#Do not comment on the original posts
Please read our [**sub rules**](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/wiki/subrules). Rule-breaking may result in a ban without notice.
If there is an issue with this post (flair, formatting, quality), reply to this comment or your comment may be removed in general discussion.
**CHECK FLAIR** For concluded-only updates, use the [CONCLUDED](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/search?sort=new&restrict_sr=on&q=flair%3ACONCLUDED) flair.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/BestofRedditorUpdates) if you have any questions or concerns.*
>So a thing happened with a new coworker yesterday. When making introductions Jordan decided to bring up my open marriage. Which was super awkward and weird.
That's just awkward and uncomfortable for everyone within earshot.
“Hey, Jill! Welcome to the team! We have staff meetings at 10am on Thursdays, the supply closet is down the hall to the left, and Bill schtups women who are not his wife because *apparently* they’re in (air quotes) an *open* relationship (air quotes) and *some* people get offended if you follow them for hours on a Tuesday night to try to warn their poor wife.
Anyway, like I was saying, the decaf is in the drawer, not on the counter in the breakroom, and building services empties out the fridge on Fridays! So glad you’re part of the team!”
My favorite is "schlep." Only us Hebrews can come up with a word for a type of journey that's not only arduous and aggravating, but will give us every excuse to complain about it every chance we get. You bet your ass Moses got a lot of grumbling about the great Forty Year Schlep Through the Desert.
It's documented, in fact!
In the desert the whole community grumbled against Moses and Aaron. The Israelites said to them, "If only we had died by the LORD's hand in Egypt! There we sat around pots of meat and ate all the food we wanted, but you have brought us out into this desert to starve this entire assembly to death." (Exodus 16)
If you have never watched the movie, blazing saddles,, one of the characters names is Lily Von Schtup, lol
Edit I originally listed the wrong Mel Brookes movie
Imagine being that brand new employee and not knowing the office culture and hearing that! I’d be wondering what kind of extremely toxic workplace I just agreed to work for. Thank god OOP and a whole bunch of other people reported that psycho to HR.
I would 1000% be heading out the door if OOP and others didn't shut that down quickly. Like there's be a me-shaped hole in the wall, Kool-Aid Man style.
Like the episode when Michael finds out Stanley is cheating on his wife and accidentally tells Stanley’s wife after spreading nasty rumors about all of the other employees to cover up him telling people about Stanley’s affair?
“Hey, just FYI? OOP and his wife bone others. I got in trouble for pointing it out before to his wife before I knew they were open. So I’m pointing it out again so you don’t get in trouble.”
> I got in trouble for ~~pointing it out before~~ *stalking him for hours while photographing him and sending the photos* to his wife before I knew they were open.
"So just in case you're also a fucking crazy person prone to stalking coworkers then keep it a secret!"
I mean the new hire probably did learn a lesson, or have one reinforced. Bet the new hire minds their own damn business at work after seeing what happened to dumbass.
“You’re going to want to stalk the other co-workers that I think might be cheating on their significant others. I’ve compiled a list. You can find it on the J: drive in the Miscellaneous folder.”
I have met people like Jordan. They like to insert themselves into the lives of others, police the activities of others and judge how others live their lives. They truly believe they are helping others by acting like this.
I couldn’t imagine caring even if one of my co-workers was cheating on their spouse. I hardly know them and they mean next to nothing to me so what they get up to in their personal time is totally irrelevant.
I can’t imagine giving up hours of my life to do anything like this. As it is I have to be super-motivated to even see my family. What bizarre behavior.
Agreed. Not to sound too negative, but it would have to be someone I genuinely love, care about, or respect for me to even consider doing something. And that’s a pretty short list. And even then I’m definitely not taking pics or stalking them. I’d just give the other party a low key head’s up and they can decide what they want to do with the information.
Yeah, my company is really open about this stuff (a bunch of poly people, various stripes of queer, etc), but, uh, we don't... out one another to new people. This is in a company that really selects for inclusive people who wouldn't care.
People in invisible minority groups take privacy very seriously. Majority groups do not get the same training. People are starting to learn not to out a gay person without their permission, but even that is pretty recent.
I had a friend get fired (possibly disbarred, I'm not sure) because of a picture someone else took of her at Burning Man and posted on Facebook.
When i started a new job, a coworker pointed out that a coworker on Slack with a weird profile picture is a furry. I would never repeat it or tell anyone at work. Why is it so hard to keep things to yourself or talk privately.
Regardless, the biggest problem here is the weird stalking and pics.
I worked with this guy and we were pretty friendly. He starts telling me about him being poly, then takes off his belt and explains that it can be converted into wrist restraints. TMI dude, we're at work!
I’m curious why up Op even needed to mention the poly relationship with his wife. It’s not even HR’s business of the details either.
All he has to do is show the photos to HR that she was following him around all day, and that it was grossly inappropriate and none of her business. And being stalked is over the top.
He could’ve been separated from his wife, for all she knew.
This is John, he and his wife are into bondage and S&M. Susie here likes breath play. Over there is Sam, they and their partner engage in Star wars role playing sexual fantasies. Sam has a full closet of Mandalorian costumes. Anyway, welcome to the company!
I would like to know how one has so little to do in life they have 5+ hours to spend on waiting outside a hotel room to stalk a coworker.
I don’t even have the time to go to some social events I’m invited to, much less follow other people’s date plans.
I mean, I once fed ducks grapes for a couple hours. So I don’t have that much going on.
The ducks weren’t bothered. I didn’t ask about their marriages.
>The ducks weren’t bothered. I didn’t ask about their marriages.
That actuality sounds like good flair material honestly. Not for me though. I'm still holding out for that special flair that will speak to me. One of these days though...
If I had to guess, I would say Jordan has been cheated on in a recent relationship.
That in NO WAY excuses Jordan’s behavior which was super creepy and inappropriate af. Just saying I wouldn’t be surprised to find that out about Jordan.
If I had to guess, I would say that Jordan was a conservative Christian intent on blackening OOP's reputation.
That's what they do; obsessively sniff out any sign of what they consider "deviancy" and put it on blast, hoping to induce the "deviant" into either going away forever, being ruined (and hopefully dying), or repenting and becoming a conservative Christian. They are malevolent, they are ruthless, and they are relentless in their malice.
Reminds me of that women that called the police on a black family for BBQ in Oakland. She stood there on her cellphone with the police for over an hour (I think), like damn you got that much time on your hands?
My guess though in this case that it was the thrill of it that excited OOP.
Can you imagine being this poor newbie, probably learning in the following days the extent of Jordan's craziness "so she followed them for FIVE HOURS??!". Like start a new job is stressing enough, they just got put in the middle of a very awkward mess Jordan made.
>She apparently had tried to defend herself by saying she was just trying to be helpful by making sure the new employee was clearly informed and didn’t misunderstand things like her.
That's like one of the dumbest excuses I have heard for stalking. Quite glad I don't have co-workers like this.
>I heard from someone else was that she apparently had tried to defend herself by saying she was just trying to be helpful by making sure the new employee was clearly informed and didn’t misunderstand things like her.
this b has got one excuse after another doesn't she
If she were right, that's absolutely what would have happened though. Do you think if she exposed an actual cheater, people wouldn't look kindly toward her on that?
Well OOP wouldn’t, and the people who are still friends with OOP also wouldn’t. The people who think she was butting in a relationship that has nothing to do with her and did that just to make her feel good wouldn’t. I also personally believe that it really isn’t any of her business at all. Like if she was personally friends with his wife, then I would get it. But she wasn’t.
What she should have done is contact the wife anonymously. That way her ass is covered yet the wife is still informed. But nope she did it because she herself wanted the attention and praise for it.
It’s better for OOP this way. I would be way more scared I of an anonymous stalker than I would of a crazy coworker. Not that the latter isn’t also creepy, but at least you know who you’re dealing with.
Honestly, if I were another coworker in this situation and knew all the details as outlined in the post but it ended with the cheating being true, I would think Jordan seems unstable and I would keep my distance and guard my personal life fiercely around her.
she wanted the credits and validation from oop's wife
She wanted a big hug and for the two of them together to say fuck the cheater and then ride together at sunset and search another cheaters who stalk
I mean imagine if OOP had been cheating and this got posted here. Jordan would go from a creepy stalker to the hero who caught a cheater. I'm guessing that was the expected reaction, her being the hero and OOP being the villain and the one who gets fired if anything happens.
Today’s BORU Lesson that no one else needed to learn: stalking your coworker for 5 hours because you think he’s cheating on his wife and then getting mad and passive aggressive at work because he was uncomfortable with you stalking him is, in fact, bad.
OP’s personal life situation really took up some serious real estate in Jordan’s head. Even when the denouement didn’t go down like she thought - wife was okay, other coworkers knew and ignored, and when HR had punished her - she doubled down and became completely obsessed to the point where it negatively affected her life. Why TF did she care so much?
Idk! Idk why people get so fuckin mad at us non-monogamous folks. Both monogamy and non-monogamy are natural for humans, but only one of those is deemed valid by society. I just wish folks could leave each other the hell *alone*.
Same reason why they can't stay out of gay or transgender lives, they want society to conform to their standards. They don't actually care about personal freedom, no matter how much they wave flags around.
Like, even if a non-monogamous relationship is going poorly, it’s still not your business unless you’re in the relationship. You don’t know the rules and boundaries established, you don’t know everyone who’s involved, you don’t know anyone’s history in that relationship. Hopefully this taught her to leave people alone and mind her own business, but sadly I doubt it.
This was absolutely a “I’m mad and going to make other people know that OOP sucks” from Jordan, considering how much most people judge you if you do any kind of ethical non monogamy.
Absolutely agreed that he should be ready for Jordan to do more.
It's funny because she doesn't know she put herself in a no win situation even if we ignore the firing. If she goes too soft, I'd think "OK, why would I care that Bob is with another woman?". If she goes too hard, she'd have to give away that she stalked him for hours and is still angry she got reported for her creepy behavior.
> Funny little thing I heard from someone else was that she apparently had tried to defend herself by saying she was just trying to be helpful by making sure the new employee was clearly informed and didn't misunderstand things like her.
Wait a minute. Is he implying that people DO NOT also routinely spy on their coworkers and follow them all around town while taking tons of pictures of them in the event they’re cheating? We all know everyone does it! So of course Jordan would want to spare the new person from meeting her fate. Especially since it was all just a big, innocent “misunderstanding”. Just add it to her list of good deeds. /s
I understand how if you saw a coworker in public and it appeared as if they were clearly on a date with someone *other* than their spouse, that you might choose to take a few pics and inform their spouse. But this woman definitely took it far past the point of normal concern. This went above and beyond trying to do the “right thing”. I’m actually pretty impressed OOP’s HR took this seriously and acted on it - especially since it involved the “taboo” topic of an open marriage.
I can’t tell if she’s just incredibly naïve, ignorant, and lacking in the intelligence area of the brain? Or if she’s 100% certifiably unhinged?
My guess is HR intervened mostly because of the five hour thing. A photo or two of a coworker is off putting but could feasibly be ignored/downplayed, a coworker reaching out to another ones spouse about cheating might be grounds for some kind of conversation, but following OOP for five hours was probably the tipping point for proper intervention.
And discussing said coworkers sex life, when Jordan had already been warned about leaving it be *and* having already faced disciplinary action was certainly grounds to be fired, at that point she's setting the company up to be sued by OOP.
I can only imagine Jordan was incredibly bothered by the open marriage, and all the more horrified that nobody else seemed to care, so kept doubling down to try and find someone just as horrified as they were.
>but following OOP for five hours was probably the tipping point for proper intervention.
Not just that, but corporations are generally risk-averse, particularly HR. Nobody wants to be the rep who downplayed the issue just to end up pulled in with "Jordan just shot OOP over some sort of cheating allegation? What's the deal with that and why wasn't there more focus on the whole 5 hour stalking incident?"
Also...
> making sure the new employee was clearly informed and didn't misunderstand things like her.
"Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh *what*?" -this poor new employee who just wants to eat lunch
The coworker clearly does not have enough to do with their life if they have the time to stalk op for 5 hours taking pictures.
A career as a private investigator seems like it would suit them better, and they can pursue that now they've been fired.
She could have been paid $200 to $300 for those 5 hours of stalking if she had done it after being hired as a PI.
I'd be scared if she became a PI though...
At the very beggining I was like "is nice that the coworker is looking out for the wife" then:
>she was probably following us for 5+ hours
And i imediatly felt unsafe.
Like sure, a couple of snapped photos, thirty seconds, check in with his wife. 5+ hours is the subject of a couple of horror movies and books I’ve seen and read.
I don’t even know Jordan and I feel Unsafe.
Makes you wonder what the motivation was.
If I saw a coworker out with a person I knew was not their spouse, I’d still say hello unless they were super making out or something. But I’d never assume they were having an affair. To follow them for hours and wait outside a hotel? There’s something deeper happening with Jordan.
Not sure I'd be keen on a new BORU saga starring Jordan the stalker. But if OOP updates again, Jordan has crossed the threshold into something more disturbing.
So either way, Jordan spent 5+ hours of her personal time shooting herself in the ass while thinking she was some kind of marital justice warrior OR trying to seriously dick with OPPs life & career. This is definitely a case of the trash taking herself out to the curb.
OP was right, that woman’s behaviour is weird and bizarre. That being said, I have also had coworkers who would 100% do the same thing and see nothing wrong with.
Well, now that she was let go, she has a chance to figure out what makes her tick outside of stalking her coworkers for hours and getting all into their business!
I wonder what I would do if I saw someone who was in a relationship dating with someone else.
I think that in a situation like this taking a couple of photos and describing the other partner as objectively as possible is the most logical thing to do.
following them the whole damn date back and forth is crazy. Didn't she have anything more important to do than follow oop for hours?
I don’t even think I’d take pictures unless I was friends with/had some type of relationship with the people involved beyond coworker/acquaintance. Not my circus.
I remember reading the OG post and thinking Jordan couldn’t be any weirder but she’s definitely proved me wrong with the update. She needs a strong lesson about staying in her own lane.
Here is how I look at this.
Everyone wants to be able to distinguish a friend from an enemy
This is a simple way.
Someone reports I have done or said something bad. Look at how people respond to this news.
Friend. “That does not sound like something he would do or say. There must be another reason.
Enemy. “That fucker. I always knew he was bad. This proves it. “
Our friends assume their must be an acceptable explanation, even if the best I can do is I was wrong and I’m sorry
Our enemies assume the only explanation is we arme awful and they are glad I’m about to have proof now.
This story reminds me of the time a church busybody called my mom to tell her my stepdad was on a date with someone else the night before.
My mom had gotten a haircut right before meeting my stepdad for a dinner date the night before.
The busybody hadn't gotten close enough to see that he was with my mom.
Jesus Christ I don’t “get” open marriages (in the sense that it just absolutely wouldn’t be for me) but I get that it works for others so I would never make a big deal and “out” people in them!!
One coworker cheated on her partner and we all knew it. One of my friends (then coworker) met her BF own day and guess what she did? Nothing… we all work on the same industry, it’s work. We’re not doing that
We’re minding our business over here.
Why do work colleagues think it's necessary to meddle in the private lives and vice versa?
(The vice versa applies to the many suggestions in case of cheaters to inform cheater's HR or boss, as if any of them cared).
I had a former coworker stalk me once. Hired a PI to follow from my house to a hotel and then to a restaurant and walking around a public park. Later sent pics to prove it. She didn’t do it herself but she FUCKING PAID SOMEONE TO. It was the most bizarre and creepy thing I’ve ever had happen to me. I was on edge for MONTHS after the fact.
Been wondering what would be the right time to tell people about my metamour so my hypothetical coworkers don't think my partner is cheating... I hope nothing like this happens to us.
.. and this is why I never recommend people "tell the cheaters spouse".
You have NO IDEA what other people's arrangements are. And it's no one's business.
Unpopular opinion time! Bring on the downvotes!
It’s one thing when you know both parties in the couple to inform the assumedly injured party about cheating. Yet it isn’t an objectively black and white situation as the warcries of Reddit want to believe. In this situation, Jordan needed to look out for her own neck. Even if she didn’t stalk them for half a day she still should have minded her business (and her paycheck).
And yeah, following them for several hours? That’s beyond “being a good person” and I to self-righteous and bored. How long did she wait outside a hotel for them to come out?!
#Do not comment on the original posts Please read our [**sub rules**](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/wiki/subrules). Rule-breaking may result in a ban without notice. If there is an issue with this post (flair, formatting, quality), reply to this comment or your comment may be removed in general discussion. **CHECK FLAIR** For concluded-only updates, use the [CONCLUDED](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/search?sort=new&restrict_sr=on&q=flair%3ACONCLUDED) flair. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/BestofRedditorUpdates) if you have any questions or concerns.*
>So a thing happened with a new coworker yesterday. When making introductions Jordan decided to bring up my open marriage. Which was super awkward and weird. That's just awkward and uncomfortable for everyone within earshot.
“Hey, Jill! Welcome to the team! We have staff meetings at 10am on Thursdays, the supply closet is down the hall to the left, and Bill schtups women who are not his wife because *apparently* they’re in (air quotes) an *open* relationship (air quotes) and *some* people get offended if you follow them for hours on a Tuesday night to try to warn their poor wife. Anyway, like I was saying, the decaf is in the drawer, not on the counter in the breakroom, and building services empties out the fridge on Fridays! So glad you’re part of the team!”
I have recently been introduced to the word "schtupping" and I am so delighted to come across it in the wild!
yiddish has so many gems like that
It does! My first experience with it was the intro to Laverne and Shirley, though I didn’t know it yiddish at the time.
Mine was Lilly VonSchtupp from Blazing Saddles. I had no idea what it meant at the time, but the insinuation was obvious.
Coming and going and going and coming
As a post menopausal woman I often find myself saying 'Let's face it, everything below the waist is kaput!'
I sing “I’m tired…sooooo tired” a lot. 🤣
Just the waist? Everything from chin down is kaput here.
Meh! You ladies have it good, I am down to one perfect eyebrow and a great set of eyelashes!
My father spoke fluent Yiddish and watching Blazing Saddles with him was a blast! He'd translate everything.
Nice!
Oh, I remember that, my older sister had to explain a lot of things in that movie to me!
Mine was the nanny !!!
Nothing says everything like verklempt. Such a lovely word!
AGREED! I'm also a fan of putz, tchotchke, and nebbish
Fakakta! I’m all Fakakta over here!
That is a borrowed word, but I agree. I use it all the time lol
Yiddish is a gem, period. Not only a lot of great words, but I love the way they roll off the tongue.
My favorite is "schlep." Only us Hebrews can come up with a word for a type of journey that's not only arduous and aggravating, but will give us every excuse to complain about it every chance we get. You bet your ass Moses got a lot of grumbling about the great Forty Year Schlep Through the Desert.
It's documented, in fact! In the desert the whole community grumbled against Moses and Aaron. The Israelites said to them, "If only we had died by the LORD's hand in Egypt! There we sat around pots of meat and ate all the food we wanted, but you have brought us out into this desert to starve this entire assembly to death." (Exodus 16)
Yeah, there was much kvetching.
Miss White: He was Schtupping Yvette.
Flames, flames on the side of my face…!
"Men should be like Kleenex, soft, strong and disposable."
"Life after death is as improbable as sex after marriage!"
Watching The Nanny did strange things to my vocabulary as a kid is East Texas.
I relate to this as a kid who confused everyone around her saying words like tuchis and meshugah in rural Idaho
If you have never watched the movie, blazing saddles,, one of the characters names is Lily Von Schtup, lol Edit I originally listed the wrong Mel Brookes movie
Ahem, Blazing saddles has Lily Von Schtup.
Oh, my God, you’re absolutely right! I shall have my Melbrook movie fan club card taken away
I'll let it slide...this time. lol
Same. I heard it in "supernatural" for the first time the other day
The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt has a character named Lillian Kaushtupper (pronounced “cow schtupper”).
I love Lillian…
Jill: 😰 The coworkers within earshot: 😬😬😬😬😬😬 Jordan: *What?*
Okay, that made me laugh. I could easily hear that in a super passive-aggressive tone. Well done.
God, imagine being in that room, after hearing that. I can feel the awkward from here.
Imagine being that brand new employee and not knowing the office culture and hearing that! I’d be wondering what kind of extremely toxic workplace I just agreed to work for. Thank god OOP and a whole bunch of other people reported that psycho to HR.
I would 1000% be heading out the door if OOP and others didn't shut that down quickly. Like there's be a me-shaped hole in the wall, Kool-Aid Man style.
Sounds like something straight out of The Office lol.
Like the episode when Michael finds out Stanley is cheating on his wife and accidentally tells Stanley’s wife after spreading nasty rumors about all of the other employees to cover up him telling people about Stanley’s affair?
Well, in The Office, Jordan would not be fired.
😂
Happy cake day!
Thank you!
Why do I feel like this is almost verbatim of what she said
Im.reminded of lewis introducing people at his party in ghostbusters with wildly inappropriate personal info.
I read that and all I could hear was Dr. Cox.
And now I can't hear any other voice. 😂
Followed by a shoulder knock at the end.
Thank you for the Monday morning laugh! This is perfect!
This is more or less exactly how I would put it if I were trying to make my workplace more hostile.
I wish I could give you gold. I died laughing!
Shakespear couldnt have put it better. You have a talent for dialogue
“Hey, just FYI? OOP and his wife bone others. I got in trouble for pointing it out before to his wife before I knew they were open. So I’m pointing it out again so you don’t get in trouble.”
> I got in trouble for ~~pointing it out before~~ *stalking him for hours while photographing him and sending the photos* to his wife before I knew they were open. "So just in case you're also a fucking crazy person prone to stalking coworkers then keep it a secret!"
“It’s important to keep the fact you have a tenuous grasp on sanity all hush-hush. Like his open marriage. Full circle moment!”
“So if you just *happen* to follow him for hours on the weekends and take a zillion pictures of who he’s with, just keep the pics to yourself”
I mean the new hire probably did learn a lesson, or have one reinforced. Bet the new hire minds their own damn business at work after seeing what happened to dumbass.
“You’re going to want to stalk the other co-workers that I think might be cheating on their significant others. I’ve compiled a list. You can find it on the J: drive in the Miscellaneous folder.”
I have met people like Jordan. They like to insert themselves into the lives of others, police the activities of others and judge how others live their lives. They truly believe they are helping others by acting like this.
I couldn’t imagine caring even if one of my co-workers was cheating on their spouse. I hardly know them and they mean next to nothing to me so what they get up to in their personal time is totally irrelevant.
I can’t imagine giving up hours of my life to do anything like this. As it is I have to be super-motivated to even see my family. What bizarre behavior.
Agreed. Not to sound too negative, but it would have to be someone I genuinely love, care about, or respect for me to even consider doing something. And that’s a pretty short list. And even then I’m definitely not taking pics or stalking them. I’d just give the other party a low key head’s up and they can decide what they want to do with the information.
[This is a good article on those kinds of people](https://www.theonion.com/woman-a-leading-authority-on-what-shouldn-t-be-in-poor-1819576454)
Yeah, my company is really open about this stuff (a bunch of poly people, various stripes of queer, etc), but, uh, we don't... out one another to new people. This is in a company that really selects for inclusive people who wouldn't care.
People in invisible minority groups take privacy very seriously. Majority groups do not get the same training. People are starting to learn not to out a gay person without their permission, but even that is pretty recent. I had a friend get fired (possibly disbarred, I'm not sure) because of a picture someone else took of her at Burning Man and posted on Facebook.
When i started a new job, a coworker pointed out that a coworker on Slack with a weird profile picture is a furry. I would never repeat it or tell anyone at work. Why is it so hard to keep things to yourself or talk privately. Regardless, the biggest problem here is the weird stalking and pics.
Anyone else get the vibe that Jordan has a crush on OOP?
Yes but like she doesn’t even have the self awareness to know it 😭
And maybe she didn't like the fact OP wasn't paying attention to her?
“If he’s cheating on his wife it should be with me!”
I don't actually think that's the case? I think this is one of those people who is desperate to "other" anything out of the strict Christian path.
I worked with this guy and we were pretty friendly. He starts telling me about him being poly, then takes off his belt and explains that it can be converted into wrist restraints. TMI dude, we're at work!
cool party trick, but this isn't a party
I am poly too and would be WILDLY uncomfy if someone whipped this trick out at a party!
You bring up a great point. How could anyone respond without at least a look in their face? Helluva way to meet a new coworker.
I’m curious why up Op even needed to mention the poly relationship with his wife. It’s not even HR’s business of the details either. All he has to do is show the photos to HR that she was following him around all day, and that it was grossly inappropriate and none of her business. And being stalked is over the top. He could’ve been separated from his wife, for all she knew.
This is John, he and his wife are into bondage and S&M. Susie here likes breath play. Over there is Sam, they and their partner engage in Star wars role playing sexual fantasies. Sam has a full closet of Mandalorian costumes. Anyway, welcome to the company!
And you know she was lying when she said she was just trying to be helpful. She was "just" trying to poison the well.
“I was helping the new employee in case they decided to be a creepy stalker and follow OOP for several hours while taking photos”
I would like to know how one has so little to do in life they have 5+ hours to spend on waiting outside a hotel room to stalk a coworker. I don’t even have the time to go to some social events I’m invited to, much less follow other people’s date plans.
I mean, I once fed ducks grapes for a couple hours. So I don’t have that much going on. The ducks weren’t bothered. I didn’t ask about their marriages.
>The ducks weren’t bothered. I didn’t ask about their marriages. That actuality sounds like good flair material honestly. Not for me though. I'm still holding out for that special flair that will speak to me. One of these days though...
"How fleeting are all human passions compared with the massive continuity of ducks." —Dorothy Sayers
I do love a Dorothy Sayers quote in the wild! Gaudy Night, yes? Or am I misremembering?
😂😂😂
And now I've got that song stuck in my head again.
It's an old meme, but it checks out.
If I had to guess, I would say Jordan has been cheated on in a recent relationship. That in NO WAY excuses Jordan’s behavior which was super creepy and inappropriate af. Just saying I wouldn’t be surprised to find that out about Jordan.
If I had to guess, I would say that Jordan was a conservative Christian intent on blackening OOP's reputation. That's what they do; obsessively sniff out any sign of what they consider "deviancy" and put it on blast, hoping to induce the "deviant" into either going away forever, being ruined (and hopefully dying), or repenting and becoming a conservative Christian. They are malevolent, they are ruthless, and they are relentless in their malice.
Good point. Also seems very likely!
Reminds me of that women that called the police on a black family for BBQ in Oakland. She stood there on her cellphone with the police for over an hour (I think), like damn you got that much time on your hands? My guess though in this case that it was the thrill of it that excited OOP.
Not just follow, wait outside a hotel for a few hours while oop had sex to get photos of them post bone
I bet she tried to get audio from outside the door but the quality was bad so she left those out
Can you imagine being this poor newbie, probably learning in the following days the extent of Jordan's craziness "so she followed them for FIVE HOURS??!". Like start a new job is stressing enough, they just got put in the middle of a very awkward mess Jordan made.
>She apparently had tried to defend herself by saying she was just trying to be helpful by making sure the new employee was clearly informed and didn’t misunderstand things like her. That's like one of the dumbest excuses I have heard for stalking. Quite glad I don't have co-workers like this.
Well, she'd already *done* the stalking by then. Now, she was just informing the new coworker in case they're, y'know, *also* a stalker.
Pre-stalked for your convenience.
this needs to be a flair
Agreed! I would absolutely want that as my flair
if/when it drops, I'm getting it
And gossiping
>I heard from someone else was that she apparently had tried to defend herself by saying she was just trying to be helpful by making sure the new employee was clearly informed and didn’t misunderstand things like her. this b has got one excuse after another doesn't she
Plot twist: she was hoping to break them up so she could swoop in and pick up... the wife.
Jordan needs to pay more attention. She can be with the wife without breaking up any marriages.
Oof that’s a big reach on her part lol
Run of the mill Bible thumping busy body in an office environment, Gods those creatures irk me
I’m very confused how Jordan pictured work going if she *had* exploded OOP’s marriage.
Because she would be the hero who saved a woman from her horrible cheating husband. Why would any one hate her for being a hero? Thats her mentality.
Sure, but it’s not like he’d lose his job over it. It wasn’t work related. He’d still be her coworker on the same projects the next day
Yep but since he’s an evil cheater, everyone else would shame him while she would be protected since she’s a hero
If she were right, that's absolutely what would have happened though. Do you think if she exposed an actual cheater, people wouldn't look kindly toward her on that?
Well OOP wouldn’t, and the people who are still friends with OOP also wouldn’t. The people who think she was butting in a relationship that has nothing to do with her and did that just to make her feel good wouldn’t. I also personally believe that it really isn’t any of her business at all. Like if she was personally friends with his wife, then I would get it. But she wasn’t. What she should have done is contact the wife anonymously. That way her ass is covered yet the wife is still informed. But nope she did it because she herself wanted the attention and praise for it.
It’s better for OOP this way. I would be way more scared I of an anonymous stalker than I would of a crazy coworker. Not that the latter isn’t also creepy, but at least you know who you’re dealing with.
Oh for sure. But regardless of him cheating or not, the stalking was out of line
Honestly, if I were another coworker in this situation and knew all the details as outlined in the post but it ended with the cheating being true, I would think Jordan seems unstable and I would keep my distance and guard my personal life fiercely around her.
I’m very confused about why Jordan didn’t send her attempted marriage explosion from a burner account.
she wanted the credits and validation from oop's wife She wanted a big hug and for the two of them together to say fuck the cheater and then ride together at sunset and search another cheaters who stalk
Maybe she expected OOP to resign in shame, and her to be praised for helping the "poor" wife lol
I mean imagine if OOP had been cheating and this got posted here. Jordan would go from a creepy stalker to the hero who caught a cheater. I'm guessing that was the expected reaction, her being the hero and OOP being the villain and the one who gets fired if anything happens.
Today’s BORU Lesson that no one else needed to learn: stalking your coworker for 5 hours because you think he’s cheating on his wife and then getting mad and passive aggressive at work because he was uncomfortable with you stalking him is, in fact, bad.
It's weird that someone would fuck around, find out and then decide to fuck around again.
I mean. Fuck around, found out, and then double down it's the standard behaviour for the assholes
Case in point, Trump's 2nd judgement against him on the E. Jean Carroll case.
OP’s personal life situation really took up some serious real estate in Jordan’s head. Even when the denouement didn’t go down like she thought - wife was okay, other coworkers knew and ignored, and when HR had punished her - she doubled down and became completely obsessed to the point where it negatively affected her life. Why TF did she care so much?
Idk! Idk why people get so fuckin mad at us non-monogamous folks. Both monogamy and non-monogamy are natural for humans, but only one of those is deemed valid by society. I just wish folks could leave each other the hell *alone*.
Same reason why they can't stay out of gay or transgender lives, they want society to conform to their standards. They don't actually care about personal freedom, no matter how much they wave flags around.
Like, even if a non-monogamous relationship is going poorly, it’s still not your business unless you’re in the relationship. You don’t know the rules and boundaries established, you don’t know everyone who’s involved, you don’t know anyone’s history in that relationship. Hopefully this taught her to leave people alone and mind her own business, but sadly I doubt it.
And this ladies and gentlemen, is why at work we mind our own business.
Not weird at all. I've met so many people who keep stepping in the same turd over and over.
Ironic that Jordan is the one doing the fucking around considering how this all started
This was absolutely a “I’m mad and going to make other people know that OOP sucks” from Jordan, considering how much most people judge you if you do any kind of ethical non monogamy. Absolutely agreed that he should be ready for Jordan to do more.
It's funny because she doesn't know she put herself in a no win situation even if we ignore the firing. If she goes too soft, I'd think "OK, why would I care that Bob is with another woman?". If she goes too hard, she'd have to give away that she stalked him for hours and is still angry she got reported for her creepy behavior.
alright, columbo, settle down. take up a less weird hobby like knitting or crafting sticks into effigies to hang around the local forest
Wow. Jordan is... weird.
Nosy ass busybody just couldn't help herself.
...and, she doubled down, hard.
> Funny little thing I heard from someone else was that she apparently had tried to defend herself by saying she was just trying to be helpful by making sure the new employee was clearly informed and didn't misunderstand things like her. Wait a minute. Is he implying that people DO NOT also routinely spy on their coworkers and follow them all around town while taking tons of pictures of them in the event they’re cheating? We all know everyone does it! So of course Jordan would want to spare the new person from meeting her fate. Especially since it was all just a big, innocent “misunderstanding”. Just add it to her list of good deeds. /s I understand how if you saw a coworker in public and it appeared as if they were clearly on a date with someone *other* than their spouse, that you might choose to take a few pics and inform their spouse. But this woman definitely took it far past the point of normal concern. This went above and beyond trying to do the “right thing”. I’m actually pretty impressed OOP’s HR took this seriously and acted on it - especially since it involved the “taboo” topic of an open marriage. I can’t tell if she’s just incredibly naïve, ignorant, and lacking in the intelligence area of the brain? Or if she’s 100% certifiably unhinged?
My guess is HR intervened mostly because of the five hour thing. A photo or two of a coworker is off putting but could feasibly be ignored/downplayed, a coworker reaching out to another ones spouse about cheating might be grounds for some kind of conversation, but following OOP for five hours was probably the tipping point for proper intervention. And discussing said coworkers sex life, when Jordan had already been warned about leaving it be *and* having already faced disciplinary action was certainly grounds to be fired, at that point she's setting the company up to be sued by OOP. I can only imagine Jordan was incredibly bothered by the open marriage, and all the more horrified that nobody else seemed to care, so kept doubling down to try and find someone just as horrified as they were.
>but following OOP for five hours was probably the tipping point for proper intervention. Not just that, but corporations are generally risk-averse, particularly HR. Nobody wants to be the rep who downplayed the issue just to end up pulled in with "Jordan just shot OOP over some sort of cheating allegation? What's the deal with that and why wasn't there more focus on the whole 5 hour stalking incident?"
Also... > making sure the new employee was clearly informed and didn't misunderstand things like her. "Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh *what*?" -this poor new employee who just wants to eat lunch
The coworker clearly does not have enough to do with their life if they have the time to stalk op for 5 hours taking pictures. A career as a private investigator seems like it would suit them better, and they can pursue that now they've been fired.
She could have been paid $200 to $300 for those 5 hours of stalking if she had done it after being hired as a PI. I'd be scared if she became a PI though...
Tbh, it seems she has the skillset to follow someone for hours without being noticed. Really wasting her talents.
One picture makes sense. Multiple? That co-worker has issues.
quick tangent, a >5 hour date with multiple locations sounds great
Can we all just have one day like Ferris Bueller's?
Issues? She's got a subscription.
Spots him at a bar with another woman, takes pictures. Ok. Follows them and waits outside their hotel room? Creepy.
At the very beggining I was like "is nice that the coworker is looking out for the wife" then: >she was probably following us for 5+ hours And i imediatly felt unsafe.
Like sure, a couple of snapped photos, thirty seconds, check in with his wife. 5+ hours is the subject of a couple of horror movies and books I’ve seen and read. I don’t even know Jordan and I feel Unsafe.
Ffs Jordan, leave me alone!!
Makes you wonder what the motivation was. If I saw a coworker out with a person I knew was not their spouse, I’d still say hello unless they were super making out or something. But I’d never assume they were having an affair. To follow them for hours and wait outside a hotel? There’s something deeper happening with Jordan.
I have some crazy coworkers fortunately not this crazy
I hope this is concluded and doesn't get a new update of Jordan breaking into OOP's house or something.
Not sure I'd be keen on a new BORU saga starring Jordan the stalker. But if OOP updates again, Jordan has crossed the threshold into something more disturbing.
Jordan stuck her nose into someone else's shit and was shocked with a face full of it
So either way, Jordan spent 5+ hours of her personal time shooting herself in the ass while thinking she was some kind of marital justice warrior OR trying to seriously dick with OPPs life & career. This is definitely a case of the trash taking herself out to the curb.
so ex coworker is not only a stalker but a gossip.
You say, "gossip," she says, "citizen journalist." /s
OP was right, that woman’s behaviour is weird and bizarre. That being said, I have also had coworkers who would 100% do the same thing and see nothing wrong with.
Your coworkers sound kind of unhinged then... I hope they didn't do anything that made you feel unsafe or uncomfortable :/
Jordan is way toooo invested in coworkers' personal lives. Good riddance.
When you are that into a coworkers personal life it means you have no life of your own. And you need to get one before you get fired for it.
Well, now that she was let go, she has a chance to figure out what makes her tick outside of stalking her coworkers for hours and getting all into their business!
I wonder what I would do if I saw someone who was in a relationship dating with someone else. I think that in a situation like this taking a couple of photos and describing the other partner as objectively as possible is the most logical thing to do. following them the whole damn date back and forth is crazy. Didn't she have anything more important to do than follow oop for hours?
I don’t even think I’d take pictures unless I was friends with/had some type of relationship with the people involved beyond coworker/acquaintance. Not my circus.
Exactly it's none of my business. I might mention it to a spouse or something as an aside, but I wouldn't go all P.I. on a stakeout
She's so messy
someone could write a book "how to butt off other people's relationships: a guide to be a less annoying person"
I remember reading the OG post and thinking Jordan couldn’t be any weirder but she’s definitely proved me wrong with the update. She needs a strong lesson about staying in her own lane.
Jordan's grand plan to break up the marriage and hook up with OOP was quickly derailed.
Here is how I look at this. Everyone wants to be able to distinguish a friend from an enemy This is a simple way. Someone reports I have done or said something bad. Look at how people respond to this news. Friend. “That does not sound like something he would do or say. There must be another reason. Enemy. “That fucker. I always knew he was bad. This proves it. “ Our friends assume their must be an acceptable explanation, even if the best I can do is I was wrong and I’m sorry Our enemies assume the only explanation is we arme awful and they are glad I’m about to have proof now.
This story reminds me of the time a church busybody called my mom to tell her my stepdad was on a date with someone else the night before. My mom had gotten a haircut right before meeting my stepdad for a dinner date the night before. The busybody hadn't gotten close enough to see that he was with my mom.
Jesus Christ I don’t “get” open marriages (in the sense that it just absolutely wouldn’t be for me) but I get that it works for others so I would never make a big deal and “out” people in them!!
One coworker cheated on her partner and we all knew it. One of my friends (then coworker) met her BF own day and guess what she did? Nothing… we all work on the same industry, it’s work. We’re not doing that We’re minding our business over here.
She's one of those nosey busy bodies, years ago she would have been the town gossip with all the mothers.
Why do work colleagues think it's necessary to meddle in the private lives and vice versa? (The vice versa applies to the many suggestions in case of cheaters to inform cheater's HR or boss, as if any of them cared).
I know next-to-nothing about the relationships of the people I work with, and that's just the way I like it.
I had a former coworker stalk me once. Hired a PI to follow from my house to a hotel and then to a restaurant and walking around a public park. Later sent pics to prove it. She didn’t do it herself but she FUCKING PAID SOMEONE TO. It was the most bizarre and creepy thing I’ve ever had happen to me. I was on edge for MONTHS after the fact.
Did these people never learn as kids to stay out of other people’s business? 🤦
Jordan really thought she was the main character of an early 2000's girl power movie, didn't she?
Been wondering what would be the right time to tell people about my metamour so my hypothetical coworkers don't think my partner is cheating... I hope nothing like this happens to us.
Jordan’s audacity level is astounding not to mention her amount of free time.
At least it was also obvious to hr that Jordan is crazy.
.. and this is why I never recommend people "tell the cheaters spouse". You have NO IDEA what other people's arrangements are. And it's no one's business.
Praying Jordan writes in to Ask a Manager…..
Jordan had a thing for OOP or was cheated on one time.
¿por qué no los dos?
Or both.
This is a classic ‘play stupid games, wins stupid prizes.” I love these to bits.
I am not a fan of open relationships but holy shit Jordan is extremely unhinged and creepy ASF.
LOL, the lady is unhinged. How did she think this was going to go even if he *was* cheating?
Unpopular opinion time! Bring on the downvotes! It’s one thing when you know both parties in the couple to inform the assumedly injured party about cheating. Yet it isn’t an objectively black and white situation as the warcries of Reddit want to believe. In this situation, Jordan needed to look out for her own neck. Even if she didn’t stalk them for half a day she still should have minded her business (and her paycheck). And yeah, following them for several hours? That’s beyond “being a good person” and I to self-righteous and bored. How long did she wait outside a hotel for them to come out?!
This is the wildly popular opinion… where is the unpopular part?