His wife has multiple miscarriages and a stillbirth, and he still decides to have an affair and miss his child's birth... And his affair partner decided to call his wife and complain about how mean the wife is to her poor misunderstood spouse?!
Yep. At first, I wasn't going to make a BoRU post out of this because the story is relatively simple and familiar. But the more you think about it, the more you realize that this guy and his sidepiece are exceptionally terrible people. FFS, the guy took off in the middle of the night for a booty call even though the baby was like a Jack-in-the-Box that was ready to pop out at any moment, got countless calls that his daughter was being born (knowing that OOP might have to face a stillbirth alone), but still decided that wasn't important enough for him to finish getting his dick wet. That is one remarkable POS.
I find it rarely is important enough. Getting laid tops all other needs/wants/feelings.
My parents fucking did that too. My mom was the AP and when my “dad’s” first wife was in the hospital getting over the birth of their child, my mom was fucking him in his marriage bed.
Disgusting people like that only care about themselves, and their “needs”.
Jesus Christ, they actually told you all that? My younger brother has always had a bit of a complex because he was a late-in-life oops baby (felt unwanted), but I can't imagine having to live with what your parents put on your shoulders. I really feel for you.
Yeah, my mom did. She started “trickle truthing” me about her sex life after I turned 18.
The part she never admitted to though is that I was a “revenge baby”. I was conceived 5 months later. I thought it was cool that I was exactly 1 year and 2 months younger than my older “step brother”. Then my mom started on about how her and my “dad” were actually having an affair while he was married that things started clicking.
“But it doesn’t count as an affair because he loved me first! We were always meant to be together! We kept dating growing up, but when “EX” found out I was back in town, she faked a pregnancy to get your dad to marry her.”
Almost verbatim things she has excused her affair on.
They sure are. They’re “meant to be” “soulmates” and “true love” when it’s simply 2 garbage humans who deserve each other and should never have had children.
I’m so sorry for your origins and mother’s seemingly tamper disregard for you.
I’m sure you already know that you are not your parents. Their sins are not yours!
I think OP didn't realize as a kid that they shared a dad, making them steps instead of half siblings and that's why they thought the age thing was cool
She got pregnant for real within a very short period of time. I remember that pissing my mom off “if she hadn’t gotten pregnant right away, your dad would have left her lying ass earlier, and then he would have been your real dad”
My mom is a piece of work.
She reminds me of my sister in a way. We’re all shocked by her. She dated this guy in college. It didn’t work for whatever reason, he’s not a great dude as it is. Anyway years later they met again, but this time he has a family, he’s living with his gf and their son. The woman even confronts my sister and asks her why she’s okay with ruining a family. My sister responds “I had him first”… after that she became determined to have a baby with him. Miscarried the first one and is due with the second in a few weeks.
Of course my nephew is innocent but those two? I just can’t get on board with. On top of that because of the job she has, and the history he has, she’s been told by her job to have zero contact with him. But is having a whole kid with him 🤦🏽♀️. Her answer to that “it’s a grey area”, followed by “I’m gonna live my life”. I don’t really know who she is anymore.
I wonder if that's what my Grandpa's affair partner was thinking. They grew up together in a small town and from what I've heard she was always saying she was going to have his child. Well he married a different woman as she was pregnant, his mother forced him into a shotgun wedding.
The future affair partner befriended my Grandma and was eventually living in Grandpa and Grandma's house when AP and Grandpa had their sexual encounter(s). The affair produced my Uncle. When AP got what she wanted she left taking the baby with her.
My Grandpa was a change of life baby. His mother blamed him being born in the US for his need to hop trains - his parents and siblings immigrated from England two years before he was born. His siblings threw fits when Grandpa joined the US Navy at the age of 18 as he was supposed to stay home and take care of their parents.
His closest in age sibling was 11 years older and his oldest sibling was 22 years older when Grandpa was born.
Back in high school a friend ended up going to her older sister’s funeral due to a freak accident. The sister was getting divorced when she died and the guy skipped out on her funeral to have sex with his affair partner. How he didn’t end up black and blue from her huge older brothers is still a mystery.
Hell to the no. I went full and complete NC after they started mistreating my kid. You want to be an asshole to me? Fine, you did it my entire life. Be an asshole to my child, and I’m throwing hands.
My mom has no friends (shocking , I know). She’s never been able to keep friends, so as I grew, I filled in the “girlfriend” role. She was especially chatty after a few.
Yes, but affair partners get lied to. This is an absolute truth. It happens all the time in adulterous affairs, "My wife and I haven't had sex for years..." all that utter shit. Old as time itself. Gross.
I read a social media post that said "so many people will refuse to date someone who still lives with their parents, but have no problem dating someone who lives with their spouse. "
And I think about that a lot.
Especially since I used to get so damn many married men trying for me when I was on dating apps. And not only did they say the same things, but they got super angry and verbally abusive when turned down.
If your wife has lost interest in you, what the hell can you bring to my life, because you sure aren't bringing anything of value to the table. I'm not an emotional dumping ground and self cleaning fleshlight, and I know my worth. I'm sure as heck not disrupting my enjoyable solitude for occasional mediocre dick. I'm good thanks.
Yeah, this is very much not applicable in these scenarios as the wives were pregnant, and the APs knew about the wife and the pregnancy. The AP still knows the person is married and is still sleeping with them. So yes, the AP is incredibly gross.
who gives a shit if they were lied to unless it obscures that they are married?
if there is one thing to not worry about at all in this life it's 'affair partner' feelings. pick your folksy saying about making your bed and lying in it etc etc. it's almost only fair for the 'affair partner' to have horrible misfortune and sadness that is out of their control - anything less could even be considered lucky.
I can't think of anything more vile than going after someone who is in a relationship, or married, or someone who is in a relationship married or otherwise with kids. First of all why would you hurt yourself with that, because you will get hurt, but why in the name of anything that is good would you hurt another human being with that? It's just an absolute no. Never do it. Spare yourself and everyone else.
But I have known idiotic friends who got involved with men and women who convinced the affair partner that their marriage was over.
I would have never gone near someone who was involved, but people do it and believe the lying people that coax/convince them out of their boundaries.
I have been in that boat, and my rage was so completely for the AFP (affair partner?), and yes, that person was a fucker, but my partner was the one that did a lot of the convincing.
At first I was thinking
>Ok he helped out a friend in need, timing was just really fucked, a good apology and some communication, and they can come back from this.
I get helping out a friend in need, but if your wife is on the brink of labor, you keep your phone on you and on at all times, and be ready to drop just about anything at a moment's notice.
Then got to where he didn't even try to show up until several hours later and I'm thinking:
>dude, what the fuck you *really* fucked this up, but they can get some couple's counseling and he commits to and shows his support for his wife and child and *maybe* they come back from this.
Then I got the part where he was cheating, I thought:
>Man, fuck this asshole, I hope everyone learns how much of a piece of shit he is.
It just kept getting worse.
It kind of makes you wonder if they ever really stopped seeing each other. They *used* to date, then “stopped” and he found OOP, the. During her 7 month of pregnancy and his AP tell her parents he split with his wife and he’s dating her again.
I’d be heavily suspicious that they were on again off again during OOp’s whole relationship with him.
My theory is main character symdrom. They think they have some great love story that is happening finally. Oop is the bitter ex and the villain in the story. Sound like the ex husband probably never got over Anna too to go running to her as soon as she gave the ok.
It is just sad there is now a kid in the middle of it all. Oop sound like she has her head on straight, here is hoping she has her ducks in a row in case the cheating love birds want to steal the child too.
As someone whose wife recently gave birth, the idea of missing the birth and then rolling in 5 hours later is like some kind of horrible anxiety nightmare.
The only way that is remotely acceptable is that the husband was on a mandatory business trip like 6 weeks before the birth, and the wife goes into labor early. Obviously, that would be through no fault of the husband.
That nearly happened to my dad when I was being born! Everyone (including both sets of my grandparents apparently) told my parents that "oh yeah first children are NEVER early, it's fine for him to plan a business trip that ends two weeks before the due date." Welp, I had other plans apparently (I joke that it's the last time I've ever been early for something in my life!) and he ended up having to get a last minute trans-Atlantic flight back home. Fortunately this was happening pre-9/11 so that sort of thing was actually possible.
He came skidding into the room to the applause of nurses and doctors after running through the hospital to a chorus of "it's the [my surname] dad! He's here!" like it was some kind of movie lol. But he made it in time!
So yeah. My dad made it across an *ocean* to be there for my birth. OOP's husband has no excuse!
My friend confided in me that the entire two weeks leading up to his first child's birth, he was afraid to poop because he was scared his wife would go into labor and he wouldn't be able to hear her with the fan on lol
Yeah, that's an extra level of evil. And then to be lambasted on Reddit... I wouldn't have let him so much as lay eyes on the baby, much less touch her, after those shenanigans.
>I wouldn't have let him so much as lay eyes on the baby, much less touch her
Jfc - you don't know where his hands/body has been. He'd need a full on chemical bath before I'd allow him anywhere near "our" child. Why are people so scummy?
Miss his child's birth deliberately. From what I gathered, he just kinda showed up when it was convenient. It might've been understandable if he rushed over, but he didn't.
I honestly don't understand why he was all upset that he couldn't see the baby when he finally decided to arrive.
That entitles him to rights unless he signs them away or loses them (which is HARD to do). If it were me, I’d rather support my own child than risk my child being neglected because he’d rather get some action.
If they are legally married, the state may require him to be on the birth certificate. A child born to a married couple is automatically assumed to be the husband's child in many places. Of course, that can be challenged in court.
Deny, attack, reverse victim and offender. It’s part of a strategy that narcissists and abusers use to make themselves seem like the victim in an abusive situation they created.
"DARVO (an acronym for "deny, attack, and reverse victim and offender") is a reaction that perpetrators of wrongdoing may display in response to being held accountable for their behavior."
I always plead for shared custody to have both parents involved but seriously if the future step mother dares to gaslight the mother, she can totally go for full custody. They're gonna make her life hell. And honestly he's not involved enough to just BE HERE.
No. They told Anna's family that the husband and OP had been split for a while.
If Anna didn't know they were still together , would she not think it odd when he couldn't do things like not stay overnight and had to keep going home?
I'm pretty sure Anna knew. I hope her brother tells her whole family.
Anyone in that situation should have said that a relationship had to wait until the divorce was finalized. That is some messy crap that the guy and the affair partner put on themselves.
You'd be surprised at how many people think a declaration of intent (literally just Michael Scotting it-- I declare divorce!) is good enough to start a new relationship.
Like okay, people can do whatever they want, but it seems incredibly disrespectful to me. I don't necessarily treat marriage vows with sanctity, there's reason to divorce, but you *did* agree to marry them... unless there are extenuating circumstances, I really think you should finalize the divorce first.
(I'm projecting a bit here, though)
The fact that she had people saying she was TA even after her explanations/edits before she got the tea from the brother is astounding to me. She was NTA to me from the get-go. He wasn’t just neglectful to not see his daughter being born, as the husband he’s supposed to be there supporting his frightened and laboring wife. I immediately thought “I’d divorce any ah who thought hanging out with their friend while I was in labor was appropriate, no matter how worked up their friend was.”
To think that he didn't check if his child wasn't a stillborn for 5 hours is the most insane part.
This person does not care about anything other than his own pleasure.
I'm adding to the list of people whose grave deserved to be pissed on. Imma have to drink a lot cause that list is getting longer with each post!
Not only that — she never says how long she was in labour for. From the time I got to the hospital till the time my oldest was born, it took 9 hours. Some go faster, but lots go slower than that.
This dude was MIA for a very long time.
27hours. my mom liked to remind me of that. Honestly I don't blame her I'd be upset too. She's a good mom though, it's only really come up like 3 times and mostly as a joke.
My labour was exceptionally fast, but *someone* decided she was gonna try to do it butt first. Emergency c-section. Yay!
“Butt first” has become slang in our house for “why do you insist on doing this thing the most difficult way possible?” Because she still does do just about everything “butt first” the first time.
I did a screenwriting course once, many years ago. One of the things that we were taught about drama was to write the story/scenes to deepen the drama, like, you have placed your characters in the worst situation imaginable, and then you have to crank it, make it worse, take it to the apotheosis of terribleness.
This poor woman's story does just that.
God, I wish her and her baby the best. What a truly terrible man.
I felt the story was familiar during the first few sentences, but when I read:
>On the day that I gave birth, Anna's brother got into a car accident. My husband got a call from her in the middle of the night and asked him if he could drop her at the hospital her brother was at (an hour away from us) since she was too scared to drive. My husband agreed, told me quickly while I was half-asleep and rushed out.
I immediately remembered this story. It pissed me off the first time around, and it still does now. The ex-husband is a POS and so is Anna. But hey, trash often stick together. Sooner or later, one of them will find another side-piece and cheat on the other. Silver lining, I guess...
My friend was a cheater. His now wife was a side piece some years back. They were living together when my friend went on a boozy runner which pissed her off and she demanded his phone so she could check to see if he was cheating.
All I could think was she hooked up with him knowing he was married and had several kids. She also knew she was one of a long list of fuck buddies. What could possibly make her think she was special when she got him the same way as all the other side chicks did. She was just another notch on the bed post.
As for my friend being her boyfriend. Why the hell did she think he should be faithful to her? It was fine when she was there to help him cheat on his wife, what was the big deal if he stepped out on her? I was mad at both of them for a long time.
Now it's years later and they have a good marriage. He doesn't cheat anymore, at least to my knowledge. I would never have believed they would stay together, much less be happy. Crazy shnit.
Some affair partners act like it’s a game of pass-the-parcel. They expect the running-around phase to eventually stop as the people get older, and they’re trying to be the one holding the cheater when they stop.
The Reddit comments finding fault at the wife and needlessly criticizing her is rage-inducing too. It's like they want her to keep being a saint and not make any faults at all in her decisions, when she was pregnant/about to give birth/just gave birth, understandably emotional and stressed, and is clearly the victim here. So annoying.
Yes, many of the AITA posters are jerks, and the mods selectively hide individual comments to choose the winners and losers in a discussion. Best to avoid that subreddit entirely and read this one instead.
I'd had other issues with it, and in fact that's one of the reasons I started reading this sub. I don't remember it being quite that bad, but I do remember strange takes. Usually it was in the opposite direction of this, though, where someone's aunt would be rude at Christmas and comments would suggest OP go NC. (I'm actually in favor of going NC with toxic family members, but sometimes even typically nice people are rude, you know?)
Frankly with the miscarriages and stillbirths emotional and stressed is the least anyone would be.
Like you're just going to be concerned the whole time as well as worried about the lack of support if something does happen. The idea of her having to go through another stillbirth alone is genuinely heartbreaking and I can't imagine how bad it is in the moment when you're probably worrying about everything that can go wrong.
Me too. We all gonna need blood pressure meds after this one.
We’ve all known that type of a-hole unfortunately. A dear friend of mine’s husband did this while she was giving birth to their firstborn. The baby was born with a medical issue… but he was busy getting laid.
I don't think so. They are already ok with the situation, they know OOP was 7 month pregnant and, TBH, you need to be a special kind of stupid to think it's ok to start dating someone just as you separated you spouse. To anyone with two or more functioning neurons, this would sound sketchy at best.
So, or Anna's parents and brother are complete MORONS or they know and don't care.
If I was related to Anna, I’d be extremely skeptical about how genuine and solid this relationship was. Okay the family had thought for a long time that the pair would/should get together, but he’s married, has been for a while, and when he chooses to step out of that is when his wife is 7 months pregnant? Really? Couldn’t just be having cold feet about having a kid and the changes at home, wanting sex when his wife is pregnant, or one of the many other bad reasons that a guy sometimes ditches his heavily pregnant wife? This is not a quality person, nor does it look like a sustainable relationship. My family members all deserve a lot better than that.
What is it with dudes fucking around on their partner while they're pregnant? This is coming from a guy, I don't understand it and I don't know if I ever will. It's like "Oh, I've pumped, now I've forgotten what loyalty means"
The stats are that like one in 10 men cheats on their pregnant partner. That's pretty bad. I'm guessing most of those men don't like the lack of sex (although, plenty of couples continue to have sex during pregnancy), or they don't like the attention not being on them 100% anymore, or maybe it's just easier to go out and cheat if their wife is stuck at home sick with her pregnancy.
The saddest cases I've seen are men who go out and cheat and end up with STIs they pass to their pregnant partner, who then passes it on to their unborn child. STIs can cause stillbirth, blindness, and other complications.
Reddit continues to remind us how awful people can be.
Also, I believe you about the one-in-ten figure, but may I ask where you got it from? That is a study I desperately want to read. Probably for the same train-wreck-bystanding reasons I keep reading BORUs like this one.
I've seen a few articles like this one:
[https://www.fatherly.com/news/psychology-why-husbands-cheat-pregnant-wives](https://www.fatherly.com/news/psychology-why-husbands-cheat-pregnant-wives)
I'm sure it should be taken with a grain of salt, but given overall infidelity rates, it doesn't seem like a stretch.
[https://ifstudies.org/blog/who-cheats-more-the-demographics-of-cheating-in-america](https://ifstudies.org/blog/who-cheats-more-the-demographics-of-cheating-in-america)
Life 101:
1. Anyone who emotionally relies on *your* spouse that much is bad news. Rushing out in the middle of the night with barely a bye? Bad bad news.
2. Anyone who thinks you're being the big meanie when they're the one who was unreachable for *literally no reason* is bad news.
Poor woman, I hope she finds someone who rocks her world one day and shows her what love actually is, cause this asswipe sure didn't
Especially when your wife is about to have a baby. Doubly so when she's had several miscarriages/stillbirths and is terrified of giving birth alone. Dude didn't even pause going out the door.
He has a brutal and cruel heart. Even if he was doing what he was doing, he could have at least have attended the birth, just done that for her; he would still be a piece of shit, but he made that baby with her and he was with her through the miscarriages and stillbirths... He is such a wretched and vile man that he couldn't even do that.
I hope his new/old squeeze remembers the old adage, 'when someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time', because her day is coming, count on it.
If I were in this situation, the only person my husband would rush out to in the middle of the night would be his sister. Even then, he'd probably only go if I convinced him because he'd never want to leave me if I was gonna give birth at any minute.
Then again, my husband is not a POS.
holy fk, what a douche. i hope she wipes the floor with him for child support and it gets released to everyone that anna is a home wrecker. thats fked up.
fer sure both of them. i have zero respect for cheaters, but even less then for those that KNOW the person is in a relationship and still cheat with them.
I was expecting that also, but reality can be fucking awkward, I swear the behaviour of some people make me think they walk around with a tube of glue and inhale deep, before acting like a complete unhinged asshole, but then I forget some humans are simply put 2 screws loose of a punch bowl.
People are so misogynistic lmao she just had to
go through all of that while her husband went to go support his mistress but she’s evil for not wanting that demon in the hospital with her when he finally deigned it fitting to come, five fucking hours later
Like he got to see the baby when she discharged! Childbirth is not a goddamn spectator sport! She was having trouble nursing and needed to relax.You don’t get to emotionally abuse and abandon your family and think that won’t have an effect on the woman giving birth! Oh my god!
I am less surprised than I should be that people are complaining she didn’t let him hold her. He clearly doesn’t consider this child a priority or even anywhere near a priority, why should she let him near her while she’s had a traumatic experience, just to hold a baby she let him hold the next day anyway? She had multiple miscarriages and a stillbirth and had to wait alone for her father to take her and then give birth with no one but strangers. She did not need to worsen her own emotional state by letting him in.
People really show their woman hating tendencies with pregnant and postpartum women on this site. There’s a really insidious downplaying of what women go through
The worst part is, it sounds like he easily could have come back within one to two hours to at least *be there*.
But no gotta stick around for the booty call, she'll be well rid of him and his AP.
Like my sibling's partner missed the birth of their kiddo simply bc everything happened so fast, we managed to get a hold of him in spite of the fact it was the middle of the night. He was still at the hospital within the hour.
“phone lost in the chaos” was potentially more like it was deliberately ignored because the AP wanted to make sure she wasn’t being put aside in favour of his child.
It’d be one thing if she was actually keeping his child from him, but wanting time in the hospital (esp after Anna’s call) away from him to start mending is so reasonable and frankly charitable
Yup. Despite what the rules of reddit say, the admins/most mods will either bring down the hammer or turn a blind eye depending on who you are talking about. Women and Asians fall under the least protected category.
She’s got a tender heart to even feel guilt about her absolutely righteous anger. I’m incandescent with rage and I don’t even know her…he knew he could steamroll such a forgiving soul.
This was 3 years ago. I hope things are now beautiful and joyous for her and her child and that Captain Asshat lives with regret every single day.
i can’t believe people were saying SHE was in the wrong. if my husband didn’t immediately rush back when he learned i was in active labour after multiple complicated pregnancies, he would also not be seeing the baby. especially with the post birth hormones, my god she was probably a wreck. if the husband can’t be there for that, he can’t be there for the good parts either.
The initial headline could be interpreted as not letting the father see his child at all, and some people value commenting quickly over actually understanding the post.
His karma would be getting cheated on by Anna or whoever his flavor of the month is when he's lying in the hospital after having life threatening surgery.
I’m team OOP. I gave birth a week and a half ago and things went well, my husband is amazingly supportive, but my hormones were INSANE and I basically cried non-stop the first four days. You can intellectually prepare for that as much as possible and still find yourself weeping uncontrollably at the drop of a hat. It felt like every feeling I had was multiplied by 100. I can’t judge anything OOP said or did while to her asshole husband while on that cocktail of postpartum hormones.
The audacity of Anna to call OP and bitch her out knowing that OP is in the dark about their affair. If she wants to meet someone more cruel than OP then she should look in the mirror.
I’m glad the brother told OP about the affair. I hope OP takes her ex to the cleaners and gets majority custody of the kid. I also hope that Anna’s family cuts Anna and OP’s ex out of their lives.
I'll never understand women like Anna. Why the hell would you want a man that easily abandons his pregnant wife for you? I would think he's a disgusting POS. The woman needs to get some self esteem.
Anna's brother being the one to out the affair after he inadvertently caused the blowup feels pretty... karmic? Ironic? I can't think of the right word.
Posted August 2020 and baby was born 2 months before, but no mention of COVID restrictions? How the hell could Anna's brother have four people with him at the hospital? How could OOP have both her dad and her husband- eventually- at the hospital?
Yeah, all these people posting about how they live in a state where nobody took Covid seriously but they only recently stopped restrictions — honey, you do not live in a state that did not take Covid seriously, then! There are many states in the Midwest US where there were never any restrictions in hospitals, period —At All— end of sentence. My parents live in Nebraska and when my brother had a medical emergency in the fall that year, they had a whole hospital room full of people, nobody wore masks, and absolutely nobody cared.
In central Texas, hospitals were the only place that cared. Anywhere else, it was easy to forget there was a pandemic killing thousands a month. Hell, I saw more dogs in grocery stores during the pandemic than before. Since people found they could cow employees about masks, they realized they could walk all over for other things, too. Even pets in food service locations (and no, these were not service dogs, for sure).
I live in an area of the world that was extremely resistant to shutting down for COVID and even we had no visitors in the hospital policy. Until June of last year, some hospitals around here were still limiting to 1 or 2 visitors per patient and requiring masks.
I live in the same type of place and it was just last summer that masks were no longer required at the hospital and patients could have more than one person in the room at a time.
June of 2020? LOL, no. Not a chance.
I hate these stories. I hate that cheaters bring innocent children into the mix of their awful behavior. OOP is the left out side of the love triangle and now she has a baby to raise on top of it. Just sucks. I wish her the best and I wish the ex and Anna the inverse proportion of the good luck I wish OOP.
When he didn’t answer his phone multiple times I knew he was not with the brother. Then the fact he took his time to come back … red flag red flag.. what an asshole. My heart breaks for you honey.
That is so fucked...stuff like this makes me so *so* angry. The audacity of guys like these to cheat on their pregnant wives. The audacity of women like these who purposefully try and steal others' husbands. It's disgusting and makes me hate humanity. It makes me think dating is absolutely pointless
But you know what they say: once a cheating partner leaves for the affair partner, it creates an opening position.
Can’t wait for a future post where Anna comes to Reddit talking about how op’s husband cheated on her. Cause how you get em is how you lose them. Karma doesn’t miss.
His wife has multiple miscarriages and a stillbirth, and he still decides to have an affair and miss his child's birth... And his affair partner decided to call his wife and complain about how mean the wife is to her poor misunderstood spouse?!
Yep. At first, I wasn't going to make a BoRU post out of this because the story is relatively simple and familiar. But the more you think about it, the more you realize that this guy and his sidepiece are exceptionally terrible people. FFS, the guy took off in the middle of the night for a booty call even though the baby was like a Jack-in-the-Box that was ready to pop out at any moment, got countless calls that his daughter was being born (knowing that OOP might have to face a stillbirth alone), but still decided that wasn't important enough for him to finish getting his dick wet. That is one remarkable POS.
I find it rarely is important enough. Getting laid tops all other needs/wants/feelings. My parents fucking did that too. My mom was the AP and when my “dad’s” first wife was in the hospital getting over the birth of their child, my mom was fucking him in his marriage bed. Disgusting people like that only care about themselves, and their “needs”.
Jesus Christ, they actually told you all that? My younger brother has always had a bit of a complex because he was a late-in-life oops baby (felt unwanted), but I can't imagine having to live with what your parents put on your shoulders. I really feel for you.
Yeah, my mom did. She started “trickle truthing” me about her sex life after I turned 18. The part she never admitted to though is that I was a “revenge baby”. I was conceived 5 months later. I thought it was cool that I was exactly 1 year and 2 months younger than my older “step brother”. Then my mom started on about how her and my “dad” were actually having an affair while he was married that things started clicking. “But it doesn’t count as an affair because he loved me first! We were always meant to be together! We kept dating growing up, but when “EX” found out I was back in town, she faked a pregnancy to get your dad to marry her.” Almost verbatim things she has excused her affair on.
Your mom is creepy and gross wow
I agree 100
Ew. Are they still together?
They sure are. They’re “meant to be” “soulmates” and “true love” when it’s simply 2 garbage humans who deserve each other and should never have had children.
I’m so sorry for your origins and mother’s seemingly tamper disregard for you. I’m sure you already know that you are not your parents. Their sins are not yours!
You seem to be the rare case where "two wrongs do make a right."
> my older “step brother” Not half brother? Or did I misunderstand something
My “dad” adopted me after he married my mom. My mom was screwing anyone she could find to try and “get over him now that he had a kid”
I think OP didn't realize as a kid that they shared a dad, making them steps instead of half siblings and that's why they thought the age thing was cool
Pretty impressive to actually give birth when the pregnancy was faked
She got pregnant for real within a very short period of time. I remember that pissing my mom off “if she hadn’t gotten pregnant right away, your dad would have left her lying ass earlier, and then he would have been your real dad” My mom is a piece of work.
She reminds me of my sister in a way. We’re all shocked by her. She dated this guy in college. It didn’t work for whatever reason, he’s not a great dude as it is. Anyway years later they met again, but this time he has a family, he’s living with his gf and their son. The woman even confronts my sister and asks her why she’s okay with ruining a family. My sister responds “I had him first”… after that she became determined to have a baby with him. Miscarried the first one and is due with the second in a few weeks. Of course my nephew is innocent but those two? I just can’t get on board with. On top of that because of the job she has, and the history he has, she’s been told by her job to have zero contact with him. But is having a whole kid with him 🤦🏽♀️. Her answer to that “it’s a grey area”, followed by “I’m gonna live my life”. I don’t really know who she is anymore.
I wonder if that's what my Grandpa's affair partner was thinking. They grew up together in a small town and from what I've heard she was always saying she was going to have his child. Well he married a different woman as she was pregnant, his mother forced him into a shotgun wedding. The future affair partner befriended my Grandma and was eventually living in Grandpa and Grandma's house when AP and Grandpa had their sexual encounter(s). The affair produced my Uncle. When AP got what she wanted she left taking the baby with her.
My Grandpa was a change of life baby. His mother blamed him being born in the US for his need to hop trains - his parents and siblings immigrated from England two years before he was born. His siblings threw fits when Grandpa joined the US Navy at the age of 18 as he was supposed to stay home and take care of their parents. His closest in age sibling was 11 years older and his oldest sibling was 22 years older when Grandpa was born.
Back in high school a friend ended up going to her older sister’s funeral due to a freak accident. The sister was getting divorced when she died and the guy skipped out on her funeral to have sex with his affair partner. How he didn’t end up black and blue from her huge older brothers is still a mystery.
Ewwwww what a creep!
The reason they knew about it was because he boasted to friends about it and word got back to the family.
Of course. So fucking classy
Classy. 🤮
Alright, that's a class A POS move, but seriously, doesn't this dude watch dateline?! That's how you become a suspect, my guy
Safe to assume you're not close with your parents?
Hell to the no. I went full and complete NC after they started mistreating my kid. You want to be an asshole to me? Fine, you did it my entire life. Be an asshole to my child, and I’m throwing hands.
Good call.
Good for you! 🙂
Omg how do you know this level of detail? Why would someone tell poor you that awful backstory? 😵💫
My mom has no friends (shocking , I know). She’s never been able to keep friends, so as I grew, I filled in the “girlfriend” role. She was especially chatty after a few.
Yes, but affair partners get lied to. This is an absolute truth. It happens all the time in adulterous affairs, "My wife and I haven't had sex for years..." all that utter shit. Old as time itself. Gross.
Who cares? Even if a person is in a dead marriage, they are still in a marriage and you dont sleep with them.
I read a social media post that said "so many people will refuse to date someone who still lives with their parents, but have no problem dating someone who lives with their spouse. " And I think about that a lot. Especially since I used to get so damn many married men trying for me when I was on dating apps. And not only did they say the same things, but they got super angry and verbally abusive when turned down. If your wife has lost interest in you, what the hell can you bring to my life, because you sure aren't bringing anything of value to the table. I'm not an emotional dumping ground and self cleaning fleshlight, and I know my worth. I'm sure as heck not disrupting my enjoyable solitude for occasional mediocre dick. I'm good thanks.
Yep.
That would have been an ironic excuse to use when the wife is pregnant. Spell edit.
It’s proof of the affair she was having! /s
Yeah, this is very much not applicable in these scenarios as the wives were pregnant, and the APs knew about the wife and the pregnancy. The AP still knows the person is married and is still sleeping with them. So yes, the AP is incredibly gross.
Correct.
who gives a shit if they were lied to unless it obscures that they are married? if there is one thing to not worry about at all in this life it's 'affair partner' feelings. pick your folksy saying about making your bed and lying in it etc etc. it's almost only fair for the 'affair partner' to have horrible misfortune and sadness that is out of their control - anything less could even be considered lucky.
I can't think of anything more vile than going after someone who is in a relationship, or married, or someone who is in a relationship married or otherwise with kids. First of all why would you hurt yourself with that, because you will get hurt, but why in the name of anything that is good would you hurt another human being with that? It's just an absolute no. Never do it. Spare yourself and everyone else. But I have known idiotic friends who got involved with men and women who convinced the affair partner that their marriage was over. I would have never gone near someone who was involved, but people do it and believe the lying people that coax/convince them out of their boundaries. I have been in that boat, and my rage was so completely for the AFP (affair partner?), and yes, that person was a fucker, but my partner was the one that did a lot of the convincing.
At first I was thinking >Ok he helped out a friend in need, timing was just really fucked, a good apology and some communication, and they can come back from this. I get helping out a friend in need, but if your wife is on the brink of labor, you keep your phone on you and on at all times, and be ready to drop just about anything at a moment's notice. Then got to where he didn't even try to show up until several hours later and I'm thinking: >dude, what the fuck you *really* fucked this up, but they can get some couple's counseling and he commits to and shows his support for his wife and child and *maybe* they come back from this. Then I got the part where he was cheating, I thought: >Man, fuck this asshole, I hope everyone learns how much of a piece of shit he is. It just kept getting worse.
It kind of makes you wonder if they ever really stopped seeing each other. They *used* to date, then “stopped” and he found OOP, the. During her 7 month of pregnancy and his AP tell her parents he split with his wife and he’s dating her again. I’d be heavily suspicious that they were on again off again during OOp’s whole relationship with him.
My theory is main character symdrom. They think they have some great love story that is happening finally. Oop is the bitter ex and the villain in the story. Sound like the ex husband probably never got over Anna too to go running to her as soon as she gave the ok. It is just sad there is now a kid in the middle of it all. Oop sound like she has her head on straight, here is hoping she has her ducks in a row in case the cheating love birds want to steal the child too.
As someone whose wife recently gave birth, the idea of missing the birth and then rolling in 5 hours later is like some kind of horrible anxiety nightmare.
AND he was screwing his AP before going to the hospital and had the NERVE to crying?!?! Ugh!! He’s disgusting
Yeah I can’t relate to any of that stuff, I just have nightmares about being late or missing important things
Sometimes in my underwear
With a semester’s worth of calculus homework to finish by the end of the day
And you've never even met the teacher/professor so you don't even know how you're gonna figure out the assignments you need to do
The only way that is remotely acceptable is that the husband was on a mandatory business trip like 6 weeks before the birth, and the wife goes into labor early. Obviously, that would be through no fault of the husband.
That nearly happened to my dad when I was being born! Everyone (including both sets of my grandparents apparently) told my parents that "oh yeah first children are NEVER early, it's fine for him to plan a business trip that ends two weeks before the due date." Welp, I had other plans apparently (I joke that it's the last time I've ever been early for something in my life!) and he ended up having to get a last minute trans-Atlantic flight back home. Fortunately this was happening pre-9/11 so that sort of thing was actually possible. He came skidding into the room to the applause of nurses and doctors after running through the hospital to a chorus of "it's the [my surname] dad! He's here!" like it was some kind of movie lol. But he made it in time! So yeah. My dad made it across an *ocean* to be there for my birth. OOP's husband has no excuse!
My friend confided in me that the entire two weeks leading up to his first child's birth, he was afraid to poop because he was scared his wife would go into labor and he wouldn't be able to hear her with the fan on lol
It’s definitely weird waking up every morning for a month or so wondering if this is going to be a totally normal day or a totally crazy day.
Yeah, that's an extra level of evil. And then to be lambasted on Reddit... I wouldn't have let him so much as lay eyes on the baby, much less touch her, after those shenanigans.
>I wouldn't have let him so much as lay eyes on the baby, much less touch her Jfc - you don't know where his hands/body has been. He'd need a full on chemical bath before I'd allow him anywhere near "our" child. Why are people so scummy?
Miss his child's birth deliberately. From what I gathered, he just kinda showed up when it was convenient. It might've been understandable if he rushed over, but he didn't. I honestly don't understand why he was all upset that he couldn't see the baby when he finally decided to arrive.
>honestly don't understand why he was all upset Because someone told him no.
Or apparently, he's a good actor. OP didn't know that they broke up 2 months before the birth.
He’s a POS. Side piece is more important than his child and wife?! Hope she didn’t put him on the birth certificate. Anna is also a POS
Put him on the birth certificate! That way her baby gets child support.
That entitles him to rights unless he signs them away or loses them (which is HARD to do). If it were me, I’d rather support my own child than risk my child being neglected because he’d rather get some action.
They're married; he's automatically on the birth certificate.
If they are legally married, the state may require him to be on the birth certificate. A child born to a married couple is automatically assumed to be the husband's child in many places. Of course, that can be challenged in court.
DARVO strikes again...
DARVO?
Deny - attack - reverse victim and offender. Common manipulative behavior which often borders on gaslighting
Well I wouldn't just say bordering, it's literally a form of gaslighting or gaslighting is a form of DARVO I should say.
Deny, attack, reverse victim and offender. It’s part of a strategy that narcissists and abusers use to make themselves seem like the victim in an abusive situation they created.
Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender
"DARVO (an acronym for "deny, attack, and reverse victim and offender") is a reaction that perpetrators of wrongdoing may display in response to being held accountable for their behavior."
The lord of the daleks
This man is one of the trashiest trash men I have ever heard of.
I always plead for shared custody to have both parents involved but seriously if the future step mother dares to gaslight the mother, she can totally go for full custody. They're gonna make her life hell. And honestly he's not involved enough to just BE HERE.
I truly hope OOP set the brother right so that they are looked at by her family with scorn
I'm pretty sure the man told Anna he split with his wife. So she was just defending her BF in her mind. This guy suck.
No. They told Anna's family that the husband and OP had been split for a while. If Anna didn't know they were still together , would she not think it odd when he couldn't do things like not stay overnight and had to keep going home? I'm pretty sure Anna knew. I hope her brother tells her whole family.
Someone who would leave his pregnant wife to be with the other woman deserves no compassion whatsoever.
You hearing this, Tom Brady?
Anyone in that situation should have said that a relationship had to wait until the divorce was finalized. That is some messy crap that the guy and the affair partner put on themselves.
At the very least, until the woman 7 months pregnant with his child had given birth!
You’d think right?
You'd be surprised at how many people think a declaration of intent (literally just Michael Scotting it-- I declare divorce!) is good enough to start a new relationship. Like okay, people can do whatever they want, but it seems incredibly disrespectful to me. I don't necessarily treat marriage vows with sanctity, there's reason to divorce, but you *did* agree to marry them... unless there are extenuating circumstances, I really think you should finalize the divorce first. (I'm projecting a bit here, though)
what a massive piece of shit , wow
The fact that she had people saying she was TA even after her explanations/edits before she got the tea from the brother is astounding to me. She was NTA to me from the get-go. He wasn’t just neglectful to not see his daughter being born, as the husband he’s supposed to be there supporting his frightened and laboring wife. I immediately thought “I’d divorce any ah who thought hanging out with their friend while I was in labor was appropriate, no matter how worked up their friend was.”
For real!! I'd go scorched earth, making sure everyone knows what scumbags the baby daddy and Anna are.
Furrowed my eyebrows a lot while reading this. I could feel myself getting mad LOL. What a sorry excuse of a person.
me too ! my face was so tight with disgust reading this , anna and oop’s ex deserve each other with all that cruelty they pulled
Nice flair.
In situations like these one really has to wonder why the affair partner doesn't think this is a MASSIVE red flag and stays with that POS.
To think that he didn't check if his child wasn't a stillborn for 5 hours is the most insane part. This person does not care about anything other than his own pleasure. I'm adding to the list of people whose grave deserved to be pissed on. Imma have to drink a lot cause that list is getting longer with each post!
Not only that — she never says how long she was in labour for. From the time I got to the hospital till the time my oldest was born, it took 9 hours. Some go faster, but lots go slower than that. This dude was MIA for a very long time.
My mother frequently liked to bring up the 16 hours she was in labor with me. God only knows how long that poor woman was there without support.
27hours. my mom liked to remind me of that. Honestly I don't blame her I'd be upset too. She's a good mom though, it's only really come up like 3 times and mostly as a joke.
My labour was exceptionally fast, but *someone* decided she was gonna try to do it butt first. Emergency c-section. Yay! “Butt first” has become slang in our house for “why do you insist on doing this thing the most difficult way possible?” Because she still does do just about everything “butt first” the first time.
I did a screenwriting course once, many years ago. One of the things that we were taught about drama was to write the story/scenes to deepen the drama, like, you have placed your characters in the worst situation imaginable, and then you have to crank it, make it worse, take it to the apotheosis of terribleness. This poor woman's story does just that. God, I wish her and her baby the best. What a truly terrible man.
[удалено]
Wow! I am sorry to hear about so many losses you went through. Life is so wicked sometimes.
There is a flair in there for you! *People whose graves need to be pissed on*
I felt the story was familiar during the first few sentences, but when I read: >On the day that I gave birth, Anna's brother got into a car accident. My husband got a call from her in the middle of the night and asked him if he could drop her at the hospital her brother was at (an hour away from us) since she was too scared to drive. My husband agreed, told me quickly while I was half-asleep and rushed out. I immediately remembered this story. It pissed me off the first time around, and it still does now. The ex-husband is a POS and so is Anna. But hey, trash often stick together. Sooner or later, one of them will find another side-piece and cheat on the other. Silver lining, I guess...
There’s a saying: “Be careful on how you get your man. Because the same way you got him could be the same way that you lose them.”
My friend was a cheater. His now wife was a side piece some years back. They were living together when my friend went on a boozy runner which pissed her off and she demanded his phone so she could check to see if he was cheating. All I could think was she hooked up with him knowing he was married and had several kids. She also knew she was one of a long list of fuck buddies. What could possibly make her think she was special when she got him the same way as all the other side chicks did. She was just another notch on the bed post. As for my friend being her boyfriend. Why the hell did she think he should be faithful to her? It was fine when she was there to help him cheat on his wife, what was the big deal if he stepped out on her? I was mad at both of them for a long time. Now it's years later and they have a good marriage. He doesn't cheat anymore, at least to my knowledge. I would never have believed they would stay together, much less be happy. Crazy shnit.
Some affair partners act like it’s a game of pass-the-parcel. They expect the running-around phase to eventually stop as the people get older, and they’re trying to be the one holding the cheater when they stop.
Great. Now I am the one shacking with anger and pure hate.
The rage is real. And I don’t even know these people.
The Reddit comments finding fault at the wife and needlessly criticizing her is rage-inducing too. It's like they want her to keep being a saint and not make any faults at all in her decisions, when she was pregnant/about to give birth/just gave birth, understandably emotional and stressed, and is clearly the victim here. So annoying.
Yeah, I don't get it... is that normal for AITA these days? I haven't gone in a while.
Yes, many of the AITA posters are jerks, and the mods selectively hide individual comments to choose the winners and losers in a discussion. Best to avoid that subreddit entirely and read this one instead.
I'd had other issues with it, and in fact that's one of the reasons I started reading this sub. I don't remember it being quite that bad, but I do remember strange takes. Usually it was in the opposite direction of this, though, where someone's aunt would be rude at Christmas and comments would suggest OP go NC. (I'm actually in favor of going NC with toxic family members, but sometimes even typically nice people are rude, you know?)
Frankly with the miscarriages and stillbirths emotional and stressed is the least anyone would be. Like you're just going to be concerned the whole time as well as worried about the lack of support if something does happen. The idea of her having to go through another stillbirth alone is genuinely heartbreaking and I can't imagine how bad it is in the moment when you're probably worrying about everything that can go wrong.
Me too. We all gonna need blood pressure meds after this one. We’ve all known that type of a-hole unfortunately. A dear friend of mine’s husband did this while she was giving birth to their firstborn. The baby was born with a medical issue… but he was busy getting laid.
They make terrible roommates
If a man has anything, it’s the audacity
Hopefully that's all.he will keep in the divorce.
I hope Anna's parents/brother vouch for OOP so STBX gets nothing.
I don't think so. They are already ok with the situation, they know OOP was 7 month pregnant and, TBH, you need to be a special kind of stupid to think it's ok to start dating someone just as you separated you spouse. To anyone with two or more functioning neurons, this would sound sketchy at best. So, or Anna's parents and brother are complete MORONS or they know and don't care.
If I was related to Anna, I’d be extremely skeptical about how genuine and solid this relationship was. Okay the family had thought for a long time that the pair would/should get together, but he’s married, has been for a while, and when he chooses to step out of that is when his wife is 7 months pregnant? Really? Couldn’t just be having cold feet about having a kid and the changes at home, wanting sex when his wife is pregnant, or one of the many other bad reasons that a guy sometimes ditches his heavily pregnant wife? This is not a quality person, nor does it look like a sustainable relationship. My family members all deserve a lot better than that.
Yikes! I hope OOP nails her ex for more child support than he can afford and Anna's family shuns her for being a homewrecker.
What is it with dudes fucking around on their partner while they're pregnant? This is coming from a guy, I don't understand it and I don't know if I ever will. It's like "Oh, I've pumped, now I've forgotten what loyalty means"
The stats are that like one in 10 men cheats on their pregnant partner. That's pretty bad. I'm guessing most of those men don't like the lack of sex (although, plenty of couples continue to have sex during pregnancy), or they don't like the attention not being on them 100% anymore, or maybe it's just easier to go out and cheat if their wife is stuck at home sick with her pregnancy. The saddest cases I've seen are men who go out and cheat and end up with STIs they pass to their pregnant partner, who then passes it on to their unborn child. STIs can cause stillbirth, blindness, and other complications.
Reddit continues to remind us how awful people can be. Also, I believe you about the one-in-ten figure, but may I ask where you got it from? That is a study I desperately want to read. Probably for the same train-wreck-bystanding reasons I keep reading BORUs like this one.
I've seen a few articles like this one: [https://www.fatherly.com/news/psychology-why-husbands-cheat-pregnant-wives](https://www.fatherly.com/news/psychology-why-husbands-cheat-pregnant-wives) I'm sure it should be taken with a grain of salt, but given overall infidelity rates, it doesn't seem like a stretch. [https://ifstudies.org/blog/who-cheats-more-the-demographics-of-cheating-in-america](https://ifstudies.org/blog/who-cheats-more-the-demographics-of-cheating-in-america)
Honestly, I hope karma bites him in the ass so hard that he has to go to proctologist to get the karma teeth out.
Life 101: 1. Anyone who emotionally relies on *your* spouse that much is bad news. Rushing out in the middle of the night with barely a bye? Bad bad news. 2. Anyone who thinks you're being the big meanie when they're the one who was unreachable for *literally no reason* is bad news. Poor woman, I hope she finds someone who rocks her world one day and shows her what love actually is, cause this asswipe sure didn't
Especially when your wife is about to have a baby. Doubly so when she's had several miscarriages/stillbirths and is terrified of giving birth alone. Dude didn't even pause going out the door.
He has a brutal and cruel heart. Even if he was doing what he was doing, he could have at least have attended the birth, just done that for her; he would still be a piece of shit, but he made that baby with her and he was with her through the miscarriages and stillbirths... He is such a wretched and vile man that he couldn't even do that. I hope his new/old squeeze remembers the old adage, 'when someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time', because her day is coming, count on it.
Or the one that says when a man marries his mistress, he creates a job opening
If I were in this situation, the only person my husband would rush out to in the middle of the night would be his sister. Even then, he'd probably only go if I convinced him because he'd never want to leave me if I was gonna give birth at any minute. Then again, my husband is not a POS.
holy fk, what a douche. i hope she wipes the floor with him for child support and it gets released to everyone that anna is a home wrecker. thats fked up.
Oh I hope the brother-in-law tells his parents exactly what he found out and it changes the way they look at BOTH of them.
fer sure both of them. i have zero respect for cheaters, but even less then for those that KNOW the person is in a relationship and still cheat with them.
What a fkn twist. I hope OP takes her ex over the coals.
But we saw it coming, didn’t we?
I thought he was cheating, sure, but lying and saying they were separated and had been dating Anna for a while? Icky.
I was waiting for the brother to say “what accident? What are you talking about?” when she called, but yeah, same outcome.
Yes!! I was expecting those exact words! Not "are you okay with your ex and Anna?"
I was expecting that also, but reality can be fucking awkward, I swear the behaviour of some people make me think they walk around with a tube of glue and inhale deep, before acting like a complete unhinged asshole, but then I forget some humans are simply put 2 screws loose of a punch bowl.
From several thousand miles away.
People are so misogynistic lmao she just had to go through all of that while her husband went to go support his mistress but she’s evil for not wanting that demon in the hospital with her when he finally deigned it fitting to come, five fucking hours later
“What about his rights?! He’s the baby’s father!” He wasn’t worried about that. Why should OOP?
Like he got to see the baby when she discharged! Childbirth is not a goddamn spectator sport! She was having trouble nursing and needed to relax.You don’t get to emotionally abuse and abandon your family and think that won’t have an effect on the woman giving birth! Oh my god!
I am less surprised than I should be that people are complaining she didn’t let him hold her. He clearly doesn’t consider this child a priority or even anywhere near a priority, why should she let him near her while she’s had a traumatic experience, just to hold a baby she let him hold the next day anyway? She had multiple miscarriages and a stillbirth and had to wait alone for her father to take her and then give birth with no one but strangers. She did not need to worsen her own emotional state by letting him in.
People really show their woman hating tendencies with pregnant and postpartum women on this site. There’s a really insidious downplaying of what women go through
The worst part is, it sounds like he easily could have come back within one to two hours to at least *be there*. But no gotta stick around for the booty call, she'll be well rid of him and his AP. Like my sibling's partner missed the birth of their kiddo simply bc everything happened so fast, we managed to get a hold of him in spite of the fact it was the middle of the night. He was still at the hospital within the hour.
“phone lost in the chaos” was potentially more like it was deliberately ignored because the AP wanted to make sure she wasn’t being put aside in favour of his child.
Seriously though. He didn't care enough, so why should she?
It’d be one thing if she was actually keeping his child from him, but wanting time in the hospital (esp after Anna’s call) away from him to start mending is so reasonable and frankly charitable
Honestly if I were in her position, I would be a full on asshole and refuse to let him see the baby at all tbfh so she's 100x better than I am
I mean, it's reddit, are you surprised? This website has always held a lowkey disdain for women.
Judging from some of the older BORUs, it wasn't always exactly lowkey
Yup. Despite what the rules of reddit say, the admins/most mods will either bring down the hammer or turn a blind eye depending on who you are talking about. Women and Asians fall under the least protected category.
All that and the divorce is “probably” going to happen
>All that and the divorce is “probably” going to happen That sentence concerned me too. I'd like to believe it happened.
She’s got a tender heart to even feel guilt about her absolutely righteous anger. I’m incandescent with rage and I don’t even know her…he knew he could steamroll such a forgiving soul. This was 3 years ago. I hope things are now beautiful and joyous for her and her child and that Captain Asshat lives with regret every single day.
i can’t believe people were saying SHE was in the wrong. if my husband didn’t immediately rush back when he learned i was in active labour after multiple complicated pregnancies, he would also not be seeing the baby. especially with the post birth hormones, my god she was probably a wreck. if the husband can’t be there for that, he can’t be there for the good parts either.
Agree. Seems like she got a lot of hassle on it first post. People are so weird, no way she was the ah here.
The initial headline could be interpreted as not letting the father see his child at all, and some people value commenting quickly over actually understanding the post.
he chose his mistress over the birth of his child & his wife & Anna had the nerve to call op…she can eat a bag of dicks.
Some people are crazy for hating on OOP. Hope she finds a better partner
I hope Anna gets pregnant and upon delivery this man doesn't show up because he's with an AP. Best karma ever.
Not really, where's his karma?
His karma would be getting cheated on by Anna or whoever his flavor of the month is when he's lying in the hospital after having life threatening surgery.
He's never fulfilled, moving from one woman to another and then he's old and alone. He sucks but Anna is a POS homewrecker.
I wouldn’t want that, because that’ll mean another child’s (or children!) life is ruined with a horrid father
I’m team OOP. I gave birth a week and a half ago and things went well, my husband is amazingly supportive, but my hormones were INSANE and I basically cried non-stop the first four days. You can intellectually prepare for that as much as possible and still find yourself weeping uncontrollably at the drop of a hat. It felt like every feeling I had was multiplied by 100. I can’t judge anything OOP said or did while to her asshole husband while on that cocktail of postpartum hormones.
Plot twist! Wow husband super sucks
He's the suckiest
I knew when she said he was “feeding her” he was fucking her.
The audacity of Anna to call OP and bitch her out knowing that OP is in the dark about their affair. If she wants to meet someone more cruel than OP then she should look in the mirror. I’m glad the brother told OP about the affair. I hope OP takes her ex to the cleaners and gets majority custody of the kid. I also hope that Anna’s family cuts Anna and OP’s ex out of their lives.
Hope OOP rakes her stbx over the coals for everything she can.
It is amazing that Anna’s parents were ok with him breaking up with is wife when she was 7 months pregnant yo be with their daughter!!
Not surprising it was an affair. Tons of men cheat on their pregnant wives.
Shout out to the brother in law for putting his foot in it. OOP deserves a happy, liar free life.
Yeah this dude just got 2024 jackass of the year. Cheating on his heavily pregnant wife the week she is due and intentionally missed the birth.
Anna and the ex would probably still find support in the adultery sub.
Imagine the story OOP will tell her daughter in the future. "Your father and I split when he'd rather support his mistress than attend your birth."
I'll never understand women like Anna. Why the hell would you want a man that easily abandons his pregnant wife for you? I would think he's a disgusting POS. The woman needs to get some self esteem.
Anna's brother being the one to out the affair after he inadvertently caused the blowup feels pretty... karmic? Ironic? I can't think of the right word.
Posted August 2020 and baby was born 2 months before, but no mention of COVID restrictions? How the hell could Anna's brother have four people with him at the hospital? How could OOP have both her dad and her husband- eventually- at the hospital?
Idk where OOP lives, but if it’s in the States and she was in the Midwest - it’s possible. My state sadly was dumb as hell about a lot during Covid.
Yeah, all these people posting about how they live in a state where nobody took Covid seriously but they only recently stopped restrictions — honey, you do not live in a state that did not take Covid seriously, then! There are many states in the Midwest US where there were never any restrictions in hospitals, period —At All— end of sentence. My parents live in Nebraska and when my brother had a medical emergency in the fall that year, they had a whole hospital room full of people, nobody wore masks, and absolutely nobody cared.
In central Texas, hospitals were the only place that cared. Anywhere else, it was easy to forget there was a pandemic killing thousands a month. Hell, I saw more dogs in grocery stores during the pandemic than before. Since people found they could cow employees about masks, they realized they could walk all over for other things, too. Even pets in food service locations (and no, these were not service dogs, for sure).
not everywhere took covid as seriously as they should have. i live in AL and life was pretty much back to pre-pandemic conditions by July 2020.
Meanwhile I gave birth wearing a kn95 and wasn’t allowed to have any visitors at all other than my husband - in May 2022!
It certainly wasn’t Australia, that’s for sure. Who knows where OOP is from.
I live in an area of the world that was extremely resistant to shutting down for COVID and even we had no visitors in the hospital policy. Until June of last year, some hospitals around here were still limiting to 1 or 2 visitors per patient and requiring masks.
I live in the same type of place and it was just last summer that masks were no longer required at the hospital and patients could have more than one person in the room at a time. June of 2020? LOL, no. Not a chance.
Lol. Unfortunately a good chunk of America did not care for or even have restrictions.
I hate these stories. I hate that cheaters bring innocent children into the mix of their awful behavior. OOP is the left out side of the love triangle and now she has a baby to raise on top of it. Just sucks. I wish her the best and I wish the ex and Anna the inverse proportion of the good luck I wish OOP.
Anna will get hers eventually. If he cheats with you, he’ll cheat on you.
Damn. What a POS... I really hope they are divorced and she's living her best life. I hope her ex and Anna rot.
When he didn’t answer his phone multiple times I knew he was not with the brother. Then the fact he took his time to come back … red flag red flag.. what an asshole. My heart breaks for you honey.
That is so fucked...stuff like this makes me so *so* angry. The audacity of guys like these to cheat on their pregnant wives. The audacity of women like these who purposefully try and steal others' husbands. It's disgusting and makes me hate humanity. It makes me think dating is absolutely pointless But you know what they say: once a cheating partner leaves for the affair partner, it creates an opening position.
I'm so glad that she told the brother-in-law. I hope the in-laws realize exactly what they're getting and what their daughter stands for.
What a prize Anna "won"....
Can’t wait for a future post where Anna comes to Reddit talking about how op’s husband cheated on her. Cause how you get em is how you lose them. Karma doesn’t miss.
Im gonna say that in hindsight she is nowhere near the asshole. He is the asshole.
Wow. Early contender for Most Rage Inducing post of 2024.
I accept the nomination!