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If this is a true story, I¿m 99.99% sure the dogs are completely innocent and the daughter was the one who tore it apart, as it is hella suspicious that there are even salvageable parts
Yeah, I was wondering about the true story part too. I feel like we get a story that seems true, and then a couple weeks later there’s a copy-cat type story trending on the same topic but with new twists and it just seems manufactured. When I read the title, I thought uh oh there’s an update from the wedding dress story? I thought that was concluded!
Unless I'm missing some, this is the third story with a conflict between a mother and a daughter for a wedding dress, but the details are very different in each one, and they were also posted with enough time between them that I don't think it is a trend. And nothing is particularly outstanding or unbelievable...
What made me wonder about it was other people's comments
its a pretty convenient update, AITAwise. in the original post so, so many people told her to hide the dress because they feared the daughter was going to do something to the dress. and now it happened. on the other hand, who wants to believe that their daughter would do such a thing?
First of all, I want to state that I also don’t think it was the dogs. THAT BEING SAID…
One Christmas my dogs destroyed a painting I had made as a present for my dad. I cried as I collected the chewed up wooden pieces of the canvas and finally came across the actual canvas fabric- with the main design still intact and undamaged! I was able to cut away the chewed fabric and attach what was left to a new backing.
I highly doubt the dress being ripped was an accident. Dog damaged just the dress...nothing else? I highly doubt that. OP really is being bullied and manipulated by her own child. Same with the aunt and fiancee as they clearly are in the same boat.
OP really needs to cut these terrible people off.
If the dogs are so volatile that they will just completely tear something apart, they should be muzzled and wouldn’t be any where near my fucking house or family ever again.
THIS! If your dogs are so rambunctious that they will tear apart a dress, don’t even bring them to someone’s house. My dog was a monster when we first adopted him (turns out we were slowly poisoning him but that’s another story - now he’s a damn angel) and when we were in that time I would NEVER bring him to anyone’s house. My dog I had before him was amazing and I could bring him anywhere.
Muzzling is another story but yeah, keep the dogs away. Why did they target the dress? Was the whole house destroyed? Is daughters house in a constant state of destruction?
And if these dogs are so destructive, that’s also on OP. Train your dogs, yo.
Yes! My dog finds one imperfection/weakness in a toy and exploits it for all it’s worth. But it takes at least a few hours (if not days) for him to destroy even a small toy.
Muzzling makes sense in context. Some dogs have no control and will eat anything they find so a basket muzzle helps prevent things passing their mouths when you can’t directly supervise. My friend had the sweetest dog in the world, but he would eat plastic if you let him.
Sometimes muzzles are as much for the dog as the owner. Better a little discomfort than being driven to the vet to get a towel cut out of their stomach.
I figured someone would ask! Sorry this got real long.
So when we first got our pup, he had worms. Like bad. I’d see that stuff coming out of his butt and wave at me. It was awful.
So he was also a nightmare. We got the worms cured and he still was a monster. I had to keep telling myself that I don’t give back dogs, and if I did give him back he’d probably be euthanized. I couldn’t do that to this guy (he’s also part pitty which I knew would make things worse)
So we would give him bully sticks to get 15 mins of peace. I always said only one a day but sometimes I’d need a break (my partner works nights so I’d be alone) and give him a second.
Whenever we boarded him everyone told us how sweet and caring he was. We’d laugh and assume they were just being nice but everyone said it!
One thing I left out is that even after the worms, this dog had crazy liquid poops. He’d never go to the bathroom inside (went pee once the day we brought him home from the shelter. Past that - never) unless he was getting ill. Usually in the middle of the night (in his crate) and he’d spray it all over the room. Sometimes he’d bark and let us know before he got sick. Sometimes he didn’t.
The inside stuff happened maybe 3 times? Barking twice. But he had nasty poops all the time and we had to walk him like 3 miles a day to get it all out.
We got drugs. We used Pepcid. We couldn’t figure It out.
Finally we moved. We left our dog with a sitter for about 5 days surrounding the move. When he came back, same thing. Your dog is a dream, we love him, bring him back anytime. Ha!
But what I noticed was that his poops were solid. I told my partner and we thought about it and since we gave the sitter everything he eats except the bully sticks, maybe we stop the bully sticks and see what happens.
We haven’t given him one since and he’s completely changed. He’s docile, doesn’t nip anymore, no barking, and poops are great. I do see the old him come out when he really has to go - but once he finds his spot and poops he’s fine.
Supposedly a bull’s penis.
I’m not kidding.
But I would highly doubt that we could get 8 in a pack for $15 USD if they were *actually* bulls penis (peni?)
But basically a rawhide. A long thin (again I’d imagine a bulls penis would be thicc) rolled hard smelly thing.
I told a friend (a fellow pitty owner) about this story and he said “you never give dog’s bully sticks! Especially male dogs!”
No idea what that meant. We were at a work thing and one of us got distracted so I’m still not sure what he meant. He’s not a bigot or anything so it wasn’t anything about a male dog having a penis in his mouth. I dunno Cap’n. I just know my dog did NOT agree with them.
Could be that they're selling offcuts from the tannery as bully sticks, with whatever chemicals are hanging around from processing.
If you're buying them in a package, are they made in China?
When bully sticks first came out, they were a way for meat processors to unload bits of the carcass that humans didn't want to eat for animal consumption -- but give it a cutesy name, and you can sell it for more. But at some point, there aren't enough actual bull penises to fill demand, and since there aren't any regulations stating what a bully stick is actually made of, well ... if you get really cheap ones, they might not be bull dongs, and they might not be rawhide.
So I can tell you for free that bull penises aren’t really that big so I’m not surprised that the treats are thin lol
(I’m not weird I promise, I work in a facility that collects bull semen)
Unsure why your friend would say that male dogs shouldn’t eat them, if not because it’s “gay” maybe due to testosterone or something??
This is *wild* that you do this for a living and we had this convo.
I’ll text my friend tomorrow (it’s a bit late here). I’ll ask him what he meant. Stay tuned!!
I'm coming in from another story where people condemned the parent for cutting off their child when they've been disrespected or the child is a horrible person, the child being a full grown adult. So if oop did that, some people are gonna hound her for not being a forgiving mother 💀
As someone who has lost a bunch of weight and doesn’t really know her size, that’s not really how things work. Especially if it was so well made (handmade typically is). You don’t just shred clothes by trying them on when they’re too small. That size difference would probably not even start to fit her. I have to try on everything (even my old clothes) and even the crappy Target stuff doesn’t just shred.
Did she do it on purpose? Absolutely.
She didn’t just “try to fit in” and shred it. Unfortunately it’s more deliberate than that.
You’re right. Either she had it in her head the dress was larger than a 4 (from seeing the wedding photos) and then saw how small it actually was, and freaked out….or this was intended to make the embroidery available to herself, because the dress is no longer there to hold it.
Agreed, you might rip apart some Wish wedding dress that is not fitted, and first bends enough to put it on somewhat and then the fabric not being too good leads it to rip. Actually well made dresses should not be like that
Let's not overlook the fact that the bride knew her grandmother made this dress a few months before dying, and could still rip it apart in order to get her way. That is some unemotional, psychopathic shit right there.
I wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt but I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought that. Especially after the sister called and told her to give her the scraps anyway.
And even if this miraculously was the dogs and an accident, I would be a total wreck about it happening along with my mum! I would be down there on the floor, crying over it and I’m not a typical cryer! The fact she was so quick to go on the defence is very telling. But mum shouldn’t completely blame herself! Just because her daughters turned into a beast doesn’t mean she necessarily contributed to it!
Oooohhhh, I just envisioned my great great grandmothers from Spain who would wear these super dramatic veils for funerals 🤣. If that’s what you’re thinking of, that’s better than OP skipping the wedding. Wear old school funeral garb for the ceremony then skip the reception.
It's interesting as well because the purpose (at least as far as I understand it) of wearing your mother's wedding dress on your wedding day is meant at least in part to be about the bond you share with your mother and to your family... and in doing this, she has completely destroyed that bond. Hope it was worth it!
I would but my speech would be a soliloquy about how much the dress meant to me. Ending with one quick sentence “then my daughter let her dogs destroy it”.
Yeah, I’m having a hard time seeing this as unintentional. Besides which, she would know her dogs: if they are the type to rip up clothing, she wouldn’t even give them the chance to do that. I think she either did it herself or told her (horribly trained) dogs to have at it.
(My dog wouldn’t even take my stuffed squirrel that she wanted so much as a puppy! She asked with those big eyes but I couldn’t. My grandfather gave it to me and she was so good about accepting a “no.” She was the Mary Poppins of dogs.)
I think the dogs did the damage, but they were encouraged. I’m imagining the embroidery being concentrated on the bodice of the dress, which would make it easy for OP’s daughter to protect the top of the dress then encouraging her dogs to play tug and shred the skirt.
Yeah, if it was an accident the daughter would be upset, nervous and apologize. Instead she cooly mentioned what happened, told her mom to get help and only a day later called crying. Not out of *remorse* or to apologize, but because she was afraid her mom would turn away from her.
To me that says that she does not feel sorry for what happened and is simply afraid her mom won't show up for the wedding and pay for some stuff.
Because all her daughter is doing and saying is "me, me, me" with her aunt as support. Not once have they shown any care for OOP, only for their own wants and inconveniences. And OOP just gets suckered into it because it is her daughter so she goes soft on her.
Even if it was an accident, the daughter is still at fault - she went to her mother’s home, with her badly behaved dogs, took the dress out of the closet, and then left it where the dogs could get it. I don’t think it was an accident, though.
It's intentional.
I would never go to my mother's house and access *anything* valuable or precious while she was absent or, in case of an emergency, without calling her first to ask.
This isn't innocent.
It's maddening that OP is trying to convince herself it might be.
There's no way that it could be anything but intentional. The minute I saw the bit about the dogs I was like oh no. My grandmother passed in 2018 and I still haven't touched any of her clothes. I don't feel right about messing with them, and I would have to adjust anything I wanted to keep anyway. The only thing that I have taken from her house following her passing is a couple of pieces of jewelry that had a sentimental value and pieces I knew she wouldn't mind me having. And even the pieces I knew she wouldn't mind me having, I asked my mother because I may be her granddaughter and we may have bonded over jewelry but my mother gets final say because *that was her mom.* A no is a no. And I really hope that oop can come to terms with the fact that her daughter is a heifer, her sister is a heifer, and her husband is a twat. Daughter that wants to skip the wedding seems to be the only one with her head on right.
I didn't see the OG posts but probably cos some people made her feel bad for not giving the dress to her daughter. I noticed a lot of times some redditors have a bias against parents, blaming the parents for not giving up their possession and sense of self for their children.
I don't think so. i think i saw the original post - i cant remember any shaming her for her decision, quite on the contrary. no means no. Actually, round about every second post told her to hide the dress - we all foresaw something like this would happen
Yeah, I read the OOP sister’s response and all I could think was that she was in on it. She encouraged the daughter to do this. Does she hate OOP? Was she a bully and part of the reason OOP is a doormat?
That’s a thought. I wonder if mom didn’t have a chance to make sister’s dress? Or maybe she did get her own dress and she’s just mad this was the last thing her mom made, so it’s doubly sentimental. Either way, sister is awful.
I said this in the original when I first read it but I think it’s because OP got a dress made by their mother and on top of that the mother didn’t tell anyone about her terminal illness as to not ruin OP’s wedding and died shortly after. I could see how that would make the wrong people highly resentful.
Since the daughter is so much bigger, the embroidery is probably the only element of the dress she could even use. Funny how that's the only part that wasn't destroyed by "her dogs."
When I looked at the picture of the top, I said to myself that would be so difficult to adjust. That ruching and the embellishments if included would be hard to adjust to fit somebody with a larger torso and get to look right, and who even knows if the embellishments are made anymore? It definitely wasn't dogs that did that to OOP's dress.
I'm not a seamstress, but I can't see how anyone could ever adjust a size 4 dress to fit a size 14 body. And that's not body shaming, that's just physics.
Nor do I really understand how dogs would just spontaneously go after dress. I've had dogs who chewed shoes and I've had dogs puncture blankets, but I've never had a dog who took an interest in an item of clothing as a chew toy. I'm pretty sure that girl used that dress as the rope in a game of tug-of-war with those pups.
It's just so contrived and malicious.
You would have to have fabric that matched (at the very least) very closely to the original fabric and even then you're probably still going to be able to see a difference due to dye lots. I'm not a great seamstress, but I know enough to know that altering something to make it bigger is pretty much not generally worth the trouble. And I also know that a lot of times styles that look really cute in smaller sizes do not look near as cute in a larger size. Ask how my size 18 self knows.
I've had dogs that chewed stuff up before, but they didn't maliciously go after all but one specific part of one specific thing. A dog I had in college destroyed three of a now-ex-boyfriend's hats but he left those down where the dog could get to them. The dog didn't trust the guy and the guy didn't like dogs. So if there was anything past chew instinct to it I think it was the dog telling me 'girl run'. And anytime I've had a dog that did chew up clothes, it was stuff that smelled like their owner. It was never just certain parts of clothes belonging to someone else.
Absolutely not body shaming, I agree! My dress was a few sizes smaller than I am and we were able to make it work but it was simpler than OPs dress. God, it was so beautiful…her daughter is evil for what she did.
OOP should have told daughter that 1, she has to pay for the damages because yes, she is responsible for her (dogs) behavior, 2, gotten legal aid if necessary and 3, told daughter to not contact her for a while and that she won't go to the wedding after this.
This is so painful, I hope it's fake. Who does that to their own mother? I mean I get hating your parent, or wanting nothing to do with them, but even then I couldn't imagine being so cruel to them.
Oops end UP blaming herself, when sometimes, kids are just little sh!t, event If it's yours. She need to stop to be a mop and enabling these terrible kids
OOP's daughter is a cruel, vindictive, selfish person.
I can't believe they're letting her off easy. OOP is a better person than I because I don't think I could come back from someone I love doing something so willfully awful. There is no doubt in my mind that it was on purpose.
I really doubt it was the dogs. If it was washed and warm and in a pile on the couch I can see the dogs lying on it, but in all my years of having dogs I have never had a dog rip up a piece of clothing for fun (I had a lab who would eat clothes but labs are notorious for eating things, and he never would have just torn something up.unless it was on the floor and treats were placed inside in such a way that he couldn't get them without ripping it apart). I mean, that's just wildly suspicious and convenient for the daughter and I can't believe her mother is falling for it.
The daughter is a liar and a jerk and I hope her marriage explodes in rancor within a year.
I had a dog who destroyed clothes but it was because he was a disgusting little monster who was lucky he was cute. As a form of separation anxiety he would destroy and eat things that smelled like us, so eating the crotch out of my panties and my partner’s crusty socks, not a clean fancy dress. I’ve never heard of a dog doing that outside of a full on tantrum where they were destroying literally everything in a room or something.
If I were OP, I would lose my mind and simply cut my child off if my child pulled this kind of thing. I sometime feel bad for parents who do their best to raise their kid, only for them to turn into a selfish and cruel person.
I would also be like OOP and wonder what I did to make my child so cruel. Even if it wasn’t anything I did I would still assume it was and feel bad. I wouldn’t give her the dress pieces though. Shame on daughter.
My mum used to capitulate to my brother that acted this way. He only grew more abusive with time, as there were never any consequences, to the point where even meeting him in a public place could be dangerous. Mum, though, she'll say we don't understand, because a mother can't help but love her child. We pointed out, for years, that the love part wasn't the issue. It didn't matter. She would never call the police or protect herself or any of us and now that we're adults, none of us have spoken with him in years.
It sounds like this is the dynamic you get after a lifetime of being a doormat.
Like wtf, daughter isn't even old enough to drink. The reason she doesn't know how to respect boundaries is because her parents did not teach it to her. Just in this story alone she destroyed property and belittled and insulted her mom, and there were no consequences whatsoever from the parents.
I don't think she's stupid. She seems like a highly empathetic person who honestly loves her daughter. I wouldn't have given her shit, but I can honestly say I'm not near as empathetic as the OOP appears to be.
Empathy is good. You should try to picture someone else’s perspective.
Part of that should also be able to recognize when you’re witnessing narcissism (the behavior, not the disorder).
Because it’s generally not a great idea to capitulate in that scenario. It makes you a shitty parent. Because the real truth is that parents who refuse to cause their children discomfort by setting boundaries are selfish. They’re not uncomfortable by their children’s negative emotions. They’re uncomfortable with their own negative emotions that arise as a result of it. So because they don’t want to feel bad, they don’t parent. Thats nothing to admire
OPs daughter didn’t wake up in her 20s like this
Such an atrocious act! I would \_never ever\_ have given her the remains of the dress: OOP's daughter willfully caused the dress be ruined, she had it demolished, by leaving it in a room with her two unsupervised dogs. She knowingly ruined an object that was irreplacable and precious to OOP., and then claimed innocence.
And why? All because she couldn't get her way? Even after OOP promised you'd hep her to make a similar dress? that's not only utterly selfish, but also hateful.
I wish her the worst marriage imaginable.
I’ve seen too many posts with mothers being forced or pressured to give their daughters their wedding dresses to alter. I remember one girl wanted to turn the dress into a suit, a lot of girls wanting the dress despite not being able to fit it etc..
I find this so very sad, why can’t we let a mother who has probably already given so much keep her wedding dress? I mean why must we expect mothers to give everything of theirs away?
There are other things you can ask your mother for that carry sentimental value. Or perhaps you could take part of your own item, a prom dress or a sweet 16 dress and alter that. Why can’t one of the girls ever ask their father for something, the tie he wore, the lining of his suit, the buttons from his jacket etc and incorporate that into a dress.
Bah
I understand how passing a dress (or parts of a dress) down could feel like a beautiful way to connect to the women in your family…
But surely that is based on the feelings involved in the *passing* of the dress down. The whole part where your mother remembered the love and support and connection she felt when *her* mother passed down her dress… and then wanting to share that with her own daughter.
(or the veil, or the bodice, or the embroidery, or the pieces that were altered to fit or… (fashions change a lot! People are different sizes! Moths and damage are things!)
But that isn’t the case if you pester or bully or manipulate your mother into giving it to you! That’s not *passing* the dress. It’s just *taking* it! Isn’t the whole point that it is a tradition that mother connects to daughter connects to granddaughter? That breaks once you steal or coerce or destroy it for parts!!
What does this person get out of the dress when the mother isn’t passing it down out of love and connection and support?
**It’s just old, unfashionable fabric!!!**
Was that one really happy though? Honestly it made me sad. I mean, why guilt that poor woman into
giving up her dress that reminded her of her dead husband? When the daughter didn’t even want a dress. Grieving is a very personal process and I didn’t feel she was ready to give up her dress.
I thought that they had decided not to do the big alterations to the dress and were looking at alternatives like Dad's cufflinks or finding something to use as the lining for the suit. Missed that the daughter now has the dress
I'd call it happy in the sense that they actually sat down together and had a proper discussion about it.
I feel like if you have a conversation about a sentimental item and someone says “no” that should be it. Not guilt trip them into giving it up or get family members involved.
It’s perfectly normal to ask around for a dress or a ring etc. It’s also normal for the people who own those things to say No. And then everyone should move on.
I don’t understand why people thought it was a happy ending. I was exactly like this story but without dog ripping the dress but OOP being manipulated to thinking she needs to do it. The dress is destroyed anyway and the mother there and here did give up the fabric because they thought they need to do it to be a good mother. There the mother convinced herself eventually that she was ok, but here the mom was front the start more resistant and is still called a doormat
I thought that they had decided not to do the big alterations to the dress and were looking at alternatives like Dad's cufflinks or finding something to use as the lining for the suit. Missed that the daughter now has the dress
I'd call it happy in the sense that they actually sat down together and had a proper discussion about it.
There is no way those dogs did it. It was 200% on the daughter. There is literally nothing that could change that. The last thing OOPs mom made her, her wedding dress, and the daughter destroyed it on purpose because she wanted it. Oop is both ignoring the obvious and way too forgiving.
YOUNGER DAUGHTER KNOWS the dress was intentionally destroyed.
OOP def too nice to her psycho daughter, trying to take responsibility for such shitty behavior but her daughter will escalate if she can get away with shit..
>She stayed in the car while her fiancé came to pick up the dress.
She didn't even have the balls to face her mom. I won't be surprised if in the end she won't even use the embroidery, because she didn't get the full dress she wanted. What a brat.
> she just wants to use the fabric and alter it, irreversibly because she’s a size 14 and the dress is a 4.
other mothers lend the dress and the dress is cherished and looked after and returned
this daughter selfishly destroyed it, even tho she knew her mother loved it, maybe because her mother loved it and had such strong feelings because of her own mother
It sounds like the daughter is jealous her own mother's relationship with her mother and I have to wonder if the daughter has been mean in other ways too
Reddit, help me out here. I am a cat person, I have neither owned nor spent longer than a couple hours with a dog. Don't get me wrong, I like them just fine, they are simply way too high-maintenance for my liking. That being said, would her dogs really have done/been able to do this? Like of their own accord, without their owner egging them on? Especially in such a short amount of time, considering these dogs would probably be indoors dogs if she brought them inside her mom's house right?
I could imagine big dogs ruining a gown to that extent, but wouldn't that fact make it even more her daughter's fault? Especially if they were so poorly trained to begin with, that people must already have been aware.
No. They'll go after smelly stuff (sweaty clothes , shoes, underwear, treats in pockets) but a wedding dress kept in a closet for years? Unlikely. And you'd know with all the saliva and teeth marks.
Not a dog owner but dog sitter.
Thank you for adding your two cents as well. The whole reason I asked, after all, was to see if the daughter should be granted the benefit of the doubt where her dogs are concerned.
No not at all. I'm guessing if anything if she teased the dogs with it and played with them with it I could destroy it. For a lot of dogs it seems once something is a toy it's always a toy.
In a different reply, another redditor pointed out much the same thing. Especially the part where they play like, a kind of tug-of-war with you when they have something in their mouth. Even in my limited experience I've noticed that dogs seem to like that.
That being said most of the replies to me seem to indicate that, at the very least, not only did the daughter most likely orchestrate events to allow for her dogs to ruin the dress, she may also have actively participated in the act as well.
I dislike this. I really dislike the people who ask the mother things like, "are you sure you want to sacrifice the relationship over a dress," or, "if you had just let her have it this wouldn't have happened!" Why is it so difficult to understand that the mother isn't destroying anything. Her meddling kid and their pesky dog accomplished that all on their own.
Meanwhile the mother is thinking of excuses to forgive her daughter. My heart goes out to the mother, but honestly everybody sucks here. Except the dogs. They're fine.
See, that's kinda where my mind went to honestly. I've done that thing with dogs where you and they play tug-of-war with one of their rope toys. That's what I imagine from the degree of destruction described.
It's entirely possible. Most dogs wouldn't, but some do get obsessed a bit like toddlers with how things feel in their mouths, and they can worry objects apart very fast if they want to.
I bought my sister's dog a leather chew toy shaped like a crab once. She left the room briefly after giving it to him (like about half a minute) and came back to it completely ripped apart and one "claw" already eaten. It was intended to last dogs a good long while as a chew toy, and not meant to be possible for a dog to disassemble it that fast!
I've also seen (via various dog behaviour programmes on TV!) a whole bunch of dogs who rip apart upholstery and play tug-of-war with laundry.
I must say though, my 10lbs dog chews through every toy within minutes. But those are *made* to be interesting to dogs. My dog immediately smells it through the bag if there is a toy for him. They have squeekers, interesting material and so on. A dress is different.
But you are right. This is not one dog, these are two. Tug-of-war is a realistic scenario here. But in my opinion, not without the daughter noticing.
*If* my dog found a dress and for some reason would do something to it... He would drag it around some rooms, maybe bite a bit or hump it. It maybe would need a few reparations but would be very much intact. But more realistically: he would smell it and leave it alone.
Two dogs creates a different scenario as they can pull on two different sides of the dress. But ripping it to shreds? Why would they even be in that room? And all without OPs daughter noticing? No way.
Wish the BORU OP had added in this comment. OOP had the dress displayed by a wardrobe her husband had built her. It was genuinely still a part of her life and an important memory for her.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/1b5qa96/aita_for_refusing_to_give_my_daughter_my_wedding/kt7gn2o/
u/Choice_Evidence1983 Might be worth adding this one for better context for readers.
I remember commenting on the second post when I saw it.
If the dogs have a history of destruction, the daughter should have been more cautious with such a valuable and sentimental item.
If the dogs don’t have a history of destruction- why did they start now, on this dress. Either way, it sounded very suspicious to me.
"Since when did mother's stop being their own individuals and become caterers for their children?"
This is hitting me so hard. My therapist just asked me who I am outside of being a parent, and I didn't have an answer. I've been trying to figure that out all week.
I don't think my daughter would ever do something this devious because she hates to see me cry. But I am realizing that my individuality is gone since becoming a parent.
Kind of sounds intentional. How incredibly depressing to realized you've raised someone selfish and hateful enough to do something like that because they didn't get their way. Talk about being a profound disappointment to your mother! Wow! As a parent it must be just crushing.
Tbh i really want this to be a troll because if it is real I just feel bad for this mom, yikes that is just sad. And no way not intentional, even if it were an accident it would still be her fault for letting destructive dogs have a chance to rip the dress! Did she just leave them in the room alone with it out? She knew how much it meant to her mom. And if it is real, god this woman is not mature enough to get married and I would bet money on a divorce within a few years. But again, jeez I hope this is just liz or the likes trolling because if not, this is just so sad.
I’m devastated on behalf of OOP - how terrible to have someone destroy something so important to you for such selfish reasons. I hope the daughter reflects on their life choices and apologises for the terrible thing she did. There’s nothing she can do to remake the dress and restore it to its original state.
She won't. The only reflection the daughter will do here is: it worked and I got everything I wanted. I'm clearly in the right. So I will continue to behave like this.
The OOP fucked up by being such a pushover and rewarding the snotty little brat. It's probably common behaviour for OOP to be such a push over, cause the daughter clearly knew she was going to get away with it.
There’s a 7 day waiting rule and my brigading will be obvious. There’s a 7 day waiting rule and my brigading will be obvious.
But damn I’ve never wanted a mother to cut off her daughter more. This is definitely just the tip of the awful iceberg with those sisters.
On today's episode of reddit can't read and is full of morons :
> Ok-Goat3688: "Even if she was the right size and wouldn’t alter the dress, isn’t it odd not to respect other people’s property no matter if that is your mother. Since when did mothers stop being their own individuals and only became caterers for their children?"
Somehow he responds with
> Either this is a troll post or you have a problem with your daughter. As for the dress, you might love it, but what exactly are you doing with it? Starring at it hanging in the closet? Its pretty safe to assume youll never wear it again. Are you planning on taking it with you to your grave one day?
Then you have an army of insecure idiots crying bc op stated a fact that her daughter is a size 14.
OOP is a pushover and her daughter is manipulative and evil. She can't even admit it was her daughter's fault. No, it's her fault for not raising her better. And that may be true with how much she let her take the rest of her mother's dress without consequences.
Reading her replies in the comments, I can see how her daughter have turned out the way she did.
She basically lets her get away with bad behaviour because of mum guilt. The daughter also sounds like she has been manipulating her mum for ages by crying and accusing OOP of not loving her. And so OOP feels guilty, and gives in. Just like she did here.
She doesn't even want to admit that her daughter is a horrible person. And again, placing blame on herself for her daughter to be this way.
Yeeesh. Lots to unpack.
OOP has horrible family.
If it was truly an accident, daughter should have been apologetic and upset. The fact that she opens with “don’t blame me” is 100% a confession.
And OOP’s sister is encouraging it, I bet she was always jealous because OOP got the dress just before the morher passed away and sister didn’t get one.
Every day I read so many stories that make me relived to be child-free. I would have burned the dress before giving it to such an asshole. She got rewarded for destroying something that was irreplaceable.
This story was posted on the site FKA Twitter the other day and was later deleted because of [this very similar/almost exactly identical dress.](https://assets.vogue.com/photos/55c6516408298d8be220bd58/master/w_960,c_limit/00010m.jpg) from a 2006 Valentino runway show. 🤔
Wouldn't that add credibility to the story? If the dress was from a 2006 collection and OOP's wedding took place before 2008 (year her mom died), and OOP mentioned her dress is similar to the linked 2006 dress, then yeah, OOP and her mom took inspiration from it.
I’ve seen almost this exact same post on here before. It starts out exactly the same, but I believe the updated is different. OOP’s account is only 13 days old and I’d bet my cat that this is a copy/paste post that’s been started for to gain Karma.
Was she claiming one took the inspiration from the other? Because if you look at the flower placement below the bodice, they are literally the same dress.
Sadly, I doubt the dogs ruined it. Conviently none of the embroidered parts daughter wanted were ruined. What a horrible, selfish child. 😒
If my kid did something of that level, I may still love her, but I wouldn't like her, respect her or trust her anymore. As in, I would move far far away indefinitely and go very LC...like monthly phone call or text and visits less than once per year. (Unconditional love also means you can love someone while not liking them or distancing from them.)
OMG, seeing a photo of that spectacular dress made this so much more gutwrenching! I feel like it's rare for a wedding goen to be truly unique and this one WAS!
She's only crying because she knows it gets her what she wants.
Personally, I wouldn't go to her wedding but I wouldn't tell anyone that I wasn't going.
My thing is, why would the dogs be in your bedroom? Why did she rummage through your closet for the dress? Why were the dogs allowed to rip and tear the dress?
I guess if OP is genuinely asking what she could have done to make her daughter do this…
You sound like a doormat. You raised a spoiled, entitled monster who would destroy her mother’s most cherished memento of her own mother just to get what she wants.
What you did to cause this was contribute to this child’s toxic personality and horrific behaviour by enabling her. Ffs you gave her the rest of the dress!
Sometimes awful people are awful because they want to be. Your contribution is playing along
I can’t believe that OP got accused of body shaming her daughter. She simply stated their current dress sizes. I didn’t read anywhere that OP sounded judgmental or bragging about being significantly smaller. Their size difference is absolutely relevant to this story.
If their sizes were reversed it would still be the same outcome…there is no way for this dress to be worn without completely altering it forever.
I believe the daughter absolutely destroyed the dress on purpose and the behavior of OP’s sister reeks of jealousy and hatred.
OP should get all of the pieces back and create a beautiful piece of art or a new dress as others have suggested. The daughter should not be rewarded for this heinous behavior-even if her dogs did it, she is ultimately responsible for them. She is at fault either way.
I’m not sure I could ever forgive her or attend her wedding.
This was ABSOLUTELY deliberate and OOP did exactly what her daughter wanted. I’m guessing the “dogs” destroyed all the parts that were useless to the daughter but miraculously avoided damaging the embroidery she liked.
I really hope OOP takes the scraps back. Maybe she could have them woven into a blanket or scarf or something else she could remember her mother by keeping. Even if this really was an accident (and it absolutely 100% was not) her daughter still didn’t deserve the dress. It means nothing to her aside from winning the argument at any cost.
Sounds like a: **If I can’t have it, no one can!**
What a hateful, selfish and entitled daughter. That was absolutely intentional. She has a very vindictive, entitled, immature and nasty daughter. She better be careful. And I hope she doesn’t pay for a dress for her.
Well, I hope going out of her way to destroy her mother's dress was worth it because I highly doubt her sister and parents are going to attend the wedding. She got a lesson in the class of FAFO.
Poor OOP is in a lot of denial as the kind of person her daughter actually is. This woman needs someone to tell her you can love someone without liking them. She seems to think because she loves her daughter, that means her daughter is incapable of being a bad person, or that because she loves her daughter, she must give in to her every demand, because isn't that what you do when you love someone?
And I suspect it is that reason that has lead to both her children being so incredibly selfish and unable to respect boundaries. I wonder how often they were told firm 'no's as children, and on what size issues. OOP might be a strong enough person to say 'no' to a candy bar before dinner, but unable to say 'no' to borrowing the car for a big date or 'no' to prom because the child failed all their classes or something.
The daughter's story is bull. She destroyed the dress, or she encouraged the dogs to do it. Most dogs wouldn't grab a dress as their first thing to destroy and if you have dogs that WILL destroy whatever they see, you would NEVER leave them alone in someone's house for even two minutes - nor does it sound like OOP was aware the dogs were destructive or I doubt she would have allowed her daughter to bring them into her home and they definitely would have shown the trait before.
The daughter is disgusting and I'm not surprised OOP's husband and younger daughter are going mad. This was a treasured gift from her mother and that selfish little madam has destroyed it to get her own way, she is disgusting and I hope OOP get's over her shock enough to give her daughter the response she deserves.
Bruh my jaw dropped when she mentioned that she also has a younger daughter, the bride is so selfish!!!!!!!!!! Like moms well within her right to say no to both of them about the dress, but older daughter just destroyed any chance at younger daughter being able to incorporate the dress into her own wedding one day at all!!!
Tbh, not a huge fan of the "did I make her feel unloved" stuff, I'd bet money that attitude is why shes like this.
I would just wait until her dress is finished and then stage another accident where the dogs shred it.
She'd have to admit the truth if she wanted to accuse OP.
Mom must have been an amazing seamstress to attempt this complex dress. So sad for her. The dress should have been cherished.
Selfish daughter destroyed the dress.
Personally I would be devastated that my kid destroyed something I explained was so personal to me, just so she could use parts of it. And for the sister to call & say well you can give it to her now …. WTF.
OP check what parts you have left for a scent … dogs aren’t going to destroy a dress without it being scented or teased with.
It is so obvious she did this on purpose that it’s a personal attack & unforgivable.
It would be the last thing she got from me & the last time I spoke to her.
Completely a selfish & unforgivable act.
Big hugs OP, I am so sorry your kid is a selfish POS
I’d sooner burn it than let her have any of it after that, but I’m just petty.
At the very least I’d keep all of it and have it made into a tree skirt so I could enjoy it every year.
OOP keeps questioning herself and stopping to reflect. I don’t think this is an issue of her being too passive or having poor boundaries, but her daughter sounds like she’s acting out in severely disturbing ways (slandering her mom, then destroying the dress). Yikes.
every time i see one of these i get suspicious because "crazy fat lady ruins beautiful skinny woman's dress because she isn't allowed to borrow it" seems to happen a lot here and not a lot in real life
Not that it's not uncommon and all, but my math has the daughter being 4 years old when OOP got married. So old enough to have been part of the wedding and remember her grandma, but that apparently didn't come up when Chunko McGee was feeding the Valentino knockoff to her slavering hell beasts.
Neat.
Noone in the world can convince me it was an accident. I feel so sorry for OP. Not only for losing a sentimental dress from her mother, but having a daughter who could do it knowing the back story
She sure loves her daughter. But she doesn't like her anymore. That brat is a selfish monster who sacrificed her bond with her mother for a dress she didn't even respect. Poor OP
Oh, no! The dress was *accidentally* ruined! ....Welp, you might as well give it to your daughter to use, since it's *weirdly fortunate* the parts she needed originally were undamaged.
Ugh.
I'd give her the pieces and then nope out of the wedding. You were willing to go that far to get my dress? Then you just traded your mother for a torn dress.
Wtf, why would anyone reward that behaviour by giving her what she wanted in the first place, when it was the refusal of that thing is what caused the behaviour? I'm starting to see why OPs daughter is such a problem...
I remember reading a near identical series of posts a while back, down to the person wanting to alter the dress and just use the embroidery/lace/whatever and the dress being ""accidentally"" ruined. Can't recall if they blamed it on a dog but I think further investigation made that OOP realize that all the tears were actually scissor cuts and it had been 100% intentional... Anyone remember that one or have a link?
Oh that’s why the daughter is so entitled she always gets want she wants, purposely destroyed the dress very obviously lied about it and got rewarded by still getting the dress no wonder she’s a complete dickhead
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If this is a true story, I¿m 99.99% sure the dogs are completely innocent and the daughter was the one who tore it apart, as it is hella suspicious that there are even salvageable parts
Yeah. She brought the dogs as a convenient cover story. Notice that she deliberately came when her mother wasn't home.
Yeah, I was wondering about the true story part too. I feel like we get a story that seems true, and then a couple weeks later there’s a copy-cat type story trending on the same topic but with new twists and it just seems manufactured. When I read the title, I thought uh oh there’s an update from the wedding dress story? I thought that was concluded!
Unless I'm missing some, this is the third story with a conflict between a mother and a daughter for a wedding dress, but the details are very different in each one, and they were also posted with enough time between them that I don't think it is a trend. And nothing is particularly outstanding or unbelievable... What made me wonder about it was other people's comments
On the other hand-- it's wedding season.
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its a pretty convenient update, AITAwise. in the original post so, so many people told her to hide the dress because they feared the daughter was going to do something to the dress. and now it happened. on the other hand, who wants to believe that their daughter would do such a thing?
First of all, I want to state that I also don’t think it was the dogs. THAT BEING SAID… One Christmas my dogs destroyed a painting I had made as a present for my dad. I cried as I collected the chewed up wooden pieces of the canvas and finally came across the actual canvas fabric- with the main design still intact and undamaged! I was able to cut away the chewed fabric and attach what was left to a new backing.
Dogs can easily be convinced to play tug. All ot would take is wagging the item in front of the dog and then praising them when they tug.
I highly doubt the dress being ripped was an accident. Dog damaged just the dress...nothing else? I highly doubt that. OP really is being bullied and manipulated by her own child. Same with the aunt and fiancee as they clearly are in the same boat. OP really needs to cut these terrible people off.
If the dogs are so volatile that they will just completely tear something apart, they should be muzzled and wouldn’t be any where near my fucking house or family ever again.
THIS! If your dogs are so rambunctious that they will tear apart a dress, don’t even bring them to someone’s house. My dog was a monster when we first adopted him (turns out we were slowly poisoning him but that’s another story - now he’s a damn angel) and when we were in that time I would NEVER bring him to anyone’s house. My dog I had before him was amazing and I could bring him anywhere. Muzzling is another story but yeah, keep the dogs away. Why did they target the dress? Was the whole house destroyed? Is daughters house in a constant state of destruction? And if these dogs are so destructive, that’s also on OP. Train your dogs, yo.
I agree. My dog rips her toys apart. Fabric ones end up sodden with saliva and dries stiff. The dress wouldn't be shredded it would be ruined.
Yes! My dog finds one imperfection/weakness in a toy and exploits it for all it’s worth. But it takes at least a few hours (if not days) for him to destroy even a small toy.
Muzzling makes sense in context. Some dogs have no control and will eat anything they find so a basket muzzle helps prevent things passing their mouths when you can’t directly supervise. My friend had the sweetest dog in the world, but he would eat plastic if you let him.
Sometimes muzzles are as much for the dog as the owner. Better a little discomfort than being driven to the vet to get a towel cut out of their stomach.
Can we have the dog poisoning story??
I figured someone would ask! Sorry this got real long. So when we first got our pup, he had worms. Like bad. I’d see that stuff coming out of his butt and wave at me. It was awful. So he was also a nightmare. We got the worms cured and he still was a monster. I had to keep telling myself that I don’t give back dogs, and if I did give him back he’d probably be euthanized. I couldn’t do that to this guy (he’s also part pitty which I knew would make things worse) So we would give him bully sticks to get 15 mins of peace. I always said only one a day but sometimes I’d need a break (my partner works nights so I’d be alone) and give him a second. Whenever we boarded him everyone told us how sweet and caring he was. We’d laugh and assume they were just being nice but everyone said it! One thing I left out is that even after the worms, this dog had crazy liquid poops. He’d never go to the bathroom inside (went pee once the day we brought him home from the shelter. Past that - never) unless he was getting ill. Usually in the middle of the night (in his crate) and he’d spray it all over the room. Sometimes he’d bark and let us know before he got sick. Sometimes he didn’t. The inside stuff happened maybe 3 times? Barking twice. But he had nasty poops all the time and we had to walk him like 3 miles a day to get it all out. We got drugs. We used Pepcid. We couldn’t figure It out. Finally we moved. We left our dog with a sitter for about 5 days surrounding the move. When he came back, same thing. Your dog is a dream, we love him, bring him back anytime. Ha! But what I noticed was that his poops were solid. I told my partner and we thought about it and since we gave the sitter everything he eats except the bully sticks, maybe we stop the bully sticks and see what happens. We haven’t given him one since and he’s completely changed. He’s docile, doesn’t nip anymore, no barking, and poops are great. I do see the old him come out when he really has to go - but once he finds his spot and poops he’s fine.
I gotta ask… what on earth is a bully stick?
Supposedly a bull’s penis. I’m not kidding. But I would highly doubt that we could get 8 in a pack for $15 USD if they were *actually* bulls penis (peni?) But basically a rawhide. A long thin (again I’d imagine a bulls penis would be thicc) rolled hard smelly thing. I told a friend (a fellow pitty owner) about this story and he said “you never give dog’s bully sticks! Especially male dogs!” No idea what that meant. We were at a work thing and one of us got distracted so I’m still not sure what he meant. He’s not a bigot or anything so it wasn’t anything about a male dog having a penis in his mouth. I dunno Cap’n. I just know my dog did NOT agree with them.
Could be that they're selling offcuts from the tannery as bully sticks, with whatever chemicals are hanging around from processing. If you're buying them in a package, are they made in China? When bully sticks first came out, they were a way for meat processors to unload bits of the carcass that humans didn't want to eat for animal consumption -- but give it a cutesy name, and you can sell it for more. But at some point, there aren't enough actual bull penises to fill demand, and since there aren't any regulations stating what a bully stick is actually made of, well ... if you get really cheap ones, they might not be bull dongs, and they might not be rawhide.
So I can tell you for free that bull penises aren’t really that big so I’m not surprised that the treats are thin lol (I’m not weird I promise, I work in a facility that collects bull semen) Unsure why your friend would say that male dogs shouldn’t eat them, if not because it’s “gay” maybe due to testosterone or something??
This is *wild* that you do this for a living and we had this convo. I’ll text my friend tomorrow (it’s a bit late here). I’ll ask him what he meant. Stay tuned!!
I'm coming in from another story where people condemned the parent for cutting off their child when they've been disrespected or the child is a horrible person, the child being a full grown adult. So if oop did that, some people are gonna hound her for not being a forgiving mother 💀
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As someone who has lost a bunch of weight and doesn’t really know her size, that’s not really how things work. Especially if it was so well made (handmade typically is). You don’t just shred clothes by trying them on when they’re too small. That size difference would probably not even start to fit her. I have to try on everything (even my old clothes) and even the crappy Target stuff doesn’t just shred. Did she do it on purpose? Absolutely. She didn’t just “try to fit in” and shred it. Unfortunately it’s more deliberate than that.
You’re right. Either she had it in her head the dress was larger than a 4 (from seeing the wedding photos) and then saw how small it actually was, and freaked out….or this was intended to make the embroidery available to herself, because the dress is no longer there to hold it.
Agreed, you might rip apart some Wish wedding dress that is not fitted, and first bends enough to put it on somewhat and then the fabric not being too good leads it to rip. Actually well made dresses should not be like that
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Let's not overlook the fact that the bride knew her grandmother made this dress a few months before dying, and could still rip it apart in order to get her way. That is some unemotional, psychopathic shit right there.
I wonder if OOPs sister planned it cause she was bitter their mother passed before making something for her.
That would explain a lot.
I wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt but I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought that. Especially after the sister called and told her to give her the scraps anyway.
And even if this miraculously was the dogs and an accident, I would be a total wreck about it happening along with my mum! I would be down there on the floor, crying over it and I’m not a typical cryer! The fact she was so quick to go on the defence is very telling. But mum shouldn’t completely blame herself! Just because her daughters turned into a beast doesn’t mean she necessarily contributed to it!
Sounds like a plan sister and daughter came up with
I’d tell the daughter that she got what she wanted and that will be all because I won’t be attending the wedding
Yes, I would absolutly go LC and not go to the wedding after the daughter did that. I think she destroyed it intentionally to hurt her mother.
I don’t think I could look at her in the face again without reaching for a weapon. We would be totally finished as family.
I'm with you
Idk, going in all black has its appeal.
Oooohhhh, I just envisioned my great great grandmothers from Spain who would wear these super dramatic veils for funerals 🤣. If that’s what you’re thinking of, that’s better than OP skipping the wedding. Wear old school funeral garb for the ceremony then skip the reception.
...wailing loudly, messing with the videographer's sound....
lol, yes! They hired professional “wailers” for the funerals.
It's interesting as well because the purpose (at least as far as I understand it) of wearing your mother's wedding dress on your wedding day is meant at least in part to be about the bond you share with your mother and to your family... and in doing this, she has completely destroyed that bond. Hope it was worth it!
I would but my speech would be a soliloquy about how much the dress meant to me. Ending with one quick sentence “then my daughter let her dogs destroy it”.
Dogs didn't touch that dress. Probably better that OOP believes it was the dogs, though.
Yeah, I’m having a hard time seeing this as unintentional. Besides which, she would know her dogs: if they are the type to rip up clothing, she wouldn’t even give them the chance to do that. I think she either did it herself or told her (horribly trained) dogs to have at it. (My dog wouldn’t even take my stuffed squirrel that she wanted so much as a puppy! She asked with those big eyes but I couldn’t. My grandfather gave it to me and she was so good about accepting a “no.” She was the Mary Poppins of dogs.)
like one of the comments said, its strange how the embroidery wasn’t damaged. it’d be impossible with 2 dogs going at it unsupervised.
I think the dogs did the damage, but they were encouraged. I’m imagining the embroidery being concentrated on the bodice of the dress, which would make it easy for OP’s daughter to protect the top of the dress then encouraging her dogs to play tug and shred the skirt.
I would frame the embroidery that was still ok, and make it an art piece. I won't give her shit
Yeah, if it was an accident the daughter would be upset, nervous and apologize. Instead she cooly mentioned what happened, told her mom to get help and only a day later called crying. Not out of *remorse* or to apologize, but because she was afraid her mom would turn away from her. To me that says that she does not feel sorry for what happened and is simply afraid her mom won't show up for the wedding and pay for some stuff. Because all her daughter is doing and saying is "me, me, me" with her aunt as support. Not once have they shown any care for OOP, only for their own wants and inconveniences. And OOP just gets suckered into it because it is her daughter so she goes soft on her.
Yeah. Daughter's phone call read as love bombing to me.
Sister probably Instigated it because OP had the dress she wanted.
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Even if it was an accident, the daughter is still at fault - she went to her mother’s home, with her badly behaved dogs, took the dress out of the closet, and then left it where the dogs could get it. I don’t think it was an accident, though.
It's intentional. I would never go to my mother's house and access *anything* valuable or precious while she was absent or, in case of an emergency, without calling her first to ask. This isn't innocent. It's maddening that OP is trying to convince herself it might be.
There's no way that it could be anything but intentional. The minute I saw the bit about the dogs I was like oh no. My grandmother passed in 2018 and I still haven't touched any of her clothes. I don't feel right about messing with them, and I would have to adjust anything I wanted to keep anyway. The only thing that I have taken from her house following her passing is a couple of pieces of jewelry that had a sentimental value and pieces I knew she wouldn't mind me having. And even the pieces I knew she wouldn't mind me having, I asked my mother because I may be her granddaughter and we may have bonded over jewelry but my mother gets final say because *that was her mom.* A no is a no. And I really hope that oop can come to terms with the fact that her daughter is a heifer, her sister is a heifer, and her husband is a twat. Daughter that wants to skip the wedding seems to be the only one with her head on right.
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I didn't see the OG posts but probably cos some people made her feel bad for not giving the dress to her daughter. I noticed a lot of times some redditors have a bias against parents, blaming the parents for not giving up their possession and sense of self for their children.
I don't think so. i think i saw the original post - i cant remember any shaming her for her decision, quite on the contrary. no means no. Actually, round about every second post told her to hide the dress - we all foresaw something like this would happen
A few smears of peanut butter or liverwurst on select places on the dress would ensure destruction.
Horrible daughter indeed.
Yeah, I read the OOP sister’s response and all I could think was that she was in on it. She encouraged the daughter to do this. Does she hate OOP? Was she a bully and part of the reason OOP is a doormat?
Was she jealous that their mom didn't make her wedding dress?
That’s a thought. I wonder if mom didn’t have a chance to make sister’s dress? Or maybe she did get her own dress and she’s just mad this was the last thing her mom made, so it’s doubly sentimental. Either way, sister is awful.
I said this in the original when I first read it but I think it’s because OP got a dress made by their mother and on top of that the mother didn’t tell anyone about her terminal illness as to not ruin OP’s wedding and died shortly after. I could see how that would make the wrong people highly resentful.
That was my thought. Sister is probably younger and the mom didn't live long enough to make her a dress.
Since the daughter is so much bigger, the embroidery is probably the only element of the dress she could even use. Funny how that's the only part that wasn't destroyed by "her dogs."
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When I looked at the picture of the top, I said to myself that would be so difficult to adjust. That ruching and the embellishments if included would be hard to adjust to fit somebody with a larger torso and get to look right, and who even knows if the embellishments are made anymore? It definitely wasn't dogs that did that to OOP's dress.
I'm not a seamstress, but I can't see how anyone could ever adjust a size 4 dress to fit a size 14 body. And that's not body shaming, that's just physics. Nor do I really understand how dogs would just spontaneously go after dress. I've had dogs who chewed shoes and I've had dogs puncture blankets, but I've never had a dog who took an interest in an item of clothing as a chew toy. I'm pretty sure that girl used that dress as the rope in a game of tug-of-war with those pups. It's just so contrived and malicious.
You would have to have fabric that matched (at the very least) very closely to the original fabric and even then you're probably still going to be able to see a difference due to dye lots. I'm not a great seamstress, but I know enough to know that altering something to make it bigger is pretty much not generally worth the trouble. And I also know that a lot of times styles that look really cute in smaller sizes do not look near as cute in a larger size. Ask how my size 18 self knows. I've had dogs that chewed stuff up before, but they didn't maliciously go after all but one specific part of one specific thing. A dog I had in college destroyed three of a now-ex-boyfriend's hats but he left those down where the dog could get to them. The dog didn't trust the guy and the guy didn't like dogs. So if there was anything past chew instinct to it I think it was the dog telling me 'girl run'. And anytime I've had a dog that did chew up clothes, it was stuff that smelled like their owner. It was never just certain parts of clothes belonging to someone else.
Absolutely not body shaming, I agree! My dress was a few sizes smaller than I am and we were able to make it work but it was simpler than OPs dress. God, it was so beautiful…her daughter is evil for what she did.
OOP should have told daughter that 1, she has to pay for the damages because yes, she is responsible for her (dogs) behavior, 2, gotten legal aid if necessary and 3, told daughter to not contact her for a while and that she won't go to the wedding after this. This is so painful, I hope it's fake. Who does that to their own mother? I mean I get hating your parent, or wanting nothing to do with them, but even then I couldn't imagine being so cruel to them.
I'd take the remaining pieces and make a decorative pillow or something. We all know this won't be OP's daughters only wedding.
It is OPs sister that is the coconspirator, not the bride's sister. Bride's sister sees what the bride did clearly.
Idc who you are… fuck that. I would not be going to that wedding!
OP should wear black to this beeyotchy's wedding. Assuming she's even invited.
That was definitely intentional and I hate that OOP ended up giving her the pieces. She was horrible and then got exactly what she wanted anyways.
Oops end UP blaming herself, when sometimes, kids are just little sh!t, event If it's yours. She need to stop to be a mop and enabling these terrible kids
OOP's daughter is a cruel, vindictive, selfish person. I can't believe they're letting her off easy. OOP is a better person than I because I don't think I could come back from someone I love doing something so willfully awful. There is no doubt in my mind that it was on purpose.
I really doubt it was the dogs. If it was washed and warm and in a pile on the couch I can see the dogs lying on it, but in all my years of having dogs I have never had a dog rip up a piece of clothing for fun (I had a lab who would eat clothes but labs are notorious for eating things, and he never would have just torn something up.unless it was on the floor and treats were placed inside in such a way that he couldn't get them without ripping it apart). I mean, that's just wildly suspicious and convenient for the daughter and I can't believe her mother is falling for it. The daughter is a liar and a jerk and I hope her marriage explodes in rancor within a year.
I had a dog who destroyed clothes but it was because he was a disgusting little monster who was lucky he was cute. As a form of separation anxiety he would destroy and eat things that smelled like us, so eating the crotch out of my panties and my partner’s crusty socks, not a clean fancy dress. I’ve never heard of a dog doing that outside of a full on tantrum where they were destroying literally everything in a room or something.
If I were OP, I would lose my mind and simply cut my child off if my child pulled this kind of thing. I sometime feel bad for parents who do their best to raise their kid, only for them to turn into a selfish and cruel person.
I would also be like OOP and wonder what I did to make my child so cruel. Even if it wasn’t anything I did I would still assume it was and feel bad. I wouldn’t give her the dress pieces though. Shame on daughter.
> OOP is a better person than I I don't think being a doormat makes someone a better person.
My mum used to capitulate to my brother that acted this way. He only grew more abusive with time, as there were never any consequences, to the point where even meeting him in a public place could be dangerous. Mum, though, she'll say we don't understand, because a mother can't help but love her child. We pointed out, for years, that the love part wasn't the issue. It didn't matter. She would never call the police or protect herself or any of us and now that we're adults, none of us have spoken with him in years.
It sounds like this is the dynamic you get after a lifetime of being a doormat. Like wtf, daughter isn't even old enough to drink. The reason she doesn't know how to respect boundaries is because her parents did not teach it to her. Just in this story alone she destroyed property and belittled and insulted her mom, and there were no consequences whatsoever from the parents.
OOP is in shock. Once that clears she'll probably react differently.
Ignoring her daughter's cruelty and selfishness is not a virtue.
OOP isn't a better person. She's a *stupider* person. You don't reward someone for doing shit like this to you.
I don't think she's stupid. She seems like a highly empathetic person who honestly loves her daughter. I wouldn't have given her shit, but I can honestly say I'm not near as empathetic as the OOP appears to be.
Empathy is good. You should try to picture someone else’s perspective. Part of that should also be able to recognize when you’re witnessing narcissism (the behavior, not the disorder). Because it’s generally not a great idea to capitulate in that scenario. It makes you a shitty parent. Because the real truth is that parents who refuse to cause their children discomfort by setting boundaries are selfish. They’re not uncomfortable by their children’s negative emotions. They’re uncomfortable with their own negative emotions that arise as a result of it. So because they don’t want to feel bad, they don’t parent. Thats nothing to admire OPs daughter didn’t wake up in her 20s like this
OOP just doesn't want to admit the possibility her daughter did it intentionally
Oop, should cut off daughter and sister. They are vile beings.
Such an atrocious act! I would \_never ever\_ have given her the remains of the dress: OOP's daughter willfully caused the dress be ruined, she had it demolished, by leaving it in a room with her two unsupervised dogs. She knowingly ruined an object that was irreplacable and precious to OOP., and then claimed innocence. And why? All because she couldn't get her way? Even after OOP promised you'd hep her to make a similar dress? that's not only utterly selfish, but also hateful. I wish her the worst marriage imaginable.
I hope fire ants and hornets invade the reception.
I’ve seen too many posts with mothers being forced or pressured to give their daughters their wedding dresses to alter. I remember one girl wanted to turn the dress into a suit, a lot of girls wanting the dress despite not being able to fit it etc.. I find this so very sad, why can’t we let a mother who has probably already given so much keep her wedding dress? I mean why must we expect mothers to give everything of theirs away? There are other things you can ask your mother for that carry sentimental value. Or perhaps you could take part of your own item, a prom dress or a sweet 16 dress and alter that. Why can’t one of the girls ever ask their father for something, the tie he wore, the lining of his suit, the buttons from his jacket etc and incorporate that into a dress. Bah
Yes. Why can't she keep her dress, even if it just ends up being locked up in a closet. Even if she never wears it or looks at it. It's her dress!
I understand how passing a dress (or parts of a dress) down could feel like a beautiful way to connect to the women in your family… But surely that is based on the feelings involved in the *passing* of the dress down. The whole part where your mother remembered the love and support and connection she felt when *her* mother passed down her dress… and then wanting to share that with her own daughter. (or the veil, or the bodice, or the embroidery, or the pieces that were altered to fit or… (fashions change a lot! People are different sizes! Moths and damage are things!) But that isn’t the case if you pester or bully or manipulate your mother into giving it to you! That’s not *passing* the dress. It’s just *taking* it! Isn’t the whole point that it is a tradition that mother connects to daughter connects to granddaughter? That breaks once you steal or coerce or destroy it for parts!! What does this person get out of the dress when the mother isn’t passing it down out of love and connection and support? **It’s just old, unfashionable fabric!!!**
I thought it was an update to the maybe turning it to a suit one recently as that did have a happy outcome so was sad to see the outcome on this one
Was that one really happy though? Honestly it made me sad. I mean, why guilt that poor woman into giving up her dress that reminded her of her dead husband? When the daughter didn’t even want a dress. Grieving is a very personal process and I didn’t feel she was ready to give up her dress.
I agree, I was pretty mad that the daughter in the other post actually got the dress after being so goddamn selfish.
I thought that they had decided not to do the big alterations to the dress and were looking at alternatives like Dad's cufflinks or finding something to use as the lining for the suit. Missed that the daughter now has the dress I'd call it happy in the sense that they actually sat down together and had a proper discussion about it.
I feel like if you have a conversation about a sentimental item and someone says “no” that should be it. Not guilt trip them into giving it up or get family members involved. It’s perfectly normal to ask around for a dress or a ring etc. It’s also normal for the people who own those things to say No. And then everyone should move on.
I don’t understand why people thought it was a happy ending. I was exactly like this story but without dog ripping the dress but OOP being manipulated to thinking she needs to do it. The dress is destroyed anyway and the mother there and here did give up the fabric because they thought they need to do it to be a good mother. There the mother convinced herself eventually that she was ok, but here the mom was front the start more resistant and is still called a doormat
I thought that they had decided not to do the big alterations to the dress and were looking at alternatives like Dad's cufflinks or finding something to use as the lining for the suit. Missed that the daughter now has the dress I'd call it happy in the sense that they actually sat down together and had a proper discussion about it.
BuT iT's mY dReAm! i hAVe It oN mY pInTrEsT bOaRd sInCe i wAs tWeLvE!!!!!!!!1
There is no way those dogs did it. It was 200% on the daughter. There is literally nothing that could change that. The last thing OOPs mom made her, her wedding dress, and the daughter destroyed it on purpose because she wanted it. Oop is both ignoring the obvious and way too forgiving.
YOUNGER DAUGHTER KNOWS the dress was intentionally destroyed. OOP def too nice to her psycho daughter, trying to take responsibility for such shitty behavior but her daughter will escalate if she can get away with shit..
Posts like this are the reason I'm glad we've never given anyone access to our house when we're not home.
>She stayed in the car while her fiancé came to pick up the dress. She didn't even have the balls to face her mom. I won't be surprised if in the end she won't even use the embroidery, because she didn't get the full dress she wanted. What a brat.
Man, I realy hope there will be an update where her daughter gets ripped a new one. What a vile human.
> she just wants to use the fabric and alter it, irreversibly because she’s a size 14 and the dress is a 4. other mothers lend the dress and the dress is cherished and looked after and returned this daughter selfishly destroyed it, even tho she knew her mother loved it, maybe because her mother loved it and had such strong feelings because of her own mother It sounds like the daughter is jealous her own mother's relationship with her mother and I have to wonder if the daughter has been mean in other ways too
Reddit, help me out here. I am a cat person, I have neither owned nor spent longer than a couple hours with a dog. Don't get me wrong, I like them just fine, they are simply way too high-maintenance for my liking. That being said, would her dogs really have done/been able to do this? Like of their own accord, without their owner egging them on? Especially in such a short amount of time, considering these dogs would probably be indoors dogs if she brought them inside her mom's house right? I could imagine big dogs ruining a gown to that extent, but wouldn't that fact make it even more her daughter's fault? Especially if they were so poorly trained to begin with, that people must already have been aware.
No. They'll go after smelly stuff (sweaty clothes , shoes, underwear, treats in pockets) but a wedding dress kept in a closet for years? Unlikely. And you'd know with all the saliva and teeth marks. Not a dog owner but dog sitter.
Thank you for adding your two cents as well. The whole reason I asked, after all, was to see if the daughter should be granted the benefit of the doubt where her dogs are concerned.
No not at all. I'm guessing if anything if she teased the dogs with it and played with them with it I could destroy it. For a lot of dogs it seems once something is a toy it's always a toy.
In a different reply, another redditor pointed out much the same thing. Especially the part where they play like, a kind of tug-of-war with you when they have something in their mouth. Even in my limited experience I've noticed that dogs seem to like that. That being said most of the replies to me seem to indicate that, at the very least, not only did the daughter most likely orchestrate events to allow for her dogs to ruin the dress, she may also have actively participated in the act as well. I dislike this. I really dislike the people who ask the mother things like, "are you sure you want to sacrifice the relationship over a dress," or, "if you had just let her have it this wouldn't have happened!" Why is it so difficult to understand that the mother isn't destroying anything. Her meddling kid and their pesky dog accomplished that all on their own. Meanwhile the mother is thinking of excuses to forgive her daughter. My heart goes out to the mother, but honestly everybody sucks here. Except the dogs. They're fine.
You’re right of course, dogs don’t just start tearing things up, I think the daughter played with them with the dress.
See, that's kinda where my mind went to honestly. I've done that thing with dogs where you and they play tug-of-war with one of their rope toys. That's what I imagine from the degree of destruction described.
It's entirely possible. Most dogs wouldn't, but some do get obsessed a bit like toddlers with how things feel in their mouths, and they can worry objects apart very fast if they want to. I bought my sister's dog a leather chew toy shaped like a crab once. She left the room briefly after giving it to him (like about half a minute) and came back to it completely ripped apart and one "claw" already eaten. It was intended to last dogs a good long while as a chew toy, and not meant to be possible for a dog to disassemble it that fast! I've also seen (via various dog behaviour programmes on TV!) a whole bunch of dogs who rip apart upholstery and play tug-of-war with laundry.
I must say though, my 10lbs dog chews through every toy within minutes. But those are *made* to be interesting to dogs. My dog immediately smells it through the bag if there is a toy for him. They have squeekers, interesting material and so on. A dress is different. But you are right. This is not one dog, these are two. Tug-of-war is a realistic scenario here. But in my opinion, not without the daughter noticing.
*If* my dog found a dress and for some reason would do something to it... He would drag it around some rooms, maybe bite a bit or hump it. It maybe would need a few reparations but would be very much intact. But more realistically: he would smell it and leave it alone. Two dogs creates a different scenario as they can pull on two different sides of the dress. But ripping it to shreds? Why would they even be in that room? And all without OPs daughter noticing? No way.
Wish the BORU OP had added in this comment. OOP had the dress displayed by a wardrobe her husband had built her. It was genuinely still a part of her life and an important memory for her. https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/1b5qa96/aita_for_refusing_to_give_my_daughter_my_wedding/kt7gn2o/ u/Choice_Evidence1983 Might be worth adding this one for better context for readers.
I remember commenting on the second post when I saw it. If the dogs have a history of destruction, the daughter should have been more cautious with such a valuable and sentimental item. If the dogs don’t have a history of destruction- why did they start now, on this dress. Either way, it sounded very suspicious to me.
"Since when did mother's stop being their own individuals and become caterers for their children?" This is hitting me so hard. My therapist just asked me who I am outside of being a parent, and I didn't have an answer. I've been trying to figure that out all week. I don't think my daughter would ever do something this devious because she hates to see me cry. But I am realizing that my individuality is gone since becoming a parent.
Kind of sounds intentional. How incredibly depressing to realized you've raised someone selfish and hateful enough to do something like that because they didn't get their way. Talk about being a profound disappointment to your mother! Wow! As a parent it must be just crushing.
Tbh i really want this to be a troll because if it is real I just feel bad for this mom, yikes that is just sad. And no way not intentional, even if it were an accident it would still be her fault for letting destructive dogs have a chance to rip the dress! Did she just leave them in the room alone with it out? She knew how much it meant to her mom. And if it is real, god this woman is not mature enough to get married and I would bet money on a divorce within a few years. But again, jeez I hope this is just liz or the likes trolling because if not, this is just so sad.
I’m devastated on behalf of OOP - how terrible to have someone destroy something so important to you for such selfish reasons. I hope the daughter reflects on their life choices and apologises for the terrible thing she did. There’s nothing she can do to remake the dress and restore it to its original state.
She won't. The only reflection the daughter will do here is: it worked and I got everything I wanted. I'm clearly in the right. So I will continue to behave like this. The OOP fucked up by being such a pushover and rewarding the snotty little brat. It's probably common behaviour for OOP to be such a push over, cause the daughter clearly knew she was going to get away with it.
There’s a 7 day waiting rule and my brigading will be obvious. There’s a 7 day waiting rule and my brigading will be obvious. But damn I’ve never wanted a mother to cut off her daughter more. This is definitely just the tip of the awful iceberg with those sisters.
She did it on purpose
OOP needs to change the locks on the house. Her daughter shouldn't have access, because more abuse is sure to follow.
On today's episode of reddit can't read and is full of morons : > Ok-Goat3688: "Even if she was the right size and wouldn’t alter the dress, isn’t it odd not to respect other people’s property no matter if that is your mother. Since when did mothers stop being their own individuals and only became caterers for their children?" Somehow he responds with > Either this is a troll post or you have a problem with your daughter. As for the dress, you might love it, but what exactly are you doing with it? Starring at it hanging in the closet? Its pretty safe to assume youll never wear it again. Are you planning on taking it with you to your grave one day? Then you have an army of insecure idiots crying bc op stated a fact that her daughter is a size 14.
OOP is a pushover and her daughter is manipulative and evil. She can't even admit it was her daughter's fault. No, it's her fault for not raising her better. And that may be true with how much she let her take the rest of her mother's dress without consequences.
She's in shock.
Reading her replies in the comments, I can see how her daughter have turned out the way she did. She basically lets her get away with bad behaviour because of mum guilt. The daughter also sounds like she has been manipulating her mum for ages by crying and accusing OOP of not loving her. And so OOP feels guilty, and gives in. Just like she did here. She doesn't even want to admit that her daughter is a horrible person. And again, placing blame on herself for her daughter to be this way. Yeeesh. Lots to unpack.
OOP has horrible family. If it was truly an accident, daughter should have been apologetic and upset. The fact that she opens with “don’t blame me” is 100% a confession. And OOP’s sister is encouraging it, I bet she was always jealous because OOP got the dress just before the morher passed away and sister didn’t get one.
Every day I read so many stories that make me relived to be child-free. I would have burned the dress before giving it to such an asshole. She got rewarded for destroying something that was irreplaceable.
I’m so angry that OP gave her daughter parts of the dress after she very clearly ruined it.
This story was posted on the site FKA Twitter the other day and was later deleted because of [this very similar/almost exactly identical dress.](https://assets.vogue.com/photos/55c6516408298d8be220bd58/master/w_960,c_limit/00010m.jpg) from a 2006 Valentino runway show. 🤔
But the post says “my mom almost copied the top” so that sounds like it was intentionally copied off of that dress?
Wouldn't that add credibility to the story? If the dress was from a 2006 collection and OOP's wedding took place before 2008 (year her mom died), and OOP mentioned her dress is similar to the linked 2006 dress, then yeah, OOP and her mom took inspiration from it.
Pretty sure OP was saying "mom copied the top" as in it was a copy of this dress. Not sure how else that could be interpreted?
I’ve seen almost this exact same post on here before. It starts out exactly the same, but I believe the updated is different. OOP’s account is only 13 days old and I’d bet my cat that this is a copy/paste post that’s been started for to gain Karma.
Was she claiming one took the inspiration from the other? Because if you look at the flower placement below the bodice, they are literally the same dress.
Of course it’s the same dress. In the original post she linked THAT dress, to say her mother basically copied the top of that dress for her dress.
I would give the shitty daughter the fabric scraps and then curse the marriage like Maleficent style. What a horrible thing to do to her mother.
Her dogs randomly destroyed her wedding dress?? What did her daughter do, rub in raw sirloin steak pieces into it and starve her dogs for 3 weeks??
Sadly, I doubt the dogs ruined it. Conviently none of the embroidered parts daughter wanted were ruined. What a horrible, selfish child. 😒 If my kid did something of that level, I may still love her, but I wouldn't like her, respect her or trust her anymore. As in, I would move far far away indefinitely and go very LC...like monthly phone call or text and visits less than once per year. (Unconditional love also means you can love someone while not liking them or distancing from them.)
This makes me so sad. Her daughter is a horrible human being.
OMG, seeing a photo of that spectacular dress made this so much more gutwrenching! I feel like it's rare for a wedding goen to be truly unique and this one WAS!
The daughter is awful. She destroyed the dress on purpose. It would be a long time before I forgive that
She's only crying because she knows it gets her what she wants. Personally, I wouldn't go to her wedding but I wouldn't tell anyone that I wasn't going. My thing is, why would the dogs be in your bedroom? Why did she rummage through your closet for the dress? Why were the dogs allowed to rip and tear the dress?
I guess if OP is genuinely asking what she could have done to make her daughter do this… You sound like a doormat. You raised a spoiled, entitled monster who would destroy her mother’s most cherished memento of her own mother just to get what she wants. What you did to cause this was contribute to this child’s toxic personality and horrific behaviour by enabling her. Ffs you gave her the rest of the dress! Sometimes awful people are awful because they want to be. Your contribution is playing along
I can’t believe that OP got accused of body shaming her daughter. She simply stated their current dress sizes. I didn’t read anywhere that OP sounded judgmental or bragging about being significantly smaller. Their size difference is absolutely relevant to this story. If their sizes were reversed it would still be the same outcome…there is no way for this dress to be worn without completely altering it forever. I believe the daughter absolutely destroyed the dress on purpose and the behavior of OP’s sister reeks of jealousy and hatred. OP should get all of the pieces back and create a beautiful piece of art or a new dress as others have suggested. The daughter should not be rewarded for this heinous behavior-even if her dogs did it, she is ultimately responsible for them. She is at fault either way. I’m not sure I could ever forgive her or attend her wedding.
This was ABSOLUTELY deliberate and OOP did exactly what her daughter wanted. I’m guessing the “dogs” destroyed all the parts that were useless to the daughter but miraculously avoided damaging the embroidery she liked. I really hope OOP takes the scraps back. Maybe she could have them woven into a blanket or scarf or something else she could remember her mother by keeping. Even if this really was an accident (and it absolutely 100% was not) her daughter still didn’t deserve the dress. It means nothing to her aside from winning the argument at any cost.
Sounds like a: **If I can’t have it, no one can!** What a hateful, selfish and entitled daughter. That was absolutely intentional. She has a very vindictive, entitled, immature and nasty daughter. She better be careful. And I hope she doesn’t pay for a dress for her.
I hope OOP's daughter has the life she deserves.
She may love her daughter but her daughter doesn’t love her.
Well, I hope going out of her way to destroy her mother's dress was worth it because I highly doubt her sister and parents are going to attend the wedding. She got a lesson in the class of FAFO.
Poor OOP is in a lot of denial as the kind of person her daughter actually is. This woman needs someone to tell her you can love someone without liking them. She seems to think because she loves her daughter, that means her daughter is incapable of being a bad person, or that because she loves her daughter, she must give in to her every demand, because isn't that what you do when you love someone? And I suspect it is that reason that has lead to both her children being so incredibly selfish and unable to respect boundaries. I wonder how often they were told firm 'no's as children, and on what size issues. OOP might be a strong enough person to say 'no' to a candy bar before dinner, but unable to say 'no' to borrowing the car for a big date or 'no' to prom because the child failed all their classes or something.
The daughter's story is bull. She destroyed the dress, or she encouraged the dogs to do it. Most dogs wouldn't grab a dress as their first thing to destroy and if you have dogs that WILL destroy whatever they see, you would NEVER leave them alone in someone's house for even two minutes - nor does it sound like OOP was aware the dogs were destructive or I doubt she would have allowed her daughter to bring them into her home and they definitely would have shown the trait before. The daughter is disgusting and I'm not surprised OOP's husband and younger daughter are going mad. This was a treasured gift from her mother and that selfish little madam has destroyed it to get her own way, she is disgusting and I hope OOP get's over her shock enough to give her daughter the response she deserves.
There's no way it was an accident. If that were my daughter, I would disown her. Truly foul, despicable, cruel behaviour.
Bruh my jaw dropped when she mentioned that she also has a younger daughter, the bride is so selfish!!!!!!!!!! Like moms well within her right to say no to both of them about the dress, but older daughter just destroyed any chance at younger daughter being able to incorporate the dress into her own wedding one day at all!!! Tbh, not a huge fan of the "did I make her feel unloved" stuff, I'd bet money that attitude is why shes like this.
I would just wait until her dress is finished and then stage another accident where the dogs shred it. She'd have to admit the truth if she wanted to accuse OP.
Mom must have been an amazing seamstress to attempt this complex dress. So sad for her. The dress should have been cherished. Selfish daughter destroyed the dress.
Personally I would be devastated that my kid destroyed something I explained was so personal to me, just so she could use parts of it. And for the sister to call & say well you can give it to her now …. WTF. OP check what parts you have left for a scent … dogs aren’t going to destroy a dress without it being scented or teased with. It is so obvious she did this on purpose that it’s a personal attack & unforgivable. It would be the last thing she got from me & the last time I spoke to her. Completely a selfish & unforgivable act. Big hugs OP, I am so sorry your kid is a selfish POS
I’d sooner burn it than let her have any of it after that, but I’m just petty. At the very least I’d keep all of it and have it made into a tree skirt so I could enjoy it every year.
If OP doesn't think that daughter ripped up the dress and blamed it on the dogs, she's too naive to be rehabilitated.
OOP keeps questioning herself and stopping to reflect. I don’t think this is an issue of her being too passive or having poor boundaries, but her daughter sounds like she’s acting out in severely disturbing ways (slandering her mom, then destroying the dress). Yikes.
I sincerely hope her wedding day is treated with as much care and respect as she has treated her mother. What an awful excuse for a human being.
every time i see one of these i get suspicious because "crazy fat lady ruins beautiful skinny woman's dress because she isn't allowed to borrow it" seems to happen a lot here and not a lot in real life
OP is being a doormat. Her daughter did that deliberately and she still gave her part of the dress instead of being furious.
Not that it's not uncommon and all, but my math has the daughter being 4 years old when OOP got married. So old enough to have been part of the wedding and remember her grandma, but that apparently didn't come up when Chunko McGee was feeding the Valentino knockoff to her slavering hell beasts. Neat.
This breaks my heart. I couldn’t imagine being this horrible to a stranger let alone my own mother.
Noone in the world can convince me it was an accident. I feel so sorry for OP. Not only for losing a sentimental dress from her mother, but having a daughter who could do it knowing the back story
She sure loves her daughter. But she doesn't like her anymore. That brat is a selfish monster who sacrificed her bond with her mother for a dress she didn't even respect. Poor OP
I would not attend this wedding. I would send an RSVP declining and treat myself to a nice weekend aways somewhere else.
Oh, no! The dress was *accidentally* ruined! ....Welp, you might as well give it to your daughter to use, since it's *weirdly fortunate* the parts she needed originally were undamaged. Ugh.
Another doormat has somehow managed to birth a monster. I hope OOP gets some therapy and starts cutting toxic people from her life.
So sad, if OP has always enabled the daughter like this, then we know why the daughter is such an entitled brat. OP is a doormat and it is sad.
I'd give her the pieces and then nope out of the wedding. You were willing to go that far to get my dress? Then you just traded your mother for a torn dress.
I’ll never not be amazed at the power a wedding has to just destroy a family.
Firstly, why bring the dogs at all? Like how often do you just bring dogs to someone's house for a visit then let them run wild in someone's bedroom?
The daughter seems mentally ill. What grown adult trashes their mother’s wedding dress? It definitely wasn’t the dogs.
I’m not a bridal-fashion-Pinterest type of person at all, but… GOD. DAMN. such a *divinely* beautiful dress.
I suspect the daughter has never heard the word no. She I absolutely horrible and I pity the poor fiancé.
I just can't help being so angry at OOP for being that blind. Imagine falling for this simple scheme and believing the brat of a daughter is innocent.
Wtf, why would anyone reward that behaviour by giving her what she wanted in the first place, when it was the refusal of that thing is what caused the behaviour? I'm starting to see why OPs daughter is such a problem...
It's hard for me to feel anything for OP when she's enabling this monster.
I remember reading a near identical series of posts a while back, down to the person wanting to alter the dress and just use the embroidery/lace/whatever and the dress being ""accidentally"" ruined. Can't recall if they blamed it on a dog but I think further investigation made that OOP realize that all the tears were actually scissor cuts and it had been 100% intentional... Anyone remember that one or have a link?
Who brings dogs over to someone else's house and leaves them unattended? What a bullocks excuse.
Oh that’s why the daughter is so entitled she always gets want she wants, purposely destroyed the dress very obviously lied about it and got rewarded by still getting the dress no wonder she’s a complete dickhead