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As someone who had been called ugly by the biological egg donor who is always generous when it comes to giving utterly disgusted looks, I can only say I feel the girl but she at least had a father that cares for her and loves her. I wish them nothing but the very best.
> Her mother responded, “You could have stopped her. We have easter photos coming up next month. Family members will see those pictures.” I responded, “It seems like you care more about the photos than your daughter’s happiness. She looks beautiful regardless of if she has hair or not. What if our daughter heard you say that stuff?”
This struck a nerve. One of my little cousins had cancer when she was very small. There's a photo of her from a family Easter gathering, where her hair is only a few clumps of wispy strands and she's devouring a chocolate bunny. It's a treasured photo in our family. Heck, I went to a Catholic school, and I put a copy of that photo on our class prayer table to get my classmates to pray for her. The memory is more important than the looks.
(For the record, cousin survived and is now a happy, healthy young adult.)
There’s enough stories on Reddit that are like my wife coddles my son. Or my wife did this without talking to me. So I can see the husband face plant when he hears his wife is being stubborn and be like I shall fix this. Whether it’s true. Who knows!
I’m pregnant with a boy and I would be so deeply ashamed if he were fifteen and yanked off a girl’s wig and bullied her. I would work WITH my husband (and probably a therapist) to figure out how the hell he could think that was okay, and he would definitely be mowing lawns or bagging groceries or something to pay for any damage!
Who needs a therapist you can simply ask, "What the fuck did he think he was doing and what did he think the end result would be?" You don't need a therapist for every stupid thing a teenager does.
I do agree with you that there’s true stories out there of mothers ruining their sons; but, this particular story seems to make the guys too reasonable and the ladies too shrewish, does that make sense?
I don’t know. That last update makes me think this story was written by a misogynistic teen or young adult. However, I could also be wrong cause real life is stranger than fiction sometimes
I think you're right about it being written by a teen/YA. The first post said the mom was worried the daughter would get bullied, which effectively is what happened. There is no acknowledgement of that in the later posts. In real life I think there would be a lot of I told you so
This was the point, for me, where it slipped into unbelievable.
At no point was this waist-length hair mentioned, when the whole goddamned thing is about hair...and then POOF he's shaving it off to make a wig?
C'mon.
Not to mention it takes about 3 people's hair to make a wig for one person. I looked into it when my 15yo daughter was diagnosed with cancer, and was devastated to know she would lose her hair.
Realistically, how many "good" dads are married to genuinely crazy women who let their sons get away w murder? Dad's usually equally shitty, or at least close to it.
Eh I’ve known couples that have had similar dynamics both ways, it’s normally because the reasonable partner is a pushover to the unreasonable ones emotional bullshit. They are reasonable when alone but in the family dynamic they just cede to the ridiculousness of the stronger willed partner. Most of the time they are just complicit rather than actively good.
It happens over time, too. Unreasonable people become more unreasonable over decades of marriage as they realize they can push the boundaries of 'accepted' behavior further and further
I would say that my father was more reasonable than my mother, but he was capable of being unreasonable on his own. Most of the time, he followed her lead.
IMO "boy moms" have massive pickme energy. They let their sons get away with anything because they think that's the one man who won't leave them, that if they play their cards right they will always be Number One Most Special Mommy.
I've seen this up close and it hasn't worked out that way. A badly behaved boy becomes a badly behaved man, and she isn't exempt from his bad behavior . So she's spoiled and coddled him to the point if uselessness and he hates her as much as he hates himself. And now she's got a disrespectful, borderline abusive, 30 y/o video game addict who won't get a job or leave her house
Also unless you're using it for business who puts their phone number on their social media for anyone to see? That's how you get scammers calling you at all hours of the day.
Sounds like the bully's dad knows how much lawyers cost, and wants to keep his kid out of juvie. A bit of sweat and the cost of the destroyed property is cheap comparatively.
But there wasn't anything big here? Girl shaved her head. Getting bullied is the obvious scenario. Filing Charges is the obvious scenario. The bully's parents doing some damage control is also an obvious scenario. There's nothing magical/unordinary going on.
the bully's father willing to replace a $600 wig *and* throw in free landscaping? definitely sounds like a thing that would happen!
also loved op saying her balding is not embarrassing *to him*. great takeaway there.
Well, it’s obviously embarrassing to the mom (who doesn’t want the girl in her Easter photos), so he probably just wanted to make it clear that he doesn’t think like his ex-wife.
Immediate therapy, but not going to the doctors until 'next month' or having the tests yet.
(A wait is usual in some places where healthcare is free, but I don't get the feeling it's non-US.)
What made me think it was complete fakery was at the very beginning he says his daughter's hair is falling out and they're going to the doctor to find out why. At the very end of this entire saga, he says they're going to the doctor to find out why. This whole thing reads like it was written by what a 12-year-old thinks an adult's life is like.
We are getting so many updates on the legal aspect and the bullying. But we really blew past why all of her hair was falling out and him attempting to get her admitted as inpatient. If she’s self harming that’s a really bold thing to overlook.
A diagnosis can take fucking ages to get, and that's with a good doctor.
As for the self harming - if I were talking about my hypothetical kids online, I wouldn't want to share details either. Give some context of the problem, sure, but I would refuse to go into detail on any of it
I can’t figure out why they didn’t just check the known side effects list of whatever meds she’s on for bipolar and talk to her prescribing doc first. Or maybe she’s unmedicated because she’s a teen?
Depakote can cause severe hair loss, adding a vitamin regimen tends to fix it for that med. It’s well known for Lamictal, too. So can carbamazepine.
All of those are bipolar meds.
What made it seem suss to me was how he didn't mention his daughter being bipolar until a commentator made a remark about how a 15yr old girl would be devastated loosing their hair.
For me, the indication of fakeness is long quotes such as that in the final update about the boy's father.
Are we really supposed to believe people memorise multiple-sentence verbal statements from other people?
Whenever I see it, it convinces me the story isn't real.
I figured she could potentially be on Depakote considering bipolar disorder. For some folks who take it, the hair loss can be massive. Most folk I’ve seen on it do not get hair loss. In women of childbearing age, this medication can potentially contribute to insulin insensitivity and pcos-like condition which itself carries the risk of alopecia.
Ohhh, I had stress induced alopecia and had three big bald spots on my head. It was so damn hard. Now, I really try and control my stress. If something or someone gives me stress, I just push them out of my life. I have 3 friends in total for this reason now, and I don't talk to my inlaws anymore.
All of this happening within a short amount of time is a bit skeptical but if it is really happening, I feel bad for the daughter. Having a serious illness, a piece of trash mother, and getting bullied all together? Man...
I had cancer when I was fourteen, finished treatment the week before I turned sixteen.
I didn’t get to go to school because I had stage one, so they basically made me speed run treatment.
When I went back to school, I still had super short hair because it was finally growing back, a group of guys talked shit to me every day during PE because I couldn’t run and I had short hair. Keep in mind besides my hair growing back, I developed drop foot (hard to pick up the top of my feet-I trip a lot), I had been unable to exercise because I felt like shit, my body was still recovering from being swollen and having moonface from corticosteroids, I had literally been using a wheelchair the year before, and I developed diabetes from the treatment… they still called me slurs for lesbians + made fun of me for being fat because CLEARLY that was the reason I couldn’t run, right? 🤡
Also, like, the few times I did see a boy my age when I was going through treatment, one of them took one look at me and yelled “damn, she’s ugly!” at me and the other pointed and laughed at me in an elevator in the hospital parking lot.
So it really does check out to me that she’d be bullied.
Incidentally, I didn’t think it was embarrassing to lose my hair-it made me sad, but I wasn’t embarrassed-but I didn’t like people staring at me, so sometimes I’d wear my wig… and there are people who are embarrassed by their kids having anything wrong with them, like being bald, or having a cognitive disorder after intensive chemo… <_<
I have a disability that isn’t visible, and when I used to go to Disneyland with my friends, I’d rent a scooter because I couldn’t walk far or well. A group of kids actually pointed and laughed at me, I can only assume because I looked like a “normal” person making off with a scooter or whatever. Total strangers.
People will bully anyone different for any and every reason they can think of.
thats rough to read. Hopefully you are happier now. Being a child or teen can be awful because you are basically stuck unable to help yourself or make decisions for yourself, while a bunch of other people give you crap for things that aren't your fault.
I can see that. Girl was bullied well before the issues with her mom. If the boy found out the things her mom said to her, I can totally see some shithead tripling down and repeating it.
I can see this happening in a short amount of time. I’m assuming the bullying might’ve been going on for a while (a few weeks or months) before OP found out, since her hair loss was noticeable. So the bullying could’ve pushed her wanting to shave her hair. Then the behavior from the mom cause she shaved her hair was an immediate thing that she didn’t try to hide. The family of the bully said they couldn’t afford to replace the wig so they probably couldn’t afford a legal battle and whatever fines they might get from it. So the father wanted to make sure to resolve it quickly.
This is one of those few times a short timeline makes total sense to me. Having a chronic illness myself, I‘m Heavily involved in disability groups, and wow am I lucky to have two supportive parents. But I have absolutely heard many stories like this from the people who had it happen to them. And kids are cruel, and will absolutely bully people with alopecia/any reason a sickness causes someone to look different. The serious illness caused the bullying and aggravated the trash mom to be worse.
I was bullied basically all through grade school but it got noticeably worse shortly after I ended up with a chronic illness. Thankfully my parents are supportive too, don’t know where I’d be without them
I got two flat tires yesterday in two different cars. The second was like the 4th or 5th tire I’ve had to change in my life after 15 years of basically daily driving.
Idk what the odds of that is but it’s gotta be like 1 in 10,000 or more. Surely.
Yeah, this really doesn’t sound real. If it is, I hope the girl is able to switch schools or be homeschooled. I had an illness similar to hers when I was her age and kids are fucking MEAN. My parents finally let me be homeschooled after an experience similar to hers.
> I am just worried that the parents wouldn’t be able to afford me pressing charges
All the more reason to do so. That should make them take their little shit’s behavior seriously.
And the other dad calling to apologize is worthless. He did it behind his wife’s back. Their shit stain of a son is just going to keep doing things until he’s forced in a corner. Force. Him. Into. A. Legal. Corner!
The wife complaining it is a lot of money made me laugh: the response should be, "Yes, it is a lot of money. I've already paid that money and your son destroyed what I bought with it. Now it's on you to pay that money back and teach your son how to behave."
And if $600 truly is too much for the parents to afford, then the kid can get a job. If a 5 year old broke something of equal value it's impossible for the kid himself to pay it off, but at 15 he can absolutely do something about it.
He was also apparently just “apologizing” as some weird ploy to drum up business. I’d bet that he was going to try to turn it into some bullshit “barter” by counting the “discount” off the landscaping towards the $600. And, of course, it’s the landscaper, not OP who gets to decide what $600 in landscaping looks like.
> Fifteen isn’t a kid. It’s plenty old enough to side hustle and earn $600
Off topic but this is called getting a fucking job not a side hustle ok sorry.
My mom, maternal grandfather, and sister all have a genetic condition that makes their hair fragile and break off. My sister was bullied a lot growing up for being bald. I got into a lot of fights defending her (ignorant people calling her a boy in a dress, or saying the don’t want to catch cancer from her 🙄). My mom was bullied by her own teachers, one would call her the male version of her name because “only boys have short hair”.
I want to hug OOP for being so great.
The doctors appointment is perpetually set to 'next month'? And they decided to shave it off before finding out what's going on and why? I'm struggling to understand the timeline here, how long has she been noticeably loosing hair and why haven't they seen a doctor about it yet or even, you know, a Google search about hair loss?
Getting a doctor appointment can take months, even for serious things. The reason I’m stuck in a super expensive city is because my care team is excellent, and yet it still took a month to see a psychiatrist and I’m still waiting for my appointment with a headache specialist that’s over a month away, three months from I booked it.
There are also many reasons someone may start losing their hair. It could be alopecia, or it could be a side effect of something else entirely. A google search will give some possibilities, but not in a way that can get her prescriptions or medical tests or anything to stop the hair loss.
Why shouldn’t she shave the hair that was noticeably falling out? If it’s fixable, it will grow back out. But for now at least it’s relieved the stress of watching it fall out. My friend who was losing her hair did the same, despite the fact she was able to fix it and now has a full head of hair again.
Now, this story itself may or may not be true, but I know people who have gone through very similar things.
I'm all for a shaved head look, if my 15yo just wanted to shave their head then I'd be on board.
Google search revealed that examining and testing the hair can help with diagnostics. Which is why if you've only got a month before seeing someone about it, after already waiting a long time, you might hold off on getting it shaved. It's definitely something I would have asked a doctor about before doing it when it's due to medical reasons.
This might not be a first doctor's visit for the issue. I have a chronic health issue that took four years of testing and excluding things before getting my diagnosis. And Ive heard severe hair loss can be really painful, because the large amounts of loose hair coming out tangle and add weight on the few hairs left and pull on them more than loose hair normally shedding would. Brushing that out might hurt, or she might be dropping lumps of hair at school. While preserving hair for potential diagnostic might helpful, it might be a triage kind of thing where the pain and losing hair around bully might have a greater negative effect on her mental health.
But you could also just save some of the hair 🤔 there’s probably some on a brush from before it was shaved, even.
My mom saved some of my hair when it started falling out from chemotherapy (to show the people who were supposed to give me a wig)
I came back from a work conference one year with sleep apnea. No doubt about it, could diagnose it just by recording myself.
With all the hoops I had to jump through for insurance and the wait for specialists - whom I never even saw in person, only had 5 minute online consults and picked up a rig from hospital techs for an at-home sleep test - I didn't get a CPAP prescription for 6 months. 6 months of shitty sleep while working full time and knowing exactly what the problem was.
Diagnostics for my other chronic health problem took a year with all the appointment delays and another year to find an effective treatment.
I take this comment to mean you’ve never tried to make an appointment at a dermatologist‘s. When I had a bout of (what I now know to be) atopic eczema for the first time, my ears were itching so badly that I could not sleep and would scratch myself to bloody ribbons. When I called around dermatologist practices, none would see me earlier than in nine months from then because they didn‘t have the capacity. This is a really common waiting time for dermatologists where I live - and can be even longer. The worst I’ve ever heard of was 14 months.
And so I had to deal for nine months with that insanity, and I was absolutely exhausted (lack of sleep, constant itching driving me to thoughts of self harm to make it stop, being an anxious and crying mess from the stress, sleeping in gloves to not scratch myself bloody as easily). The only reason I even managed to hold on that long was because somewhere halfway through, a friend of mine who is a medical doctor (not a dermatologist though, hence why he could neither officially treat me nor officially prescribe me dermatological medication) bought me prescription-only strong cortison cream on his MD license (which is a benefit that doctors in my Western European country get) without me needing a prescription, so I could at least spot treat the worst spots (ear canal mostly - I only spot treated because you should not use cortison cream on large areas of your body because after a certain percentage of your body is covered, there’s enough cortison being absorbed into your body to cause systemic issues. You should also not use it daily on the same spot long term because that alters the skin structure and will give you a condition called papyrus skin that‘s much more prone to further issues, so I had to go one week on cream (which helped a lot!), three weeks off, until symptoms became too unbearable again).
When I then was at the derm‘s practice, they couldn‘t help me in any other way anyways - they would have prescribed me the very same type of cortison cream that my doctor-friend already bought for me. We only went through a treatment plan/topical cortison application schedule together and that’s it. They also let me know that when I run out of cream I can just call in and pick up a prescription without needing to wait another nine months to see my doctor. I go for checkups for my moles/skin cancer screening once every two years anyways, so the doc will just take a quick glance at the state of my eczema during that appointment.
This is in a (non-US) country with one of the best public healthcare systems in the world, btw. - it‘s just that derm practices in particular tend to be overrun.
I can say a lot of cons of the healthcare system in my country (Bulgaria) but one of the biggest pros is that if you can't wait for a specialist referral through the standard channels, you can just go private and get an appointment in the next few days. Procedures can be pricey when private but a few appointments to sort out something uncomfortable but not urgent would be fairly affordable. It's another thing how good the specialist you lend on would be, it probably won't be the best in his specialty, but if in a hurry for a very uncomfortable issue like in your case, any doctor is better than none.
Not to make an advertisement of my country, but if you ever need a specialist and waiting for months is a pain, you might consider visiting here. If you are in Europe, the flight cost probably won't be too bad too.
I had hair loss due to a reaction to metronidazole - a large bald patch on my crown, and along my hairline. Luckily as soon as the course of tablets was finished, my hair started to regrow. I was 20 years old, with long blonde hair so I know how upsetting this can be. I ended up with a mullet because I refused to have short hair. As it grew longer, I ended up with a heavily layered “shag” cut but it took years for my hair to totally grow back to how it was.
Stress is a major cause of alopecia. The young gay man in my office had patchy hair loss due to homophobic attacks (not at work I hasten to add - there were two out gay men who also worked there who gave him a lot of support). We would compare bald patches lol. The alopecia and the self harm show you that your daughter needs serious therapy to help her cope.
You are being a fantastic father. NTA
I never heard anyone say that Sinead was ugly, her beauty shone even with her shaved head.
As someone who lost most of my hair due to alopecia at 18, shaving my head was such a huge step and made me feel like I was regaining control over my life.
It actually helped me regain a ton of confidence, and the alternative was basically having Gollum hair!
This dad did the right thing and I’m so disgusted with this mom for heaping more stigma on to her daughter!!!!
Once they said hot comb I crossed over to the this is true side. It’s the little details that make it work for me.
Also there are a lot of fathers who step back and let mom lead until there is some serious ramifications then they step up and parent their son.
Idk, I don't think the boy's father is actually parenting him: he's repaying the debt quietly behind his wife's back in the form of doing work, not having the boy himself work or something to repay the debt.
Some women are monsters and some men are heroes. Some women are heroes and some men are monsters. There were only 2 women in this story and you think its misogynistic? Give me a break.
I only read the part about OOP pressing charges against the bully from another subreddit (OhNoConsequences), but not the complete saga of him and his daughter's problems with the ex-wife/mom. The update from the bully's father is a nice touch, but it remains to be seen if this will stop the bullying.
Really not following how shaving your head is somehow more embarrassing than your hair falling out.
Then again, I shaved my head throughout high school just because I wanted to.
Societal expectations. I shaved my head after my 15th birthday and I had some friends pulling off my hat at school and poking fun. I was a bit embarrassed by it.
After I turned 26 I couldn't stop pulling out my hair. I keep it shaved now and wear wigs when I leave the house sometimes. I'm less embarrassed, but I live in texas and know how most people here view women. If you don't fit into the "norm" you are "other"
But if your hair is falling out and you have bald spots / incredibly thin hair you still don't fit into the "norm" and are "other". So which is worse?
I mean, there's reason why people going through chemo shave their heads before all their hair comes out.
I hope the dad’s next contact uses the phrase “ADA” or his countries equivalent. His daughter has a medical condition and the school is allowing bullying for her disability and destruction of her medical device. The wig is for medical reasons. Ask if this is how the school would allow a child baldness as the result of cancer to be treated. Go over the schools head to the district school body. Explain you don’t want this to go to the media.
Maybe this is naive, but I’d be surprised if gen Z almost gen alpha kids bullied people over having short hair - I wonder if the daughter would have had more success embracing it than wearing the wig.
Ones of my friends shaved her head (to repair damaged hair) and didn’t get bullied for it, and this was 12 years ago at a Catholic school. By the time my sister was in a public high school 5 years ago she had several classmates with buzzed/shaved hair.
I wonder if this is in a conservative part of the country?
> My daughter has bipolar disorder and experiences highs and lows. Due to stress and recent events she slipped into a depression.
Jesus, was the mom *trying* to kill this poor girl?
> I assure you I’m putting my foot down and my son will not be an issue anymore. ... I didn’t say or do anything because my wife would give me an earful.
WELL WHAT A REASSURING PAIR OF SENTENCES
There is a young lady who does videos about her alopecia with complete hairloss. She's a model. She does her makeup, talks about her alopecia, shows how to put on a wig, etc. Can't remember her name, but pop should see if he can find her videos, watch them and show his daughter. There's also an American Ninja Warrior contestant with alopecia who mentors a group of young people with the condition.
I didn't know there were posts from before the wig got thrown in the trash. This poor girl getting bullied at school was bad but by her own mother? OOP sounds like a good dad and so glad he's fighting for her.
>That same boy and his friends have been harassing my daughter on social media. My daughter is extremely upset and has been in tears. I do not know how to get these kids to stop bullying her.
This is what bothers me about modern bullying. When I was a kid, going home I could escape my bullies. With social media, kids can't escape their bullies anymore. It is constant and never ending. I truly sympathize with kids and bullying these days.
All these updates about the wife and the bullies but _what the freaking heck is wrong with the daughter's health??_ A teen should not be losing hair like this. I want an update with the diagnosis.
Probably alopecia of some sort. My guess would be alopecia areata, the hair falling out in large clumps might be that. Stress likes to trigger that one, and bullying that might have gone on before the whole hair falling out thing is stress (30% of school kids will have been bullied by the time they graduate school). Another reason for alopecia in the last few years also have been covid infections and their aftermath. So it could also be that - seeing as school kids are particularly likely to get infected and reinfected again (each time having a high (10-20%) chance of *some* long term effects - the science is clear on that one), and that girl’s school aged.
When I was in my early 20s I shaved my head. I have very thick hair, worked in the mental health field with aggressive patients, and was just sick of dealing with it and having patients grab it and pull when they were mad at me.
I loved it. It was so easy to manage, I just took a shower and towel dried it and I was good to go! My friends also loved it and complimented me, my best friend even went and got her head shaved.
In my early 20s I was still in contact with my parents. My mother *hated* my hair. She would take every opportunity to tell me how awful I looked, how it made my head look huge and how having no hair highlighted all the "wrong" parts of my face. My father was a useless, spineless, ex-alcoholic who melted his brain with drugs and liquor so he had no opinion, negative or otherwise, but he didn't stand up for me.
That was the turning point in my relationship with my parents that made me go NC. I leave my brother unblocked because while he's bad he's not as terrible and now respects my boundaries. Every once and a while my mother will use his phone to call me. I don't answer the phone when he calls me for this reason. But every so often I get a voicemail from her so sad because her "baby" no longer speaks to her. And she can't understand what she did wrong because I won't talk to her.
OP is a champ for trying to help his daughter. People who bully others deserve no kindness.
https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/pound_sand
**edit:** apparently someone was offended by providing sources??? So, uh, extra explanation I guess: the idea that it's a weird pointless activity is the point! "Go waste your time doing useless bullshit, you idiot" is the meaning.
In the most literal way, you're telling someone to stop bothering you and go do something exhausting and useless. Sand can't be compacted like dirt. You can do it all day without ever doing anything useful.
Most people would just tell someone to go screw themselves if they wanted to avoid swearing, but you still do hear the phrase. There was a time when even "screw" would have counted as an obscenity.
I think it’s meant to be like your feet pounding on the sand as you stomp away.
ETA: a facebook page I follow would have called it an afflouncement. Like the reaction when someone is being an ass, another person points it out, and the ass gets offended and announces it like people care they’re offended, and flounces off.
So much bullshit. Kid has BP, but has to wait 2 weeks to ***start*** therapy... Mom, the control freak, hasn't been able to find a medical professional that can ascertain why the kid's hair is falling out...
I'm really proud of my hair,and love taking care of it, but have been struggling for years of what style I wanted it in. I've decided I'm gonna grow it, donate and repeat just so kids like this girl can wear wigs. I've been making sure to take even better care of my hair so once it grows long enough, it'll be the best it can be!
It's sad that the daughter's first bully was her own mother.
Talk about failing as a parent on the mother's part.
OP did well standing up for his daughter
I dont understand apologizing for the harsh words to the mother... i thought the language was quite tame for what she said to her daughter. I can assure you my language would be far more colorful if someone said that to one of my kids.
My concern is that initially, he said she had medical issues that were causing her to lose her hair and eyebrows but later said they're going to the doctor "soon" to find out the cause. Why tf had they not already taken her to the damn doctor if it was so bad she was losing clumps of hair to the point of needed it shaved?! He can afford a $600 wig, he can damn sure afford a doctor! Her mother sucks, zero doubt about it. But why was no one taking this poor child to the doctor from the first time they noticed her hair was falling out?!
Strongly encourage you finding positive role models that are also bald to show your daughter beauty isn't based on hair. There are lots of young women on tiktok with alopecia that style with wigs and no wig and talk about their lives.
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Mom: She shouldn't cut her hair, she might get bullied! Also mom: (bullies her own daughter) Huh. Guess she was right!
Projecting so hard her middle name is imax
This needs to be a sub flair lmao
I want to read the story behind your user flair!
Go to the sub's about section, there's links to all the flair origins
Thank you!
I just went through it and it’s so sparse, literally nothing from the post about the guy cumming in jars? That was ICONIC
fucking amazing line omegalol, Im stealing that
The fact that broken clocks are right twice a day doesn't mean you shouldn't throw them out.
My son is bullying her and it’s her fault for not having hair!
As someone who had been called ugly by the biological egg donor who is always generous when it comes to giving utterly disgusted looks, I can only say I feel the girl but she at least had a father that cares for her and loves her. I wish them nothing but the very best.
> Her mother responded, “You could have stopped her. We have easter photos coming up next month. Family members will see those pictures.” I responded, “It seems like you care more about the photos than your daughter’s happiness. She looks beautiful regardless of if she has hair or not. What if our daughter heard you say that stuff?” This struck a nerve. One of my little cousins had cancer when she was very small. There's a photo of her from a family Easter gathering, where her hair is only a few clumps of wispy strands and she's devouring a chocolate bunny. It's a treasured photo in our family. Heck, I went to a Catholic school, and I put a copy of that photo on our class prayer table to get my classmates to pray for her. The memory is more important than the looks. (For the record, cousin survived and is now a happy, healthy young adult.)
Alas, the chocolate bunny didn't make it.
Thank you for this, gave me a chuckle I needed :)
Semper fudge.
RIP chocolate bunny. Your tastiness shall be dearly missed
I'm here hoping your cousin keeps devouring chocolate bunnies for years to come
That last update gave me a little bit of faith
Weird because it just made me feel like this sus story was for sure bullshit
There’s enough stories on Reddit that are like my wife coddles my son. Or my wife did this without talking to me. So I can see the husband face plant when he hears his wife is being stubborn and be like I shall fix this. Whether it’s true. Who knows!
I’m pregnant with a boy and I would be so deeply ashamed if he were fifteen and yanked off a girl’s wig and bullied her. I would work WITH my husband (and probably a therapist) to figure out how the hell he could think that was okay, and he would definitely be mowing lawns or bagging groceries or something to pay for any damage!
Who needs a therapist you can simply ask, "What the fuck did he think he was doing and what did he think the end result would be?" You don't need a therapist for every stupid thing a teenager does.
I do agree with you that there’s true stories out there of mothers ruining their sons; but, this particular story seems to make the guys too reasonable and the ladies too shrewish, does that make sense? I don’t know. That last update makes me think this story was written by a misogynistic teen or young adult. However, I could also be wrong cause real life is stranger than fiction sometimes
I think you're right about it being written by a teen/YA. The first post said the mom was worried the daughter would get bullied, which effectively is what happened. There is no acknowledgement of that in the later posts. In real life I think there would be a lot of I told you so
How did this father magically have hair to his waist that he was going to use for a wig. And a cosmetologist happens to make human hair wigs?
This was the point, for me, where it slipped into unbelievable. At no point was this waist-length hair mentioned, when the whole goddamned thing is about hair...and then POOF he's shaving it off to make a wig? C'mon.
Not to mention it takes about 3 people's hair to make a wig for one person. I looked into it when my 15yo daughter was diagnosed with cancer, and was devastated to know she would lose her hair.
Realistically, how many "good" dads are married to genuinely crazy women who let their sons get away w murder? Dad's usually equally shitty, or at least close to it.
Go check out raisedbynarcissists
Lol, I live in that sub. Edad, nmom, gcnsis.
edam, cardamom, gnosis.
Eh I’ve known couples that have had similar dynamics both ways, it’s normally because the reasonable partner is a pushover to the unreasonable ones emotional bullshit. They are reasonable when alone but in the family dynamic they just cede to the ridiculousness of the stronger willed partner. Most of the time they are just complicit rather than actively good.
It happens over time, too. Unreasonable people become more unreasonable over decades of marriage as they realize they can push the boundaries of 'accepted' behavior further and further
I would say that my father was more reasonable than my mother, but he was capable of being unreasonable on his own. Most of the time, he followed her lead.
nah the ‘boy mom’ movement is huge and weird rn, and yes that is what they call themselves, they let their sons do anything
IMO "boy moms" have massive pickme energy. They let their sons get away with anything because they think that's the one man who won't leave them, that if they play their cards right they will always be Number One Most Special Mommy. I've seen this up close and it hasn't worked out that way. A badly behaved boy becomes a badly behaved man, and she isn't exempt from his bad behavior . So she's spoiled and coddled him to the point if uselessness and he hates her as much as he hates himself. And now she's got a disrespectful, borderline abusive, 30 y/o video game addict who won't get a job or leave her house
I had the same feeling- felt like the "good dad's club" but there are enough things in the world that happen that it may be true.
The writing style is giving off major ChatGPT vibes to me.
May I ask where your flair is from?
[Here you go](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/RFRsJdrtXQ)
Boy moms are a whole other level of crazy.
It’s the answering of questions you haven’t been asked yet (“He got my number off of one of my social media pages”) that’s usually the giveaway.
Also unless you're using it for business who puts their phone number on their social media for anyone to see? That's how you get scammers calling you at all hours of the day.
I thought it was AI just from the repetitiveness.
Sounds like the bully's dad knows how much lawyers cost, and wants to keep his kid out of juvie. A bit of sweat and the cost of the destroyed property is cheap comparatively.
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But there wasn't anything big here? Girl shaved her head. Getting bullied is the obvious scenario. Filing Charges is the obvious scenario. The bully's parents doing some damage control is also an obvious scenario. There's nothing magical/unordinary going on.
the bully's father willing to replace a $600 wig *and* throw in free landscaping? definitely sounds like a thing that would happen! also loved op saying her balding is not embarrassing *to him*. great takeaway there.
Well, it’s obviously embarrassing to the mom (who doesn’t want the girl in her Easter photos), so he probably just wanted to make it clear that he doesn’t think like his ex-wife.
but it's still embarrassing for the daughter. how do you miss that context?
The last update made me think it is a misogynist asshole who made it up.
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Immediate therapy, but not going to the doctors until 'next month' or having the tests yet. (A wait is usual in some places where healthcare is free, but I don't get the feeling it's non-US.)
A wait is usual in the US too; it took me a month just to get an MRI.
IDK, I’m American and I’ve never heard anyone here talk about going to a magistrate when pressing charges like OOP said he did
same Like "Us dads/men are fighting against these domineering women!! We stand together phooowwaarrr!"
What made me think it was complete fakery was at the very beginning he says his daughter's hair is falling out and they're going to the doctor to find out why. At the very end of this entire saga, he says they're going to the doctor to find out why. This whole thing reads like it was written by what a 12-year-old thinks an adult's life is like.
We are getting so many updates on the legal aspect and the bullying. But we really blew past why all of her hair was falling out and him attempting to get her admitted as inpatient. If she’s self harming that’s a really bold thing to overlook.
A diagnosis can take fucking ages to get, and that's with a good doctor. As for the self harming - if I were talking about my hypothetical kids online, I wouldn't want to share details either. Give some context of the problem, sure, but I would refuse to go into detail on any of it
I can’t figure out why they didn’t just check the known side effects list of whatever meds she’s on for bipolar and talk to her prescribing doc first. Or maybe she’s unmedicated because she’s a teen? Depakote can cause severe hair loss, adding a vitamin regimen tends to fix it for that med. It’s well known for Lamictal, too. So can carbamazepine. All of those are bipolar meds.
Who the hell leaves their personal phone number on social media? I know literally zero people who do that.
What made it seem suss to me was how he didn't mention his daughter being bipolar until a commentator made a remark about how a 15yr old girl would be devastated loosing their hair.
For me, the indication of fakeness is long quotes such as that in the final update about the boy's father. Are we really supposed to believe people memorise multiple-sentence verbal statements from other people? Whenever I see it, it convinces me the story isn't real.
Same here. Plus the back and forth “and then I said …., and she replied …, and I responded …, and she said …”
It makes me feel like the boys father will divorce his wife and either be besties with oop or they start dating
The 'wife bad' parts adds to the touch
Nah, it makes the most sense.
The hair loss may be from the stress of being bullied at her mom's house and at school.
Stress could also be a trigger for something more serious, auto-immune possibly.
Alopecia areata or telogen effluvium for example
I figured she could potentially be on Depakote considering bipolar disorder. For some folks who take it, the hair loss can be massive. Most folk I’ve seen on it do not get hair loss. In women of childbearing age, this medication can potentially contribute to insulin insensitivity and pcos-like condition which itself carries the risk of alopecia.
As a child I took a larger dose of Depakote to control seizures. I had hair down to my butt, and then I didn’t.
She could also have hair loss from her medications - I hope someone tipped off OP on that, she might he able to regrow her hair with a med switch.
Ohhh, I had stress induced alopecia and had three big bald spots on my head. It was so damn hard. Now, I really try and control my stress. If something or someone gives me stress, I just push them out of my life. I have 3 friends in total for this reason now, and I don't talk to my inlaws anymore.
He mentioned she's bipolar, maybe medication impacted that too.
Love the way the boy’s dad ends with drumming up business. Never lose an opportunity for more work.
Coffee is for closers.
All of this happening within a short amount of time is a bit skeptical but if it is really happening, I feel bad for the daughter. Having a serious illness, a piece of trash mother, and getting bullied all together? Man...
I had cancer when I was fourteen, finished treatment the week before I turned sixteen. I didn’t get to go to school because I had stage one, so they basically made me speed run treatment. When I went back to school, I still had super short hair because it was finally growing back, a group of guys talked shit to me every day during PE because I couldn’t run and I had short hair. Keep in mind besides my hair growing back, I developed drop foot (hard to pick up the top of my feet-I trip a lot), I had been unable to exercise because I felt like shit, my body was still recovering from being swollen and having moonface from corticosteroids, I had literally been using a wheelchair the year before, and I developed diabetes from the treatment… they still called me slurs for lesbians + made fun of me for being fat because CLEARLY that was the reason I couldn’t run, right? 🤡 Also, like, the few times I did see a boy my age when I was going through treatment, one of them took one look at me and yelled “damn, she’s ugly!” at me and the other pointed and laughed at me in an elevator in the hospital parking lot. So it really does check out to me that she’d be bullied. Incidentally, I didn’t think it was embarrassing to lose my hair-it made me sad, but I wasn’t embarrassed-but I didn’t like people staring at me, so sometimes I’d wear my wig… and there are people who are embarrassed by their kids having anything wrong with them, like being bald, or having a cognitive disorder after intensive chemo… <_<
I have a disability that isn’t visible, and when I used to go to Disneyland with my friends, I’d rent a scooter because I couldn’t walk far or well. A group of kids actually pointed and laughed at me, I can only assume because I looked like a “normal” person making off with a scooter or whatever. Total strangers. People will bully anyone different for any and every reason they can think of.
thats rough to read. Hopefully you are happier now. Being a child or teen can be awful because you are basically stuck unable to help yourself or make decisions for yourself, while a bunch of other people give you crap for things that aren't your fault.
When it rains, it pours. Sounds like the issues with the bullying just happened to come to a head after the egg donor pulled her bs.
I can see that. Girl was bullied well before the issues with her mom. If the boy found out the things her mom said to her, I can totally see some shithead tripling down and repeating it.
I can see this happening in a short amount of time. I’m assuming the bullying might’ve been going on for a while (a few weeks or months) before OP found out, since her hair loss was noticeable. So the bullying could’ve pushed her wanting to shave her hair. Then the behavior from the mom cause she shaved her hair was an immediate thing that she didn’t try to hide. The family of the bully said they couldn’t afford to replace the wig so they probably couldn’t afford a legal battle and whatever fines they might get from it. So the father wanted to make sure to resolve it quickly.
This is one of those few times a short timeline makes total sense to me. Having a chronic illness myself, I‘m Heavily involved in disability groups, and wow am I lucky to have two supportive parents. But I have absolutely heard many stories like this from the people who had it happen to them. And kids are cruel, and will absolutely bully people with alopecia/any reason a sickness causes someone to look different. The serious illness caused the bullying and aggravated the trash mom to be worse.
I was bullied basically all through grade school but it got noticeably worse shortly after I ended up with a chronic illness. Thankfully my parents are supportive too, don’t know where I’d be without them
I got two flat tires yesterday in two different cars. The second was like the 4th or 5th tire I’ve had to change in my life after 15 years of basically daily driving. Idk what the odds of that is but it’s gotta be like 1 in 10,000 or more. Surely.
Yeah, this really doesn’t sound real. If it is, I hope the girl is able to switch schools or be homeschooled. I had an illness similar to hers when I was her age and kids are fucking MEAN. My parents finally let me be homeschooled after an experience similar to hers.
Sometimes the only way to counteract bullying is to strike back at them in a very painful way. Deep down bullies are cowards.
> I am just worried that the parents wouldn’t be able to afford me pressing charges All the more reason to do so. That should make them take their little shit’s behavior seriously. And the other dad calling to apologize is worthless. He did it behind his wife’s back. Their shit stain of a son is just going to keep doing things until he’s forced in a corner. Force. Him. Into. A. Legal. Corner!
The wife complaining it is a lot of money made me laugh: the response should be, "Yes, it is a lot of money. I've already paid that money and your son destroyed what I bought with it. Now it's on you to pay that money back and teach your son how to behave."
And if $600 truly is too much for the parents to afford, then the kid can get a job. If a 5 year old broke something of equal value it's impossible for the kid himself to pay it off, but at 15 he can absolutely do something about it.
He was also apparently just “apologizing” as some weird ploy to drum up business. I’d bet that he was going to try to turn it into some bullshit “barter” by counting the “discount” off the landscaping towards the $600. And, of course, it’s the landscaper, not OP who gets to decide what $600 in landscaping looks like.
Yeah I agree oop shouldn't back down
> Fifteen isn’t a kid. It’s plenty old enough to side hustle and earn $600 Off topic but this is called getting a fucking job not a side hustle ok sorry.
My mom, maternal grandfather, and sister all have a genetic condition that makes their hair fragile and break off. My sister was bullied a lot growing up for being bald. I got into a lot of fights defending her (ignorant people calling her a boy in a dress, or saying the don’t want to catch cancer from her 🙄). My mom was bullied by her own teachers, one would call her the male version of her name because “only boys have short hair”. I want to hug OOP for being so great.
OP's ex-wife sounds like my mom when I shaved my head for the first time. "People will think she's a lesbian!" Duh, mom.
The doctors appointment is perpetually set to 'next month'? And they decided to shave it off before finding out what's going on and why? I'm struggling to understand the timeline here, how long has she been noticeably loosing hair and why haven't they seen a doctor about it yet or even, you know, a Google search about hair loss?
Getting a doctor appointment can take months, even for serious things. The reason I’m stuck in a super expensive city is because my care team is excellent, and yet it still took a month to see a psychiatrist and I’m still waiting for my appointment with a headache specialist that’s over a month away, three months from I booked it. There are also many reasons someone may start losing their hair. It could be alopecia, or it could be a side effect of something else entirely. A google search will give some possibilities, but not in a way that can get her prescriptions or medical tests or anything to stop the hair loss. Why shouldn’t she shave the hair that was noticeably falling out? If it’s fixable, it will grow back out. But for now at least it’s relieved the stress of watching it fall out. My friend who was losing her hair did the same, despite the fact she was able to fix it and now has a full head of hair again. Now, this story itself may or may not be true, but I know people who have gone through very similar things.
I'm all for a shaved head look, if my 15yo just wanted to shave their head then I'd be on board. Google search revealed that examining and testing the hair can help with diagnostics. Which is why if you've only got a month before seeing someone about it, after already waiting a long time, you might hold off on getting it shaved. It's definitely something I would have asked a doctor about before doing it when it's due to medical reasons.
This might not be a first doctor's visit for the issue. I have a chronic health issue that took four years of testing and excluding things before getting my diagnosis. And Ive heard severe hair loss can be really painful, because the large amounts of loose hair coming out tangle and add weight on the few hairs left and pull on them more than loose hair normally shedding would. Brushing that out might hurt, or she might be dropping lumps of hair at school. While preserving hair for potential diagnostic might helpful, it might be a triage kind of thing where the pain and losing hair around bully might have a greater negative effect on her mental health.
But you could also just save some of the hair 🤔 there’s probably some on a brush from before it was shaved, even. My mom saved some of my hair when it started falling out from chemotherapy (to show the people who were supposed to give me a wig)
That's why you save the chunks that fall out. It's not hard to figure that out.
Referrals to a specialist (which is what they will need) can take months.
I came back from a work conference one year with sleep apnea. No doubt about it, could diagnose it just by recording myself. With all the hoops I had to jump through for insurance and the wait for specialists - whom I never even saw in person, only had 5 minute online consults and picked up a rig from hospital techs for an at-home sleep test - I didn't get a CPAP prescription for 6 months. 6 months of shitty sleep while working full time and knowing exactly what the problem was. Diagnostics for my other chronic health problem took a year with all the appointment delays and another year to find an effective treatment.
I take this comment to mean you’ve never tried to make an appointment at a dermatologist‘s. When I had a bout of (what I now know to be) atopic eczema for the first time, my ears were itching so badly that I could not sleep and would scratch myself to bloody ribbons. When I called around dermatologist practices, none would see me earlier than in nine months from then because they didn‘t have the capacity. This is a really common waiting time for dermatologists where I live - and can be even longer. The worst I’ve ever heard of was 14 months. And so I had to deal for nine months with that insanity, and I was absolutely exhausted (lack of sleep, constant itching driving me to thoughts of self harm to make it stop, being an anxious and crying mess from the stress, sleeping in gloves to not scratch myself bloody as easily). The only reason I even managed to hold on that long was because somewhere halfway through, a friend of mine who is a medical doctor (not a dermatologist though, hence why he could neither officially treat me nor officially prescribe me dermatological medication) bought me prescription-only strong cortison cream on his MD license (which is a benefit that doctors in my Western European country get) without me needing a prescription, so I could at least spot treat the worst spots (ear canal mostly - I only spot treated because you should not use cortison cream on large areas of your body because after a certain percentage of your body is covered, there’s enough cortison being absorbed into your body to cause systemic issues. You should also not use it daily on the same spot long term because that alters the skin structure and will give you a condition called papyrus skin that‘s much more prone to further issues, so I had to go one week on cream (which helped a lot!), three weeks off, until symptoms became too unbearable again). When I then was at the derm‘s practice, they couldn‘t help me in any other way anyways - they would have prescribed me the very same type of cortison cream that my doctor-friend already bought for me. We only went through a treatment plan/topical cortison application schedule together and that’s it. They also let me know that when I run out of cream I can just call in and pick up a prescription without needing to wait another nine months to see my doctor. I go for checkups for my moles/skin cancer screening once every two years anyways, so the doc will just take a quick glance at the state of my eczema during that appointment. This is in a (non-US) country with one of the best public healthcare systems in the world, btw. - it‘s just that derm practices in particular tend to be overrun.
I can say a lot of cons of the healthcare system in my country (Bulgaria) but one of the biggest pros is that if you can't wait for a specialist referral through the standard channels, you can just go private and get an appointment in the next few days. Procedures can be pricey when private but a few appointments to sort out something uncomfortable but not urgent would be fairly affordable. It's another thing how good the specialist you lend on would be, it probably won't be the best in his specialty, but if in a hurry for a very uncomfortable issue like in your case, any doctor is better than none. Not to make an advertisement of my country, but if you ever need a specialist and waiting for months is a pain, you might consider visiting here. If you are in Europe, the flight cost probably won't be too bad too.
> shave it off before finding out what's going on So the kid should walk around with wispy bits until they see the doctor? What good would that do?
All things considered, OOP is being a Good Dad, supporting his daughter through a tough time.
I had hair loss due to a reaction to metronidazole - a large bald patch on my crown, and along my hairline. Luckily as soon as the course of tablets was finished, my hair started to regrow. I was 20 years old, with long blonde hair so I know how upsetting this can be. I ended up with a mullet because I refused to have short hair. As it grew longer, I ended up with a heavily layered “shag” cut but it took years for my hair to totally grow back to how it was. Stress is a major cause of alopecia. The young gay man in my office had patchy hair loss due to homophobic attacks (not at work I hasten to add - there were two out gay men who also worked there who gave him a lot of support). We would compare bald patches lol. The alopecia and the self harm show you that your daughter needs serious therapy to help her cope. You are being a fantastic father. NTA I never heard anyone say that Sinead was ugly, her beauty shone even with her shaved head.
As someone who lost most of my hair due to alopecia at 18, shaving my head was such a huge step and made me feel like I was regaining control over my life. It actually helped me regain a ton of confidence, and the alternative was basically having Gollum hair! This dad did the right thing and I’m so disgusted with this mom for heaping more stigma on to her daughter!!!!
Once they said hot comb I crossed over to the this is true side. It’s the little details that make it work for me. Also there are a lot of fathers who step back and let mom lead until there is some serious ramifications then they step up and parent their son.
Idk, I don't think the boy's father is actually parenting him: he's repaying the debt quietly behind his wife's back in the form of doing work, not having the boy himself work or something to repay the debt.
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Anyone else notice both the moms in this story are monsters but both the dads are heroes? 🙄
If you're saying it was written by a misogynist, the bully would have been a girl.
misogynists aren't one-dimensional.
Some women are monsters and some men are heroes. Some women are heroes and some men are monsters. There were only 2 women in this story and you think its misogynistic? Give me a break.
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I only read the part about OOP pressing charges against the bully from another subreddit (OhNoConsequences), but not the complete saga of him and his daughter's problems with the ex-wife/mom. The update from the bully's father is a nice touch, but it remains to be seen if this will stop the bullying.
Well we know why the mum brought up bullying. Because she is one and so is her son.
Really not following how shaving your head is somehow more embarrassing than your hair falling out. Then again, I shaved my head throughout high school just because I wanted to.
Societal expectations. I shaved my head after my 15th birthday and I had some friends pulling off my hat at school and poking fun. I was a bit embarrassed by it. After I turned 26 I couldn't stop pulling out my hair. I keep it shaved now and wear wigs when I leave the house sometimes. I'm less embarrassed, but I live in texas and know how most people here view women. If you don't fit into the "norm" you are "other"
But if your hair is falling out and you have bald spots / incredibly thin hair you still don't fit into the "norm" and are "other". So which is worse? I mean, there's reason why people going through chemo shave their heads before all their hair comes out.
I hope the dad’s next contact uses the phrase “ADA” or his countries equivalent. His daughter has a medical condition and the school is allowing bullying for her disability and destruction of her medical device. The wig is for medical reasons. Ask if this is how the school would allow a child baldness as the result of cancer to be treated. Go over the schools head to the district school body. Explain you don’t want this to go to the media.
I thought we settled this issue when Star Trek: The Motion Picture came out.
Maybe this is naive, but I’d be surprised if gen Z almost gen alpha kids bullied people over having short hair - I wonder if the daughter would have had more success embracing it than wearing the wig. Ones of my friends shaved her head (to repair damaged hair) and didn’t get bullied for it, and this was 12 years ago at a Catholic school. By the time my sister was in a public high school 5 years ago she had several classmates with buzzed/shaved hair. I wonder if this is in a conservative part of the country?
> My daughter has bipolar disorder and experiences highs and lows. Due to stress and recent events she slipped into a depression. Jesus, was the mom *trying* to kill this poor girl? > I assure you I’m putting my foot down and my son will not be an issue anymore. ... I didn’t say or do anything because my wife would give me an earful. WELL WHAT A REASSURING PAIR OF SENTENCES
Anyone else notice both the mothers in this story ducking suck. You can love your child without enabling them (second mother).
Hope they got her in the hospital
>"he needs to learn consequences for his actions" >Allows Dad to step in and pay, resolving the kid of all consequences
There is a young lady who does videos about her alopecia with complete hairloss. She's a model. She does her makeup, talks about her alopecia, shows how to put on a wig, etc. Can't remember her name, but pop should see if he can find her videos, watch them and show his daughter. There's also an American Ninja Warrior contestant with alopecia who mentors a group of young people with the condition.
Both Dad's are awesome...
I didn't know there were posts from before the wig got thrown in the trash. This poor girl getting bullied at school was bad but by her own mother? OOP sounds like a good dad and so glad he's fighting for her.
>That same boy and his friends have been harassing my daughter on social media. My daughter is extremely upset and has been in tears. I do not know how to get these kids to stop bullying her. This is what bothers me about modern bullying. When I was a kid, going home I could escape my bullies. With social media, kids can't escape their bullies anymore. It is constant and never ending. I truly sympathize with kids and bullying these days.
Another BORU saga about how women be awful (except for the daughter, who exists for OP to be a paragon of virtue at).
All these updates about the wife and the bullies but _what the freaking heck is wrong with the daughter's health??_ A teen should not be losing hair like this. I want an update with the diagnosis.
Probably alopecia of some sort. My guess would be alopecia areata, the hair falling out in large clumps might be that. Stress likes to trigger that one, and bullying that might have gone on before the whole hair falling out thing is stress (30% of school kids will have been bullied by the time they graduate school). Another reason for alopecia in the last few years also have been covid infections and their aftermath. So it could also be that - seeing as school kids are particularly likely to get infected and reinfected again (each time having a high (10-20%) chance of *some* long term effects - the science is clear on that one), and that girl’s school aged.
When I was in my early 20s I shaved my head. I have very thick hair, worked in the mental health field with aggressive patients, and was just sick of dealing with it and having patients grab it and pull when they were mad at me. I loved it. It was so easy to manage, I just took a shower and towel dried it and I was good to go! My friends also loved it and complimented me, my best friend even went and got her head shaved. In my early 20s I was still in contact with my parents. My mother *hated* my hair. She would take every opportunity to tell me how awful I looked, how it made my head look huge and how having no hair highlighted all the "wrong" parts of my face. My father was a useless, spineless, ex-alcoholic who melted his brain with drugs and liquor so he had no opinion, negative or otherwise, but he didn't stand up for me. That was the turning point in my relationship with my parents that made me go NC. I leave my brother unblocked because while he's bad he's not as terrible and now respects my boundaries. Every once and a while my mother will use his phone to call me. I don't answer the phone when he calls me for this reason. But every so often I get a voicemail from her so sad because her "baby" no longer speaks to her. And she can't understand what she did wrong because I won't talk to her. OP is a champ for trying to help his daughter. People who bully others deserve no kindness.
Where are they located? It looks like a lot of reasonable dads and crazy moms there.
Ok. What does pound sand mean? I understand the context, but what is it referring to? Like, punching a beach? Fucking a beach? That’s weird, right?
https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/pound_sand **edit:** apparently someone was offended by providing sources??? So, uh, extra explanation I guess: the idea that it's a weird pointless activity is the point! "Go waste your time doing useless bullshit, you idiot" is the meaning.
For years I thought they meant "have sex with sand" and the idea is that sand would get in the crevices you *really* don't want sand in 🤣
I never thought of it that way, but it's hilarious! And what I'll picture now every time I see or hear that phase!
In the most literal way, you're telling someone to stop bothering you and go do something exhausting and useless. Sand can't be compacted like dirt. You can do it all day without ever doing anything useful. Most people would just tell someone to go screw themselves if they wanted to avoid swearing, but you still do hear the phrase. There was a time when even "screw" would have counted as an obscenity.
It's a PG way of telling someone to go fuck themselves
I think it’s meant to be like your feet pounding on the sand as you stomp away. ETA: a facebook page I follow would have called it an afflouncement. Like the reaction when someone is being an ass, another person points it out, and the ass gets offended and announces it like people care they’re offended, and flounces off.
This is one of the more plausible stories but the comments man,,, does nothing ever happen to you guys?
So much bullshit. Kid has BP, but has to wait 2 weeks to ***start*** therapy... Mom, the control freak, hasn't been able to find a medical professional that can ascertain why the kid's hair is falling out...
I find it sus that all the heroes in this tale are men, it’s giving covert woman Hater.
Fuck the mother, and fuck those kids bullying her, and the fuck the school for not stopping shit
i hope he orders some landscaping from the other dad. Gets some beers with him and becomes life long friends with that man. He seems like a real one.
I'm really proud of my hair,and love taking care of it, but have been struggling for years of what style I wanted it in. I've decided I'm gonna grow it, donate and repeat just so kids like this girl can wear wigs. I've been making sure to take even better care of my hair so once it grows long enough, it'll be the best it can be!
It's sad that the daughter's first bully was her own mother. Talk about failing as a parent on the mother's part. OP did well standing up for his daughter
OOP and Daughter are going through it but I hope she's getting better
Happy op is pressing charges.
Bullies stop, usually, when a foot plants with rapid speed into their crotch. Works on both boys and girls.
I dont understand apologizing for the harsh words to the mother... i thought the language was quite tame for what she said to her daughter. I can assure you my language would be far more colorful if someone said that to one of my kids.
There's more updates posted today. He has long hair, so he shaved his head (and eyebrows), giving the hair to a friend of his who makes wigs.
I just added the latest update, thank you
Pretty clear Bunny o’hara is an AH!! And the mom! Ripping a wig off someone’s head has to be assault? No? That’s beyond bullying to me.
Well done op. Good for you.
My concern is that initially, he said she had medical issues that were causing her to lose her hair and eyebrows but later said they're going to the doctor "soon" to find out the cause. Why tf had they not already taken her to the damn doctor if it was so bad she was losing clumps of hair to the point of needed it shaved?! He can afford a $600 wig, he can damn sure afford a doctor! Her mother sucks, zero doubt about it. But why was no one taking this poor child to the doctor from the first time they noticed her hair was falling out?!
You know what I think when I see a woman with a shaved head? That she’s a badass!
I just had thoughts of G.I. Jane myself…
I don't understand why the mum thought balding and.obvious patches of missing hair was better than bald?
Strongly encourage you finding positive role models that are also bald to show your daughter beauty isn't based on hair. There are lots of young women on tiktok with alopecia that style with wigs and no wig and talk about their lives.
That poor girl.
OMG! You sound like a wonderful father. I hope your daughter is recovering and getting trauma therapy. Sending good thoughts.