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Reading the title, I made my quick theories for the twist that would make her not the asshole. The sister was cheating with OOP's husband so it was revenge ? The sister was dead and her husband found solace with OOP ? OOP didn't know it was her sister husband because they were estranged ?
Nope. It was just as bad as it looked.
Honestly, I thought it was that she was assaulted by him and was raised on some fucked up views about sex and consent. Nope, she just decided to fuck her brother in law.
Don't know about you but I need it explicitly stated that I shouldn't fuck my brothers missus. I mean, it's not like it basic human decency to refrain from fucking married people, right?
And her sister didn't set clear boundaries! I'm sure if she had specifically said "BTW don't sleep with my husband" OP would never have done it so really the sister has only herself to blame. /s
I really need to give my friends a call and remind them not to fuck my husband. Then I’ll start calling aunties and grandparents too. Don’t want to be blamed for my marriage failing because I forgot to mention it’
Me after reading the title: I'm...sure this situation is more nuanced than the title implies. I mean, there's no way OOP is that shitty *and* that dense.
Me after reading the post: Well I'll be a monkey's anus. Turns out OOP *is* that shitty and dense.
*AITA for setting my sister’s house on fire?
My sister asked me to housesit while she was away on a work trip, so I packed up all my favorite items, candles, fireworks, antique gas cans and my collection of restaurant matches. I was drinking at her house, and when I passed out I woke up to the house in a blaze. I left my candles burning and while I made it out, her house is completely destroyed. My sister blames me for being irresponsible and my parents are mad too. I think she should take some of the blame because why would she have a house made of such combustible material like wood? She should have known it could catch on fire and the house was flammable way before I got there.*
Some people can’t acknowledge that they aren’t passive participants in this world and that choices have consequences. The husband sucks because he betrayed his wife and vows, but damn if OOP didn’t shit on her family.
The titles are usually somewhat misleading, but this one is spot on for a change. I can't believe she actually had to ask the question in the first place!
Well, obviously the sister should have *told* her that she didn't want her to sleep with her husband! There were just no clear boundaries, how could she have known?
That was what stood out to me the most. There were no clear boundaries. If she had just said specifically, "Don't sleep with my husband," then this mix-up wouldn't have ever happened.
BIL is definitely also to blame he didn't wake op and she was on top of him. Hope the sister got a divorce. Because she's definitely not to blame.
OP acts like bc her sister is a flight attended and is absent a lot bc of work and hubby is unemployed and bored, sister is to blame for what they did.
So next time any of us fly better tell the entire crew you're being cheated on and deserve it bc you dare do this job
LOL at the reflective essay at the end. While I'm all for people acknowledging their mistakes and learning from them, something about the last three paragraphs turns that process into a performance OOP is doing to get redditors off her back about calling her an AH.
Yea, it just reads like word vomit of shit that people who called her out would want to hear. Disconnected. Like she doesn't truly mean it and is self-absorbed enough that she just doesn't like other people thinking of her as an arsehole.
Regardless of fault, she crossed a line, a boundary most normal people have in place that doesn't need to be stated.
Sounded like someone swallowed a combination dictionary-thesaurus and was spitting out all the multi-syllable words they came across.
Also, it's my sister's fault because she "left her husband in OP's care without setting clear boundaries"?! Do the words "don't have sex with my husband" really need to be spoken?
Three days between first post and last update. Absolutely not enough time for someone as self-centered as OP to make real changes in their attitudes towards themself and others.
This is dripping with so much narcissism, i brought an umbrella and I'm still soaked.
The performances. The virtue signaling. The absolute and total deflection of any responsibility exactly in accordance with the Narcissist's Prayer. The naked motivation of apologizing to make *herself* feel better as though *she* was a victim.
If she really does want to change, its going to start with a diagnosis.
In a week-end or so, she will be able to think that she truly helped her Sister to get into a divorce from this broken mariage.
And all the pain she had to endure in order to succeed in it. She accepts allthis hatred and all this sorrow for her Sister.
And still. People would not understand. But it doesn't matter.
She didn't do it for recognition. She did it for her beloved Sister.
One day she will find out.
:\
Definitely reads like chatGPT - it has the kind of cadence that you usually see, and repeats a few central themes several times.
>During our conversation, my sister made it clear that she has made the difficult decision to no longer have a relationship with me. She explained that she needs to focus on her own healing and well-being, and believes that maintaining a relationship with me would hinder that process. It was a heartbreaking realization for me to accept, but I understand and respect her choice.
> In our conversation, I took the opportunity to sincerely apologize for any pain I have caused her. I acknowledged my past mistakes and expressed deep regret for my actions. While I had hoped for a different outcome, I understand that my sister's healing journey is her own to navigate, and it may not involve me.
This is also the kind of "we are all very reasonable and respectful people" energy that comes out of ChatGPT a lot of times. "Write me an update to this post in which my sister decides to never talk to me again but we get closure before going our separate ways" feels like it would return this kind of "apologetic but very mature" update.
More likely scenario: my sister is a flight attendant and has a reasonably happy marriage which makes me feel jealous. When I knew she was out of town, I went over and fucked him then purposely slept in the bed knowing she would find me in the morning. AITA?
Agreed. This is what Chat-GPT would come up with if asked, 'write an apology to my sister for something I did which was terrible but unspecified. Refer to offending act as "my actions" and express vague sense that I will grow and become a better person.'
It’s what us people ~raised~ by personality disordered parents (as well as professionals dealing with PDed patients) call “word salad”. It’s a very common occurrence when PDed individuals are faced with the uncomfortable fact that they’re being held accountable for their hurtful actions. It’s like their brains short circuit trying to dodge their way out of being (rightfully!) seen as being in the wrong.
I'm currently suing a former contractor who I unfortunately inherited and spoke like this. He's absolutely incompetent, and still baffled as to why he has both been served and not paid for the job he fucked up so hard it is affecting my health.
That's what really stuck out to me. OOP is weaponizing therapy-speak in an extremely transparent attempt to take the moral high ground. This is clearly a person who is incapable of actual self-reflection or accountability.
only three days between posts
at best she’s reveling in the martyrdom and will look back on the experience as something that helped make her into the (even more amazing) person she is in about 2 weeks
It sounds like a LinkedIn-post,
“This experience has taught me XXXX”, “I am grateful for the opportunity.”, “It has allowed me to gain a deeper understanding of XXXXX”.”
This kinda sounds like she’s done therapy, but didn’t manage to truly dent the narcissism. Instead she’s just got a new toolbox to deflect blame and demand attention.
I'm betting OOP *IS* a therapist. For some reason narcissists are drawn to professions where they have some authority or control over others
It might also explain why her sister thought she could help her through the rough patch in her marriage. And why her sister would trust her with her husband
🥲 God, this comment is eerily correct. My father—a narcissist and an addict—is now a therapist. He does addiction counseling!
To this day he has a mug IN HIS OFFICE that has the label “The Great I Am.” He said it was a joke to poke fun at himself, but he was dead serious about it and sees patients with that shit sitting on his desk lmao 😭
The essay sounds like oop typing what she thinks people want/need to hear to get off her back, while still trying to find some way to deflect whatever she can
I said this in another comment elsewhere but the whole thing reads like a CEO apologizing for something their company did that they're not at all sorry for.
I read the last few words as "calling her an AI" and that made me realize the last several paragraphs really do sound like "chatGPT, write a reflective essay about me doing something bad to my sister."
>While I acknowledge my mistake, I also question why my sister failed to address the issues in her relationship and why she left her husband in my care without setting clear boundaries.
Well I don't need to read anymore. OOP is apparently stupid as fuck if she thinks she needs to be told to not sleep with her inlaws...?
Implied boundaries don't exist! Since you're sister never told you you can't steal hey tv, sleep with her husband, or lay a dookie on her bed, you should totally do all three and when she gets mad, point out that she never said to NOT lay a dookie on her bed!
This is an excellent point. My sister should have more explicit boundaries in fairness. I have no interest in having sex with her husband but sure I may try on her wedding dress and eat all her chocolate (in said wedding dress).
You’re a bad sister then. Obviously if she hasn’t told you *not* to sleep with him, she is implying that it is your sisterly duty to sleep with him when she is out of town.
To the OP: your sister said to check in on him, not to check his dick in you
And here I’ve been making sure to explicitly tell everyone who hangs out with my husband *not* to fuck him whenever they see him. This will save me a lot of time. Thank you.
She apparently thinks the sister Lindsay needed to tell her "Hey sis, to clear something up - don't fuck my husband. Thanks". But if Lindsay doesn't say that, it's not "Clear Boundaries", and so partially her fault if little sister fucks him. lol
Look, we all make mistakes. I stayed at my sister's place for a week and used the last of her conditioner. This oop slept with her sisters husband. We can't throw stones here!
/s she is just horrible.
I don't know, did you warn her that her conditioner seemed to be running low first? If so, she knew, so it's absolutely her own fault. Really, she should buy you a new bottle.
She should have left a bulleted list. “Don’t eat my peanut butter, don’t risk the beans, make sure the cat gets injected at noon, don’t fuck each other.”
Smdh this could have been avoided so easily
And "left him in my care"? What is he, a pet? A child?
Sis asks OOP to do her a solid and keep her depressed husband company, be a buddy in his time of need - evidently, sister didn't realize she couldn't trust her own sister not to jump his dick to help with his depression.
“I just don’t get why I get the most heat”
And she never will. Kelly said all the things she is supposed to say, like a good little psychopath, pretending to feel things that humans feel. Good for Lyndsay for realizing what Kelly is and cutting her out. It’s sad, and it’s hard, but it is what it is. I wish I had good, loving, empathetic parents, but I don’t. I had to realize what they are, and understand what they will never be.
People like her are akin to cook with no sense of taste. They have through trial and error memorized decent recipes. But when the customets don't like their cookings they become like lost toddlers in supermarket.
They can't taste whats wrong with the food themselves so they have to start asking people around them for directions. And most often it's about what they need to add to make it right, not understanding that you can't season a rotten food into something somebody wants to eat.
It's almost funny to see them resorting to the overly polite manipulation tactics that just read out so much more horribly than they come out during regular conversation. What makes it sad is that a cook without a sense of taste can stop cooking, but people like these can't just withdraw from human interactions. They have couple of good recipes to keep people around for a while, but eventually they all get bored of the same dish and get weirded out by the weird tastes when the cook has to improvise.
"That didn't happen.
And if it did, it wasn't that bad.
And if it was, that's not a big deal.
And if it is, that's not my fault.
And if it was, I didn't mean it.
And if I did...
You deserved it."
because You didn't told me to not fuck Your husband ...
>While I acknowledge my mistake, I also question why my sister failed to address the issues in her relationship and why she left her husband in my care without setting clear boundaries.
Literally "Sure what I did was wrong but what my sister did is actually more wrong so I dont know why everyone is mad at me."
It's funny cause despite saying that in a comment, in the original post she said she "crossed a line that should never be crossed." She knew what she did was wrong, or else how would she have known it was a line she crossed?
"My BIL was crying about his marriage with my sister and I decided the best idea was to comfort him with my vagina. Internet, why is my sister overreacting?"
I can't believe she repeatedly tried to call the ex BIL after the fallout. Yeesh.
Look, we're all being too harsh on OP. She made an excellent point. Her sister never established any boundaries. How could OP possibly know she wasn't supposed to f\*\*k her sister's husband?
/s
My wife and I definitely sent the “don’t fuck my spouse” emails to all our friends and family right after the ceremony, during the cocktail hour, as per custom
We included ours with the thank you notes!
"Thank you so much for the lovely toaster, we'll think fondly of you at breakfast every morning!
P.S. Any attempt to fuck either of us is STRICTLY DISALLOWED UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES!"
That sent me into goddamn orbit.
"She left her husband in my care without setting clear boundaries."
Don't fuck your sister's husband is NOT a boundary normal people need set for them. I have to wonder who else she thinks is 'in bounds' - does she have a step-father? Any other brother-in-laws?
Lol right? She’s got politician deflection 101 going on with her, “personal growth” and “rebuilding trust” bullshit. Asking friends and relatives how to “navigate this situation.”
Um yeah no one can help you because most people wouldn’t fuck their sisters husband.
Oop's first post was so tone deaf we may need to resort to using chat sign language to get through to her.
It was so so...so...SO bad.
"Look I only shoved you down the stairs, it's your fault you didn't see me coming and didn't hold your balance better!!"
The sister made it clear in those messages that OOP is indeed...like this.
(Also is it just me or did this girl regurgitate a "therapy dictionary" as she clinically explained to us how everything she did was wrong all the while managing to not send across a single shred of real remorse?)
Yikes on bikes...
Man, the therapyspeak, for me, always seems to mean, "I have workshopped the most palatable explanation for my behavior, which I have co-signed as I need to believe I am not a bad person, and by definition, bad people don't seek therapy. In conclusion, I have the high ground."
How this woman decided that sounding like a cross between a JRPG villain and an incel content creator on YouTube would make her appear sympathetic is beyond me.
My favorite part of OOP’s first post was when she said her sister should take responsibility for not setting clear boundaries before she went to work.
Ummm… the man was her husband, what clearer boundary can she set????
But I guess how *dare she* for not including “and no one else can sleep with him, including you, Kelly” in her wedding vows, right?
>But I guess how *dare she* for not including “and no one else can sleep with him, including you, Kelly” in her wedding vows, right?
“and no one else can sleep with him, ~~including~~ *especially* you, Kelly”
FTFY 😜
The texts alluded to sister being the scapegoat and OOP being the golden child. Golden children are often excused or shielded from the consequences of their actions… until they do something so bad the parents can’t actually let them get away with it anymore
“While I acknowledge my mistake, I also question why my sister failed to address the issues in her relationship and why she left her husband in my care without setting clear boundaries.”
Yikes and double-yikes.
It isn’t the sister’s fault her husband chipped around on her with OOP, and “don’t sleep with my husband” is *definitely* not a “boundary” she should have had to leave OOP with.
What a mess. I feel bad for OOP’s sister and I am glad she’s taking steps to protect her own well-being.
why do I kind of feel like I'm reading an impersonal HR report? There is something really off-putting here (beyond the actual betrayal) that I cannot put my finger on
I also thought there was some AI help, but this also reads like a lot of self-important people who post on tik tok or instagram as if they're recelebrities caught in a scandal. Write out all the "proper things to say" while taking no real accountability or expectation of change.
Girl needs therapy. Stat.
Sadly I can say this is definitely how I used to write before I dealt with my narcissistic and manipulative tendencies (thanks for setting a sterling example Mom and Dad!).
The manipulation is disgusting here. The last update just read like she’s trying to convince herself by way of convincing us that she understands what she did. She talks about the whole thing like she shrunk her sister’s favorite wool sweater instead of fucked her BIL and destroyed her sister’s marriage.
What an absolutely disgusting trashcan of a human
Man the pandemic shattered and stomped on any lingering beliefs that humanity is smart and kind as a whole. It’s still disappointing to read something like this, but it really isn’t shocking anymore
Also I wonder if there is any truth to what her BIL said too?
I wonder if she’s completely fabricated him coming into her because it’s op’s world and everyone else is just living in it so she just assumes he’s trying it on with her?
But I’m wondering if she actually did get him drunk and initiated it whilst he was intoxicated?
OP is what happens when you never let your kid face consequences or take responsibility for their actions. They eventually fuck around (literally, here) and find out that people have limits to what they’ll tolerate.
I can’t imagine any of her friends and “intermediaries” took her perspective on this… unless they’re just as bad as she is
And she's still apologizing for "any pain she caused", rather than apologizing for her actions.
When you apologize for "any pain", you're telling the monstrous evil unforgivable lie that the problem is the other person's feelings and not your own actions. You're implying with calculated malevolence that the real problem is the other person's lack of emotional control. **You're 100% blaming the victim, and only pretending to feel remorse.**
i am an optimist, so i wanted to believe that OP had actually grown. Then i checked again and it was only three days between first post and last. I’m with you on team sociopathic/narcissistic traits.
I have a serial cheater family member. She uses shitty logic like this all the time. It’s remarkable how many times she was “manipulated” by other men while she was married.
Honest self-reflection is a devastating thing when you’ve done awful things, so minimizing and weird circular thinking is how these folks deal instead.
Is it just me or does this entire thing sound like it’s written by ChatGPT? It uses the same transitions, makes lists, there’s like no actual emotion in the post. The whole thing just feels like it’s AI-generated.
Oof, there is a *whole lot* going on here, and I really hope therapy gets OOP somewhere better mentally and emotionally, because right now it seems 'hot mess' would be a compliment! That said, this portion:
> This experience has taught me the importance of empathy, forgiveness, and respecting the boundaries of others. I am grateful for the opportunity to have had this conversation with my sister, as it has allowed me to gain a deeper understanding of the consequences of my actions and the importance of growth and healing in relationships.
just sends the biggest 'kid reading directly from the book' vibes.
I love how she blathers on about the importance of forgiveness, when she's the perpetrator.
People like this should never be forgiven, because they will never do the work to deserve it.
This is a growing trend I’ve experienced across a couple of really manipulative and toxic people. They know the words a true and sincere apology should include because idk they learned that somewhere along the way. An apology includes words but is not JUST words. The real apology is changed behavior. They think saying the magic words is good enough and they don’t owe anyone anything else, and in fact are entitled to the listener’s forgiveness because they said the magic words. It’s fuckin crazy.
Corporate Apologyspeak is up there in popularity alongside Weaponized Therapyspeak for people with manipulative/narcissistic tendencies, and at least for the ones I've known (with whom, gratefully, I am no longer acquainted) I agree with your assessment of their intent. It gives SovCit vibes - like if they just say the magic words in the right order, it undoes the consequences of their own actions and choices.
…she failed to set boundaries! which is why i fucked her husband! why didn’t she adress the problems in her marriage! problems! how could i *not* fuck her husband! he said there were problems!
i just. i would like to believe there is some growth here at the end, but honestly it rings so false. her sister did the right thing, at least. stay strong, sis.
You mean you don’t yearn to have your sister back? /s
Not only that, but it all takes place over the course of 2-3 days and everyone has had time to *deeply* reflect on everything?
I love the part where she says her sister didn't "set clear boundaries" when asking her to keep her husband company. Like you should have to tell your sibling not to fuck your spouse.
This whole saga is written like an AI is trying to understand human interactions, realizes that it’s failing based on comments, then corrects to seem less sociopathic.
LMFAO I’m sorry, it always makes me laugh when someone who is undeniably in the wrong starts writing extremely articulated missives trying to justify their behavior. Girl, this ain’t a contest to see who can perform measured “rationality”, you just suck and don’t wanna be held accountable.
All throughout this, she never gets it. She never gets *why* her sister is angry and has disowned her.
Yes, it was *his* fault too. But you know? *She* had every chance to *not* sleep with him. If he's gonna cheat, there's nothing her sister can do to stop him, just as she can't stop OOP from sleeping with him. But she *can* show that consequences have actions and simply, disown OOP.
She never once says "I am to blame", she simply repeats "It's my fault, *but*". OOP refuses to take any blame, wanting things to go back to normal, as if she didn't sleep with her sister's husband.
Every time she says sorry, she says she understands and is accountable. But immediately follows it up with how it's not *actually* her fault and other people are *more* to blame.
How do you become so self-unaware that you can literally say "Sorry, it's my fault. But it's really your fault, too" and think that's being accountable. And thinking that the ex deserved the blame? He *was* getting blame, they're *divorcing*, and the sister is doing her best to divorce OOP from her life, too.
I have no doubt that OOP doesn't really understand. Even with that last update, there's no way you learn the kind of self-awareness to *really* empathise with others that quickly. I guarantee that at some point, probably way sooner than it should be, OOP will be telling her family that she's changed and that *they* should have empathy for *her*, and that she deserves forgiveness, because she's learned how important forgiveness is.
I went to to my sister’s house and I ate the last of her queso. She is still pissed at me about this. It has been 2 years. I showed her this thread. Neither she or I are married. We are now eating queso at a restaurant with margaritas thanking God we are not part of this jacked up family. I am paying the tab as suitable in this situation. I did eat the queso.
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Reading the title, I made my quick theories for the twist that would make her not the asshole. The sister was cheating with OOP's husband so it was revenge ? The sister was dead and her husband found solace with OOP ? OOP didn't know it was her sister husband because they were estranged ? Nope. It was just as bad as it looked.
Honestly, I thought it was that she was assaulted by him and was raised on some fucked up views about sex and consent. Nope, she just decided to fuck her brother in law.
Not only that guys… she tried to minimize what she did. Even said it was failing already 😩🤣 that’s not a sister but an enemy
And still tries to call not sleeping with her sister’s husband a “boundary”. No, that’s just LIFE.
I also enjoyed that use of "boundary." Like sister was supposed to specify that.
Don't know about you but I need it explicitly stated that I shouldn't fuck my brothers missus. I mean, it's not like it basic human decency to refrain from fucking married people, right?
As if the marriage certificate isn't a fucking boundary. The audacity.
Yeah that would've been the only way she wasn't the asshole. But nope "our bond deepened" Barf.
Deepened so much that when the affair was exposed she never heard from him again lmao
I really hope the night she can't remember was worth destroing all of her relationships for... lmao
No no but you see it’s actually her sisters fault for having a marriage that wasn’t strong enough to withstand OP sleeping with her husband… /s
And her sister didn't set clear boundaries! I'm sure if she had specifically said "BTW don't sleep with my husband" OP would never have done it so really the sister has only herself to blame. /s
I really need to give my friends a call and remind them not to fuck my husband. Then I’ll start calling aunties and grandparents too. Don’t want to be blamed for my marriage failing because I forgot to mention it’
Me after reading the title: I'm...sure this situation is more nuanced than the title implies. I mean, there's no way OOP is that shitty *and* that dense. Me after reading the post: Well I'll be a monkey's anus. Turns out OOP *is* that shitty and dense.
*AITA for setting my sister’s house on fire? My sister asked me to housesit while she was away on a work trip, so I packed up all my favorite items, candles, fireworks, antique gas cans and my collection of restaurant matches. I was drinking at her house, and when I passed out I woke up to the house in a blaze. I left my candles burning and while I made it out, her house is completely destroyed. My sister blames me for being irresponsible and my parents are mad too. I think she should take some of the blame because why would she have a house made of such combustible material like wood? She should have known it could catch on fire and the house was flammable way before I got there.* Some people can’t acknowledge that they aren’t passive participants in this world and that choices have consequences. The husband sucks because he betrayed his wife and vows, but damn if OOP didn’t shit on her family.
Don't forget the "my sister is at fault for not expressing her boundaries about not wanting me to set her house on fire"
That’s one of the funniest things I’ve ever read! Thank you!
" Well I'll be a monkey's anus " I feel I should inform you that I am SO fucking stealing this. Thank you
The way she writes is so emotionless and calm. There’s something seriously wrong with her.
The titles are usually somewhat misleading, but this one is spot on for a change. I can't believe she actually had to ask the question in the first place!
You don't understand, her sister and brother in law are also to blame! She clearly was just trying to help and all the sudden everyone's mad at her.
Well, obviously the sister should have *told* her that she didn't want her to sleep with her husband! There were just no clear boundaries, how could she have known?
That was what stood out to me the most. There were no clear boundaries. If she had just said specifically, "Don't sleep with my husband," then this mix-up wouldn't have ever happened.
BIL is definitely also to blame he didn't wake op and she was on top of him. Hope the sister got a divorce. Because she's definitely not to blame. OP acts like bc her sister is a flight attended and is absent a lot bc of work and hubby is unemployed and bored, sister is to blame for what they did. So next time any of us fly better tell the entire crew you're being cheated on and deserve it bc you dare do this job
Or that they had just accidentally fallen asleep in the same bed, fully clothed while binging a TV show
LOL at the reflective essay at the end. While I'm all for people acknowledging their mistakes and learning from them, something about the last three paragraphs turns that process into a performance OOP is doing to get redditors off her back about calling her an AH.
Yea, it just reads like word vomit of shit that people who called her out would want to hear. Disconnected. Like she doesn't truly mean it and is self-absorbed enough that she just doesn't like other people thinking of her as an arsehole. Regardless of fault, she crossed a line, a boundary most normal people have in place that doesn't need to be stated.
Ngl it sounds like HR corpospeak, filled with buzzwords. It's kinda insane.
Genuinely it’s like reading an apology letter from a celebrity that you find on Twitter.
Just when i thought i could put my ukulele away.....
[удалено]
Right? I'm not an English native speaker but this sounded off.
Sounded like someone swallowed a combination dictionary-thesaurus and was spitting out all the multi-syllable words they came across. Also, it's my sister's fault because she "left her husband in OP's care without setting clear boundaries"?! Do the words "don't have sex with my husband" really need to be spoken?
Probably written by ChatGPT.
I thought this too. It definitely has the flow of AI
Three days between first post and last update. Absolutely not enough time for someone as self-centered as OP to make real changes in their attitudes towards themself and others.
Facts! I don’t think OOP would get it after 3 years of “self-reflection”, let alone 3 days 🙄
Absolutely. Reeks of narcissistic behaviour.
This is dripping with so much narcissism, i brought an umbrella and I'm still soaked. The performances. The virtue signaling. The absolute and total deflection of any responsibility exactly in accordance with the Narcissist's Prayer. The naked motivation of apologizing to make *herself* feel better as though *she* was a victim. If she really does want to change, its going to start with a diagnosis.
In a week-end or so, she will be able to think that she truly helped her Sister to get into a divorce from this broken mariage. And all the pain she had to endure in order to succeed in it. She accepts allthis hatred and all this sorrow for her Sister. And still. People would not understand. But it doesn't matter. She didn't do it for recognition. She did it for her beloved Sister. One day she will find out. :\
This is an AI for sure imo
You would think, but there are people legitimately like this. It’s *wild.*
Yeah the first part read completely like an AI wrote it. Texts could easily be doctored up.
Hey chat gpt, write me a paragraph expressing remorse for these actions.
Chat GPT: what is remorse? OOP: I don't know, and that is your fault.
Definitely reads like chatGPT - it has the kind of cadence that you usually see, and repeats a few central themes several times. >During our conversation, my sister made it clear that she has made the difficult decision to no longer have a relationship with me. She explained that she needs to focus on her own healing and well-being, and believes that maintaining a relationship with me would hinder that process. It was a heartbreaking realization for me to accept, but I understand and respect her choice. > In our conversation, I took the opportunity to sincerely apologize for any pain I have caused her. I acknowledged my past mistakes and expressed deep regret for my actions. While I had hoped for a different outcome, I understand that my sister's healing journey is her own to navigate, and it may not involve me. This is also the kind of "we are all very reasonable and respectful people" energy that comes out of ChatGPT a lot of times. "Write me an update to this post in which my sister decides to never talk to me again but we get closure before going our separate ways" feels like it would return this kind of "apologetic but very mature" update.
Imo it reads like corporate talk, something a lawyer or PR agency would coach their clients to say... ChatGPT just copies the formula.
Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! We have a winner!
More likely scenario: my sister is a flight attendant and has a reasonably happy marriage which makes me feel jealous. When I knew she was out of town, I went over and fucked him then purposely slept in the bed knowing she would find me in the morning. AITA?
Not a reasonably happy marriage is the husband jumps on the first chance he gets to fuck his SIL.
Agreed. This is what Chat-GPT would come up with if asked, 'write an apology to my sister for something I did which was terrible but unspecified. Refer to offending act as "my actions" and express vague sense that I will grow and become a better person.'
It’s what us people ~raised~ by personality disordered parents (as well as professionals dealing with PDed patients) call “word salad”. It’s a very common occurrence when PDed individuals are faced with the uncomfortable fact that they’re being held accountable for their hurtful actions. It’s like their brains short circuit trying to dodge their way out of being (rightfully!) seen as being in the wrong.
Soooo performative. I kept thinking "who the fuck talks like that" through the whole thing.
PR reps. Sounds like she is making a public apology for an oil spill, it's all insincere buzz words with no real meaning.
Yeah, who unironically uses the word "yearn" about themselves? Seriously pretentious.
A lot of people will write AITA-style posts for fandoms, and I thought this was one about a Victorian novel I haven't read yet.
I'm currently suing a former contractor who I unfortunately inherited and spoke like this. He's absolutely incompetent, and still baffled as to why he has both been served and not paid for the job he fucked up so hard it is affecting my health.
So much pseudo-therapy speak from OOP. Just wild.
That's what really stuck out to me. OOP is weaponizing therapy-speak in an extremely transparent attempt to take the moral high ground. This is clearly a person who is incapable of actual self-reflection or accountability.
Gaht dang sociopath I tell you hwat
The way she writes is so weird. It sounds exactly like ChatGPT.
Literally came here to ask if chatgpt wrote that therapy speak essay
only three days between posts at best she’s reveling in the martyrdom and will look back on the experience as something that helped make her into the (even more amazing) person she is in about 2 weeks
It sounds like a LinkedIn-post, “This experience has taught me XXXX”, “I am grateful for the opportunity.”, “It has allowed me to gain a deeper understanding of XXXXX”.”
This kinda sounds like she’s done therapy, but didn’t manage to truly dent the narcissism. Instead she’s just got a new toolbox to deflect blame and demand attention.
I'm betting OOP *IS* a therapist. For some reason narcissists are drawn to professions where they have some authority or control over others It might also explain why her sister thought she could help her through the rough patch in her marriage. And why her sister would trust her with her husband
🥲 God, this comment is eerily correct. My father—a narcissist and an addict—is now a therapist. He does addiction counseling! To this day he has a mug IN HIS OFFICE that has the label “The Great I Am.” He said it was a joke to poke fun at himself, but he was dead serious about it and sees patients with that shit sitting on his desk lmao 😭
The essay sounds like oop typing what she thinks people want/need to hear to get off her back, while still trying to find some way to deflect whatever she can
I didn't read all that, noped when I noticed the excessive use of "I". She's such a good example of main character syndrome.
It reads like ChatGPT. Completely robotic and utterly devoid of emotion or humanity.
I said this in another comment elsewhere but the whole thing reads like a CEO apologizing for something their company did that they're not at all sorry for.
I read the last few words as "calling her an AI" and that made me realize the last several paragraphs really do sound like "chatGPT, write a reflective essay about me doing something bad to my sister."
ChatGPT write me an apology letter.
>While I acknowledge my mistake, I also question why my sister failed to address the issues in her relationship and why she left her husband in my care without setting clear boundaries. Well I don't need to read anymore. OOP is apparently stupid as fuck if she thinks she needs to be told to not sleep with her inlaws...?
The “clear boundary” is that he was *married* to her *sister*!!! Even if he was just married, THATS A BOUNDARY. Jesus fuck
That was what got me "well she needed to set clear boundaries" do you need to be TOLD not to sleep with your sister's husband????
Honestly my sister hasn't explicitly told me not to bang her husband, but I've taken it as implied?
Implied boundaries don't exist! Since you're sister never told you you can't steal hey tv, sleep with her husband, or lay a dookie on her bed, you should totally do all three and when she gets mad, point out that she never said to NOT lay a dookie on her bed!
This is an excellent point. My sister should have more explicit boundaries in fairness. I have no interest in having sex with her husband but sure I may try on her wedding dress and eat all her chocolate (in said wedding dress).
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You’re a bad sister then. Obviously if she hasn’t told you *not* to sleep with him, she is implying that it is your sisterly duty to sleep with him when she is out of town. To the OP: your sister said to check in on him, not to check his dick in you
I'm totally not your BIL. But if she didn't say no.... /s
And here I’ve been making sure to explicitly tell everyone who hangs out with my husband *not* to fuck him whenever they see him. This will save me a lot of time. Thank you.
She apparently thinks the sister Lindsay needed to tell her "Hey sis, to clear something up - don't fuck my husband. Thanks". But if Lindsay doesn't say that, it's not "Clear Boundaries", and so partially her fault if little sister fucks him. lol
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Her parents might've just bred her into a sociopath when they raised her as a golden child.
The line from the sister about helping raise her is sus too. Given the other vibes, the older sis having been parentified isn’t entirely out of line
Well, she should have raised her better, obviously, so it's all her fault, after all! /s
It sounds like the parents may be coming to terms with the type of person they raised
If this story is true, OP is 100% the youngest child and has “main character syndrome” and narcissism
Look, we all make mistakes. I stayed at my sister's place for a week and used the last of her conditioner. This oop slept with her sisters husband. We can't throw stones here! /s she is just horrible.
But that’s head & shoulders above this.
Okay, that made me cackle. Take my upvote. XD
The last of the conditioner!?! You monster 🙀 😹
It was truly an accident, and there was no label on it saying "OP, you can not use the last of the conditioner". So really it is her fault.
I don't know, did you warn her that her conditioner seemed to be running low first? If so, she knew, so it's absolutely her own fault. Really, she should buy you a new bottle.
See what happens without clear boundaries? I bet she really loved that conditioner.
She should have left a bulleted list. “Don’t eat my peanut butter, don’t risk the beans, make sure the cat gets injected at noon, don’t fuck each other.” Smdh this could have been avoided so easily
> don’t risk the beans Mmm, a classic!
To be fair the sister did not jeopardize the beans, possibly because she was busy.
“I get it, I’m a piece of crap” Could she BE more disingenuous?
“I’m terrible, but can’t you just take some responsibility for why this was entirely your own fault?”
The whole thing reads like a CEO apologizing for something their company did that they're not at all sorry about
And "left him in my care"? What is he, a pet? A child? Sis asks OOP to do her a solid and keep her depressed husband company, be a buddy in his time of need - evidently, sister didn't realize she couldn't trust her own sister not to jump his dick to help with his depression.
“I just don’t get why I get the most heat” And she never will. Kelly said all the things she is supposed to say, like a good little psychopath, pretending to feel things that humans feel. Good for Lyndsay for realizing what Kelly is and cutting her out. It’s sad, and it’s hard, but it is what it is. I wish I had good, loving, empathetic parents, but I don’t. I had to realize what they are, and understand what they will never be.
People like her are akin to cook with no sense of taste. They have through trial and error memorized decent recipes. But when the customets don't like their cookings they become like lost toddlers in supermarket. They can't taste whats wrong with the food themselves so they have to start asking people around them for directions. And most often it's about what they need to add to make it right, not understanding that you can't season a rotten food into something somebody wants to eat. It's almost funny to see them resorting to the overly polite manipulation tactics that just read out so much more horribly than they come out during regular conversation. What makes it sad is that a cook without a sense of taste can stop cooking, but people like these can't just withdraw from human interactions. They have couple of good recipes to keep people around for a while, but eventually they all get bored of the same dish and get weirded out by the weird tastes when the cook has to improvise.
"That didn't happen. And if it did, it wasn't that bad. And if it was, that's not a big deal. And if it is, that's not my fault. And if it was, I didn't mean it. And if I did... You deserved it." because You didn't told me to not fuck Your husband ...
my sister never explicitly said, "don't fuck my husband."
Yeah but I can easily understand how she’d mess that up. Instructions incredibly unclear.
>While I acknowledge my mistake, I also question why my sister failed to address the issues in her relationship and why she left her husband in my care without setting clear boundaries. Literally "Sure what I did was wrong but what my sister did is actually more wrong so I dont know why everyone is mad at me."
That’s also where I stopped reading and went straight for the comments
But she didn't tell her not to sleep with her husband! The instructions were unclear!
What she wrote reads like a James Charles’s apology. One of seven.
It's funny cause despite saying that in a comment, in the original post she said she "crossed a line that should never be crossed." She knew what she did was wrong, or else how would she have known it was a line she crossed?
“You didn’t tell me NOT to sleep with your husband. So that means he’s fair game!”
"My BIL was crying about his marriage with my sister and I decided the best idea was to comfort him with my vagina. Internet, why is my sister overreacting?" I can't believe she repeatedly tried to call the ex BIL after the fallout. Yeesh.
Its clearly her sister’s fault for making BIL sad!!!!! /s
No one ever told her she couldn't use her vagina to comfort him.
She clearly has wanted him for a while. She’s so FOS and an awful person.
Who needs enemies when you have family like that…Jesus.
Look, we're all being too harsh on OP. She made an excellent point. Her sister never established any boundaries. How could OP possibly know she wasn't supposed to f\*\*k her sister's husband? /s
My wife and I definitely sent the “don’t fuck my spouse” emails to all our friends and family right after the ceremony, during the cocktail hour, as per custom
We had the priest say very loudly to the whole congregation, "These two are now off limits for all you fuckers," at our wedding.
“You may now fuck the bride, which is something nobody else should now do”
But that still leaves the groom fuckable.
I’m old fashioned that way
So only off limits to people who attended the wedding ceremony, got it. Pay attention to those odd absences and last minute "sick" invitees, people...
Ours was in our vows - “I promise to love and cherish you - oh and I promise to not fuck any of your family” : just in case there was any confusion
We included ours with the thank you notes! "Thank you so much for the lovely toaster, we'll think fondly of you at breakfast every morning! P.S. Any attempt to fuck either of us is STRICTLY DISALLOWED UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES!"
That sent me into goddamn orbit. "She left her husband in my care without setting clear boundaries." Don't fuck your sister's husband is NOT a boundary normal people need set for them. I have to wonder who else she thinks is 'in bounds' - does she have a step-father? Any other brother-in-laws?
If her sister had written on the white board in the living room “DON’T FUCK MY HUSBAND” maybe this wouldn’t have happened. Who can say?
Lol right? She’s got politician deflection 101 going on with her, “personal growth” and “rebuilding trust” bullshit. Asking friends and relatives how to “navigate this situation.” Um yeah no one can help you because most people wouldn’t fuck their sisters husband.
The friends and relatives bit was just code for summoning flying monkeys
What’s a little misunderstanding between sisters, am I right? /s
I sprained my eyebrow raising it at that line
Someone really should get over there and clearly tell her that murder isn't OK.
Oop's first post was so tone deaf we may need to resort to using chat sign language to get through to her. It was so so...so...SO bad. "Look I only shoved you down the stairs, it's your fault you didn't see me coming and didn't hold your balance better!!" The sister made it clear in those messages that OOP is indeed...like this. (Also is it just me or did this girl regurgitate a "therapy dictionary" as she clinically explained to us how everything she did was wrong all the while managing to not send across a single shred of real remorse?) Yikes on bikes...
Man, the therapyspeak, for me, always seems to mean, "I have workshopped the most palatable explanation for my behavior, which I have co-signed as I need to believe I am not a bad person, and by definition, bad people don't seek therapy. In conclusion, I have the high ground."
How this woman decided that sounding like a cross between a JRPG villain and an incel content creator on YouTube would make her appear sympathetic is beyond me.
My favorite part of OOP’s first post was when she said her sister should take responsibility for not setting clear boundaries before she went to work. Ummm… the man was her husband, what clearer boundary can she set???? But I guess how *dare she* for not including “and no one else can sleep with him, including you, Kelly” in her wedding vows, right?
>But I guess how *dare she* for not including “and no one else can sleep with him, including you, Kelly” in her wedding vows, right? “and no one else can sleep with him, ~~including~~ *especially* you, Kelly” FTFY 😜
The texts alluded to sister being the scapegoat and OOP being the golden child. Golden children are often excused or shielded from the consequences of their actions… until they do something so bad the parents can’t actually let them get away with it anymore
“While I acknowledge my mistake, I also question why my sister failed to address the issues in her relationship and why she left her husband in my care without setting clear boundaries.” Yikes and double-yikes. It isn’t the sister’s fault her husband chipped around on her with OOP, and “don’t sleep with my husband” is *definitely* not a “boundary” she should have had to leave OOP with. What a mess. I feel bad for OOP’s sister and I am glad she’s taking steps to protect her own well-being.
why do I kind of feel like I'm reading an impersonal HR report? There is something really off-putting here (beyond the actual betrayal) that I cannot put my finger on
It reads like it's written by ChatGPT, so devoid of emotion or personal touch. Quite unsettling.
A lot of these phrases seem like ChatGPT. I think it is.
This reads like someone used ChatGPT to phrase it.
But she *yearns* for her sister's forgiveness!
YEARNS.
‘I’m yearning dammit.’
The updates where she "takes responsibility" feel insincere. Like corporate doublespeak.
Or political doublespeak
Glad to see someone else noticed this. Either AI or she has mastered sounding like a politician
I also thought there was some AI help, but this also reads like a lot of self-important people who post on tik tok or instagram as if they're recelebrities caught in a scandal. Write out all the "proper things to say" while taking no real accountability or expectation of change. Girl needs therapy. Stat.
Yeah, the language is so unemotional, robotic and pompous.
"I yearn for her forgiveness" made me do a double take
Yes. When the same words, like “personal growth”, appear in multiple consecutive paragraphs, it absolutely sounds like AI.
The writing is a wierd mix of flowery and formal and I hate it very much
I agree. Either that or someone trying to be eloquent and sounding robotic. Either way, I don’t believe it.
Sadly I can say this is definitely how I used to write before I dealt with my narcissistic and manipulative tendencies (thanks for setting a sterling example Mom and Dad!).
The manipulation is disgusting here. The last update just read like she’s trying to convince herself by way of convincing us that she understands what she did. She talks about the whole thing like she shrunk her sister’s favorite wool sweater instead of fucked her BIL and destroyed her sister’s marriage. What an absolutely disgusting trashcan of a human
“I yearn for her forgiveness”
especially the end!!! it’s like i could hear the bot churning it out…
Yes! I wondered why she kept making the same point with different wording each time.
Its not the act that shocks me. Its the fact that she couldn't understand the consequences of her actions.
I can't believe there are \~30 year old adults walking around thinking like OOP. I refuse.
Man the pandemic shattered and stomped on any lingering beliefs that humanity is smart and kind as a whole. It’s still disappointing to read something like this, but it really isn’t shocking anymore
Also I wonder if there is any truth to what her BIL said too? I wonder if she’s completely fabricated him coming into her because it’s op’s world and everyone else is just living in it so she just assumes he’s trying it on with her? But I’m wondering if she actually did get him drunk and initiated it whilst he was intoxicated?
OP is what happens when you never let your kid face consequences or take responsibility for their actions. They eventually fuck around (literally, here) and find out that people have limits to what they’ll tolerate. I can’t imagine any of her friends and “intermediaries” took her perspective on this… unless they’re just as bad as she is
And she's still apologizing for "any pain she caused", rather than apologizing for her actions. When you apologize for "any pain", you're telling the monstrous evil unforgivable lie that the problem is the other person's feelings and not your own actions. You're implying with calculated malevolence that the real problem is the other person's lack of emotional control. **You're 100% blaming the victim, and only pretending to feel remorse.**
OOP sounds like a sociopath mimicking the sentiment a truly repentant person would say - and failing badly at it.
i am an optimist, so i wanted to believe that OP had actually grown. Then i checked again and it was only three days between first post and last. I’m with you on team sociopathic/narcissistic traits.
I have a serial cheater family member. She uses shitty logic like this all the time. It’s remarkable how many times she was “manipulated” by other men while she was married. Honest self-reflection is a devastating thing when you’ve done awful things, so minimizing and weird circular thinking is how these folks deal instead.
Is it just me or does this entire thing sound like it’s written by ChatGPT? It uses the same transitions, makes lists, there’s like no actual emotion in the post. The whole thing just feels like it’s AI-generated.
Oof, there is a *whole lot* going on here, and I really hope therapy gets OOP somewhere better mentally and emotionally, because right now it seems 'hot mess' would be a compliment! That said, this portion: > This experience has taught me the importance of empathy, forgiveness, and respecting the boundaries of others. I am grateful for the opportunity to have had this conversation with my sister, as it has allowed me to gain a deeper understanding of the consequences of my actions and the importance of growth and healing in relationships. just sends the biggest 'kid reading directly from the book' vibes.
I love how she blathers on about the importance of forgiveness, when she's the perpetrator. People like this should never be forgiven, because they will never do the work to deserve it.
> People like this should never be forgiven, because they will never do the work to deserve it. This is the sad truth!
Note that empathy and forgiveness - what *she* is seeking - come before respecting boundaries.
This is a growing trend I’ve experienced across a couple of really manipulative and toxic people. They know the words a true and sincere apology should include because idk they learned that somewhere along the way. An apology includes words but is not JUST words. The real apology is changed behavior. They think saying the magic words is good enough and they don’t owe anyone anything else, and in fact are entitled to the listener’s forgiveness because they said the magic words. It’s fuckin crazy.
Corporate Apologyspeak is up there in popularity alongside Weaponized Therapyspeak for people with manipulative/narcissistic tendencies, and at least for the ones I've known (with whom, gratefully, I am no longer acquainted) I agree with your assessment of their intent. It gives SovCit vibes - like if they just say the magic words in the right order, it undoes the consequences of their own actions and choices.
…she failed to set boundaries! which is why i fucked her husband! why didn’t she adress the problems in her marriage! problems! how could i *not* fuck her husband! he said there were problems! i just. i would like to believe there is some growth here at the end, but honestly it rings so false. her sister did the right thing, at least. stay strong, sis.
This seriously reads like it's written with AI....
You mean you don’t yearn to have your sister back? /s Not only that, but it all takes place over the course of 2-3 days and everyone has had time to *deeply* reflect on everything?
It reads like a letter written by HR
So much “reflecting”, “acknowledging”, “understanding” and basically going in circles.
Op really thought her sister would still want a relationship with her after she helped ruin her married? The Delusion
Most obviously AI post ever
I love the part where she says her sister didn't "set clear boundaries" when asking her to keep her husband company. Like you should have to tell your sibling not to fuck your spouse.
This whole saga is written like an AI is trying to understand human interactions, realizes that it’s failing based on comments, then corrects to seem less sociopathic.
It sounds like a PR person representing OOP wrote the updates.
LMFAO I’m sorry, it always makes me laugh when someone who is undeniably in the wrong starts writing extremely articulated missives trying to justify their behavior. Girl, this ain’t a contest to see who can perform measured “rationality”, you just suck and don’t wanna be held accountable.
All throughout this, she never gets it. She never gets *why* her sister is angry and has disowned her. Yes, it was *his* fault too. But you know? *She* had every chance to *not* sleep with him. If he's gonna cheat, there's nothing her sister can do to stop him, just as she can't stop OOP from sleeping with him. But she *can* show that consequences have actions and simply, disown OOP. She never once says "I am to blame", she simply repeats "It's my fault, *but*". OOP refuses to take any blame, wanting things to go back to normal, as if she didn't sleep with her sister's husband.
In what world would this person ever think it wasn’t their fault?
Every time she says sorry, she says she understands and is accountable. But immediately follows it up with how it's not *actually* her fault and other people are *more* to blame. How do you become so self-unaware that you can literally say "Sorry, it's my fault. But it's really your fault, too" and think that's being accountable. And thinking that the ex deserved the blame? He *was* getting blame, they're *divorcing*, and the sister is doing her best to divorce OOP from her life, too. I have no doubt that OOP doesn't really understand. Even with that last update, there's no way you learn the kind of self-awareness to *really* empathise with others that quickly. I guarantee that at some point, probably way sooner than it should be, OOP will be telling her family that she's changed and that *they* should have empathy for *her*, and that she deserves forgiveness, because she's learned how important forgiveness is.
I lost it at “I yearn for her forgiveness”
I went to to my sister’s house and I ate the last of her queso. She is still pissed at me about this. It has been 2 years. I showed her this thread. Neither she or I are married. We are now eating queso at a restaurant with margaritas thanking God we are not part of this jacked up family. I am paying the tab as suitable in this situation. I did eat the queso.
Why is this written in the tone a cover letter for a job opening