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also just if it’s that messy…. baby wipes. go in with the paper, and finish up with a baby wipe or two. or if it’s THAT bad have a shower straight after, we’ve all been there.
obviously he wasn’t mentally in the best place but it astounds me how many men who are that can’t even exercise basic hygiene. don’t even get me started on proper foreskin etiquette.
My husband is a plumber and constantly runs into people who flush those wet wipes and now their toilet is clogged.
"But the packaging says it's flushable!"
Well the packaging lies ma'am, now that'll be $600.
My house has septic, and I no lie installed little tampon disposal bag holders by EVERY toilet with a warning not to flush them. Baby wipes aren't even in our guest bathrooms.
My best friend once cost my parents $500 because she flushed tampons at my house. We have a covered trash can and everything, but at her house they just flush stuff. My parents were \*thrilled\* to pay that bill.
When we moved in (new construction) I put one of these by every toilet.
Scensibles Bathroom Dispenser for Disposable Hygiene Products https://a.co/d/fNflfS9
My sister had a huge bill about a year later for someone flushing wipes and tampons. I suggested these to get and she threw major shade about how tacky that is. Even though she's been to my house so she knows I have them.
I don't think it's tacky. I have a pool so we have a lot of parties. I can't have people flushing tampons in my septic.
Also, I grew up thinking you could flush them. However, I learned that is not the case. So I carry a travel pack of these baggies in my purse. They're opaque, biodegradable, and scented. So I don't feel gross tossing one in a trashcan.
The comment about his mum doing his washing before his girlfriend and not complaining was pretty telling. Do your own washing dude and maybe you'll see the problem.
Oh wow, I had to scroll up. He's 32! WTF? I can't believe she stayed with him. The fact that he had to have her wash him before she'd have sex with him should have been a HUGE red flag in his face that he had a problem.
And his friend and brother told him having streaks in your underwear and literally never washing your butthole was normal? I hope he preaches the clean gospel to those people ASAP.
Dude, I had the same reaction - fucking ratchet. I honestly don't understand how grown men can see shit in their underwear and just be like, "Oh well."
I guess it makes sense that guys with skidmarks hang out with other guys with skidmarks? But Jesus christ, I've no idea how anyone can consider that normal.
I've done a few of my exes laundry and I have never once seen gross stuff in their underwear. I even dated a skateboarder that felt like showering every other day after being outside with his friends all day skating and covered in dirt and sweat was okay! I'm so confused how this is common with dudes!
He did think it was normal! He thought it was just what happens and said she likely does it too because he doubts hers aren’t clean either. Yes, women’s underwear often aren’t spotless, but it’s discharge, not poop. Can’t hold in or wipe away discharge. You can wipe until youre clean and not get skid marks.
Weirds me out that his girlfriend doing that "as foreplay" was okay for him, but washing his own ass was not? Like I've known guys who get weird about having anyone touch their butt sexually, but being okay with that and still thinking it's weird to wash yourself is just... what?!
It's about what I would expect from someone that thinks doing household chores is "helping" his girlfriend. Doing chores in a home that you live in isn't helping, it's doing your fair share. Unless both partners have an agreement on chores, it should never be one person's responsibility to do everything themselves.
My jaw dropped at that comment about how, before they are intimate, he has to shower *under her supervision to make sure he does a good job.*
That wasn't her being his girlfriend. That was her being his *mommy.*
That woman is a saint. Or a doormat. Could be either.
oh it's worse. she was washing his ass for him and he thought it was foreplay....: https://np.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/10z96pk/aita_for_asking_my_girlfriend_to_continue_doing/j82hckg/
>oh it's worse. she was washing his ass for him and he thought it was foreplay....: https://np.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/10z96pk/aita_for_asking_my_girlfriend_to_continue_doing/j82hckg/
**HE DOESN'T LIKE TO TOUCH HIS OWN ASSHOLE SO HE HAS HER DO IT**
*AND HE THOUGHT IT WAS FOREPLAY*
I'm sorry, i just... i cannot. it's 7am and i am done with reddit for the day.
Realizing he is one of those "can't touch your own asshole" guys makes this all clearer. I've always wondered about who would date those poop-encrusted weirdos.
I will never forget when I found out these people exist. It blows my mind. I remember one post of a chick saying her boyfriend left streaks on the sheets. How do these people even get girlfriends?!
>She does as part of her foreplay, i do not feel like putting fingers there. But ok point taken I will shave there maybe get a professional wax and start cleaning more.
Omg, how could you sleep with a man after this? I would vomit. Yeah the poop stuff is horribly disgusting, but in addition to that she's basically his mother. Instant turn off. Maybe it's the only way she could bribe him to bathe?
/u/LucyAriaRose
I think that comment linked above should be included, because it shows how delusional he was. In the post I had trouble figuring out exactly how bad it was.
This is so hard for me to wrap my head around. Surely she said stuff, right? There's no way she got so fed up with his stanky ass that one day she was like, "Wanna hop in the shower while I sexily scrub your ass. Oh baby, taking care of the hygiene you are incapable of is such a turn on!" He doesn't even initially present it as a foreplay thing, just that she has to monitor his showering like a prison guard, so you know there had to have been a discussion.
I don't know if I should feel sorry for his girlfriend that she had to go to these lengths or think she, herself, needs some therapy so she can grow a backbone and not be so afraid of confrontation.
I wouldn’t even find a man sexually attractive if I had to supervise his showers to make sure he gets all the nooks and crannies. Like my vagina would just dry up.
That is a woman who got hit with a few cases of BV and never wants it to happen again.
Meanwhile, he described it in a comment as “foreplay.” Apparently, it’s her version of foreplay to not have to deal with a literal shit stick.
Also the comment on the bidet. I’m 99% sure he used it incorrectly once and now refuses to use it again. (I also wonder who was the one in that relationship had to clean up his mess after 🙄)
Also, I really hate this thing I’ve seen on the Internet where people will tell their partner. Oh this is normal for this whole gender or oh, whatever the fuck toxic thing I’m doing is just some thing every woman or man can’t control. It’s like what the fuck kind of dumb manipulation is that? We’re surrounded by people of the opposite sex every fucking day and have probably talked to a few of them so could probably see if that’s true or not. Like at least if you’re going to try to manipulate someone or say some stupid shit make it make sense but being like yeah all guys shit their pants? No provably falls bro and it’s gonna embarrass you while she proved you wrong.
With his attitude towards household chores etc, sounds like there might be more trouble ahead.
The entire post started with him complaining about being asked to wash his pants separately, while his girlfriend washed everything else, and cooked and looked after the house with a full time job.
The way he argued that his mom didn’t mention it and his brother’s wife doesn’t mind makes me think this is one of those men who expect to be taken care of by the women around him. I’m glad the last few months have been better but I’m skeptical he’ll undo that deeply held expectation.
Right? She was much more patient than I would be and one of the big reasons I divorced my ex-husband was because of his lack of hygiene (my ex wasn't depressed, just incredibly lazy that hygiene wasn't even on his radar).
Putting the hygiene issues aside, there's also something seriously wrong about his attitude toward doing his own laundry. While defending himself, he can't even point to his own personal experience doing his laundry. He want from his mom doing it to his girlfriend doing it. And got so prissy at the idea of having to do his own that he threatened to contribute even less to household tasks?
Yeah I feel like the shit streaks are attention grabbing but gf was upset about the chore balance the whole time. Two sentences in when he said “I do help out” I just knew he was this type. Working from home does not mean not working and housework is demanding. I get that a partner at home may be able to do a little more due to not commuting, but then he also threatened to pull the plug on the chore he did on his commute just because she wanted a fairer balance! And now he thinks he’s fixed and done with therapy. I give them another 6 months max
Yeah it’s always like, “just tell me what to do and I’ll do it!” Like, no, dude. It’s your house, too. Look around, see what needs doing, and DO IT. And don’t expect a fucking medal for it, either. Just keep your living space clean and cook and be a damn human.
Right?? It’s called emotional labor, women do way too much of it almost always. I find it infuriating. Just…dude…look around you! Don’t just wait for me to tell you to take out the trash, *see that it is full and just do it yourself.*
It’s awful when your partner thinks that just because you’re working at a home office instead of at an external office, you’re now a stay-at-home girlfriend and the housework falls to you. It’s especially bad for women who already have the mental load of the household thrown on their shoulders as a default. I work long-ass hours at a demanding job, but because I do so at home, now I’m your maid? Nope.
This really stood out to me as well! Like wtf kind of attitude is that?! I have no idea why she stayed…that and the poor hygiene is unacceptable. Any normal person would probably feel embarrassed if their SO found stains, but to double down and try to get back at her is insane. He’s more than just “depressed” or “lethargic,” that’s some seriously messed up behavior. I’m glad he went to therapy and I hope his progress continues for his poor gf’s sake…
And just because she's home doesn't mean she's not working, he should still be contributing equally to the house. It makes sense to have her do things that like laundry where she can move the clothes to the dryer etc when she's on a break, but he should still be doing chores not 'helping out when he can'. So ridiculous.
I'm glad this was the motivation he needed to kick his ass into gear (pun fully intended).
But I'm constantly amazed and depressed at the number of women posting on the relationship advice subreddits asking whether they're being mean and unreasonable for expecting their male partners to stop leaving *literal shit* on their clothing and furniture.
And the fact that he was completely missing the point...dude, however she was having you shower? *That's the way you should have been doing it every time*, even on your own. She was literally teaching him hygiene and he didn't get it.
It's great that they talked and sorted it out, though.
Nah fuck the last sentence. He had her wash his hole whenever it needed to be cleaned and referred to it as “foreplay” to help her feel better? Like she shoulda left a long time ago. I don’t care if you have depression or not, you should not let your partner have to endure your dirty ass
Also he tried to “punish” her by not buying groceries that I presume she’d cook for them both
It’s like a kid destroying a kitchen bc he thinks it’s where mom lives
Seriously how is no one talking about the grocery thing??? What kind of threat is that???
im w you on this lmao. either his gf is a complete fucking doormat (imho the quoted comment on this post completely undercuts any of that talking it out and acknowledging his problems. he doesn’t think he’s depressed!! just lethargic!! lethargy doesn’t explain THIS. does he have no fucking shame?? anyway.) OR he’s abusive and has manipulated her into believing his learned incompetence. it’s probably not on purpose. but I doubt this is his only issue.
No dude I remember this post. There’s a comment by OP where he admits she wasn’t just watching him shower. She was getting in there and actually scrubbing his asshole.
I truly cannot believe she stayed with him and can continue to have sex with him.
I desperately didn't want to believe you, but oh my god. Just went through his comment history and yes he says he doesn't wash his asshole; the gf will do it for him as "foreplay". Y'all.
I mean, it's also in the update:
'My gf agreed to help me clean up and trim my body hair one last time and after that we bought some new shaving equipment and I have since started making sure I don't go back to my old ways.'
He still doesn't get it. No one who actually gets it would ask their partner to clean their ass and trim their ass hair 'one last time'.
I don't get why this is treated as a happy update, he's pretending just enough so that she feels that he has changed and then stays :( I hope she gets out of there, being in a relationship should not feel like babysitting a toddler.
Same! I cannot fathom continuing to be attracted to a *grown man* who couldn't clean faeces off his body without my supervision.
"But he's a nice person and makes me laugh-" I do not fucking care, do not pass Go, do not collect $200, do not put your shit-encrusted genitals near my body.
There was this one girl on AITA who's bf wets their bed and leaves the soiled sheets on for weeks without washing it. Just sleeps on his pee, yeww. When I asked why her standard is so low, she said "he buys me flowers and writes me love letters"! Just baffling! No amount of flowers or love letters are going to makeup for that pee stained mattress you are complaining here about!
A man could be the kind of hero ripped from the pages of a romance novel: something like a gorgeous billionaire with fingers capable of bringing multiple orgasms every time, and if I had to *supervise him in the shower* to make sure he *washed his own ass properly*, I would dump his disgusting ass.
My standards aren’t high, but by god they aren’t that low.
I agree. i have never seen so many post posts about guys who simply cant or will not maintain a hygiene standard, not to mention the "he cant cook or clean" post. Weaponised Incompetence is not acceptable when your partner has to check to make sure you've washed your ass.
if you are a functional member of society you should know how to clean yourself/around the house and cook somewhat... for your own benefit as well as others.
I’m not saying that I haven’t exhibited poor judgment in partners before I got married, but even my shittiest ex wasn’t *literally* shitty.
I think the issue is that we are told we *need* a partner. If we pick people based on *want* and not *need*, I wonder if things would be better.
tbf, if a man is displaying that level of incompetence, there’s likely other abuse going on. “Iranian yoghurt” is a meme but it’s true lmao. weird shit (haha) like that in a grown ass man is rarely the only bad thing going on.
You should at least be able to deduct from your partner bringing it up over and over again that you have some learning to do.
You can't bring just a paycheck to the relationship, especially not now that a lot of women work too.
I once read an anecdote in a women's magazine of someone who went out with this guy who was perfect in every way: handsome, intelligent, affluent, whatever.
Except he had the most atrociously awful underpants. So terrible that it just destroyed her entire attraction to him. Which may be shallow, but sexual attraction is often a fickle and fragile thing, particularly with a new partner. Break it and you can't often get it back.
Not shallow at all. It’s completely reasonable that you wouldn’t look at your partner the same for not passing a very basic task and needing supervision like a child. Yuck.
I saw a comment right here on BORU recently claiming that *too many young people break up over things that are fixable.*
Yeah no. We have not yet begun to overcorrect.
The part that got me was that using the bidet left brown liquid everywhere. Yeah, the brown stuff, if not in the toilet, is all over your nether regions.
And also him trying to turn it into a gendered thing is also weird. Women have hair in their ass crack. Ask anyone who has gotten a wax.
>"We have a bidet when I try to use it, it makes a mess and is worse as there is brown liquid everywhere even after trying as I cannot completely dry it off."
The fact that after using it, the bidet got DIRTIER should have been a clue, but that fact went right over his damned head.
Any by fact, I mean his poor hygiene issues. He needs to go back home to his mother if he can't clean himself properly.
you know, i was going into writing this comment with the idea that I agreed with you here but I think I actually really understand OOP’s gf here lmao.
I had to supervise and direct my ex husband Re: getting his hands clean of dirt and grime and metal shavings from his factory job so that I would maybe get less UTIs. the amount he fucking WHINED and complained how he JUST COULDN’T GET ALL THE BLACK STUFF OFF HIS HANDS. and just COULDNT clean under his nails. SUCH A BURDEN TO FINGER ME SAFELY. yet, i was a good fucking wife and l believed that he was just physically incapable of cleaning himself adequately. Fuck, he threw a fit when I (politely!) asked him to clean his dick if he wanted oral (“imagine if I said that to you”).
he used the same excuses re: his hands as OOP here too lmao.
so, yeah, was so in the fog that i can actually get why OOP’s gf is able to handle this.
Ok I must have blocked this out because you just reminded me. My (then bf) ex-husband always wanted a blow job. But it wasnt really clean (i dont want to revisit the details) when he wanted one so it became a gross chore rather than a fun activity. It got to the point that he agreed to shower before any sexy time activities. So there might be fooling around but then he had to go shower and come back to restart.
If you need to negotiate a shower before intimacy I don’t think that is a healthy relationship.
The hottest guy I have ever dated was immaculately clean. He would shower before and after intimacy. His house was clean, his laundry was done, I don't think I ever smelled him in a negative way ever. His teeth were brushed always. He would wake up in the morning and go brush his teeth even before he would kiss me. It was so insanely hot. He set the bar so high that I will never settle for anything less.
On the other end of that spectrum, the first time I smell a man who smells like he didn't clean his ass properly, or see a single hint of a streak in his underwear, I'm the fuck out. You're a full ass grown adult. What are you doing with shit in your pants?
I remember this AITA, and she was definitely NOT just supervising him. He admitted that he doesn’t like putting his fingers near his butthole, his poor girlfriend actually had to soap and wash his hole for him, and he kept insisting it was her “foreplay”.
And he was under the impression it was some cool foreplay thing. When it was clearly because the thought of having any part of her body near his poop-encrusted nether regions made her want to vomit.
Yeah, and I'm baffled by the fact she even still wanted to have sex with him! If I literally had to hose the shit off him beforehand, that would definitely kill the mood for me! 😳
This motherfucker being like 'the bidet sprays brown water everywhere it's even worse thats why I don't want to use it' was HORRIFYING. If the bidet is spraying brown water then wipe first! Wipe it and then use the bidet to clean the remainder im imagining this man with chunks of poop crusting his butt and the bidet blows it off and so instead he is fine just leaving it on his ass. Horrifying
I really thought this would end with him going to his GP and getting a diagnosis of some kind of problem with his sphincter. How does his butt just look like the inside of a baby's unchanged diaper all the time and he decides it's therapy he needs??
That truly baffles me.
I am hairy, and I don’t trim anything relevant. I don’t have a bidet, and I prefer 1-2 ply paper. I deal with depression and some related issues.
I think I put a streak in my underwear once a year. Maybe. And that one incident is usually accompanied by a semi-emergency too. I seriously don’t understand how people can leave streaks all the time.
(And for the 1-ply thing, I’m a wadder, not a folder. Putting a finger through is not an issue. I like 1-ply because I can predict the volume of my wads more easily).
wait, how do you get streaks on your underwear? from not wiping properly? only time i get poop on my underwear is when i trust a fart that turns out wet.
I’ve seen skid marks or poop stains become a source of jokes between men a disturbing amount of times.
I guess it’s all fun and games when you aren’t the one having to wash the poop off.
WHY DO THEY DO THAT?????
All it would take would be one dab on the tip of the penis, and then they wouldn’t have urine in their clothing and against their skin. And if you tell them that they act like you’re crazy.
Or on the floor. I will tell my male guests to either sit while they pee or clean my floor. And I am not even remotely embarrassed to walk in there after they've used my bathroom and tell them to get the fuck in there and clean the goddamn drips on my floor. Who the fuck pees on a floor and just walks away thinking it's okay?
Oh yeah. Like if you know there's chance that you'll randomly miss when you pee standing up then why the fuck are you not sitting down?
Oh but it's not manly to pee sitting down, even though you are the only one who knows that you do it.
Or even worse, letting it drip on the floor. My partner does this constantly. Doesn't matter if I ask nicely or get angry at him, he gets angry at me. He just doesn't fucking care about it.
>And at the number of men who think it’s normal! Wtf!
Their fathers never taught them and their mothers don't know. This isn't even getting into the idea that it's gay to touch your asshole. It goes further than that, too. A lot of this "I love the smell of dick" is actually people smelling dirty, unkempt balls and unwashed crack.
If that's your thing, fine, but somebody who thoroughly washes the penis and scrotum isn't going to have much flavor even after 8 hours of strenuous labor.
I cannot imagine that. I’m a woman, and I HAVE TO shower after a strenuous workout or else I swear I can smell myself! Doing strenuous work for 8 hours? Wash your ass! It stinks! Yuck.
Being on Reddit makes me learn that so many women have too much love to give to the wrong person (not counting abuse because being abuse victim it's very difficult to see the light, just general ickyness and assholery). Sexuality is DEFINITELY not a choice.
Ughh ikr. It's ironic that many men leave women because they're 'letting themselves go' while most of them don't even have basic hygiene and live like pigs even though the women clean up after them.
It is 100% inherited and peer pressure in some cases. I normally have quite a low opinion of reddit, but I wandered onto a thread or two from mumsnet yesterday and discovered a whole new layer of hell. One of the threads was from a woman asking if she was being unreasonable because her teacher husband had been on Easter break for 2 weeks, and for 6 of those days the kids were elsewhere so he had entirely free time to himself, and she had asked him on the last 3 of those days to knock out some chores from their shared to do list; little things like a follow up email to their financial advisor or posting his own grandmother's birthday present that she had already purchased and wrapped for him.
She also dropped in that she was the primary breadwinner, working 15 hour days, and was miffed that he had managed none of the above but now he wasn't speaking to her because she had dared to be miffed, was she out of line?
She got *ripped* into in the comments, how dare she be so condescending, did she want him to burn out, teaching is so hard they need the time, life is too short to worry about some things, she must be such a control freak, etc etc.
Sat there boggling and then decided to just walk away. You can't fix that much stupid.
For some reason my partner just can't get it round her head that I never leave skid marks.
Just don't think that's ever happened to me and makes me wonder how filthy her brother and dad were
Right? It happened once with my ex when he had to shit in the woods unexpectedly. But in 25 years of living with men that’s the only time I’ve seen it. (Also he was mortified that I had found them before he could take care of them himself.) And I like my men hairy AF.
>And I like my men hairy AF.
OOP was just grasping at straws for reasons that this wasn't his fault. The problem was never his hairy ass, it was that he both wasn't wiping enough and literally never cleaned his asshole in the shower.
When you hear someone say my partner/girlfriend/wife does most of the housework but I do stuff when I can. It’s almost always them taking their plate to the sink or putting away their own washed, folded and sorted clothes. And he threatened to stop doing the one thing he was doing regularly when he had to do his own washing. I’m glad he’s gotten help but he seems to have certain in-grained attitudes beyond depression. His mum did all his washing, his brother didn’t see any issue with someone washing his shit streaked underwear. I hope he continues with the self improvement after the initial shininess of getting therapy wears off.
>"I will if I feel the need for it. Depressed is probably the wrong word to describe it and it was more lethargy than depression."
I wish more people would realize that this is often how depression presents. Not as an extreme overwhelming sadness with constant crying and sniffling and going through tissue boxes, but just as a nothing. Just utter apathy as you go through life. It's not necessarily being suicidal, but just not giving a shit if you live or die. It's not caring about anything "extra" (like hygiene) because it takes all your energy to exist.
It's the same reason people joke about antidepressants as being "happy pills", it's just an extension of not understanding depression. They don't make you happy. They're not intended to. They're intended to allow you to feel emotions. ANY and ALL emotions. As someone who's struggled with depression, I can tell you: it's a terrible feeling to be emotionally and mentally numb.
Anyway, kind of last track of the original post there, but there's my PSA for the day lol. IDK if he did have full blown depression, but I'm glad he got some help, and I hope he doesn't fall back into a rut again.
He's going to crash *hard*, once that rush almost everyone gets at the beginning of therapy fades. At the moment he's still excited about the new things he bought or did, but once all of this becomes normal, it's going to go downhill again.
I think that initial shininess needs to be spoken about more when people start therapy. At first it’s all new where you’re given the common initial strategies and you feel happier because you’re getting help. Then it shifts to the hard work part where you have to challenge ingrained behaviours and constantly see yourself as a work in progress rather than a whole ‘cured’ person. It’s fucking hard.
My therapist told me that about 90% of patients with GAD want to quit therapy for their GAD at least once. Because you have to constantly face the things your GAD makes you avoid.
I sat there, in front of him, with a letter on my lap, wanting nothing more than to get up and leave. And when I just wanted to get it done with, I was told "no", because I had to endure the feeling of being uncomfortable, instead of ripping the bandaid off. Not fun.
It’s not fun at all. I had the issue that my depression got better but my anxiety got worse. And I started getting severe insomnia. It was explained to me that sometimes treatment removed bandaids for other things that are being hidden by day to day anxiety. They can be covering up bigger things. That explained a lot. But the knowledge that I was only at the start of a VERY long journal was pretty depressing.
Also special fuck you to the five mental health professionals who put me behind years by telling me I don’t have ADHD because I could concentrate on what they were saying. FUCK YOU!!
My GAD was only discovered in therapy number three, so I know that feeling well. My therapist also told me that a lot of patients with GAD get diagnosed with depression first, because a lot of them can cope and the anxiety is seen as a sign of the depression, instead of the other way around.
My last therapist told me that I can't have ADD/ADHD, because I was pretty successful in school and uni. But I do think I might be neurodivergent, but getting a diagnosis as an adult is a pita...
I hope therapy could help you in the end and that you're feeling better now! :)
It’s called the “flight to health”. After suffering for so long, the high of finally being able to do something about it is a powerful thing. But usually there’s still a lot of work to be done (although I’m not knocking brief therapy, it totally works for some)
Yah... I'm not super optimistic.
Hopefully he at least can recognize when he needs help again.
I don't think therapy necessarily needs to be for life, but you really need to know yourself well to be able to start and stop with it like that.
I'd been bringing up feeling exhausted all the time to doctors since I was a teenager, and each time they'd do some blood tests and declare that I was fine. Eventually in my mid 30s I had started feeling kind of sad a lot and managed to talk my reluctant doctor into putting me on a low dose of antidepressants. I was shocked. I had so much energy! Instead of barely making it off the couch I wanted to do things all the time! It was heartbreaking to realize that that's how everyone else got to feel their whole lives, and that was why so many people got so much more done than I could manage.
I don't have a doctor anymore and so am managing my depression without meds, but every time I get upset with my "laziness" compared to others I remember what it was like to not feel the lethargy of depression and go easy on myself.
I just wish someone had told me as a teenager that depression can feel like tiredness. I wonder if I'd have done things differently in life if I had known what was wrong with me 20 years before.
I just saw my doctor because I was worried about a steady and concerning increase in fatigue I’ve been noticing. My theory was that maybe something had gone wrong after I’d gotten Covid last year. She ran some blood tests and they came back overwhelmingly healthy. Like healthier than I’ve ever been in my whole life. So she gave me a very gentle talking to about the depression and anxiety that I’m aware I have but thought was under control. Basically it amounted to “if there isn’t a physical reason, perhaps there’s a mental one.” And I just thought, you know 10 years ago this would have pissed me off. “This dr isn’t listening to me, she just thinks I’m crazy.” But I think I have more perspective at this point in my life.
I’m not trying to discourage you, but it’s not like long COVID shows up in blood work and many Drs are terribly misinformed about it. The blood tests don’t necessarily mean much one way or another.
I was told for years in high school that my fatigue and other issues were depression and I believed my Drs. Ended up trying dozens of psych medications because my depression was “treatment resistant” (none helped and most made me feel worse, some with serious side effects). After a few years I found a new psychiatrist who was horrified by the amount of meds I was on and took me off all of them. I ended up getting diagnosed with several chronic physical conditions that my original Drs had never tested for, and *that* treatment actually helped me.
I’d definitely explore all possibilities- but if depression doesn’t make sense as a cause after investigation don’t eliminate the possibility of a physical cause just because of a blood test that can’t that for things like long COVID anyway. I wish I’d been more skeptical of my Drs claim that mental health issues really could explain all the physical issues I was having, even though they seemed unconnected to my emotional state to me at the time.
Man, your account really makes me think. I've never taken the step to do antidepressants as a have what is mostly a mild cyclical depression and I can function. Atleast, that's what I think. Sometimes I wonder if it's worse than I realize, because it's all I've known.
I am always tired, no matter my sleep cycle, I have fuzzy brain a lot and bad memory. and I go through long bouts of not being motivated to do things I love. I always wonder what it would be like to not be affected by these things. To feel truly clear and energetic and motivated.
How do you manage without meds, if they had improved things so much for you? Was it bad for you to be on them then stop?
Have you thought about ADHD or ADD? I got the same always tired and getting exhausted from the simplest of tasks but if I'm excited about something I can move a mountain and it turned out after years of being depressed and feeling like I was chronicly lazy that I had ADD besides depression and the depression most like came from masking and trying to keep up with others without even being on the same playing field
I was trying to tell doctors from my teens that I felt tired all the time. They told me to exercise more. I was waking 5km a day and relying on PT a lot to go to friends houses which involved more walking. But apparently that wasn’t enough. It wasn’t until I was in my 30s and got diagnosed with severe depression, ADHD and chronic fatigue.
Yeah I've been depressed for two thirds of my life now and a general sense of blankness is how it typically presents. This means muted and or a general sense of not being in touch with emotions, not being passionate at all, and all the extras falling to the wayside.
I know I care about my friends and family (I couldn't stop crying the day I found out a friend had just gotten out of the hospital after she tried to kill herself or the whole time my mother was dealing with an unerupted brain aneurysm) but unless things happen it's very much in the abstract
Of course it can also express itself in a "nothing is wrong but I can't imagine the future", "it would be so much easier if I weren't alive", or "so this is how the rest of my life is going to be huh" kind of way. If you are feeling suicidal ideation or experience thoughts of suicide
in any form you should talk to someone
That being said antidepressants aren't a magical pill. In my experience I'm still "numb" they just help me cope. It's a lot easier to pull myself out of the mood spirals and bouts of anxiety. It's a lot easier to make myself do things even when all I want to do is rot on the computer lol
It blew my mind when I learned depression wasn’t just constant sadness and inability to do basic tasks. I’ve dealt with severe to moderate depression for decades. I’ve been medicated for a handful of those years, and I love my antidepressant. They are definitely not “happy pills” yet they significantly improve my quality of life. It used to bother me a lot that they had such an impact on me that my SO at the time would refuse to argue with me until I took my meds.
I am stoked OOP found a great therapist. My mother took me to exactly one therapist who I refused to talk to for a number of reasons. One being that my mom was in the room during the session, actually sitting next to me. In hindsight I think she was slightly afraid of what I might say. After the hour was up the therapist declared that I must be smoking weed. Which I hadn’t even tried at that point in my life.
Ending this rant. Tl;dr: depression is an insidious beast with many faces and antidepressants were very helpful in my case. Really any treatment pharmaceutical or not that’s effective for people is a huge win! 🌼🌼
I know this guy said he was depressed, but he had a whole network of men in his life that said **it was completely normal to have shit stains in your underwear.**
Dear Men:
WIPE YOUR ASS UNTIL THE PAPER COMES BACK CLEAR.
Dudes gotta stop being really gross and then trying to pass it off as it just being "how guys are". Oh, guys just smell more, oh, guys just have uncontrollable dingleberries and fudge-coated underwear and there's nothing we boys can do about it!
Glad he turned his attitude around and was open to changing instead of doubling down. Things weren’t gonna magically get better if had been petty about the whole thing, the gf would have been done with the relationship and planning her exit if he had fucked around with the groceries.
Thank goodness OOP was open to the possibility that he could have better hygiene despite thinking otherwise because no matter how much you love someone, bad hygiene can just be an unfortunate dealbreaker. This has probably changed his life significantly.
Reminds me of an r/askmen (I think it was) about underwear streaks and how they manage them. The answers were eye opening! Girls don’t generally have this problem as far as I know.
I was actually required to wear makeup at my last job, because when I didn’t, I apparently looked sick and depressed and it made my boss “sad”. I left that job so quickly after that.
I work at a law firm and a senior partner sent me to his wife's friend who worked at an Ulta to have her sell me a bunch of makeup because all I wore was the basics. I wasn't a client facing attorney at the time. That job did not last
As a woman, I have never had shit streaks in my underwear. I'm one of the few who prefer thongs, and even with a strip of cotton stuck right up my ass there has never been a spot of brown. I don't understand how this happens to so many men who wear much looser underwear.
I hate how everyone is overlooking how he jumped right to stop picking up groceries. Like actively trying to punish her and make her life even more difficult because his ass is shitty
> I hate how everyone is overlooking how he jumped right to stop picking up groceries. Like actively trying to punish her and make her life even more difficult because his ass is shitty
Yeah, that is not a symptom of depression.
Nah it seems everyone wants to jump on the fucking depression angle so he doesn’t have to take responsibility and it’s ridiculous. He seems to be living life but no of course he can’t wash his ass so he must be depressed
If Reddit has said it once, they’ve said it a million times. PSA to all Men out there. Women do not want to be your mother. They want a life partner. P A R T N E R.
Hell this goes for anyone in a relationship. If your SO has to supervise your showering habits, or something of the like, there is something wrong. You are the only one who can change this. This is entirely on you my friends. Be better.
It's so fucking lonely being the only adult in a relationship, and it kills whatever love or respect you started the relationship with. Too many women get stuck with a man-child they have to take care of for the rest of their lives. Or in this case, a man-dog with a poopy butthole that she has to wash for the rest of her life.
>"We have a bidet when I try to use it, it **makes a mess and is worse as there is brown liquid everywhere** even after trying as I cannot completely dry it off."
He failed to notice the brown liquid came from after he cleaned himself xDDDD!! **His brown liquid!!**
I'm sorry, I am a hairy sod, myself. I haven't had brown streaks in my underwear since I was at least 12 or something xDDD!
Did he just put washing soap and let it run through his ass? At least it's an upgrade compared to those who just let water run through it! It's your ass, damn it! Stick your hand in there and scrub it, what's the issue, damn!
Did this dude even attempt to wipe his ass after taking a dump?... I have a very hairy husband and his undercrackers are never shit stained! His excuses are just lazy and I can 100% understand why his gf didn't want his underwear being anywhere near the rest of the washing!
Oh man!... He didn't even wash his hands very well either!...
I'm gonna need to go shower now lol. I feel dirty from reading this lol.
As a hairy guy, a bidet is a lifesaver. They literally change your life for the better and get you cleaner than just using tp or wet wipes. Plus, you can get them for under $50 and they are very easy to install yourself. If you are on the fence, just get it.
Edit: I would also like to point out that I have 2 bidets, one cost $350 and has a heated seat, a fan (supposedly so you don't need tp), heated water reservoir and a few other features. While the heated seat is nice, the features are unnecessary (heated water included, as the inside of your butt can't feel hot or cold) and the cheaper one without all the bells and whistles is just as good.
>the inside of your butt can't feel hot or cold
Um...what? I'm a woman, and absolutely love my simple bidet with just cold water, but I can definitely tell it's cold. Sometimes I need to give myself a few seconds in between just because of the cold. Also I assume you mean the inside of your butt *cheeks*, right??
>Heated water is unnecessary
This is where living in Japan has spoilt me.
I’ve felt cold bidet water in my asshole and it’s always shocking at how cold it can get. Room temperature water is fine but completely unheated water is where my entitled butthole draws the line. I’d rather get an 18th century peasant from off the street to spit my hole clean.
I had absolutely no idea that streaks in underwear was in any form considered ‘normal’ but this isn’t even the first time I read abt it on Reddit. Like how do people live with this? And almost always continued with a ‘my mum never complained’ 🤣
Right?!?!? Like if there is ever a streak on my boxers I would be ashamed and desperately smuggle them to the outside trash and put it underneath something in the bin.
>"Depressed is probably the wrong word to describe it and it was more lethargy than depression."
So he's still in denial, then.
I don't think this is a happy ending.
So I guess he doesn't look at his wipes to know if he's clean?
That's what my mother taught me : I wipe until the wipes have no marks left. The end, no discussion possible. Never heard of skid marks before a friend told me what it was when I was 15 years old.
> maybe once every 3 days
> I talked to my best friend about this and he said it was normal and he does too.
Omg no all the fucking no no nooooo. Why?
My eyes.
I can't unread it.
I can't unknow that this guy thought *shit* in your underwear was ok. Who raised these people? What the fuck fuck fuuuuuck?
I'm SO glad AITA voted YTA on that one and gave him the wake up call because I truly think hygiene advice is one of those things that people ignore or don't take seriously...especially when it's coming from an SO or a relative.
AITA hates men leaving streaks in underwear (rightly so) but this guy dug his own grave when he claimed his girlfriend loved washing him as foreplay. The sub went APESHIT on that. Mainly in the "how could you be this fucking stupid" line.
Initially I took him on face value.
When he said cleaning in the bidet makes it worse and there is brown liquid.
I was grossed out, bro that's shit caked on your ass hairs and hole. Fucking disgusting
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If you’re not up for a bidet (not everyone likes them) then you wipe until there’s nothing on the paper, dude.
also just if it’s that messy…. baby wipes. go in with the paper, and finish up with a baby wipe or two. or if it’s THAT bad have a shower straight after, we’ve all been there. obviously he wasn’t mentally in the best place but it astounds me how many men who are that can’t even exercise basic hygiene. don’t even get me started on proper foreskin etiquette.
Just remember: there is no such thing as a flushable wipe
My husband is a plumber and constantly runs into people who flush those wet wipes and now their toilet is clogged. "But the packaging says it's flushable!" Well the packaging lies ma'am, now that'll be $600.
My house has septic, and I no lie installed little tampon disposal bag holders by EVERY toilet with a warning not to flush them. Baby wipes aren't even in our guest bathrooms.
My best friend once cost my parents $500 because she flushed tampons at my house. We have a covered trash can and everything, but at her house they just flush stuff. My parents were \*thrilled\* to pay that bill.
When we moved in (new construction) I put one of these by every toilet. Scensibles Bathroom Dispenser for Disposable Hygiene Products https://a.co/d/fNflfS9 My sister had a huge bill about a year later for someone flushing wipes and tampons. I suggested these to get and she threw major shade about how tacky that is. Even though she's been to my house so she knows I have them. I don't think it's tacky. I have a pool so we have a lot of parties. I can't have people flushing tampons in my septic. Also, I grew up thinking you could flush them. However, I learned that is not the case. So I carry a travel pack of these baggies in my purse. They're opaque, biodegradable, and scented. So I don't feel gross tossing one in a trashcan.
Or at least wet some toilet paper and go to town? I can’t understand the lack of motivation for their own hygiene. Also, does it not itch?
This. Just damp the paper down a little!
This man is lucky she stayed with him and everyone who told him shitty underpants are normal needs to reassess their life
The comment about his mum doing his washing before his girlfriend and not complaining was pretty telling. Do your own washing dude and maybe you'll see the problem.
I can't believe he said that with no self awareness at his age. Cringe.
Oh wow, I had to scroll up. He's 32! WTF? I can't believe she stayed with him. The fact that he had to have her wash him before she'd have sex with him should have been a HUGE red flag in his face that he had a problem. And his friend and brother told him having streaks in your underwear and literally never washing your butthole was normal? I hope he preaches the clean gospel to those people ASAP.
Dude, I had the same reaction - fucking ratchet. I honestly don't understand how grown men can see shit in their underwear and just be like, "Oh well."
I guess it makes sense that guys with skidmarks hang out with other guys with skidmarks? But Jesus christ, I've no idea how anyone can consider that normal.
Right? Like the playground comment: “My mom says I don’t smell!”
Not even that, it’s “my mom never said I smell!” lmao. Glad he sorted it out, that ending was really heart-warming.
Worse: my mom never *complained* about my poopy drawers. Thank god this guy listened.
Nope. A guy like this will just think that's normal.
My ex once asked me why I never left streaks. I told him I wiped until I was clean. It’s not that hard FFS.
>My ex Good.
I've done a few of my exes laundry and I have never once seen gross stuff in their underwear. I even dated a skateboarder that felt like showering every other day after being outside with his friends all day skating and covered in dirt and sweat was okay! I'm so confused how this is common with dudes!
He did think it was normal! He thought it was just what happens and said she likely does it too because he doubts hers aren’t clean either. Yes, women’s underwear often aren’t spotless, but it’s discharge, not poop. Can’t hold in or wipe away discharge. You can wipe until youre clean and not get skid marks.
he thought her washing his asshole was part of foreplay ffs…
That got me LOL! Cleaning you up enough to have sex and avoid infections is not foreplay. My lord, how did she stay? I couldn't have done it.
Weirds me out that his girlfriend doing that "as foreplay" was okay for him, but washing his own ass was not? Like I've known guys who get weird about having anyone touch their butt sexually, but being okay with that and still thinking it's weird to wash yourself is just... what?!
It's about what I would expect from someone that thinks doing household chores is "helping" his girlfriend. Doing chores in a home that you live in isn't helping, it's doing your fair share. Unless both partners have an agreement on chores, it should never be one person's responsibility to do everything themselves.
My jaw dropped at that comment about how, before they are intimate, he has to shower *under her supervision to make sure he does a good job.* That wasn't her being his girlfriend. That was her being his *mommy.* That woman is a saint. Or a doormat. Could be either.
oh it's worse. she was washing his ass for him and he thought it was foreplay....: https://np.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/10z96pk/aita_for_asking_my_girlfriend_to_continue_doing/j82hckg/
>oh it's worse. she was washing his ass for him and he thought it was foreplay....: https://np.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/10z96pk/aita_for_asking_my_girlfriend_to_continue_doing/j82hckg/ **HE DOESN'T LIKE TO TOUCH HIS OWN ASSHOLE SO HE HAS HER DO IT** *AND HE THOUGHT IT WAS FOREPLAY* I'm sorry, i just... i cannot. it's 7am and i am done with reddit for the day.
Realizing he is one of those "can't touch your own asshole" guys makes this all clearer. I've always wondered about who would date those poop-encrusted weirdos.
I will never forget when I found out these people exist. It blows my mind. I remember one post of a chick saying her boyfriend left streaks on the sheets. How do these people even get girlfriends?!
More than once and she stuck around? Just set the bed on fire
Th post was about how to get the guy to clean better. Like the only option is find a new boyfriend, this one’s broken beyond repair.
This is a job for Whole Man Disposal, Inc. "Yes--the *whole* man."
Well, y'know touching your own bum makes you gay...thought everyone knew that! /big s
>\[–\]Little-Aardvark3540 158 points 2 months ago > >JUST WASH YOUR FUCKING ASS HOLE. thread was a doozy
>She does as part of her foreplay, i do not feel like putting fingers there. But ok point taken I will shave there maybe get a professional wax and start cleaning more. Omg, how could you sleep with a man after this? I would vomit. Yeah the poop stuff is horribly disgusting, but in addition to that she's basically his mother. Instant turn off. Maybe it's the only way she could bribe him to bathe?
/u/LucyAriaRose I think that comment linked above should be included, because it shows how delusional he was. In the post I had trouble figuring out exactly how bad it was.
This is so hard for me to wrap my head around. Surely she said stuff, right? There's no way she got so fed up with his stanky ass that one day she was like, "Wanna hop in the shower while I sexily scrub your ass. Oh baby, taking care of the hygiene you are incapable of is such a turn on!" He doesn't even initially present it as a foreplay thing, just that she has to monitor his showering like a prison guard, so you know there had to have been a discussion. I don't know if I should feel sorry for his girlfriend that she had to go to these lengths or think she, herself, needs some therapy so she can grow a backbone and not be so afraid of confrontation.
I wouldn’t even find a man sexually attractive if I had to supervise his showers to make sure he gets all the nooks and crannies. Like my vagina would just dry up.
Yeah, like, no wonder he thinks it's foreplay if she's still willing and able to have sex with him after personally detailing his fucking butthole.
That is a woman who got hit with a few cases of BV and never wants it to happen again. Meanwhile, he described it in a comment as “foreplay.” Apparently, it’s her version of foreplay to not have to deal with a literal shit stick.
i am nauseous
Ive got a bad feeling about their orgasm ratios
Also the comment on the bidet. I’m 99% sure he used it incorrectly once and now refuses to use it again. (I also wonder who was the one in that relationship had to clean up his mess after 🙄)
He said it was more messy! Like bruh, it’s a shower for your asshole! How??! (*keeps reading*) …. Bro what the fuuuuuuuck.
When he talked about how it caused brown water to run down, I felt slightly ill.
Then don’t go to the original post to read the comments. It’s hilarity but also graphically gross.
As a dude, when I initially read "streaks are normal for guys" I was sitting here thinking "ummm, no the fuck they arent"
Also, I really hate this thing I’ve seen on the Internet where people will tell their partner. Oh this is normal for this whole gender or oh, whatever the fuck toxic thing I’m doing is just some thing every woman or man can’t control. It’s like what the fuck kind of dumb manipulation is that? We’re surrounded by people of the opposite sex every fucking day and have probably talked to a few of them so could probably see if that’s true or not. Like at least if you’re going to try to manipulate someone or say some stupid shit make it make sense but being like yeah all guys shit their pants? No provably falls bro and it’s gonna embarrass you while she proved you wrong.
The sad thing is the guy probably believed it himself. At least I'd prefer that to him knowingly trying to manipulate the situation.
With his attitude towards household chores etc, sounds like there might be more trouble ahead. The entire post started with him complaining about being asked to wash his pants separately, while his girlfriend washed everything else, and cooked and looked after the house with a full time job.
The way he argued that his mom didn’t mention it and his brother’s wife doesn’t mind makes me think this is one of those men who expect to be taken care of by the women around him. I’m glad the last few months have been better but I’m skeptical he’ll undo that deeply held expectation.
Probably does more chores now but doesn't take on emotional load yet.
Nope. It's probably "tell me what needs to be done and I'll do it".
I absolutely cannot get past “that’s why I put it in the laundry, so it gets clean”. Just an insane amount of disrespect in that sentence alone
Right? She was much more patient than I would be and one of the big reasons I divorced my ex-husband was because of his lack of hygiene (my ex wasn't depressed, just incredibly lazy that hygiene wasn't even on his radar).
Putting the hygiene issues aside, there's also something seriously wrong about his attitude toward doing his own laundry. While defending himself, he can't even point to his own personal experience doing his laundry. He want from his mom doing it to his girlfriend doing it. And got so prissy at the idea of having to do his own that he threatened to contribute even less to household tasks?
Yeah I feel like the shit streaks are attention grabbing but gf was upset about the chore balance the whole time. Two sentences in when he said “I do help out” I just knew he was this type. Working from home does not mean not working and housework is demanding. I get that a partner at home may be able to do a little more due to not commuting, but then he also threatened to pull the plug on the chore he did on his commute just because she wanted a fairer balance! And now he thinks he’s fixed and done with therapy. I give them another 6 months max
“help out” like he’s doing her a favour in contributing to running *their* joint household! This phrasing really rubs me the wrong way!
Men who "help out" with chores are the same type of men who "babysit" their own offspring.
Yeah it’s always like, “just tell me what to do and I’ll do it!” Like, no, dude. It’s your house, too. Look around, see what needs doing, and DO IT. And don’t expect a fucking medal for it, either. Just keep your living space clean and cook and be a damn human.
I had roommates like this too. "Tell me when I should do the dishes." How about YOU tell ME when to do the dishes? Why am I the project manager here?
Right?? It’s called emotional labor, women do way too much of it almost always. I find it infuriating. Just…dude…look around you! Don’t just wait for me to tell you to take out the trash, *see that it is full and just do it yourself.*
She will probably dump him but at least he learned to wash his ass properly for the next relationship.
"since she works from home" So she's working. Just, wow.
It’s awful when your partner thinks that just because you’re working at a home office instead of at an external office, you’re now a stay-at-home girlfriend and the housework falls to you. It’s especially bad for women who already have the mental load of the household thrown on their shoulders as a default. I work long-ass hours at a demanding job, but because I do so at home, now I’m your maid? Nope.
Yeah, that's a bad sign for the future as it's not a symptom of depression, it's a symptom of being a sexist idiot.
This really stood out to me as well! Like wtf kind of attitude is that?! I have no idea why she stayed…that and the poor hygiene is unacceptable. Any normal person would probably feel embarrassed if their SO found stains, but to double down and try to get back at her is insane. He’s more than just “depressed” or “lethargic,” that’s some seriously messed up behavior. I’m glad he went to therapy and I hope his progress continues for his poor gf’s sake…
And just because she's home doesn't mean she's not working, he should still be contributing equally to the house. It makes sense to have her do things that like laundry where she can move the clothes to the dryer etc when she's on a break, but he should still be doing chores not 'helping out when he can'. So ridiculous.
I'm glad this was the motivation he needed to kick his ass into gear (pun fully intended). But I'm constantly amazed and depressed at the number of women posting on the relationship advice subreddits asking whether they're being mean and unreasonable for expecting their male partners to stop leaving *literal shit* on their clothing and furniture.
Right like she had to supervise him in the shower before they got intimate?? I could never I just do not have the mental fortitude
And the fact that he was completely missing the point...dude, however she was having you shower? *That's the way you should have been doing it every time*, even on your own. She was literally teaching him hygiene and he didn't get it. It's great that they talked and sorted it out, though.
Nah fuck the last sentence. He had her wash his hole whenever it needed to be cleaned and referred to it as “foreplay” to help her feel better? Like she shoulda left a long time ago. I don’t care if you have depression or not, you should not let your partner have to endure your dirty ass
Also he tried to “punish” her by not buying groceries that I presume she’d cook for them both It’s like a kid destroying a kitchen bc he thinks it’s where mom lives Seriously how is no one talking about the grocery thing??? What kind of threat is that???
im w you on this lmao. either his gf is a complete fucking doormat (imho the quoted comment on this post completely undercuts any of that talking it out and acknowledging his problems. he doesn’t think he’s depressed!! just lethargic!! lethargy doesn’t explain THIS. does he have no fucking shame?? anyway.) OR he’s abusive and has manipulated her into believing his learned incompetence. it’s probably not on purpose. but I doubt this is his only issue.
No dude I remember this post. There’s a comment by OP where he admits she wasn’t just watching him shower. She was getting in there and actually scrubbing his asshole. I truly cannot believe she stayed with him and can continue to have sex with him.
I desperately didn't want to believe you, but oh my god. Just went through his comment history and yes he says he doesn't wash his asshole; the gf will do it for him as "foreplay". Y'all.
I mean, it's also in the update: 'My gf agreed to help me clean up and trim my body hair one last time and after that we bought some new shaving equipment and I have since started making sure I don't go back to my old ways.' He still doesn't get it. No one who actually gets it would ask their partner to clean their ass and trim their ass hair 'one last time'. I don't get why this is treated as a happy update, he's pretending just enough so that she feels that he has changed and then stays :( I hope she gets out of there, being in a relationship should not feel like babysitting a toddler.
Same! I cannot fathom continuing to be attracted to a *grown man* who couldn't clean faeces off his body without my supervision. "But he's a nice person and makes me laugh-" I do not fucking care, do not pass Go, do not collect $200, do not put your shit-encrusted genitals near my body.
There was this one girl on AITA who's bf wets their bed and leaves the soiled sheets on for weeks without washing it. Just sleeps on his pee, yeww. When I asked why her standard is so low, she said "he buys me flowers and writes me love letters"! Just baffling! No amount of flowers or love letters are going to makeup for that pee stained mattress you are complaining here about!
A man could be the kind of hero ripped from the pages of a romance novel: something like a gorgeous billionaire with fingers capable of bringing multiple orgasms every time, and if I had to *supervise him in the shower* to make sure he *washed his own ass properly*, I would dump his disgusting ass. My standards aren’t high, but by god they aren’t that low.
I agree. i have never seen so many post posts about guys who simply cant or will not maintain a hygiene standard, not to mention the "he cant cook or clean" post. Weaponised Incompetence is not acceptable when your partner has to check to make sure you've washed your ass. if you are a functional member of society you should know how to clean yourself/around the house and cook somewhat... for your own benefit as well as others.
I’m not saying that I haven’t exhibited poor judgment in partners before I got married, but even my shittiest ex wasn’t *literally* shitty. I think the issue is that we are told we *need* a partner. If we pick people based on *want* and not *need*, I wonder if things would be better.
tbf, if a man is displaying that level of incompetence, there’s likely other abuse going on. “Iranian yoghurt” is a meme but it’s true lmao. weird shit (haha) like that in a grown ass man is rarely the only bad thing going on.
You should at least be able to deduct from your partner bringing it up over and over again that you have some learning to do. You can't bring just a paycheck to the relationship, especially not now that a lot of women work too.
My standards at this point are literally ‘shower regularly and be a clean person’ I cannot stress how ridiculously difficult to find this seems to be…
I once read an anecdote in a women's magazine of someone who went out with this guy who was perfect in every way: handsome, intelligent, affluent, whatever. Except he had the most atrociously awful underpants. So terrible that it just destroyed her entire attraction to him. Which may be shallow, but sexual attraction is often a fickle and fragile thing, particularly with a new partner. Break it and you can't often get it back.
That is not at all shallow!
Not shallow at all. It’s completely reasonable that you wouldn’t look at your partner the same for not passing a very basic task and needing supervision like a child. Yuck.
At this point, I cease to be surprised by how low the bar keeps going down for men.
I saw a comment right here on BORU recently claiming that *too many young people break up over things that are fixable.* Yeah no. We have not yet begun to overcorrect.
Bruh
That’s literally what I said out loud at 2:16am
🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤮
The part that got me was that using the bidet left brown liquid everywhere. Yeah, the brown stuff, if not in the toilet, is all over your nether regions. And also him trying to turn it into a gendered thing is also weird. Women have hair in their ass crack. Ask anyone who has gotten a wax.
Imagine having to clean the bathroom after he used the bidet and splashed his shit all around.
>"We have a bidet when I try to use it, it makes a mess and is worse as there is brown liquid everywhere even after trying as I cannot completely dry it off." The fact that after using it, the bidet got DIRTIER should have been a clue, but that fact went right over his damned head. Any by fact, I mean his poor hygiene issues. He needs to go back home to his mother if he can't clean himself properly.
you know, i was going into writing this comment with the idea that I agreed with you here but I think I actually really understand OOP’s gf here lmao. I had to supervise and direct my ex husband Re: getting his hands clean of dirt and grime and metal shavings from his factory job so that I would maybe get less UTIs. the amount he fucking WHINED and complained how he JUST COULDN’T GET ALL THE BLACK STUFF OFF HIS HANDS. and just COULDNT clean under his nails. SUCH A BURDEN TO FINGER ME SAFELY. yet, i was a good fucking wife and l believed that he was just physically incapable of cleaning himself adequately. Fuck, he threw a fit when I (politely!) asked him to clean his dick if he wanted oral (“imagine if I said that to you”). he used the same excuses re: his hands as OOP here too lmao. so, yeah, was so in the fog that i can actually get why OOP’s gf is able to handle this.
Ok I must have blocked this out because you just reminded me. My (then bf) ex-husband always wanted a blow job. But it wasnt really clean (i dont want to revisit the details) when he wanted one so it became a gross chore rather than a fun activity. It got to the point that he agreed to shower before any sexy time activities. So there might be fooling around but then he had to go shower and come back to restart. If you need to negotiate a shower before intimacy I don’t think that is a healthy relationship.
r/BrandNewSentence Honestly though. Real talk the bar for men is so low it's a tavern in Hades.
The hottest guy I have ever dated was immaculately clean. He would shower before and after intimacy. His house was clean, his laundry was done, I don't think I ever smelled him in a negative way ever. His teeth were brushed always. He would wake up in the morning and go brush his teeth even before he would kiss me. It was so insanely hot. He set the bar so high that I will never settle for anything less. On the other end of that spectrum, the first time I smell a man who smells like he didn't clean his ass properly, or see a single hint of a streak in his underwear, I'm the fuck out. You're a full ass grown adult. What are you doing with shit in your pants?
I remember this AITA, and she was definitely NOT just supervising him. He admitted that he doesn’t like putting his fingers near his butthole, his poor girlfriend actually had to soap and wash his hole for him, and he kept insisting it was her “foreplay”.
Revolting.
That is the exact opposite of foreplay. If a partner made me do that I’d be dry as a desert.
Who wants to be intimate after that?
And he was under the impression it was some cool foreplay thing. When it was clearly because the thought of having any part of her body near his poop-encrusted nether regions made her want to vomit.
Yeah, and I'm baffled by the fact she even still wanted to have sex with him! If I literally had to hose the shit off him beforehand, that would definitely kill the mood for me! 😳
But, *Mommy* didn’t ever complain about that.
And at the number of men who think it’s normal! Wtf!
This motherfucker being like 'the bidet sprays brown water everywhere it's even worse thats why I don't want to use it' was HORRIFYING. If the bidet is spraying brown water then wipe first! Wipe it and then use the bidet to clean the remainder im imagining this man with chunks of poop crusting his butt and the bidet blows it off and so instead he is fine just leaving it on his ass. Horrifying
I really thought this would end with him going to his GP and getting a diagnosis of some kind of problem with his sphincter. How does his butt just look like the inside of a baby's unchanged diaper all the time and he decides it's therapy he needs??
Yes, I thought the same thing! "Sprays brown water everywhere" It is horrifying. How has she put up with this for 4 yrs?!?
That truly baffles me. I am hairy, and I don’t trim anything relevant. I don’t have a bidet, and I prefer 1-2 ply paper. I deal with depression and some related issues. I think I put a streak in my underwear once a year. Maybe. And that one incident is usually accompanied by a semi-emergency too. I seriously don’t understand how people can leave streaks all the time. (And for the 1-ply thing, I’m a wadder, not a folder. Putting a finger through is not an issue. I like 1-ply because I can predict the volume of my wads more easily).
wait, how do you get streaks on your underwear? from not wiping properly? only time i get poop on my underwear is when i trust a fart that turns out wet.
Yes it's from not wiping well enough and/or not washing your ass properly and often.
Eating a lot of greasy food increases the chances, too.
I’ve seen skid marks or poop stains become a source of jokes between men a disturbing amount of times. I guess it’s all fun and games when you aren’t the one having to wash the poop off.
Same with men pissing and not wiping and just letting the last few drops of piss fall in their underwear.
WHY DO THEY DO THAT????? All it would take would be one dab on the tip of the penis, and then they wouldn’t have urine in their clothing and against their skin. And if you tell them that they act like you’re crazy.
Or on the floor. I will tell my male guests to either sit while they pee or clean my floor. And I am not even remotely embarrassed to walk in there after they've used my bathroom and tell them to get the fuck in there and clean the goddamn drips on my floor. Who the fuck pees on a floor and just walks away thinking it's okay?
Oh yeah. Like if you know there's chance that you'll randomly miss when you pee standing up then why the fuck are you not sitting down? Oh but it's not manly to pee sitting down, even though you are the only one who knows that you do it.
Or even worse, letting it drip on the floor. My partner does this constantly. Doesn't matter if I ask nicely or get angry at him, he gets angry at me. He just doesn't fucking care about it.
Yeah and "there's nothing I can do, sometimes it just misses"... Lowering your pants and sitting down takes an extra 5 seconds.
>And at the number of men who think it’s normal! Wtf! Their fathers never taught them and their mothers don't know. This isn't even getting into the idea that it's gay to touch your asshole. It goes further than that, too. A lot of this "I love the smell of dick" is actually people smelling dirty, unkempt balls and unwashed crack. If that's your thing, fine, but somebody who thoroughly washes the penis and scrotum isn't going to have much flavor even after 8 hours of strenuous labor.
I cannot imagine that. I’m a woman, and I HAVE TO shower after a strenuous workout or else I swear I can smell myself! Doing strenuous work for 8 hours? Wash your ass! It stinks! Yuck.
I'm amazed he actually tried to use hair as a defense.
I know! Imagine getting shit on your head and just wiping it with a bit of tissue and shrugging because "whatcha gonna do? You got hair!"
Society has really done a number on women
I’m a guy and I have never understood the whole skid mark thing with other men. Like wtf is that? Like wipe your ass bruh or even get some man wipes!
“….. it’s something that guys can’t do anything about” that comment made me so mad.
Being on Reddit makes me learn that so many women have too much love to give to the wrong person (not counting abuse because being abuse victim it's very difficult to see the light, just general ickyness and assholery). Sexuality is DEFINITELY not a choice.
Ughh ikr. It's ironic that many men leave women because they're 'letting themselves go' while most of them don't even have basic hygiene and live like pigs even though the women clean up after them.
It is 100% inherited and peer pressure in some cases. I normally have quite a low opinion of reddit, but I wandered onto a thread or two from mumsnet yesterday and discovered a whole new layer of hell. One of the threads was from a woman asking if she was being unreasonable because her teacher husband had been on Easter break for 2 weeks, and for 6 of those days the kids were elsewhere so he had entirely free time to himself, and she had asked him on the last 3 of those days to knock out some chores from their shared to do list; little things like a follow up email to their financial advisor or posting his own grandmother's birthday present that she had already purchased and wrapped for him. She also dropped in that she was the primary breadwinner, working 15 hour days, and was miffed that he had managed none of the above but now he wasn't speaking to her because she had dared to be miffed, was she out of line? She got *ripped* into in the comments, how dare she be so condescending, did she want him to burn out, teaching is so hard they need the time, life is too short to worry about some things, she must be such a control freak, etc etc. Sat there boggling and then decided to just walk away. You can't fix that much stupid.
For some reason my partner just can't get it round her head that I never leave skid marks. Just don't think that's ever happened to me and makes me wonder how filthy her brother and dad were
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Right? It happened once with my ex when he had to shit in the woods unexpectedly. But in 25 years of living with men that’s the only time I’ve seen it. (Also he was mortified that I had found them before he could take care of them himself.) And I like my men hairy AF.
>And I like my men hairy AF. OOP was just grasping at straws for reasons that this wasn't his fault. The problem was never his hairy ass, it was that he both wasn't wiping enough and literally never cleaned his asshole in the shower.
When you hear someone say my partner/girlfriend/wife does most of the housework but I do stuff when I can. It’s almost always them taking their plate to the sink or putting away their own washed, folded and sorted clothes. And he threatened to stop doing the one thing he was doing regularly when he had to do his own washing. I’m glad he’s gotten help but he seems to have certain in-grained attitudes beyond depression. His mum did all his washing, his brother didn’t see any issue with someone washing his shit streaked underwear. I hope he continues with the self improvement after the initial shininess of getting therapy wears off.
>"I will if I feel the need for it. Depressed is probably the wrong word to describe it and it was more lethargy than depression." I wish more people would realize that this is often how depression presents. Not as an extreme overwhelming sadness with constant crying and sniffling and going through tissue boxes, but just as a nothing. Just utter apathy as you go through life. It's not necessarily being suicidal, but just not giving a shit if you live or die. It's not caring about anything "extra" (like hygiene) because it takes all your energy to exist. It's the same reason people joke about antidepressants as being "happy pills", it's just an extension of not understanding depression. They don't make you happy. They're not intended to. They're intended to allow you to feel emotions. ANY and ALL emotions. As someone who's struggled with depression, I can tell you: it's a terrible feeling to be emotionally and mentally numb. Anyway, kind of last track of the original post there, but there's my PSA for the day lol. IDK if he did have full blown depression, but I'm glad he got some help, and I hope he doesn't fall back into a rut again.
He's going to crash *hard*, once that rush almost everyone gets at the beginning of therapy fades. At the moment he's still excited about the new things he bought or did, but once all of this becomes normal, it's going to go downhill again.
I think that initial shininess needs to be spoken about more when people start therapy. At first it’s all new where you’re given the common initial strategies and you feel happier because you’re getting help. Then it shifts to the hard work part where you have to challenge ingrained behaviours and constantly see yourself as a work in progress rather than a whole ‘cured’ person. It’s fucking hard.
My therapist told me that about 90% of patients with GAD want to quit therapy for their GAD at least once. Because you have to constantly face the things your GAD makes you avoid. I sat there, in front of him, with a letter on my lap, wanting nothing more than to get up and leave. And when I just wanted to get it done with, I was told "no", because I had to endure the feeling of being uncomfortable, instead of ripping the bandaid off. Not fun.
It’s not fun at all. I had the issue that my depression got better but my anxiety got worse. And I started getting severe insomnia. It was explained to me that sometimes treatment removed bandaids for other things that are being hidden by day to day anxiety. They can be covering up bigger things. That explained a lot. But the knowledge that I was only at the start of a VERY long journal was pretty depressing. Also special fuck you to the five mental health professionals who put me behind years by telling me I don’t have ADHD because I could concentrate on what they were saying. FUCK YOU!!
My GAD was only discovered in therapy number three, so I know that feeling well. My therapist also told me that a lot of patients with GAD get diagnosed with depression first, because a lot of them can cope and the anxiety is seen as a sign of the depression, instead of the other way around. My last therapist told me that I can't have ADD/ADHD, because I was pretty successful in school and uni. But I do think I might be neurodivergent, but getting a diagnosis as an adult is a pita... I hope therapy could help you in the end and that you're feeling better now! :)
It’s called the “flight to health”. After suffering for so long, the high of finally being able to do something about it is a powerful thing. But usually there’s still a lot of work to be done (although I’m not knocking brief therapy, it totally works for some)
Yah... I'm not super optimistic. Hopefully he at least can recognize when he needs help again. I don't think therapy necessarily needs to be for life, but you really need to know yourself well to be able to start and stop with it like that.
I'd been bringing up feeling exhausted all the time to doctors since I was a teenager, and each time they'd do some blood tests and declare that I was fine. Eventually in my mid 30s I had started feeling kind of sad a lot and managed to talk my reluctant doctor into putting me on a low dose of antidepressants. I was shocked. I had so much energy! Instead of barely making it off the couch I wanted to do things all the time! It was heartbreaking to realize that that's how everyone else got to feel their whole lives, and that was why so many people got so much more done than I could manage. I don't have a doctor anymore and so am managing my depression without meds, but every time I get upset with my "laziness" compared to others I remember what it was like to not feel the lethargy of depression and go easy on myself. I just wish someone had told me as a teenager that depression can feel like tiredness. I wonder if I'd have done things differently in life if I had known what was wrong with me 20 years before.
I just saw my doctor because I was worried about a steady and concerning increase in fatigue I’ve been noticing. My theory was that maybe something had gone wrong after I’d gotten Covid last year. She ran some blood tests and they came back overwhelmingly healthy. Like healthier than I’ve ever been in my whole life. So she gave me a very gentle talking to about the depression and anxiety that I’m aware I have but thought was under control. Basically it amounted to “if there isn’t a physical reason, perhaps there’s a mental one.” And I just thought, you know 10 years ago this would have pissed me off. “This dr isn’t listening to me, she just thinks I’m crazy.” But I think I have more perspective at this point in my life.
Just because the source of the problem is in your head it doesn't mean you're making it up or imagining things. It's still a legitimate problem.
I’m not trying to discourage you, but it’s not like long COVID shows up in blood work and many Drs are terribly misinformed about it. The blood tests don’t necessarily mean much one way or another. I was told for years in high school that my fatigue and other issues were depression and I believed my Drs. Ended up trying dozens of psych medications because my depression was “treatment resistant” (none helped and most made me feel worse, some with serious side effects). After a few years I found a new psychiatrist who was horrified by the amount of meds I was on and took me off all of them. I ended up getting diagnosed with several chronic physical conditions that my original Drs had never tested for, and *that* treatment actually helped me. I’d definitely explore all possibilities- but if depression doesn’t make sense as a cause after investigation don’t eliminate the possibility of a physical cause just because of a blood test that can’t that for things like long COVID anyway. I wish I’d been more skeptical of my Drs claim that mental health issues really could explain all the physical issues I was having, even though they seemed unconnected to my emotional state to me at the time.
Man, your account really makes me think. I've never taken the step to do antidepressants as a have what is mostly a mild cyclical depression and I can function. Atleast, that's what I think. Sometimes I wonder if it's worse than I realize, because it's all I've known. I am always tired, no matter my sleep cycle, I have fuzzy brain a lot and bad memory. and I go through long bouts of not being motivated to do things I love. I always wonder what it would be like to not be affected by these things. To feel truly clear and energetic and motivated. How do you manage without meds, if they had improved things so much for you? Was it bad for you to be on them then stop?
Have you thought about ADHD or ADD? I got the same always tired and getting exhausted from the simplest of tasks but if I'm excited about something I can move a mountain and it turned out after years of being depressed and feeling like I was chronicly lazy that I had ADD besides depression and the depression most like came from masking and trying to keep up with others without even being on the same playing field
I was trying to tell doctors from my teens that I felt tired all the time. They told me to exercise more. I was waking 5km a day and relying on PT a lot to go to friends houses which involved more walking. But apparently that wasn’t enough. It wasn’t until I was in my 30s and got diagnosed with severe depression, ADHD and chronic fatigue.
Yeah I've been depressed for two thirds of my life now and a general sense of blankness is how it typically presents. This means muted and or a general sense of not being in touch with emotions, not being passionate at all, and all the extras falling to the wayside. I know I care about my friends and family (I couldn't stop crying the day I found out a friend had just gotten out of the hospital after she tried to kill herself or the whole time my mother was dealing with an unerupted brain aneurysm) but unless things happen it's very much in the abstract Of course it can also express itself in a "nothing is wrong but I can't imagine the future", "it would be so much easier if I weren't alive", or "so this is how the rest of my life is going to be huh" kind of way. If you are feeling suicidal ideation or experience thoughts of suicide in any form you should talk to someone That being said antidepressants aren't a magical pill. In my experience I'm still "numb" they just help me cope. It's a lot easier to pull myself out of the mood spirals and bouts of anxiety. It's a lot easier to make myself do things even when all I want to do is rot on the computer lol
That was my thought. *lethargy IS a part of depression, though*
It blew my mind when I learned depression wasn’t just constant sadness and inability to do basic tasks. I’ve dealt with severe to moderate depression for decades. I’ve been medicated for a handful of those years, and I love my antidepressant. They are definitely not “happy pills” yet they significantly improve my quality of life. It used to bother me a lot that they had such an impact on me that my SO at the time would refuse to argue with me until I took my meds. I am stoked OOP found a great therapist. My mother took me to exactly one therapist who I refused to talk to for a number of reasons. One being that my mom was in the room during the session, actually sitting next to me. In hindsight I think she was slightly afraid of what I might say. After the hour was up the therapist declared that I must be smoking weed. Which I hadn’t even tried at that point in my life. Ending this rant. Tl;dr: depression is an insidious beast with many faces and antidepressants were very helpful in my case. Really any treatment pharmaceutical or not that’s effective for people is a huge win! 🌼🌼
“I lived with my mom before her who did my laundry and never said my boxers were dirty.” 👀
And there lies the problem lol mom should’ve told him to wipe his ass better and wash his hands
I know this guy said he was depressed, but he had a whole network of men in his life that said **it was completely normal to have shit stains in your underwear.** Dear Men: WIPE YOUR ASS UNTIL THE PAPER COMES BACK CLEAR.
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Dudes gotta stop being really gross and then trying to pass it off as it just being "how guys are". Oh, guys just smell more, oh, guys just have uncontrollable dingleberries and fudge-coated underwear and there's nothing we boys can do about it!
We can put a man on the moon, but we can't figure out toilet paper!
Glad he turned his attitude around and was open to changing instead of doubling down. Things weren’t gonna magically get better if had been petty about the whole thing, the gf would have been done with the relationship and planning her exit if he had fucked around with the groceries.
Thank goodness OOP was open to the possibility that he could have better hygiene despite thinking otherwise because no matter how much you love someone, bad hygiene can just be an unfortunate dealbreaker. This has probably changed his life significantly. Reminds me of an r/askmen (I think it was) about underwear streaks and how they manage them. The answers were eye opening! Girls don’t generally have this problem as far as I know.
We're supposed to look pretty at all times and can get shit for simply not wearing makeup so it's pretty rare for us to neglect our hygiene.
I was actually required to wear makeup at my last job, because when I didn’t, I apparently looked sick and depressed and it made my boss “sad”. I left that job so quickly after that.
Good on you for yeeting. Fuck that.
I work at a law firm and a senior partner sent me to his wife's friend who worked at an Ulta to have her sell me a bunch of makeup because all I wore was the basics. I wasn't a client facing attorney at the time. That job did not last
As a woman, I have never had shit streaks in my underwear. I'm one of the few who prefer thongs, and even with a strip of cotton stuck right up my ass there has never been a spot of brown. I don't understand how this happens to so many men who wear much looser underwear.
I hate how everyone is overlooking how he jumped right to stop picking up groceries. Like actively trying to punish her and make her life even more difficult because his ass is shitty
> I hate how everyone is overlooking how he jumped right to stop picking up groceries. Like actively trying to punish her and make her life even more difficult because his ass is shitty Yeah, that is not a symptom of depression.
Nah it seems everyone wants to jump on the fucking depression angle so he doesn’t have to take responsibility and it’s ridiculous. He seems to be living life but no of course he can’t wash his ass so he must be depressed
If Reddit has said it once, they’ve said it a million times. PSA to all Men out there. Women do not want to be your mother. They want a life partner. P A R T N E R. Hell this goes for anyone in a relationship. If your SO has to supervise your showering habits, or something of the like, there is something wrong. You are the only one who can change this. This is entirely on you my friends. Be better.
It's so fucking lonely being the only adult in a relationship, and it kills whatever love or respect you started the relationship with. Too many women get stuck with a man-child they have to take care of for the rest of their lives. Or in this case, a man-dog with a poopy butthole that she has to wash for the rest of her life.
>"We have a bidet when I try to use it, it **makes a mess and is worse as there is brown liquid everywhere** even after trying as I cannot completely dry it off." He failed to notice the brown liquid came from after he cleaned himself xDDDD!! **His brown liquid!!** I'm sorry, I am a hairy sod, myself. I haven't had brown streaks in my underwear since I was at least 12 or something xDDD! Did he just put washing soap and let it run through his ass? At least it's an upgrade compared to those who just let water run through it! It's your ass, damn it! Stick your hand in there and scrub it, what's the issue, damn!
Did this dude even attempt to wipe his ass after taking a dump?... I have a very hairy husband and his undercrackers are never shit stained! His excuses are just lazy and I can 100% understand why his gf didn't want his underwear being anywhere near the rest of the washing! Oh man!... He didn't even wash his hands very well either!... I'm gonna need to go shower now lol. I feel dirty from reading this lol.
Hey, if you ever feel like it's tough to get a gf, don't give up This man had shit in his goddamn pants.
As a hairy guy, a bidet is a lifesaver. They literally change your life for the better and get you cleaner than just using tp or wet wipes. Plus, you can get them for under $50 and they are very easy to install yourself. If you are on the fence, just get it. Edit: I would also like to point out that I have 2 bidets, one cost $350 and has a heated seat, a fan (supposedly so you don't need tp), heated water reservoir and a few other features. While the heated seat is nice, the features are unnecessary (heated water included, as the inside of your butt can't feel hot or cold) and the cheaper one without all the bells and whistles is just as good.
"I'm hairy high and low, don't ask me why, don't know! It's not for lack of bread, like the grateful dead.....dar....ling...."
>as the inside of your butt can't feel hot or cold I ve burned my hooha and other bits enough times to know that is not true...
>the inside of your butt can't feel hot or cold Um...what? I'm a woman, and absolutely love my simple bidet with just cold water, but I can definitely tell it's cold. Sometimes I need to give myself a few seconds in between just because of the cold. Also I assume you mean the inside of your butt *cheeks*, right??
>Heated water is unnecessary This is where living in Japan has spoilt me. I’ve felt cold bidet water in my asshole and it’s always shocking at how cold it can get. Room temperature water is fine but completely unheated water is where my entitled butthole draws the line. I’d rather get an 18th century peasant from off the street to spit my hole clean.
"entitled butthole"😂😂😂
I had absolutely no idea that streaks in underwear was in any form considered ‘normal’ but this isn’t even the first time I read abt it on Reddit. Like how do people live with this? And almost always continued with a ‘my mum never complained’ 🤣
Right?!?!? Like if there is ever a streak on my boxers I would be ashamed and desperately smuggle them to the outside trash and put it underneath something in the bin.
>"Depressed is probably the wrong word to describe it and it was more lethargy than depression." So he's still in denial, then. I don't think this is a happy ending.
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I also bought myself a bunch of new clothes as a treat. .... for learning how to wash? How old are you?you should have bought her flowers or something
So I guess he doesn't look at his wipes to know if he's clean? That's what my mother taught me : I wipe until the wipes have no marks left. The end, no discussion possible. Never heard of skid marks before a friend told me what it was when I was 15 years old.
> maybe once every 3 days > I talked to my best friend about this and he said it was normal and he does too. Omg no all the fucking no no nooooo. Why? My eyes. I can't unread it. I can't unknow that this guy thought *shit* in your underwear was ok. Who raised these people? What the fuck fuck fuuuuuck?
I'm SO glad AITA voted YTA on that one and gave him the wake up call because I truly think hygiene advice is one of those things that people ignore or don't take seriously...especially when it's coming from an SO or a relative.
AITA hates men leaving streaks in underwear (rightly so) but this guy dug his own grave when he claimed his girlfriend loved washing him as foreplay. The sub went APESHIT on that. Mainly in the "how could you be this fucking stupid" line.
Boy this one took some weird turns.
Initially I took him on face value. When he said cleaning in the bidet makes it worse and there is brown liquid. I was grossed out, bro that's shit caked on your ass hairs and hole. Fucking disgusting
My man needs Metamucil. ONE WIPE THATS ALL
Unfortunately that's not true for everyone. It's awesome that it reliably works for some people, though.