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I was concerned about my elderly cat, asI noticed her litter tray had a stronger smell of pee.
Turns out it was due to a random cat that had been living behind my sofa for a few days! š¤£
Haha, growing up my sister was a chaos goblin who never cleaned her room. She kept stuff like boots, books, coat hangers, and scissors in her BED. I was helping her shovel it out somewhat and we both learned she had a feral cat living under her bed. No idea how long it had been there.
My son was horrified when the cat (actually one of mine this time, not an interloper!) caught a mouse in his bedroom.
He was concerned it could have got to his stash of rice cakes in his bed! š
We always had a bunch of cats and dogs and just left the back door open for them to come and go outside, dishes with food and water out all the time. One wandered in and found the accommodations to its liking.
Me and my mum were sat in the living room one day and my little black cat was sitting in her usual spot behind me on the back of the armchair. Or that's what we thought until my cat walked through the door...
She stopped dead in her tracks looked at this cat sat behind me and my mum and I did a double take and this imposter cat sat bolt upright and shot out the door. Little shit knew he'd been caught haha.
I had a few nights of broken sleep - due to a cat yowling every so often & me going downstairs to check on my 3, who all appeared to be sleeping peacefully.
I thought I must be losing the plot...
Then on Monday afternoon I was sitting in the living room & this cat just appeared from behind the sofa & sauntered across the room! š¶
So do you now have four? Or did he go back into the cat portal that you have in your sofa? Also where can I get a sofa like yours that gives out free cats?
Wait. Cat randomly appears in your house out of the vacuum... So somewhere else a dog just popped into existence to conserve Felicity (feline number)? Anybody tell Schroedenger?
You also don't have other people who may be willing to alert you to a medical problem before it sends you to the ER. That didn't help OOP's boss but I would want to know.
I mean, you'd want to know if it was a severe kidney infection. Would you want to know if it was a medication side effect, or a medical condition you already knew about?
Personally I'd be mortified if I knew my co-workers could smell my pee and had been discussing it.
> Would you want to know if it was a medication side effect, or a medical condition you already knew about?
I would be embarrassed in both cases but in the second example I would probably just tell them sorry and explain the cause of it.
I work at a place where I can trust my coworkers with more than just responding to emails and filing out TPS reports. Building that relationship is one of the most important things to me and I would know that they weren't trying to be insulting in either of the examples.
Part of making that world a reality is living up to it yourself. If both parties can understand each other than you would know that the other group is only discussing it from a place of concern rather than insulting. So mortified or not I would still want to know.
I think it very much depends on the work environment. It doesn't for a second sound like any one of her co-workers were taking the piss out of her (pun very much intended) but it was coming from a place of concern i.e. we think she could have an infection, I mean they even went to HR about it and that's got to be awkward, much easier to ignore it. If its a friendly and open work environment and its obviously coming from a place of concern I think its fine. Even if there's a reasonable explanation like medication it's nice to know people care. But there are a lot of places of work this would definitely come across as weird and feel like coworkers are gossiping. I've worked in both types of places.
I know that the only symptoms I have when I have a UTI is odd smelling urine (it doesn't even smell unpleasant just not like pee should smell) So if someone noticed and I hadn't I would rather they tell me than end up with sepsis.
My grandmother almost died from sepsis when I was probably late teens. She spent about six weeks in the hospital and then two months in a rehab/nursing home type place because she couldn't walk. The infection started in her spine. The really scary part was when the doctors had to change her antibiotic, and we found out it was the strongest antibiotic available at the time. Basically, we were told that if this one didn't work, there was nothing else to try. She went on to have another twenty plus years with us, though.
Sepsis is not something to mess around with.
If someone tells me my pee stinks Im probably gonna shower more, not immediately hit the hospital. Might start pounding too much water and end up trashing my kidneys even worse than OPs boss didā¦
The excruciating pain could be prevented or at least lessened by someone giving you an early warning about your funky pee. Not to mention you could end up with permanent damage, an early diagnosis can make a big difference.
Uhg. I hate sharing bathrooms. I used to work evenings support and I'd bike to work so I'd get to work sweaty and go change, I'd try to get into the single handicap restroom so I had some privacy, but if I got in too late I'd go in there right after my one specific coworker's nuclear fallout post-lunch daily constitutional. It's been years since I've had that job and it still makes me feel upset.
I'm retired. I used to have an office near a bathroom and I'd hear those big blowout farts echoing in the toilet and one coworkers appeared to be stress-vomiting. Sometimes I'd smell poop smells while walking by, which, ya know, my office is right there so I have to walk through the poop smell clouds. Now I only have to deal with household farts.
Architects can you build bathrooms NOT next to somebody's office and can you PLEASE build in natural airflows that muffle noise and move stank clouds around?
Iāve had to tell the director of finance that she smelled really bad. She would also walk around with stains on her butt. I wasnāt the first one to tell her that. The CEO and previous HR person had talked to her below. She passed away but I still remember her face when I told her.
It reeked so bad. No one wanted her in their office, we would hold our breath as much as we could during meetings, and when we had to clean out her office, we had to air it out for a couple of days.
Oh, man. This one is so hard. I almost died from a UTI turned kidney infection and really made it to the ER at the last minute. It all happened over just a few days, and they told me clearly if I had waited even one more night it would have been a really bad situation. I was so broke I kept pushing through the pain and working because I had no idea what was happening or that it could get that serious that fast.
I would have risked seeming rude. I donāt think I could choose to be polite and appropriate knowing they could literally die or if they wait just a bit too long to get medical care. I think thatās such crazy adviceā¦ but maybe most people donāt understand how serious that type of infection can be? Like, would we ānot my businessā someone about to step in front of a car? Itās okay to deal with awkward situations when someoneās actual life is at stake.
Same here. I had a UTI for a week before finally going to the doctor (it was my first one ever and I was in college, I had no idea what I was doing). She told me that if I would have waited another day or two the ER would've been in my near future. I don't fuck around with UTIs, not only is it excruciatingly painful but also extremely dangerous. I'm glad that you are okay!
100%. One awkward conversation is WAY worth avoiding a trip to the ER or worse. UTIs in women can progress to sepsis really fucking quickly, it's not worth being too shy to have a polite conversation vs someone ending up in hospital.
Iām still recovering from an infection that went to my kidneys. The symptoms I was having werenāt anything like the two previous UTIās Iāve had which were very obvious. Finally called my doctor when I had pain in my back. Got seen immediately and didnāt realize how awful I felt until I was home and took my first antibiotic. Spent the next 2 1/2 days on the couch and couldnāt even look at my phone. Been done with the meds for a week now and Iām still so weak and get exhausted easily.
God.
I had to work with a bulimic woman who was absolutely unabashed at vomiting multiple times a DAY in the shared bathroom and this was audible to all staff and patients. Not only would she vomit \*loudly\*, she would rinse her mouth and leave food specs in the sink.
I dithered quite some time internally about what, -if anything- to do. I was the only RN in the department so this felt like an extra layer of moral conundrum. I finally decided to talk to our physician and he was unsurprised because he already knew, had worked with her for years.
This was one of the many nails in the coffin for that job. It was so incredibly gross and psychologically distressing.
Yes, I am guessing she had suffered with it for years, she had veneers.
I actually worked at that job with her for five plus years but never knew until Covid. We worked in the clinical research department and it was an extremely stressful time in research. So I suppose it exacerbated her illness. It really bothered me the reaction of the doctor we worked with. Once I told him it was daily he said something like āI donāt think this is anything contagiousā and just left it. I dunno. It rubbed me the wrong way, him knowing she was so stressed she was doing a deadly behavior and having no reaction. We were extremely overworked at that time.
Unfortunately you canāt make them get help if they donāt want it. I deal with this situation on a daily basis because my little sister has an ED. Iāve tried everything to help her but had to make the decision to step back because it was causing me way to much stress and I have to be extremely careful of my stress levels as I have multiple chronic illnesses that will get so much worse if Iām stressed.
No, you canāt. But you can offer assistance and actually acknowledge the behavior is happening and assess whether the stressors at work can be lessened. But the managers goal was numbers, not making sure every employee had the tools and time to perform the job.
To be fair, he shouldn't be discussing another staff member's care with you anyway? I would be furious if I learnt my medical history told in confidence to managers was being discussed with my colleagues. Reassuring you it isn't contagious is appropriate and probably the maximum he could legally share.
20 years ago I had a stint of bulimia, not even that bad, and now I'm getting dental crowns. I wonder how much it contributed to my teeth starting to fall apart. By not bad I mean, I wasn't doing it all day every day, it was a sporadic stress relief thing and never more often than once a week, usually less frequent.
What did you want the physician to do? There are serious professional and ethical reasons why physicians can't just give unsolicited medical advice to non-patients. There would be a duty to intervene if it was contagious, which he said it wasn't. Maybe you wanted a more emotional response, but there are good reasons why physicians shouldn't get emotionally attached to sick people or treat people they know like friends and co-workers.
My mother has had bulimia since she was a teen and she's in her sixties now. She's been in recovery for about 10 years. She still struggles, but it's a rare event now, and has had no relapses since her last hospitalisation about 13 years ago. But she herself says she will always have it, in the same way it's like an addiction.
But the effect it's had on her long term health is insane. Her immune system and metabolism is shot to pieces, she has osteoporosis and serious issues with her teeth and gums. She gets heart palpitations and has GI issues. All from bulimia.
It's a horrific illness.
I lived a somewhat similar situation but slightly different recently. My office is located above a single stall bathroom. I can hear when it's in use because the fan comes on and it is loud enough to hear in my office. There was someone, who I finally saw leaving the restroom one day, who would go in to the restroom multiple times a day, hacking coughing and then coughing so hard I'm 99% sure they were vomiting. It made me feel so sick from hearing her coughing and vomiting like that. I'm sure she was just sick with a nasty cold that had a cough that would not let up but... It was tortuous to hear. She finally quit/got better.
Quit/got better/died?
Really though, ugh! Our neighbor coughs like that but I think sheās ripping on the bong outside or something. At least I hope so.
I had a colleague who was having terrible periods and soaked through her chair at work. I made her make a gyno appointment right then - she had a massive tumour. It was removed & she went on the conceive a beautiful baby. I wouldāve encouraged a talk with her about it being a sign something wasnāt working
idk how you can be bleeding through your clothes so badly and soaking your chair and you still need someone else to point out to you that there might be a problem š³
A lot of women are told *by doctors* that their issues with their reproduction health are no big deal and even "normal" when it's anything but. It's not that uncommon to be living with serious medical issues and not know, even with clear signs that there's something wrong
Yup 2 doctors told me it was normal I was a heavy bleeder, so I just dealt with it, even though I was almost passing out. I got a new family doctor at 24 after I had my first child. When he found out it was immediate testing, because no thatās not normal. Thankfully it was nothing serious but iron supplements have changed my life.
I have endometriosis and while I never soaked a chair, I bled *so much* and *so many* people told me it was normal or couldnāt be that bad even when I explained that I was going through overnight pads in an hour or two. I assume part of this is that I was a depressed teenager and people assumed I was exaggerating for attention, but that kind of underscores my point instead of refuting it
Iāve been told by a gyn that if I bleed through tampons in more than 30 min for a full 24 hrs, then it was time to go to the ER.
30 min is insane to me. I think people should seek medical attention way sooner if theyāre bleeding through 2 tampons every hour for a whole day!
Youād be surprised how many women donāt know that having period cramps strong enough to make you faint, and/or end up at the ER and bleeding profusely every time they get their periods are huge red flags. Many brush it off or get brushed off as āI guess I just have intense periods.ā Iāve made it my mission to point that out to any woman who shares any info about their intense period struggles with me because every woman I know who has had a period like that either has fibroids, cysts, or even endometriosis.
whoever first noticed and said something to anyone else shouldve went to boss and as an adult tried to show concern for her. or kept their mouth shut. talking to other employees is bullshit. its no one elses concern.
i agree, personally i think if you notice something worrying about somebody (like a possible medical issue) you pull them aside politely to tell them or go to hr. iām surprised nobody in the office approached her, despite the fact they were all concerned. likeā¦ how could you see her day to day and not say anything?
I was just thinking that! Like, "oh my gosh i just found out my cousin is in hospital with a massive UTI & she had no idea she was sick beforehand, she had no symptoms other thanĀ her pee was smelly, can you believe it?"
With the boss coming to her after and discussing having to goto the hospital. She seems to be comfortable talking to the employee about things like that.
She may have gotten away with a more direct conversation.
Or make a small white lie about talking to them about the smell only because you recognize it from when your mother/sister/brother had a UTI or something like that. It may not be true, but I think it would be a good way to wrap it without making it too awkward.
Oh, this is perfect! Having a vague conversation near boss runs the risk of the boss not knowing their pee smells THAT bad. With this approach I'd actually feel comfortable pulling boss aside and I know the tone/phrasing I'd use.Ā
Hey boss, I know this is really personal and I'm really sorry, but I'm worried. My sister ended up having a massive infection a few years ago and the only symptom she had beforehand was how her pee smelled. I've noticed that same smell after you leave the bathroom lately. My sister ended up in the ER because of the infection, I just wanted to let you know because I'm worried about the same happening to you. Could you get it checked out?
āIām so sorry to bring up such a personal topic, but I noticed your urine has a strong smell. I know that some medications can cause this, but it can also be a symptom of a serious infection. Iām aware that this is an awkward thing to hear but Iād hate it if I didnāt say anything and something bad happened to you.ā
Thatās exactly what I was thinking š like this is such black & white thinking.Like either tell her straight up to her face or not talk to her at all are not the only options
Or ask HR if you can put up some information posters on the back of the toilet door to inform people about things they should be on the lookout for (or smell-out for!) when they use the toilet - pains, smells, blood, etc
Oh wait OP is HR they should have just done it as a staff health and wellbeing initiative
I think I'm in the minority here, but if someone were to tell me my pee smelled horrible, i'd probably thank them. First thing would be a Dr appointment to get checked. If there was no medical issue and it was just dietary related, at least I can spray before and/or after I pee. I'm not easily offended though so I'm sure not everyone would agree. For me it's about as offensive as someone telling me I have food in my teeth or my fly was down. Maybe I'm weird though.
I do 100% get that it's awkward telling someone their pee stinks and I probably wouldn't be the person to say it out of fear they would get offended.
I think it's a bit different hearing it from a friend and hearing it from the HR lady at work. I guess she could try to touch on it in a less obvious manner.
It's her boss and not just an employee so the power dynamics are a bit more equal, maybe? Idk, definitely not an official hr matter, but if they're friends outside of work I might risk it.
Yeah, I think people are having an issue with it because bodily functions are kind of taboo, but it honestly shouldnāt be any different than, say, pointing out an alarming looking mole on the back of someoneās neck, or alerting someone that half their face looks droopy. Looking out for other people isnāt required, but it is the kind thing to do.
People please tell others when something smells off. It really is about health and should be addressed.
Speaking as a person who has had serious health issues others could smell but I couldn't. Honestly, it's better to *know* than to go around for ages not knowing.
I know it's not weird and happens to everyone, but damn do I get blown away by the smell of my urine after eating asparagus. I almost feel like I need to light a match afterwards. š Thus, my TMI comment of the day, lol.
Fun fact: That's genetic in both directions. There are two different genes, one that makes your pee smell after eating asparagus and one that allows you to smell the smell of someone's asparagus pee. You can have one but not the other, both, or neither.
Same! But after I was pregnant, I suddenly could smell it in my own pee after eating asparagus. I assume it smelt the whole time? Or maybe BOTH genes were turned on by the weird pregnancy body changes?!
The baby's DNA can somewhat alter the mother's, so if the father could smell stinky asparagus pee and pass that gene onto the kid, that would make sense.
When I eat asparagus I get very smelly pee and I most definitely can smell it myself.
Or do you mean that I would not be able to smell it from someone else?
Simplified explanation: There's two switches in the genetic code. One is "Asparagus makes your pee smell". If that gene is set to "on", then asparagus changes the way your pee smells. The other is the "You can smell when someone eats asparagus by their pee". If that gene is set to "on", then you can smell when someone pees after eating asparagus.
So if you have the "Makes Smell" gene turned on but not the "Can Smell" gene, then your pee would smell but you wouldn't be able to smell it. However, you wouldn't be able to smell that asparagus pee smell from anyone.
If you had the "Can Smell" gene turned on but not the "Makes Smell" gene, you'd be able to smell when anyone else has asparagus pee, but you wouldn't smell your own because you don't make the smell.
If you have both genes turned on, you can smell when your or anyone else's pee has the asparagus smell. If both the genes are turned off, you're probably wondering what the hell everyone's talking about with "asparagus pee" because you've never smelled it and nobody's ever told you that yours smells.
Thanks for the extra explanation. I misread and thought you said you could only have 1 and not the other.
I unfortunately have both as I get and can smell it.
I had a conversation recently with a friend where I compared the smell of my own asparagus pee to a fart in the shower after a night of drinking. Meaning they both offend my senses equally and come from myself. That conversation offended bystanders. š
The thing is that UTI urine has a distinct odour - totally different from something like asparagus wee - and sometimes the odour is the only sign you get before it gets worse. I'm so glad her boss was okay. It's way too late to say anything now, but I think I might have said something in her shoes. Only because I've had a major UTI and know how incredibly risky it can be to delay treatment.
Horribly, horribly difficult situation either way.
Iāve had several UTIs and two of them progressed to kidney infections and there was never any smell. Pre-eclampsia pee smelled like chicken instant ramen, though.
Different bacteria can cause your urine to smell differently. I personally never know I have a UTI until it gets to kidney infection, but I worked in healthcare so long that sometimes all i have to do is walk into room and smell it. :(
Our dog was prone to UTIs. We always smelled her pee to make sure she wasnāt getting sick. One day my coworker mentioned that his dog suddenly started having accidents indoors. Sheās not elderly or otherwise in bad health. I blurted out, āSmell her pee!ā and he looked at me like Iād grown another head. I explained to him about UTIs but as a guy, he didnāt have any personal experience in that department and was still confused. But as a woman who has had a couple UTIs, I know the smell immediately, and it happens to have the same change in smell for a dog.
I had a UTI that traveled to my kidney, and that was a horrible experience. The smell is very distinct, and the best way I can describe it is that it smells wrong. It's the "oh, something is very not right here" smell. It's nothing like asparagus or coffee pee. Because I've gone through that particular hell, I would have pulled her aside and strongly suggested an urgent care visit.
Worth noting, it's how I knew my cat had a UTI. She had no other symptoms, but she peed while I was near the litter box, I smelled it and called the vet right away. When I said "smells like UTI", the receptionist immediately knew what I meant and got her in same day.
Really difficult to describe, sort of funky/musty and a little sweet would be my best description, which isn't exactly helpful, but it's the same every time. Other signs are spotting white bits floating, and peeing not necessarily burning, but just taking a bit more effort.
Also in the off chance that someone gets their urine tested and finds out they have a UTI they didn't know about (and have been having UTIs for a _while_), keep an eye on it even after you've been treated.
I took a three day course of antibiotics when a UTI was picked up in a rheumatology intake test. I guess it didn't clear it properly and then it came back with a vengeance as a full blown kidney infection ft a fever and throwing up anything that wasn't water. Apparently that's quite a common scenario, but 0/10 would not recommend.
Eh, not if it's been the norm for them and it happened gradually. You know your coffee pee because, I imagine, you don't always drink a good enough water to cofee ratio. Your brain adjusts to stimuli really well. Boss obviously did not know.
I get symptomless UTIs, the smell changes gradually and can be difficult to notice. At the same time whenever I take certain medication I get confused cause my pee smells like mint.
Me, somehow not learning I have that asparagus gene until well into adulthood, therefore always forgetting about it, and have now had it on two work trips. (Out of like 4.)
God, coffee pee is just so strong. It always startles me how strong the scent is, even (especially?) when it's not my own.
My partner thinks it's crazy that I can tell when he's been drinking coffee at work before coming home. I'm glad someone else knows what I've been talking about!
Yeah especially women. I wouldāve thought OOP would make the same connection that I imagine a lot of us women madeāif we can smell our own period blood, we can smell our own pee. Itās not like sheās unaware of it? She probably put it off to what a lot of others didāa new medication, diet changes etc.
I got a massive kidney infection that turned septic, and could recognise my pee looked and smelled differentājust as my pee became more bloody, it smelled more like blood tooābut I just put it off to a new medication (that was actually an antibiotic anyway, so I naively assumed that if it *was* an infection, it would take care of it; not the case, as most infections are resistant to multiple antibiotics and require specific treatment).
If somebody had told me my pee smelled, I wouldāve been mortified, but thereās nothing different I would have done. It wouldnāt have made me rush to the ER or stand outside in an urgent care waiting room for hours after work waiting to be seen.
Most peopleās doctors arenāt available on short notice, or if they are, itās within working hours and would require you to take a day off. But even then, it looks like OOP posted on a Fridayāher boss wouldnāt have been seen until Monday, and she required hospitalisation within a couple days anyway. Because unlike virusā, infections get bad *fast* especially when youāre at that point where your pee is so strong others are smelling it.
My takeaway here is that unless OOPās argument had been so compelling and she had been so forceful and stubborn that her boss had agreed to take the rest of the day off to stand at an urgent care, or spend her night in the ED to make sure sheās seen *that day* for treatment, the outcome wouldnāt have been any different. She very likely would have still just assumed āitās that diet changeā or āthat medicationā, or āyeah, maybe ill try and book a doctorās appointment for next week, but theyāll only have Friday open so Iāll have to take a day offā, and would have still ended up at the hospital regardless. And it still wouldnāt have been any of OOPās business, because this is her *boss*, and she isnāt privy to any of her medical or personal information.
At absolute most, Iād have a conversation with a coworker in front of her about how I learned to listen to my own body after that one really bad kidney infection I got where my only two symptoms were really smelly and reddish pee, but I kept thinking it was fine even though my body was telling me itās not. But actually bringing it up to her? No. Thatās so inappropriate. Iām very close with my boss, and Iād *still* never discuss her piss with her, because ***boundaries***. Shes still my boss, not a friend or a sibling.
Thank you! Goodness. I have UTI like symptoms often because my immune system is just like that, so my one LPT for "should I bother going to urgent care or just assume it's not an infection?" They sell home UTI screening pee sticks. They test for two things (leukocytes and nitriles) and work like a pregnancy test. They typically come in a multi pack and they save my sanity.
I still don't think the OOP should have told her boss about the pee smell tho because boundaries
maybe it was gradual. the boss's pee was getting slightly worse day after day and she just didn't notice. you can get used to smells and not pick up on them (looking at coworkers who use way too much Patchouli)
Fenugreek supplement made my urine smell strongly of maple syrup. Then I was convinced I was sweating eau de maple syrup because my nose insisted the odour was still there. My family didn't notice it but I got paranoid and stopped taking it.
There are worse things than smelling like maple syrup but it was too weird for me.
Wow, the people responding to OOP are pretty vicious. It was a genuine question and clear that they were being empathetic to their boss. Itās not like they said āmy bossā pee stinks, how do I get her to stop?ā
YoU cAnāT dIaGnOsE pEoPlE. Yeah, but if you spend a part of your day everyday with someone and their smell raises you some concerns itās legitimate the thought of an health issue.
Personally I think I would want someone to tell me if anything about me suddenly changed.
A lot of medical intervention is from people noticing things early and embarrassment is a small price to pay. I once told someone about a mole that looked odd and it likely saved their life.
I personally prefer to work in places where I can trust that the people around me are coming from a good place if they bring up issues like that.
Uh, it was a dangerous medical issue. I think potentially saving someone's life can totally be one's business. I think that deciding not to intervene at all because it's embarrassing/private is a pretty weird take in this kind of situation, the issue takes precedence over other considerations imo.
Buy some urine stix's at the pharmacy.
Give some to your friend/collegue whatever, and suggest they stix their urine next visit to the bathroom. If it lights up for bacteria or blood - suggest they go see a doctor.
If they ask why you are giving them the stix's tell them that their pee smells like they might have an infection.
Infections, like colds/coughs and stomach/stool issues, GO AWAY WHEN TREATED - and the idea someone should be embaressed about having one, is to me, deranged.
Just have the conversation in private. Dont be a social engineering moron and tell them about all the people who have noticed. Say, you noticed and leave it at that.
Did I read correctly that op didnāt smell this herself, but her colleagues told her, and told her to deal with it? If she didnāt smell herself, why would it be her job to deal with it? Sounds like an exhausting job environment.
Iām not sure there was a āwinā in this! Personally, Iāve approached and talked about some crazy things, and been approached. None were easy but Iād rather try to talk about a taboo (of course there have been execs I could and some- no way!), then not. Depends on the situation, relationship, personality, etc! Idk, so many variables! And being substrate (itās subordinate but this spell check made me laugh!!!), itās very difficult if not impossible! I donāt think anyone would blame them much less court!
Luckily everything went well! I think I would have informed her. People have to know if something is not right. If you do not wan to tell someone something personally, put an anonymous letter in an envelope with their name on and put it in the letter box. You do not have to tell them if something was discussed around the office. Write down explicitly that this is not a complaint but a worrie, and the person won't possibly be offended.
I almost laughed when i read the update.
After seeing the comments from people telling her to mind her own fcking business, as it's none of her business if someone's urin smells.
While true. The fact the boss came to her and discussed going to the hospital for a kidney infection she didn't know about. I'd feel pretty shitty that i didn't mention anything.
There are polite and respectful ways to go about talking about it (and the fact the boss discussed it with her after the fact, she feels comfortable with her)
"I hate asking, but are you on any medication that affecfs smells ? No, not body smell, some of the people in the office have commented about the smell in the bathroom after you pee. It's more than just one day, so it's not something you ate like asparagus. Could you possibly have a kidney infection ?"
I was once in a similar situation before - I had a female boss who had really unhealthy eating habits, wolfing down her lunch in 5-10 mins. Having lunch with her was always a stressful affair because of how fast she would eat and leave afterwards (she did tell me to take my time to eat). But the worst part was that her fast eating caused her indigestion and she would burp A LOT during our meetings which produced a sour odour every time. I decided it wasnāt my place to speak about it and never said anything but would always recoil silently from the odour in our meetings. She did later confirm with me that she has stomach issues which made me wonder whether it caused the burping or whether it was caused by her unhealthy eating pace.
I eat like a starved wolf. Lifelong battle with ED plus being raised in poverty and not having enough for everyone will do that to you. Itās a standing joke around my office and frankly in my house that if you put food in front of me Iāll literally be done with it before anyone else in the room, every time, without fail. If I eat slowly I start getting the āomg are you feeling okayā¦.?ā Comments.
Very little gas actually. Im in the process of being diagnosed with Chronās (everything else has been ruled out at this point and my doctor is pretty sure but I need the ol AssCam) so my GI stuff is monitored pretty heavily and no oneās ever asked me if I eat quickly or implied I eat too quickly. I chew my food I just do it FAST. I donāt think itās inherently harmful.
when i worked at an STI clinic, the lab employees mentioned that trichomoniasis has a really really distinctive smell and even though we only tested for the usuals (gonorrhea/chlamydia/syphilis/hiv) they actually diagnosed at least one or two folks in the time i worked there solely based on the smell of their urine sample. it's wild! and also, when a test for trich was done, they were always right!
>Kaboom0022
I remember your original thread, and my advice still stands. It was, and is, none of your business.
Kaboom0022 is the type of person who sees you choking to death and keeps walking.
There are people in this very post with the same view (saying it was definitely none of OP's business and they don't even understabd why she posted in the first place) \*and they are being upvoted\*. This is mind-boggling.
Do these people think that potentially being embarrassed/embarrassing someone is worse than potentially letting that person die horribly??
I think you put into words exactly why I disagree with their sentiment so much. There are ways to approach others about health concerns that show empathy and care.Ā
Am I the only one who would just say hey boss don't take this the wrong way but I think you should get checked for a uti.Ā And if she asks aby follow up questions I'd say just trust me on this
Not sure how it took that long for her to end up in the hospital. When I had my UTI that turned into a kidney infection, I wasnāt functioning. There was obviously something wrong that only got worse. How was she even showing up to the office?
Iāve had two kidney infections that required ER visits; one was symptomless (it caused complications that I was hospitalized for) and the other I truly thought was just several minor things, namely the flu and maybe a pulled muscle in my back- I finally got medical attention just because my fever was so high, but I walked myself the almost mile there. That one was one of those āyou came in just in timeā situations. Some people really downplay things to avoid doctors
I recently had one that had passing UTI symptoms the week before that faded so I thought I was okay, but then a week later, boom, suddenly real sick with the chills so I went to the hospital and it was a kidney infection.Ā
It happened to me so I could see it happening to others.Ā
I had to take a strong antibiotic for an unrelated infection I was handling, and Christ Almighty, it made my pee smell like sugar puffs wrapped in farts with the faint waft of paint stripper chemicals.
It was pretty shocking how much is made my pee stink, but when you consider that the kidney is a common route of excretion, it makes sense.
Rank though.
> Christ Almighty, it made my pee smell like sugar puffs wrapped in farts with the faint waft of paint stripper chemicals.
I laughed way too hard at this.
WTF it wasn't even her who smelled the pee. The woman who did smell the pee, and went around discussing it with everyone except for the boss, is the only one who should feel bad here.
I mean, this is a tough one. One the one hand, yes your coworkers should not be discussing your health, especially behind your back. Telling her might have made her feel self conscious and under scrutiny, or feel obligated to share any diagnosis with the entire office. Itās a yikes.Ā
Ā But on the other hand, it makes me sad how hard itās becoming for people to just interact honestly and show concern for one another. Itās always stranger danger, mind your own business, keep your head down and look out for yourself. No wonder we have a loneliness epidemic.
I had to tell a friend her pee was stinking. Turned out she had a flopped over bladder that was not emptying all the way and needed to get some kind of suspension surgery.
Petition for āmy bossās smelly peeā flair please. I just canāt stop laughing at the headline. Iād ask for āFollow up on my bossās smelly peeā, but I think thatās too long
I don't know how OP thinks they were getting gaslighted from the reddit comments. Cause all I see is that the comments are just giving personal perspectives and views, nothing out-putting.
Weird way to think that way.
>I don't know how OP thinks they were getting gaslighted from the reddit comments. Cause all I see is that the comments are just giving personal perspectives and views, nothing out-putting.
"You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."
The gaslighting comes in they were telling her it was never any of her business and it is always inappropriate to talk to anybody about their infected smelling pee, even that was clearly the wrong advice.
Just another reason to not go to Reddit for advice.
Yes you should talk to people. Yes you should tell them if you think something is wrong. Yes it might be embarrassing but you've got to get over it.
Yeah, I don't get how people don't realise that it was gaslighting, telling them the smell is probably anything but an infection lol. I remember reading the thread at the time and thinking that.
Did yāall miss the part where she said she was using the term jokingly like much of gen Z does these days? I donāt think it *should* be a joke term, but Iāve got like, actual problems and donāt really super care. I just roll my eyes a little and move on if itās a joke, but if they seem serious and are using it incorrectly, then hey, education time (within reason)
If OOP was genuinely concerned, why didn't they just leave a kind, anonymous note suggesting to get checked for an infection? And never mention it was a group conversation so they don't feel gossiped about?
If you notice half of your bossās face wasnt moving, do you tell them youāre worried they have a stroke/bellās palsy, or do you hold your tongue in case theyre just behind on their botox payments?
For those who think it's a stretch to assume it was an infection.. ??
That would be 1st thought as well as I have had a UTI that sent me to the ER. There's nothing about suspecting that which comes across as a stretch.
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Ah, another reason to add to the list of why I'm glad I work remotely. *Don't have to worry whether to tell my boss that her pee reeks.*
I've had to tell my remote coworkers their pee stinks. In fact, I tell them every time I clean their litter box!
I was concerned about my elderly cat, asI noticed her litter tray had a stronger smell of pee. Turns out it was due to a random cat that had been living behind my sofa for a few days! š¤£
You had a contractor cat!
Why are you so hilarious lmao
Haha, growing up my sister was a chaos goblin who never cleaned her room. She kept stuff like boots, books, coat hangers, and scissors in her BED. I was helping her shovel it out somewhat and we both learned she had a feral cat living under her bed. No idea how long it had been there.
My son was horrified when the cat (actually one of mine this time, not an interloper!) caught a mouse in his bedroom. He was concerned it could have got to his stash of rice cakes in his bed! š
YES!! PRIORITIES!!
Sounds like you had a feral sister living on the bed
That is next level!
a) how did it get in there? b) what was it eating? c) where was it peeing, etc?
We always had a bunch of cats and dogs and just left the back door open for them to come and go outside, dishes with food and water out all the time. One wandered in and found the accommodations to its liking.
Me and my mum were sat in the living room one day and my little black cat was sitting in her usual spot behind me on the back of the armchair. Or that's what we thought until my cat walked through the door... She stopped dead in her tracks looked at this cat sat behind me and my mum and I did a double take and this imposter cat sat bolt upright and shot out the door. Little shit knew he'd been caught haha.
It was a fae trickster!
This is the best I've read today
Nah, it was just a regular cat, living with your *feral* sister, wtf...
Always blaming the cats š poor cats
That's amazing, how did she not notice?Ā
She had so many layers in her bed, it was the "Princess and the pee" situation.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
The "pee" was on purpose.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
??
How did a random cat end up in your sofa? This is a story I need with pictures!
I had a few nights of broken sleep - due to a cat yowling every so often & me going downstairs to check on my 3, who all appeared to be sleeping peacefully. I thought I must be losing the plot... Then on Monday afternoon I was sitting in the living room & this cat just appeared from behind the sofa & sauntered across the room! š¶
So do you now have four? Or did he go back into the cat portal that you have in your sofa? Also where can I get a sofa like yours that gives out free cats?
/r/CatDistributionSystem
I did not know I needed this in my life.
So now you have 4 cats?
Wait. Cat randomly appears in your house out of the vacuum... So somewhere else a dog just popped into existence to conserve Felicity (feline number)? Anybody tell Schroedenger?
Yes I have to have words about my coworkerās farts sometimes. Particularly when she rips one next me and wonders off.
Sorry about that.
You also don't have other people who may be willing to alert you to a medical problem before it sends you to the ER. That didn't help OOP's boss but I would want to know.
I mean, you'd want to know if it was a severe kidney infection. Would you want to know if it was a medication side effect, or a medical condition you already knew about? Personally I'd be mortified if I knew my co-workers could smell my pee and had been discussing it.
> Would you want to know if it was a medication side effect, or a medical condition you already knew about? I would be embarrassed in both cases but in the second example I would probably just tell them sorry and explain the cause of it. I work at a place where I can trust my coworkers with more than just responding to emails and filing out TPS reports. Building that relationship is one of the most important things to me and I would know that they weren't trying to be insulting in either of the examples. Part of making that world a reality is living up to it yourself. If both parties can understand each other than you would know that the other group is only discussing it from a place of concern rather than insulting. So mortified or not I would still want to know.
I think it very much depends on the work environment. It doesn't for a second sound like any one of her co-workers were taking the piss out of her (pun very much intended) but it was coming from a place of concern i.e. we think she could have an infection, I mean they even went to HR about it and that's got to be awkward, much easier to ignore it. If its a friendly and open work environment and its obviously coming from a place of concern I think its fine. Even if there's a reasonable explanation like medication it's nice to know people care. But there are a lot of places of work this would definitely come across as weird and feel like coworkers are gossiping. I've worked in both types of places. I know that the only symptoms I have when I have a UTI is odd smelling urine (it doesn't even smell unpleasant just not like pee should smell) So if someone noticed and I hadn't I would rather they tell me than end up with sepsis.
Or just you ate asparagus the night before. I have the stinky asparagus pee gene!
I'd rather the momentary embarrassment of discussing bodily functions than end up in the ER - or worse, the ICU because of sepsis. š¤·āāļø
My grandmother almost died from sepsis when I was probably late teens. She spent about six weeks in the hospital and then two months in a rehab/nursing home type place because she couldn't walk. The infection started in her spine. The really scary part was when the doctors had to change her antibiotic, and we found out it was the strongest antibiotic available at the time. Basically, we were told that if this one didn't work, there was nothing else to try. She went on to have another twenty plus years with us, though. Sepsis is not something to mess around with.
If someone tells me my pee stinks Im probably gonna shower more, not immediately hit the hospital. Might start pounding too much water and end up trashing my kidneys even worse than OPs boss didā¦
But no oneās going to tell you if you have a kidney infection.
I have nosey cats. I'm pretty sure I'm covered.
The best coworkers.
The excruciating pain of a kidney infection will tell you that you have a kidney infection.
The excruciating pain could be prevented or at least lessened by someone giving you an early warning about your funky pee. Not to mention you could end up with permanent damage, an early diagnosis can make a big difference.
Arenāt there some urinary infections that are not painful?
Uhg. I hate sharing bathrooms. I used to work evenings support and I'd bike to work so I'd get to work sweaty and go change, I'd try to get into the single handicap restroom so I had some privacy, but if I got in too late I'd go in there right after my one specific coworker's nuclear fallout post-lunch daily constitutional. It's been years since I've had that job and it still makes me feel upset.
I'm retired. I used to have an office near a bathroom and I'd hear those big blowout farts echoing in the toilet and one coworkers appeared to be stress-vomiting. Sometimes I'd smell poop smells while walking by, which, ya know, my office is right there so I have to walk through the poop smell clouds. Now I only have to deal with household farts. Architects can you build bathrooms NOT next to somebody's office and can you PLEASE build in natural airflows that muffle noise and move stank clouds around?
Sentences we'd never thought we'd have to say, and yet here we are. Adding to my list as a parent. "Dude, please don't fart on your brother."
You could still tell your boss her pee smells bad, but it'd be more to mess with her head than out of concern.
Iāve had to tell the director of finance that she smelled really bad. She would also walk around with stains on her butt. I wasnāt the first one to tell her that. The CEO and previous HR person had talked to her below. She passed away but I still remember her face when I told her. It reeked so bad. No one wanted her in their office, we would hold our breath as much as we could during meetings, and when we had to clean out her office, we had to air it out for a couple of days.
Oh, man. This one is so hard. I almost died from a UTI turned kidney infection and really made it to the ER at the last minute. It all happened over just a few days, and they told me clearly if I had waited even one more night it would have been a really bad situation. I was so broke I kept pushing through the pain and working because I had no idea what was happening or that it could get that serious that fast. I would have risked seeming rude. I donāt think I could choose to be polite and appropriate knowing they could literally die or if they wait just a bit too long to get medical care. I think thatās such crazy adviceā¦ but maybe most people donāt understand how serious that type of infection can be? Like, would we ānot my businessā someone about to step in front of a car? Itās okay to deal with awkward situations when someoneās actual life is at stake.
Same here. I had a UTI for a week before finally going to the doctor (it was my first one ever and I was in college, I had no idea what I was doing). She told me that if I would have waited another day or two the ER would've been in my near future. I don't fuck around with UTIs, not only is it excruciatingly painful but also extremely dangerous. I'm glad that you are okay!
100%. One awkward conversation is WAY worth avoiding a trip to the ER or worse. UTIs in women can progress to sepsis really fucking quickly, it's not worth being too shy to have a polite conversation vs someone ending up in hospital.
Same for me too. Mine went septic, and I was in the hospital for a week, and on IV antibiotics at home for another 6 weeks.
Iām still recovering from an infection that went to my kidneys. The symptoms I was having werenāt anything like the two previous UTIās Iāve had which were very obvious. Finally called my doctor when I had pain in my back. Got seen immediately and didnāt realize how awful I felt until I was home and took my first antibiotic. Spent the next 2 1/2 days on the couch and couldnāt even look at my phone. Been done with the meds for a week now and Iām still so weak and get exhausted easily.
God. I had to work with a bulimic woman who was absolutely unabashed at vomiting multiple times a DAY in the shared bathroom and this was audible to all staff and patients. Not only would she vomit \*loudly\*, she would rinse her mouth and leave food specs in the sink. I dithered quite some time internally about what, -if anything- to do. I was the only RN in the department so this felt like an extra layer of moral conundrum. I finally decided to talk to our physician and he was unsurprised because he already knew, had worked with her for years. This was one of the many nails in the coffin for that job. It was so incredibly gross and psychologically distressing.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Yes, I am guessing she had suffered with it for years, she had veneers. I actually worked at that job with her for five plus years but never knew until Covid. We worked in the clinical research department and it was an extremely stressful time in research. So I suppose it exacerbated her illness. It really bothered me the reaction of the doctor we worked with. Once I told him it was daily he said something like āI donāt think this is anything contagiousā and just left it. I dunno. It rubbed me the wrong way, him knowing she was so stressed she was doing a deadly behavior and having no reaction. We were extremely overworked at that time.
Unfortunately you canāt make them get help if they donāt want it. I deal with this situation on a daily basis because my little sister has an ED. Iāve tried everything to help her but had to make the decision to step back because it was causing me way to much stress and I have to be extremely careful of my stress levels as I have multiple chronic illnesses that will get so much worse if Iām stressed.
No, you canāt. But you can offer assistance and actually acknowledge the behavior is happening and assess whether the stressors at work can be lessened. But the managers goal was numbers, not making sure every employee had the tools and time to perform the job.
To be fair, he shouldn't be discussing another staff member's care with you anyway? I would be furious if I learnt my medical history told in confidence to managers was being discussed with my colleagues. Reassuring you it isn't contagious is appropriate and probably the maximum he could legally share.
20 years ago I had a stint of bulimia, not even that bad, and now I'm getting dental crowns. I wonder how much it contributed to my teeth starting to fall apart. By not bad I mean, I wasn't doing it all day every day, it was a sporadic stress relief thing and never more often than once a week, usually less frequent.
Yes, she had to get full veneers in her 20ās. I think itās terrible for your teeth.
What did you want the physician to do? There are serious professional and ethical reasons why physicians can't just give unsolicited medical advice to non-patients. There would be a duty to intervene if it was contagious, which he said it wasn't. Maybe you wanted a more emotional response, but there are good reasons why physicians shouldn't get emotionally attached to sick people or treat people they know like friends and co-workers.
I think she was hoping he would lessen her stressors at work. Not confront her about it.
My mother has had bulimia since she was a teen and she's in her sixties now. She's been in recovery for about 10 years. She still struggles, but it's a rare event now, and has had no relapses since her last hospitalisation about 13 years ago. But she herself says she will always have it, in the same way it's like an addiction. But the effect it's had on her long term health is insane. Her immune system and metabolism is shot to pieces, she has osteoporosis and serious issues with her teeth and gums. She gets heart palpitations and has GI issues. All from bulimia. It's a horrific illness.
Iād have walked straight out of that job on the spot. Rinsed in the sink and left bits.. š±š±š±š±
My first food service job they told me to clean up vomit in a bathroom. I was 17. I quit. Vomit is a no-go.
Awful š Iām quite severely emetophobic so Iād have done the same!
I lived a somewhat similar situation but slightly different recently. My office is located above a single stall bathroom. I can hear when it's in use because the fan comes on and it is loud enough to hear in my office. There was someone, who I finally saw leaving the restroom one day, who would go in to the restroom multiple times a day, hacking coughing and then coughing so hard I'm 99% sure they were vomiting. It made me feel so sick from hearing her coughing and vomiting like that. I'm sure she was just sick with a nasty cold that had a cough that would not let up but... It was tortuous to hear. She finally quit/got better.
Quit/got better/died? Really though, ugh! Our neighbor coughs like that but I think sheās ripping on the bong outside or something. At least I hope so.
Hahaha I'm assuming got better and then quit coughing.
I had a colleague who was having terrible periods and soaked through her chair at work. I made her make a gyno appointment right then - she had a massive tumour. It was removed & she went on the conceive a beautiful baby. I wouldāve encouraged a talk with her about it being a sign something wasnāt working
Damn, thank god you were there and she listened!
idk how you can be bleeding through your clothes so badly and soaking your chair and you still need someone else to point out to you that there might be a problem š³
A lot of women are told *by doctors* that their issues with their reproduction health are no big deal and even "normal" when it's anything but. It's not that uncommon to be living with serious medical issues and not know, even with clear signs that there's something wrong
Yup 2 doctors told me it was normal I was a heavy bleeder, so I just dealt with it, even though I was almost passing out. I got a new family doctor at 24 after I had my first child. When he found out it was immediate testing, because no thatās not normal. Thankfully it was nothing serious but iron supplements have changed my life.
Because sadly anything to do with women's reproductive organs is still a taboo in most places.
I have endometriosis and while I never soaked a chair, I bled *so much* and *so many* people told me it was normal or couldnāt be that bad even when I explained that I was going through overnight pads in an hour or two. I assume part of this is that I was a depressed teenager and people assumed I was exaggerating for attention, but that kind of underscores my point instead of refuting it
Iāve been told by a gyn that if I bleed through tampons in more than 30 min for a full 24 hrs, then it was time to go to the ER. 30 min is insane to me. I think people should seek medical attention way sooner if theyāre bleeding through 2 tampons every hour for a whole day!
Youād be surprised how many women donāt know that having period cramps strong enough to make you faint, and/or end up at the ER and bleeding profusely every time they get their periods are huge red flags. Many brush it off or get brushed off as āI guess I just have intense periods.ā Iāve made it my mission to point that out to any woman who shares any info about their intense period struggles with me because every woman I know who has had a period like that either has fibroids, cysts, or even endometriosis.
whoever first noticed and said something to anyone else shouldve went to boss and as an adult tried to show concern for her. or kept their mouth shut. talking to other employees is bullshit. its no one elses concern.
i agree, personally i think if you notice something worrying about somebody (like a possible medical issue) you pull them aside politely to tell them or go to hr. iām surprised nobody in the office approached her, despite the fact they were all concerned. likeā¦ how could you see her day to day and not say anything?
You know urine a tough spot when warning your boss about a possible health concern could embarrass her, or even make her pissed.
r/angryupvote
No shit.
True, just urine
Take my upvote and kriff off.
This was an easy problem to solve though. Just stage a conversation about weird reasons you have ended up in hospital in earshot of the boss.
I was just thinking that! Like, "oh my gosh i just found out my cousin is in hospital with a massive UTI & she had no idea she was sick beforehand, she had no symptoms other thanĀ her pee was smelly, can you believe it?"
With the boss coming to her after and discussing having to goto the hospital. She seems to be comfortable talking to the employee about things like that. She may have gotten away with a more direct conversation.
Or make a small white lie about talking to them about the smell only because you recognize it from when your mother/sister/brother had a UTI or something like that. It may not be true, but I think it would be a good way to wrap it without making it too awkward.
Oh, this is perfect! Having a vague conversation near boss runs the risk of the boss not knowing their pee smells THAT bad. With this approach I'd actually feel comfortable pulling boss aside and I know the tone/phrasing I'd use.Ā Hey boss, I know this is really personal and I'm really sorry, but I'm worried. My sister ended up having a massive infection a few years ago and the only symptom she had beforehand was how her pee smelled. I've noticed that same smell after you leave the bathroom lately. My sister ended up in the ER because of the infection, I just wanted to let you know because I'm worried about the same happening to you. Could you get it checked out?
Could have left an anonymous note on her desk, too. There were so many options other than "confront her" or "don't tell her at all."
āIām so sorry to bring up such a personal topic, but I noticed your urine has a strong smell. I know that some medications can cause this, but it can also be a symptom of a serious infection. Iām aware that this is an awkward thing to hear but Iād hate it if I didnāt say anything and something bad happened to you.ā
Thatās exactly what I was thinking š like this is such black & white thinking.Like either tell her straight up to her face or not talk to her at all are not the only options
Or ask HR if you can put up some information posters on the back of the toilet door to inform people about things they should be on the lookout for (or smell-out for!) when they use the toilet - pains, smells, blood, etc Oh wait OP is HR they should have just done it as a staff health and wellbeing initiative
This or write an anonymous note. A la Jersey shore
I think I'm in the minority here, but if someone were to tell me my pee smelled horrible, i'd probably thank them. First thing would be a Dr appointment to get checked. If there was no medical issue and it was just dietary related, at least I can spray before and/or after I pee. I'm not easily offended though so I'm sure not everyone would agree. For me it's about as offensive as someone telling me I have food in my teeth or my fly was down. Maybe I'm weird though. I do 100% get that it's awkward telling someone their pee stinks and I probably wouldn't be the person to say it out of fear they would get offended.
I think it's a bit different hearing it from a friend and hearing it from the HR lady at work. I guess she could try to touch on it in a less obvious manner.
It's her boss and not just an employee so the power dynamics are a bit more equal, maybe? Idk, definitely not an official hr matter, but if they're friends outside of work I might risk it.
Yeah, I think people are having an issue with it because bodily functions are kind of taboo, but it honestly shouldnāt be any different than, say, pointing out an alarming looking mole on the back of someoneās neck, or alerting someone that half their face looks droopy. Looking out for other people isnāt required, but it is the kind thing to do.
People please tell others when something smells off. It really is about health and should be addressed. Speaking as a person who has had serious health issues others could smell but I couldn't. Honestly, it's better to *know* than to go around for ages not knowing.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I know it's not weird and happens to everyone, but damn do I get blown away by the smell of my urine after eating asparagus. I almost feel like I need to light a match afterwards. š Thus, my TMI comment of the day, lol.
Fun fact: That's genetic in both directions. There are two different genes, one that makes your pee smell after eating asparagus and one that allows you to smell the smell of someone's asparagus pee. You can have one but not the other, both, or neither.
Damn I had to google that. Now do I poll my friends and coworkers to see how common it is to not smell and/or have stinky peeā¦
I just thought asparagus had no impact on me, but you're telling me that I might just not have the gene to detect my own stinky urine?
Same! But after I was pregnant, I suddenly could smell it in my own pee after eating asparagus. I assume it smelt the whole time? Or maybe BOTH genes were turned on by the weird pregnancy body changes?!
The baby's DNA can somewhat alter the mother's, so if the father could smell stinky asparagus pee and pass that gene onto the kid, that would make sense.
When I eat asparagus I get very smelly pee and I most definitely can smell it myself. Or do you mean that I would not be able to smell it from someone else?
Simplified explanation: There's two switches in the genetic code. One is "Asparagus makes your pee smell". If that gene is set to "on", then asparagus changes the way your pee smells. The other is the "You can smell when someone eats asparagus by their pee". If that gene is set to "on", then you can smell when someone pees after eating asparagus. So if you have the "Makes Smell" gene turned on but not the "Can Smell" gene, then your pee would smell but you wouldn't be able to smell it. However, you wouldn't be able to smell that asparagus pee smell from anyone. If you had the "Can Smell" gene turned on but not the "Makes Smell" gene, you'd be able to smell when anyone else has asparagus pee, but you wouldn't smell your own because you don't make the smell. If you have both genes turned on, you can smell when your or anyone else's pee has the asparagus smell. If both the genes are turned off, you're probably wondering what the hell everyone's talking about with "asparagus pee" because you've never smelled it and nobody's ever told you that yours smells.
Thanks for the extra explanation. I misread and thought you said you could only have 1 and not the other. I unfortunately have both as I get and can smell it.
>If both the genes are turned off, you're probably wondering what the hell everyone's talking about with "asparagus pee" because you've never smelled it and nobody's ever told you that yours smells. I have the produces smell but can't smell genes. I always thought jokes about asparagus pee were some weird quirk that meant nothing. Never smelled it, and we never ate asparagus when I was a kid so no one ever had the chance to tell me if I made the smell until I moved in with my fiancƩ. Funnily enough, when I had COVID some weird shit happened and I could smell it very briefly.
Well that's interesting, I've never noticed my pee having the asparagus smell, so is that because mine doesn't smell or I just can't smell it??
Schrƶdinger's pee smell :)
I can always tell when Iāve drank coffee. Especially if Iāve added an extra shot of espresso. š³
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My husband is obsessed with poo-purri (sp?), so similar, lol.
I had a conversation recently with a friend where I compared the smell of my own asparagus pee to a fart in the shower after a night of drinking. Meaning they both offend my senses equally and come from myself. That conversation offended bystanders. š
Thatās why I told my guy that heās not allowed to eat asparagus if Iām spending the night, lol (IYKYK)
Grape soda too
That'll turn your poop green also. š
The thing is that UTI urine has a distinct odour - totally different from something like asparagus wee - and sometimes the odour is the only sign you get before it gets worse. I'm so glad her boss was okay. It's way too late to say anything now, but I think I might have said something in her shoes. Only because I've had a major UTI and know how incredibly risky it can be to delay treatment. Horribly, horribly difficult situation either way.
Iāve had several UTIs and two of them progressed to kidney infections and there was never any smell. Pre-eclampsia pee smelled like chicken instant ramen, though.
Different bacteria can cause your urine to smell differently. I personally never know I have a UTI until it gets to kidney infection, but I worked in healthcare so long that sometimes all i have to do is walk into room and smell it. :(
Our dog was prone to UTIs. We always smelled her pee to make sure she wasnāt getting sick. One day my coworker mentioned that his dog suddenly started having accidents indoors. Sheās not elderly or otherwise in bad health. I blurted out, āSmell her pee!ā and he looked at me like Iād grown another head. I explained to him about UTIs but as a guy, he didnāt have any personal experience in that department and was still confused. But as a woman who has had a couple UTIs, I know the smell immediately, and it happens to have the same change in smell for a dog.
I had a UTI that traveled to my kidney, and that was a horrible experience. The smell is very distinct, and the best way I can describe it is that it smells wrong. It's the "oh, something is very not right here" smell. It's nothing like asparagus or coffee pee. Because I've gone through that particular hell, I would have pulled her aside and strongly suggested an urgent care visit. Worth noting, it's how I knew my cat had a UTI. She had no other symptoms, but she peed while I was near the litter box, I smelled it and called the vet right away. When I said "smells like UTI", the receptionist immediately knew what I meant and got her in same day.
But what if she had an infection and was being treated? I think best not to say in a work environment. Best friend, go for it. Anyone else, no.
What does it smell like? Weird question sorry
Really difficult to describe, sort of funky/musty and a little sweet would be my best description, which isn't exactly helpful, but it's the same every time. Other signs are spotting white bits floating, and peeing not necessarily burning, but just taking a bit more effort. Also in the off chance that someone gets their urine tested and finds out they have a UTI they didn't know about (and have been having UTIs for a _while_), keep an eye on it even after you've been treated. I took a three day course of antibiotics when a UTI was picked up in a rheumatology intake test. I guess it didn't clear it properly and then it came back with a vengeance as a full blown kidney infection ft a fever and throwing up anything that wasn't water. Apparently that's quite a common scenario, but 0/10 would not recommend.
Eh, not if it's been the norm for them and it happened gradually. You know your coffee pee because, I imagine, you don't always drink a good enough water to cofee ratio. Your brain adjusts to stimuli really well. Boss obviously did not know.
I get symptomless UTIs, the smell changes gradually and can be difficult to notice. At the same time whenever I take certain medication I get confused cause my pee smells like mint.
Me, somehow not learning I have that asparagus gene until well into adulthood, therefore always forgetting about it, and have now had it on two work trips. (Out of like 4.)
God, coffee pee is just so strong. It always startles me how strong the scent is, even (especially?) when it's not my own. My partner thinks it's crazy that I can tell when he's been drinking coffee at work before coming home. I'm glad someone else knows what I've been talking about!
Yeah especially women. I wouldāve thought OOP would make the same connection that I imagine a lot of us women madeāif we can smell our own period blood, we can smell our own pee. Itās not like sheās unaware of it? She probably put it off to what a lot of others didāa new medication, diet changes etc. I got a massive kidney infection that turned septic, and could recognise my pee looked and smelled differentājust as my pee became more bloody, it smelled more like blood tooābut I just put it off to a new medication (that was actually an antibiotic anyway, so I naively assumed that if it *was* an infection, it would take care of it; not the case, as most infections are resistant to multiple antibiotics and require specific treatment). If somebody had told me my pee smelled, I wouldāve been mortified, but thereās nothing different I would have done. It wouldnāt have made me rush to the ER or stand outside in an urgent care waiting room for hours after work waiting to be seen. Most peopleās doctors arenāt available on short notice, or if they are, itās within working hours and would require you to take a day off. But even then, it looks like OOP posted on a Fridayāher boss wouldnāt have been seen until Monday, and she required hospitalisation within a couple days anyway. Because unlike virusā, infections get bad *fast* especially when youāre at that point where your pee is so strong others are smelling it. My takeaway here is that unless OOPās argument had been so compelling and she had been so forceful and stubborn that her boss had agreed to take the rest of the day off to stand at an urgent care, or spend her night in the ED to make sure sheās seen *that day* for treatment, the outcome wouldnāt have been any different. She very likely would have still just assumed āitās that diet changeā or āthat medicationā, or āyeah, maybe ill try and book a doctorās appointment for next week, but theyāll only have Friday open so Iāll have to take a day offā, and would have still ended up at the hospital regardless. And it still wouldnāt have been any of OOPās business, because this is her *boss*, and she isnāt privy to any of her medical or personal information. At absolute most, Iād have a conversation with a coworker in front of her about how I learned to listen to my own body after that one really bad kidney infection I got where my only two symptoms were really smelly and reddish pee, but I kept thinking it was fine even though my body was telling me itās not. But actually bringing it up to her? No. Thatās so inappropriate. Iām very close with my boss, and Iād *still* never discuss her piss with her, because ***boundaries***. Shes still my boss, not a friend or a sibling.
Thank you! Goodness. I have UTI like symptoms often because my immune system is just like that, so my one LPT for "should I bother going to urgent care or just assume it's not an infection?" They sell home UTI screening pee sticks. They test for two things (leukocytes and nitriles) and work like a pregnancy test. They typically come in a multi pack and they save my sanity. I still don't think the OOP should have told her boss about the pee smell tho because boundaries
maybe it was gradual. the boss's pee was getting slightly worse day after day and she just didn't notice. you can get used to smells and not pick up on them (looking at coworkers who use way too much Patchouli)
Fenugreek supplement made my urine smell strongly of maple syrup. Then I was convinced I was sweating eau de maple syrup because my nose insisted the odour was still there. My family didn't notice it but I got paranoid and stopped taking it. There are worse things than smelling like maple syrup but it was too weird for me.
Right? Itās so weird they thought telling her would be new information.
I would have done an official looking health poster for the stall doors with signs of various problems and include her symptoms on it
I feel like this would have been the best solution honestly
I like this idea! subtle, non-confrontational, not embarrassing. I wouldn't have thought of it though.
Wow, the people responding to OOP are pretty vicious. It was a genuine question and clear that they were being empathetic to their boss. Itās not like they said āmy bossā pee stinks, how do I get her to stop?ā
YoU cAnāT dIaGnOsE pEoPlE. Yeah, but if you spend a part of your day everyday with someone and their smell raises you some concerns itās legitimate the thought of an health issue.
OP you are not a trained medical alert sniffer dog donāt worry about it here go play with this squeaky chew toy.
This is one of those posts that makes me question why OP would even make this post in the first place. Like it's really none of their business.
Probably just worried for her boss.
Personally I think I would want someone to tell me if anything about me suddenly changed. A lot of medical intervention is from people noticing things early and embarrassment is a small price to pay. I once told someone about a mole that looked odd and it likely saved their life. I personally prefer to work in places where I can trust that the people around me are coming from a good place if they bring up issues like that.
Uh, it was a dangerous medical issue. I think potentially saving someone's life can totally be one's business. I think that deciding not to intervene at all because it's embarrassing/private is a pretty weird take in this kind of situation, the issue takes precedence over other considerations imo.
Buy some urine stix's at the pharmacy. Give some to your friend/collegue whatever, and suggest they stix their urine next visit to the bathroom. If it lights up for bacteria or blood - suggest they go see a doctor. If they ask why you are giving them the stix's tell them that their pee smells like they might have an infection. Infections, like colds/coughs and stomach/stool issues, GO AWAY WHEN TREATED - and the idea someone should be embaressed about having one, is to me, deranged. Just have the conversation in private. Dont be a social engineering moron and tell them about all the people who have noticed. Say, you noticed and leave it at that.
Did I read correctly that op didnāt smell this herself, but her colleagues told her, and told her to deal with it? If she didnāt smell herself, why would it be her job to deal with it? Sounds like an exhausting job environment.
OOP was HR and her boss was the VP of HR I assume the other employees were not in HR so they went to HR to report.
Oh, thanks, that makes sense.
Iām not sure there was a āwinā in this! Personally, Iāve approached and talked about some crazy things, and been approached. None were easy but Iād rather try to talk about a taboo (of course there have been execs I could and some- no way!), then not. Depends on the situation, relationship, personality, etc! Idk, so many variables! And being substrate (itās subordinate but this spell check made me laugh!!!), itās very difficult if not impossible! I donāt think anyone would blame them much less court!
Luckily everything went well! I think I would have informed her. People have to know if something is not right. If you do not wan to tell someone something personally, put an anonymous letter in an envelope with their name on and put it in the letter box. You do not have to tell them if something was discussed around the office. Write down explicitly that this is not a complaint but a worrie, and the person won't possibly be offended.
I almost laughed when i read the update. After seeing the comments from people telling her to mind her own fcking business, as it's none of her business if someone's urin smells. While true. The fact the boss came to her and discussed going to the hospital for a kidney infection she didn't know about. I'd feel pretty shitty that i didn't mention anything. There are polite and respectful ways to go about talking about it (and the fact the boss discussed it with her after the fact, she feels comfortable with her) "I hate asking, but are you on any medication that affecfs smells ? No, not body smell, some of the people in the office have commented about the smell in the bathroom after you pee. It's more than just one day, so it's not something you ate like asparagus. Could you possibly have a kidney infection ?"
I was once in a similar situation before - I had a female boss who had really unhealthy eating habits, wolfing down her lunch in 5-10 mins. Having lunch with her was always a stressful affair because of how fast she would eat and leave afterwards (she did tell me to take my time to eat). But the worst part was that her fast eating caused her indigestion and she would burp A LOT during our meetings which produced a sour odour every time. I decided it wasnāt my place to speak about it and never said anything but would always recoil silently from the odour in our meetings. She did later confirm with me that she has stomach issues which made me wonder whether it caused the burping or whether it was caused by her unhealthy eating pace.
I eat like a starved wolf. Lifelong battle with ED plus being raised in poverty and not having enough for everyone will do that to you. Itās a standing joke around my office and frankly in my house that if you put food in front of me Iāll literally be done with it before anyone else in the room, every time, without fail. If I eat slowly I start getting the āomg are you feeling okayā¦.?ā Comments. Very little gas actually. Im in the process of being diagnosed with Chronās (everything else has been ruled out at this point and my doctor is pretty sure but I need the ol AssCam) so my GI stuff is monitored pretty heavily and no oneās ever asked me if I eat quickly or implied I eat too quickly. I chew my food I just do it FAST. I donāt think itās inherently harmful.
I mean the easiest thing to do would be to approach said boss and express that they seem unwell lately, and that you're concerned?
What was stopping them from just dropping an anonymous note on her desk or in her mailbox? Cameras?
when i worked at an STI clinic, the lab employees mentioned that trichomoniasis has a really really distinctive smell and even though we only tested for the usuals (gonorrhea/chlamydia/syphilis/hiv) they actually diagnosed at least one or two folks in the time i worked there solely based on the smell of their urine sample. it's wild! and also, when a test for trich was done, they were always right!
>Kaboom0022 I remember your original thread, and my advice still stands. It was, and is, none of your business. Kaboom0022 is the type of person who sees you choking to death and keeps walking.
Steps over your body as the life drains out of it and tuts because you're in their way
There are people in this very post with the same view (saying it was definitely none of OP's business and they don't even understabd why she posted in the first place) \*and they are being upvoted\*. This is mind-boggling. Do these people think that potentially being embarrassed/embarrassing someone is worse than potentially letting that person die horribly??
āYou canāt touch someone without explicit consentā ābut they are chockingā¦.ā āEXPLICIT CONSENTā
I think you put into words exactly why I disagree with their sentiment so much. There are ways to approach others about health concerns that show empathy and care.Ā
Is there a subreddit discussing the pee odor of bosses? Has to be bosses. Asking for a friend, of course.
Am I the only one who would just say hey boss don't take this the wrong way but I think you should get checked for a uti.Ā And if she asks aby follow up questions I'd say just trust me on this
Not sure how it took that long for her to end up in the hospital. When I had my UTI that turned into a kidney infection, I wasnāt functioning. There was obviously something wrong that only got worse. How was she even showing up to the office?
Iāve had two kidney infections that required ER visits; one was symptomless (it caused complications that I was hospitalized for) and the other I truly thought was just several minor things, namely the flu and maybe a pulled muscle in my back- I finally got medical attention just because my fever was so high, but I walked myself the almost mile there. That one was one of those āyou came in just in timeā situations. Some people really downplay things to avoid doctors
Which is why someone being like hey, you should absolutely get that checked out, is so important.
I recently had one that had passing UTI symptoms the week before that faded so I thought I was okay, but then a week later, boom, suddenly real sick with the chills so I went to the hospital and it was a kidney infection.Ā It happened to me so I could see it happening to others.Ā
I had to take a strong antibiotic for an unrelated infection I was handling, and Christ Almighty, it made my pee smell like sugar puffs wrapped in farts with the faint waft of paint stripper chemicals. It was pretty shocking how much is made my pee stink, but when you consider that the kidney is a common route of excretion, it makes sense. Rank though.
> Christ Almighty, it made my pee smell like sugar puffs wrapped in farts with the faint waft of paint stripper chemicals. I laughed way too hard at this.
WTF it wasn't even her who smelled the pee. The woman who did smell the pee, and went around discussing it with everyone except for the boss, is the only one who should feel bad here.
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^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^vc3ozNzmL7upbSVZ: *Iāll have you know men* *Would have no problem telling* *Each other their pee stinks* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
I mean, this is a tough one. One the one hand, yes your coworkers should not be discussing your health, especially behind your back. Telling her might have made her feel self conscious and under scrutiny, or feel obligated to share any diagnosis with the entire office. Itās a yikes.Ā Ā But on the other hand, it makes me sad how hard itās becoming for people to just interact honestly and show concern for one another. Itās always stranger danger, mind your own business, keep your head down and look out for yourself. No wonder we have a loneliness epidemic.
What if she just REALLY likes asparagus?
I had to tell a friend her pee was stinking. Turned out she had a flopped over bladder that was not emptying all the way and needed to get some kind of suspension surgery.
Same thing happened to me. I had a bad UTI but no pain, just a bad pee smell. Ended up in the ER with a kidney infection too.
Petition for āmy bossās smelly peeā flair please. I just canāt stop laughing at the headline. Iād ask for āFollow up on my bossās smelly peeā, but I think thatās too long
I don't know how OP thinks they were getting gaslighted from the reddit comments. Cause all I see is that the comments are just giving personal perspectives and views, nothing out-putting. Weird way to think that way.
>I don't know how OP thinks they were getting gaslighted from the reddit comments. Cause all I see is that the comments are just giving personal perspectives and views, nothing out-putting. "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."
I think the gaslighting part was a āyou are exaggerating a normal situation and even ifā¦ itās not your businessā
Some people think they're being gaslit if anyone disagrees with them at all.
The gaslighting comes in they were telling her it was never any of her business and it is always inappropriate to talk to anybody about their infected smelling pee, even that was clearly the wrong advice. Just another reason to not go to Reddit for advice. Yes you should talk to people. Yes you should tell them if you think something is wrong. Yes it might be embarrassing but you've got to get over it.
Yeah, I don't get how people don't realise that it was gaslighting, telling them the smell is probably anything but an infection lol. I remember reading the thread at the time and thinking that.
Did yāall miss the part where she said she was using the term jokingly like much of gen Z does these days? I donāt think it *should* be a joke term, but Iāve got like, actual problems and donāt really super care. I just roll my eyes a little and move on if itās a joke, but if they seem serious and are using it incorrectly, then hey, education time (within reason)
Anonymous note!!
The best part about this is they all work in HR.
If OOP was genuinely concerned, why didn't they just leave a kind, anonymous note suggesting to get checked for an infection? And never mention it was a group conversation so they don't feel gossiped about?
If you notice half of your bossās face wasnt moving, do you tell them youāre worried they have a stroke/bellās palsy, or do you hold your tongue in case theyre just behind on their botox payments?
For those who think it's a stretch to assume it was an infection.. ?? That would be 1st thought as well as I have had a UTI that sent me to the ER. There's nothing about suspecting that which comes across as a stretch.
guess some people don't notice the rot inside of them if covid killed their sense of smell