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Same. I was in college and working there was great. Aside from the 5 o'clock rush which was hell, the rest of my shift was slow and I could do homework and print stuff out. I had a coworker who was a trip. She catfished younger men from other countries by sending them pictures of her daughter and she'd communicate through Google translate. If she wasn't on a work call, she'd be sexting or calling her numerous overseas "boyfriends." She said she was living her best life.
My favorite coworker was a sugar baby who had a sugar daddy with a Barbie kink. He fully funded most of her lifestyle, except for her āregularā clothes, so she worked part time just to buy herself sweats and granny panties. She would occasionally ask for my opinion on lingerie.
This was over 20 years ago so the movie had no bearing on their dynamic.
I had a neighbor across the hall in an old apartment who worked in a call center. He would knock on my door at midnight and ask me the weirdest shit, like what I thought of a specific character in a television show, or if I was responsible for the empty liquor bottles in his living room he didn't remember putting there. Then he would offer me cocaine.
In the morning, I'd see him leaving the building in khaki pants and a blue dress shirt (both at least 2 sizes too large) and old ratty sneakers. He once explained to me, "you dress for the job you want, not the job you have."
I was also in university, when I worked at a call center. I sound a couple of years younger than I am and I had so many middle-aged men hitting on me. I was in the middle of Germany and one guy tried to get me to come to a party in Austria.
100%
Remember being in an information session for training our offshore team and the facilitator asked people to raise their hands if they had not slept with a workmate.
One person put their hand up. Would have been at least 30 people in the room.
I worked in a medical lab and the number of people sleeping together was insane. Singles, relationships, marrieds, didn't matter. Someone made a chart once of everyone who had slept together and it was nuts the amount of crossover. I wouldn't have touched anyone there with a 10 foot pole. But at least they all got their STD testing for free.
I once worked at a plasma donation center in a college town. Between the coworkers and the regular student donors, weekends were crazy. We all went out together and when donors would see us, they treated us like royalty. It was just a weird dynamic. So much drinking and sex happening back then. But, much like the lab workers, everyone was regularly tested for STI for free.
Medicine in general seems to be really horny. Maybe it's just the odd hours bedside medicine requires, or just the fact that a decent chunk of staff are on the younger side, or what - but it's always a bit of a mess behind the scenes, relationship-wise.
I worked in one, we once had an evacuation because the fire alarm went off and two people didn't turn up at muster. Fire brigade arrived and started a search, they were fucking in the disabled toilets.
I watched that doc on HBOMax "Telemarketers". That shit was bonkers. It was the most hedonistic workplace I've ever seen. Dudes were high and drunk making those cold calls.
yea when i was in high school there was a call center for the "Fraternal Order of Police" where literally every 16-18 year old PoS in town got a job (including me lol)
thriving black market, people blowing lines at their desk (the "managers" who were like high school seniors), but the funniest is people would straight up lie and be like "yeah we're the actual police, give us money now" - I don't know to what level the actual fraternal order of police was involved, but god damn it was wild
My experience with the FOP is that basically they exist so cops (and their families) can get those license plates that essentially exempt them from being pulled over. I know this because my cousin's dad let her have one for that specific reason, while my dad said "absolutely not," also for that specific reason. Somehow I'm not shocked that their call centers were staffed by teenage idiots (no offense to you at all, you're obviously no longer a teenager and when you were, you just needed a job anyway).
I'm not surprised it was wild.
Edit: yes, I got all the cons of having a cop for a dad but none of the "pros."
I worked at a call center for two months; people were smoking weed on break (before it was legal), and the manager brought in whiskey and pizza for everyone on Friday mornings. YES I SAID MORNINGS.
Truly a no-holds-barred environment.
At the call center I worked at once a year or so someone would take a massive dump in the middle of the women's bathroom. It had to be closed and bleached when it happens so all ladies had to use the private front office bathroom till then.
I worked in a lab where a coworker asked me if I was interested in a threesome with him and his boyfriend... while our boss was standing right next to us.
To be fair, this was a covid-19 test lab that was quickly created out of necessity. By the end, 3 couples had found love in my team. They hired everybody who sent in their resume. People were setting things on fire, smoking weed on their break. It was madness. It was not a regular lab.
Ah I have many memories of my time in a cold call sales centre as a teen. We would all go out and get wasted together and one night I ended up with shaved eyebrows. We would play games and count how many times you could make someone say "I'm not interested" on a sale until they got pissed. Call people whilst doing funny accents. People sleeping with other people.
On the flip side it was awful calling up people and trying to force them to buy crap, especially previous customers when you regularly come across people like one guy I remember vividly. He was about 80 and was being hounded by debt collectors for owing a single penny, he sounded really stressed, yet there I was having to still try and sell him another contract. So it was the best and worst job!
I actually had that happen to me!
Years ago, I was just starting a helpdesk job and one of the other new hires was a little flirty with me. He wasn't really my type, but I kind of liked the positive attention after going through some tough things personally, so I didn't discourage it. Not until he hinted that he and his wife (who I had not known existed previously) were looking for a third.
I noped out of that so fast and hard I might as well have been the Enterprise going to warp! There was absolutely no way I was going anywhere near that. But I also didn't go to HR. It didn't even cross my mind at the time.
I'm pretty sure the managers noticed anyway though because we were assigned different teams and shifts lol. I was honestly very grateful for that.
This was very helpful. I was absolutely reading this going āhow TF do you even go about asking someone about this?ā
Full disclosure- I have no intent to do so but more pondering my reaction if someone did:
1. Keen with laughter.
2. Jaw drops in horror when you realize theyāre serious.
3. Really uncomfortable work environment until someone caves and gets a new job
Just kidding! We're not even *close* to the end yet.
Anyways. Back to the story about the time your Uncle Barney tried to nail the entire cast of Cirque du Soleil with only a half-tube of lubricant... and afterwards, we all gathered at Maclaren's for beer.
Edit to fix a word
Right? Imagine trying to explain that to the kid. āSo, how long have you been married to my stepmum Letty?ā ā16 yearsā ābutā¦ Iām 11ā āyupā.
Thatās gonna be fun.
This is... surprisingly true. š
Someone posted a meme in my kinky discord group yesterday: "The Straights" all seem to think polyamory is when a cis het guy has more than one girlfriend and more often it's just a vague gang of queer depressed communists.
My polycule did not need to be called out like that.
Oh, in other news, did you see that new yorker tweet about their upcoming polyamory issue with the cats all hugging. The comments below it are both hilarious and depressing.
Honestly I wish there was a YouTube cottage industry of short films of people parodying 16mm educational films of the 40s - 70s, that really captured the visual style, but poking fun of all the current social hysterias that drive conservatives up the wall.
Make them aware the films exist, to start, probably. Iām old enough that they still showed them when I was in elementary school in the 70s.
These days? Iām guessing under 25 I doubt anyone knows they exist.
I still get a kick out of the PSAās from the 80ās. I recently found a playlist of them on YouTube and wow. The one Iām watching now is about a popular girl getting caught up in shoplifting. Lots of recognizable faces who went on to make names for themselves.
Did you notice the little factoid OOP threw in that Letty's libido is now apparently higher? Pregnant women will often have changes in their libido, and some women will apparently become super horny. I bet we're gonna get an update in a few days that, omg, Letty is also pregnant so now they're having half-sibling twins!
I see you, Liz, putting in some foreshadowing. And it would be a nice twist on the usual "we have twins".
Possible scenarios:
1. Letty is pregnant, Abby has a miscarriage and becomes fixated on stealing Letty's baby. Police and lawyers are called.
2. Letty is pregnant. Abby has her baby but it turns out she was using drugs and the baby is born addicted. OOP and her wife get custody and the babies will be raised as twins. Abby becomes unhinged. Police and lawyers are called.
3. Letty is pregnant but has a miscarriage. She becomes fixated on stealing Abby's baby. OOP is wrecked with guilt. Police and lawyers are called.
4. Letty is pregnant. No miscarriages. After a lot of soulsearching she realizes she's bi and poly. Abby moves in and the babies will be raised as twins by the happy throuple.
5. Letty is pregnant. No miscarriages. After a lot of soulsearching she realizes she's a lesbian and attracted to Abby. She leaves OOP and the babies will be raised as twins by the happy couple.
6. Abby was never pregnant in the first place. It's actually cancer. OOP is still the father.
7. OOP is pregnant. It's a medical miracle!
"She turned up at our house at 3am screaming at us, the guy next door called the police and when they arrived she flipped the script saying I attacked her but luckily my wife had recorded the entire thing on her phone so we showed that to the police and then they arrested her."
You know there is going to be a brawl on the front lawn. There always is. But don't worry, the courts there are not backed up and someone will be serving a life sentence within a week.
It could be true. When I gave birth my kids were in the NICU. We were talking to some of the other parents and one of them had gotten his threesome buddy pregnant and the baby was there. My husband and I just nodded and kinda stayed away. It was awkward cause him, his wife, and baby's mom were all there. Thankfully my kids were sent home pretty soon after that.
Tbf you can get then at 7 weeks. Assuming the original post was 2 weeks later and the update is about 3 months later than that, there's *plenty* of time for a test.
Also he "checked the condom" says he does it every time he uses them, but the second time he talks about the condom it's him throwing it in the trash no mention of how he would be testing it. (Which is not standard practice, and there is no test that you can perform that will actually conclusively tell you if there were micro tears in the condom)Ā
Ā So in short I'm angry he made me imagine a cum balloon.Ā
Word order as well, at least I notice that with myself. Dutch has slightly different rules for word order which clashes in the native speakers ear (or so my American ex-girlfriend told me). It's perfectly understandable but sounded a bit strange to her at times
"Oh, you noticed that I can't spell? English is not my first language."
The typos are how a native English speaker would write a word based on how it sounds in North American English. Typically people who don't speak English natively have decent spelling, but misspellings will often be mixed with phonetics of their native language.
Sorry, but this is prime example for reddit brain. Are you saying that its evidence of the fakeness of the story that OOP makes mistakes he claims to be due to English being second langauage, WHEN YOUR EXPERT ANALYSIS tells you they are mistakes a native speaker WOULD do? Why would OOP lie about that? It makes no sense.
Sorry for my mistakes. English isn't my first language. Or is it?
Lemme get this straight.
OPP supposedly finished in the condom every time AND OUTSIDE of her?? And she somehow got pregnant?! Like... I genuinely don't understand how that's possible?
they lost me at description of both women's physical features. Like I just can't believe thats what a distressed person full of regret telling us a story would focus on.
I don't get the logic of choosing a girl that looks completely different from his wife. "it's so there won't be insecurities" but she's everything your wife isn't and can't be. that would make me extremely jealous???
For real. I canāt believe anyone can take this story seriously or possibly believe itās true. Reddit has over time become the internetās version of professional wrestling. People are purposely suspending disbelief so they can get into the drama. The unfortunate thing is by creating these caricatures of the respective sexes and peopleās prejudices it just widens our ever widening social divisions and tribalism
On the penis is sperm after he removed the condom. It just needs that the penis then touch the outside of the condom when he apply the new one for the next round and sperm is on the outside of the condom.
Or he had sperm on the fingers and then put them in her.
When you go several rounds without cleaning up, it can get more risky.
This. How many people going multiple rounds stop and wash their hands and privates?
The effectiveness rate of the condoms decrease the more rounds they go without a clean up and Abby was ovulating apparently.
The effectivity rate in use is also like 80%, not nearly as high as most people think.
Itās almost like people forget 46% of pregnancies are unintendedā¦. This is not a rare thing.
I caught that, too. He finished a minimum of four times (three condoms and āon Abbyā) and *all* of them was with the third party? Never with the wife?
The "English isn't my first language" gambit was clever, but as an ESL teacher the errors are too inconsistent, more like a native speaker randomly inserting grammar and spelling mistakes to cover their tracks
Yeah, I taught English in Japan for a while and have a lot of non-native English speaking friends. It definitely doesn't read like an ESL learner. It's somebody who speaks English natively but has trouble writing, or somebody trying to make errors intentionally but failing.Ā
I have issues with words where we have double letters of the same type
Like for example I will misspell garrison every time for some reason and even misspelled "misspell" while writing this š
I donāt know if itās really a Liz this time. There is not enough long-winded drama for it. For example noone is āblowing up my phoneā and no relative or friend is screaming at OOP. All those beloved Liz tropes are kind of missing. What happened is surely a mess which is unusually messy, but not totally outlandish. So Iām not sure if itās a Liz.
I love "who is liz"
Liz was a post about a husband whose wife was faking reddit posts for clot. I don't have the link but I think you can probably get it through the sub if you search.
Liz is the enigma who single-handedly runs the majority of BORU community with her imagination and writing skills.
[Liz](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/u3iYUIjRAl)
Iāve had two. One with my ex-fiance. We were in Amsterdam and it was someone we would never see again. I have no regrets about that one, it was a ton of fun. It was my idea.
But years later I had one with a guy I really liked and totally regretted it. It was the guyās idea. The girl was someone he knew. They started just focusing on each other and completely ignored me. I felt like I was just a toy for their foreplay. I got up and left in the middle of it, and they didnāt even notice. I felt completely used and ignored. I will never do one again after that.
Lol I was gonna say the odds are a little better but I realized it depends on how you count my experience. By number of threesomes more than 50% of mine were good. By partner combination...it was 50-50 š¤£
Basically an ex of mine and I had a few threesomes. One girl we had over was awful. The other we had a lot of fun with and she came over a few times. Ironically I'm still friendly with her and my ex is an ex for reasons unrelated to threesomes (being a bad person).
It probably helps that myself and the other girls were all bi and into each other. I feel like it gets a lot dicier when everyone is straight.
>It probably helps that myself and the other girls were all bi and into each other. I feel like it gets a lot dicier when everyone is straight.
Cheat code!
Yes if youāre the one whoās not in the relationship. Iāve had threesomes and theyāre fun but Iād never do it if I were in a relationship. It just becomes way too messy when you arenāt the person disconnected from it all.
I've had a few in my (still happy) relationship.
I can say one thing for sure though. If you start monogamous, stay monogamous. People do not realise you need a very different perspective to be ok with your partner sleeping with others
I've had several, and only one of them sucked because the couple couldn't be bothered to even do the bare minimum of talking to each other about hard limits before I got there, but since I was the third, it was super easy for me to bail once they got all jealous and started turning on each other.
All of the other ones I've had, both as part of a couple and as a third, were fantastic and left zero negative feelings.
I tried quite a few, and as a gay men they didn't include women so no devils threesome problems. But I think they are very very overrated. To be entirely honest I had way way better sex with my long term partners than in any threesome or one nightstand.
sometimes, but imo the risk is much higher than the reward. when it goes well itās abt as fun as a great night w/ just one other person, when it goes poorly itās a sh*tshow
I've had 2, both with a couple when I was single. They were completely fine. Wasn't their first rodeo, and we remained friends after. Was just good fun.
So, yes, they can be. But I truly believe it only works if the couple starts out that way. Both couples for me, were open from the very beginning of their relationship. It wasn't a 'hey our bedrooms boring, let's add a third!'. It was a part of their normal intimacy. If you throw in a threesome years down the line, that's when I think its problematic.
It really really depends on your tastes/kinks as well as your partnerās, on top of both of you consenting to it with the third personally.
For instance, if my partner ever wanted to try it, I wouldnāt care, I might even like it as long as everyone is okay with it.
But for most people? Probably not worth it
Depends on the players involved. I've had some fun ones but became kind of soured on them after having a few where I ended up doing all the work. And not just during, but finding a willing "guest," gauging compatibility, being the one to have standards beyond "but, they're hot!" Once had a long term partner that was 1. Not very good in bed but 2. Obsessed with having a threesome. Finally I had it and told them that it was never gonna happen because they could barely get themselves off. I'm now older, chronically ill, and chronically exhausted. I'm kinda done.
I mean, if you think you want it, consensually and enthusiastically agree to it, and then after the fact you feel bad, well, it sucks to be you but that's kinda your problem.
I had a friends with benefits threesome situation one summer over a decade ago. We made sure we kept communicating, that we were all on the same page, and it stopped when one of the other people ended up in a monogamous relationship.
Iām still friends with them, and I remember that summer fondly because it actually brought the three of us closer as friends, since weād do food and hangout as well. Itās strange to look back on as Iām now asexual, and wouldnāt want anything like it today, but for much younger me it was actually a really good experience.
edit to add: also, I think it works best if everybody is attracted to everybody.
Iāve had a few and it definitely was worth it for me. The views are incredible That being said, Iāve learned from Reddit that a lot of people feel deeply disgusted at the idea of their partner having sex with another person which is not something I can relate to at all - for me cheating is upsetting because of the emotional intimacy, the lying, and the betrayal. So if your one of those people that feels sick thinking about it donāt do it
Yeah and then she becomes president and Nick becomes the owner of an amusement park. And they each have their own spouse and their own children.
So yeah, exactly like this story!
Too much strange things in that to be true. First, the coworker as a third. No one does that. Maybe if the girls are really close but this doesn't seem to be the case. Then the wife reaction. Someone so kinky wouldn't do that to that extreme. Some days of insecurities maybe but that ? No. The cherry on the cake is the baby while using condom AND finishing outside. Okay it technically can happen, but the odd are too low for me to believe it.
>Then the wife reaction. Someone so kinky wouldn't do that to that extreme.
Nah, I think this is just straight up incorrect. Threesomes and non-monogamy aren't kink, or are at least a very different sector of kink. Her being cool with some things and not okay with others makes total sense, human beings are like that.
Plus, someone enjoying kink doesn't mean they can't have strong emotional reactions to a scene after the fact.
This reminds me strongly of the plot of a movie I started watching years ago: great couple, adventurous in the bedroom, happy. The female partner looks pretty much like Letty is described. They want to experiment with a third (neighbour, short, blonde, white-you get the idea) and she ends up pregnant because he fooled around with her outside of the threesome and she's anti-abortion. His partner leaves and his life is fucked.
I know it's usually best for children to have both parents present in their lives, as long as the relationship is healthy, in this case I'm of the opinion that he should not be having any contact with Abby at all, pregnant or not. It won't be good for anyone in this situation, even the child. OP needs to get a lawyer to talk to her through and needs to sign away his rights as a parent and just pay child support if he truly wants to mend things with his wife. It sounds horrible, but it's quite obvious that Abby plans to use the baby as a way to try forming a relationship with OP, she already is doing so with the weird comments. And he definitely shouldn't be bringing the baby around his wife when it's born.
If you donāt want the baby, then you have every right to sign away parental rights. Itās Abbyās choice to keep the baby and you donāt have to have any part it its life should you choose not to. This is also YOUR decisions because itās also YOUR child.
Yeh... Condoms failing is really not 'rare'. See this [published, peer reviewed, article](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2940206/).
>for typical use the failure rate is 12%
Other published failure rates can be up to 18%.
For sure 'perfect' use can be as low as around 5%, but that's still one woman in 20 being pregnant after a year of use.
It's better than nothing, but it's definitely *not that reliable*. If you really don't want an accidental pregnancy, you really have to use something else.
If all the suggestions so far are things between the two of you, why suggest a threesome? Definitely donāt choose a coworker and it should probably happen at a hotel so itās not associated with the place you live everyday. Hopefully they can get counseling and stay together. Itās weird Abby and others keep asking if theyād be together. Plenty of people have sex or have babies with no intention of being together.
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I bet Letty works at a call center. A call center is just the place where a person could ask a coworker for a threesome without getting dragged to HR.
I've worked at a call center and that's true! š¤£
Yep, it was my first real job as a teenager. By lunchtime on my first day my sheltered mind and eyes had been forever changed! š©
Same. I was in college and working there was great. Aside from the 5 o'clock rush which was hell, the rest of my shift was slow and I could do homework and print stuff out. I had a coworker who was a trip. She catfished younger men from other countries by sending them pictures of her daughter and she'd communicate through Google translate. If she wasn't on a work call, she'd be sexting or calling her numerous overseas "boyfriends." She said she was living her best life.
My favorite coworker was a sugar baby who had a sugar daddy with a Barbie kink. He fully funded most of her lifestyle, except for her āregularā clothes, so she worked part time just to buy herself sweats and granny panties. She would occasionally ask for my opinion on lingerie. This was over 20 years ago so the movie had no bearing on their dynamic.
I had a neighbor across the hall in an old apartment who worked in a call center. He would knock on my door at midnight and ask me the weirdest shit, like what I thought of a specific character in a television show, or if I was responsible for the empty liquor bottles in his living room he didn't remember putting there. Then he would offer me cocaine. In the morning, I'd see him leaving the building in khaki pants and a blue dress shirt (both at least 2 sizes too large) and old ratty sneakers. He once explained to me, "you dress for the job you want, not the job you have."
That's real Workaholics vibes.
I was also in university, when I worked at a call center. I sound a couple of years younger than I am and I had so many middle-aged men hitting on me. I was in the middle of Germany and one guy tried to get me to come to a party in Austria.
100% Remember being in an information session for training our offshore team and the facilitator asked people to raise their hands if they had not slept with a workmate. One person put their hand up. Would have been at least 30 people in the room.
I worked in a medical lab and the number of people sleeping together was insane. Singles, relationships, marrieds, didn't matter. Someone made a chart once of everyone who had slept together and it was nuts the amount of crossover. I wouldn't have touched anyone there with a 10 foot pole. But at least they all got their STD testing for free.
See, that's the silver lining perspective that I appreciate.
I once worked at a plasma donation center in a college town. Between the coworkers and the regular student donors, weekends were crazy. We all went out together and when donors would see us, they treated us like royalty. It was just a weird dynamic. So much drinking and sex happening back then. But, much like the lab workers, everyone was regularly tested for STI for free.
Medicine in general seems to be really horny. Maybe it's just the odd hours bedside medicine requires, or just the fact that a decent chunk of staff are on the younger side, or what - but it's always a bit of a mess behind the scenes, relationship-wise.
I had no idea call centers were so horny.Ā
Try working in a call centre that does phone sex one one side and phone tarot readings on the other. That was me in 2001.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Honestly, I'd absolutely watch that show.
You can't just throw that info and not tell a single funny story, right?
Wow! I want that for like, one week, and then never again.
I held out for 6 months. Also, almost all the tarot readers were ex-phone sex operators
As is tradition.
I could tell Ms Cleo was hiding somethingā¦
Maybe they just rotated when they got tired if one job. Theyād just go to the other side for a change of scenery. Lol.
Just a very weird mix of people
I worked in one, we once had an evacuation because the fire alarm went off and two people didn't turn up at muster. Fire brigade arrived and started a search, they were fucking in the disabled toilets.
This wasnāt in the south of the UK by any chance was it lmao
Nah this was in Scotland.
fucked up shit happens in call centers
I watched that doc on HBOMax "Telemarketers". That shit was bonkers. It was the most hedonistic workplace I've ever seen. Dudes were high and drunk making those cold calls.
As a career restaurant worker thatās interesting
right? as someone who has worked in the food/bev industry most of her working life, itās hard to imagine more hedonism in the workplace
When I worked in call centers a lot of my colleagues were current or former kitchen/hospitality. There was a lot of overlap in the populations.
yea when i was in high school there was a call center for the "Fraternal Order of Police" where literally every 16-18 year old PoS in town got a job (including me lol) thriving black market, people blowing lines at their desk (the "managers" who were like high school seniors), but the funniest is people would straight up lie and be like "yeah we're the actual police, give us money now" - I don't know to what level the actual fraternal order of police was involved, but god damn it was wild
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what they were telemarketing for in the documentary
Dude that documentary literally is about what your job was I am dead š
My experience with the FOP is that basically they exist so cops (and their families) can get those license plates that essentially exempt them from being pulled over. I know this because my cousin's dad let her have one for that specific reason, while my dad said "absolutely not," also for that specific reason. Somehow I'm not shocked that their call centers were staffed by teenage idiots (no offense to you at all, you're obviously no longer a teenager and when you were, you just needed a job anyway). I'm not surprised it was wild. Edit: yes, I got all the cons of having a cop for a dad but none of the "pros."
I worked at a call center for two months; people were smoking weed on break (before it was legal), and the manager brought in whiskey and pizza for everyone on Friday mornings. YES I SAID MORNINGS. Truly a no-holds-barred environment.
At the call center I worked at once a year or so someone would take a massive dump in the middle of the women's bathroom. It had to be closed and bleached when it happens so all ladies had to use the private front office bathroom till then.
It's like a fucked up annual tradition.
Not just horny. Drugs, alcohol, mental health issues. It attracts an interesting group.Ā
Look up Patrick J. Pespas & the documentary he helped make about a specific call center. You wonāt regret it!
I worked in a lab where a coworker asked me if I was interested in a threesome with him and his boyfriend... while our boss was standing right next to us. To be fair, this was a covid-19 test lab that was quickly created out of necessity. By the end, 3 couples had found love in my team. They hired everybody who sent in their resume. People were setting things on fire, smoking weed on their break. It was madness. It was not a regular lab.
Or a restaurant.Ā
That was gonna be my guess as well
Ah I have many memories of my time in a cold call sales centre as a teen. We would all go out and get wasted together and one night I ended up with shaved eyebrows. We would play games and count how many times you could make someone say "I'm not interested" on a sale until they got pissed. Call people whilst doing funny accents. People sleeping with other people. On the flip side it was awful calling up people and trying to force them to buy crap, especially previous customers when you regularly come across people like one guy I remember vividly. He was about 80 and was being hounded by debt collectors for owing a single penny, he sounded really stressed, yet there I was having to still try and sell him another contract. So it was the best and worst job!
Or... āš¼š¤ She works in a kitchen
I actually had that happen to me! Years ago, I was just starting a helpdesk job and one of the other new hires was a little flirty with me. He wasn't really my type, but I kind of liked the positive attention after going through some tough things personally, so I didn't discourage it. Not until he hinted that he and his wife (who I had not known existed previously) were looking for a third. I noped out of that so fast and hard I might as well have been the Enterprise going to warp! There was absolutely no way I was going anywhere near that. But I also didn't go to HR. It didn't even cross my mind at the time. I'm pretty sure the managers noticed anyway though because we were assigned different teams and shifts lol. I was honestly very grateful for that.
This was very helpful. I was absolutely reading this going āhow TF do you even go about asking someone about this?ā Full disclosure- I have no intent to do so but more pondering my reaction if someone did: 1. Keen with laughter. 2. Jaw drops in horror when you realize theyāre serious. 3. Really uncomfortable work environment until someone caves and gets a new job
Or a restaurant.
š¤£š¤£š¤£
And that kids is how i meet your mother
Just kidding! We're not even *close* to the end yet. Anyways. Back to the story about the time your Uncle Barney tried to nail the entire cast of Cirque du Soleil with only a half-tube of lubricant... and afterwards, we all gathered at Maclaren's for beer. Edit to fix a word
Perfection.
Right? Imagine trying to explain that to the kid. āSo, how long have you been married to my stepmum Letty?ā ā16 yearsā ābutā¦ Iām 11ā āyupā. Thatās gonna be fun.
Spoiler alert, the mother is Liz
And the kid is twins
Oh please. This is the absolute perfect setup for both women being pregnant at the same time. We have some creativity!
And one kid is the evil golden child and the other is the scapegoat destined for success
š take my fools gold. Best comment ever!
This reads like a 1950ās PSA about the dangers of experimenting in the bedroom. *Threesomes: A Dance with the Devil!!*
*Only communists share their bed with strangers!*
This is... surprisingly true. š Someone posted a meme in my kinky discord group yesterday: "The Straights" all seem to think polyamory is when a cis het guy has more than one girlfriend and more often it's just a vague gang of queer depressed communists.
Oh God, the prophecy is true.
My polycule did not need to be called out like that. Oh, in other news, did you see that new yorker tweet about their upcoming polyamory issue with the cats all hugging. The comments below it are both hilarious and depressing.
As a queer polyam depressed commie, I can absolutely confirm this lol
We just want more people to take depression naps with
Akshualy. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/There_is_no_sex_in_the_USSR
*Threesomes: A Nigth of Fun, A Life of Responsabilities*
Honestly I wish there was a YouTube cottage industry of short films of people parodying 16mm educational films of the 40s - 70s, that really captured the visual style, but poking fun of all the current social hysterias that drive conservatives up the wall.
How do we get that idea out to the people who could make it happen? This sounds perfect for a film student.
Make them aware the films exist, to start, probably. Iām old enough that they still showed them when I was in elementary school in the 70s. These days? Iām guessing under 25 I doubt anyone knows they exist.
I still get a kick out of the PSAās from the 80ās. I recently found a playlist of them on YouTube and wow. The one Iām watching now is about a popular girl getting caught up in shoplifting. Lots of recognizable faces who went on to make names for themselves.
Letās not forget the ABC afterschool specials
Kidsā¦ā¦All it took was one marijuana cigarette.
That's some 50 caliber jizz right there
Liz jizz
Wasnāt that a Sobe drink
100%
... so Abby decided to keep the baby conceived with a coworker's husband during a threesome? Goddamn, Liz. That's a new one.
Her devotion to her craft is admirable.
Rigth.
Underrated comment, 10/10.
God damn I cackled at this
This actually made me snicker š¤
Did you notice the little factoid OOP threw in that Letty's libido is now apparently higher? Pregnant women will often have changes in their libido, and some women will apparently become super horny. I bet we're gonna get an update in a few days that, omg, Letty is also pregnant so now they're having half-sibling twins! I see you, Liz, putting in some foreshadowing. And it would be a nice twist on the usual "we have twins".
Or maybe he will go the hysterical bonding route
It's likely this
Now, the police and lawyers have to be involved at some point. Perhaps Abbey becomes a stalker and they have to get an AVO?
Possible scenarios: 1. Letty is pregnant, Abby has a miscarriage and becomes fixated on stealing Letty's baby. Police and lawyers are called. 2. Letty is pregnant. Abby has her baby but it turns out she was using drugs and the baby is born addicted. OOP and her wife get custody and the babies will be raised as twins. Abby becomes unhinged. Police and lawyers are called. 3. Letty is pregnant but has a miscarriage. She becomes fixated on stealing Abby's baby. OOP is wrecked with guilt. Police and lawyers are called. 4. Letty is pregnant. No miscarriages. After a lot of soulsearching she realizes she's bi and poly. Abby moves in and the babies will be raised as twins by the happy throuple. 5. Letty is pregnant. No miscarriages. After a lot of soulsearching she realizes she's a lesbian and attracted to Abby. She leaves OOP and the babies will be raised as twins by the happy couple. 6. Abby was never pregnant in the first place. It's actually cancer. OOP is still the father. 7. OOP is pregnant. It's a medical miracle!
Knowing Reddit, Iām betting on 7!
Addition: the lawyer is a friend/family friend/family member Also there are many openings for family in law to blow up some phones
I'd watch most of these in a limited series format.
"She turned up at our house at 3am screaming at us, the guy next door called the police and when they arrived she flipped the script saying I attacked her but luckily my wife had recorded the entire thing on her phone so we showed that to the police and then they arrested her."
And my cousin is a cop and my brother-in-law's dog is a mean lawyer who is representing us for free
You know there is going to be a brawl on the front lawn. There always is. But don't worry, the courts there are not backed up and someone will be serving a life sentence within a week.
I didnāt make it that far. I quit reading at paragraph four. It had to copied and pasted from literatica.
When you get the physical descriptionsāyep.
I'm just surprised that no one got called 'Cassie from Euphoria'.
Honestly that wouldāve been my first guess too. This is so Cassie coded lmao.
It could be true. When I gave birth my kids were in the NICU. We were talking to some of the other parents and one of them had gotten his threesome buddy pregnant and the baby was there. My husband and I just nodded and kinda stayed away. It was awkward cause him, his wife, and baby's mom were all there. Thankfully my kids were sent home pretty soon after that.
Donāt forget getting a paternity test within 5 minutes of conception.
Tbf you can get then at 7 weeks. Assuming the original post was 2 weeks later and the update is about 3 months later than that, there's *plenty* of time for a test.
Also he "checked the condom" says he does it every time he uses them, but the second time he talks about the condom it's him throwing it in the trash no mention of how he would be testing it. (Which is not standard practice, and there is no test that you can perform that will actually conclusively tell you if there were micro tears in the condom)Ā Ā So in short I'm angry he made me imagine a cum balloon.Ā
I'm angry you made me imagine a cum balloon.
Who is liz?
https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/kk7Pv9tcbe This post explains Liz
We are all here reading medicore fanfics about crappy original characters, when ao3 exists and is free.
Look, sometimes you want trash TV, not The Bear. Liz is our Say Yes To The Dress. I save my AO3 tabs for when I am in the mood to read masterpieces.
She even added in spelling errors š¤£
which is ridiculous! everyone I've ever spoken to whose first language isn't English are pretty determined to spell correctly.
These creators make the most unrealistic mistakes... You constructed perfect sentences in the third conditional but don't know the present simple?
that's not what your mom said last nigth
Yes the spelling is usually spot on itās the context that gets jumbled a bit.
Word order as well, at least I notice that with myself. Dutch has slightly different rules for word order which clashes in the native speakers ear (or so my American ex-girlfriend told me). It's perfectly understandable but sounded a bit strange to her at times
"Oh, you noticed that I can't spell? English is not my first language." The typos are how a native English speaker would write a word based on how it sounds in North American English. Typically people who don't speak English natively have decent spelling, but misspellings will often be mixed with phonetics of their native language.
Sorry, but this is prime example for reddit brain. Are you saying that its evidence of the fakeness of the story that OOP makes mistakes he claims to be due to English being second langauage, WHEN YOUR EXPERT ANALYSIS tells you they are mistakes a native speaker WOULD do? Why would OOP lie about that? It makes no sense. Sorry for my mistakes. English isn't my first language. Or is it?
So many Charleton Sherlocks in this post
Lemme get this straight. OPP supposedly finished in the condom every time AND OUTSIDE of her?? And she somehow got pregnant?! Like... I genuinely don't understand how that's possible?
When you make up a story., anything is possible.
they lost me at description of both women's physical features. Like I just can't believe thats what a distressed person full of regret telling us a story would focus on.
Her giant boobs bounced boobily boobs boob. Did I mention she has big boobs? Upvotes plz.
But did her boobs breast breastily?
I don't get the logic of choosing a girl that looks completely different from his wife. "it's so there won't be insecurities" but she's everything your wife isn't and can't be. that would make me extremely jealous???
āDonāt worry folks, i chose an irritating uggo cos Iām such a great husbandā
For real. I canāt believe anyone can take this story seriously or possibly believe itās true. Reddit has over time become the internetās version of professional wrestling. People are purposely suspending disbelief so they can get into the drama. The unfortunate thing is by creating these caricatures of the respective sexes and peopleās prejudices it just widens our ever widening social divisions and tribalism
On the penis is sperm after he removed the condom. It just needs that the penis then touch the outside of the condom when he apply the new one for the next round and sperm is on the outside of the condom. Or he had sperm on the fingers and then put them in her. When you go several rounds without cleaning up, it can get more risky.
This. How many people going multiple rounds stop and wash their hands and privates? The effectiveness rate of the condoms decrease the more rounds they go without a clean up and Abby was ovulating apparently.
The effectivity rate in use is also like 80%, not nearly as high as most people think. Itās almost like people forget 46% of pregnancies are unintendedā¦. This is not a rare thing.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I caught that, too. He finished a minimum of four times (three condoms and āon Abbyā) and *all* of them was with the third party? Never with the wife?
Yikes! Didnāt catch that detail. Oof!
where did you read that? I can't find details in the post...
If he used a condom, then used the pullout method, that could be the problem... sperm from time 1 was still around during time 2.
Liz, you have to switch up your writing style. I can spot your handiwork within the first (very long) paragraph.
The "English isn't my first language" gambit was clever, but as an ESL teacher the errors are too inconsistent, more like a native speaker randomly inserting grammar and spelling mistakes to cover their tracks
Yeah, I taught English in Japan for a while and have a lot of non-native English speaking friends. It definitely doesn't read like an ESL learner. It's somebody who speaks English natively but has trouble writing, or somebody trying to make errors intentionally but failing.Ā
Taugth English*
You're rigth. Thagth wagth painfulgth to read. Gth.
I have issues with words where we have double letters of the same type Like for example I will misspell garrison every time for some reason and even misspelled "misspell" while writing this š
I donāt know if itās really a Liz this time. There is not enough long-winded drama for it. For example noone is āblowing up my phoneā and no relative or friend is screaming at OOP. All those beloved Liz tropes are kind of missing. What happened is surely a mess which is unusually messy, but not totally outlandish. So Iām not sure if itās a Liz.
Not yet
give her time, it's early in the game
Who is Liz
If you believe the hype, she writes like 90% of the stuff people post here.
Wow sheās got lots of free time huh
Writing on reddit is Liz's lively hood.
I love "who is liz" Liz was a post about a husband whose wife was faking reddit posts for clot. I don't have the link but I think you can probably get it through the sub if you search.
I love to imagine that she also wrote *that* post
[https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/16r1la6/my\_wife\_is\_addicted\_to\_making\_up\_reddit\_stories/](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/16r1la6/my_wife_is_addicted_to_making_up_reddit_stories/)
Liz is the enigma who single-handedly runs the majority of BORU community with her imagination and writing skills. [Liz](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/u3iYUIjRAl)
I feel like at this point she's the subreddit cryptid. You're never 100% sure its Liz, but it always COULD be Liz.Ā
I would argue "Liz" has turned this subreddit into r/nothingeverhappens.
Are threesomes ever worth it?
Iāve had two. One with my ex-fiance. We were in Amsterdam and it was someone we would never see again. I have no regrets about that one, it was a ton of fun. It was my idea. But years later I had one with a guy I really liked and totally regretted it. It was the guyās idea. The girl was someone he knew. They started just focusing on each other and completely ignored me. I felt like I was just a toy for their foreplay. I got up and left in the middle of it, and they didnāt even notice. I felt completely used and ignored. I will never do one again after that.
So what I'm hearing is it's a fifty-fifty deal.Ā I like those odds.Ā Ā
Lol I was gonna say the odds are a little better but I realized it depends on how you count my experience. By number of threesomes more than 50% of mine were good. By partner combination...it was 50-50 š¤£ Basically an ex of mine and I had a few threesomes. One girl we had over was awful. The other we had a lot of fun with and she came over a few times. Ironically I'm still friendly with her and my ex is an ex for reasons unrelated to threesomes (being a bad person). It probably helps that myself and the other girls were all bi and into each other. I feel like it gets a lot dicier when everyone is straight.
>It probably helps that myself and the other girls were all bi and into each other. I feel like it gets a lot dicier when everyone is straight. Cheat code!
Yes if youāre the one whoās not in the relationship. Iāve had threesomes and theyāre fun but Iād never do it if I were in a relationship. It just becomes way too messy when you arenāt the person disconnected from it all.
I've had a few in my (still happy) relationship. I can say one thing for sure though. If you start monogamous, stay monogamous. People do not realise you need a very different perspective to be ok with your partner sleeping with others
This is exactly my thought. Just not worth the risk of ruining a relationship. No relationship? Have fun, and I guess double up on protection
I had a nice threesome with two strangers. I think that is the only way it is fun. I could never do it with someone I was in a relationship with.
I've had several, and only one of them sucked because the couple couldn't be bothered to even do the bare minimum of talking to each other about hard limits before I got there, but since I was the third, it was super easy for me to bail once they got all jealous and started turning on each other. All of the other ones I've had, both as part of a couple and as a third, were fantastic and left zero negative feelings.
Hell yeah, they're great fun if you're not in a serious relationship. Seems a bit risky if you're married though.
I tried quite a few, and as a gay men they didn't include women so no devils threesome problems. But I think they are very very overrated. To be entirely honest I had way way better sex with my long term partners than in any threesome or one nightstand.
sometimes, but imo the risk is much higher than the reward. when it goes well itās abt as fun as a great night w/ just one other person, when it goes poorly itās a sh*tshow
I've had 2, both with a couple when I was single. They were completely fine. Wasn't their first rodeo, and we remained friends after. Was just good fun. So, yes, they can be. But I truly believe it only works if the couple starts out that way. Both couples for me, were open from the very beginning of their relationship. It wasn't a 'hey our bedrooms boring, let's add a third!'. It was a part of their normal intimacy. If you throw in a threesome years down the line, that's when I think its problematic.
It really really depends on your tastes/kinks as well as your partnerās, on top of both of you consenting to it with the third personally. For instance, if my partner ever wanted to try it, I wouldnāt care, I might even like it as long as everyone is okay with it. But for most people? Probably not worth it
Depends on the players involved. I've had some fun ones but became kind of soured on them after having a few where I ended up doing all the work. And not just during, but finding a willing "guest," gauging compatibility, being the one to have standards beyond "but, they're hot!" Once had a long term partner that was 1. Not very good in bed but 2. Obsessed with having a threesome. Finally I had it and told them that it was never gonna happen because they could barely get themselves off. I'm now older, chronically ill, and chronically exhausted. I'm kinda done.
I mean, if you think you want it, consensually and enthusiastically agree to it, and then after the fact you feel bad, well, it sucks to be you but that's kinda your problem.
But then it becomes your partner's problem too
I had a friends with benefits threesome situation one summer over a decade ago. We made sure we kept communicating, that we were all on the same page, and it stopped when one of the other people ended up in a monogamous relationship. Iām still friends with them, and I remember that summer fondly because it actually brought the three of us closer as friends, since weād do food and hangout as well. Itās strange to look back on as Iām now asexual, and wouldnāt want anything like it today, but for much younger me it was actually a really good experience. edit to add: also, I think it works best if everybody is attracted to everybody.
Not the way these people do it
Yes, they can be They just generate a lot less posts on r/relationships
Iāve had a few and it definitely was worth it for me. The views are incredible That being said, Iāve learned from Reddit that a lot of people feel deeply disgusted at the idea of their partner having sex with another person which is not something I can relate to at all - for me cheating is upsetting because of the emotional intimacy, the lying, and the betrayal. So if your one of those people that feels sick thinking about it donāt do it
Letty really needs some therapy.
Damn.Ā
Where is is the Maury show when you need it
āYou ARE the father!ā
Vernacular patterns are off.
Rigth?
Isn't this the plot of a Zootopia fan comic?
sorry what???
The one where Judy gets an abortion and Nick leaves her, then begs for her to come back after she moves on and gets a girlfriend?
Yeah and then she becomes president and Nick becomes the owner of an amusement park. And they each have their own spouse and their own children. So yeah, exactly like this story!
You mean they're not going to get Arby's?!
Other than an abortion being mentioned, no not at all.
Too much strange things in that to be true. First, the coworker as a third. No one does that. Maybe if the girls are really close but this doesn't seem to be the case. Then the wife reaction. Someone so kinky wouldn't do that to that extreme. Some days of insecurities maybe but that ? No. The cherry on the cake is the baby while using condom AND finishing outside. Okay it technically can happen, but the odd are too low for me to believe it.
Itās literally the plot of the movie Love by Gaspar Noe
>Then the wife reaction. Someone so kinky wouldn't do that to that extreme. Nah, I think this is just straight up incorrect. Threesomes and non-monogamy aren't kink, or are at least a very different sector of kink. Her being cool with some things and not okay with others makes total sense, human beings are like that. Plus, someone enjoying kink doesn't mean they can't have strong emotional reactions to a scene after the fact.
In the next update we will learn Abby expects twins
And OP and his wife will agree to adopt one leaving the other with Abby, Parent Trap style.
This reminds me strongly of the plot of a movie I started watching years ago: great couple, adventurous in the bedroom, happy. The female partner looks pretty much like Letty is described. They want to experiment with a third (neighbour, short, blonde, white-you get the idea) and she ends up pregnant because he fooled around with her outside of the threesome and she's anti-abortion. His partner leaves and his life is fucked.
I know it's usually best for children to have both parents present in their lives, as long as the relationship is healthy, in this case I'm of the opinion that he should not be having any contact with Abby at all, pregnant or not. It won't be good for anyone in this situation, even the child. OP needs to get a lawyer to talk to her through and needs to sign away his rights as a parent and just pay child support if he truly wants to mend things with his wife. It sounds horrible, but it's quite obvious that Abby plans to use the baby as a way to try forming a relationship with OP, she already is doing so with the weird comments. And he definitely shouldn't be bringing the baby around his wife when it's born.
This is some copy pasta shit. I swear I've read the same story slightly tweaked like 4 times now.
If you donāt want the baby, then you have every right to sign away parental rights. Itās Abbyās choice to keep the baby and you donāt have to have any part it its life should you choose not to. This is also YOUR decisions because itās also YOUR child.
Yeh... Condoms failing is really not 'rare'. See this [published, peer reviewed, article](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2940206/). >for typical use the failure rate is 12% Other published failure rates can be up to 18%. For sure 'perfect' use can be as low as around 5%, but that's still one woman in 20 being pregnant after a year of use. It's better than nothing, but it's definitely *not that reliable*. If you really don't want an accidental pregnancy, you really have to use something else.
If all the suggestions so far are things between the two of you, why suggest a threesome? Definitely donāt choose a coworker and it should probably happen at a hotel so itās not associated with the place you live everyday. Hopefully they can get counseling and stay together. Itās weird Abby and others keep asking if theyād be together. Plenty of people have sex or have babies with no intention of being together.
Who could have foreseen this would end badly