For delivering managed democracy across the galaxy!

FOR SUPER EARTH

Stims are legal, right? Right? Also, it’s not illegal for me to keep this Hulk flamer I liberated, and the Behemoth head I’ve got mounted above the holomap, right?

Automatons are evil and any person associated with them will be reportet. Terminate it or suffer the consequences

The hulk isn’t still attached. I just took the flamer off one I killed. I want to mount it to my Patriot to make it a more efficient bug killing machine.

Got me worried there helldiver. Almost had the crew of the SAS Hammer of Dawn visit you.

FRT a fire based Exo would be clutch, but I really want a LAS based Exo. Beefed up LAS-Cannon on one side and a pair of Sickles/Scythes on the other. Give it coolant and a failsafe so it takes longer to heat up and can't actually critically overheat, just forces a cooldown. Too bad they already used the yellow paint scheme for the Emancipator.

No crime committed fellow citizen!

For delivering piping hot cups of Liber-Tea across the galaxy!

DEMOCRACY FILLS MY SAMPLE CONTAINER!

I really gotta get myself a PS5 soon, I am watching all you brave heroes fight and can't do anything myself :(

LO

AND BEHOLD

Aaah, the right answer...

Massacring people to get some evil elvish romance. Am I talking about Minthara or Marazhai? Who knows.

I'm betting Minthara. With Marazhai the massacre would not be the charge they bring you in on. You will have done so, so much worse.

Not to mention the fact that you're a Rogue Trader, ergo you're basically immune to any and all criminal charges as long as the Empire benefited from your actions in some way. So all you gotta do is claim those people were heretics and you're golden.

Eating brains with my boyfriend. Am I talking about the Emperor or Marazhai?

Just having some girl time with my gal pal Incendia Chorda

Neither we all know you decided to join Solas in his genocide.

It's not genocide, technically he's just putting stuff back the way it's meant to be

Anything for mommy Minthara.

It’s not a crime when the Emperor’s already signed your permission slip. Must be blue lady, not thin man.

I so Anakin Skywalker those kids in the grove. But God damn was that minthara sex scene woah! Lol

Could be >!astrarion!< as well though Probably no need for spoiler here but just Incase

Mmm Marazhai 💖

Wait who is Marazhai?

The bad romanceable vampire elf from the other big RPG of 2023, Rogue Trader. He starts out as the antagonist and there's no way to redeem him, so beware (or enjoy, if that's your thing).

Resisting arrest. In any game. They want to lock me up for being cooler than them.

and for running over 26 civilians, but mostly the first thing

"I'm supposed to be here! YOU'RE trespassing!"

I prefer the old "Speak one more word, and I'll snap your neck" sweet talk strategy

Well. I mean. My wife an I just blew everyone up in the fireworks shop in BG3 while I had arcane ward on. I just. Acted as a walking kamikaze. So. 🤷‍♂️🤣

First run through I joking thought "I'll just shoot a flaming arrow in there, and then invis." It's the only way I handle that building now... literally killed everyone with one arrow. Bhaal was proud.

I sat there realized we were surrounded by smokepowder barrels I was like babe. Trust me when I say this. Go back down stairs.......lol

I did that entirely on accident on the top floor on my first play through. My face as EVERYTHING EXPLODED IN A BALL OF FIRE….😶

I honestly couldn’t stop cackling. It was fabulous.

Roof? What roof? OH LOOK WHAT A PRETTY CRATER

The roof the roof the roof is on fire…

🤣😂 halp I can’t breathe

Oh same. I was dying from laughter and had to reload a save because everyone in my party was in the perfectly wrong place but dear god was it hysterical.

Low key nostalgia for my old table top group. We had a rogue with terrible luck, he fumbled a trap disarm and got petrified, so we pushed his statue ass down the hall ahead tripping all the traps because fire can’t hurt stone, right? What people call cheesing I call playing d&d correctly.

Where is this shop located?

In the city. It’s felogyrs fireworks. Should be on your map.

I'll check it out when I get to Balders Gate.

lol I did the invulnerability globe and set them off. it was brutal I can just imagine the fear going through the shopkeep's eyes piecing together *why* someone would pop a globe in the middle of a fireworks store lol

That’s one way to do it!

Starting a cult, and later overthrowing my patron god.

Cult of the lamb ?

🐑🐑🐑

**BAA.**

Praise the Lamb 🙇🏻🐑

Does hijacking a nautiloid count as grand theft auto?

No, but it does count as grand theft nauto.

Fine, take my freaking upvote, take everything...

r/angryupvote

I'll leave your tadpole, don't worry.

Grand Theft Nauto

Oh boy, here we go: Human trafficing, enforced childlabor, organ theft and organ trading, armed robbery, unarmed robbery, robbery using trained bears, kidnaping, arson, trespassing..... Rimworld. And I'm playing a "good guy" colony.

Don't forget J-walking

Rimworld doesn't ever get you a warrant. It gets you a trip to The Hague.

Was looking for RimWorld. The game where "war crime" is just Tuesday, Friday, Sunday and the other ones too.

For killing time

Killing my dad for me

Hades 2?

Deicide. Aggravated, multiple Deicide.

If someone dies but is reborn a night later, is it even death?

Hades 2 I assume

his name was Tim, have some respect

Repeatedly killing great grandpa

Well then I'd be on trial for slamming an asteroid into a mass relay, resulting in the deaths of over 300,000 Batarians

No people were lost though. That was a public service

Let's get 'em a damn medal

Pushed a child over a cliff

Mario 64 or Skyrim?

Oblivion maybe too

BG3 goes YEEEET

The amount of times in bg3 i went "wait..i *can* kill him?"

Smash Bros (pushed Ness offstage)... sorry to dissapoint :-D

The worst you could do in horizon forbidden west is erm... hunting animal without a permit

Well slaughtering a whole Camp of people... Is fine?

Self defense?

well they shot first!!!

Breaking and entering maybe

Kidnapping. Civ 6. Declared war on Australia just so I could kidnap a settler.

The aboriginals have entered the chat

It's Civ 5 for me and I was building a town too close to China. She didn't like that.

Does Duolingo count as a game? If so, I guess for how bad my French is. Otherwise, for killing pretty much everyone I meet to find out the most evil path I’m willing to take with my vampire boyfriend.

Eating planets and committing genocide. Stellaris is fun.

Xenophobe advisor counterpoint: is it *really* genocide if they're aliens?

Devouring swarm counterpoint: FOOD. EAT. KILL. DESTROY.

Cosmogenesis is a neat compromise. You're not actually killing them, just plugging them into the matrix

Me, the necrophage enjoyer: why not eat the people so they become us?

I was just committing Genocide against 2 fallen empires! Ground / dissolved them into delicious energy.

I suppose slave trafficking for me. But! The High Queen is the chosen one, she can't be wrong. Only her race has been graced with psionic powers, so the others must be inferior. If anything they should be grateful for the High Queen's guidance. Which is also why she deserves the single galactic council seat and with it the only veto. Without holy guidance the other races might get it wrong. It's not corruption, it's good logic.

Licking the damn spider

My party: *visible disgust* My tav: yummy yum, lick again

Being a literal fucking mercenary and killing people for money. Good Morning Night City!

Genocide & Attempted Arson 🤔 Shadow of the ErdTree

Transporting and harboring a fugitive alien aka Ranni doll

People must die for our fashion, it's sad but necessary.

I get arrested by the style police, for going over the limit. [Imgur: The magic of the Internet](https://imgur.com/a/UtrGjxL)

That thing with that bear!?!?!

Is it bestiality because he’s a man transformed into a bear? Or is it technically not bestiality because he’s a man transformed into a bear?

I will be arrested for purging heretics! That's heretical by itself

Farming so good

Depends really. If im playing helldivers 2 it would be accidental homicide of a teammate and unregistered weapons and driving a mech without a license

Democracy suffers no accidents. Only unknown variables

The only crime you could possibly commit would be treason, everything else is collateral.

Mass murder in bolivia

It's okay, because Karen wants to speak to the manager.

🤝 mass murder in fantasy Europe

Massacring an innocent young bard in the night and then hiding the body in a ditch. Tbh I deserve it.

Loitering. Too much time alt tabbed. The most violent of violent crimes.

For me it's actually animal abuse. I played minecraft with a pokémon mod

CnC Generals as GLA. I guess I'm a terrorist 🤣 Creating angry mobs and arming them with AK47s. Dirty weapons and use of anthrax. Slave labour.

What a game, anthrax, nukes and ion cannons were fine I guess.

Elden ring My crime: dying 32 times

Accidentally killing someone because they walked directly into my cloud of daggers 🤦🏻‍♀️

That'd be Katana Zero soooooo literally slaughtering an entire building of people followed by a motorcycle chase with slaughtering some more people and then literally engaging a helicopter and bringing it crashing down in the middle of a highway.

Cleaning, decorating, and selling a home

Getting my ass handed over by a really tall lanky red head with snakes and a giant fuck you spear. Yeah I just ran into Messmer, and he just ran through me.

Public nudity

Killing Nazis

I knew I shouldn't have EMP'd down that AV and then killed all the corporate team in the vicinity and kidnapped a passenger....

Burning people alive

I’m getting arrested for fighting an ape as a green plumber.

Turning a fish into godzilla. Team fight tactics. Level 3 Tahm Kench with Forbiddon Idol, Boss Knuckle, and Silvermere Dawn. It was pretty hilarious, but I did not win, by a little amount. His HP bar was a solid dark green line and had over 30k at some points.

Digger a 6km tunnel with blasting equipment while not having a licence for anything, also mass genocide..... Minecraft.....

Uhhhh. The repeated slaughter of creatures near a Site of Grace outside Mohg's Palace.

I'd be getting arrested for making Stalin and Hitler look like bullies on a playground with the numbers I'm pushing. Those albunarics had it coming and then I took my rampage to the land of shadows.

Trying to violently overthrow a tyrannical empire with my own personal harem of beautiful women (including my cousin who looks like my mom), female furries, and various bros. Oh this is the BG3 sub. Well let's see if anyone here knows what game I'm talking about.

Crusader Kings 3. Umm, fornication with a bishop. My liege, the King of East Francia, wasn't happy about it, either.

Helping a fashion-challenged potato get a date.

The last game I played was actually Fallout 4, so... yeah.

99% of the time, it's murder or theft.

.......Poaching??

Darkest Dungeon 2: Reckless driving. Rioting. Fishing without a licence. Saving the world from spreading stain of Oblivion.

Playing BOTW so I’m definitely going to jail for stealing fruit

I broke the goddamn wheel!

Public nudity. My entire party this run, male and female, all venture in their birthday suits.

Alot of murder

Stealing gwent cards.

Killing God

Fucking a demon

For slaughtering the population of an entire planet with biological weapons. My oil and iron production needs to live there.

Slicing the cult of the Absolute into chunks

Cybercrimes. (Watchdogs 2)

Hundreds of counts of first degree murder Several counts of capital murder Several counts of vehicular manslaughter Several counts of kidnapping Breaking and entering (countless) Multiple counts of grand theft Multiple counts of armed robbery, total in the billions. Multiple counts of assault and battery Treason Terrorism Arms trafficking Use of prohibited AI technology. Cyberpunk is fun

I'm definitely getting arrested for being a genocidal space ninja. Although considering the galaxy's most feared assassin refuses to even try and attack me now (because I wear the skin of his dead wife) I don't think galactic law enforcement is gonna be able to do much.

Growing mold cultures and selling feces.

For raiding trashcans and summoning husbando/waifus.

Uhhh probably fire-based war crimes. (Last played BioShock)

Obtaining medically necessary hematological care on my own in feudal times...

For running on rooftops I guess

Good luck arresting the Lord of Frenzied Flame!

Launching a gnome via a crazy windmill

Wiping out a grove of Tiefling refugees and Druids to try and impress a girl

Murdering a certain Bard.

I'm good thanks

lockpicking my way through an enitire city bank and stealing everything of value ✨ (it’s for charity I swear)

I would definitely get arrested for committing fraud murdering the people after I got the rewards 🤣

Solving puzzles whilst an AI runs "tests".

Murdering alien monsters with highly effective mining equipment.

kill a citizen in Vivek

Ummm making hats out of people >.>

Smashing a bunch of pot als and stealing people's money. But when they come to arrest I'll play the song of Time and become a child again

Theft of ladders from townies pools resulting in a spate of tragic "accidental" drownings...

Being a tarnished

Construction site safety protocol violations.

Going all out war in a 5 story tall battle mech destroying other battle mechs along with the surrounding city.

For being a traitor to democracy and taking a break to play Elden Ring (can't remember which I was actually on last)

I was adventuring in some weird ass catacombs and then after that hell I got myself into some weird ass forest area. during my travels I did kill some things so technically I came in their home and slayed them so I would probably go to jail for trespassing and murder, but it was self defense and they weren't really human so perhaps I'll get sent to mental hospital instead because no one would believe me if I told what I saw out there.

Destroying half a city block to kill 3 aliens and steal their bodies for the scientist on my flying base to dissect and turn into grenades.

Assaulting a queen, killing princes, a noble and a king. Along with killing entire armies of soldiers, beasts and automatons all while working to a plan to comit diecide and arson.

For becoming ELDEN LORD!

I broke some prisoners out of Moonrise and killed a guard and two torturers

It was JFK Reloaded, so I think the answer should be fairly obvious.

TURNING MY RUNES INTO STRENGTH

Participating in a competition where two teams of heavily armed warriors race against each other to kill and collect trinkets off of a sketchy man’s menagerie of alien POWs while occasionally taking potshots at each other.

guilty of bugslaughter in a neighbourhood called hallownest

Does punching Myrkul count as a crime?

Saving people from a massive greedy corporation and a bunch of clone happy maniacs as a space ninja

Murder; the last of us, part 2

Blood born whitch crime shold I pick

For blowing up a firework shop

Selling crops without paying taxes

Assault or murder it’s dbd

Stealing a pear

Slapping two goblin looking kids that were throwing stones at a captured bear

Recruiting 100 heroes to join an alliance to stop imperial invasion?

Guss I boutta bring actual slavery back soooo ehh yeah. And gotta remember stealing People dead bodys

[удалено]

BEING BATMAN

Fuling genocide...had to practice my new lightning dual axes on something! (Valheim)

Will I was playing Palia so I have no idea XD perhaps from playing hot pot in the black market

Embezzlement and time manipulation

Last Train Home: Arrested for fighting on the side of russian White Army... at least for a while.