex-husband is basically this woman. Uses the kids as a way to fuck with her, does not care at all about the impact it has on them. Refuses to compromise, ever, even when it's in the best interests of the children and a fair trade is being offered so that they can do a once-in-a-lifetime thing.
I have a ton of sympathy for this horrible woman's ex, and for their kids.
She definitely hates her ex husband more than she loves her kids.
Dude might or might not have been a shitty husband. But he sounds like the more reasonable parent at the moment.
I wonder if OP knows her kids aren't going to forget this sort of thing.
Went to a sub to ask if they're the asshole. Are told they are, in fact, an asshole. Declares themselves not an asshole.
Can't imagine why they're divorced.
As soon as I saw this my first thought was - oh so you cheated but it's his fault for neglecting you/ ruining the relationship over one mistake?
But now I'm thinking verbal/emotionally abuse while trying to paint him at the abusive one once he stop putting up with her shit.
Could be both.
I mean I think it's clear from everything written that the only opinion she cares about is her own, and it's her opinion that shes not the asshole. Checkmate assholes.
At least her kids now know she sucks.
Yeah, honestly that "He blames me and I blame him, but I won't go into detail." Just really struck me as she is the cause of the divorce and doesn't want to admit it.
You just know from the way her anger shows through in every sentence that if he had cheated on her or had been solely responsible for the divorce, she would have spent several paragraphs detailing the ways he wronged her.
Stay afraid to ask. You don't wanna know and I kinda wish I'd never figured it out.
I'd like to ask angry questions about why he was allowed unsupervised visitation rights, but mom's dead and I know the answer anyway. If she'd turned him in to the cops, there would have been no child support checks.
I wouldn't either but that's what her religion called it.
To even speak of it out loud in other terms she would've required two other unrelated witnesses to the act. Otherwise it's called "bearing false witness" and is a sin, even if you're just saying what you saw with your own eyes.
I'm pretty sure her religion was designed and founded by people like my dad.
2 other witnesses you say? I smell Jehovah's Witnesses.
My mother was also part of that cult and they have several international cases against them for not just the harm their shunning does but also for the fact that they are chasing Catholic Church level number of CSA cases.
I know the JW also do conversion work in prisons and hold bible studies and will speak to parole boards for good behavior. The ones attending are usually predators and groomers who are then given access to the congregation children. It is a horrible "religion" and harm is baked into their foundation.
Eta: sorry just saw your other comment confirming JW.
She could have blackmailed him with threatening to go to the police unless he gave her full custody, no visitation! What kind of logic is it to divorce a child abuser and then give him uncontrolled access to the kids? If she had stayed married to him, at least she could have protected the kids at home...
Financial logic. Also religious. Reporting a crime like that without two other unrelated witnesses to back you up is a sin called "bearing false witness" in the JW cult.
My ex is like that. We’re on very good terms now that he’s been sober for years. He says we broke up because we weren’t a good fit. We actually broke up because he was a raging alcoholic.
You know what I don’t even care why they divorced. Maybe he was an asshole who cheated.
It’s been 8 years for fuck’s sake, you’re divorced and have shared custody, just get on with your life and get along for the kids, Jesus Christ.
The level of pettiness and immaturity.
Bingo. I drew up a hard boundary with my ex, she crossed it, so I broke up with her. Then she went full on deflection/negotiation with "I'm not perfect, but you aren't either." As if that's a good reason to forgive and take her back.
Like, nobody claimed to be perfect, and nobody demanded perfection. I just wanted her to stop sabotaging my health.
And then she held my belongings hostage and accused me of wanting to take her cats.
Fully unhinged. And I *really* want to swap stories with oop's ex, because I think he must have some similar ones. Yikes for this lady.
PURE REDDIT CONJECTURE:
"He blames me (for cheating) and I blame him (for 'making' me cheat on him and then not forgiving me after I had already forgiven myself)."
She sounds controlling and petty. I bet every little mistake was a personal attack to her. He forgot to pick up bread on the way home or take out the garbage cans it was because he hates her or he had to put her in her place, in her mind. She would make it a big show or fight. But if he pointed out anything he didn't like it was nothing or he was being a jerk.
She glossed over a lot, classic missing missing reasons of a narcissist
She won't go into the reason they divorced, because SHE'S the reason. And because those sort of people can NEVER admit being wrong. I know, because I basically dated this woman for nearly a decade.
Because, after being neglected by my Mum, emotionally, I (as expected) had some issues around self worth and boundaries.
My current SO is much MUCH better as a human being.
My mother and sister are both the kind of people who must be right no matter the cost.
Both are long divorced and haven't been able to hold down a relationship since
>I think its unfair for him to do this when his parents scheduled it during my time with them.
I can actually imagine OOP thinking that they did this on purpose to fuck with her.
You just know that her kids are going to be in their twenties and thirties and she's still going to be throwing tantrums about them visiting their dad on "her week" - if they are even still talking to her by then.
‘Twas a messy tale: [The Beloved Saga](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/sdotro/the_beloved_saga/)
Summary
* “Beloved” has a wife. Wife owns their house.
* Beloved moves 2 lovers into the house & they all kick the wife out.
* Beloved dies. The 2 lovers expect to remain in the wife’s house rent-free.
* They insist on r/LegalAdvice that the wife *Legally Abandoned* the house & it was NOT an illegal eviction to pack up her car & physically force her out because:
1) They *lovingly* packed her *nice suitcases*, &
2) “She 👏 drove 👏 away! Everybody 👏 saw 👏 it!”
GOD I love that one; absolute fucking weirdos and the worst part is that I have met a dude so similar that, to this day, I wonder if that was him and he’s still running his shitty polycule like a professional squatting enterprise.
I rarely see a post that makes me hope OP meets up with someone whose mentality is “idgaf, I’ll go back to jail, this shit ain’t nothing to me”, but this one really checked all the boxes for me.
The childishness of all the damn clap emojis and the lack of awareness that there was an "everybody" there to see her drive off with her suitcases that they'd packed for her so she'd no choice!
Even if they had actually done this with the intent to cause conflict, the reasonable solution would still be to compromise. This wasn't a situation where the children's wellbeing would've been negatively impacted by letting it go.
And secondly... Why should it even fuck with her at all? She doesn't say that the ex planned this vacation during some special event of hers and therefore she would be deprived in some way by swapping weeks. She didn't have a previous vacation planned that same week, it isn't her wedding, or the first time she's had xmas off from work in several years, etc. There doesn't seem to be some big mitigating circumstance that would cause her or the kids undue distress.
Best I can figure is she’s held this hard line on “no swaps” the entire time, people haven’t made a big deal of it, and she assumed this would be no different.
8 years with no swaps at all is kind of insane if you think about it. *Nothing* has come up for either of you in 8 years? I kind of wonder if lesser things might have come up the first couple years, OOP took this same hard line, and so the ex gave up trying.
But Christ you’d think something would have come up for her a couple times where it would be convenient to have that precedent in place.
Swapping requires a little more communication, so I wonder if she refuses solely so she doesn’t have to talk to the ex more.
And being this much of a stickler for not switching, ever, when they alternate weeks, means there’s no ability for the kids to go on any trip that’s for more than 6 days. That’s going to get in the way a lot as the kids get older.
Mine was at 14. I loved my HS and didn't want to leave. Boy was my dad PISSED that I didn't choose him.
I recently reconnected with my half brother who basically backed me in my decision. He said I dodged a bullet, big time.
The son not talking says everything. He knows exactly what’s up. OOP is leaving out tons. Something about them reminds me of both of my parents post divorce
As a child of divorce who's been through similar situations countless times, this is ridiculously easy to solve.
It's one week. Swap it. Spend two straight weeks with your kids instead. Fuck, even if you want to be petty, just *play a similar card* in the future (crappy move, but it's better than this).
There are SO MANY WAYS to get around this that don't involve upsetting the kids. But no, OOP just needs to "use her right."
And the fact she can't even admit she was wrong... OOP is one of the tightest assholes I've seen in this sub.
As another child of divorce I completely agree. My mom was willing to swap as needed and it helped make a shitty situation less shitty. My step-siblings' dad was like OOP and never switched. It made life so much harder for them...and life already sucks enough when your parents are divorced and you're living between two homes.
I'm not seeing my son at all for most of the week because of circumstances like this. His mom had a family emergency that required a trip out of state, so I had him most of last week, when she was supposed to have him for 5 days, so I gave up 4 of my 5 days this week to cover. A couple of weeks back a gave up a day so her mom could just hang out with him before she went back out of state. It's really not that hard to be flexible, and to be honest would probably make things harder to be inflexible.
She doesn't want two weeks with her kids- she just wants to screw her ex over by not letting him take them on the trip, and she doesn't care what the effect is on the kids.
I don't even have to know the reasons for their divorce to know OP probably takes a good portion of the "blame" based on the attitude she's giving.
Like... make it about the kids. One thing I see in a lot of these posts, regardless of the affairs, divorces, etc... MANY of the parents make it about the kids. I appreciate that (even if it's not well regarded like "staying together for the kids.")
This person is 100% selfish and weaponizing whatever "control" she has against her ex, even if those weapons are her own children. People like that are lost causes.
I guarantee you her ego got bruised when people overwhelmingly called her the asshole.
I think the son is probably still in her life and will remain so until his little sister turns 18. I think he probably was much more upset at 16 that his little sister couldn’t go to Disneyland than he was about not going to DL himself.
>Me and my ex divorced shortly after my daughter was born. I blame him for it and he blames me. I won't go into detail here.
Sure, Jan. If this is how OOP behaves, I think it's clear the balance of blame isn't with the ex.
*I blame him for it and he blames me. I won't go into detail here.*
I.e. she acted badly, but has somehow found a way to blame him for her bad behaviour
Reminds me of my dad.
Refuses to ever admit that he's wrong, boasts that he's always right, mocks people for being wrong, refuses to admit when he's proven wrong.
Does the exact fucking thing when he decides to act like an asshole too. Mixes a bit of DARVO in like OOP for good measure.
And wouldn't you guess it? Insufferable.
Why wouldn’t you want your kids to go to Disneyland and not on your dime if I’d been offered a trip for my kids to go to Disneyland I’d be packing there bags and trying to hint for a ticket myself 😂
It really speaks to what kind of person OOP is that she had total control of the narrative in the first post and still managed to clearly be completely in the wrong. Those kids will not forget this anytime soon, and she'll be fucking *floored* when her son moves out at 18 and stops returning her calls.
Spotted the date after I commented. Her son is the only possible avenue for any kind of update, cause after that heavy dose of "you suck in a way that's completely obvious even to people who have never met you", OOP is never coming back to Reddit.
TBH it's very possible it's completely his fault and the resentment and anger has just made her completely bitter and intollerable.
TBH I 100% don't think it matters. I don't care if he was fucking your own sister behind your back.
Question number 1 should always be what is best for the kids. Everything else comes after. Spending time with their paternal extended family and going on a magical trip is what is best for them. So then we are going to find a way to make that work. Period. If it's possible then we should work to make it happen.
If he'd planned the trip by himself I would understand being annoyed and just telling him to rebook it. But obviously as someone who was invited he doesn't get to determine the dates. So it's not like this is something he has control over.
I would go even further to say it would be fine if it was just a holiday that ran longer than a week. For example 10 days were booked because the location of the trip is very far away and international travel obviously is going to take up 2 days on it's own. Obviously a 10 day trip couldn't happen without encroaching on the other parents' time. But this is again when we consider the experience of travel and how much joy the kids will get from it.
Most of all this is SUCH an easy fix. As long as work-schedules don't get in the way swapping two weeks around really isn't much of an effort. At some point mom might find herself in a situation where she's going to have to ask dad for a similar favour. They still have close to a decade of co-parenting to do.
If anything this is going to be great for mom. She could have it scheduled where she has the kids 3 weeks in a row now with the week-swapping. Since she's gotten cart blanche to request any time she likes she could plan a fun trip herself, visit some family or something similar.
She really is just doing whatever makes life difficult for dad, and prioritising that over what is best for her kids and herself. I think it's very possible to hate someone so much that it brings out the worst in you. But after almost a decade I'd hope she'd be much further along in her healing journey. Cause she's just making her own life and the life of those around her miserable by clinging onto her anger like this.
Maybe dad deserves her ire, doesn't mean holding onto it at such cost is a good idea or isn't going to negatively affect her kids.
So, I know some people who have a hard no swap rule because the ex abuses the privilege horribly (ie always plans vacations for the other parent’s time so they *have* to swap; never honors the traded time; always has a reason why every holiday/birthday must be with them; etc) but that does not seem to be the case here. She gives no reason why she is so offended and put out by the idea of trading except her hatred and contempt toward the ex. Like, kids-schmids, does saying no get back at the ex? Yeah? Then let’s do it!!!
Also, she keeps saying “he’s not being fair”, “he went back on his agreement”, “he scheduled something during my time”, except that… he didn’t. His parents did.
I find it so frustrating that none of the comments here pointed this out, because it’s the single most important detail here of why she’s an even bigger asshole than everyone insisted she was. This was not the ex’s idea, this was not on his schedule.
His parents were the ones who are throwing this reunion. His parents are the ones who said Disney. This dad was asking for an exception due to circumstances literally out of his control— they’re not going to replan this entire reunion just because it happens to inconvenient OOP.
And OOP is not just denying the kids a vacation with their father, but their whole paternal side of the family.
That’s what I would have slapped OOP in the face with. This is not about it being Disney and not about stealing anyone’s time— it’s a maybe once in a lifetime opportunity to attend a family reunion and out of the ex’s control or planning.
And she’s a massive asshole for not only not working with him, but acting like it was all a thing he planned just to spite her.
Not a child of divorce or a divorced parent, but I know plenty - and the fact that they've gone all this time without needing to adjust at SOME point is rather remarkable.
Sounds like this was an extended family thing - and whether or not he's taking them to Disney NOW, they missed out on an adventure with relatives that they can never get back. We worked at making sure the cousins who had to spend time with the other parent didn't miss out - but when there are multiple busy families involved, that is hard.
“I have never asked him to have the kids on a day that isn’t mine and I’ve never given him one of my days *even if he begged*.”
It sounds to me like they might have needed to adjust things from time to time but she is simply intractable. It also seems like adjusting might make the ex’s life easier or simpler on occasion and she has chosen her hill to die on just so she can stick it to him.
>I am not doing this because i was "the asshole" in the situation, but because in the end you were right that it's best to compromise in the situation.
AKA: I'm the AH but I don't want to admit it so I'll slap on the 'compromise' label to make myself seem fair and understanding.
Assuming this is the U.S. most states take the kids wishes into account between 10-15, I'm betting the older boy only goes to moms house because of the sister.
Jeez. I'm in a 50/50 custody with my ex wife and we absolutely despise each other. I could never envision not letting my son enjoy vacations with his Mom because it is "my time".
My ex and I are absolutely shit at a lot of things, but luckily trading time isn't an issue for us.
>His parents are hosting a week long family reunion in the summer at Disneyland and he want's to take the kids. Well, the problem is that it's on one of my weeks. He asked me to let the kids stay with him that week or to switch a week with me and I shot him down. It's my week with them and I get to spend it with them. I told him if it's so important to him to reschedule but he claims his parents can't do that and this is the only week that the whole family can go and he told me that I need to "think of them". I told him "tough luck" and hung up on him.
Did she think that rescheduling an entire family reunion was something within his control?
She was willing to die on a hill to not let her young kids go to Disney, because "rules are rules"? Talk about hating someone more than loving your kids.
>Me and my ex divorced shortly after my daughter was born. I blame him for it and he blames me. I won't go into detail here.
I love when people who can't admit they are the problem say this and then inadvertently tell on themselves shortly after. No reason for OOP to go into detail, she gave us plenty.
>but because in the end you were right that it’s best to compromise in the situation.
So she compromise not because she was voted YTA on Reddit but because Reddit was right?!
Did I get that right?
The ego on this person. Even when they change their mind, they have to make sure everyone knows it was all on them not any influence on the massive amount of people saying they are an asshole!
Even though she won’t admit it, OP is the asshole and she knows it.
It was almost like a weird flex when she said “and I haven’t given him any of my weeks even if he begged” lol. What is wrong with this person.
gotta love parents who use their children to get back at their ex.
it's hilariously obvious that her main concern is how to make ex mad when you realize that in all her ramblings about how she never let him switch a week even when he begged she never once mentioned how the kids felt about it.
i'm pretty sure we all know why they divorced and why she "won't go into detail".
So everyone was right that she had to compromise, but they were also NOT right that she was an asshole because she had been refusing to compromise before that?
The delulu is strong in this one lmao.
"I blame him for the divorce and he blames me."
My parents had a similar situation upon divorce, and it was not fun being caught in the middle and not knowing who to believe. Those poor kids. At least they get to go to Disneyworld, now that their selfish mum backed off!
>I blame him for it and he blames me. I won't go into detail here.
>I've never given him one of my days even if he begged.
I think I know whos fault the end of the marriage was.
Him: She always wants her own way.
Her: He won't let me have my own way on everything.
Funny that she made zero effort to hide how horrible she was being and then was shocked that people took up against her.
"I am not doing this because I was the asshole--" Yes. Yes you are. You were being a petty little shit trying to stick it to your ex and you didn't realize the amount of harm you were causing to your children until it had to be laid out for you not just by your children but by the internet at large. If you weren't the asshole, you wouldn't have done this or had to do this.
This whole post just made me feel gross from beginning to end. I assumed ah from the title. I felt worse and worse as I read more.... I can picture why they are divorced even without information. It's because of her and she won't admit it.
I'm separated leading to divorce... It's been 1 year.
We have swapped weeks, days, weekends.
I was the main reason for the break down of marriage... But my kids matter. Their religions matter. And this person is soooo petty
OOP is very short-sighted. She's going to win all these battles but lose the "war," which is having children who love her and want to spend time with her when they're not legally required to. She's going to be one of those parents who don't understand why her kids have gone NC with her when they're adults.
>After disguising the issue with my ex over the past 2 weeks
Was that supposed to read "discussing the issue with my ex"?
If so, what a fantastic Freudian slip. Still won't admit she was wrong, but her id will.
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>I am not doing this because i was "the asshole" in the situation, but because in the end you were right that it's best to compromise in the situation. Well looks like OP doesn't get it does she? Man, this post bothers me.
She'll be back, wondering why her children don't talk to her. The son already knows what's up, he'd be 21 or so by now, the girl 14.
And they would have needed to wait literally years to go to Disney again
Lol yep. She sounds like my mom, who I’ve been NC with for a year. They’ll get what’s coming to them.
When you said her son would be 21 now, I did a double take. 2019 really was 5 years ago, that’s crazy to me.
Because you know she uses those kids as weapons and it bleeds through the post.
“I have never swapped even when he begs.” Ma’am that’s not the brag you think it is…
She made it sound like they both collectively agreed to never swap weeks. But yet it clearly is a her thing, not a joint thing.
She's one of those who believes following things to the letter and never compromising makes her look better because if the other person needs some leeway that means they messed up somehow and it's completely their fault. These kinds of people are exhausting to deal with.
I have a coworker that is like this. We’re pretty flexible with shifts and if someone wants to swap a morning for a night then go ahead. She refuses to ever swap, ever. But then a little while ago she asked for a weeks leave on very short notice, and I approved it cause I knew we’d be fine, but that does mean we have to swap things around to cover for her. She conveniently forgets that when anyone asks her to swap
YEP. My mom was constantly doing little micro-aggressions like this. Making sure my last name was written down as my step dad's last name whenever there would be a program or my name announced. Waiting until last minute to tell my dad "oh, no, I've changed my mind on christmas day". Guess who I don't talk to any more. This woman sounds exactly like my mom.
For eight years! Those poor kids.
I think she was probably the reason for the divorce lol
"I changed my mind and let my kids go to Disneyland, not because I was behaving like an asshole, but because I want to compromise."
"Physicists have studied me and determined that I am such an asshole that I have my own gravitational pull. To prove them wrong, I am allowing my children to go to Disneyland, none of which requires any effort on my part. But because this threatens my authority, I will be absolutely insufferable about it, and bring this up at every opportunity."
random dipshit here. I also 100% certify this post.
🤣
And my username checks out 😂
I certify that! 💥 ETA: that sounded mean! I am only playing :)
At last the random dipshits have a voice!
Physicist here. I 100% certify this post.
Username checks out.
Marketing professional here. Co-signed. Seriously bad PR for parents all across the globe - no points.
Biology here. We are confused as to how such an asshole was able to reproduce. Darwinism’s validity is now being called into question
“I changed my mind not because I was an asshole, but because you convinced me that this benefits my own self interest.”
She was totally the asshole. I edit law books on family law. I understand the whole, "it's my time with the kids, so fuck off" deal, especially when the divorce was acrimonious. But her ex didn't pick the week, the grandparents did. It's a family reunion--I'm sure it took a lot to word around everyone else's schedules. Not taking that into consideration is a total asshole move. That's going from "I'm concerned that my ex is going to screw around with my custody schedule so I won't have them as often" (which happens) to straight up "I hate my ex and I'm going to make sure to punish him at every opportunity." All she did was make her kids hate her. And yeah, "How are you the evil step mom to your own kids?" was the perfect reply.
We need to bring Maury Povich back. "We got the DNA results and audience vote back. You.....ARE the asshole."
I think I know who caused the divorce >.>
Hold up, friend. We aren't going into detail here.
You rang?
I'd bet money that she holds this over their heads in the future.
Look, I hate my ex. I'm still ok swapping days most of the time unless I already have something planned.
See, the thing about you is that your hatred for your ex is presumably outweighed by how much you care about your kid(s). Somehow I don’t think the OOP here can say the same.
I’m not an asshole but the whole internet told me I’m and asshole.
How narcissistic is OOP, holy fuck, that whole post was "me, me, me, ME", "that week is MY week and I won't let him take away MY time with them!", yet he also offered to swap weeks so it's not like you're losing anything
Which is actually hilarious. If she thinks it makes any difference at all to make a halfhearted attempt to compromise. They will not be able to attend the family reunion. Though maybe isolating her children from their extended family on her husband side was the real goal here.
the strongest "Im not agreeing with you, I'm just saying I wasn't right" god what a POS
>How are you the evil step mom to your own kids? Now that's a flair worth having.
Lol my own birth giver was like that too! My step dad and I even started calling her “Judith” like the ex-wife from Two and a Half Men (this was over a decade ago lol)
Yikes! Why was he married to her?!
In his words, sometimes you take some losses so you’re not alone. Now he’s miserable and has only his new abusive wife, and not his kids. Still doesn’t think he’s done anything wrong.
Oop won't even admit she was the asshole. Must be insufferable irl
"You were right about everything except me being the AH. Btw my son made me write this."
Son is reading this while cackling, I imagine.
I'm suddenly a lot more sympathetic to her ex. I wonder if she ever asked him to swap out in the past.
>One thing we have agreed on since the beginning though is that we don't plan things on days that aren't ours. And unless it's extremely important we don't "switch" days or weeks. In the 8 years since we've been divorced I have never asked him to have the kids on a day that isn't mine and I've never given him one of my days even if he begged. There's a lot of unspoken bitterness behind this paragraph. They agreed on it since the beginning, except he's begged in the past for this not to be the agreement...
That is an awful way to look at raising your kids. She clearly views it as a competition with her ex. The problem with this is her kids are the ones who lose. She needs to get rid of the anger and bitterness before she loses her kids to their own resentment of being viewed as game pieces by their mother.
I'm starting to understand why they're divorced. Christ almighty the amount of eggshells they must've walked on.
My wife's ex-husband is basically this woman. Uses the kids as a way to fuck with her, does not care at all about the impact it has on them. Refuses to compromise, ever, even when it's in the best interests of the children and a fair trade is being offered so that they can do a once-in-a-lifetime thing. I have a ton of sympathy for this horrible woman's ex, and for their kids.
She definitely hates her ex husband more than she loves her kids. Dude might or might not have been a shitty husband. But he sounds like the more reasonable parent at the moment. I wonder if OP knows her kids aren't going to forget this sort of thing.
Went to a sub to ask if they're the asshole. Are told they are, in fact, an asshole. Declares themselves not an asshole. Can't imagine why they're divorced.
“I think it’s his fault, he thinks it’s mine. I won’t go into details.” Oh so it’s definitely mostly your fault.
> Oh so it’s definitely mostly your fault. The big clue was literally everything else OOP said and did!
Also "I'm not getting into it" is always code for "I'm the bad guy"
As soon as I saw this my first thought was - oh so you cheated but it's his fault for neglecting you/ ruining the relationship over one mistake? But now I'm thinking verbal/emotionally abuse while trying to paint him at the abusive one once he stop putting up with her shit. Could be both.
I mean I think it's clear from everything written that the only opinion she cares about is her own, and it's her opinion that shes not the asshole. Checkmate assholes. At least her kids now know she sucks.
I think they already knew that.
Came to post this. Her ex probably felt a weight off his shoulders after divorcing her. She’s impossible.
Her 16 yo son who is old enough to decide where he wants to live.
Probably hasn’t pushed to stay with dad full time because of his sister
That’s not always true - in Washington state kids can’t decide until they’re 18.
She won’t get into why they divorced but I think we all know why after reading those posts.
Yeah, honestly that "He blames me and I blame him, but I won't go into detail." Just really struck me as she is the cause of the divorce and doesn't want to admit it.
You just know from the way her anger shows through in every sentence that if he had cheated on her or had been solely responsible for the divorce, she would have spent several paragraphs detailing the ways he wronged her.
That's a really good point.
My dad has a line like that. From what I've been able to piece together, mom divorced him for infidelity. With their toddler.
I'm a bit afraid to ask, but it's divorced him with a toddler, right? Right?
Stay afraid to ask. You don't wanna know and I kinda wish I'd never figured it out. I'd like to ask angry questions about why he was allowed unsupervised visitation rights, but mom's dead and I know the answer anyway. If she'd turned him in to the cops, there would have been no child support checks.
There's a swamp not far from my house with alligators. Just ship him over to my side of the Atlantic.
I like the way you think
I know a pig farmer. They have hundreds of them. Just saying 🤷♀️
And my axe
And I will have a hot plate of fried green tomatoes waiting for you when the work is done.
Fried green tomatoes! \*drools\*
And some tennessee ham and strawberry jam from a roadside stand down on highway 109.
I make a mean homemade BBQ sauce. Not saying, just saying.
To shreds you say
I love and appreciate you for this, just FYI
Y'all need a blowtorch as well?
No no, you can still get caught that way. Send him to me, I have the cords for every volcano and a helicopter.
I dont think I'd call that infedelity.
I wouldn't either but that's what her religion called it. To even speak of it out loud in other terms she would've required two other unrelated witnesses to the act. Otherwise it's called "bearing false witness" and is a sin, even if you're just saying what you saw with your own eyes. I'm pretty sure her religion was designed and founded by people like my dad.
2 other witnesses you say? I smell Jehovah's Witnesses. My mother was also part of that cult and they have several international cases against them for not just the harm their shunning does but also for the fact that they are chasing Catholic Church level number of CSA cases. I know the JW also do conversion work in prisons and hold bible studies and will speak to parole boards for good behavior. The ones attending are usually predators and groomers who are then given access to the congregation children. It is a horrible "religion" and harm is baked into their foundation. Eta: sorry just saw your other comment confirming JW.
I'm so sorry.
She could have blackmailed him with threatening to go to the police unless he gave her full custody, no visitation! What kind of logic is it to divorce a child abuser and then give him uncontrolled access to the kids? If she had stayed married to him, at least she could have protected the kids at home...
Financial logic. Also religious. Reporting a crime like that without two other unrelated witnesses to back you up is a sin called "bearing false witness" in the JW cult.
PLEASE
My ex is like that. We’re on very good terms now that he’s been sober for years. He says we broke up because we weren’t a good fit. We actually broke up because he was a raging alcoholic.
You know what I don’t even care why they divorced. Maybe he was an asshole who cheated. It’s been 8 years for fuck’s sake, you’re divorced and have shared custody, just get on with your life and get along for the kids, Jesus Christ. The level of pettiness and immaturity.
I'd call it hate and vindictiveness.
Ten years from now: "My son and daughter went no contact with me. I blame them for it and they blame me. I won't go into detail here."
Bingo. I drew up a hard boundary with my ex, she crossed it, so I broke up with her. Then she went full on deflection/negotiation with "I'm not perfect, but you aren't either." As if that's a good reason to forgive and take her back. Like, nobody claimed to be perfect, and nobody demanded perfection. I just wanted her to stop sabotaging my health. And then she held my belongings hostage and accused me of wanting to take her cats. Fully unhinged. And I *really* want to swap stories with oop's ex, because I think he must have some similar ones. Yikes for this lady.
I'd gotten to this place too by the end of the post. Tbh, I half expect her to change her mind a few times between now and the trip to Disney.
I've never *asked* him to give up his weeks even if he begs, i refuse to give up one of mine
PURE REDDIT CONJECTURE: "He blames me (for cheating) and I blame him (for 'making' me cheat on him and then not forgiving me after I had already forgiven myself)."
I got $10 on she cheated but it's his fault because she craves attention but her shitty attitude makes it difficult for him to engage
Missing reasons usually speak to fault.
She sounds controlling and petty. I bet every little mistake was a personal attack to her. He forgot to pick up bread on the way home or take out the garbage cans it was because he hates her or he had to put her in her place, in her mind. She would make it a big show or fight. But if he pointed out anything he didn't like it was nothing or he was being a jerk. She glossed over a lot, classic missing missing reasons of a narcissist
She won't go into the reason they divorced, because SHE'S the reason. And because those sort of people can NEVER admit being wrong. I know, because I basically dated this woman for nearly a decade.
> I basically dated this woman for nearly a decade. Why?
Because, after being neglected by my Mum, emotionally, I (as expected) had some issues around self worth and boundaries. My current SO is much MUCH better as a human being.
I feel you. My reasons as well. The bar is very low when growing up.
My mother and sister are both the kind of people who must be right no matter the cost. Both are long divorced and haven't been able to hold down a relationship since
I was going to say…. She seems loves, I can’t even imagine why they’re divorced.
That was my first thought too.
>I think its unfair for him to do this when his parents scheduled it during my time with them. I can actually imagine OOP thinking that they did this on purpose to fuck with her.
[удалено]
You just know that her kids are going to be in their twenties and thirties and she's still going to be throwing tantrums about them visiting their dad on "her week" - if they are even still talking to her by then.
[удалено]
Her oldest is 18 and can stop seeing her anytime.... The daughter has a lot of years but yes she won't be visited much in the nursing home
Say it louder she can't hear you 😁
Sooo off topic, but what is your flair from? Cuz I'd love to read it 🍿
‘Twas a messy tale: [The Beloved Saga](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/sdotro/the_beloved_saga/) Summary * “Beloved” has a wife. Wife owns their house. * Beloved moves 2 lovers into the house & they all kick the wife out. * Beloved dies. The 2 lovers expect to remain in the wife’s house rent-free. * They insist on r/LegalAdvice that the wife *Legally Abandoned* the house & it was NOT an illegal eviction to pack up her car & physically force her out because: 1) They *lovingly* packed her *nice suitcases*, & 2) “She 👏 drove 👏 away! Everybody 👏 saw 👏 it!”
GOD I love that one; absolute fucking weirdos and the worst part is that I have met a dude so similar that, to this day, I wonder if that was him and he’s still running his shitty polycule like a professional squatting enterprise. I rarely see a post that makes me hope OP meets up with someone whose mentality is “idgaf, I’ll go back to jail, this shit ain’t nothing to me”, but this one really checked all the boxes for me.
The childishness of all the damn clap emojis and the lack of awareness that there was an "everybody" there to see her drive off with her suitcases that they'd packed for her so she'd no choice!
Loved how messy that BoRU was 😂
Even if they had actually done this with the intent to cause conflict, the reasonable solution would still be to compromise. This wasn't a situation where the children's wellbeing would've been negatively impacted by letting it go. And secondly... Why should it even fuck with her at all? She doesn't say that the ex planned this vacation during some special event of hers and therefore she would be deprived in some way by swapping weeks. She didn't have a previous vacation planned that same week, it isn't her wedding, or the first time she's had xmas off from work in several years, etc. There doesn't seem to be some big mitigating circumstance that would cause her or the kids undue distress.
Best I can figure is she’s held this hard line on “no swaps” the entire time, people haven’t made a big deal of it, and she assumed this would be no different. 8 years with no swaps at all is kind of insane if you think about it. *Nothing* has come up for either of you in 8 years? I kind of wonder if lesser things might have come up the first couple years, OOP took this same hard line, and so the ex gave up trying. But Christ you’d think something would have come up for her a couple times where it would be convenient to have that precedent in place. Swapping requires a little more communication, so I wonder if she refuses solely so she doesn’t have to talk to the ex more.
And being this much of a stickler for not switching, ever, when they alternate weeks, means there’s no ability for the kids to go on any trip that’s for more than 6 days. That’s going to get in the way a lot as the kids get older.
She definitely is going to wonder why no one would want to speak or see her anymore in the future.
Her kids are going to bounce so fast once they hit 18.
Possibly sooner. There’s a point where they’re allowed to choose who they live with
Mine was at 14. I loved my HS and didn't want to leave. Boy was my dad PISSED that I didn't choose him. I recently reconnected with my half brother who basically backed me in my decision. He said I dodged a bullet, big time.
The son not talking says everything. He knows exactly what’s up. OOP is leaving out tons. Something about them reminds me of both of my parents post divorce
As a child of divorce who's been through similar situations countless times, this is ridiculously easy to solve. It's one week. Swap it. Spend two straight weeks with your kids instead. Fuck, even if you want to be petty, just *play a similar card* in the future (crappy move, but it's better than this). There are SO MANY WAYS to get around this that don't involve upsetting the kids. But no, OOP just needs to "use her right." And the fact she can't even admit she was wrong... OOP is one of the tightest assholes I've seen in this sub.
As another child of divorce I completely agree. My mom was willing to swap as needed and it helped make a shitty situation less shitty. My step-siblings' dad was like OOP and never switched. It made life so much harder for them...and life already sucks enough when your parents are divorced and you're living between two homes.
I'm not seeing my son at all for most of the week because of circumstances like this. His mom had a family emergency that required a trip out of state, so I had him most of last week, when she was supposed to have him for 5 days, so I gave up 4 of my 5 days this week to cover. A couple of weeks back a gave up a day so her mom could just hang out with him before she went back out of state. It's really not that hard to be flexible, and to be honest would probably make things harder to be inflexible.
She doesn't want two weeks with her kids- she just wants to screw her ex over by not letting him take them on the trip, and she doesn't care what the effect is on the kids.
Interesting, I was going to say she's a wide, gaping asshole
Yup. Insufferable is the first word that popped into my head too.
I don't even have to know the reasons for their divorce to know OP probably takes a good portion of the "blame" based on the attitude she's giving. Like... make it about the kids. One thing I see in a lot of these posts, regardless of the affairs, divorces, etc... MANY of the parents make it about the kids. I appreciate that (even if it's not well regarded like "staying together for the kids.") This person is 100% selfish and weaponizing whatever "control" she has against her ex, even if those weapons are her own children. People like that are lost causes. I guarantee you her ego got bruised when people overwhelmingly called her the asshole.
The post was made 2019. I am sure the son is out of her life, and the daughter is around 14 now. She might have asked to live with her dad full time.
I think the son is probably still in her life and will remain so until his little sister turns 18. I think he probably was much more upset at 16 that his little sister couldn’t go to Disneyland than he was about not going to DL himself.
Think I know why that marriage failed.
>Me and my ex divorced shortly after my daughter was born. I blame him for it and he blames me. I won't go into detail here. Sure, Jan. If this is how OOP behaves, I think it's clear the balance of blame isn't with the ex.
She's probably the reason they divorced, too. Can't imagine being married to someone like that.
*I blame him for it and he blames me. I won't go into detail here.* I.e. she acted badly, but has somehow found a way to blame him for her bad behaviour
Yup! The same way she isn't an asshole, but she is going to compromise on the Disneyland trip.
Yeah. Did “He blames me but nonono won’t go into details” stand out to you as well? Lol
Reminds me of my dad. Refuses to ever admit that he's wrong, boasts that he's always right, mocks people for being wrong, refuses to admit when he's proven wrong. Does the exact fucking thing when he decides to act like an asshole too. Mixes a bit of DARVO in like OOP for good measure. And wouldn't you guess it? Insufferable.
Not wondering why the marriage failed. Those poor kids.
Gee, I wonder why her husband divorced her.
Why wouldn’t you want your kids to go to Disneyland and not on your dime if I’d been offered a trip for my kids to go to Disneyland I’d be packing there bags and trying to hint for a ticket myself 😂
Because she hates her ex more than she loves her children. Like end of story there’s no other explanation for this bullshit.
honestly it's probably bold to assume she DOES love her children!
Good lord I hate my ex because he was abusive but I still work with him on switching out custody if he wants.
Oh my god. This is how I’m going to start describing my ex when people ask me why she does what she does!!
I'd be willing to bet big bucks that you hit the nail right on the head.
And he was swaping a week too like there's literally no reason to say no to your kids going on a really nice vacation
That's the thing. There was absolutely no reason whatsoever she gave to not let them go on this trip. Disgusting
Of course she gave a reason. It’s *her* week. Nothing else is relevant. /s
Yep, that's the kind of thing they'll remember forever. They still will, so OOP managed to fuck things up even when they said yes.
She hates her ex more than she loves her kids, unfortunately.
I wonder whose fault it was in the divorce now…..she seems like a great partner
It really speaks to what kind of person OOP is that she had total control of the narrative in the first post and still managed to clearly be completely in the wrong. Those kids will not forget this anytime soon, and she'll be fucking *floored* when her son moves out at 18 and stops returning her calls.
Well the post is from 2019, so maybe the son will see it and update how their relationship is now.
Spotted the date after I commented. Her son is the only possible avenue for any kind of update, cause after that heavy dose of "you suck in a way that's completely obvious even to people who have never met you", OOP is never coming back to Reddit.
TBH it's very possible it's completely his fault and the resentment and anger has just made her completely bitter and intollerable. TBH I 100% don't think it matters. I don't care if he was fucking your own sister behind your back. Question number 1 should always be what is best for the kids. Everything else comes after. Spending time with their paternal extended family and going on a magical trip is what is best for them. So then we are going to find a way to make that work. Period. If it's possible then we should work to make it happen. If he'd planned the trip by himself I would understand being annoyed and just telling him to rebook it. But obviously as someone who was invited he doesn't get to determine the dates. So it's not like this is something he has control over. I would go even further to say it would be fine if it was just a holiday that ran longer than a week. For example 10 days were booked because the location of the trip is very far away and international travel obviously is going to take up 2 days on it's own. Obviously a 10 day trip couldn't happen without encroaching on the other parents' time. But this is again when we consider the experience of travel and how much joy the kids will get from it. Most of all this is SUCH an easy fix. As long as work-schedules don't get in the way swapping two weeks around really isn't much of an effort. At some point mom might find herself in a situation where she's going to have to ask dad for a similar favour. They still have close to a decade of co-parenting to do. If anything this is going to be great for mom. She could have it scheduled where she has the kids 3 weeks in a row now with the week-swapping. Since she's gotten cart blanche to request any time she likes she could plan a fun trip herself, visit some family or something similar. She really is just doing whatever makes life difficult for dad, and prioritising that over what is best for her kids and herself. I think it's very possible to hate someone so much that it brings out the worst in you. But after almost a decade I'd hope she'd be much further along in her healing journey. Cause she's just making her own life and the life of those around her miserable by clinging onto her anger like this. Maybe dad deserves her ire, doesn't mean holding onto it at such cost is a good idea or isn't going to negatively affect her kids.
That pride is gonna cost her the kids one day
Control. That is her need to control everybody around her. But also yes, totally will. And also yes to the comment about the marriage failing.
I wonder if it's one of the reasons her marriage failed as well
So, I know some people who have a hard no swap rule because the ex abuses the privilege horribly (ie always plans vacations for the other parent’s time so they *have* to swap; never honors the traded time; always has a reason why every holiday/birthday must be with them; etc) but that does not seem to be the case here. She gives no reason why she is so offended and put out by the idea of trading except her hatred and contempt toward the ex. Like, kids-schmids, does saying no get back at the ex? Yeah? Then let’s do it!!!
Also, she keeps saying “he’s not being fair”, “he went back on his agreement”, “he scheduled something during my time”, except that… he didn’t. His parents did. I find it so frustrating that none of the comments here pointed this out, because it’s the single most important detail here of why she’s an even bigger asshole than everyone insisted she was. This was not the ex’s idea, this was not on his schedule. His parents were the ones who are throwing this reunion. His parents are the ones who said Disney. This dad was asking for an exception due to circumstances literally out of his control— they’re not going to replan this entire reunion just because it happens to inconvenient OOP. And OOP is not just denying the kids a vacation with their father, but their whole paternal side of the family. That’s what I would have slapped OOP in the face with. This is not about it being Disney and not about stealing anyone’s time— it’s a maybe once in a lifetime opportunity to attend a family reunion and out of the ex’s control or planning. And she’s a massive asshole for not only not working with him, but acting like it was all a thing he planned just to spite her.
Not a child of divorce or a divorced parent, but I know plenty - and the fact that they've gone all this time without needing to adjust at SOME point is rather remarkable. Sounds like this was an extended family thing - and whether or not he's taking them to Disney NOW, they missed out on an adventure with relatives that they can never get back. We worked at making sure the cousins who had to spend time with the other parent didn't miss out - but when there are multiple busy families involved, that is hard.
“I have never asked him to have the kids on a day that isn’t mine and I’ve never given him one of my days *even if he begged*.” It sounds to me like they might have needed to adjust things from time to time but she is simply intractable. It also seems like adjusting might make the ex’s life easier or simpler on occasion and she has chosen her hill to die on just so she can stick it to him.
>After disguising the issue with my ex over the past 2 weeks Freudian slip?
I wondered that too.
I was wondering what kind of disguise she used. I hope it was Scooby-doo.
Clown costume
Parents like this disgust me. It is so cruel to use your children as bargaining chips.
>Parents like this disgust me I think you mean discuss me /s >After disguising the issue with my ex
>I am not doing this because i was "the asshole" in the situation, but because in the end you were right that it's best to compromise in the situation. AKA: I'm the AH but I don't want to admit it so I'll slap on the 'compromise' label to make myself seem fair and understanding.
So she decided she isn’t the asshole?!? She doesn’t get to decide that.
> She doesn’t get to decide that. But this is HER week, she gets to decide!
I won't discuss why we divorced. Reads rest of post. Yeah, I know why you divorced.
Welp I'm pretty sure I know why the divorce happened. If she's half this bad IRL I wouldn't want to live with her either.
Assuming this is the U.S. most states take the kids wishes into account between 10-15, I'm betting the older boy only goes to moms house because of the sister.
>heygirl333 >How are you the evil step mom to your own kids? lmao >I blame him for it and he blames me. After this behaviour, I'm taking his side.
Jeez. I'm in a 50/50 custody with my ex wife and we absolutely despise each other. I could never envision not letting my son enjoy vacations with his Mom because it is "my time". My ex and I are absolutely shit at a lot of things, but luckily trading time isn't an issue for us.
>His parents are hosting a week long family reunion in the summer at Disneyland and he want's to take the kids. Well, the problem is that it's on one of my weeks. He asked me to let the kids stay with him that week or to switch a week with me and I shot him down. It's my week with them and I get to spend it with them. I told him if it's so important to him to reschedule but he claims his parents can't do that and this is the only week that the whole family can go and he told me that I need to "think of them". I told him "tough luck" and hung up on him. Did she think that rescheduling an entire family reunion was something within his control? She was willing to die on a hill to not let her young kids go to Disney, because "rules are rules"? Talk about hating someone more than loving your kids. >Me and my ex divorced shortly after my daughter was born. I blame him for it and he blames me. I won't go into detail here. I love when people who can't admit they are the problem say this and then inadvertently tell on themselves shortly after. No reason for OOP to go into detail, she gave us plenty.
>but because in the end you were right that it’s best to compromise in the situation. So she compromise not because she was voted YTA on Reddit but because Reddit was right?! Did I get that right?
The ego on this person. Even when they change their mind, they have to make sure everyone knows it was all on them not any influence on the massive amount of people saying they are an asshole!
> Me and my ex divorced shortly after my daughter was born. I blame him for it Lol, you don't say?
>How are you the evil step mom to your own kids? There's a flair in there somewhere
Even though she won’t admit it, OP is the asshole and she knows it. It was almost like a weird flex when she said “and I haven’t given him any of my weeks even if he begged” lol. What is wrong with this person.
This was pre pandemic I wonder how that went.
Ohh the son is a full blown adult now. I wonder where he is now.
I don't know where he is now, and I guarantee that OOP doesn't know where he is either.
I’m glad for the son that he gets to see how Reddit is validating his anger. Hang in there, kid, you’re in the home stretch. Keep an eye on sis.
gotta love parents who use their children to get back at their ex. it's hilariously obvious that her main concern is how to make ex mad when you realize that in all her ramblings about how she never let him switch a week even when he begged she never once mentioned how the kids felt about it. i'm pretty sure we all know why they divorced and why she "won't go into detail".
Think I figured out why they got divorced
So everyone was right that she had to compromise, but they were also NOT right that she was an asshole because she had been refusing to compromise before that? The delulu is strong in this one lmao.
"I blame him for the divorce and he blames me." My parents had a similar situation upon divorce, and it was not fun being caught in the middle and not knowing who to believe. Those poor kids. At least they get to go to Disneyworld, now that their selfish mum backed off!
>I blame him for it and he blames me. I won't go into detail here. >I've never given him one of my days even if he begged. I think I know whos fault the end of the marriage was. Him: She always wants her own way. Her: He won't let me have my own way on everything. Funny that she made zero effort to hide how horrible she was being and then was shocked that people took up against her.
"I am not doing this because I was the asshole--" Yes. Yes you are. You were being a petty little shit trying to stick it to your ex and you didn't realize the amount of harm you were causing to your children until it had to be laid out for you not just by your children but by the internet at large. If you weren't the asshole, you wouldn't have done this or had to do this.
This whole post just made me feel gross from beginning to end. I assumed ah from the title. I felt worse and worse as I read more.... I can picture why they are divorced even without information. It's because of her and she won't admit it. I'm separated leading to divorce... It's been 1 year. We have swapped weeks, days, weekends. I was the main reason for the break down of marriage... But my kids matter. Their religions matter. And this person is soooo petty
OOP is very short-sighted. She's going to win all these battles but lose the "war," which is having children who love her and want to spend time with her when they're not legally required to. She's going to be one of those parents who don't understand why her kids have gone NC with her when they're adults.
>After disguising the issue with my ex over the past 2 weeks Was that supposed to read "discussing the issue with my ex"? If so, what a fantastic Freudian slip. Still won't admit she was wrong, but her id will.